section b rc river city press akotan - e...
TRANSCRIPT
1. You will not be invited to Charles Man-son’s wedding.
2. A popular show will appear on Yanktoncable access called “Drunk Police Record,” inwhich inebriated people are filmed re-enact-ing entries in the police record published inthe Press & Dakotan. Or would that be redun-dant?
3. The Minnesota Twins WILL be better in2015. How much better? Well, that’s anotherissue … and painfully relative.
4. Meanwhile, the Kansas City Royals willstruggle to repeat their 2014 performanceand not make the postseason. The cry in K.C.will be, “Wait ‘Til Last Year!”
5. Anchovies will still suck.6. Hey, “Back to the Future II” took place
in 2015! Alas, it will occur to you (probablysometime later today) that this doesn’t lookeven remotely like that movie.
7. CNN will fixate on something.8. You’ll finally appreciate just how great
Jimi Hendrix was.
9. Trailers for the new“Star Wars” movie will besensations — perhapsmore so than the movieitself.
10. LeBron James will give Cleveland agreat winter of basketball — but San Antoniowill win the NBA title again.
11. There is going to be a change on theYankton City Commission.
12. The astonishing “Boyhood” will winthe Academy Award for Best Motion Picture.
13. Dry conditions will hinder crop yieldsin 2015.
14. The 70th anniversary of the end ofWorld War II will be a time of great reflectionand honored farewells.
15. Also, 2015 will mark the 150th anniver-sary of the end of the Civil War and the as-sassination of Abraham Lincoln. In anunrelated note, legal battles over the display-ing of the confederate flag will skyrocket.
16. Speaking of the Civil War, this yearmarks the 100th anniversary of the movie “ABirth of a Nation,” an epic silent film — andthe all-time box office king until “Gone WithThe Wind” came along in 1939 — that bla-tantly glorified the southern cause. Specialscreenings of it will cause controversy insome places.
17. Welcome back to the family of planets,Pluto!
18. There will be lots of talk from lawmak-ers about South Dakota finally acceptingMedicaid expansion. The actions won’tmatch the talk, however.
19. (EDITOR’S NOTE: This was going to bea humorous prediction based on SouthDakota’s much-ridiculed “Don’t Jerk AndDrive” auto safety campaign. Unfortunately,we couldn’t come up with anything that wasentertainingly printable or nearly as funny aseither that “Daily Show” segment a couple ofweeks ago or the actual campaign. So, justdrive carefully out there, OK?)
20. At least one crucial court decision willthreaten to undercut the Affordable Care Act,or Obamacare. However, public opinion willfavor fixing the health care program insteadof scrapping it.
21. Traveling on Fourth Street during theHighway 50 reconstruction project in Yank-ton is going to be an adventure. But not likean “Indiana Jones” kind of adventure — morelike a root canal-type of adventure.
22. South Dakota’s gay marriage ban willgo down in court.
23. The World Youth Archery Champi-onships will be a big success for Yankton.
24. Grab the kids for a trip to see “SouthPark on Ice.” (Spoiler: The “I Am Lorde” num-ber will be epic.)
25. Opera karaoke will become a thing.26. “Dumb and Dumber To” will rake in
many honors at the Razzies.27. The Napa Junction issue just won’t go
away, will it?28. With Christmas sales and promotions
moving increasingly earlier in the season,someone will revive the old Franklin Roo-sevelt proposal of moving Thanksgiving upto the third week of November …
29. ... but of course, in the scheme of theChristmas marketing season, that won’t mat-ter at all.
30. Another movie with the “Minions” = An-other tsunami of “Minions” merchandising.
31. The matter will be settled once andfor all: It’s Veterans Day, not Veteran’s Day orVeterans’ Day.
32. Since Yankton has seen someeating/food establishments that used to behere come back, can a return of Lil’ Duffersbe far behind?
