second supper | vol. 12, no. 12
DESCRIPTION
The end of the world as we know itTRANSCRIPT
the free pressDECEMBER 2012 | VOLUME 12, NO. 12 WWW.SECONDSUPPER.COM
A D i g e s t o f C o u l e e R e g i o n C u l t u r e
The End of the World As
We Know Itthe World As the World As
PLUS: SOCIAL NETWORKING [p 2] | PORCUPINE REVIEW [p 11] | THE ADVICE GODDESS [p 12]
2// December 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free PressFIRST THINGS FIRST
CONTINUED ON PAGE 4
Social Networking
NAME AND AGE: Jen Kulasiewicz, over 25
WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Chanute Air Force base in Illinois
CURRENT JOB: Senior Account Director at Kaplan
DREAM JOB: Fortune cookie writer
lAsT THING YOU GOOGlED: Mini Golden Retrievers
If YOU COUlD lIvE ANYWHERE IN THE WORlD, WHERE WOUlD IT BE? Düsseldorf, Germany. That city is a hidden gem.
WHAT Is sOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEfORE YOU DIE: Fly a Cessna
WHAT Is YOUR BEvERAGE Of CHOICE? Strawberry Powerade
CElEBRITY CRUsH: Ryan Reynolds
WHAT Is YOUR BIGGEsT PET PEEvE? People who park like morons. Leave enough space for another car when you’re on the street and stay between the lines in park-ing spaces. That difficult?
WHAT BOOk ARE YOU CURRENTlY READING? "The Watchmen"
TEll Us YOUR GUIlTIEsT PlEAsURE: Reality TV shows…except "Survivor," more along the lines of "Bad Girls Club"
TEll Us A JOkE: A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
If A GENIE GRANTED YOU ONE WIsH, WHAT WOUlD YOU Ask fOR? An endless supply of fancy sushi whenever I want it served by Aaron Rodgers. If he chooses to feed it to me…that’s cool too.
WHAT ONE PERsON AlIvE OR DEAD WOUlD YOU WANT TO HAvE DINNER WITH? Chris Farley, he was such a goofball and gone too soon. I think the conversation would be incredibly entertaining. Plus, I’m sure he’d order a few different meals and I could sample them all :)
fIRsT CONCERT YOU WENT TO: Highway 101 when I was 6 years old and I wanted cowgirl boots ever since.
WHAT's THE lAsT THING YOU BOUGHT? Packing tape
WHAT's IN YOUR POCkET RIGHT NOW?: A bobby pin, $4.37, and my drivers license
— Compiled by Shuggypop Jackson,[email protected]
TheTop
Newcomers of the year1. New Taste of India2. Kendrick Lamar3. Norichika Aoki4. Elizabeth Warren5. Stein Haus6. The Alabama Shakes7. Legal weed
Things we won't miss when we're gone1. Winter2. Dubstep3. St. Louis Cardinals4. Jeff and Scott Fitzgerald5. Alarm clocks6. "Two and a Half Men"7. Bud Light
“I never thought the end of days would cost me so much sleep.”
Glenn Beck,reviewing a Tim La Haye novel
I’ve taken some weird assignments inmytime,butthiswasthegoofiest.Theedi-tor,generallyagoodguywithapenchantforrealism, even when he reviews beer, askedmetowriteabouttheendoftheworld.“Andmakeitfunny,”headded,asiftotestme. “It’saloser,boss,”Itoldhim.“Wegetitwrong,we’redunces;wegetitright,noonecares.” “Not with our demographic,” he ex-plained,sothatwasthat. “When’sthedeadline?”Iasked,asI lefttheofficeandheadedtowardtheelevatoratatrot.”“It’sallsupposedtogosouthonDecember21st,solet’ssaythe5th.”It’shardtogetinformationonatopiclikethis, especially since the guy who used tohangaroundtheuniversitycampusinadirtyrobethatmighthavebeenwhiteonce,carry-ingasignthattoldustheendwasnearandweshouldrepent,hadmovedeastandtakena job posing for New Yorker cartoons. Butthen I heard through the grapevine aboutsomeskinnylittleguycalledPopolVuhwashidingoutinthebluffssomewhereandfool-ingaroundwithMayancalendars.Likemostpeople I had heard the Mayans predictedthe end would come on the date the bossmentioned,sothisseemedlikethebestleadIhad.Allinall,theuncertaintywasdepressingme.ImeanIhadjustlearnedayearagomybirthdayandFestivusbothfallonDec.23.Ihadplannedoncelebrating,butnow,whoknewwhattoplan?Itwasahardclimb,madeinterestingbyicysurfaces,sharprocksandplantsthatdefend-ed themselves with machete-sized thorns.Therewasapathtofollow,athinroadthatmighthavebeenmadebydeeravoidingtheThanksgiving hunt or by religious pilgrimsmakingalastminuteforaytowardenlighten-ment,likethosetormentedbeauswhofinallythinkoftheperfectgiftfortheappleoftheireye(theone theymet twoweeksago)andrushouttothemallat6p.m.onthe24th.Thepathendedabruptlyinfrontofacave.
HereIfoundaman,oneofthoseguyswhocouldbeanywherebetween35and70.Hewasgrey,withaHoChiMinhmustache,buthiseyes sparkledandhe lookedfit.He satonacampstoolbeforeafirehehadgoing;behindhimthecavewas litteredwithdiscsabout a foot indiameter andcoveredwithoddmarkings.“AreyouPopolVuh?”Iaskedpolitely.“Sheeesh,”heexclaimed.“You’relikethefifthpersontoaskmethattoday.Can’tanyofyougetthisstraight?I’mPaulVue,andonlymynephewcallsmePoppy.PopulVue’stheMayanbook,ortabletorscroll,orwhatthehellever,theyusedtowritetheirhistory.”“ItsoundslikeyouknowsomethingabouttheMayans,evenifyouaren’tone.”“Yeah,I’vestudiedthestuff,mainlyoutofself-defensefromallyoupeople.”“Sothat’swhythediscs?Todomockupsofthecalendar?”“No,actuallythey’repizzaplatforms.Jimistheonlyrestaurantthatdeliversuphere.”“Soistheworldgoingtoendonthe21st?”
“Whoknows?But theMayansnever said itwould.Theyonlyhadsomanyblockstoplaywith,sowhentheyreachedtheendtheyhadtostartanewcalendar.Thereneverwasanyphysicalcliff.”“Didyousayfiscalcliff?”“No.Physicalcliff,withthreesyllables.It’stheendofeverything,whereeveryatomisshatteredandmatter turns somethingelse.Nothingwe’drecognize.”“Prettyscary.” “Yeah, I guess so, but it’s nothing theMayans talkedabout.All they saidwasonecalendarwouldendonDecember21,2012,and another calendar would begin on the23rd.”“WhataboutDecember22nd?” “Adayofrestmaybe,orcontemplation.Maybe they needed it to reorganize. Youwanttoknowabouttheeveofdestruction,gotalktoBarryMCGUIRE,orbetteryet,gotalktotheguydowntownandtalktotheguywiththeWebsite.”“HowdoIfindhim?“JustgotothecornerofThirdandPearland walk south until you hear this strangesound.” “There are a lot of strange sounds onThirdStreet.”“Don’tworry.You’llknowit.It’shuman,butnotquite.”
I thankedhimandas I left I thought Iheardhimsay,“Goodluckwiththesearch.”ThirdStreetwasasnoisyanddistractingasIthoughtitwouldbe.IwasabouttogiveitupwhenIfinallyheardit:somethingbe-tweenamoanandagrowl, the soundofacornered,dyinganimalandawaterboardedhuman.Itseemedtobecomingfromasortofrecessedsectionoftheredbrickwallthatdefinedtherestoftheblock.Morepreciselyit came from behind the space protectedfromthestreetbyagreenmetaldoor,whichwasinturncoveredwithcrudelymadestick-ers advocatingdoingnasty things to liber-alsorexpressingmanlyloveforthecurrentgovernor,whileotherscalledforthepublicwhippingofteachersorwaragainsttheMus-limcurrentlymasqueradingasthepresident.Thewholescenewasalittleintimidating,butI’maprofessional,soIknockedonthedoor.Thenoise stopped, thedooropenedacrack,andavoice that suggested time inacorndryersomehow,askedwhatIwanted.When I explained I wanted informationabouttheendoftheearth,heletmein.Theroom was littered with a large assortmentof curiousbutunrelatedobjects, the innerworkings of one of those old consul televi-sions,lackingthescreen,partsofamixmas-ter,agreensliceofwhat seemedtobe theenginecoverofaJohnDeeretractor.Themaninchargeofthismesswassome-thingofamiscellanyhimself.Heworeworkpants that seemed freshly ironed, a whitedressshirt,acorduroysportsjacketwiththewalerubbedoffinseveralplaces,andabase-ballcap.He introducedhimselfas JimDe-Baye,independententrepreneur.“Icollectthisstufffromeverywhere,”ex-plained, “practically free, because peoplethinktheydon’twantit.Butthensomebodywants an old gearbox or toaster, and theycontactme.Almostallmybusinessinonline.Itkeepsmegoing."Ifyouwantedtobuyanyof his stuff, you could contact him on thelate-modeliPadhedoodledonaswetalked. WhenIaskedhimwhatheknewabouttheendoftheworld,hewasclearlyirritated.“Whosentyou?ThatlittleMayancreepuponthebluff?ThatMayancalendarstuffhe’speddlingisallcrap.Firstallit’sallpagansu-perstition,andhe’sprobablyillegalanyway.Somebodyneedstocheckhispapers.”I’manewsguy,soIdidn’tthinkitwasmy
By Bob TreuContributing editor
12/21/12 ... Cliff Notes for the end
Second Supper | The Free Press December 1, 2012 // 3THE BLUFF
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the free pressHippies bummed, psychedabout end of world A poll of the nation’s hippies thismonth—widelyconsideredtobethefinalmonth in the history of the world — re-vealedanaurathatwasequalpartsbummedandpsyched. “Aww, man, I loved living my life ac-cording to the 13-moon calendar, but it’sjustsoheavyrealizingit’sallgoingend,”ex-plainedoneViroquahippiewhowouldonlygivehisnameasCirrus. Whilemanyhippiesexpressedagener-allyharshedmellowattheimpendingapoc-alypse, others are making the most of theendofdays,believedtobeDec.21,2012. “Dude-brah,Ican’twaitforthistotallybitchin end-of-the-world gathering,” saidLake Tahoe hippie Fast Trevor. “I alreadylove the solstice, but when you combinethat with authentic Mayan moon cycles,man, I’m never going to party like thisagain!”
