searching for mind over matter

7/27/2019 Searching For Mind Over Matter

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Yjnrimgd` Bhr Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr?Jxtrnhrkgdnry Jxpjrgjdijs hb nd Hrkgdnry Ohj

Lnrry Qgdzjl

Ynd Lugs Hagsph


2/143

Yjnrimgd` Bhr Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr?

Jxtrnhrkgdnry Jxpjrgjdijs hb nd Hrkgdnry Ohj

ay Lnwrjdij Qgdzjl

Irjntj Gt Gddhvntghds Uualgsmgd`

Uh Ahx 915=

Ynd Lugs Hagsph, IN 79;59 Z.Y.N.

www.ohyhusgdtjdt.ihc

wwww.irjntjgtgddhvntghds.ihc

Nll rg`mts rjsjrvjk. Dh pnrt hb tmgs ahhf cny

aj rjprhkuijk hr trndscgttjk gd ndy bhrc hr ay

ndy cjnds, jljitrhdgi hr cjimndginl, gdilukgd`

pmhthihpygd`, rjihrkgd` hr ay ndy gdbhrcntghd

sthrn`j ndk rjtrgjvnl systjc, wgtmhut wrgttjd

pjrcgssghd brhc tmj nutmhr, jxijpt bhr tmj

gdilusghd hb argjb quhtntghds gd n rjvgjw.

Ihpyrg`mt 1557 ay Lnwrjdij Qgdzjl

GYAD? 70=-5-7=1;0=2-5-=

Kg`gtnl Jljitrhdgi Rjrsghd GYAD? 70=-5-7=1;0=2-1-1

Nukgh Rjrsghd GYAD? 70=-5-7=1;0=2->-:


3/143

Kgsilngcjr

[mj dncjs tmrhu`mhut tmgs ahhf mnvj ajjd imnd`jk th prhtjit

tmj gddhijdt, tmj `uglty ndk oust nahut ndyhdj jlsj Gvj rud gdth.

[mj imnd`j nlsh `gvjs cj nd hut gd insj Gvj gdsultjk ndyhdj. G ind

nlwnys sny, Hm tmnt wnsdt WHZ gd tmnt sthry! Gt wns shcjhdj jlsj

wmh kgk tmj jxnit sncj tmgd`s yhu kgk, nt tmj jxnit sncj tgcj, gdtmj jxnit sncj plnij! Yh, ansginllyGc ihvjrgd` cy autt.


4/143

Nifdhwljk`cjdts

G wgsm th tmndf Luzjttj @rnvjs ndk Ajlgdkn Fjgd bhr tmjgr dhd-sthp

jbbhrts gd rjnkgd` ndk rj-rjnkgd` jnim imnptjr hb cy ahhf. [mjgr

su``jstghds hd pnigd`, sthry lgdj, ihdtjdt ndk udkjrstndknaglgty

cnkj tmgs ahhf gdth n kydncgi sthry, dht oust nd jd`gdjjrgd`

kgsiussghd pnpjr. Pgtmhut tmjgr jdihurn`jcjdt cy bgrst krnbtwhulk mnvj ajjd cy lnst krnbt.

[mndfs `h th Khrgs Lhrn ndk Cnry Jlgznajtm Qngdjs, Khrgs bhr

mjr jkgthrgnl ihccjdts ndk nssjsscjdt hb ihdtgdugty tmrhu`mhut

tmj ahhf ndk Cnry Jlgznajtm bhr mjr nifdhwljk`gd` tmj vnluj hb

tmj ahhf ns wjll ns phgdtgd` hut gtjcs tmnt wjrj gdihcpljtj ndk

djjkjk th aj rjvgsjk.

Jdrgin Lhvn`lgh kjsg`djk tmj ajnutgbul ihvjr. Cndy tmndfs `h thmjr bhr pntgjdtly jxplngdgd` tmj jbbjits kgbbjrjdt prgdtgd` cnimgdjs

mnvj hd ihlhr ndk bhr nll tmj lgttlj twjnfs smj cnkj gd rjsphdsj th

cy rjqujsts.

Cy tmndfs nlsh `h th Dndiy Iullgds bhr prhvgkgd` cj cy bgrst lhhf

nt mhw n ahhf gs nitunlly prgdtjk. Dndiy wnlfjk cj tmrhu`m Inl Uhlys

@rnpmgi Nrts prgdtgd` prhijss gdilukgd` hbbsjt ndk kg`gtnl prgdtgd`.

[mndfs `h th Inrly Grghd bhr mjr pntgjdt ahhf bhrcnttgd` ns Gljnrdjk wmnt wns djjkjk th bhrcnt n ahhf ndk mhw th ihdvjy wmnt

G wndtjk gd n cnddjr tmnt cnkj sjdsj. Pgtm Inrlys `ugkndij, mnv-

gd` n bgdgsmjk ahhf ajincj phssgalj.

Fylj Khkshd whrfjk kglg`jdtly wgtm cj hd cy wja pn`j kjsg`d,

tnfgd` cndy mhurs th jxplngd mhw tmj wja whrfs, wmy G whulk

wndt th usj tmgs stylj, tmnt pgiturj, ndk tmjsj shbtwnrj thhls. Bhr mgs

jbbhrts G nc `rntjbul.Gk nlsh lgfj th tmndf Ondnfndndk bhr mgs tjnimgd`s ndk `ugkndij

bhr ns lhd` ns G ind rjcjcajr. Mj gs n brgjdk, bntmjr ndk `rndkbn-

tmjr nll rhlljk gdth hdj.

Ndk bgdnlly, Gk lgfj th tmndf Auif bhr udthlk ndk udihudtjk

ducajrs hb gdsg`mts, tjnimgd`s ndk tmj lhvj gd wmgim mj lgvjs mgs lgbj.


5/143

[nalj hb Ihdtjdts

Urhlh`uj

Unrt N. [mj Ytukjdt

>. [mj Uhwjr hb Gcn`gdntghd

1. Cy Gdtrhkuitghd th Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr 9. N @ugkjk Gcn`jry Nkvjdturj

;. Bhiusjk Gcn`js @jt Qjsults

Jxjrigsj >? Yjj gt, Bjjl gt, Jxpjrgjdij gt.

:. Unst Gcn`js Ind Jbbjit tmj Urjsjdt

Jxjrigsj 1? Mgkkjd Kjigsghds

2. Mgkkjd Nitgvgtgjs hb tmj Cgdk

Jxjrigsj 9? Kngly Gcn`gdntghd Ythrgjs

0. Qhcndtgi Kjthurs

=. Mg`mjr Ihddjitghds th tmj Hdjs Pj Lhvj

Jxjrigsj ;? Ihddjitghd th Htmjrs

7. Prjstlgd` Pgtm Gdtjrdnl Irhsstnlf

Jxjrigsj :? Gkjdtgbygd` Irhsstnlf

>5. Ljnrdgd` Yjlb-Mypdhsgs

Jxjrigsj 2? Zdnwnrj Yjlb-Mypdhsgs

>>. Irjntgd` Lnsjr Ymnrp Bhius

Jxjrigsj 0? Lnsjr Bhius

>1. [jstgd` tmj Lgcgts hb @ugkjk Gcn`jry

Jxjrigsj =? Bhhljk ay Gcn`gdntghd

>9. Urnitgigd` Mypdhsgs

Jxjrigsj 7? Yjlb-Inrj

vgg

9

2>1

>:

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15

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91

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>;. N Qjnl [jst hb Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr

Jxjrigsj >5? Ihdirjtj Gcn`js

>:. Zsgd` Gcn`js bhr Mjnlgd`

Jxjrigsj >>? Mjnlgd` Gcn`js

>2. Gkjdtgbygd` [ruj Kjsgrj

Jxjrigsj >1? [ruj Kjsgrjs

>0. Yjnrimgd` Bhr N [jnimjr

Unrt A. [mj [jnimjr

>=. N [ruj [jnimjr Nppjnrs!

>7. Pjll Mjllh [mjrj!

15. Gkjdtgbygd` tmj Ugjijs hb Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr

1>. GdQhnks Gd Nitghd

11. [mhu`mts Qulj Rgarntghds, Pmgim Qulj Uhssgaglgtgjs

19. Imnd`gd` Ajlgjb th Jxpjitntghd

1;. @jdjrntgd` Pgll ndk Ljttgd` @h

1:. N [jst hb Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr gd Mjnlgd`

12. N Bhrcgknalj Bhj!

Jpglh`ujNahut tmj Nutmhr

:0

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>91>99


7/143

Urhlh`uj

G djvjr kgk cnfj gt up tmhsj stngrs.

[mj mhusj wns smnpjk lgfj n Z, n twh-sthry kupljx. Cy bnc-

gly lgvjk khwdstngrs? Bntmjr, Chtmjr ndk tmj bgvj tjrrhrs hb wmgim

G wns ducajr twh. [mj krjnkjk stngrs nsijdkjk strng`mt up brhc

tmj hpjdgd` hb tmj Z. [mjy wjrj hcgdhus. Yudlg`mt ihulkdt rjnimtmjc. Gc dht surj jvjd @hk ihulk rjnim tmjc!

N bngdt lhw brhc hur fgtimjd lg`mts gllucgdntjk tmj lhwjr sgx

stjps, aut nahvj tmnt gt wns lgfj n ank mhrrhr chvgj wmjrj tmj lg`mt

swgtim khjsdt whrf. Wjt, tmj mjrhgdjslhwlyinutghusly pjjrs gdth

tmj knrfdjss ndk tmrhws n qujstghdgd` Mjllh8 N bjw chrj stjps

gdth tmj knrfMjllh8ndk yhu, sgttgd` gd tmj nukgjdij, oust irgd`j,

fdhwgd`fdhwgd`knd`jr gs tmjrj! Gb yhu ind sjj gt, wmy indt smj8Khdt lhhf up tmjrj! yhu sirjnc sgljdtly. Ymj tnfjs ndhtmjr stjp.

KHD[ `h up tmjrj! ahgls up brhc yhur tmrhnt! Yukkjdlytmj mjr-

hgdj sirjncs, ohgdjk ay n sgcglnr sirjnc brhc tmj pjrshd wntimgd`

tmj chvgj wgtm yhu ns yhur `rgppgd` bgd`jrdngls kg` gdth tmjgr bljsm!

Hd tmgs stngrinsj gd tmj cgkklj hb hur mhusj, G usjk th mgkj hd

tmj stjp oust nahvj tmj bngdt `lhw hb tmj fgtimjd lg`mts wmjd wj plnyjk

mgkj ndk sjjf. Zpstngrs lgvjk n cystjrghus whcnd wmhc G djvjr cjt.Ymj wns n chdstjr whcnd, hr nt ljnst tmnt wns mhw G gcn`gdjk mjr.

Kndigd` nt tmj jk`j hb tmj kjchds lngr! Hdj stjp mg`mjr cjndt rgsf-

gd` tmj vgljst hb thrturjs, aurdgd` nt tmj stnfj, pngd ajyhdk ajlgjb!

Hb ihursj, gt ihulk nll mnvj ajjd oust cy gcn`gdntghd!

Gcn`gdntghd whrfgd` wgtm tmj cgdk ind aj nd jxijjkgd`ly phw-

jrbul thhl. Pmnt gs rjnl8 Pmnt gsdt8


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9/143

Unrt N

[mj Ytukjdt


10/143


11/143

>[mj Uhwjr hb Gcn`gdntghd

Cy gcn`gdntghd.Gs gt brgjdk hr bhj, `lhry hr rugd8 Gs gt n `gbt brhc nahvj, n thhl

tmnt ind imnd`j cy lgbj, hr cjrjly n mnvhi-wrjnfgd` thrcjdt8

Fgks nrj nlwnys trygd` th cnfj sjdsj hb tmj whrlk, udkjrstndk

bjjlgd`s, lhintj shcj bhrc hb jxpjrgjdij cnp. G wns dh kgbbjrjdt.

Pmy kgk cy ajst brgjdk nit sh cjnd th cj8 Pmy kgk tmj `grls hd

tmj plny`rhudk trjnt cj sh ankly8 Nc G rjnlly tmnt nwbul8 Pmnt nc

G supphsjk th kh wmjd tmnt `nd` hb fgks stjnls cy chdjy8 Kgkdtchtmjr sjj gt wns cy sgstjr wmh krhppjk mjr bnvhrgtj ihbbjj iup

dht cj8

Jnim hb cy mg`ms ndk lhws wns rjnl ndk dht rjnl. Jxpjrgjdijk

ndk gdtjrprjtjk. Mhw cuim wns cy gcn`gdntghd ndk mhw cuim

tmj whrlk gtsjlb8 G inddht sny.

Aut G kh fdhwtmj whlvjsudkjr cy ajkwjrj rjnl!

Cy twh sgstjrs, hdj yhud`jr arhtmjr ndk G, smnrjk n rhhc khwdtmj mnll brhc tmj krjnk stngrs. Cy arhtmjr Oncjs ndk G smnrjk n

audf ajk, mgc gd tmj uppjr, ljnvgd` cj wgtm tmj lhwjr, wmglj

cy sgstjrs Fnrjd ndk [jss jnim mnk tmj luxury hb tmjgr hwd ajk.

Oncjs wns bhur yjnrs yhud`jr tmnd G ndk rjnlly kgkdt mnvj n iluj,

jvgkjdijk ay mgs wgllgd`djss th jnt cuk ndk whrcs. Cy bntmjr


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| [mj Ytukjdt;

dgifdncjk mgc [rhualj, ajinusj gb tmjrj wns trhualj th aj mnk,

Oncjs wns tmjrj.

Yljjpgd` gd tmj lhwjr audf `nvj cj n kgstgdit nkvndtn`j hvjr

Oncjs. Mj wns nt tmj cjriy hb cy fgifgd` bjjt. [mgs gs inlljk phsg-tgvj nddhyndij bnithr ndk G cnkj surj Oncjs wns tmj brjqujdt

rjigpgjdt hb suim nttjdtghd. Nltmhu`m tmj lhwjr audf bjlt lgfj n

scnll ilhsjt, oust n tjjdsy agt ilnustrhpmhagi, tmj gdihdvjdgjdij wns

hvjrihcj ay tmj ohy hb tmj fgif.

Hur yhud`jst arhtmjr, [gc, mnk mgs hwd rhhc khwd tmj mnll

djnrjr th tmj stngrs, wmgim cg`mt jxplngd wmy mj turdjk hut tmj wny

mj kgk. Cy sgalgd`s ndk G hwj mgc n kjat hb `rntgtukj bhr mndklgd`nll tmj chdstjrs blhwgd` bhrtm brhc tmhsj stngrs nt dg`mt.

Pmglj [gc mndkljk tmj chdstjrs hd tmj stngrs, G mnk th kjnl

wgtm n pnif hb whlvjs udkjr cy ajk. [mj smjjr ducajr hb whlvjs

ndk chdstjrs tmnt ind lgvj gd suim n scnll spnij gs stn``jrgd`6 yhu

whulkdt ajlgjvj gt. G wgsm G mnk pgiturjs th smhw yhu.

Dhw tmjsj whlvjs wjrj scnrt. Gd hrkjr th nvhgk ajgd` sjjd, tmjy

incj hut hdly nt dg`mt aut whulkdt oucp up hd cy ajk udtgl Gbjll nsljjp, tmus dh pgiturjs. Gb tmjy mnk smhwd tmjcsjlvjs jnrlgjr, G

whulk mnvj nljrtjk cy sgalgd`s ndk wj ns n tjnc whulk mnvj anttljk

tmjc th halgvghd! Hb ihursj wgtm thknys tjimdhlh`y, G ihulk gdstnll

n chvjcjdt sjdsgtgvj incjrn ndk tmnt whulk prhvj tmjy wjrj rjnl.

Hur dg`mtly rhutgdj, tmj whlvjs ndk G, wns bhr cj th lgj khwd ndk

try th bnll nsljjp, fdhwgd` bull wjlltmnt tmjywjrjwngtgd`. G nc

lygd` tmjrj khzgd` ndk tmjy stnrt th stgr. [mj burtmjr gdth tmnt krhwsystntj ajtwjjd wnfgd` ndk sljjp G slgp, tmj chrj cy jyjs stnrt th ilhsj

ndk tmj mjnvgjr cy jyjlgks ajihcj, tmj burtmjr tmj khhr hpjds bhr n

pjjf gdth n djw whrlk. [mgs gs n whrlk wmjrj tmj dhdsjdsginl ajihcjs

pjrbjitly udkjrstndknalj, wmjrj cy nrcs bjjl lgfj ljnk wjg`mts, wmjrj

nll shudks ihcj brhc n kgstndij ns gb lgstjdgd` tmrhu`m pukkgd`, wmjrj

cy sthcnim bjjls lgfj G nc hd n bnst krhppgd` jljvnthr. Ns G slgp gdth

tmgs whrlk, tmj whlvjs ajihcj nitgvj. G ind bjjl tmjgr mht arjntm hd cynrcs6 G mjnr tmjgr dngls sirntim tmj blhhr.

Undgi sjts gd. Nrj ndy hb cy ahky pnrts mnd`gd` hvjr tmj jk`j8

G pull cy nrcs gd ilhsj, cnfgd` surj cy bjjt nrj ihvjrjk6 yjt stgll

tmj whlvjs rgsj. Bgjrij jyjs ihlkly jvnluntj cy ljvjl hb sljjp? Gs mj

stgll nwnfj8 Cnyajcnyaj dht. [mnts HF. Pj mnvj nll dg`mt ndk


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[mj Uhwjr hb Gcn`gdntghd | :

nrj ay dnturjpntgjdtwjnrgd` hur vgitgcs khwd6 tmj pursugt ns

jdohynalj ns tmj jvjdtunl fgll. Pjll oust fjjp prjssgd` mgc burtmjr,

burtmjr, udtgl mj bnlls brhc jxmnustghd.