33. An attempt to undo the minimumwage initiative approved by South Dakotavoters will fail in the state Legislature.
34. Watching Iowa television channels will
be unbearable as presidential election adsengulf the airwaves.
35. The new “Peanuts” movie will makeyou long for the old “Peanuts” comic stripsand TV specials.
36. Coming to the stage: “The WalkingDead — The Musical.”
37. The New England Patriots will top theSeattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl.
38. The drugs will wear off. Trust us.39. There will be a point in 2015 when
Press & Dakotan sports editor James Cimbu-rek’s office is actually clean. It will happenwhen he has to take everything out so thatnew carpet can be installed in the P&D of-fices.
40. You’ll be surprised when you go to theemergency room at Avera Sacred Heart Hos-pital and one of the questions you’re asked isif you have a Hy-Vee Fuel Savers Card.
41. Adrian Petersen will still be a Min-nesota Viking in 2015.
42. The Black Friday madness that over-took Thanksgiving Day in 2014 will recedesomewhat in 2015, as some stores go back to“merely” opening early on the Friday afterthe holiday.
43. The Los Angeles Dodgers will win theWorld Series.
44. Falling oil prices caused by oversup-ply will spark calls to curtail domestic oilproduction in the U.S. But companies willstill want subsidies for exploration anddrilling.
45. A movie project based on the boardgame “Monopoly” will be announced.
46. A movie project based on the tabletopgame “Gnip Gnop” will not be announced.
47. After a long parade of complaints, theschool lunch nutritional guidelines will be re-laxed. And there will still be complaints.
48. The 100th anniversary of the birth ofsinger Billie Holiday will be a good excuse tolisten to her music in pretty much any situa-tion.
49. You will seize upon a comic strip fromeither “Pickles” or “Zits” as somehow totallyin tune with your life at that moment.
50. Microsoft will officially apologize forWindows 8.
51. The Montreal Canadiens will bring theStanley Cup home to Canada.
52. An Asian carp will turn up in the pondat Westside Park.
53. Let’s face it: Disney can pretty muchrule Halloween with its movie merchandis-ing.
54. In the heat of a trad-ing frenzy, the San DiegoPadres will accidentallydeal a player they just ac-quired for a player theyjust traded away.
55. The hostilities between Russia and theUkraine will subside as Moscow’s attentionsare drawn to other headaches, like its tankingeconomy.
56. Sales of vinyl music recordings will con-tinue to climb, making it a rather relevantmedium once again.
57. The Philadelphia 76ers will in all likeli-hood reach double digits in victories. Proba-bly … you’d think …
58. The Badminton Channel just won’tcatch on.
59. No network will bite on the proposednew reality television series, “Bill Cosby Doesthe Darnedest Things.”
60. You’ll take a lime and a coconut andput them both together — and find out thatold Nilsson song was WAY overrated.
61. You will finally seize the day! Unfortu-nately, it will be yesterday.
62. The U.S. economy will show signs ofslowing, as the soft global economy takes atoll here.
63. You will see the funniest televisioncommercial you’ve seen in years, but you willhave no idea what it’s selling.
64. While the international youth archerytournament will certainly be a great draw forYankton, a national cribbage tournament setfor September will also bring a good crowd totown.
65. A Colorado town will make headlineswhen a psychiatrist decides to set up practicein an office that he advertises as “The HeadShop.”
66. You will write something with a pen ona piece of paper, and you won’t even be ableto read it.
67. North Dakota lawmakers will considerconvening in special session to deal with theimpact of plummeting oils prices on thestate’s budget.
68. Yankton’s Memorial Park will smellgreat during Ribfest.
69. We will all really, really, really miss“The Colbert Report.”
COMICS 4B
RELIGION 5B
HOMETOWN 6B
TV LISTINGS 7B
SECTION BPRESS & DAKOTAN
Friday, January 2, 2015
RIV
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Forward Glance: 100Predictions For 2015
RCThe P&D Staff Looks Ahead And
Makes Some Early Forecasts
2015 | PAGE 2B