Bold congressional leadershipaverts 'Apocalypse Cliff' With the very future of planet earthhanging in the balance, members of theU.S.Senate,HouseofRepresentativesandWhiteHousereachedanunanimousagree-ment to avert the so-called “ApocalypseCliff.” HousespeakerJohnBoehner,R-Ohio,announced the deal during a sparsely at-tendedpressconferenceThanksgivingDay:“We had nothing but bipartisan supportonthisbill, inwhichbothpartiesreachedacross the aisle and united in saving our-selvesfromwhatwillsurelybehellonearthcomeDec.21.” The bill allows representatives of thefederal government to flee earth in giantspacearks,whichwillallowthemtosurviveand continue the delicate process of gov-erning from outside the atmosphere. Fol-lowingaplanlaidoutbyDr.Strangelovein1964,eachgovernmentofficialwillbegiven10matestorepopulatetheplanet. Sen.JohnMcCain,R-Arizona,praisedthe strong leadership from the WhiteHousethatmadethepassingofthebillpos-sible.“IwouldliketopersonallythankthepresidentforagreeingwithallmembersofCongress that it would be most beneficialtoeveryAmericanifwesafelywatchedthedestructionofearthunfoldfromasafedis-tanceinspace,”hesaid. Atpresstime,newSen.ElizabethWar-ren,D-Massachusetts,wassafelyensconcedwithinthe1percent.
Cute girl at the coffee shopstill not asked out Despitethependingendoftheworld,area barista Amy has still not been askedoutbyPeteNewfield. “ThatAmyissuchacoolchick,always
wearingtheseretroT-shirtsandplayingthemostinterestingmixCDs,”saidNewfieldina hushed-tone interview near the back ofJulesCoffee.“I’vealwayswantedtoaskherout for Vietnamese noodles or open micnightorsomething,butIguessit’sjustnotinthecards.” Although he is aware of the pendingapocalypse, Newfield, an organic farmer,said he was just too nervous to ask outAmy,lastnameunknown,whohasworkedatJulessinceat leastthebeginningof lastsummer. “She’sprobablydatingaDJoraskate-boarderanyway,”Newfieldsighed.
Man dies like he lived: stoned,watching 'Boardwalk Empire' Area Man Jeffrey Randell, of Hokah,Minn.,toldfriendsandlovedonesthatheplansonspendinghislastnightonearthashehasspentallpreviousnightsforthelastsix months: completely blazed and watch-ingrerunsof"BoardwalkEmpire." “At this point in my life, I feel that Ihave really hit my full potential,” Randellannounced to his cat, Andromeda, as hepacked another bowl. “I mean, watchingNuckynavigatearoundlifeduringProhibi-tionissomethingIcantotallyrelateto,andwanttobewitnessingasthismortalcoilfi-nallyfallsaway.” RandellthenproceededtospillquesodipalloverhisT-shirtwhilesirensbegantowailoutside.
Oxford University, Logan MiddleSchool to join Big Ten Eagertoroundoutitsconferenceex-pansionbeforetheendoftime,theBigTenonFridayannounced twonew institutionsthat will be joining the league before theendofthemonth:OxfordUniversityintheUnitedKingdomandLoganMiddleSchoolonLibertyStreet. JoiningthemintherevampedBig10areRutgersUniversityandtheUniversityofMaryland,obviousrivalsinthe106-year-oldconference of Midwestern land grant uni-versities. Thenewschoolsareexpectedtobringincreased television ratings, lyric poems,andCombossnacks. Said Big Ten chairman Jim Delany,"We'reallleadershere.Unlessyou'realeg-end.Orunlessyou’reanadolescent.Hell,wedon'treallycare." Uponhearingnewsoftheconferencerealignment,LasVegasoddsmakersimme-diately favored the Logan Middle SchoolPanthers by three points over the visitingOxfordSportingBlue.
Dogs, cats living togetheras the end draws near Local sources reported mass hysteriathisweekwithdogsandcatslivingtogether. AccordinglytoDr.RayStantz,thiscity
isheadedforadisasterofbiblicalpropor-tions. When asked to clarify, Stantz indi-catedrealwrath-of-God-typestuff,“fireandbrimstonecomingdownfromtheskies,riv-ersandseasboiling!” Whenhealsoexplainedthiscouldalsomeanyearsofdarkness,earthquakes,volca-noes and the dead rising from the grave,the mayor allegedly responded “All right,allright!Igetthepoint!”
Romney to mirror: I’ve never seenthat man before in my life Former presidential candidate MittRomney gazed into the mirror Mondaymorning and denied ever seeing his ownreflection. “I don’t know who that suave gentle-man with the high cheekbones and well-groomedfolliclesmaybe,buttolabelhimMittRomneyisacompletemischaracteriza-tionofmyappearance,”Romneyreportedlycooedtonooneinparticular. “I have the weather-beaten skin of aColoradowheatfarmer,thesootyfingersofanOhiocoalminerandthedistinguishedjowls of a senior in Boca Raton, Florida,”theformerMassachusettsgovernorboastedtothemirror. Beforeboardinghis6a.m.flight,Rom-neyalsodeniedenjoyingyogurtwithfreshblueberries, the Wall Street Journal edito-rial page and his favorite monogrammedsilkpajamas.
CNN begins casting2016 election Intheaftermathofagrippingseasonfinalethatattractedmillionsofviewersandlucrativepoliticaladvertisers--andindefi-ance of the doomsday lobby, CNN execu-tivesleakedtheir2016castingplans. “Oh, Rubio, that handsome Latino,he’s in for sure. And Nikki Haley — heygirl!” senior vice president of national af-fairsThadDelaneysaidonWednesday.“Butno Biden, he’s just so 20th century. AndPawlenty?Yeah,likehe’lleverbeatrendingtopic.” Industry observers have praised Del-aneyandhiscounterpartsatFoxNewsforcasting a compelling 2012 race that’s be-comeamust-seeeventfordemocracyinsid-ers. Inparticular, thenewsnetworkshavebeenonavictorylapsinceanointingPaulRyan, a toned and intellectual but littleknownWisconsincongressman,tobecomeAmerica’sNextTopPoliticalStar. “It’s too bad Paul and Mitt couldn’tpullthisoneoff,”Delaneysaidinamomentofself-reflection.“ItwouldbeashameifweonlygetPaulforoneseason.It’dbeliketheBenStillerShowofpresidentialtickets.” Delaneythenscrolledrapidlythroughhis Blackberry before pausing with raisedeyebrows. “How old are those Bush twinsagain?”
Th is is the end, beautiful friend
If it isn't the end, you can still visit us online at www.secondsupper.com and follow us on Twitter
By Second Supper Staff
4// December 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free PressTHE BLUFF
ON THE COVER: Clockwise from top-center: Mitt Romney, Lindsay Lohan, Chris Brown, Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, Psy, Barack Obama, Todd Akin, Herman Cain, Paul Ryan, Kim Kardashian, Honey Boo Boo, David Petraeus.
1. Ice fish the Black River—Itcouldbealong,lonely,bor-ingapocalypse.Betterstartpracticing.2. See a play at the La Crosse Community Theatre—TheirnewdigsarelikeourChitzenItza.3. Run for mayor—There’savacancy.Anditsuredidn’tlookthathard.4. Occupy Pearl Street —Withtherestofthe99%.5. Play broomball—MightaswellgooutinthemostUp-perMidwestwaypossible.Whocaresifyoufractureacoc-cyx?Onlyacouple-weekbedrest.6. Return your library books—It’sbesttogooutwithacleanconscience7. Like Peachez—OnFacebook.Onthesidewalk.Every-where.Thatgirl’sgotswag.8. Leave—Viaourgorgeousnewtransitcenter!9. Drink a personal Fishbowl—Justmakesureyourfriends
pointyouinaneastwarddirection.10. Watch the Aquinas vs. Onalaska game—SouthwesternWisconsin has two of the greatest high school basketballplayersinthecountry.Nicelyplayed,Mayans.11. Spend an entire day at Coney Island—Get thereat7a.m.Stayuntilclose.It’s thenearestthingwehavetoarollercoaster.12. Explore Oehler’s Cave — Well, the world’s ending.Supposewecanfinallyletyoureadersknowwherethecaveis,right?…Nah.Findityourself.13. Make a cameo on that Show Choir reality show—Leavea record for the post-apocalyptic alien race that will nodoubtbecaptivatedbyVH1.14. Throw a kegger on the bluff —It’stheendoftheworldasweknowit!Partylikeit’s1999!Or1977!That’sjustwhatwedo!
15. Visit the Shrine of Guadalupe—Thisisalwaysagoodidea,evenifit’snotend-times16. Play Adam Bissen’s Popcorn Tavern Trivia—It’salsoimportanttodiehumble.17. Order every beer at the Bodega—It’stheendoftheworld.Whynotsplurgealittle?18. Curl!—Cuzthereain’tnopartylikeabonspielparty!19. Take a drive; warn the Amish—Althoughthey’veneverseenthemovie“2012,”theyprobablyhaven’tmethippieseither.20. Send us hate mail—Wewanttogooutthewaywecamein,pissingoffthisentirecity.([email protected])20.12. Eat the Unk’s Mess at Marge’s on Rose—Ormaybejust12percentofit.
