TITLE: Average (Pg 116) GENRE: Drama CIRCA: Present Day LOCALE: Hollywood REVIEWER: Wardan Tiple DATE: 01/22/15

RECOMMENDATION: 4/10. Need rework on characters, sub plots and structure.

CONCEPT: A special case woman struggles to find a stable job in a challenging environment of Hollywood studio system.

LOGLINE: An overweight female comic trying to change her job after a professional breakup and struggles with Hollywood selectivity to make a big in the entertainment industry as a writer.

PLOT: Jeanie Overstreet, a female comic and a struggling writer, in her thirties is looking for an assistant's job in a production house only to realize that the director prefers more slim and pretty girls than a chunky, slouchy woman. She feels really bad. She meets Turner Kenzee, a young struggling comic around the comedy clubhouse corner where she used to perform. Turner makes her laugh twice over a conversation and hits her past. Jeanie feels upset. She takes few odd jobs to make money and work along with her friend Lisa who suggest her to try as an actor and gives her contact to a talent agent Marcy Klein. Marcy sends her for an audition where she finds all women of her size and realizes that in what kind of role she could fit in. Jeanie and Turner meet over a coffee club where she encounters an old friend Nick Vanburen who got through Warner Brothers Writers' workshop that makes her instantly depressed and she hides away from him. Finding her in a bad mood Turner inspires her to write and lightens her mood. That night she recalls Ian, her former boyfriend. After few meetings, Turner invites her to watch his performance at Amagi's Karaoke Bar. There at back stage she meets Joe Wags, a comic mate, who reveals the real reason of her break up with Ian. He tells her that Ian used her to get a better opportunity. She leaves Amagi. She is invited to CBS Writer's Program but fails in the Interview. To get away from the frustration she searches Turner on web and slowly she starts admiring him. Jeanie continues auditions of similar kind where she undergoes few embarrassing moments because of her overweight body but she continuously fights with this social evil, acts and inspires others. One day in an audition she meets Ian who is now directing a new show. She recalls her past how he dumped her after getting an opportunity to work with Seth Rogan. She angrily leaves the set. She goes to Turner's apartment where both have sex. Soon they become a good pair, Turner introduces her to few of his comic friends. Jeanie makes few comics infront of his friends who admires her a lot and that makes Turner jealous of her superior talent than him. Later he tries to stay away from her and ignores her phone calls. Jeanie becomes emotional fool; to change her mind she again searches for jobs; she asks Lisa if there is any work but she overtly avoids her. Jeanie spends her time with old female comics there on a conversation she realizes her superiority over Turner's

comic ability. Now realizing the reason behind not picking up her call she calls him up from her neighbor Titus' number and tells Turner that she come to know the real reason about his avoidance and she is going to join clubhouse again. At comedy clubhouse Turner goes for an audition for Conan Talent Scouts. He remains startled to see Jeanie there. Her old friend MC Vance gives Jeanie a chance where she shows her talent as a comic that the audience likes and she declares her retirement from the stand-up comedy. Turner goes on stage but couldnt perform well and obviously have to come back hopelessly. Jeanie walks out of the Conan Audition; outside she meets Ian who feels sorry for the breakup but Jeanie walks away with new found confidence and liberty. In her apartment she packs her stuff, Titus helps her. Suddenly she gets a call from Lisa who tells her about a job opportunity with Joe Hardy. Jeanie goes to the production house but finds the same selectivity form the producer for the slim and pretty girls. Her anger grows and she take a verbal toll of them. She walks out triumphantly on the street there a Talent Scout recognizes her as a female from Conan Talent Audition and offers her a job to work for Conan O'Brien.

CHARACTERS: The script has many different characters but neither Jeanie nor others have an arc. Her character becomes active when it comes to her appearance otherwise it lacks human touch. All other characters are there to support her without any solid back story. Turner, Ian, Lisa, Titus, MC Vance, Joe etc could be fantastic if reworked.

DIALOGUE: The dialogues are all straight and verbose there is no layers, subtlety and ambiguity in it.

PACE: It begins slowly; few scenes take a grip, some pulls down only to rise at climax.

SETTING: Hollywood Production Houses, Studios, Bars/Clubs, Apartment, Offices.

TONE/ SHOOTING STYLE: Like TV Series Entourage.

APPEAL: Very selective audience. Male 18-50; Female 20-40. Adult content.

ESTIMATED MINIMUM BUDGET: SUGGESTED CASTING OPTIONS:

READER COMMENTS: Jeanie's back story comes out through dialogues. Turner's character lacks motivation to pursue her, getting jealous about her comic ability and to break away from her. The reason for Jeanie's break-up with Ian sounds shoddy. It could be backed up by providing a character arc and a back story to Ian's character. Ian's sudden meet at the outside of Club house looks very staged. Loose beginning and extended ending could be reworked. Long dialogues robbed it from cinematic moments. Making Jeanie a special case does not resolve the premise of the film. It has two climax moments, first at Club house and second at Production Office. This script lacks a clear-cut conflict.

OTHER POTENTIAL MEDIA WHERE THIS THEME COULD BE EXPLOITED

TV SERIES/ GAMES: NO