Sentence Patterns 9-10

with variations

Pattern 9 Formula

Repetition of a Key Term

__

S V key term or repeated key term.

,

(use dash or comma before repetition)

Explanation• Repeat a key word in a modifying phrase

attached to the main clause.• Repeat the word exactly as it is, or you may use

another form.– brute brutal; breath breathtaking; battle

battling

• Key term– Important– Anywhere in the sentence, but usually at the end

• Dash or comma– dash = longer pause, a greater break in thought

• Note 1: Key word must be worth repeating– Ineffective, uninteresting repetition:

• He was a good father, providing a good home for his good children.

• Note 2: Be sure attached phrase with the repeated key tern is NOT a complete sentence (or else you will create a comma splice)–Wrong: He was a cruel brute of a man, he

was brutal to his family and even more brutal to his friends.

– Correction: He was a cruel brute of a man, brutal to his family and even more brutal to his friends.

Examples

• We live in an uncertain world—the inner world, the world of the mind.

• We all have problems but we can find a solution, a solution that works, a solution that is equitable.

• She suddenly felt filled with joy—a joy she could not explain but that she gladly embraced.

Checkpoints

Double check that the repetition is a phrase, not a clause. –Wrong: He was part of the older generation,

his generation was born before the Depression.

– Correct: He was part of the older generation, a generation born before the Depression.

Don’t use a period or semicolon where the comma should be. • Wrong: He praises the beauty of his love. A

love that is unfortunately hopeless because it is not mutual.

• Correct: He praises the beauty of his love, a love unfortunately hopeless because it is not mutual.

Variation 9a Formula

Same word repeated in parallel structure

S V repeated key word in same position of the sentence.

Explanation of Ways to Repeat

1. Repeat an effective adjective or adverb in phrases or clauses with parallel construction:

• She has an incredible satisfying life, satisfying because of her career and satisfying because of her family.

2. Repeat the same preposition in a series:• He has known her for many years, before she went

to college, before she was a star, before she won the Oscar.

3. Repeat the same noun as the object of different prepositions:

• This government is of the people, by the people, and for the people.

4. Repeat the same modifying word in phrases that begin with different prepositions:

• Sidney devoted his life to those selfish people, for their selfish cause, but clearly with his own selfish motives dominating his every action.

5. Repeat the same intensifiers:• The baseball game was very exciting, very

enjoyable, but very long.6. Repeat the same verb or alternative forms of

the same word:• In order to survive in war, a person needs training, a

person needs courage, and, most of all, a person needs luck.

Examples

• If you have unrealistic dreams, you may need to find other goals, other desires.

• Venice presents great gifts to the visitor—great history, great art, great crafts.

• His greatest discoveries, his greatest successes, his greatest influence upon the world’s daily life came to Edison only after repeated failures.

Pattern 10 Formula

Emphatic appositive at end, after a colon

S V word: the appositive (the second naming)

(with or without modifiers)

Explanation

• Withholding the repetition until the end of the sentence builds to a climax and provides a forceful, emphatic appositive that concludes the sentence and shouts for attention.

• Colon marks a full stop – Use only after a complete statement – Anticipates an explanation

Examples

• Her room contained a collection of trash: old clothes, soda cans, McDonald’s wrappers.

• When I go to the movies, I need two things to really enjoy it: popcorn and a soda.

• Airport thieves have a common target: unwary travelers.

Checkpoints

Check the words before the colon; be sure they make a full statement (sentence).

After the colon, be sure to write only a word or a phrase—not a full statement.

Variation 10a Formula

Appositive after a dash

S V word — the appositive.

(echoed idea or second naming)

Explanation

• Instead of colon, use a dash.– Dash almost always precedes a short

climactic appositive– Colon generally precedes a longer appositive

• Second naming is usually climactic or emphatic

Effects of Punctuation• Adjusting to a new job requires one quality,

humor.– (common usage but not emphatic)

• Adjusting to a new situation requires one quality: humor.– (significant pause, but not so dramatic)

• Adjusting to a new job requires one quality above all others—a sense of humor.– (dramatic signaling)

• Adjusting to a new job requires one quality: the ability to laugh at oneself. – (more dramatic, more stylistically complete)

Examples

• Many traditional philosophies echo the ideas of one man—Plato.

• Pandas eat only one food—bamboo shoots.

• These big burgers taste great but they have lots of calories—over 1,000.

CheckpointsThe second naming must be a true appositive

• Poor: One class of teenagers can be labeled—students.

• Correct: One label would fit almost any teenager—student.

A dash cannot separate complete thoughts.• Wrong: Mary Shelley spent a full year at Marlow

writing Frankenstein—her monster has survived better than some of her husband’s poems.

• Correct: Mary Shelley spent a full year at Marlow writing Frankenstein—creating a monster that has survived better than some of her husband’s poems.