12 things to do in La Crosse before it's too late
ENDCONTINUED fROM PAGE 2
businesstocorrecthim.InsteadIasked,“Sotheworld’snotending?We’rejustbeinganewcycle?”“Hellyes,theworld’sending.Aswespeak,we’reonlyinchesawayfromthefiscalcliff.”Igavehimmymostknowinglook,aneye-winkthatsaidIwasinonit,andsaid,“Youmeanthephysicalcliffofcourse,thethreesyllableone.”“Nosir,Imeanthefiscalcliff,theeconom-iccollapsethat’sgonnahappenonaccountofthislastelection.Wearedoomed.”“YoumeantheworldwillendifthePresi-dentandCongresscan’tagreeonadebt-re-ductionprogram?”“It’sallthereinscripture,ifyouknowwhattolookfor.Thisisjustthebeginningofendtimes,whichwilltakeyearstoplayout,theeconomic collapse followed by worldwidechaosandwar.AndIgottasay,thebirthersweren’twrong,butwhocares?Itdon’tmat-terwhere theanti-Christ isborn.After thiselection,myadviceisbuyalltheSpamandammo they’ll sell you and hunker downsomewhere.It’sgonnabenasty.”Itookoutmynotepadandpretendedtobetakingnotes. “Myself, I’m lookingat anotheroption.I’mplanningtomovetooneofthesecessionstates,Texasprobably.That’swherethey’regathering the most signatures on the peti-tion.OntheotherhandtheygotGovernorPerry to deal with. He’s way too moderateandwon’tgoalongwithit,soI’mlookingatotherstateswherethesecessionmovementis takingoff,maybeSouthCarolinaorMis-sissippi.”“Prettymuchthesameplacesthattrieditlasttimeright?”“Anyplacewherethere’satrueconserva-tive Republican governor. And where theykeepthebadfolks fromvoting.That’swhywe elected the anti-Christ. Too many badpeoplegottovote.”“That’sbecausetheanti-Christcheats;hewinsbygivingawayfreestuff.“Andtheystoletheelection.Butlikethelast righteous president said, bring it on.Romneywasaturkeyasacandidate,buthe
got one thing right. For a long time we’vebeendividingourselvesintotwogroups,therighteousandthedamnedliberals.Lookatthe map, Bub, you got red states and bluestates.That’sjustgoingtomaketherapturethatmucheasier.”“I’veheardofthat.Howdoesitwork.?” “It’skindofamystery,Iguess.Ifyou’reoneofthegoodpeopleyou’rejustwalkingalongandsuddenlyyourlifteduptothebet-terplace,justlikeavacuumcleanerdoesit.Ifyou’rebadpeopleyougetleftbehindinthevaleoftears.Youdon’tevennoticeany-thing’schanged.Youjustknowsomething’smissing.”“LikeRepublicanmembersofCongress?” “A few southern Democrats too. God’sbeen known to reach across the aisle. Butmainly it’ll be all theMakers, the job cre-atorsthe47percentliveoffof.”“Thenitcouldhavehappenedlongago,right? I mean if you were left behind youwouldn’tknow.”“Youbetterwatchyourmouth,Mr.Smarty-pants. When you’re one of the good onesyouknowit,solooktoyourself.”Well,thatseemedagoodplacetoendtheconversationwithMr.DeBaye.Tobehonest,I hadn’t learned that much about the endoftheworld.Itallseemratheropen-ended,withlotsofroomforerror.Idecidedtoplanfor my birthday and Festivus after all. Andmaybethebosswouldgivemeanextension.Back on Third Street there was plenty ofactivity,andthatcheeredmeup.Thenthatquasi-human noise started again, only thistimeIthoughtIcoulddistinguishalyricaswell: Thisisthewaytheworldends, Thisisthewaytheworldends, Notwithabangbutawhimper.
What's in your bag?Speak Your Mind with Sarah O'Neil
Name: RonAge: 39Occupation: Food servicesA. Just what I wanted! A Marvel Legends action figure.
Name: CarolynAge: 23Occupation: Server at the WaterfrontA. Thee Oh Sees Castlemania. I justsaw them in Chicago!
Name: MarkAge: 25Occupation: StudentA. Three White Stripes 7 inches, only releasedfor RecordStore Day!
Second Supper | The Free Press December 1, 2012 // 5COMMUNITY
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Attheriskofbeingentirelyunoriginal,I’vedecidedtogiveyoutheTarantinopre-sentationofthisreviewbybeginningattheend.Iguana’sMexicanStreetCafé,quitelit-erallyastone’sthrowawayfromtheUW-LaCrosse campus, is thebestMexican restau-rant in the city. And here’s how I came tothatconclusion. From the street, it is striking justhowunimpressiveIguana’sappears.It’salmostasif the owners took the phrase “hole-in-the-wall”andmarrieditwiththementalimageof a cardboard box, but stopped short ofuglybypaintingacolorfuliguana(itactuallylooksmorelikeagecko)onthesideofthebuilding.Fortunately,theinteriorseemslikean apology for the quirky eyesore outside,where the walls are painted a simple darkyellow and the menu is scrawled in neoncolorsonblackdryeraseboardsabovethecounter.Withatotaloffivetables,thereisn’tmuch space for large crowds, but the vibeof Iguana’s is that of a take-out restaurantratherthan“sitandstayawhile.”However,Ifoundmytimespenttheretobeverywel-coming,astheservicewasveryhelpful(and
gorgeous). Perhapswhatismosttellingaboutthequality of the food itself is that I rarely goback to theplaces I reviewwithin aweek’stime but this time found myself draggingseveralfriendsbacksothatIcouldselfishlytrysomethingnew.Themenulendsitselftoreturnvisits,asittouchesuponthemanydif-ferentaspectsofMexicancuisine.Theyalsoknow exactly who their customer base is,as the sectionentitled “HangoverSpecials”willindicate.Butthefoodisfarfromthege-neric,greasyslopthatmostcollegestudentsingestinordertofixhangovers.Itiscreative,well-balanced,fair-portioned,anddelicious. For instance, the fish and shrimp ta-cos are a great example of the cook’s un-derstandingofhowthespicyandsweetdy-namic operates as one of the cornerstonesofMexicancuisine.Thereisagreatbalancebetweenthemangosalsaandthetraditionalpico de gallo that top the quality fish andshrimpinsidethesmallflourtortillas.Again,thisdynamicofspicyandsweetisdisplayedinthechipotlecheesesteakwrap,wheretheonionsandchipotle sauce in thesteakbal-anceouttheheatoftheredpeppers.Bothdishescamewithachoiceoftwosides,wherethe traditional choice of rice and beansstoodoutinparticular,asbothoptionswerepreparedwithtasteinmind,ratherthanassecond-ratefiller. The restaurants that succeed in LaCrosse, the really good ones, succeedthroughword-of-mouthandprimelocation.Iguana’shasthelatter,inspades,anditfeels
Iguana's Mexican Street Cafe1800 State StreetLa Crosse, Wisconsin
DiNiNG Out
By Marcel DunnSpecial to Second Supper
SoDuku
Answers on Page 11
liketheirbuzzhasbeenslowlybuildingsincetheyopenedinSeptember.Beingsoclosetocampus,theycouldhavebeenlazywiththeirmenu, uncreative in the kitchen and stilldonewell,butinsteadtheychosetopursueexcellenceandgiveLaCrosseaMexicanres-taurantthatdarestobeoriginal.
Habitat for Humanity of Wisconsinhasannouncedanewinitiativefortheup-comingholidayseason--holidaylightsrecycling! Habitat ReStores throughout thestate, including the La Crosse ReStoreat 434 Third St. S. will be accepting non-workingornolongerneededholidaylightsthroughouttheholidayseason. “Don’t throw those old strings of lightsaway, donate them to our ReStore,” saidSteveBaker,ReStoremanager.“We’llrecy-clethemandusetheproceedstoassistlowincomefamiliesinourcommunity.” “It’saneasywaytogivebackthisholi-dayseason,”statedSaraKierzek,executivedirector of Habitat for Humanity of Wis-consin,thestatewidesupportorganizationforHabitataffiliates throughout thestate.“Plus,youmaybeabletotakethedonationasataxdeduction.And,you’llbehelpinguskeepmaterialsoutofourlandfills.” Lightswillbecollectedduringregularstorehours, 10a.m. to6p.m.WednesdaythroughFridayand9a.m.to3p.m.Satur-day. The ReStore will be closed on Satur-day,Dec.22,andSaturday,Dec.29. Thestorealwaysacceptsnewandusedbuildingmaterials.AllprofitsgodirectlytoHabitat for Humanity-La Crosse Area forbuildingmorehousesandtofightpoverty.
ReStore will recycleyour holiday lights
6// December 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free Press
THANKS FOR VOTING US
THE BEST(#1) WINGSIN THE AREA. 801 Rose Street | (608) 784-1811
Sports Nut – Your Home for Sports!
Sing your song and don't be ugly.
Thanks La Crosse, for lookin' so fine!
1 1 5 4 t h S t . S o u t h | L a C r o s s e , W I 5 4 6 0 1 | 6 0 8 7 8 2 - 7 6 6 8
L a C r o s s e ’ s F a v o r i t e O p e n M i c
R u n n e r U p F a v o r i t e C o f f e e S h o p
R u n n e r U p F a v o r i t e A r t S p a c e
Sing your song and don't be ugly.
Thanks La Crosse, for lookin' so fine!
1 1 5 4 t h S t . S o u t h | L a C r o s s e , W I 5 4 6 0 1 | 6 0 8 7 8 2 - 7 6 6 8
L a C r o s s e ’ s F a v o r i t e O p e n M i c
R u n n e r U p F a v o r i t e C o f f e e S h o p
R u n n e r U p F a v o r i t e A r t S p a c e
Please support these small businesses, who support us.They are committed to serving the community and its guests, not only during the holiday season but throughout the year, which is one reason they were voted Best of La Crosse.
When doing you're holiday shopping this year, please Shop Small and Shop Local!
Another Tradition in La Crossse since 1931.
Proud sponsors of the Oktoberfest Maple Leaf & Torchlight Parades!