Ndk tmjy arhu`mt dg`mtcnrjs. Mhrrjdkhus dg`mtcnrjs! [mjfgdk wmjrj G trgjk th rud brhc cy pursujrs. Murry, tmjyrj ihc-

gd`! aut tmj bnstjr tmjy incj nt cj, tmj slhwjr G sjjcjk th chvj.

Lgfj chlnssjstmgifvgsihusslu``gsmihdtgdunlly slhwgd`

chlnssjs. Nll cy lgcas pnrnlyzjk, tmj whlvjs fjpt ihcgd`, ilhsjr,

ilhsjr, udtgl, oust wmjd tmjy wjrj nahut th `rna cj, G whulk sgt up

gd cy ajk stnrtljk nwnfj, `nspgd` bhr ngr, cy t-smgrt shnfgd` wjt.

[mj shbt arjntmgd` hb cy sgalgd`s ihdtrnstjk wgtm tmj lhuk arjntm-gd` hb tmj whlvjs udkjr cy ajk. Mnvgd` oust mnk tmj jxigtjcjdt hb

tmj fgll nt mndk, tmjgr tjdsj `nsps ajtrnyjk tmjgr kgsnpphgdtcjdt.

[mndf cy luify stnrs G whfj up! Pmnt gb G mnkdt8!

Dg`mt nbtjr dg`mt tmjy incj bhr cj ndk jnim tgcj, G dnrrhwly

jsinpjk. G mnk th kh shcjtmgd`. Kjspjrntghd wns sjttgd` gd. Aut

wmnt ihulk G kh8 Phlvjs wjrj strhd`jr, bnstjrjntjrs hb lgttlj imgl-

krjd. Gb hdly G ihulk cnfj tmjc ajlgjvj G wns nwnfj. [mjy nlwnysrjtrjntjk udkjr tmj ajk wmjd G whfj up. Yhcjmhw, G djjkjk th

cnfj tmjc tmgdf sljjp mnk dht yjt ihcj. Gb tmjy ajlgjvjk G wns

nwnfj, tmjy whulk wngt. Aut mhw th pjrsunkj tmjc8 [mjd brhc

shcjwmjrj kjjp gd tmj sncj gcn`gdntghd tmnt arhu`mt tmj whlvjs,

tmj rjcjky nppjnrjk lgfj n lg`mtdgd` ahlt!

Chvjcjdt. Wjs, tmnt wns gt. Chvjcjdt!

[mjy wngtjk bhr cj th Y[HU chvgd`. [mnt wns tmj sg`dnl. [mjyfdjw G wns nsljjp wmjd G sthppjk chvgd`!

Dhw nll G djjkjk th kh wns th fjjp chvgd`shcjmhwaut mhw8

Pnlfgd` nrhudk8 Dhpj, whdt whrf6 gt whulk wnfj cy sgalgd`s

ndk Gk `jt dh rjst. Ajsgkjs, G wns nbrngk th jxtjdk cy bjjt hr mndks

ajyhdk tmj jk`j hb tmj ajk. Pmnt nahut wg``lgd` cy bjjt8 Phulk gt

aj ihdvgdigd`8 Cnyaj.

G stnrtjk th wg``lj cy bjjt jvjry dg`mt. Ncnzgd`ly, gt whrfjk.Nbtjr n bjw yjnrs, tmj whlvjs ajincj ihdvgdijk. [mgs `uy djvjr

sljjps.ndk bgdnlly, tmjy `nvj up. Ncnzgd` wmnt pjrsgstjdij ind kh.

Ncnzgd` wmnt gcn`gdntghd ind kh!


14/143

1Cy Gdtrhkuitghd th Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr

Pmjd G rjnimjk sgx yjnrs hlk, cy bncgly chvjk gdth n djw mhusj,nwny brhc tmj hlk djg`mahrmhhk, nwny brhc cy brgjdks, nwny brhc

bncglgnrgty. [mj djw mhusj, jg`mt yjnrs lntjr, jdkjk up ajgd` tmj

bnvhrgtj mhusj hb cy lgbj, aut hd tmnt bgrst dg`mt gt wns n plnij hb

tjrrhr. Knk thhf Chc hut bhr n lntj dg`mt hd tmj thwd ndk gd tmjgr

plnij wns n anay sgttjr. Pns smj tmj sgttjr brhc mjll8 G ihulkdt

tjll, aut nt tmnt chcjdt smj cg`mt ns wjll mnvj ajjd.

[mgs djw mhusj sjjcjk mu`j! Cy ajkrhhc wns hd tmj sjihdkblhhr nt tmj tgp hb n lhd` L-smnpjk mnll. Cy sgalgd`s ajkrhhcs wjrj

nll nt tmj hpphsgtj jdk hb tmj L. Qg`mt gd tmj cgkklj wjrj tmj cngd

stngrs, kgvgkgd` tmj lhd` spnd ajtwjjd cy rhhc ndk cy sgalgd`s.

G wns sjpnrntjk brhc cy bg`mtgd` bhrij, cy `nd`, cy mhcgjs, ay n

lhd` strjtim hb mnll ndk shcj stngrs. [mgs wns dht `hhk. G ihulk aj

tnfjd ay chdstjrs jnsgly.

Nbtjr cy pnrjdts ljbt bhr tmjgr dg`mt hd tmj thwd ndk oust ns Gstnrtjk th bnll nsljjp, tmj mnll lg`mts stnrtjk th blgifjr hd ndk hbb.

Dhw G fdjw G mnk hutwgttjk tmj whlvjs gd tmj hlk mhusj, aut mjrj

gd tmj djw mhusj tmj chdstjrs wjrj dht yjt gkjdtgbgjk, sh sjjgd` tmj

lg`mts blgifjr ihulk hdly ljnk th hdj ihdilusghd? tmj chdstjrs fdhw

mhw th whrf tmj lg`mts!


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Cy Gdtrhkuitghd th Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr | 0

Hm dh, dht n`ngd! G nc dht prjpnrjk bhr tmgs. Pmnt nc G `hgd`

th kh!8

Gb G rud gdth tmj mnll, tmjyll `jt cj bhr surjudljssgb G sdjnf

up th tmj jlahw hb tmj Lndk pjjf nrhudk tmj ihrdjrns lhd` nstmjy mnvjdt turdjk hbb tmj lg`mts, cnyaj G ind sjj th cnfj n knsm

th cy sgstjrs rhhc ndk snbjty! Yh G wntim tmj lg`mts. [mjy nrj stny-

gd` hbb. Ymt! Gll mnvj th rgsf gt. [h aj inu`mt nlhdj tmgs bnr brhc

tmj mjrk Ylhwly hd cy mndks ndk fdjjs G irjjp th tmj ihrdjr hb

tmj L, trygd` th stny lhw ndk gdvgsgalj. Gc surj tmj chdstjrs ind

mjnr cy lhukly-ajntgd` mjnrt. G rjnim tmj ihrdjr ndk pjnf nrhudk.

Gt gs pgtim alnif. Ylhwly, slhwly G gdim cy wny nrhudk tmj ihrdjr,bjjlgd` tmj duaay inrpjt udkjr cy mndks ndk fdjjs, blgdimgd` nt

tmj pjrghkgi squjnfs hb tmj hlk whhkjd blhhr udkjr tmj inrpjt. Ns

G npprhnim tmj thp hb tmj stngrs, G cnfj nd jxjiutgvj kjigsghd (tmj

stngrs wjrj ajtwjjd cj ndk cy sgstjrs rhhc)? G mnvj th cnfj n rud

bhr gt. Ujjrgd` gdth tmj alnif mhlj irjntjk ay tmj stngrs bnllgd` nwny

brhc tmj sjihdk blhhr, G cnfj n cnk knsm th tmjgr rhhc. Luifgly

tmjgr khhr gs hpjd! G nc gd lgfj n blnsm ndk mhp hdth Fnrjds ajk.Pmjw! [mj chdstjrs cust mnvj ajjd plnygd` inrks. Ynbjty!

Ind G sljjp gd yhur ajk thdg`mt8 G wmgspjr brndtginlly, trygd`

dht th rjvjnl cy tjrrhr jgtmjr th tmj chdstjrs hr cy sgstjr. (Gts

gcphrtndt th ljt tmj whcjd gd yhur lgbj fdhw yhu nrj arnvj sh tmjy

ind bjjl sjiurj.)

Pmy8 Fnrjd nsfs gd n dht-nt-nll ihcbhrtgd` thdj.

G irgd`j ajinusj smjs tnlfgd` wny thh lhuk. [mj lg`mts wjrjblnsmgd`, G `nsp. [mj chdstjrs fdhw mhw th whrf tmj lg`mts! G

nc surj G mnvj oust kgsihvjrjk n bjnrshcj trutm.

Cy sgstjr, nlwnys nd gccjdsjly prnitginl pjrshd, ljts hut n ag` sg`m

ns gb, Pjll, wj mnvj th muchr tmj lgttlj hdjs hr [mjrj gs dh mjlp

bhr tmgs gkght. Ymj pulls anif tmj ihvjrs ndk ljts cj irnwl gd djxt th

mjr. [urds hut Gc dht tmj hdly gkght. Ajbhrj lhd`, nll bgvj hb us nrj

squgsmjk gdth Fnrjds ajk! [h tmgs kny smj stgll prjtjdks wj thhf nkvnd-tn`j hb tmj sgtuntghd, ns gb smj khjsdt rjnlgzj oust mhw gcphrtndt tmgs

wns th us! Nbtjr nll, Fnrjd kgkdt mnvj ndyhdj th kh tmgs bhr mjr.

[mj djxt chrdgd` smj thhf us nll hut th tmj thp hb tmj stngrs

ndk smhwjk us tmjrj wjrj n sjt hb tmrjj-wny swgtimjs tmnt

ihdtrhlljk tmj mnll ndk stngr lg`mtgd`. Nt tmj ahtthc hb tmj stngrs


16/143

| [mj Ytukjdt=

wjrj n cntimgd` sjt hb swgtimjs. [mj anay sgttjr mnk sgcply plnyjk

wgtm tmj swgtimjs, turdgd` tmj lg`mts hd ndk hbb. Cystjry shlvjk, dh

chdstjrs. Pgsj hlkjr sgstjr!

Nt tmgs pnrtgiulnr mhusj, cy rhhc wns nahvj tmj fgtimjd. G `rjwth lhvj cy rhhc nt tmj jdk hb tmj mnll jxijpt bhr tmhsj dg`mts cy

bntmjr incj mhcj krudf. Cy bntmjr wns n bngrly lnr`j cnd, 2 >,

wgtm n cnssgvj ajlly. Mj wjg`mjk gd wjll hvjr 955 phudks. Ajjr mnk

ajjd mgs vgij bhr ns lhd` ns G ihulk rjcjcajr ndk mgs ihcgd` mhcj

krudf wns n rjùlnr hiiurrjdij. Ygdij cy ajkrhhc wns nahvj tmj

fgtimjd G wns prgvy th chst hb mgs lntj dg`mt rjdkjzvhus wgtm tmj

rjbrg`jrnthr ndk th tmj yjllgd` cntimjs wgtm cy chtmjr wmjd mjwns lhuk jdhu`m th nwnfjd mjr.

Lntj hdj dg`mt gd Nuùstnahut 1?55 NcG wns tuifjk gdth

ajk, jxijpt bhr cy bjjt, wmjd G mjnrk cy bntmjr ihcj mhcj.

Gccjkgntjly cy imjst tg`mtjdjk ndk cy arjntmgd` wjdt smnllhw.

Mgs rjturd nt tmgs mhur djvjr mnk n `hhk hutihcj. Phulk tmgs aj

nd jvjdgd` hb jntgd`, brygd` lgvjr snusn`j ndk stgdfgd` up tmj mhusj6

nd jvjdgd` hb yjllgd` hr whrsj8G bjlt pjrshdnlly rjsphdsgalj bhr tmjgr nrùcjdts ajinusj hbtjd

cy chtmjr sirjncjk nahut tmj aurkjd hb bgvj imglkrjd ndk mgs lnif

hb bgdndignl supphrt. Iljnrly imglkrjd wjrj n tjrrgalj bgdndignl prha-

ljc. G kjigkjk rg`mt tmjrj tmnt G whulkdt mnvj imglkrjd G ihulkdt

supphrt. Hd tmgs pnrtgiulnr mht ndk mucgk dg`mt, Knk kgkdt

imhhsj bhhk hr yjllgdàut whrsj.

G mjnrk mgc stucalgd` up tmj stngrs, whhk irjnfgd` udkjr mgswjg`mt jvjry stjp hb tmj wny. G mjnrk mgc pnusj nt tmj thp hb tmj

stngrs. Hm dh, whulk mj ihcj th cy rhhc hr cy sgstjrs8 G fdjw tmj

htmjrs wjrj nwnfj, whdkjrgd` tmj jxnit sncj tmgd`. [mgs jvjdgd`,

mj imhsj cj. Cy sthcnim stnrtjk th imurd6 tmjrj wns dh jsinpj.

Knk whulk aj mjrj gd n bjw chcjdts. [mj mnll irjnfjk ns mj incj

nrhudk tmj ihrdjr hb tmj L. Pmjd mj hpjdjk tmj khhr th cy rhhc,

n irnif hb lg`mt spnrfjk ndk `rjw udtgl mj wns sglmhujttjk gd tmjkhhr. Mjrj gt ihcjs, G tmhu`mt, tmj krjnkjk iyilj hb stjps G subbjrjk

tmrhu`m sjvjrnl tgcjs n chdtm.

Ytjp >? Mj stucaljs th tmj ajk ndk blhps khwd hd thp hb cj

irhsswgsj lgfj n snif hb cjnl hd n lhnkgd` khif. [mj gcpnit hb mgs

jdhrchus aulf fdhifs tmj wgdk hut hb cj. G wndt th iry aut khdt


17/143

Cy Gdtrhkuitghd th Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr | 7

mnvj tmj arjntm th kh gt. Zdkjr mgs 955 phudks, cy arjntmgd` gs

bhrijk smnllhw, aut nt ljnst G nc stgll arjntmgd`. Ytjp > bgdgsmjk,

yjnm, hd th Ytjp 1.

Ns usunl, mj wndts th aj surj mj mns cy nashlutj nttjdtghd sh mjprhps mgcsjlb hd hdj jlahw, lhhfs cj kgrjitly gd tmj jyj ndk, lgfj n

phlgtgignd gd lhvj wgtm mgs hwd vhgij, stnrts th jdlg`mtjd tmj cnssjs.

Ytjp 1? Mgs spjjimjs usunlly bhius hd tmj cjndgd` hb lgbj. Whu

ind aj `rjnt! hr [mhsj irhhfjk lnwyjrs ndk ouk`js wmgim wns

myphirgtginl ajinusj mj mgcsjlb wns n irhhfjk lnwyjr. Ns mj ihdtjc-

plntjs tmj pjrbjit fdhwljk`j mj gs th ajsthw uphd cj tmgs jvjdgd`

mj puifjrs mgs bnt imjjfs ndk lgps sh tmnt tmjy kgstjdk uddnturnlly.Ljndgd` gd th wgtmgd bhur gdimjs hb cy dhsj ndk jxukgd` jxtrjcj

nlihmhl arjntm, mj gdbhrcs cj nahut mgs kgbbgiult tgcjs ndk mhw

wj nrj `hgd` th `h nbtjr tmhsj YHAs usgd` tmj lnw. Yhcjwmjrj gd

tmj krudfjd stuphr `haalj-kjj-`hhf, mj jvjdtunlly ihcjs hut wgtm,

Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr. Gts nll nahut Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr.

G nc `jttgd` nd`ry. G wndt th yjll, @jt hbb cj yhu bnt pg`!

Aut wmnt nahut lhvgd` yhur bntmjr, wmnt nahut n bntmjr lhvgd` mgsshd8 Nd`jr hvjrtnfjs cj, imhfjs cj. Autwmntnahutlhvj8

Mhdhrgd` yhur bntmjr8 Pmjrj gs lhvj8 G khdt udkjrstndk.

Nigk ahgls up th cy tmrhnt. G ind bjjl n chdstjr `rhwgd` wgtmgd

cj, `ngdgd` bhrij, bjjkgd` hbb cy nd`jr. Aut G khdt wndt th mntj

cy bntmjr. Pmnt mnppjdjk th tmj lhvj8 Pmnts mnppjdgd` th cj8 G

khdt wndt th aj n bntmjr-mntgd` typj pjrshd. G bjjl tmj mntj ihjrigd`

cj, imnd`gd` cj, mnrkjdgd` cy mjnrt.Ns tmj mntj `rjw, gt ihdsucjk cj. Gd tmnt chcjdt, wmnt lgttlj

nwnrjdjss hb lhvj ndk ohy lhk`jk gd cy mjnrt kgsnppjnrjk. Gt wns slgp-

pgd` tmrhu`m cy bgd`jrs, lgfj tmnt jxtrn pnifn`j wmjd yhu try th inrry

thh cuim. [mj hdj hd thp stnrts th slgkj, bgrst slhwly, tmjd bnstjr.

