sara marlowe, msw, rsw april 8, 2015 copyright © 2015 sara marlowe msw, rsw mindful parenting:...
TRANSCRIPT
Sara Marlowe, MSW, RSWwww.mindfulfamilies.ca
April 8, 2015
Copyright © 2015 Sara Marlowe MSW, RSW
Mindful Parenting: Building Resilience & Mindfulness in Children
Stop
Take a breath
Observe
Proceed
Reflection
Mindfulness = placing your attention in one placeAwareness = noticing when your mind has wandered away
Why Meditation?
PRACTICE
Attitudinal Foundations of Mindfulness
AcceptanceBeginner’s MindNon-judgmentLetting BePatienceNon-strivingTrustCompassion
Mindfulness & the Brain
Mindfulness practice strengthens our ability to:
• Notice & observe our experiences (mid prefrontal cortex)
• Respond to stress in a more calm way (amygdala)
• Regulate emotions (slows activity in the insula)
• Not be controlled by the negativity bias of the brain
• Be more compassionate & empathic (right hemisphere)
How Mindfulness Supports Parenting
• What’s most important now?
• Single-tasking
• Notice our ‘buttons’
• Self-awareness • (mirror neurons)
• Intentional parenting
• Self-kindness & compassion
Mindful Parents – Resilient Children
Foundations of Mindful Parenting
Sovereignty
Empathy
Acceptance
- Jon & Myla Kabat-Zinn
Mindful Parenting – Resilient Children
• Mirror neurons• Parental emotional-regulation – supports children’s
emotional-regulation • Mindfulness supports us to more fully show up for our
children– Less distracted & More Present for the fun times & the challenging ones
• Less likely to unconsciously pass on unwanted parenting practices that we experienced as children
“We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Keeping the‘Brain in Mind’Dr. Daniel Siegel
Staying on the High Road(Conscious parenting)
Stress ↓
Pause (Awareness)↓
Response
“We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Going Down the Low Road (Knee Jerk Parenting)
Stress ↓
Immediate Response
When we happen to go down the low road…
“Repairing ruptures is the most essential thing in
parenting…” Dr. Daniel
Siegel
How do we not “Flip our Lids” when we are REALLY
emotionally charged?
• Deep breaths• Take a time out• Tag team – when possible• Get active – (move around, go for a walk)• Personal mantra to help calm down
– E.g. “This too shall pass,” “I’m doing the best I can,” “I’m having a hard day”
Three Minute Breathing Space
Brain-based Communication
Dan Siegel: Key Concepts
• Connect and Redirect • Name It to Tame It• Engage, Don't Enrage • Move it or lose it
“Respond with the Right, Redirect with the Left”
Narrate your own Emotions
Self-kindness &
Compassion Practice
TIPS for Mindful Caregiving
Find time for yourself and be in stillness at least once a day, even if for 3 minutes…
Schedule time to just be with your children, with no agenda in mind.
Practice seeing the world through your child’s eyes, stepping into their experience.
Get to know yourself well... really, really well. Learn to become an observer of thoughts, emotions and body sensations and the messages they may be offering you
TIPS for Mindful Caregiving
Invite compassion to be the default when you’re just not sure what to do.
Check in with your body throughout the day and let go of any tension being held – our children are soaking up our emotional and bodily states (through mirror neurons).
Spend a few moments everyday reflecting on a pleasant moment you had with your child/ren and/or something you appreciate about them.
Be intentional with your use of technology.
Keep the brain in mind, especially during challenging parenting moments.
Give yourself permission to take a time out and ask for help.
Remember to breathe... lots
TIPS for Mindful Caregiving
Planting the Seeds of Mindfulness with Children:much more than sitting still…
• Modeling – practicing mindfulness yourself
• Making a family relaxation jar
• Stillness snow globes / mind jars
• Eating a meal together with no technology
• Sharing what you are grateful for
• Buddy breathing
• Spending time together in nature
• Coming together at a certain time each day to take a few breaths and connect (i.e. before school / work)
• Reflecting on a pleasant event that happened that day
• Narrating children’s emotions – as coming & going
• Teaching children about their brain & emotions
Take home intention
“Everyday Blessings”
• Sovereignty – makes it possible for children to show their true selves and find their own way
• Empathy – “what did I most want from my parents when I was a child?”
• Acceptance – acknowledges things as they are, whether they are the way we want them to be or not
Mirror Neurons
Observe
WHY MEDITATION?