Homemade makes the difference
OPEN DAILY9AM - 10PM
THANKS!THE PEARL
HOMEMADEICE CREAM
OPEN Daily 9AM - 10PM 207 Pearl St • 782-6655
BestCandyShop
BestCandyShop
ICE CREAM PARLOR
FOR VOTING FOR
Homemade makes the difference
OPEN DAILY9AM - 10PM
THANKS!THE PEARL
HOMEMADEICE CREAM
OPEN Daily 9AM - 10PM 207 Pearl St • 782-6655
BestCandyShop
BestCandyShop
ICE CREAM PARLOR
FOR VOTING FOR
Cut out this ad and bring it into the shop and receive 10% off your next tattoo!
206 4th ST. SouthLa Crosse, WI 608-785-8200
twisted
custom tattooingTwistedskull.com
skullstudios
Restaurant & Bakery
Make It Downtown Tonight!
Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner Carry Out Always Available
Happy Hour 4 to 6 pm Everyday!
www.fayzes.com
4th & Pearl • Downtown La Crosse (608) 784-9548
Like us on facebook!
SECOND SUPPER READERS & FAYZE’S FANS –
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PATRONAGE AND SUPPORT!
- ALL YOUR FRIENDS AT FAYZE’S
ww
w.fa
yzes
.com
| 6
08-7
84-9
548
Sundays: Breakfast Buffet starting at 9am, Chances to win Packer ticket every game!
Sundays: Breakfast Buffet starting at 9am, Chances to win Packer ticket every game!
1914 Campbell Rd. (608) 782-7764
2011
Thanks for putting us ‘on top’ for a third year
in a row.
Winner - Soup Selection & Cheap LunchFinalist - Sandwich/wrap selection
10:30 AM – 7:30 PM Monday through Saturday
The annual holiday gift guide
Second Supper | The Free Press December 1, 2012 // 7
Best Wings | Finalist
All the wings you can eat @ $.50 each Wednesday Nights
716 2nd Ave. N., Onalaska608.781.6800
Open at 6 a.m. daily, seven days a week.Enjoy the view of Lake Onalaska for Breakfast, Lunch, or Dinner along with fantastic sunsets while enjoying
our classics, with some unusual twists, along with your favorite cocktail enjoying sporting events on the big
screen TV’s.
SPECIALSSunday-Thursday
Liver and onions with baconTuesday
$5 appetizers on everything excluding the sampler.Wednesday
WING it Wednesday1/4 pound burgers - just a buck each
FridayBatter-fried cod- homemade beer-batter!
Broiled cod with our special blend of house seasonings.Friday and Saturday
Famous prime ribAll you can eat salad bar
Check out the Moon Light Lounge for intimate parties.
Best Wings | Finalist
All the wings you can eat @ $.50 each Wednesday Nights
716 2nd Ave. N., Onalaska608.781.6800
Open at 6 a.m. daily, seven days a week.Enjoy the view of Lake Onalaska for Breakfast, Lunch, or Dinner along with fantastic sunsets while enjoying
our classics, with some unusual twists, along with your favorite cocktail enjoying sporting events on the big
screen TV’s.
SPECIALSSunday-Thursday
Liver and onions with baconTuesday
$5 appetizers on everything excluding the sampler.Wednesday
WING it Wednesday1/4 pound burgers - just a buck each
FridayBatter-fried cod- homemade beer-batter!
Broiled cod with our special blend of house seasonings.Friday and Saturday
Famous prime ribAll you can eat salad bar
Check out the Moon Light Lounge for intimate parties.
Best Wings | Finalist
All the wings you can eat @ $.50 each Wednesday Nights
716 2nd Ave. N., Onalaska608.781.6800
Open at 6 a.m. daily, seven days a week.Enjoy the view of Lake Onalaska for Breakfast, Lunch, or Dinner along with fantastic sunsets while enjoying
our classics, with some unusual twists, along with your favorite cocktail enjoying sporting events on the big
screen TV’s.
SPECIALSSunday-Thursday
Liver and onions with baconTuesday
$5 appetizers on everything excluding the sampler.Wednesday
WING it Wednesday1/4 pound burgers - just a buck each
FridayBatter-fried cod- homemade beer-batter!
Broiled cod with our special blend of house seasonings.Friday and Saturday
Famous prime ribAll you can eat salad bar
Check out the Moon Light Lounge for intimate parties.
Thank you La Crosse for letting us Rock You for 34 years !
La Crosse’s most decorated establishment!-Runner Up Favorite International Cuisine-
-Runner Up Best Outdoor Dining--Runner Up Best Bloody Mary-
(visit our Bloody Mary bar on Sunday!)-3rd Place for Favorite Bartender - Amy Fellenz-
Stop in today and see why we were voted BEST BURGER IN
LA CROSSELa Crosse’s most decorated establishment!La Crosse’s most decorated establishment!
-Runner Up Favorite International Cuisine--Runner Up Favorite International Cuisine-
(visit our Bloody Mary bar on Sunday!)-3rd Place for Favorite Bartender - Amy Fellenz--3rd Place for Favorite Bartender - Amy Fellenz-
Stop in today and see Stop in today and see why we were voted why we were voted
Stop in today and see why we were voted
Stop in today and see Stop in today and see why we were voted
Stop in today and see
BEST BURGER IN BEST BURGER IN
103 N. 3rd Street, La Crosse, WI 54601
w ww . d u b l i n s q u a r e p u b . c o m
Thank you, voters, for selecting Freighthouse Restaurant
WINNER: BEST STEAKFinalist: Best Fine DiningFinalist: Best Bartender
Mark Wuensch
And to our employees and customers…who are truly
the BEST!
The Freighthouse Restaurant | 107 Vine St . | Downtown La Crossewww.freighthouserestaurant.com
FRESH, DELICIOUS & CONVENIENT
8/31/11
THANK YOU FOR VOTING LINDY'S Best Sandwich & Wrap Selection
3 years in a row!
Free Deliver & Online Ordering! lindyssubsandsalads.com
221 Main St. (Downtown) 304 Sand Lake Rd.
308 4th Street (608) 782-9069
After 40 years downtown, thank you for voting us La Crosse’s favorite
home of live music -- and runner up for best open jam
To show our appreciation, we’re going to provide
you with more great music!
Tue. 7/31: Evergreen Grass Band
Fri. 8/3: The Greatest Story Ever Told
Fri. 8/10: Porcupine
Sat. 8/11: Moon Boot Posse
La Crosse’s Home La Crosse’s Home La Crosse’s Home of Live Musicof Live Musicof Live Music
Test your wits at Adam Bissen's trivia. Every Thursday night at 8 p.m.
Thank you for voting Bodega
La Crosse's best beer selection.
Special congratulations to
Alicia Stoltz, runner up,
La Crosse's favorite bartender.
Thank you for voting Bodega
La Crosse's best beer selection.
Special congratulations to
Alicia Stoltz, runner up,
La Crosse's favorite bartender.
Thank you for voting Bodega
La Crosse's best beer selection.
Special congratulations to
Alicia Stoltz, runner up,
La Crosse's favorite bartender.Thank you for voting Bodega
La Crosse's best beer selection.
Special congratulations to
Alicia Stoltz, runner up,
La Crosse's favorite bartender.
114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111114 5th Ave N | La Crosse, WI 54601-3309 | (608) 782-2111
Voted Best Cocktail Bar Best Jukebox
Favorite Bartender–Jason LaCourse To help bring balanceto your life, go toBalanceYour7.comevery day!
The 7 wonders of your world
Best Pizza in La Crosse212 Main Street | Downtown La Crosse
(608) 78 AMORE [608-782-6673]www.katespizzaamore.com
Best Fine Dining1810 State St | La Crosse, WI 54601
(608) 784-3354www.katesonstate.com THANK YOU FOR VOTING US
BEST ART PLACE!
FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK! www.facebook.com/politospizza
FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK! www.facebook.com/politospizza
FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK! www.facebook.com/politospizza
shopkickshoes.com
Gift Certificates. Free Gift Wrap. Free Parking. Open Everyday.
What more do you want?
8// December 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free PressTHE PLANNER
DecemberThe Month in Preview
music | entertainment | theater | fine arts holiday parties | cabin fever | christmas things to do | silent nights | winter sports
Dec. 1–31 ALL OF THE LIGHTS!
@ Riverside Park
The La Crosse holiday season would be a whole lot darker if it wasn’t for the yearly Rotary Lights display at Riverside Park. Now in its 18th year, this tradition has only gotten brighter with time. Each night until New Years Eve, more than 2.5 million lights will transform the park into a magical electric wonderland. Also, Santa’s reindeer will be vacationing there until the day before Christmas Eve, their big day. Many other fun events such as free family hayrides on Dec. 4, 11 and 18 add to the magic. A 5k run will also be held on the 11th at 4 p.m. Visit www.rotarylights.org for information on other events and treats. The only thing that would make this experience brighter would be a slight dusting of snow. Be sure to bring your own energy in the form of perishable food items or a cash donation for the Hunger Task Force. Lights go on each night at 5 p.m.
Sat., Dec. 1 & 15DUDE, WHERE’S THE MARKET?@ The EcoPark
Due to the noticeable coldness of this time of year, the La Crosse farmers’ market, which is typically held at Cameron Park, will be moved indoors to the EcoPark for the comfort of vendors and shoppers alike. There are still
plenty of goodies on sale around this time of year, all from local growers, producers and artisans. And when you’re done gathering the goods, take a look around the EcoPark, or get out and walk the wintry marsh trails (snowshoes will be available for rent if there happens to be snow). The market runs from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Dec. 1 and 15.
Dec. 1 & 2 OLD-SCHOOL X-MAS@ Norskedalen Nature & Heritage Center
Yearning to live the yuletide of years long past, Norwegian style? Bundle up your friends and family and head to the Norskedalen Nature & Heritage Center on Dec. 1 or 2 for the 28th-annual Old-Fashioned Christmas. The two days will be filled with an abundance of old-timey sights, sounds, smells, and tastes. The grounds will be specially decorated for the event, and musicians will be playing, food will be baking, and Santa will be waving. Many other fun opportunities await, and you can even ride on a horse drawn wagon to experience it all. The past will be alive both days from 10 a.m to 4 p.m. Admission is $6 for adults, $3 for children. A special family rate is available for $15 (covers two adults and their children under 18).