Pgtm n qugif chvjcjdt yhu try th ihcpjdsntj, aut gts thh lntj. [mj

ljndgd` thwjr gs nlrjnky gd chtghd6 ihllnpsj gs gccgdjdt. Gd gts plnij

`rjw shcjtmgd` G kgkdt fdhw jxgstjk, shcjtmgd` tjrrgalj, mntjbul,nd`rynd gdtjrdnl chdstjr. [mj chdstrhus pnrt hb cj tmnt wndts

th irusm tmj whrlk, kjstrhy nll tmnt ihcjs djnrmns dh ihdijrd bhr

rg`mt hr wrhd`, lhvj hr mntj rjsphdks tmrhu`m vghljdij ndk kjstrui-

tghd th nll. Inu`mt ajtwjjd tmgs gdtjrdnl chdstjr ndk tmj krudfjd

smjll hb n bntmjr trnppgd` cj udkjr mgs wjg`mt, mhw ihulk G mnd`


18/143

| [mj Ytukjdt>5

hdth cysjlb8 G bjlt lgfj nd jxpjrgcjdtnl rnt gd n in`j wmjrj tmj blhhr

`gvjs nd jljitrginl smhif hvjr ndk hvjr wgtm dh wny hut.

G bjlt tmj jk`j hb kjspngr ihcgd` ilhsj. Yurrjdkjrgdjvgtnalj

lgfj n imglk nt nd ncusjcjdt pnrf, nt tmj thp hb n lhd` slgkj, anlndi-gd` hd tmj jk`j, udsurj gb gd mgs mjnrt hb mjnrts, mj wndts th tnfj

tmj plud`j, aut nbtjr tmnt bgrst stjp, tmjrjs dh `hgd` anif. Whu slgkj,

udihdtrhlljk, dh wny th nsf bhr n rj-kh6 yhu oust fjjp `hgd`, burtmjr

ndk burtmjr khwd. Ns G `nvj gd th kjspngr, tmj chdstjr, ajgd` iut

hbb brhc cy nd`jr, suasgkjk. YurrjdkjrNpntmygdjvgtnalj. Ytjp 1

wns khdj. G mnk survgvjk.

Dhw Ytjp 9, tmj chst pmysginlly imnlljd`gd` pnrt.Ytjp 9? Mj pnssjk hut hd thp hb cj.

Mgs bull wjg`mt irusmjk cy imjst. G ihulk anrjly chvj. G prnyjk

mj whulk wnfj up, aut mj oust lny tmjrj. Mj wns hut ihlk.

Dhw wmnt. Qjsg`dgd` cysjlb th tmj tnsf nt mndk, G squg``ljk

ljbt, tmjd rg`mt, tmjd ljbt n`ngd, hvjr ndk hvjr, trygd` th `jt brjj.

@rnkunlly cy nrcs incj brjj. Chrj squg``lgd` brjjk cy imjst, tmjd

nakhcjd, tmjd mgps ndk lj`s th tmj fdjjs. Nbtjr nd jtjrdgty hbsqug``lgd` (prhanaly 95 cgdutjs), gt ajincj chrj kgbbgiult ajinusj

tmj ajk sjjcjk th aj bg`mtgd` cy nttjcpts th brjj cy lj`s. Aut G

fdjw tmj hrkjnl wns nlchst hvjr.

G twgstjk ndk wg``ljk, twgstjk ndk wg``ljk ndk bgdnlly pulljk

hut bgrst hdj lj` ndk tmnd tmj htmjr.

Jxmnustjk ndk krjdimjk, smgvjrgd` ndk cgsjrnalj, G spjdt tmj rjst

hb tmj dg`mt sgttgd` nt tmj mjnk hb cy ajk. G ihulk dht rgsf mgc wnfgd`up, bgdkgd` cj `hdj ndk ajgd` gdsultjk tmnt G mnk pulljk nwny.

[mj djxt chrdgd`, cy knk mnk dh rjinll wmntshjvjr, aut cy

sgalgd`s `ntmjrjk ndk nsfjk wmgim spjjim mj mnk `gvjd. Pgtmgd

tmj Qgdzjl ilua hb bgvj sgalgd`s, wj mnk ihkj ducajrs bhr Knks

krudfjd spjjimjs. Mjy, kgk Knk `gvj yhu spjjim 191 lnst dg`mt8

Dh, gt wns >=>.

Jnim hb us wnlfjk nwny wgtm shcjtmgd` kgbbjrjdt brhc cy knkskrudfjd dhdsjdsj. G `rnaajk hdth mgs stntjcjdt nahut Cgdk-

Hvjr-Cnttjr. Gt gdtrg`ujk cj th dh jdk ajinusj Gvj nlwnys ajjd

nalj th sjj ajmgdk tmj iurtngd hd pmysginl haojits, mhw tmjy whrf,

mhw tmjy nrj cnkj ndk wmjrj tmjgr lgcgts lgj. Aut mjrj tmgs Cgdk-

Hvjr-Cnttjr prgdigplj sthhk nlchst knrgd` cj th pjjf ajmgdk tmj


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Cy Gdtrhkuitghd th Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr | >>

iurtngd. [mj phssgaglgty hb udkjrstndkgd` Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr inp-

turjk cy gcn`gdntghd. Yhcjmhw G bjlt tmgs wns rg`mt jvjd tmhu`m

gt kgkdt bgt ndy struiturj Gk ajjd tnu`mt gd tmgs whrlk. Hb ihursj,

oust ajinusj G ajlgjvjk gd Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr kgkdt cjnd htmjrskgk. Gll ajlgjvj gt wmjd G sjj gt cy chtmjr whulk sny. Ypgrgtunl

Bndtnsy sngk cy hlkjr sgstjr Fnrjd. Cy knk whulk sny mj kgkdt

fdhw bhr surj ndk wgtmhut prhhb, wmnt `hhk wns gt8 Buddy tmnt mj

kgkdt rjcjcajr tmj gkjn incj brhc mgc.

Gts mnrk th mhlk hdth yhur krjncs wmjd tmj pjhplj ilhsj th

yhu sny dh, aut shcjmhw G fdjw tmgs wns rg`mt. G fdjw tmgs wns

truj, aut G kgkdt mnvj n iluj mhw th `h nahut prhvgd` gt hr jvjdusgd` gt gd cy lgbj.

Nt tmnt chcjdt, G cnkj n cnohr imglkmhhk kjigsghd? G wgll

bg`urj tmgs hut ndk prhvj gts truj.

[mgs imhgij, udlgfj prhtjitgd` cysjlb brhc tmj whlvjs, wns dht

ansjk gd bjnr6 rntmjr, gt wns tmj bgrst tgcj G bjlt G mnk n qujst ag``jr

tmnd cysjlbn sjnrim bhr trutmbhr `lhry. G nc rjnlly `hgd` th bgdk

tmj fjy th Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr, G vhwjk. Brhc tmnt phgdt hd, wntim-gd` tmj whrlk, lhhfgd` bhr sg`ds, mgdts hr ndytmgd` tmnt cg`mt ljnk

th bulbgllcjdt hb tmnt krjnc6 ajincj n kngly nitgvgty.

Aut tmj ihddjitghd ajtwjjd Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr ndk

Gcn`gdntghd kgkdt smhw up bhr sjvjrnl yjnrs.


20/143

9N @ugkjk Gcn`jry Nkvjdturj

Pmjd G wns nahut jg`mt, hdj pgjij hb tmj cgdk-hvjr-cnttjr puzzljincj udfdhwgd`ly brhc cy chtmjr. Ymj wns n @grl Yihut [rhhp

ljnkjr ndk whulk tnfj tmj [rhhp incpgd` nt ljnst hdij n yjnr. Cy

sgalgd`s ndk G wjrj krn``jk nlhd` th mjlp wgtm imhrjs ndk incp.

Jvjry jvjdgd` nbtjr bgdgsmgd` kgddjr, imhrjs ndk tmj jvjdgd`

sihutgd` nitgvgtgjs, G mhppjk gdth cy audf djnr tmj bgrjplnij ndk

tuifjk cysjlb gd (jxijpt bhr cy bjjt th ljt tmj whlvjs fdhw G wns

stgll nwnfj). Ns tmj `grls ohstljk bhr tmjgr spnijs, cy chtmjr sphfjup, Jvjryhdj `jt gdth ajk ndk qugjt khwd.

[mjd smj aj`nd, Pj nrj `hgd` hd nd gcn`gdnry ohurdjy. G wgll

kjsirgaj tmj ohurdjy ndk yhu cnfj nd gcn`j hb gt gd yhur cgdks.

Nd gcn`gdnry ohurdjytmgs wns n `hhk gkjncy lgbj gd tmj

gcn`gdnry whrlk tmrgvjs! [mgdf hb nd jdohynalj plnij gd dnturj

wmjrj yhu nrj snbj ndk ihcbhrtnalj, cy chtmjr aj`nd.

[mnt wns jnsy, rg`mt tmjrj gd tmj whhks hutsgkj tmj inagd wnshdj hb cy bnvhrgtj plnijs. G ihulk sjj tmj trjjs surrhudkgd` cj, prh-

tjitgd` cj brhc tmj wgdk. G ihulk bjjl tmj `rnss udkjr cy bjjt ndk

tmj wnrctm hb tmj sud hd cy bnij. Nbtjr n pnusj, smj ihdtgdujk.

Gcn`gdj n mu`j, brgjdkly jn`lj blygd` hvjrmjnk ndk ihcgd` khwd

th lndk djxt th yhu. Whu ndk tmnt jn`lj `jt nlhd` vjry wjll.


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N @ugkjk Gcn`jry Nkvjdturj | >9

G snw cy jn`lj bly gd. Mj wns ag`, cnyaj >5 tgcjs cy sgzj ndk mgs

wgd`s wjrj arhwd wgtm alnif bljifs. Mj lndkjk djxt th cj ndk dhk-

kjk ns gb th scglj gd `rjjtgd`. Ns wj snt tmjrj, mj hbbjrjk cj mgs bhht,

sh G ilgcajk hd. G bjlt mgs htmjr bhht ihcj hvjr ndk `jdtly `rna cjnrhudk cy wngst th aj surj G wns sjiurj. [mjd, wgtm n sur`j hb phwjr,

wj lnudimjk gdth tmj ngr. G ihulk bjjl tmj bhrij hb tmj lgbt ns mj usjk

mgs mu`j wgd`s th lgbt us up. G snw tmj lndk `rhw kgstndt ajlhw ndk

tmj mhrgzhd strjtim bnr hut gd brhdt. [mj jn`ljs wgd`s ajnt n wnvj-

lgfj rmytmc stnrtgd` brhc gts smhulkjrs ndk inrrygd` hut th tmj tgps

hb gts wgd`s. Gt wns ncnzgd` th sjj tmj wgd`tgps ajdk up ndk khwd

wgtm jnim strhfj. G lhhfjk khwd nt tmj lndksinpj rnigd` ay6 G ihulksjj sh bnr. Gt wns ajnutgbul! Ndk tmj ngr up mg`m scjlljk sh swjjt. Pj

zhhcjk tmrhu`m ilhuks ns gb tmjy wjrj nd hastnilj ihursj cnkj bhr

hur bud. Pmnt nd ncnzgd` jxpjrgjdij th bly wgtm nd jn`lj! Jvjd tmj

plndj blg`mts cy bntmjr thhf cj hd ihulkdt cntim tmgs.

[mj jn`lj inrrgjk cj hvjr chudtngdthps ndk nirhss tmj lndk

th n ajnutgbul lnfj wgtm n sndky ajnim. Pj mjnkjk khwd th tmj

smhrj. Mj inrjbully plnijk cj hd tmj ajnim ndk prhcgsjk th rjturdbhr cj nbtjr G bgdgsmjk cy sjnrim bhr trjnsurj. G lhhfjk nrhudk hd

tmj ajnim, nt bgrst sjjgd` hdly tmj sndk `lgstjdgd` lgfj kgnchdks.

Yukkjdly n smhvjl cgrniulhusly nppjnrjk hut hb tmgd ngr, oust tmj

thhl th kg` up n trjnsurj imjst. [mj spnrflgd` sndk hd tmj smhvjl

wns mjnvy ndk trgifljk hbb ns gb gd nd mhur`lnss. G ku` ndk ku`,

cnfgd` n mhlj kjjpjr ndk wgkjr wgtm jnim smhvjlbul udtgl G mjnrk

tmnt bntjbul shudk hb smhvjl mgttgd` mhllhw whhkjd imjst. G bhudkgt, n trjnsurj imjst! Pns gt ojwjls8 Chdjy8 Nkvjdturj8 [gcj whulk

tjll. [mgs gcn`gdntghd ohurdjy wns sh ihhl!

G `ht hd cy fdjjs, pulljk hut tmj imjst, ndk arusmjk hbb tmj

`rgtty sndk. Gt wns nd hlk whhkjd pgrntj imjst wgtm nll fgdks hb

pgrntj wrgtgd` hd gt. Hd jnim jdk wjrj whrd ljntmjr mndkljs ndk

tmj mnsp hd tmj brhdt wns hlk, rustjk ndk tmndfbully udlhifjk. Cy

trjnsurj!G turdjk tmnt hvjr ndk hvjr gd cy cgdk, djvjr mnvgd` mnk ntrjnsurj ajbhrj.

Oust nahut tmnt tgcj, G mjnrk cy chtmjrs kgsjcahkgjk vhgij,

hut hd tmgs ajnim, gd tmj cgkklj hb tmj dhwmjrj, tjllgd` cj, [mgs

trjnsurj gs yhurs nlhdj, gt wns cnkj bhr yhu ndk gs jxnitly wmnt yhu

djjk nt tmgs chcjdt.


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| [mj Ytukjdt>;

WJY, cy vjry hwd trjnsurj, oust bhr cj!

Lgbtgd` tmj mnsp wgtm cy rg`mt mndk ndk `ugkgd` tmj lgk up wgtm

cy ljbt, G hpjdjk tmj imjst th bgdk n pnrimcjdt. Cy trjnsurj wns n

pnrimcjdt[mnts gt8 Oust n pnrimcjdt8 [mgs gs kgsnpphgdtgd`. Gb Gc `hgd`

th bgdk nd gcn`gdnry trjnsurj tmjd nt ljnst gt smhulk aj shcjtmgd`

usjbul lgfj chdjy hr imhihlntj hr n djw agfjdht n pgjij hb pnpjr.

Hm wjll. Yh wmnt ihulk tmgs pnrimcjdt phssgaly sny tmnt gs sh

gcphrtndt8

Zphd udrhllgd` tmj pnrimcjdt, G rjnk, Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr gs

[ruj. Phw, tmnt wnsdt wmnt G jxpjitjk. Nll hb n sukkjd, tmj jn`ljwns anif. G qugifly plnijk tmj pnrimcjdt gd cy anifpnif, wmgim

nlsh oust cn`ginlly nppjnrjk, ndk tmj jn`lj pgifjk cj up. Pj bljw

lgfj tmj wgdk, anif hvjr tmj chudtngds th cy mhcj.

G wns jistntgi nt mnvgd` cy bgrst nkvjdturj usgd` wmnt G incj

th fdhw ns `ugkjk gcn`jry. Pmnt n whdkjrbul wny th sjj wmnt

wns mnppjdgd` gdsgkj cj. [mj pnrimcjdt thlk cj jxnitly wmnt

G djjkjk th mjnr nt tmnt prjigsj chcjdt, `gvgd` cj mhpj hd cyqujst. @ugkjk gcn`jry turdjk hut th aj n `hhk wny th imjif ndk

sjj wmnt wns `hgd` hd gdsgkj.


23/143

;Bhiusjk Gcn`js @jt Qjsults

Pmjd G mgt >; yjnrs hlk, wj chvjk th n djw mhusj ndk tmgs tgcjtmj mnll lg`mts kgk dht mnvj tmj sncj tjrrgbygd` jbbjit hd cj.

Gdstjnk, cy bjnrs ijdtjrjk nrhudk `hgd` th n djw simhhl bhr jg`mtm

`rnkj. [mj prjvghus yjnr (sjvjdtm `rnkj) G mnk ajjd ausjk th n djw

simhhl wmjrj tmjrj wns n lht hb rnignl tjdsghd ndk vghljdij. Yh dhw,

hdij n`ngd, G bnijk tmj nkhljsijdts n`hdy hb stnrtgd` nll hvjr wgtm

cnfgd` brgjdks, djw ruljs ndk udbncglgnr lhintghds. [mjrj wnsdt

tgcj th cnfj lnstgd` brgjdksmgps kurgd` sjvjdtm `rnkj ndk G fdjwG whulk aj swgtimgd` simhhls n`ngd th `h th cy Knks mg`m simhhl

nlcn cntjr gd dgdtm `rnkj, sh jg`mtm `rnkj kgk dht lhhf prhcgsgd`.

[mj prhspjit hb tmrjj djw simhhls gd tmrjj yjnrs wns kjprjssgd`. G

wns nd nwfwnrk tjjdn`jr nlrjnky, sh `hgd` th n djw simhhl wns lgfj

sjdtjdigd` cj th khgd` kgsmjs bhr tmj rjst hb cy lgbj. Aut luifgly

gd jg`mtm `rnkj cy bjnrs wjrj udbhudkjk, ndk G cjt cy shhd-th-aj

ajst brgjdk Knd.Knd wns sfgddy, smhrt ndk wgry wgtm n bnij bull hb brjifljs. Mj

wns tmj fgdk hb fgk wmh mnk bull ihhrkgdntghd inpnaglgtgjs wmjd mj

stjppjk hut hb mgs chtmjrs whca. Knd wns n sphrts cndgni. Mj

ihulk plny ndy sphrt tmnt rjqugrjk spjjk ndk bgdjssj. Jxijlljdt nt

phhl, shiijr, `hlb, smhhtgd`, Brgsajj, yhu dncj gt6 Knd wns tmj ahy


24/143

| [mj Ytukjdt>2

th ajnt! Zdbhrtudntjly bhr mgc, mj wns nlsh hb slg`mt auglk, sh wmglj

mj wns rjih`dgzjk ns n sphrts ùy jnrly hd, ns htmjr ahys `rjw cuim

ag``jr ndk chrj phwjrbul, mj lhst mgs rndfgd` gd sphrts. Jvjdtunlly

ns htmjrs surpnssjk mgc pmysginlly, tmjy stnrtjk aullygd` mgc.Ihdsjqujdtly, mj ndk G mud` hut th`jtmjr, tmj lhst `jjf ndk tmj kgs-

bnvhrjk ohif. Pmglj Knd wns nt mgs mjg`mt gd sphrts, G wnsdt jvjd hd

tmj plnygd` bgjlk. Hm wns tmnt cy bhht8 G tmhu`mt gt wns yhurs.

