Sentence Variety

Mixing Long and Short Sentences

Use a Question, Command,

or Exclamation

Vary the Beginnings of Sentences

Good Writers

Good writers pay attention to sentence variety. They notice how sentences work together within a paragraph and they seek a mix of

different sentence lengths and types. Experienced writers have a variety of

sentence patterns from which to choose.

They try not to overuse one pattern.

Mixing Long and Short Sentences

Beginning writers tend to overuse short, simple sentences. Notice the length of the sentences in the following paragraph:

(1) There is one positive result of the rising crime rate. (2) This has been the growth of neighborhood crime prevention programs. (3) These programs really work. (4) They teach citizens to patrol their neighborhood. (5) They teach citizens to work with the police. (6) They have dramatically reduced crime in cities and towns across the country. (7) The idea is catching on.

How might it be revised?

Now read the revised version. It is not as simplistic and childish due to a variety of sentence lengths:

(1) One positive result of the rising crime rate has been the growth of neighborhood crime prevention programs. (2) By teaching citizens to patrol their neighborhoods and to work with the police, they have drastically reduced crime in cities and towns across the country. (3) The idea is catching on.

Although short sentences can be used effectively anywhere in a paragraph, they can be especially useful as introductions or conclusions, such as sentence 3 above. Note the powerful effect of the short sentences between the longer ones in the following paragraph.

(1) I recall being told, when I first moved to Los Angeles and was living on an isolated beach, that the Indians would throw themselves into the sea when the bad wind blew. (2) I could see why. (3) The Pacific turned ominously glossy during a Santa Ana period, and one woke in the night troubled not only by the peacocks screaming in the olive trees but by the eerie absence of the moon. (4) The heat was surreal. (5) The sky had a yellow cast, the kind of light sometimes called earthquake weather. (6) My only neighbor would not come out of her house for days, there were no lights at night, and her husband roamed the place with a machete. (7) One day he would tell me that he had heard a by-passer; the next a rattlesnake.

Joan Didion, Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Now, lets look at a good example . . .

Practice with a PartnerRevise and rewrite the following paragraph in a variety of sentence lengths. Recombine sentences in any way you wish, but do not alter the meaning of the paragraph. Feel free to mix up the placement!

(1) The park is alive with motion today. (2) Joggers pound up and down the boardwalk. (3) Old folks watch them from the benches. (4) Sailors row boats across the lake. (5) The boats are green and wooden. (6) Two teenagers hurl a Frizbee back and forth. (7) They yell and leap. (8) A shaggy white dog dashes in from nowhere. (9) He snatches the red disc in his mouth. (10) He bounds away. (11) The teenagers run after him.

Using a Question, Command, or Exclamation!

The most commonly used sentence is the declarative sentence or statement. However, and occasionally carefully placed question, command, or exclamation is an effective way to achieve sentence variety.

Using the QUESTION:Why did I become a cab driver? First, I truly enjoy driving a car and exploring different parts of the city, the classy avenues, and the hidden back streets. In addition, I like meeting all kinds of people, from bookmakers to governors, each with his unique story and many willing to talk to the back of my head. Of course, the pay is not bad and the hours are flexible, but it is the places and the people that I love.

The previous paragraph began with a question. The writer does not really expect the reader to answer it. Rather, it is a rhetorical question, one that will be answered by the writer in the course of the paragraph. A rhetorical question used as a topic sentence can provide a colorful change from the usual declarative sentences.

Is America really the best-fed nation in the world?

What is courage?

Why do more people take drugs today than ever before?

The Command and the Exclamation!

(1) Try to imagine using failure as a description of an animal behavior. (2) Consider a dog barking for fifteen minutes and someone saying, “He really isn’t very good at barking. I give him a “C”.” (3) How absurd! (4) It is impossible for an animal to fail because there is no provision for evaluating natural behavior. (5) Spiders construct webs, not successful or unsuccessful webs. (6) Cats hunt mice; if they are not successful in one attempt they simply go after another. (7) They don’t sit there whining and complaining about the one that got away and have a nervous breakdown because they failed. (8) Natural behavior simply is. (9) Now . . . Apply the same logic to your own behavior and rid yourself of the fear of failure.

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Your Erroneous Zones

The paragraph begins and ends with commands. Sentences 1, 2, and 9 address the reader directly and have the implied subject you. Sentences 3 and 8 are exclamations. Be careful with commands, exclamations, and questions. Try them out, but use them, especially the exclamation, sparingly.

Now, it’s your turn . . .Write a paragraph that begins with a rhetorical question. Choose one of the questions below or compose your own. Be sure that the body of the paragraph really does answer the question.

1. How has high school changed me?2. Is marriage worth the risk?3. Why do I love watching (fill in the blank) on TV?4. Is anything safe to eat these days?5. Why do I cheat (or refuse to cheat) at my job (or at school)?

Vary the Beginnings of Sentences

Begin with an Adverb

Since the first word of many sentences is the subject, one way to achieve sentence variety is by occasionally starting a sentence with a word or words other than the subject.

1 – He laboriously dragged the large crate up the stairs.2 – Laboriously, he dragged the large crate up the stairs.

1 – The contents of the beaker suddenly began to foam.2 – Suddenly, the contents of the beaker began to foam.

A comma usually follows an adverb that introduces a sentence, however, adverbs of time such as often, now, always, do not require a comma.

Strong verbsIt would be misleading to state that style or voice is nothing more than the use of strong verbs.

Style is ultimately the reflection in language of your total personality, but the conscious search for vigorous, forceful verbs can be a major step in learning to control language so that it speaks to you and through you.

The verb may be the key element in making your writing sound fresh as well as energetic and exact.

Selection of the strong verb almost automatically helps you find your own voice.

The sun _1_ on the grass and warmed it, and in the shade under the grass the insects _2_ . . . . And over the grass at the roadside a land turtle _3_, _4_ his high-domed shell over the grass. His hard legs and yellow-nailed feet _5_ slowly through the grass, not really walking but _6_ and _7_ his shell along. The barley beards _8_ off his shell, and the clover burrs _9_ and fell to the ground. His horned beak _10_ partly open, and his fierce, humorous eyes, under brows like fingernails, _11_ straight ahead. He _12_ over the grass leaving a beaten trail behind him and the hill, which was the highway embankment, _13_ up ahead of him. For a moment he stopped, his head held high. He _14_ and _15_ up and down. At last he started to climb the embankment. Front clawed feet _16_ forward but did not touch. The hind feet _17_ his shell along, and it _18_ on the grass, and on the gravel. As the embankment _19_ steeper and steeper the more frantic were the efforts of the land turtle. Pushing hind legs _20_ and _21_ boosting the shell along, and the horney head _22_ as far as the neck could stretch.

You do the workRewrite your previous paragraph so that it:

1. Uses a variety of sentence lengths.

2. Makes use of a Command, an Exclamation, and a Question

3. Has at least one sentence that begins with an Adverb.

4. Use as many strong

verbs as possible.