Tue., Dec. 4PSYCHOSTICK SAYS SANTA SUCKS@ the Warehouse
Apparently Psychostick, the “humorcore” metal band, think that giving gifts to all the children of the world isn’t a very nice gesture. Or maybe they think Santa does these nice things to cover up how much of an asshole he really is. One might wonder if they’ve even considered if Santa exists or not. Either way, Psychostick is embarking on the Santa’s an Asshole tour to spread the sad yet funny news. They, along with fellow bands, Lasting Impression, Asphyxiator, and Rosedale, will be stopping by the Warehouse on Dec. 4 to make people bang their heads and laugh at the same time. It all begins at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $10.
Sun., Dec. 9HOP ON THE “LIGHT” RAIL@ Amtrak Station
It’s too bad the Polar Express doesn’t make a stop in La Crosse. We are, however, lucky enough to be one of the stops for the Canadian Pacific Holiday Train. The train’s cars will be all decked out in colorful lights, which makes it kind of like a moving version of the Rotary Lights. Bands will perform in one of the train’s open boxcars and plenty of cookies and hot chocolate will be served. The Holiday Train’s journey is all for spreading awareness about hunger and giving to local food banks, so be sure to bring some perishable food items to help the cause. Train arrival is set for 9:15 p.m.
Thurs., Dec. 13SING ALONG (SILENTLY) AT THE CABARET@ The Pump House
Come celebrate the great American musical at the Pump House Regional Arts Center. The show will be put on by the UW-La Crosse Department of Theatre Arts and will showcase the many talents of UW-L’s music theatre and performance majors. The ensemble will perform the hits of the greatest Broadway musicals. All the singing begins at 7 p.m. By the way, the show is free, so we don’t want to hear any bah humbugs or excuses for not going.
Fri., Dec. 21THE GOOD (END)TIMES ARE KILLING ME@ The Trempealeau Hotel, Root Note, & Popcorn Tavern
Thankfully, it seems most people would rather party than do any number of terrible things just before the world ends. Good thing there are places willing to hold these last minute pre-apocalypse parties. May we recommend the Trempealeau Hotel, Root Note, or Popcorn Tavern for your End of the World fiesta? In Trempealeau, psychedelic rockers Nimbus will be filling in for the violin players as Earth goes down, and Chef Sam will make sure everyone has a last chance to commit the sin of gluttony. This farewell party starts at 10 p.m. and admittance is $5 (money should be your last concern at this point). At 9 p.m., Root Note’s pre-death funeral party will feature 64 Squares and Lustrous Mud, among others, to make sure the good times keep going until Earth is blown from its orbit. And at the Popcorn Tavern, Moon Boot Posse will take the stage and play until bar time … if there is a bar time.
Psychostick | “Santa’s An Asshole” Tour & Xmas Album
Rotary Lights Display
Second Supper | The Free Press December 1, 2012 // 9THE ARTS
Viterbo University's Black Box The-ater is easily the most intimate theater inLa Crosse. As I walked in, I was struck byhowIwouldnotonlybeseeingashowbutwouldalsofeellikeIwaspartoftheshow.Thetheaterwasaboutthree-fourthsfullforthisperformanceof"Marat/Sade." The play's concept was that the audi-encewasinsidethemindofAmerica.Asthelightswentup,patientsofaninsaneasylumstaggeredaboutthestage.Theywouldtellthe story of the assassination of Jean-PaulMarat, who was played by AJ Porter. TheplaytookplaceduringtheFrenchRevolu-tion,atimewhentherichweregettingrich-erandthepoorweregettingpoorer.Therewashigherunemploymentandagreatpo-liticaldivide.Soundfamiliar? Theasylumpatients'beautiful,uncon-ventional dance served as an interestingbackdrop to this intense story. Marat be-lievedhewastherevolution.OntheotherendofthespectrumwasDeSade,playedbySkylerErickson.Hedisagreedwith the in-mates’criesofinjustice,generallymockingthembysayinghedidn’tcareaboutFrance. The show featured many memorablelines,suchas“Whatareafewlootedman-sions compared to their [the poor] loot-ed lives?” and “If you repeat somethingenough,itcanbebelieved.” As the charismatic narrator (PaigeHauer)buildstotheclimacticassassination,thecastgrowsmoreandmorepassionateabouttherevolutionandangrierabouthowtheir leader,Marat, isnotdoinganything.Finally, Charlotte (Libby Anderson) assas-sinates Marat, ending the play on a tragicnote. The play was incredibly powerful. Iwalkedawaywithasenseofaweandmuchfoodforthought.
Coming up"A CHRISTMAS STORY": Thisistheclas-sic tale, based on the much beloved film,ofthefamilywiththeleglampandtheboywhowantsaBBgun.Ifyouwanttotakea
The MoNth iN TheatreBy Kallie SchellSpecial to Second Supper
The Month in Preview
music | entertainment | theater | fine arts holiday parties | cabin fever | christmas things to do | silent nights | winter sports
Dec. 1–31 ALL OF THE LIGHTS!
@ Riverside Park
The La Crosse holiday season would be a whole lot darker if it wasn’t for the yearly Rotary Lights display at Riverside Park. Now in its 18th year, this tradition has only gotten brighter with time. Each night until New Years Eve, more than 2.5 million lights will transform the park into a magical electric wonderland. Also, Santa’s reindeer will be vacationing there until the day before Christmas Eve, their big day. Many other fun events such as free family hayrides on Dec. 4, 11 and 18 add to the magic. A 5k run will also be held on the 11th at 4 p.m. Visit www.rotarylights.org for information on other events and treats. The only thing that would make this experience brighter would be a slight dusting of snow. Be sure to bring your own energy in the form of perishable food items or a cash donation for the Hunger Task Force. Lights go on each night at 5 p.m.
Sat., Dec. 1 & 15DUDE, WHERE’S THE MARKET?@ The EcoPark
Due to the noticeable coldness of this time of year, the La Crosse farmers’ market, which is typically held at Cameron Park, will be moved indoors to the EcoPark for the comfort of vendors and shoppers alike. There are still
plenty of goodies on sale around this time of year, all from local growers, producers and artisans. And when you’re done gathering the goods, take a look around the EcoPark, or get out and walk the wintry marsh trails (snowshoes will be available for rent if there happens to be snow). The market runs from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Dec. 1 and 15.
Dec. 1 & 2 OLD-SCHOOL X-MAS@ Norskedalen Nature & Heritage Center
Yearning to live the yuletide of years long past, Norwegian style? Bundle up your friends and family and head to the Norskedalen Nature & Heritage Center on Dec. 1 or 2 for the 28th-annual Old-Fashioned Christmas. The two days will be filled with an abundance of old-timey sights, sounds, smells, and tastes. The grounds will be specially decorated for the event, and musicians will be playing, food will be baking, and Santa will be waving. Many other fun opportunities await, and you can even ride on a horse drawn wagon to experience it all. The past will be alive both days from 10 a.m to 4 p.m. Admission is $6 for adults, $3 for children. A special family rate is available for $15 (covers two adults and their children under 18).
Tue., Dec. 4PSYCHOSTICK SAYS SANTA SUCKS@ the Warehouse
Apparently Psychostick, the “humorcore” metal band, think that giving gifts to all the children of the world isn’t a very nice gesture. Or maybe they think Santa does these nice things to cover up how much of an asshole he really is. One might wonder if they’ve even considered if Santa exists or not. Either way, Psychostick is embarking on the Santa’s an Asshole tour to spread the sad yet funny news. They, along with fellow bands, Lasting Impression, Asphyxiator, and Rosedale, will be stopping by the Warehouse on Dec. 4 to make people bang their heads and laugh at the same time. It all begins at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $10.
Sun., Dec. 9HOP ON THE “LIGHT” RAIL@ Amtrak Station
It’s too bad the Polar Express doesn’t make a stop in La Crosse. We are, however, lucky enough to be one of the stops for the Canadian Pacific Holiday Train. The train’s cars will be all decked out in colorful lights, which makes it kind of like a moving version of the Rotary Lights. Bands will perform in one of the train’s open boxcars and plenty of cookies and hot chocolate will be served. The Holiday Train’s journey is all for spreading awareness about hunger and giving to local food banks, so be sure to bring some perishable food items to help the cause. Train arrival is set for 9:15 p.m.
Thurs., Dec. 13SING ALONG (SILENTLY) AT THE CABARET@ The Pump House
Come celebrate the great American musical at the Pump House Regional Arts Center. The show will be put on by the UW-La Crosse Department of Theatre Arts and will showcase the many talents of UW-L’s music theatre and performance majors. The ensemble will perform the hits of the greatest Broadway musicals. All the singing begins at 7 p.m. By the way, the show is free, so we don’t want to hear any bah humbugs or excuses for not going.
Fri., Dec. 21THE GOOD (END)TIMES ARE KILLING ME@ The Trempealeau Hotel, Root Note, & Popcorn Tavern
Thankfully, it seems most people would rather party than do any number of terrible things just before the world ends. Good thing there are places willing to hold these last minute pre-apocalypse parties. May we recommend the Trempealeau Hotel, Root Note, or Popcorn Tavern for your End of the World fiesta? In Trempealeau, psychedelic rockers Nimbus will be filling in for the violin players as Earth goes down, and Chef Sam will make sure everyone has a last chance to commit the sin of gluttony. This farewell party starts at 10 p.m. and admittance is $5 (money should be your last concern at this point). At 9 p.m., Root Note’s pre-death funeral party will feature 64 Squares and Lustrous Mud, among others, to make sure the good times keep going until Earth is blown from its orbit. And at the Popcorn Tavern, Moon Boot Posse will take the stage and play until bar time … if there is a bar time.