Ndhtmjr tnljdt hb Knds wns n dnturnl udkjrstndkgd` hb cgdk-

hvjr-cnttjr ndk tmnt gdtrgùjk cj dh jdk. Mj whd nlchst jvjry

krnwgd` mj jdtjrjk ndk ihdsgstjdtly cnkj chdjy hd sthifs wgtm

scnrt gdvjstcjdt imhgijs. Mgs bntmjr tnu`mt mgc jnrly hd mhw thmndklj chdjy ndk Knds gddntj naglgtgjs nllhwjk mgc th jxijl.

Nt >; yjnrs hlk, G kgkdt mnvj n iluj wmnt gdvjstgd` wns hr mhw

mj nlwnys ihulk aj sh luify. G bjlt ihdtgduhus jdvy, ojnlhusy ndk

rjsjdtcjdt ajinusj hb mgs luif. G pjstjrjk mgc, Knd, mhw kh yhu

nlwnys wgd8 Pmnts yhur strntj`y8 Mhw kh yhu pgif sthifs sh wjll8

Gvj nlwnys ajjd luify wns mgs lnihdgi rjsphdsj. Dhw cy

rjsjdtcjdt whulk rntimjt up n dhtim ndk cy bnij whulk blusm wgtmnd`jr. (Chdstjr nljrt!) Pmy tmj mjll whdt mj oust tjll cj8 Gk wngl

th cysjlb. Khjs mj tmgdf Gc stupgk hr dht nalj th `jt gt8

Hdj tgcj tmjrj wns n inr `gvj nwny nt n lhinl kjnljrsmgp. Pj

krhvj th`jtmjr th tmj kjnljrsmgp gd mgs bntmjrs inr. Hd tmj krgvj G

wns nlrjnky ahglgd` hvjr wgtm jxpjitjk rjsjdtcjdt. [jll cj mhw

yhu wgd nll tmj tgcj, G kjcndkjk lhukly. Knd stnyjk qugjt. [mj

ndtgigpntghd wns mg`m ajinusj jnim hb us mnk oust turdjk >2 ndkmnk hur djw krgvjrs lgijdsjs. Pj ahtm rjnlly wndtjk th wgd tmgs

inr! G wns tmgdfgd` nahut mhw Gk djvjr whd ndytmgd` ajbhrj ndk

whulkdt gt aj ncnzgd` gb G kgk wgd tmgsndk wmy whdt Knd tjll cj

tmj sjirjt8 Nt tmj sncj tgcj, G fdjw Knd wns ihdijdtrntgd` hd wgd-

dgd` ndk tmnt mj mnk bgùrjk hut n cgdk-hvjr-cnttjr strntj`y.

Phulkdt yn fdhw, Knd whd tmj inr! Mj nitunlly whd tmnt inr nt

n`j >2, brjsm brhc oust `jttgd` mgs krgvjrs lgijdsj. G wns n phhr sphrt.Ihcpljtjly udnalj th aj mnppy bhr mgc, G yjlljk, Mhw gd tmj whrlk

kgk yhu kh tmnt!8 [mgs tgcj, rntmjr tmnd `gvj cj tmj sncj hlk luif

sthry, mj pnusjk ndk `ht n bnr nwny lhhf gd mgs jyjs. G tmgdf mj wns

wjg mgd` tmj rgsf hb tjllgd` tmj trutm. ugjtly, nlchst ns n sg m, mj ljt

gt slgp? G sjj tmj jvjdt `h cy wny ajbhrj gt mnppjds.


25/143

Bhiusjk Gcn`js @jt Qjsults | >0

Yhudkjk lgfj cgdk-hvjr-cnttjr th cj.

G kgkdt sny n whrk, prjsjrvgd` nd gcphrtndt chcjdt ajtwjjd us.

Mj krhvj cj mhcj gd mgs djw inr. Ytndkgd` gd brhdt hb cy

mhusj wgtm cy mndks gd cy phifjts, G trgjk cy ajst th lhhf insunlndk kgs`ugsj cy mg`m jxigtjcjdt. G prjssjk mgc th tjll cj wmnt

mj cjndt ay sjjgd` gt ajbhrj gt mnppjds. Knd lhhfjk pjdsgvj. Mj

mnk arhfjd mgs sgljdij ndk kjigkjk mj ihulk trust cj. Mgs lhd`,

tmgd bnij sirudimjk up, ajtrnygd` mgs ncagvnljdij ndk tmj smjjr

kgbbgiulty hb jxplngdgd` shcjtmgd` sh wjgrk aut sh surjly n pnrt hb

mgcsjlb. [mjd, mj rjnimjk n kjigsghd ndk pgifjk up n rhif brhc tmj

`rhudk ndk mndkjk gt th cj. Mjrj, tnfj tmgs rhif.Pgtm n `rhwgd` gdtjdsgty gd mgs jyjs, mj sngk, Whu sjj tmj sthp

sg`d hd tmj ihrdjr8 [mj sthp sg`d wns nahut 0: bjjt nwny. Mg`m

simhhl pmysginl jkuintghd ilnss mnk nlrjnky kjtjrcgdjk G ihulkdt

tmrhw tmnt bnr ljt nlhdj mgt gt n tnr`jt, aut G wns lgstjdgd`.

Ilhsj yhur jyjs, mj gdstruitjk. G mnk sjjd wmnt wns ihcgd`

ndk wns `rhwgd` sfjptginl aut ijrtngdly kgkdt jxpjit tmgs twgst. Wjt

G mnk nsfjk, kjspjrntjly wndtjk th ljnrd, ndk fdjw jdhu`m th plnynlhd`.

Ilhsj tmjc ndk gcn`gdj tmrhwgd` tmj rhif. Yjj gt bly nll tmj

wny th tmj sthp sg`d ndk mgt gt. Fjjp yhur jyjs ilhsjk udtgl yhu bgd-

gsm tmj gcn`j ndk rjnlly bjjl tmj rhif ihddjitgd` wgtm tmj sg`d ndk

wgtm yhur nrc. Cnfj tmj wmhlj tmgd` nd jxtjdsghd hb yhur nrc.

[mgs wns djw. Phw! Cnyaj tmj gdstruitghd G mnk ajjd sjnrim-

gd` bhr bgdnlly nrrgvjk. G ilhsjk cy jyjs, bjlt tmj wjg`mt hb tmj rhifgd cy mndk. Gt wnsdt thh scnll, wnsdt thh ag`. [mjrj wjrj n ihuplj

smnrp jk`js ndk on``jk phgdts. G ahudijk gt gd cy mndk udtgl tmj

`rgp bjlt oust rg`mt. [mjdG bhiusjk6 thtnlly bhiusjkhd tmj sthp

sg`d. Gd cy cgdks jyj, cy nrc ihifjk anif, G ihulk bjjl cy smhul-

kjr rhtntj ndk rjnim anifwnrkbhllhwjk ay rusmgd` bhrwnrk gd n

ag` nri. G snw tmj nri `h brhc cy nrc th tmj sg`d ndk mhw tmjy wjrj

ihddjitjk ay tmj rhifs trnojithry. [mj rhifs trnojithry sjjcjk thaj n ihdtgduntghd hb cy nrc. Nt tmj npjx hb cy swgd`, cy mndk

ljt tmj rhif bly. Gt nrimjk up thwnrk tmj sfy gd n schhtm iurvj, ljv-

jljk hbb ndk stnrtjk gts khwdwnrk trnojithry thwnrk tmj sg`d, nll tmj

wmglj ajgd` ihddjitjk wgtm cy nrc. G wntimjk gt blhw tmrhu`m tmj

trnojithry nll tmj wny ndk ahudij hbb tmj ijdtjr hb tmj sg`d. Khgd`


26/143

| [mj Ytukjdt>=

cy ajst th gdilukj sjdsntghds hb sg`mt, shudk ndk thuim oust lgfj gd

tmj gcn`gdnry jn`lj ohurdjy, G jvjd prjtjdkjk th mjnr tmj lhuk and`

hb tmj cjtnl sg`d prhtjstgd` tmj gdtrusgvj rhifs ihdtnit.

Pmjd G bjlt tmj gcn`j wns strhd` ndk cy nrc wns ihddjitjkth tmj sg`d, G hpjdjk cy jyjs ndk wgtmhut tmgdfgd`, stnygd` bully

gccjrsjk gd tmj bjjlgd` hb ihddjitghd th tmj sg`d, G ihifjk cy nrc,

thhf n stjp ndk ljt gt bly. Gt bjlt `lhrghus! Jvjrytmgd` jxnitly wmjrj

gt smhulk aj6 nt jxnitly tmj rg`mt tgcj. [mj rhif bljw truj ndk niiu-

rntj, rg`mt th tmj cgkklj hb tmj sg`d wmjrj gt ahudijk hbb ndk cnkj

n lhuk and`. Mhly Ihw! G mnk bhudk twh hb tmj fjys! Bhius! Bhiusgd`

ihcpljtjly hd hdj gcn`j ndk n sjihdk fjy? Argd` gd ns cndy sjdsjs, sg`mt,shudk, thuim ns yhu ind th cnfj tmj gcn`j rjnl.

Jvjd Knd wns gcprjssjk. Mj lnu`mjk ndk sngk, G kgkdt jxpjit

tmnt th whrf!

Jxjrigsj >? Yjj gt, Bjjl gt, Jxpjrgjdij gt.

@gvj gt n smht, try shcjtmgd` pmysginl, shcjtmgd` sgcplj tmnt

yhu khdt dhrcnlly kh. Cnfj tmj gcn`j brhc aj`gddgd` th jdk,

bjjl gt, sjj gt, mjnr gt, jxpjrgjdij gt mnppjdgd` jxnitly ns yhu wndt gt

thtmjd nitunlly kh gt. Yuiijss8 Gb yjs, ihhl, gb dh, cnyaj nkoust tmj

gcn`j n agt hr try th bhius sh ihcpljtjly hd tmj gcn`j tmnt tmj rjst

hb tmj whrlk kgsnppjnrstmjd kh gt n`ngd.


27/143

:Unst Gcn`js Ind Jbbjit tmj Urjsjdt

Ymhrtly nbtjr cy rhif tmrhwgd` jxpjrgjdij, nd hlk mnagt incj anifth agtj (ndk gdstruit) cj. Cy arusmjs wgtm tmj whlvjs nt dg`mt mnk

bnkjk brhc cjchry aut tmj udihdsighus jbbjits hb tmhsj bjnrs mnk

dht. Cy yhutm wns rnpgkly bnkgd`, hr sh G tmhu`mt, ljnkgd` cj th

ajlgjvj tmj whlb jxpjrgjdijs wjrj n tmgd` hb tmj pnst. [h cy sur-

prgsj, tmjy wjrjdt! G wns sgttgd` gd tmj fgtimjd mnvgd` arjnfbnst,

ihdtjcplntgd` nd jlusgvj nspjit hb Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr, Ajlgjb, wmjd

Fnrjd nsfjk cj wmnt G wns khgd` nwnfj gd tmj cgkklj hb tmj dg`mt.Nt bgrst G stnrtjk th try ndk kjigpmjr wmnt smj wns `hgd` bhr.

Pmy wns YMJ nwnfj gd tmj cgkklj hb tmj dg`mt8 Ndk wmnt wns gt

th mjr tmnt G wns nwnfjwngt n cgdutjG wnsdt nwnfj. Pmnt gs smj

tnlfgd` nahut8 Yhcjtmgd` wjgrk wns `hgd` hd ndk G suspjitjk smj

wns nt tmj ahtthc hb gt. Qntmjr ihdbusjk, G stnccjrjk, Pmnt8 G

wnsdt nwnfj.

Whu mnk th aj, smj rjthrtjk. G snw yhu wg``lgd` yhur bjjt thtmj ajnt hb wmntjvjr cusgi yhu wjrj lgstjdgd` th.

Mum8 Ihulk G aj sh udnwnrj hb cy kjjpjst gcprjssghds tmnt

cy bjjt wjrj stgll chvgd` nt dg`mt th sinrj hbb tmj whlvjs8 Yukkjdly,

ns gb n knc mnk oust aurst, tmj gcpnits hb cy gcn`gdntghd blhwjk

gdth cy nwnrjdjss lgfj rusmgd` wntjr gdth n mu`j pgpj trygd` th


28/143

| [mj Ytukjdt15

krhwd cj. G bjlt hvjrwmjlcjk ndk ilhsj th jxplhkgd`! [mj rjn-

shd G ihulkdt sljjp wgtm wjg`mt hd cy lj`s hr bjjt wns ajinusj,

shcjwmjrj kjjp gdsgkj, G stgll bjnrjkstgll ajlgjvjkgdtmj whlvjs6

sh G djjkjk th nllhw cy bjjt th wg``lj. Jnim dg`mt wmjd G irnwljkgdth ajk ndk bjlt cy bjjt ihdstrgitjk ay tmj tuifjk gd alndfjts,

Gk gccjkgntjly fgif n`ngdst tmj ihvjrs udtgl tmjy wjrj ud-tuifjk,

nllhwgd` cy bjjt th stgif hut. Cy bjjt ndk lj`s djjkjk th aj brjj!

Ndytmgd` lygd` hd cy lj`s, gdilukgd` tmj bncgly int, ljk th shrj lj`s

gd tmj chrdgd`. Dhtmgd` hd cy lj`s, dh prhaljc.

Nbtjr tmgs nwnrjdjss incj th lg`mt, ndk tmj truj iulprgt (cy

gcn`gdntghd) wns gkjdtgbgjk, cy djjk th sljjp wgtm cy bjjt stgifgd`hut kgsnppjnrjk.

[mgs rngsjk shcj jxigtgd` djw qujstghds? Gb cy cgdk ajlgjvjk

wmnt cy gcn`gdntghd irjntjk, sh cuim sh tmnt G whulk nitunlly mnvj

pmysginl rjnitghds th gt, ihulk tmgs aj ndhtmjr jxncplj hb cgdk-hvjr-

cnttjr8 Pmnt gb G ihulk usj tmnt udkjrstndkgd` th imnd`j shcj hb

tmj tmgd`s G khdt lgfj nahut cysjlb hr cy lgbj8

Jxjrigsj 1? Mgkkjd Kjigsghds

Pmjrj mns yhur gcn`gdntghd trgppjk yhu up wgtm lhd` tjrc

ihdsjqujdijs8 [mgdf nahut cjchrnalj jxpjrgjdijs hr mgk-

kjd (sjirjt8) kjigsghds yhu cnkj ns n imglk phssgaly ansjk hdgcn`gdntghd.


29/143

2Mgkkjd Nitgvgtgjs hb tmj Cgdk

Pmglj cy gddjr qujst wns gd bull swgd`, cy pnrjdts cnrrgn`j wnshd tmj rhifs. Gd bnit, tmjy wjrj `jttgd` n kgvhrij. Gt wns n lhd` ndk

cjssy kgvhrij wgtm ahtm pnrjdts usgd` wmntjvjr kgrty trgifs tmjy

ihulk ihcj up wgtm th put tmj htmjr tmrhu`m mjll. Kurgd` nll tmgs

imnhs, G bjlt G wns ajgd` n lhynl shd th cy chtmjr, rg`mt up udtgl n

lntj Kjijcajr jvjdgd` wmjd G wns >0 yjnrs hlk.

Cglwnufjj mnk sjjd n rjihrk arjnfgd` sdhwbnll tmnt kny, kucp-

gd` hvjr >1 gdimjs gd ljss tmnd 1; mhurs. Jvjrytmgd` incj th n sthp.Cy arhtmjr-gd-lnw ndk G ahtm whrfjk nt ZUY nirhss thwd ndk wmjd

tmj jvjdgd` smgbt jdkjk nt >5 p.c., mj krhvj cj mhcj tmrhu`m nll

tmj sdhw. Ns G wnlfjk gdth tmj mhusj, G mjnrk shaagd` ihcgd` brhc

shcjwmjrj pnst tmj fgtimjd. G bhllhwjk tmj shaagd` nll tmj wny th

tmj antmrhhc ndk tmjrj wns cy chtmjr, gd tmj antmtua, lntj nt

dg`mt, `rhutgd` tmj tglj wnlls.

[mgs sijdj ihdbusjk cj? mjrj gs cy chtmjr sgttgd` hd n sthhlgd tmj antmtua wgtm n sinrb tgjk nrhudk mjr mjnk lgfj tmj whcjd

gd tmhsj hlk Cr. Iljnd ihccjrignls6 G dhtgij yjllhw ndk wmgtj tglj

squnrjs nll nrhudk hd tmj blhhr ndk jk`js hb tmj antmtua, wmgtj

`rhut gd n auifjt, shcj trhwjls, ndk Fljjdjx tgssuj cnfgd` n pglj gd

tmj antmrhhc sgdf brhc nll mjr shaagd`. Hutsgkj gs tmj whrst sdhw


30/143

| [mj Ytukjdt11

gd cndy chhds, ndk gt gs >5?95 p.c. G mnkdt yjt pjrshdnlly jxpjrg-

jdijk tmj whdkjrbul rjljnsj hb tjdsghd bhudk gd cndunl lnahr, sh G

kgkdt udkjrstndk wmy, nt tmj mjg`mt hb mjr arhfjd lgbj, smj whulk

aj bgxgd` tmj antmrhhc.G nssucjk shcjmhw tmj antmtua `rhut wns rjsphdsgalj bhr mjr

kgstrjss. Gk whrfjk hd inrs ndk hd plucagd` wmjrj hdj tmgd` nbtjr

ndhtmjr arhfj, aut cy usunl rjnitghd wns iursgd`, dht shaagd`.

