Sensual Fetishes vs. Kinks: They’re Not the Same

By John Dugan

Those who have particular tastes when it comes to lovemaking often identify as “kinky” or as “fetishists.” But these two words actually have significantly different meanings and shouldn’t be used interchangeably. A man would do well to know what his sensual desires and preference are, since a gratifying intimate life is imperative to overall physical, mental and manhood health. Here, men can learn how to identify their tastes as either sensual fetishes or kinks, as well as some tips for communicating desires to partners and fulfilling them safely.

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• Fetishes• A fetish is chiefly characterized by the fact that the individual needs

something – whether during the sensual act or simply in his imagination – in order to get off. That thing is often either an object or a body part. Feet, leather and heels are common fetishes. A man may need, for example, to be in contact with feet, to be looking at them or at least to be picturing them in order to achieve sensual gratification.

• • Many people have fetishes, so they aren’t exactly abnormal. And,

generally, they are not unhealthy. There are some more bizarre fetishes, such as wearing diapers and acting like an infant, attraction to teddy bears and the idea of being swallowed by someone whole or devouring another whole. These may be a bit harder to sell to a partner, but may be perfectly harmless.

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There are some fetishes that can get people into trouble along with harming others if they are put into practice. These include frotteurism, or rubbing up against someone without their consent for sensual stimulation, attraction to animals and excitement by inflicting pain on animals. Acting out these fantasies would be illegal and immoral. People with such fetishes must rely on imagination or the creation of scenarios with a consenting individual that approximate the experience that entices them. Seeking therapy may help individuals safely manage these fetishes.

Since the fulfillment of a fetish, either in mind or in action, is necessary for a person to experience sensual release, it’s important to find partners who are open to them. Unfortunately, many individuals feel shame surrounding their fetishes. Bringing one up to a partner only to be met with derision, disgust or fear is not good for anyone.

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• Kinks• • Unlike a fetish, a kink is something that a person enjoys very much

sensually, but that the person doesn’t need in order to achieve sensual satisfaction. Some kinks may have the same objects as fetishes, such as leather or feet, but the desire is less intense. Acts like hair pulling, spanking, dirty talk and consenting voyeurism or exhibitionism are other examples of kinks.

• • Though the fulfillment of a man’s kinks is not necessary for sensual

satisfaction, he may find them important enough to merit seeking out a partner open to exploring them. Incorporating one’s kinks may be the difference between okay/good lovemaking and fantastic lovemaking, and everyone deserves to have the latter.

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• Manhood Upkeep• • Once a man is in a relationship in which his kinks or fetishes can be

realized, he may experience a spike in sensual activity. There is very little to complain about there, but a man may notice that his rod is often sore from the frictions involved with lovemaking, and possibly from fulfilling his kink or fetish if an element of roughness is involved. It’s important for men to keep their tools in peak condition so they are ready for action when the opportunity presents. Using a quality male organ health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) is a good option for guys who could use some extra moisture in the region. This product contains Shea butter and vitamin E, which both work to hydrate the skin in different ways. Tag team chafing, dryness and soreness with a top-notch skin care product.

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