Psychostick | “Santa’s An Asshole” Tour & Xmas Album
Rotary Lights Display
By Andrew ChulykSpecial to Second Supper
The Art RuMBa ReviewLinda Levinson / VestigesPump House Regional Arts CenterLa Crosse, Wisconsin
Before I begin this review of LindaLevinson’s work I need to take a momentanddefineforyouthetermMinimalistArt. According to Phaidons Press, The ArtBook, Minimalism is defined as; “abstract,objective and anonymous, free of surfacedecorationorexpressivegesture.Minimalistpaintinganddrawingismonochromaticandoftendrawsonderivedgridsandlinearma-trices;yetitcanalsoevokeasensationofthesublimeandofstatesofbeing.Minimalismcanbeseenasareactionagainstemotional-ism that relieson thebodilyand(mental/psychological)experienceofthespectator.” SoifyouHAVEN’Tputdownthispapertogocleanyourgarageorseewhat’shidingunderthekitchensink,thenpleasereadon. Levinson’sshow‘Vestiges”isanintrigu-ingandsomewhatmystifyingexcursionintowhatisNOTMidwestArt.Collectingemptyphotoalbumsfromyardsalesandfleamar-kets,Levinsonhasassembledauniquecol-lection of “what is not there.” Levinsonstates, “In the ‘Photo Corner Series,’ eachprintreproducesanalbumpage,keepinginplace thosephoto corners that are still ad-heredlongafterthetipped-inphotographshavedisappeared.” Andthis iswhereitgetstricky.Atfirstthe framed imagesyousee look likephotoalbum pages, but are in fact photographsofalbumpages reproduced through inkjetprinting. So now you’re looking at some-thingthatyouthinkisrealbutisonlyafac-simileandthefactthatwhatyou’relookingatonceheldpreciousphotographsofsomeoneslifeexperiencethatarenolongerthereaddstothemystery.So,howdoesonebegintoappreciatethisartwork? Step One: Step back, take a deepbreathandacceptthatyouarenotthecen-
teroftheUniverse. Step Two: Stop pretending that youknow anything about art if you only likelandscapes. StepThree:Lookateachpiecewithoutjudgment.Enjoytheabstractqualityandar-rangement of the photo corners for whattheyare. Step Four: Imagine what is missingbasedonthewrittencluesthatareprovidedbytheoriginalalbummaker. Followingthesefourstepswillallowyoutoenteranotherdimension.That’sthesign-postupahead.You’veenteredtheArtZone. To appreciate Levinson’s work, youmustslowdownandtaketimetoexperiencethe unseen. These works are truly medita-tions,notonlyabouttheabstractpatterningof thephotocornersoneachpage,or thevacanciesleftbehind,orwhatwassavedandthenforsomeunknownreasondiscardedasunimportant,butabouthowyoutheviewerexperience them through the memoriesyouhaveofsimilarimagesandplaces.Itbe-comes a total inward journey that is aboutacknowledgementofthepast. Today’sworldofferslittleintheformof“PhotoAlbums.”Insteadwehavedigitalfilesand memory sticks, (which years ago wererealsticksthatwereactuallycarvedwithim-ages)thatwecandownloadandemailandpost. This information about ourselves hasreacheditsmostephemeralpoint.Throughasimpleclickofamousewedon’tevenhavethechancetobecomeghosts. Levinson’s photos display a simpleminimal purity. The photo corners seemorganizedandyetdisordered.Theyremind-ed me of early video games like Pac Manand Pong, little geometric shapes movingthroughspaceonformulated,butarbitrarypaths.Herworkhastitleslike“Parishasitsaesthetic side,” “First snowfall in our newhome,”and“water+cliffs+mysticair=God,”allwrittenbytheoriginalcomposersofthephoto albums. So please don’t be put offby the lackof recognizable imagery in thisshow.Itisallthere,notinfrontofyou,butinsideyou.
CrossworD ANswers
break fromwatching it on television24/7come check it out at the La Crosse Com-munityTheater,whereyoudefinitelywon’tshootyoureyeout.WHEN: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 7-8, Dec. 13-15; 2p.m.Dec.9andDec.16
"THESE SHINING LIVES" This is a taleoffourstrong-willedwomenduringtheDe-pression-erawhoformfriendshipsatafac-torywheretheypaintnumbersonthefacesofwatches.They learn that thepaint theyareusinghas radium in it,which is slowlystealing their lives. They decide that theywillnotallowfutureworkerstobeaffectedinthesamewaythattheyhavebeen.So,ifyouwanttofindoutmoreabouttheirstoryandambition,headonovertoUW-Ltoseetheplay.WHEN:7:30p.m.Dec.1,Dec.6-8;2p.m.Dec.2andDec.9.
"AMAHL AND THE NIGHT VISITOR":This show is a unique opera in one actaboutaboynamedAmahlwhotellsmanytall tales.ThreekingscometovisitAmahlandhismotheronenighton theirway tomeet a wondrous child. Amahl discoversmanywonderswiththesekings.Atthesametimehismothertriestostealgoldfromthekingforherson.Tofindouthowthisstoryends,comevisittheMuseTheater.WHEN: Contact Vicki Elwood at 608-397-3752.
"THE TWELVE TURTLEDOVES": Catchthe Christmas spirit with a night full oftraditional yuletide favorites, modernChristmas classics, poetry, and dance pre-sented by Viterbo University's The TwelveTurtledoves at the Pump House RegionalArtsCenter.ThismerrymixofTurtledovesinclude Charlie Ward, Aubrey McCarthy,KajsaJones,VasilikiFafalios,MirandaWest,Katie Carney, Jennie Butler, Joe Gay, JoeyMillerandThomasSquires.Theaccompa-nistisSethKieser,andLauraWeberisthestagemanager.WHEN: 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12, at the PumpHouseRegionalArtsCenter.
GroundedSpecialtyCoffee,308MainSt.,inLaCrosseisnowshowcasingartpro-ducedbylocalartistsonamonthlyrotatingbasisinitsCafféGalleria. Many of the pieces will be for sale,however, Grounded is leaving that to theartist,andisarenottakingacommission. Feel free to stop in anytime duringbusinesshourstoadmireattheart.Gazingiscompletelyfree. Stay tuned on Grounded's Facebook(www.facebook.com/GroundedLaCrosse)forupdateseachmonthastheexhibitsbe-gin. FormoredetailsortocontactGround-ed,[email protected].
TheFilmCommissionofWesternWis-consin(FCWW)hasbeencontactedbyaLosAngeles production company regarding afeaturefilm,"Appleton"tobeshotinApple-ton.ProducerGregCibulski said thereareafewremainingrolestocastandcrewposi-tionstofill. Thisisanon-unionshoot,butthepro-ductionhassignedaSAGlow-budgetfeaturecontract. Payforcastwillbe$100perday.Theproductioncompanyanticipatescover-inggascostsforcast,andovernightaccom-modationsforactorswhennecessary.Duetoalimitedcostumebudget,itisexpectedthewardrobecoordinatorwillaskmostoftheac-torstobringsomeoftheirownclothingtoutilizeascostuming. Theshootisscheduledforthreeweeks,
Feb.11throughMarch2.Six-dayworkweekswillallowforSundaysoff.Mostrolescallforamaximumoffourorfivedaysonset. Anycrewmemberswhocancommittothewholeshootwillbegivenprioritywhenhiring.Crewpositionsavailableareasoundteam (mixer and a boom op.), a camerateamandanartdepartmentteam. Potential cast/crew should contactGreg Cibulski directly at 818-903-9597 oremail the production company at [email protected]. Please mention thatyoureceivedthisinformationfromtheFilmCommissionofWesternWisconsin. Availablerolesincludetwoformales35-55yearsold,male30-45,female,30-45,male20-30,female20-30,male50-65,male25-35.
Filmmaker looking for cast, crew in FebruaryLocal art showcasedat Caff é Galleria
10// December 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free PressDIVERSIONS
"Radio Song")24 "The Raven" mono-gram25 Bobcat cousin26 False reason27 Sanctions28 ___ de guerre30 Ursus ___ (brown bear)36 Office machine37 Equally awful38 Alternative to ja39 "I blew it," to Homer40 Big potatoes41 Scary programs44 Shaker founder Lee45 F/X animation46 QVC rival49 Spittoon noise50 Award for a bomb52 Fake a signature55 "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. ___"56 Fat measure57 "The Mayor of Sim-pleton" band58 Saigon soup59 Slip up60 Wrestling victory61 Border org.62 Gangster's sidearm
ACROSS1 Looney Tunes voice Mel6 Proof-ending abbr.9 Petraeus who stepped down as CIA head14 Mushrooms have a weird effect on him15 "Burn Notice" net-work16 Month before febrero17 Advice like "Don't fly so low you crash into the Death Star"?19 Gainesville collegian20 Drift into dreamland21 Stars with a belt22 Cub Scout leaders, in the U.K.26 Like restaurants that serve sushi, pad thai, and 58-down29 Do a medical scan on a British royal?31 ___ Dinh Diem32 ___ Deportes (Span-ish-language channel)33 Moves, in real estate jargon34 Amethyst, for one35 Elected official
straight from a Fox sing-ing competition?39 Not the sharpest knife in the drawer42 In ___ (mad)43 A shot47 ___ Mae Brown (Whoopi Goldberg's "Ghost" role)48 Resort town for video game enthusiasts?51 Honorary flag posi-tion53 Wine agent54 Tinseltown, in head-lines55 Old-school laundry detergent56 Word after wake or Ouija57 Oinker who designed a commercial space shuttle?63 Highway sign64 Start of most John Grisham book titles65 Olympic skater Sluts-kaya66 "___ to recall..."67 Animal pattern on Gateway computer
boxes68 Young accounting partner?