Nt tmnt chcjdt, gt sjjcjk th cj, gb gt cnkj mjr [MN[ udmnppy,

cnyaj gt whulk aj ajst bhr mjr th sthp `rhutgd`. Gt oust kgkdt cnfj

ndy sjdsj.

Chtmjr, wmnts `hgd` hd8 G qujrgjk, mhpgd` th shrt hut tmgsstrnd`j sijdj.

Pgtmhut jvjd turdgd` th lhhf nt cj, smj spnt hut, Yh wmjd nrj

yhu`hgd` th ajtrny cj8!!! wgtm nll tmj sdnfj vjdhc smj ihulk

custjr. Ndk ajlgjvj cjsmj ihulk custjr n lht!

Mjr whrks bjlt lgfj n ihdstruitghd wrjifgd` anll mnk oust irnsmjk

gdth cy imjst. Cy mjnk stnrtjk spgddgd`, cy anlndij bnltjrjk ndk

G ihllnpsjk hd tmj thgljt sjnt. Gt wns tmj smhif hb mjrajtrnynl! Nbtjrmnvgd` lgstjdjk th yjnrs hb mjr udjdkgd` nd`jr nt cy bntmjr, tjll-

gd` cj mhw nwbul cjd nrj, tjllgd` cj mhw Gc oust lgfj mgc, ndk

bjjlgd` lgfj G mnk stnyjk supphrtgvj hb mjr tmrhu`m tmgif ndk tmgd,

wmglj kjspngrgd` tmnt smj bngljk th npprjigntj ndy hb cy jbbhrts th

ihdshlj mjr, shcjtmgd` sdnppjk. Gdsgkj cj, tmj chdstjr nrhsj. [mj

tjdsghd gd cy cusiljs tg`mtjdjk nlnrcgd`ly6 cy nd`jr wns pnlpnalj

ndk jxpndkgd` gdth cy mndks. Qjnlgzgd` tmj chdstjr wns lhhsj,G fdjw G djjkjk th snvj cysjlb ndk mjr. G knsmjk hut hb tmj antm-

rhhc, `rnaajk cy ihnt, sinrb, mnt ndk ahhts ndk ljbt.

Kncd, wmnt n kny th mnvj >1 gdimjs hb sdhw, G tmhu`mt, ns

tmj khhr slnccjk ajmgdk cj ndk G stnrtjk truk`gd` ngcljssly

tmrhu`m tmj sdhw. G wndkjrjk khwd hur strjjt th tmj cngd krn`

ndk hd gdth khwdthwd. Gt wns fgdk hb bud hdij G `ht `hgd`. Dh hdj

wns nrhudk6 G wns nlhdj wgtm cy tmhu`mts. [wjlvj gdimjs hb sdhwkhjs n `hhk oha hb cubblgd` nll shudk ndk sthppgd` tmj mustlj ndk

austlj hb kngly nitgvgtgjs. [mj strjjts wjrj ihcpljtjly jcpty, nash-

lutjly qugjt, ndk tmj sdhw mnk iljndjk tmj ngr. G wns audkljk up

dgij ndk wnrc. Gt wns rjnlly ajnutgbul, n wgdtjr whdkjrlndk. Jvjd

tmj djjk th truk`j tmrhu`m tmj kjjp sdhw wns `rjnt. Gt wns fgdk hb


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Mgkkjd Nitgvgtgjs hb tmj Cgdk | 19

ihcbhrtgd`, jxpjdkgd` cy nd`jr jdjr`y, `gvgd` cj tgcj th tmgdf,

`gvgd` cj n `hhk inrkgni whrfhut, cy mjnrt phudkgd` nwny gd cy

imjst, tmj bjjlgd` hb ajgd` irusmjk lgbtgd` `rnkunlly ns G plhkkjk

nlhd`. [mgs whulk mnvj ajjd n ajttjr wny bhr cy chtmjr th rjljnsjmjr nd`jr, G tmhu`mt.

[mj djxt kny, G bhudk hut tmnt smj mnk oust mnk n cnohr nr`u-

cjdt wgtm cy >2-yjnr-hlk sgstjr, mnk kgshwdjk mjr ndk tmjd

tmrjw mjr hut hb tmj mhusj. Nt tmj tgcj, G mnk dh wny hb fdhwgd`

tmnt cy chtmjrs bnvhrgtj pudgsmcjdt whulk ajihcj th kgshwd

wmgimjvjr imglk smj pjrijgvjk ns mnvgd` slg`mtjk mjr. Zdbhrtudntjly

ns smj `ht hlkjr, tmj pjrijgvjk slg`mts whulk ajihcj ag``jr ndk ag`-`jr, jvjd tmhu`m chst tgcjs tmjy wjrjdt slg`mts nt nll. Cgdk-Hvjr-

Cnttjr gd rjvjrsj8

Gb cgdk-hvjr-cnttjr ind irjntj rjsults gd cy lgbj ansjk hd

gcn`gdgd` tmj phsgtgvj, gs cy chtmjr irjntgd` dj`ntgvj rjsults usgd`

tmj sncj prgdigplj8 Ujhplj wmh mnvj suim mnrk lgvjs, ns smj kgkgs

shcj hb gt sjlb irjntjk8 G prnyjk tmnt G whulk dht bhllhw mjr pnttjrd

hb dj`ntgvj tmgdfgd`. Lgvgd` mns imnlljd`js jdhu`m wgtmhut irjntghdhb jxtrn dj`ntgvj jxpjrgjdijs. [mgs spnrfjk n qujstghd, Pmnt nitu-

nlly blhws tmrhu`m cy cgdk hd n kngly ansgs8 G kgkdt fdhw, mnvgd`

djvjr jvjd trgjk th wntim. Cy qujst ajifhdjk cj wgtm n djw tnsf?

jxncgdgd` cy kngly sthrgjs th sjj wmnt cy gcn`gdntghd wns khgd`

ajmgdk cy anif!

Jxjrigsj 9? Kngly Gcn`gdntghd Ythrgjs

Pmnt sthrgjs khjs yhur gcn`gdntghd mgkj gd yhur kngly tmhu`mts8

Kh yhur tmhu`mts bhllhw pnttjrds8 Lhhf nt tmj `jdjrnl thdj hb yhur

tmhu`mts ns n wmhlj. Nrj tmjy brjqujdtly dj`ntgvj8 Nrj tmjy bhiusjk

hd suiijss hr bnglurj8 Khdt lhhf nt tmj ihdtjdt, lhhf nt tmj `jdjrnlbhius.


32/143

0Qhcndtgi Kjthurs

Zdsurprgsgd`ly, chst hb cy kngly sthrgjs wjrj rntmjr prjkgitnalj bhrcy n`j? Bud ndk sjx!

Cy bgrst lhvj ndk suasjqujdt arhfjd mjnrt wjrj nt tmj mndks hb

n @rjjf `grl dncjk Dntnlgj. Mjr smhulkjr ljd`tm mngr wns alnif ns

tmj dg`mt, mjr mgps bull ndk mjr arjnsts scnll. Ymj mnk wmnt G lntjr

kuaajk ns bgrj gd tmj ajlly, tmj gdtjdsj jdjr`y jcndntgd` brhc mjr

mgps tmnt sngk, G wns ahrd th mnvj n imglk, th lgvj tmj cytm hb tmj

chtmjr! Dntnlgj wns ajnutgbul. Pj wjrj ahtm >=. Mjr knrf jyjsjxprjssjk lhvj, nd`jr ndk pnssghd wgtm suim bjrhigty smj sjjcjk th

trndsbhrc gdth tmj cytmhlh`ginl @rjjf `hk hb wmntjvjr jchtghd

smj wns jxprjssgd`.

Hd hdj hiinsghd, ns G wns mhlkgd` mjr ilhsjsmj shbtly sngk, Yn

@n Uh. Gts @rjjf bhr G lhvj yhu.

[mnts swjjt, G sngk, Yh, tjnim cj shcj iursj whrks gd

@rjjf. G khdt tmgdf smj wns jspjignlly mnppy G nsfjk nt tmntchcjdt, aut hm wjll.

Mhhrudjy Yintn smj sngk.

[mnt shudks `hhk, wmnt khjs gt cjnd8 G pusmjk.

Iurtly smj sngk, Ug` Ymgt.

Dntnlgj ndk G mnk `hhk tgcjs. Pj rhutgdjly wnlfjk th ndk


33/143

Qhcndtgi Kjthurs | 1:

brhc incpus th`jtmjr ndk hdj pnrtgiulnr kny, G sukkjdly `rnaajk

mjr ndk pulljk mjr th cj. Kncd gt bjlt sh `hhk th mnvj mjr ilhsj. G

lhvjk mjr scjll ndk G ihulkdt mjlp aut dhtgij mhw hur ahkgjs oust

cjltjk gdth jnim htmjr. Ns wj sthhk tmjrj, hdly pnrt hb cj ihulk ajgd ihdtnit wgtm mjr nt ndy `gvjd chcjdt ndk G wndtjk th bjjl nll hb

mjr prjssjk n`ngdst cj nt hdj tgcj. Gt wns brustrntghd cgxjk wgtm

pljnsurj, lgfj tmj ojt gd n mht tua mgttgd` yhur anif cusiljs, ihnx-

gd` yhur anif th rjlnx, bjjlgd` sh rjouvjdntgd`, aut nlns, th `jt tmj

sncj bjjlgd` gd yhur lj`s, yhu mnk th smgbt th wmjrj gt kgkdt `jt th

yhur anif ndychrj. Ajgd` nalj th hdly thuim n lgttlj hb hur ahkgjs

th`jtmjr nt hdj tgcj wns swjjt thrturj!Gd nd nttjcpt th ihjrij hur ahkgjs gdth prhlhd`jk ihdtnit, wj

bjll gdth n sglly vjrsghd hb tmj `ncj hb twgstjr. G prjtjdkjk smj wns

n lncpphst G wns trygd` th pjjf nrhudk, yjllgd` lhukly, Pmjrj kgk

Dntnlgj `h8 Ymj gccjkgntjly `ht gd tmj `rhhvj ndk prjtjdkjk th

pjjf nrhudk cj, yjllgd`, Lnrry, wmjrj nrj yhu8 [mgs jsinlntjk

gdth sjnrimgd` bnr ndk wgkj bhr jnim htmjr, hur ahkgjs gdtjrtwgdgd`

ns jnim hb us trgjk th hutkh tmj htmjr gd hutrn`jhus phsturjs wmgljjxpjitgd` hur pnrtdjr th irjntj shcj bhrc hb stnaglgty. Luifgly, wj

kgkdt bnll hvjr!

[mnt gcprhcptu twgstjr `ncj `ht cj nll rgljk up ndk lntjr wj

mnk hur bgrst sjxunl jxpjrgjdij th`jtmjr. Djgtmjr hb us wns rjnky

th `h nll tmj wny, aut mnlb-wny sjjcjk th whrf oust bgdj, hur mndks

ndk thd`ujs suastgtutgd` bhr chrj sjrghus nppjdkn`js. Ilucsy gs ns

ilucsy khjs, aut gt wns n lht hb bud dhdjtmjljss. Nbtjrwnrks, wmgljwj wjrj iukklgd` th`jtmjr smj stnrtjk irygd`. Hm, dh G tmhu`mt,

Cy bgrst tgcj hut ndk nlrjnky Gvj `ht mjr udmnppy jdhu`m th iry!

Ymj nssurjk cj mjr irygd` wns `hhk.

Ajyhdk tmj sjdsunl ilhsjdjss wj smnrjk, Dntnlgj ndk G mnk n vjry

gdtugtgvj ihddjitghd. G ihulk aj `hgd` nahut cy kny ndk sukkjdly G

whulk tmgdf hb mjr6 smjk oust php gdth cy mjnk. Hdj tgcj G `ht tmj

vjry iljnr tmhu`mt, Gb G h nrhudk tmgs auglkgd`, G wgll rud gdth mjr.Yurj jdhu`m, G wjdt nrhudk tmj auglkgd` ndk tmjrj smj wns.

Dntnlgj ndk G mnk htmjr jxpjrgjdijs tmnt ihdvgdijk cj wj wjrj

ihddjitjk nt n mg`mjr ljvjl. Hdj suim jxpjrgjdij sthhk hut ndk

nitunlly turdjk hut th aj usjbul. Dntnlgj wns nd nrtgst nlwnys inrry-

gd` n sfjtim pnk. Ymj mnk ihcj hvjr gd tmj nbtjrdhhd th mnd` hut


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| [mj Ytukjdt12

ndk kh mhcjwhrf. Kurgd` hdj strjtim arjnf, G thhf nkvndtn`j hb

mjr trgp th tmj rjstrhhc ndk `rnaajk mjr krnwgd` pnk. G wrhtj gd

mu`j inpgtnl ljttjrs hd tmj sjihdk th lnst pn`j hb mjr pnk, Dntnlgj,

Whur Ypjignl.Wjs G nkcgt gt, G spjlljk Whurj gdihrrjitly, sh suj cj.

Yjvjrnl knys lntjr, smj inlljk cj gd `rjnt kgstrjss. Ymj mnk ajjd

whrfgd` hd n pnrtgiulnr krnwgd`, shcj bhrc hb bngry wgtm wgd`s ndk

n blhwgd` `hwd, qugtj n kjtngljk krnwgd`.

G ndswjrjk tmj pmhdj ndk wns `rjjtjk wgtm shasMjy Dntnlgj,

wmnts wrhd`8sdgbbljs ndk shaschrj shas, [jll cj! G pljnkjk.

Dh rjsphdsj jxijpt chrj sdgbbljs ndk shas. Nbtjr n bjw cgdutjswgtm hdly sdgbbljs ndk shas ihcgd` brhc tmj htmjr jdk hb tmj

pmhdj lgdj, G thhf nitghd.

Lhhf nt tmj sjihdk th lnst pn`j hb yhur krnwgd` pnk, G thlk

mjr, trygd` th shudk lhvgd` yjt qugjtly ihccndkgd`.

Ymj nrùjk wgtm cj, Pmy smhulk G kh tmnt8 Gs tmgs shcjtmgd`

stupgk8!!! incj tmj niiusntghd. G fdjw smj whulk nrùj. Pmy kh

whcjd nlwnys nrùj8Dh. G gdsgstjk, Gts dht shcjtmgd` stupgk, oust lhhf nt tmj sji-

hdk th lnst pn`j. Phcjd!

Bgdnlly smj niqugjsijkrjlgjbmjr shas imnd`jk th lgttlj lnu`ms.

Whu spjlljk -Whurj - gdihrrjitly. smj phgdtjk hut, aut G ihulk mjnr

tmj scglj gd mjr vhgij ns smj sngk gt, sh gt bjlt nll wnrc ndk buzzy.

N`ngd, Phcjd!

G spglljk ihbbjj hd cy bngry krnwgd`, wns nll tmj jxplndntghdG jvjr `ht bhr tmj tjcpjstuhus pmhdj inll. Nbtjr smj mnk n ihuplj

knys rjihvjry tgcj, smj rjdncjk mjr krnwgd`, Rgithrgn ncgksttmj

ihbbjj.

Yhcjtgcjs tmj hlk nkn`j, nll `hhk tmgd`s cust ihcj th nd jdk

gs nitunlly truj. Nbtjr nahut dgdj chdtms hb kntgd`, (thwnrk tmj jdk

hb succjr), Dntnlgj sjjcjk th aj `rhwgd` kgstndt. Pmnts `hgd`

hd8 G gdqugrjk sjvjrnl tgcjs ajbhrj smj bgdnlly nkcgttjk smj wnsstnrtgd` th sjj n ùy smj cjt nt whrf ndk whulkdt aj kntgd` cj

ndychrj.

Irnsm! Irnsm ndk aurd! [mnt murt! Yh tmgs gs wmnt nll tmj

ihudtry shd`s nrj nahut, G cusjk th cysjlb. Yhcjhdj `nvj cj n

ahhf nahut ljttgd` `h hb lhvj ndk tmnt wgsj hlk snygd`, Gb yhu lhvj


35/143

Qhcndtgi Kjthurs | 10

shcjtmgd` ljt gt `h. Gb gt ihcjs anif th yhu, gts yhurs6 gb gt khjsdt,

gt djvjr wns jdtjrjk cy lgbj.

PjllDntnlgj djvjr wns. Bhr tmj rjst hb tmj succjr G incj th

fdhw gdtgcntjly Djgl Kgnchdks cndy shd`s kjvhtjk th mjnrtnimjndk G wrhtj lhts hb ank phjtry.

Lhvj

Lhvj tmnt G mnk

Hm gs dhw sh snk

Mhw ind smj bhr`jt8Mgkj8

G`dhrj8

Kjdy.

G nc `jttgd` strhd`,

Qjnlgzgd` cy phtjdtgnl!

Ndk n lgttlj lntjr,

G nc stgll murt.

G indt smut hbb tmj bjjlgd`

Lhvj

Gts `hdj.

Inrgd`G try dhtGt khjsdt whrf.

Murt ljnvjs nwmglj, tmjd

Yukkjdly, Qjturds.

G kh dht bnltjr ns bnr ns ajbhrj

G slgkj khwd tmrjj rud`s

Qntmjr tmnd sjvjd.

Aljnm!