DOWN 1 Bike race with hills2 Rule3 The Diamondbacks, on scoreboards4 See 10-down5 Courvoisier or Remy Martin6 Pound, in British slang7 Unproven ability8 "___ Kapital"9 Junior high in a 1980s teen show10 With 4-down, "Delta of Venus" author11 Putting the kibosh on12 Historic period for blacksmiths13 Palme ___ (Cannes Film Festival prize)18 "___.0" (Comedy Central webclip show)21 ___ the other22 Body spray brand with hot ads23 ___-One (rapper who guested on R.E.M.'s
"Cross purposes"You'll be working at them
By Matt Jones Answers on Page 9
©2012 Jonesin' Crosswords
wE have moved! 444 main St.,
Suite 310,La Crosse, WI 54601
Office hours by appointment onlythe free press
Local Acre Wisconsin Wet HopLakefront BreweryMilwaukee, Wisconsin
The Beer Review
I’m writing this review on Small Busi-nessSaturday,atermIhadneverheardpriortothisyearbutamproudtoseetakeoffavi-raltenetofconscientiouscommerce.TodayistheideologicalinverseofBlackFriday,thatdistinctly American holiday, but consumerawareness shouldn’t be limited to just onedayperyear.Supportingsmallbusinessesisalifestyle—andonethatgoesespeciallygreatwithbeer.ExhibitA:SideNoteBottleShop,alocallyownedcraftbeerandspiritsempo-rium which recently opened at 123 4th St.TheSideNotehaseverythingyou’dwantoutofabeer store—knowledgeable staff, funvibe,freesamples—butthat’snottheonlyreasontospreadyourmoneylocally.Italsocarriesfantasticbeer. Nothing exemplifies the triumph ofsmall business more than the new line ofWisconsin Wet Hopped beer. Coordinatedby the Midwest Hops & Barley Co-op, thisinnovativecoalitionpairsfiveWisconsinmi-crobreweries(SouthShore,BullFalls,Cen-tral Waters, Sprecher, and Lakefront) withfour Wisconsin hop and barley farms, andthe results are remarkable. All five brewer-iesrecentlyreleasedseasonal“wethopped”beers,andthreewereavailablelastweekattheSideNote.Theyallhadtheirfunkyindi-viduality,butmyfavoritewastheLocalAcrefromLakefront. Purchase:22ouncebottleofLocalAcreWisconsin Wet Hop from the Side Note,
$6.99 Style: Imperialpilsner Strength: 7percentABV Packaging: The frontof thebottlede-picts the outline of Wisconsin filled withyellowbrew, toppedwithawhiteheadandfeaturingafloatinghopcone.ThebackofthebottletellsthestoryoftheMidwestHopsand Barley Co-op and how all ingredientscamefromtheBadgerState. Appearance: ThisLocalAcrepourslikeabeer inamagazineadwitharichamberbrownbodyandafoamythree-fingerwhiteheadthatleavesexcellentlacing. Aroma: As far as pilsners go, this onesmellsdecadent.Themaltedbarely,toastedand fresh, dominates the nose. The wet-hopping technique (which employs freshlypickedhops,ratherthandriedpellets)givesoffamustydanknesslikewetstrawoverfruitrinds. Taste: Theflavorcomesonsurprisinglysweet, like pomegranate mixed with a ba-nanapopsicle.Thehopsstandoutbutdon’tdominate,andtheflavoreffortlesslyblendsintoawarm,maltylager.Theheavyalcoholcontentservesthebeerwell,creatinganin-dulgent, balanced brew that’s an inspiredtakeonthestyle. Mouthfeel:Thick,chewy,richandwet—basically,theoppositeatypicalpilsner. Drinkability: Thisbeer’ssogoodyou’dwanttodrinkthewholebottle.Youshouldprobablyshareit,though. Ratings: Nowinitsthirdyear,thisLocalAcreearnsan86onBeerAdvocateandan83onRateBeer,butIbelievethisisthefirstre-leasetobewet-hopped.Thatcouldexplaintheaveragegrade,asIconsiderthistobeofLakefront’sfinestbeers.It’saninspiredtakeonadifficultstyle,andthankstosmallbusi-nesscollaboration,it’spulledoffbeautifully.
By Adam [email protected]
I Like to WatchBy Dean RobbinsSpecial to Second Supper
The Beatles’ Magical Mystery Tour iswidely regarded as a failure, but MagicalMystery Tour Revisited (Friday, Dec. 14,10:30p.m.,PBS)givesitanoverduerecon-sideration. The documentary interviewsPaulMcCartney,RingoStarr,MartinScorse-se,TerryGilliamandthoseinvolvedwiththe1967 project, in which the Beatles filmedthemselves on a surreal bus trip aroundEngland. In retrospect, it’s impressive thatthe band strove to make an avant-gardestatementcapturingthespiritofthepsyche-delicera,ratherthanasafe,polishedprod-
uctthatwouldhaveprotectedtheirmarketshare. (By comparison, think of the stupidromanticcomediesElvisPresleywas releas-ing at the time.) The anarchic filmmakingprocesswasitselfpartofthemovie’smean-ing,incorporatingthe‘60s-stylespontaneitythathadfounditswayintotheBeatles’mu-sic.“WethoughthavinganimprovisedfilmwouldshowthekindofplayfulnessandfreedomwewereexperiencingastheBeatlesatthetime,”McCartneysays. TheBBCshowedMagicalMysteryTouratChristmastimein1967,rightafteranold-fashioned Petula Clark holiday special. Itconfusedandenragedmostofthecountry,andMcCartneyhadtogoontheairdefend-ingamoviewithnoapparentplotortheme. Forty-five years later, Magical MysteryTour looks like a pioneering attempt atcounterculturecinema,influencingthelikesofScorseseandGilliamwith its rule-break-ing approach. McCartney’s contemporarydefenseofthefilmplaces it inperfectper-spective: “Idon’twanttoelevateMagicalMysteryTourtothegreatheightsofMostImportantThings inCinemaHistory.ButI think inalesserway,itdidsetatonethatpeoplecouldpick up and say, ‘Oh, well, if they’ve donethat,wecandothis.”
Second Supper | The Free Press December 1, 2012 // 11
Music DirectoryFEATURED SHOWS
Saturday, December 1stTrempealeau Hotel – Vocal Point, Aric Sampson (G-E-T Holiday Parade) • 7 p.m.Freight House – The Ultrasonic Duo • 7:30 p.m.UW-L Cartwright Center – Swinging Yule-tide • 7:30 p.m.Root Note – Jabob Grippen • 9 p.m.Popcorn – J.J’s Zydeco Paydirt • 10 p.m.
Sunday, December 2ndWarehouse – Rival Summers, Late in the Playoffs, Space Heaters • 6:30 p.m.
Tuesday, December 4thWarehouse – Psychostick, Lasting Impres-sion, Asphysxiator, Rosedale • 6:30 p.m.
Wednesday, December 5thWarehouse – Sea of Treachery, Onward to Olympus, Creations • 6 p.m.Root Note – William Stobb (Poetry) • 7 p.m.Popcorn – 300+ • 10 p.m.Del’s – Colin Marshall • 10 p.m.
Thursday, December 6thTrempealeau Hotel – Mike Munson (Blues) • 7 p.m.
Friday, December 7thFreight House – La Barge • 6:30 p.m.Fat Sam’s – Open Mic w/ Colin Marshall • 8 p.m.Root Note – Mayfield Experience • 9 p.m.Popcorn – Porcupine • 10 p.m.
Saturday, December 8thFreight House – La Barge • 7 p.m.Root Note – All Good Things (experimental folk) • 8 p.m.Popcorn – Simple Rogues • 10 p.m.
Wednesday, December 12thPopcorn – Andy and Joe’s Jam • 10 p.m.
Thursday, December 13thWarehouse – Narrow Hearts, Look I’m Burning, Wretches • 6 p.m.
Friday, December 14thFreight House – Kevin Hall & Mike Stidolph • 6:30 p.m.Root Note – Third Relation Album Release Party • 7 p.m.Popcorn – The Hobo Nephews of Uncle Fran • 10 p.m.JB’s Speakeasy – End of the World Rock Show • 10 p.m.
Saturday, December 15thFreight House – Kevin Hall & Mike Stidolph • 7 p.m.Fat Sam’s – Joe & Vicki Price • 9 p.m.Root Note – Neato Fe Neato, Space Heat-ers • 9 p.m.Popcorn – The Bandsaw Brothers • 10 p.m.
Wednesday, December 19thPopcorn – Terrapin Shells • 10 p.m.
Thursday, December 20thTrempealeau Hotel – Greg ‘Cheech’ Hall • 7 p.m.
Friday, December 21stWarehouse – Guns at School, Sabaoth, Burning Loinz • 6:30 p.m.Fat Sam’s – Open Mic w/ Colin Marshall • 8 p.m.Root Note – End of the World Party feat. 64 Squares, Lustrous Mud • 9 p.m.Popcorn – Moon Boot Posse • 10 p.m.Trempealeau Hotel – End of the World Party feat. Nimbus • 10 p.m.
Saturday, December 22ndFreight House – Dave Sebranek • 7:30 p.m.Popcorn – Innocuous Voodoo • 10 p.m.Trempealeau Hotel – Simple Rogues • 9 p.m.
Sunday, December 23rdFreight House – Runaway • 7:30 p.m.
Wednesday, December 26thPopcorn – Andy and Joe’s Jam • 10 p.m.
Friday, December 28thWarehouse – Local Bands Showcase • 6:30 p.m.Freight House – Nick Stika • 7 p.m.Popcorn – Evergreen Grass Band • 10 p.m.
Saturday, December 29thWarehouse – Local Bands Showcase • 6:30 p.m.Freight House – Nick Stika • 7:30 p.m.Popcorn – Sum Chunk • 10 p.m.
Sunday, December 30thWarehouse – The Disabled, Timeline Trag-edy, 64 Squares • 6:30 p.m.
Monday, December 31stRoot Note – New Year’s Eve Party • 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.Trempealeau Hotel – New Year’s Bash feat. The Far Outs (variety Rock) • 9 p.m.Popcorn – Nimbus • 10 p.m.
WEEKLY GIGS
SundayPopcorn – Innocuous Voodoo (funk) • 10:00 p.m.
MondayPopcorn – Grant’s Open Jam • 10:00 p.m.Del’s – Cheech’s Open Jam • 10:00 p.m.