36/143

=Mg`mjr Ihddjitghds th tmj Hdjs Pj Lhvj

[mjy sny, th `jt hvjr hdj lhvj, yhu djjk th bgdk ndhtmjr. [mntsmhw gt wjdt wgtm cy Dntnlgj mjnrtnimj. Cnrgn wns n thu`m-ns-dngls

Nkkgitghd Qjihvjry Ihudsjlhr. Ymj brjqujdtly, muchrhusly,

kjsirgajk tmj tmjrnpy `rhups smj ljk nt tmj lhinl pjdgtjdtgnry, ihc-

pljtj wgtm krncntgi ihdbrhdtntghds wgtm nd`ry, nkkgitjk prgshdjrs.

Jnim hb mjr niihudts shudkjk ns gb smj bjlt luify th `jt hut nlgvj6

yjt, fdhwgd` mjr, G bjlt shrry bhr ndy prgshdjr wmh knrjk irhss mjr.

Ymj sthhk anrjly bgvj bhht bgvj gdimjs tnll aut pnifjk tmj bgrj hb nmndk `rjdnkj.

Cnrgn ndk G cjt tmrhu`m hur lhinl Intmhlgi Imurim. [mj

imurim wns udusunl gd tmnt tmj prgjst ndk hr`ndgzjrs nllhwjk pnrgsm-

ghdjrs th ljnk cnss. [mj prgjst wns rjsphdsgalj bhr tmhsj gtjcs

tmnt nrj rjqugrjk ay tmj prgjst, ljnvgd` tmj pnrgsmghdjrs th hr`ndgzj

wmntjvjr nkkgtghdnl prjsjdtntghds tmjy wndtjk. G cjt Cnrgn kurgd`

hdj hb tmj cnssjs wmjrj tmj hr`ndgzjr mnk us prjsjdt nd gdtjrprj-tgvj kndij bhr hdj hb tmj Intmhlgi mhlgknys. Cnrgn wns n prjtty

`hhk chkjrd kndijr ndk lhhfjk `rjnt gd n ahky sugt nt kndij

prnitgij. Ymj mnk lhd`, knrf arhwd mngr ndk knrf arhwd jyjs. Mjr

rhudk rucp prjsjdtjk whdkjrbully gd n bhrc-mu``gd` purplj ahky

sugt. Mjy, wmh snys imurim indt aj bud8!! Nbtjr sjjgd` mjr ahudij


37/143

Mg`mjr Ihddjitghds th tmj Hdjs Pj Lhvj | 17

nrhudk gd tmj imurim kndij, G nsfjk mjr hut. Ymj n`rjjk nbtjr n

slg`mt mjsgtntghd. [mnt mjsgtntghd wns oust jdhu`m th cnfj cj

udjnsy. G whdkjrjk wmnt wns rjnlly `hgd` hd ajmgdk tmj sijdjs, aut

sgdij G ihulkdt put cy bgd`jr hd gt, G tmhu`mt G stgll mnk n imndijrhcndtginlly. Pj wjdt hut n ducajr hb tgcjs, jnim tgcj stnygd` nt

n plnthdgi ljvjl. Pmjd G whulk put cy nrc nrhudk mjr, smj kgkdt

rjsphdk. Gt wns ns gb G wns tmjrj nlhdj wgtm cy nrc nrhudk jcpty

spnij. Ytgll G wns bnllgd` bhr mjr.

Pj mnk n `rjnt ihddjitghd wmjd wj tnlfjk ndk smnrjk gkjns,

spjdkgd` mhurs hd tmj pmhdj ndk gd ihbbjj smhps jxplhrgd` jnim

htmjrs pmglhshpmgjs hb lgbj, ajlgjbs ndk nkvjdturjs. Ymj wns tmj bgrstwhcnd Gk jvjr mnk kgsiussghds wgtm ihdijrdgd` tmj chst gdtgcntj

kjtngls hb cy ajlgjbs. Pj wjrj `jttgd` vjry ilhsj jchtghdnlly, yjt stgll

dht pmysginlly ihddjitgd`. G wnsdt surj wmnt tmgs cjndt.

Hdj nbtjrdhhd nbtjr bgdgsmgd` hur ihbbjj gd n dgij lgttlj Agstrh hbb

Khwdjr Nvjduj (dh pud gdtjdkjk) jvjrytmgd` ajincj iljnr. Pmjd

G trgjk th fgss mjr, smj turdjk mjr mjnk nwny. Cy mjnk spudbjnrs

nahut cysjlb phppgd` gdth cy cgdk, dht `hhk jdhu`m, dht mndk-shcj jdhu`mjtijti. Cy brustrntghd rjnimjk n pjnf, krgvgd` cj

th `ntmjr cy ihurn`j ndk nsf, Pmnts `hgd` hd8 G tmhu`mt wj wjrj

`jttgd` ilhsj6 yjt yhu nrjdt hpjd th cj pmysginlly. Hb ihursj, ay

nsfgd`, G wns hpjdgd` cy mjnrt burtmjr, ljnvgd` cy bntj gd mjr mndks.

Cnrgns ihdijrdjk lhhf sngk gt nll. Mjrj gt ihcjs, G tmhu`mt, oust

brgjdks. Ymyly smj thlk cj, Gc gdtjrjstjk gd Brndf. Brndf mnp-

pjdjk th aj ndhtmjr `uy gd tmj imurim kndij tmnt G nlwnys sjjcjkth aj gd ihcpjtgtghd wgtm. Ahy wns G pgssjk! Ymj rjojits cj bhr cy

cngd ihcpjtgtghd! G sthrcjk hut bjjlgd` uttjrly ajtrnyjk. Gb hdly smj

mnk ajjd up brhdtgb hdly.N strgd` hb alncj rnd tmrhu`m cy cgdk.

Chrj sjnrgd` tmhu`mts ahgljk up, Ymhulk G aj brgjdks wgtm mjr8 Pns

smj kgsmhdjst8 Pmy kgkdt smj tjll cj8 Ndk tmj gddjr irhsstnlf wns

oust `jttgd` stnrtjk! Cy tmhu`mts ajincj ihdvhlutjk, lgfj n mg`mwny

kjthur sg`d tmnt bgrst turds yhu ljbt, tmjd rg`mt, tmjd khualjs anif,tmjd mhps hvjrhd ndk hdgdtjdsgty gdirjnsgd` ns jnim djwly-pjrih-

lntjk qujstghd wjdt udndswjrjk. G khdt fdhw wmnt G smhulk ajlgjvj

ndychrj!!!!!!! Phcjd nlwnys sjdk cj gdth n tnglspgd.

Luifgly, cy oha nt tmj tgcj wns truif krgvgd` ndk G mnk n smgbt

tmnt dg`mt. Krgvgd` mns nlwnys ajjd n whdkjrbul rjljnsj bhr cj6


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| [mj Ytukjdt95

cn`ginl, cy iurj bhr nll glls. [mj hpjd rhnklntj nt dg`mtcgllghds

hb stnrsdh hdj nrhudkjd`gdj purrgd` ndk tmj knrf dg`mt blhw-

gd` ay lgfj n shbt arjjzj hd cy bnij. G ihulk ljt cy cgdk phdkjr nll

cnddjr hb qujstghds, nllhw jchtghds th bucj, ljt nd`jr jrupt gdthlhuk yjllgd`, nll gd tmj snbjty hb cy lgttlj cjtnl ahx ahudigd` khwd

tmj mg`mwny.

Aut nlns, tmj rhnk hd tmgs bntjbul dg`mt mnk twh purphsjs? th kh

cy oha, ndk th rjljnsj Cnrgn brhc cy mjnrt.

Lntj gd tmj dg`mt nbtjr cy lnst sthp, ns tmj rhutj stnrtjk th wgdk

khwd, n scnll thwd inlljk Fgjl incj gdth cy mjnklg`mts. Fgjl gs n

iutj lgttlj Pgsihdsgd thwd, vjry cuim lgfj htmjr Cgkwjst thwdswgtm lhts hb jlj`ndt argif surrhudkjk ay lnr`j trjjs mnd`gd` hvjr

tmj rhnks, smrhukgd` tmjc lgfj n tuddjl. Gts hdj hb tmhsj rjspgtjs

nwny brhc tmj ag` igty. G mnk ajjd mjrj ajbhrj, cndy tgcjs6 gd tmj

cgkklj hb tmj dg`mt nt tmj jk`j hb thwd, sgttgd` djxt th Fgjls swgbtly

blhwgd` strjnc, lgstjdgd` th tmj wntjr, jdohygd` tmj pjnij.

Ytjjrgd` cy truif gdth tmj pnrfgd` lht djxt th tmj strjnc, tmj

arnfjs cnkj tmj rjqugsgtj mgss nt cy pull hd tmj ngr arnfj ljvjr. Gdbrhdt hb cj, ducjrhus anrajquj pgts wjrj sinttjrjk nrhudk wgtm dh

rmycj dhr rjnshd, lgfj cnraljs hd n plny`rhudk gd n imglks `ncj.

[h cy rg`mt, G ihulk mjnr tmj `ur`lgd` b lhw hb tmj strjnc ncgkst

tmj dg`mts sgljdij. Mhppgd` khwd brhc tmj hpjd ina khhr, cy

bjjlgd`s bhr Cnrgn stnrtjk blhwgd` udnantjk. N pnrf gd Pgsihdsgd

gd n scnll thwdnt tmrjj gd tmj chrdgd`prhvgkjs udgdtjrruptjk

shlgtukj. Dh inrs, dh pjhplj, dh chsqugthjs. G wnlfjk ndk G tnlfjk.G tnlfjk th Cnrgn ns gb smj wjrj tmjrj wgtm cj, jxplngdgd` mhw G bjlt,

mhw G lhvjk mjr, mhw G wns irusmjk ay mjr rjvjlntghd hb lhvj bhr

ndhtmjr. Cy ihdvjrsntghd blhwjk bhrtm, stnrtgd` lgfj n wgdk sthrc,

pgifgd` up kjsjrt sndk ndk tmrhwgd` gt jvjry wmgim wny`rnkunlly

inlcgd` th n `jdtlj arjjzj rhifgd` tmj trjjs anif ndk bhrtm, ns gb

gd n chtmjrs nrcsndk bgdnlly, nbtjr nlchst ;: cgdutjs, G bhudk

pjnij. Bhr`gvjdjss blhwjk. G rjnlgzjk G lhvjk mjr wmjtmjr smj lhvjkcj hr dht. Gt wns H.F.

Cy jchtghdnl alhhkljttgd` mnk tnfjd cj sjvjrnl tgcjs nrhudk

tmj pnrf, wnlfgd`, kgsiussgd`, iursgd`6 wgdkgd` up djnr tmj anif hb

cy truif. G mhppjk up hd tmj truif ndk snt hd tmj aucpjr. Lhhfgd`

nt tmj sfy, G nkkrjssjk Cnrgn kgrjitly, lhukly prhilngcgd` G bhr`nvj


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Mg`mjr Ihddjitghds th tmj Hdjs Pj Lhvj | 9>

mjr, mhpgd` smj ihulk bhr`gvj cj ndk tmnt gb smj mhhfjk up wgtm

Brndfgt wns bgdj. N blhhk hb rjlgjb phurjk tmrhu`m cj ndk G wjpt.

Gt wns 9?:5 n.c. G djjkjk th `jt tmj truif anif bhr tmj djxt smgbt

sh G mhppjk khwd brhc tmj aucpjr ndk cnkj bhr tmj ina.Cnrgn ndk G sphfj sjvjrnl knys lntjr. G thlk mjr nahut cy truif

sthp kgsiussghd. Pmnt tgcj kgk tmgs mnppjd8 smj nsfjk.

Pmy8 G rjsphdkjk tmgdfgd` gt wns nd udusunl qujstghd.

Mjr arhw burrhwjk ndk n kgstndt, pjdsgvj lhhf sprjnk nirhss

mjr bnij. G whfj up nahut tmrjj gd tmj chrdgd`, smj sngk, dht

mud`ry, dht tmgrsty, dht nalj th sljjp. [mjd oust ajbhrj bhur, G `ht n

bjjlgd` hb pjnij ndk wns nalj th `h anif th sljjp n`ngd.Gb G mnk ndy khuats nahut pjhplj ajgd` ihddjitjk nt n mg`mjr

ljvjl, tmjy nll kgsnppjnrjk wgtm tmnt stntjcjdt.

Dhw tmnt hur brgjdksmgp wns anif hd jvjd `rhudk, Cnrgn

pusmjk cj th ihdtnit n ihudsjlhr, cnyaj brhc n bjjlgd` hb ùglt,

cnyaj brhc n truj kjsgrj th sjj cj `jt pnst cy rjpjntjk ups ndk

khwds wgtm whcjd. Gd rjsphdsj, G ajchndjk cy bntj, Gc lhhf-

gd` bhr n cnlj rhlj chkjl6 n ùy wmh mns suiijss wgtm whrf ndkwhcjd. Gc tgrjk hb cnfgd` gt up ns G `h nlhd`, G sngk grrgtnaly.

Cy bntmjr wns sh cjssjk up, ndk cy chtmjr wns sh pgssjk hbb nt

cjd, G khdt fdhw wmgim jdk gs up, G ihdilukjk, vhgigd` cy `rhw-

gd` brustrntghd. [mjd th lg`mtjd tmj chhk, G kgk cy ajst ljjrgd`

gcgtntghd hb n cnimh ihdstruitghd whrfjr, Mjy Anayyn `ht ndy

su``jstghds8

Ymj lhhfjk lnu`mgd`ly nt cj, mjr jyjs ajihcgd` lgttlj slgts,Inll tmgs ùy dncjk Cnrf, mjll `jt yhu hd trnif. Cnrf turdjk

hut th aj nd jx-mgppy wmh ihudsjljk rjturdgd` vjtjrnds kurgd` tmj

Rgjtdnc jrn. Mj wns n cnssgvj ùy, sgx bhht sgx, tmj fgdk wmh ihulk

plny ansfjtanll gd mgs sljjp, yjt wgtm n rjnl khwd-th-jnrtm, `jdtlj

pjrshdnlgty. Nt hur bgrst cjjtgd` wj kgsiussjk cy `hnl hb `jttgd`

hvjr cy aljjkgd` mjnrt, ndk nltmhu`m G wns mjsgtndt nt bgrst, cy ùt

gdstgdit thlk cj th trust mgc.Cnrf whulk turd hut th aj pgvhtnl gd cy Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr qujst.


40/143

| [mj Ytukjdt91

Jxjrigsj ;? Ihddjitghd th Htmjrs

Mnvj yhu jvjr dhtgijk ndy sg`ds hb ajgd` ihddjitjk th htmjrs8

Jvjr fdhw wmh wns nt tmj htmjr jdk hb tmj tjljpmhdj wmjd gt rnd`8Mhw nahut tmj stntjcjdt, G wns oust tmgdfgd` hb yhu wmjd yhu

inlljk8


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7Prjstlgd` Pgtm Gdtjrdnl Irhsstnlf

[mj djxt kny, cy mjsgtndiy rjturdjk. Cnyaj Gc oust dht rjnkyth kh tmgs. Cnyaj G djjk chrj tgcj. Cnyaj G khdt mnvj tmj ihur-

n`j. Cnyaj Gc oust cjssjk up nll phurjk bhrtm brhc cy cgdk.

[mgs irhsstnlf, tmgs sjihdk ùjssgd`, mnk nlwnys ajjd n plnùj bhr

cj. Brgjdks rjpjntjkly thlk cj G wns thh irgtginl hb cysjlb. Lg`mtjd

up, tmjy sngk. Bhr tmj bgrst tgcj, G snw wmnt tmjy wjrj snygd`. Cy

hwd gdtjrdnl irhsstnlf wns cy whrst jdjcy. N pmglhshpmjr hdij

sngk, Gvj sjjd tmj jdjcy ndk tmj jdjcy gs cj. Yukkjdly, gdrjsphdsj th sjjgd` tmj irhsstnlf ns nd gdtjrdnl jdjcy, n smgbt mnp-

pjdjk ndk G ajincj sjpnrntj brhc tmj irhsstnlf, rntmjr tmnd tmj

tnr`jt. Gt wns lgfj wntimgd` n scnll chvgj gd cy mjnk gd wmgim tmj

nithr wns cj ndk tmj nukgjdij wns cj. [mgs wns n lgttlj wjgrk ndk

tmrjw cj hbb anlndij. Cy bjjlgd`s rnd`jk brhc kjtnimcjdt th thtnl

nashrptghd gd tmj chvgj.

Cnrf ndk G wjrj sgttgd` gd mgs hbbgij, mj gd mgs alnif ljntmjrimngr ndk G gd tmj ihcby rjk imngr wgtm nll tmj pgllhws. Mj wns nsf-

gd` cj qujstghds ndk su``jstgd` gkjns th mjnl cy mjnrt.

[mj chvgj wns n rjplny hb cy sjssghd wgtm mgc tmj prjvghus

kny. G dhtgijk tmnt bhr jnim su``jstghd Cnrf cnkj, cy irhsstnlf

incj up wgtm n ihudtjr nrùcjdt jxplngdgd` wmy gt whulkdt whrf.


42/143

| [mj Ytukjdt9;

Gd tmj chvgj, nt bgrst G wjdt nlhd` wgtm tmj irhsstnlf, oust lgfj n ljc-

cgd` mjnkjk bhr n ilgbb. @jdtly, cy vgsghd hpjdjk burtmjr, zhhc-

gd` hut hd cy hwd lgbj. G snw tmnt cy usunl wny hb lgvgd` wns th `h

nlhd` wgtm tmj irhsstnlf, djvjr nrùj, djvjr sny, Mjy, tmnt irhsstnlfkhjsdt cnfj sjdsj! G oust bhllhwjk nlhd`.

Ns gb gd rjsphdsj th zhhcgd` hut, tmj hasjrvjr gd cj jxncgdjk

shcj hb tmj irhsstnlf ihcgd` up th anttlj Cnrfs su``jstghds. Cnrf

sngk, Whu ihulk kh vhludtjjr whrf tmnt yhu wjrj gdtjrjstjk gd,

suim ns bhr yhur imurim, ndk cjjt whcjd tmnt wny. Cy irhsstnlf

rjsphdkjk wgtm, Aut G trgjk tmnt wgtm Cnrgn ndk smj kucpjk cj.

@gvjd tmjrj wjrj n lht hb htmjr whcjd nt cy imurim, gt ajincjiljnrtmj nrùcjdt usjk ay cy irhsstnlf wnsdt rjnlly vnlgk.Gt wns

chrj lgfj n fdjj ojrf rjsphdsj hut hb bjnr. Qjbljxjs cnkj wgtmhut

tmhu`mt6 ajgd` hd nuthcntgi pglht. Ns G wntimjk tmj chvgj udbhlk,

ndhtmjr irhsstnlf stntjcjdt gccjkgntjly ihddjitjk cj th gts

hrg`gds? cy chtmjrs irgtginl whrks, wmgim smj sh brjqujdtly ndk

`jdjrhusly hbbjrjk.

[mj chvgj smgbtjk th n cjchry wmjrj G wns lhnkgd` n lnr`jwhhkjd imjst gdth mjr inr. Nbtjr G hpjdjk mjr trudf th put tmj

imjst gd, smj scu`ly stntjk, [mnts n ljsshd gd butglgty! Ymj prj-

sjdtjk gt wgtm mjr usunl nigkgi thdnlgty ns gb tmjrj wns shcjtmgd`

wrhd` wgtm cy trygd` th put tmj imjst gd tmj trudf. Mjr whrks jlgi-

gtjk cgxjk bjjlgd`s hb nd`jr ndk mucglgntghd. Pns G sh kuca tmnt

G ihulkdt sjj tmj imjst wns thh ag` bhr tmj trudf8 Pmnt nd gkght G

nc. Lhhfgd` anif th tmj nitunljxpjrgjdij, G kgk`jt tmj imjst gd tmjtrudf, sh mjr stntjcjdt wns wny hbb ansj. Mjr stntjcjdt prhanaly

auaaljk up brhc mjr hwd udjdkgd` irhsstnlf. Zdbhrtudntjly, ajgd`

gd ljccgd` chkj, G ahu`mt gdth mjr dj`ntgvj nttgtukj ndk wnlfjk

nwny bjjlgd` mucglgntjk. Yh mjrj G wns, iurrjdt kny, wntimgd` cy

chvgj, imhhsgd` wmjtmjr hr dht th `h th ihudsjlgd` wgtm Cnrf

ansjk hd pnst jxpjrgjdijljttgd` cy irhsstnlf rud cy lgbj. G djjkjk th

imnd`j tmnt!Pmglj wntimgd` tmgs gdtjrdnl vgkjh, ndhtmjr tmgd` ajincj iljnr.

[mj fdjj ojrf irhsstnlf nlwnys mnk nd hpgdghd hd jvjrytmgd`. Bhr

ndy gkjn prjsjdtjk, gt mnk th mnvj n rjauttnl. Gt ihulkdt rjcngd

qugjt, ihulkdt nvhgk nrùgd`, jvjd wmjd gts rjauttnl wns oust plngd

sglly. [mj irgtginl ihdtjdt kgkdt rjnlly cnttjr, jvjd tmj gkjn ajgd`


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Prjstlgd` Pgtm Gdtjrdnl Irhsstnlf | 9:

rjaufjk kgkdt cnttjr6 nll tmnt cnttjrjk wns tmnt n irgtginl rjaufj

(dh cnttjr mhw lukgirhus) wns prjsjdtjk. Hdj gkjn jnrds hdj irgtg-

inl rjaufj? tmnts tmj bhrculn. [mj irhsstnlf cust mnvj tmj lnst

whrk6 tmhsj nrj tmj ruljs. Pmnt n wny th lgvj.G kjigkjk th ihdtgduj cy sjssghds wgtm Cnrf. Cnyaj G ihulk

tncj tmj irhsstnlf ajnst.

Nbtjr kjigkgd` th ihdtgduj wgtm ihudsjlgd`, gt hiiurrjk th

cj Cnrf cg`mt fdhw `ugkjk gcn`jry ns n tjimdgquj bhr kjnlgd`

wgtm cy kjchdsjxnitly wmnt Gk ajjd sjnrimgd` bhr. Nd hlk _jd

Aukkmgst snygd` gs? Pmjd tmj stukjdt gs rjnky tmj tjnimjr wgll

ihcj. Yh Cnrf wns cy tjnimjr. Mj ihulk tjnim cj nahut Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr. Pj kgsiussjk tmgs ndk mj n`rjjk th jxplhrj gt wgtm cj.

Kurgd` hdj sjssghd, Cnrf sngk, Zsgd` yhur gcn`gdntghd, gts

gcphrtndt th kjvjlhp n plnij wmjrj yhu bjjl sjiurj. [mjd, usj

tmnt gcn`j th ihudtjr bjjlgd`s hb gdsjiurgty. Mjy, tmnt shudks

`rjnt, G sngk, Gk lhvj th kjvjlhp n plnij wmjrj G bjjl sjiurj.

Nlrg`mt, mj sngk, sgt anif ndk irjntj nd gcn`j hb n lhifjk khhr

tmnt hdly yhu ind udlhif. Gd yhur gcn`j, usj ns cndy pmysginlsjdsjs ns yhu ind th cnfj tmj khhr sjjc ns rjnl ns phssgalj. Nmn,

mj wns rjgdbhrigd` tmj gkjn hb usgd` tmj pmysginl sjdsjs th cnfj

tmj gcn`j chrj rjnl.

Gvj nlwnys ajjd nd jd`gdjjr nt mjnrt, hvjrauglkgd` jvjry-

tmgd`. Jvjd n whrlk intnstrhpmj ihulkdt argd` khwd cy hvjr-

auglt irjntghds ndk tmgs khhr gcn`j wns dh kgbbjrjdt. Zphd mjnr-

gd` mgs rjqujst, cy ndnlysgs sgkj gccjkgntjly khvj gdth tmj tnsfhb kjsg`dgd` n sjiurj khhr hdly udlhifjk ay cj. Bgrst gt whulk

djjk n bhrij bgjlk th rjpjl gdtrukjrs ndk sjihdk gt djjkjk th

kgsnppjnr wmjd G wnsdt usgd` gt. [mj pjrbjit khhr. G rjlnxjk ndk

bhiusjk hd tmj gcn`j. Jnsy, pgjij hb infj6 ihudsjlgd` wns stnrt-

gd` th aj bud. Zphd tmgs tmhu`mt, cy cgdk stnrtjk th wndkjr

bhius Lnrry, bhius. Qjcjcajr, pnrt hb irjntgd` n `hhk gcn`j gs

bhius. Bhius hd tmj khhr! Nlrg`mt, G mnvj nd gcn`j hb cy khhrndk ind bjjl cy mndk hd tmj khhrfdha ndk mjnr tmj mgd`js

irjnfgd` ns G hpjd gt.

[mj khhr hpjdjk hdth n cjkguc sgzj rhhc, shrt hb n cjkginl

hbbgij/lhud`j nrjn/rjsjnrim nrjn/bgrj pgt. G wnlfjk gd, inrjbully stjp-

pgd` khwd tmj sjvjrnl stngrs th tmj blhhr. [mj tjcpjrnturj gd tmj


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| [mj Ytukjdt92

rhhc wns pjrbjit, fgdk hb lgfj @hlkglhifs phrrgk`j. [mgs gs fgdk

hb n ihhl gcn`j, G tmhu`mt. G whdkjr wmnt wgll mnppjd djxt8

Cnrf nsfjk cj th lhhf th tmj rg`mt ndk gkjdtgby wmnt wns gd tmj

rhhc. Hd cy rg`mt wns tmj bgrj pgt. Gt wns nd gdtjrjstgd` bgrj pgt gdtmnt gt mnk n mhlj gd tmj ijdtjr. G ihulk lhwjr gtjcs gdth gt hr pull

tmjc hut hb tmj ijdtjr. Djnr tmj bgrj pgt wns n rjk vgdyl ihuim, tmj

fgdk tmnt wns phpulnr anif gd tmj :5s hr 25s ndk whulk aj ihd-

sgkjrjk mgkjhus ay thknys stndknrks. Pmh fdhws wmjrj G `ht tmnt

gcn`j (cnyaj brhc cy pnrjdts hlk rjk stntghd wn`hd), hr wmy gt

whulk aj ihddjitjk th gddjr sjiurgty bhr cj. Aut tmgs wns gcn`gdnry

ndk gt kgk jxukj ihcbhrt, sh wmnt tmj mjif. Ajmgdk tmj bgrj pgt wjrjtwh khhrs wmgim Cnrf sngk, nrj tmjrj bhr n vjry spjigbgi rjnshd.

Pj cny djvjr djjk tmjc. Zdbhrtudntjly, wj kgkdt djjk tmjc sh G

djvjr snw wmnt wns ajmgdk khhr ducajr hdjhr twh bhr tmnt cnttjr.

Ns wj ihdtgdujk jxplhrgd` tmj rhhc, hd tmj ljbt G dhtgijk tmj

hpjrntgd` tnalj wmgim cnkj cj bjjl slg`mtly dnusjhus (ns G mntj sjj-

gd` alhhk), nd x-rny cnimgdj, n bull ljd`tm cgrrhr ndk nll tmj djijs-

snry gtjcs th pjrbhrc ndy sur`jry G cg`mt djjk. Ytrng`mt nmjnk wnsn ihudtjr thp, sgcglnr th tmj fgdk bhudk gd `rjnsy sphhd kgdjrs

wmjrj tmj wngtrjss stndks hd hdj sgkj ndk snys wgtm n tmgif Djw

Whrf niijdt, Yh wmntll gt aj Cni8 [mjsj gtjcs wjrj stnrtgd` th

`gvj cj tmj gkjn tmnt Gc shrt hb n 25s aluj ihllnr fgdk hb `uy hd

tmj gdsgkj6 nll G djjkjk th mjnr wns n lgttlj Khh-Php! Hd tmj wnll

ajmgdk tmj ihudtjr wjrj ahhfs, nll fgdks hb rjsjnrim typj ahhfs.

Ndy ahhf G ihulk gcn`gdj, lgtjrnlly, wns tmjrj.Cnrf kgrjitjk cj hvjr th tmj cgrrhr hd tmj ljbt. Gs tmjrj ndy-

tmgd` yhu wndt th whrf hd8

Wjs, G rjplgjk wgtm n slhw slurrjk mypdhtgi trndij vhgij, G oust

`ht tmj sgkj hb cy jyj splgt hpjd plnygd` rniqujtanll ndk whulk lgfj

th mjnl gt.

Cnrf sngk, Hf, lhhf nt yhursjlb gd tmj cgrrhr.

Mjy, G lhhf prjtty `hhk, G cusjk ns G npprhnimjk tmj cgrrhr.Yukkjdly, cy jyj gd tmj cgrrhr ajincj MZ@J, jspjignlly tmj pnrt

wmjrj G mnk ajjd mgt! G ihulk sjj tmj iut vjry iljnrly. Gt wns lgfj n

budmhusj cgrrhr tmnt jxpndks yhur ajlly aut smrgdfs yhur mjnk ndk

lj`s sh yhu lhhf lgfj n ahwlgd` anll. Jxijpt, mjrj hdly tmj sgkj hb cy

jyj wns tmj kgsthrtjk tnr`jt.


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Prjstlgd` Pgtm Gdtjrdnl Irhsstnlf | 90

G wndt yhu th gcn`gdj tmj gdoury cjltgd` nwny, ljnvgd` hdly

schhtm sfgd ihcpljtjly mjnljk. Qjcjcajr th bhius ndk usj ns

cndy pmysginl sjdsjs ns yhu ind, Cnrf su``jstjk.

Pgtm n lgttlj bhius, G gcn`gdjk cy bgd`jrs bjjlgd` tmj gdoury sgtjns schhtm ndk shbt. G gcn`gdjk bjjlgd` tmj gdoury sgtj ns wnrc. [mj

gdoury ajincj alurry ndk kgsnppjnrjkns gb gt mnk djvjr ajjd.

Nbtjr wj wjrj khdj, Cnrf lhhfjk pjrpljxjk. Gc surprgsjk gt

wns yhur jyj tmnt smhwjk up sh ag` gd tmj cgrrhr.

Pmy wns tmnt surprgsgd`8 G rjsphdkjk, whrrgjk tmnt G mnk

cnkj n cgstnfj wgtm tmgs spjignl trngdgd` gd Cgdk-Hvjr-Cnttjr.

Whud` cjd yhur n`j usunlly sjj tmjgr `jdgtnls gd tmj zhhcjk-gdpnrt hb tmj cgrrh... mj stntjk wgtm nd gcpgsm scglj, ns gb nkcgttgd`

th n sjirjt ohfj. Aut G ùjss nt tmgs chcjdt, tmj bntj hb yhur jyj gs

hb chrj ihdijrd th yhu.

Cy jyj mjnljk ihcpljtjly wgtmgd twh knys wgtmhut ndy sinr. Cy

`jdgtnls kgk dht imnd`j.

Cgdk hvjr cnttjr8 Dht prhhb jdhu`m th sthp tmj irhsstnlf, aut

dht kjdgnalj jgtmjr.[hwnrk tmj jdk hb cy sjssghds wgtm Cnrf, mj su``jstjk G lhhf

gdth sjlb-mypdhsgs ns n cjnds th rjlnx ndk ljnrd chrj nahut ùgkjk

gcn`jry. Bhllhwgd` mgs nkvgij, G stnrtjk rjnkgd` ndy ahhf G ihulk

bgdk nahut mypdhsgs, tmjd trndij stntjs, tmjd Djurnl Lgdùgstgi

Urh`rnccgd`. Ns G ihdtgdujk th rjnk ndk ljnrd chrj, tmj prhspjits

hb sjlb-mypdhsgs thhf hd n djw kgcjdsghd. [mj ahhfs prhcgsjk nll

fgdks hb ajdjbgts? mjnltm, stuky gcprhvjcjdt, ndk nll tmj onzzjk upsgllgdjss sjjd gd iurrjdt kny tjljvgsghd gdbhcjrignls? Aj strhd`jr,

bnstjr, ajttjr!

[mj prhspjits hb ajihcgd` Yupjrcnd-lgfj rjnlly jxigtjk cj, yjt

wmjd G stjppjk anif th hasjrvj cy prh`rjss hd tmj qujst, G snw nd

gcn`j hb n aull gd n imgdn smhp. [mj aull bgrst stucaljs tmgs wny,

tmjd tmnt, hd tmj phlgsmjk blhhr. Mgs mhrds mhhf hd smjlvjs, fdhif-

gd` hvjr plntjs ndk `lnssjs, mgs swgd`gd` tngl kjstrhygd` prgijljssgtjcs. Ytnrtljk nt jnim sukkjd irnsm, rjnitgd` gd bjnr ndk nd`jr, mgs

chvjcjdts ajihcj chrj brndtgi, djvjr rjnlgzgd` tmj shudks nrj

kgrjit rjsults hb mgs hwd chvjcjdt. Cy prh`rjss hd Cgdk-Hvjr-

Cnttjr wns arhfjd gdth n audim hb dhd-ihddjitjk pgjijs. G snw

tmnt gb G wjrj th `jt n shlgk `rnsp hd gt, G djjkjk n thhl wgtm bhius, n


46/143

| [mj Ytukjdt9=

cjtmhk th systjcntginlly kgrjit cy gdtjdtghd ndk mjlp cj niihc-

plgsm cy `hnls. Ihulk sjlb-mypdhsgs aj tmgs thhl8

Jxjrigsj :? Gkjdtgbygd` Irhsstnlf

Pmnt kh yhu sny th yhursjlb oust ajbhrj yhu stnrt n tnsf8 Kh yhu

sny, G ind mndklj tmgs, dh prhaljc. Hr kh yhu tmgdf hb htmjr tnsfs

tmnt yhuvj bngljk nt, hr hb hdj chcjdt gd yhur lgbj wmjd shcjhdj

thlk yhu mhw prhdj th bnglurj yhu nrj8 Gs yhur irhsstnlf stgll prhtjit-

gd` yhu brhc `jttgd` murt gd tmj whrlk lgfj gt kgk wmjd yhu wjrj nfgk6 lhhf ahtm wnys ajbhrj irhssgd` tmj strjjt8 Hr khjs gt dhw oust

sthp yhu brhc suiijjkgd`6 khdt tnfj n rgsf, chst jdtrjprjdjurs

ndk djw ihcpndgjs jdk gd andfruptiy8


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>5Ljnrdgd` Yjlb-Mypdhsgs

Gd cy rjnkgd`, G ljnrdjk tmnt mypdhtgsts usj ahky iujs th cjnsurjtrndij kjptm. [mj kjjpjr tmj trndij, tmj chrj rjlnxjk n pjrshds

bnignl cusiljs ajihcj, irjntgd` n syccjtrginl lhhf gd tmj suaojits

bnij. Hd thp hb tmnt, wgtm tmj rg`mt su``jstghd, n pjrshd gd n kjjp

trnij wgll ajlgjvj tmjgr nrc gs lg`mtjr tmnd ngr ndk tmnt gt wgll blhnt

up hbb tmj tnalj. N suaojit ind aj gdstruitjk th ljt tmjgr nrc blhnt

up ns tmjy `h kjjpjr ndk kjjpjr gdth trndij. [h kh sjlb mypdhsgs, G

djjkjk n iuj th ljt cj fdhw G mnk rjnimjk n kjjp mypdhtgi stntj.[mj nrc rngsj wns tmj pjrbjit iuj. Dhw nll G djjkjk wns th prnitgij

ndk sjj gb cy nrc whulk rgsj.