TuesdayPopcorn – Paulie • 10:00 p.m.Root Note – 3rd Relation Jazz *8:00 p.m.
ThursdayStarlight – Kies & Kompanie (jazz) • 5:00 p.m.Root Note – Open Mic • 8:00 p.m.Popcorn – Dave Orr’s Blues jam • 10:00 p.m.
Send your music schedule for the month to [email protected].
MUSIC
open daily 7 am–10 pm
315 Fifth Ave. So.La Crosse, WI
tel. 784.5798www.pfc.coop
eat fresh!eat local!go co-op!
all are welcome
Followingthereleaseoftheir2009de-but full-length offering, The Trouble WithYou, Porcupine, La Crosse’s favorite indierock trio, is back in action with an incred-ible sophomore release, The Sensation ofBeingSomebody.Asifthebandhadn’tpro-ducedenoughsolidgoldinitstenureasLaCrosse’s top rock outfit, The Sensation ofBeing Somebody continues to show its ex-emplary understanding of the indie/alter-nativegenre,whileexpandingintoexcitingnewterritory. Theopeningtrack“YouGoFirst”kicksoff with traditional Porcupine grunge-pop(that’s a thing, right?), but quickly segues,mid-song, into a sort of early-Foo-Fighters-meets-The-Shins quirky breakdown, andshiftsbackintoacatchyandcleantune.Thefirsthalfoftherecordcontinuesinthisman-ner, with frontman Casey Virock’s catchyvocalsaddinganaddictiveelementtoeventhe band’s most grisly tracks. Virock’s me-lodic range and attitude on “Calendar” isreminiscentofaslightlymorepopversionofJoshHomme(ofQueensoftheStoneAgefame). The following track, “Is It Real,” isanice,chill shoegazeballadthat isa sweetchange of pace before the album’s muchmoreeclecticsecondhalf. Thereseemstobeaninvisibleturningpointintherecordrightinthemiddle,half-waythroughtracksixof12,wherethealbumtakesachaoticandslightlydarker turn.Atthis point the shackles come undone, andthealbumfeelsfreetomoveinalmostanydi-rectionitchooses.“SecondThoughts”startsoff pretty straight forward before eruptingintoamathybreakoutthatclosesinaprettysexyguitardistortionbackground.Thegui-tar fuzz continues into “Pushing Your But-tons,”bleedinginandoutofadirtybasslinethatculminates into themost intensebackandforthonthealbum. Tracks “No Surprise” and “Him MeWith A Smiley Face” are probably moreemotivethananyofPorcupine’spreviousre-leases,withoutbeingclichéormelodramaticinanyway.Thecontemplativeclosingguitar
soloonthelattertrackwouldalmostbecom-pletelyheartbreakingifitdidn’tsoundasiftheampwouldexplodeatanymoment.It’sthesesortofconfusingmixedemotionsthatmake The Sensation of Being Somebodysuchatrulyendearinglisten,andalsogracethealbumwithalastingcharm. “NoSurprise”hasalightpianomelodythat seems to be fighting the tepid guitarfeedbackhiddeninthebackground,whichshowcasesthetwothingsthatPorcupinehasalwaysarguablybeenbestat:controlandre-straint.That’snottosaytheseguysaresomeboringchillwaveactthough;theseelementsjust lend to a more satisfying listen whenthemusicreallystartstogetfrantic.Anyonewho’s seentheseguys livewill tellyoutheyknowhowtotrulyrock. There are definitely layers to this al-bum,soitmaynotbesomethingyoufallinlovewithinjustalistenortwo,but,aswithmostmusic,slowburnstendtobethebest. The Sensation of Being Somebody iscurrentlyavailableonCDatDeafEar,butifyou’dliketotryitbeforeyoubuyit,thegoodgentsinPorcupinearealsonowonSpotify.Ifthat’snotenoughtogetyouexcited,thebandisalsoreleasingtheirnewalbumasalimitededition12-inchLP.
Porcupine will be playing its record release show on Friday, Dec. 7, at the Popcorn Tavern alongside local rock act Day 42 and Milwaukee shoegaze rockers Brief Candles. If you’d like to hear some Porcupine you can pick up The Sensation of Be-ing Somebody, The Trouble With You, or one of the band’s 7-inch releases at Deaf Ear records.
Coulee CutsThe Sensation of Being SomebodyPorcupine
By Jason [email protected]
12// December 1, 2012 Second Supper | The Free Press
$1.75 - Miller/Bud Taps$2.25 Micro/Craft Taps$2.50 Cherry Bombs(7-1am)
$5 Miller Lite/Bud Light Pitchers$2.25 Leinies Bottles (7-1am)
Good People, Good Drinks, Good Times
SUNDAY TUESDAY THURSDAYMONDAY WEDNESDAY FRIDAY$5 Pitchers $2 Bottles of Miller Products (11-4 pm)$2 Corona Bottles$2 Kilo Kai Mixers $3 Bloody’s (7-1am)
$1.75 Rails$1.50 Domestic Taps$3.50 Jager Bombs(7-1am)
$2 Domestic Bottles$2.50 Skyy/AbsoluteMixers$2 Dr. Shots (7-1am)
5 Domestic Bottles 4 $10$5 Micro/Import Bottles$11.50, $7 Micro/CraftPitchers (7-1am)
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Check out our new bottled beer selection!
Onlinedatingislikegoingtoaverysnobbybarwhereeverybodyhastheattentionspanofafirefly.Peopledofindloveandevenmarriageonline,butthosemostlikelytogetluckyarehot22-year-oldwomenjustlookingtogetlucky.Hot40-somethingwomenwillgetdates,butbecauseguystendtogoforyoungerwomen,manyofthosemessagingthemareonefootoutofthenursinghome(iftheyaren’tusingthecomputerinthehome’sActivityRoomtotrollforyoungermeat). Theproblemforanyoneonlinedatingisthattheformat—endlesschoice—isoverwhelmingtoourquaintlittlehumanbrains,accordingtoresearchbysocialpsychologistDr.SheenaIyengar.Althoughwethinkhavingloadsofoptionsisideal,whenpresentedwithmorethanahandful,weoftenchoosepoorlyandarebummedoutafterward,orwefindourselvesunabletochooseatall.So,likearatpushingaleverformorecocaine,evenamanwhosincerelywantsarelationshipandwho’sjustgottenhomefromapromisingdateoftencan’thelpbutmakeabeelineforthecomputer.(There’salwaysanotherone…thousandwherethatlastonecamefrom.Noneedtostopandsmellthe45-year-oldroses.) Especiallyforwomenwhoareover40andphysicallyunderfabulous,amorefruitfulandlessconfidence-eatingoptionthanadatingsiteisagroupmeetupsite
Jenny from the blockedI appreciate that you tell it like it is instead of telling people what they want to hear. You’ve said an online dating site isn’t a very good venue for women over 40 who aren’t very physically attractive. Honestly, on a scale of 1 to 10, I’m probably a 5. My marriage ended last year, and I’m ready to start dating again. Should I bother with online at all?
— Realistic
Likethe24-year-oldpart-timemodelyou’recompetingwithontheonlinedatingsite,youarefemaleandhaveownedswimsuits.Infact,you’dwearthatsametinylittlegoldbikinishe’sgotoninherprofilepic—ifitweresociallyacceptabletogooutonthetowninalittlegoldsleepmask.
The ADvice GoDDessBy Amy [email protected]
likemeetup.comorgrubwithus.com,whereyousignupforgroupdinnersandotheractivitieswithpeoplewhoshareyourinterests.Somegroupshavehundredsorthousandsofmembers,andthecriterionforjoiningiswhetheryou,say,liketocombinetennisandBiblestudy,notwhetheryouhaveawaistthesizeofachewedpencil. Also,online,theriskofhumiliationislowforaguywho’sa5messagingawomanwho’sa9.6(ontheoffchanceshe’sboredwithrichguyswithmovie-starlooks).Inperson,itbecomesclearthathecaneithergohomealonefortherestofhislifeorgoforthemoreevenlymatched.That’swhenhestartstalkingtothenice5ladyonhisright—givingyouachancetosparkleinawayyoucan’tonline.But,allthebetterifyousparkleinsideandout.(Get“StagingYourComeback,”byChristopherHopkins.)Alittlemoneysmearedaroundinthehair,wardrobeandmakeupdepartmentscanbeapowerfulthing.Withoutit,asyouseeinshotsoffamousactressescaughtsansmakeupandgroovywear,evensomeprettystunningwomencanenduplookinglikethey’vetakenabreakfrompickingtheirpimplesinthedoublewidetoduckintothehollerandshootasquirrelfordinner.
Spawn Juan I’m a woman whose online dating profi le
states: “If you have or want kids, we are NOT compatible. Move on. Non-negotiable! I don't care if you think your kids are different. They're not.” Yet, somehow, men with kids read this and still ping me! Are they stupidly optimistic? Horrifi cally lacking in reading comprehension?
— Nobody’s Stepmom
Maybethey’rehopingit’llbelikegettinga6-year-oldtoeathisgreenbeans:They’lljustpoursomeranchdressingonthekidandyou’llsuddenlyfindhimappealing. Yourirritationisunderstandable.Whatabout“Nokids/non-negotiable!”says,“Octodad,I’vebeenwaitingallmylifeforyou”?Theansweris,you’rehot.I’mguessingyouare,anyway.Inthefaceoffemalehotitude,menhaveanincrediblecapacitytorationalize:“Shouldn’thavetomissoutonababejustbecauseIgotsomegirlpregnantinhighschool!”or“You’llchangeyourmindwhenyouseewhatasexybeastIam.” Considertheannoyanceanattractivenesstax,andtrytofocusonthejoysofunparenthood,likehowyoucanspendtheestimated$200Kyou’resaving(bynothavingkids)onwhitecarpet,sharp-edgedfurniture,andhomeschoolingyourcat.
(c) 2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved.
Our January edition of Second Supper | The Free Press publishes Dec. 29. Our advertising deadline is Dec. 21. For information, email [email protected].
THE LAST WORD