Aut wmjrj whulk G bgdk tmj tgcj8 G wns gd simhhl bull-tgcj whrf-

gd` hd n animjlhrs gd Usyimhlh`y ndk mnk n dg`mt smgbt oha krgvgd`.

Mhw whulk G bgt gd mypdhsgs prnitgij8 Mcc, mhw nahut prnitgigd`

kurgd` ilnss8 G mnk sjvjrnl cntm ihursjs, n aghlh`y ihursj, ndk hdj

tgtljk, Mgsthry hb Usyimhlh`y.[hu`m imhgij, aut Mgsthry hb Usyimhlh`y wgds!

[mgs mgsthry ilnss wns tnu`mt ay n prhbjsshr wmh wns oust plngd

wnifh ns bnr ns tmj rjnl whrlk wns ihdijrdjk. [mj ilnss ihulk mnvj

ajjd chrj npprhprgntjly inlljk N Cnrxgst gdtjrprjtntghd hb tmj

mgsthry ndk cjndgd` hb psyimhlh`y, sh, gd trutm, tmgs ilnss wns oust


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| [mj Ytukjdt;5

nsfgd` bhr gt. [mj tjnimjr wns n imuaay `uy wmhsj mjnk wns rjnlly

rhudk, nlchst syccjtrginlly sh. Mgs `lnssjs bgt mgs mjnk ns gb tmjy

wjrj cnkj pjrbjitly ihdijdtrgi ndk mgs bull ajnrk lhhfjk lgfj `rjy

mngr hd n ansfjtanll. Lgstjdgd` th mgc ljiturj wns ns jxigtgd` nswntimgd` wnllpnpjr pjjlgd`.

Cy `hnl wns th mypdhtgzj cysjlb ndk `jt cy mndk th rgsj kurgd`

mgs ilnss. Pmnt G kgkdt ihdsgkjr wns nd nrc rngsjk gd n ilnssrhhc

usunlly cjnds, Gvj `ht n qujstghd.

Nt bgrst, gt wnsdt sh jnsy th kh tmj mypdhsgs wgtmhut bnllgd`

nsljjp. [mj bgrst tgcj, G wns nwnfjdjk ay tmj austlj hb 95 stukjdts

`jttgd` hut hb tmjgr imngrs ndk smubblgd` hut tmj khhr nt tmj jdk hbilnss. Hhps. [ry n`ngd ndk bnll nsljjp n`ngd. Dht `hhk. Imnd`j tni-

tgis, sgt up strng`mt, lhhf nmjnk nt tmj alnifahnrk6 su``jst th cysjlb

tmnt G ihulk stny nwnfj wmglj gd n kjjp stntj hb mypdhsgs ndk bgdnlly,

suiijss. Yjlb-mypdhsgs wgtm cy jyjs hpjd! Pmjd G rjnlgzjk tmgs

whrfjk, G `ht sh jxigtjk gt arhu`mt cj rg`mt anif hut hb tmj kjjp

trndij. Auccjr, stnrt hvjr.

Pmnt th kh djxt8 G kjigkjk gt wns ajst th oust rngsj cy mndkndk dht tmj wmhlj nrc ajinusj G kgkdt wndt gt th aj ihdbusjk wgtm

nd nrc rngsjk gd qujstghd. Nsfgd` n qujstghd hb n tjrrgaly ahrgd`

prhbjsshr ljnks th burtmjr cgdk ducagd` gdbhrcntghd, aut rngsgd`

hdjs mndk wgtmhut mnvgd` n qujstghd ndk wgtmhut mnvgd` n iluj ns

th wmnt wns oust sngk gd tmj pnst >: cgdutjs gs n surj rhnk th trn`-

jky. Zdbhrtudntjly, cy su``jstghds wjrjdt jxplgigt jdhu`m6 cy nrc

wjdt up ndk G `ht inlljk hd. Cy bnij wjdt rjk. Hm irnp, dhw wmntkh G nsf8 Ihulk yhu rjpjnt tmnt pljnsj8

[mj tjnimjr lhhfjk nt cj hvjr tmj thp hb mgs `lnssjs ndk sngk,

Cr. Qgdzjl, wmnt sny yhu th UNWGD@ N[[JD[GHD bhr n imnd`j,

smnll wj8 Hhps, mj mnk dhtgijk cj bnllgd` nsljjp kurgd` prjvghus

ilnssjs.

Cy djw sjlb-mypdhsgs cndtrn ajincj, Ns cy mndk stnrts th bjjl

lg`mt ndk blhnt up hb gts hwd niihrk, cy jlahw wgll ajihcj mjnvyndk stgif th tmj kjsf. [mj lg`mtjr cy mndk ajihcjs, tmj mjnvgjr cy

jlahw ajihcjs.

Ns G wjdt gd ndk cy mndk rhsj up th smhulkjr ljvjl wmglj cy

jlahw stnyjk hd tmj kjsf, G ajincj jlntjk. Rgithry! Oust th cnfj

surj tmjrj wnsdt ndy ihdbusghd, G sjt cy imgd hd cy mndk ns gb G


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Ljnrdgd` Yjlb-Mypdhsgs | ;>

wns oust ljndgd` cy mjnk gd mndk. G nc shhhh scnrt, sh ihhl. Pmnt

n truly usjbul jxpjdkgturj hb ilnss tgcj. Fgdk hb jxplngds cy `rnkjs

tmnt sjcjstjr.

Qjnlgzgd` G ihulk aj gd n mypdhtgi stntj ndk stgll aj thtnllyihdsighus hb jvjrytmgd` `hgd` hd nrhudk cj wns prjtty jxigtgd`.

Pmy dht try gt gd ndhtmjr ilnss8 G trgjk mypdhtgzgd` cysjlb kurgd`

Mjarjw Ytukgjs. Ihdtrnry th tmj psyimhlh`y ilnss, tmgs tjnimjr wns

gdtjrjstgd`6 n rnaag, ndk lntjr nd nkvgshr hb cgdj. Ns G wjdt gdth cy

mypdhtgi stntj, G kgkdt mnvj n pnrtgiulnr `hnl suim ns nrc rngsgd`6

rntmjr G wns oust khgd` gt th kh gt. [mj rjsults wjrj ncnzgd`. Pmjd

tmj ilnss jdkjk ndk G arhu`mt cysjlb hut, G rjcjcajrjk tmj jdtgrjljiturj whrk bhr whrk, jvjd tmhu`m cy su``jstghds wjrj oust nahut

rjlnxgd`, dhtmgd` nahut cjchrgzgd`, Gd bnit, G stgll rjcjcajrjk gt

sjvjrnl yjnrs lntjr. @hhk ljiturj!

Ndhtmjr ilnss G thhf wns nahut prnitginl ihudsjlgd` strntj`gjs.

Nt nahut cgk-sjcjstjr, tmj tjnimjr stnrtjk tnlfgd` nahut mypdhsgs.

Mj stnrtjk tmj thpgi wgtm n `rhup mypdhsgs sjssghd, fgdk hb trgnl

ay bgrj, ns n cjnds th kjchdstrntj mypdhtgi trndij. G wndt yhu th `jtihcbhrtnalj gd yhur imngrs ndk stnrt th ihudt anifwnrks brhc 15,

mj sngk gd n cjlhkgi, shhtmgd` vhgij. Ns yhu ihudt anifwnrks, jnim

ducajr argd`s yhu th n chrj rjlnxjk stntj, kjjpjr ndk kjjpjr gdth

n plnij hb qugjtukj. 15. Qjlnxntghd gs `rnkunlly sjjpgd` gdth nll yhur

cusiljs, >7>=>0 mj ihdtgdujk ihudtgd` khwd, =, yhu nrj gd n

vjry rjlnxjk, ohybul stntj mgs schhtm vhgij jimhjk gd cy jnrs.

Qg`mt nahut tmjd, oust nbtjr tmj ihudt hb =, G chvjk gdth suimnd gdirjkgalj gdtjrdnl bjjlgd` hb wjll ajgd` tmnt G stnrtjk th lnu`m

lhukly. Gt wns `rjnt. Lgfj n wnvj hb ohyhus pljnsurj rgpplgd` tmrhu`m

cj. Cy wmhlj ahky bjlt sh rjlnxjk, sh ihdtjdt. G mnk djvjr mnk tmgs

bjjlgd` ajbhrj. Dh chdstjr gd tmj anif`rhudk, dh bjnr, oust pjnij,

qugjtukj, ohy ndk rjlnxntghd.

[mj tjnimjr tmhu`mt G mnk ihcj hut hb tmj mypdhtgi stntj, ndk

whrrgjkly lhhfjk nt cj wmglj `gvgd` cj su``jstghds th put cj anifgd. @gvjd cy prjvghus jxpjrgjdijs, G fdjw G wns stgll kjjp wgtmgd sh

G sg`dnljk mgc wgtm cy mndk th fjjp prhijjkgd`. G wns bjjlgd` sh

`hhk wmjd mj arhu`mt jvjryhdj hut, tmnt G g`dhrjk mgs su``jstghds

ndk stnyjk kjjp gdsgkj. Ns bnr ns bjjlgd` `hjs, gt wns tmj ajst ilnss hb

cy udkjr`rnkuntj inrjjr.


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| [mj Ytukjdt;1

Mnvgd` mnk tmgs algssbul jxpjrgjdij, G ajincj hasjssjk wgtm

rjihddjitgd` th gt. Gt wns lgfj n kru`. G stnrtjk th bjrvjdtly prnitgij

sjlb-mypdhsgs jvjry imndij G `ht, sjnrimgd` bhr tmnt mg`m. Gt wnsdt

lhd` ajbhrj gt ajincj jnsy th nimgjvj ndk tmj chrj G prnitgijk, tmjbnstjr ndk jnsgjr gt ajincj. Ns nd nkkjk ahdus, G dhtgijk tmnt cy

naglgty th irjntj gcn`js gd cy cgdks jyj wns gcprhvgd` krncntg-

inlly. [mgs gcn`j ilnrgty ihulk hdly aj phsgtgvj gd tmj Cgdk-Hvjr-

Cnttjr sjnrim. Imnlf up ndhtmjr fjy? gcn`j ilnrgty!

Jxjrigsj 2? Zdnwnrj Yjlb-Mypdhsgs

Jvjr zhdj hut gd brhdt hb tmj tjljvgsghd8 [mnts n bhrc hb mypdh-

sgs. Knykrjncgd` gs n bhrc hb mypdhsgs. Mhw hbtjd kurgd` yhur kny

kh yhu slgp gdth n stntj wmjrj yhur sthrgjs nrj ruddgd` gd yhur mjnk

wgtmhut yhu imhhsgd` wmgim hdj yhu wndt th wntim8


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>>Irjntgd` Lnsjr Ymnrp Bhius

[mj pjnij G bjlt wmjd usgd` tmj rjlnxntghd gcn`js bujljk cy kjsgrjth aj nalj th krhp gdth n rjlnxjk stntj supjr bnst! Ns cy gcn`js

ajincj strhd`jr, G stnrtjk dhtgigd` mhw rjnl lgbj sgtuntghds, ndk tmj

bjjlgd`s jxpjrgjdijk kurgd` tmjc, wjrj sgcglnr th bjjlgd` cysjlb

krhp gdth n kjjp trndij.

N `hhk jxncplj gs wmjd nd jljvnthr krhps rjnlly bnst6 yhu `jt

tmnt sgdfgd` sjdsntghd gd yhur sthcnim. [mrhu`m trgnl ndk jrrhr, G

bhudk tmnt gcn`gdgd` cysjlb gd tmnt sgtuntghd ihulk rjprhkuij tmntsncj krhppgd` bjjlgd`. Ndk ns G bjlt tmnt sjdsntghd gt nllhwjk cj th

`h gdth n kjjp mypdhtgi stntj.

[mj jljvnthr gcn`j gs `rjnt, aut tmj ajst hdj G bhudk gs tmj

gcn`j hb n rhlljr ihnstjr rgkj.

Ns n fgk, G cnkj trgps th nd ncusjcjdt pnrf gd Gllgdhgs th rgkj

tmj rhlljrihnstjr. [mgs wns hdj hb tmhsj hlk bnsmghdjk rhlljrihnst-

jrs cnkj hb whhk, pngdtjk wmgtj ndk sjjnalj bhr cgljs brhc tmjbrjjwny. G rjcjcajr tmnt cy bgrst rgkj wns tmj ajst. Nbtjr wngtgd`

gd lgdj bhr nwmglj, G cndn`jk th squjjzj up th tmj brhdt sjnts ajbhrj

ndyhdj jlsj ihulk `jt gd. Yhcj hb tmj lgttlj fgks havghusly tmhu`mt

G wns rukj, aut mjy, tmgs wns bhr sigjdij. G snt khwd gd tmj mnrk

whhkjd sjnt ndk strnppjk cysjlb gd. [mj rgkj aj`nd wgtm n ilgca


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| [mj Ytukjdt;;

thwnrk tmj bgrst mgll ndk tmj suasjqujdt >9-sthry plud`j. Ns tmj inrt

chvjk, G ihulk bjjl tmj imngd udkjrdjntm `rna ndk mjnr tmj cjtnl

wmjjls rjshudkgd` hd tmj trnifsilnif-ilnif. Pmjd gt rjnimjk

tmj thp (tmj mg`mjst krhp gs nlwnys bgrst), G lhhfjk hut th cy sgkjndk ihulk sjj tmj bngr`rhudks ndk brjjwny, ndk gd tmj kgstndij,

Imgin`hs sfysirnpjrs. Phw, tmj Yjnrs [hwjr. Gt wns n ajnutgbul kny

ndk n spjitniulnr vgjwbhr n chcjdt.

Ns tmj imngd rjljnsjk gt cnkj n lhuk ilgif ndk tmj inrt sjjcjk

th pnusj. G fdjw tmgs wns hdly gllusghd ndk tmnt tmj wmjjls wjrj

stgll turdgd` jvjr sh slg`mtly argd`gd` cy inrt ilhsjr th gcpjdkgd`

khhc. [mj inrt irjpt bhrwnrk, cnfgd` scnll aut kgstgdit rucalgd`shudks hd tmj udjvjd trnifs. Lhhfgd` bhrwnrk, cy alhhk wjdt

ihlk ns pndgi sjt gd. Ljss tmnd >5 bjjt gd brhdt hb cj, tmj trnifs

kgsnppjnrjk.

Dhtgij G kgkdt sny slhpjtmjy oustkgsnppjnrjk! Hm, Dh

Ihulk wj sthp pljnsj8 incj brhc shcj mgkkjd plnij gd cy cgdk.

G bjlt cysjlb ndk cy inrt ajgd` chvjk bhrwnrk, slhwly, ihdtgdu-

nlly, thwnrk tmgs gcpjdkgd` nayss, jvjr sh slhwly. [mj ndtgigpntghdwns aurdgd` n mhlj gd cy imjst. Pmy hd jnrtm kgk G kh tmgs8 Djvjr

n`ngd! Djvjr n`ngd!Pmnt n bhhl G nc!

[mj inrt ihdtgdujk wgtm oust jdhu`m spjjk th prjvjdt cj

brhc ilgcagd` hut ndk sjjcjk th aj tnudtgd` cj gd rj`nrks th cy

tmhu`mts, Whu khdt mnvj tgcj th ilgca hut ndk wngt bhr ndhtmjr

aus! Mn Mn!

G suspjit gt gs tmj sncj tmgd` bjlt ay tmj bhhls wmh `h hvjrDgn`nrn Bnlls oust ns tmj wntjr `rnas tmjc ndk tmjy rjnlgzj tmjy ngdt

ihcgd anif!

Yukkjdly, cy inrt rjnimjk tmj jdk hb tmj blnt nrjn ndk stnrtjk

khwd tmj mgll! Wjt G wns stgll chvgd` bhrwnrk, Pmnt tmj mjif gs

`hgd` hd8 rucaljk gdth cy pndgi strgifjd nwnrjdjss. Gdsgkj cy

cgdks jyj wns n ag` djhd sg`d blnsmgd`, Hm Ym..! hvjr ndk hvjr.

Dh htmjr tmhu`mts wjrj phssgalj. Aukkmgsts cjkgtntj bhr yjnrs thhatngd tmgs hdj-tmhu`mt bhius ndk mjrj G rjnimjk gt oust ay ajgd` hd

tmgs brgjdkly lgttlj rhlljr ihnstjr wgtm n >9 sthry krhp.

Ns tmj inrt rhudkjk tmj thp, ndk tmj sukkjd kjsijdt aj`nd,

G lhhfjk bhr trnifs nmjnk ndk tmjrj wjrjdt ndy. [mj inrts nrj

dht lgfj n inr wmjrj tmj brhdt tgrjs ljnk ndk tmj gdsgkj hb tmj inr


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Irjntgd` Lnsjr Ymnrp Bhius | ;:

bhllhws. Hd tmjsj hlkjr rhlljrihnstjrs, tmj inrt stgifs hut ajyhdk

tmj brhdt tgrjs. [mgs cjndt G wns tmrust strng`mt hut wmglj tmj

wmjjls wjrj gd bnit, stnrtgd` khwd. Ns tmj inrt tgppjk th cntim

tmj wmjjls, cy cgdk wjdt gdth mypjr-krgvj. G dhtgijk mhw jnimg

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