Safety of Natural Children

Purpose of Workshop

Sensitize you to the needs for awareness and caution for potential abuse of natural children.

A large part of the population we work with have been abused or were abusive in the past.

Desensitize you to unwarranted fear. We want to continue to avoid incidents. Education about the problem will help you develop a “healthy

awareness.” You have access to youth history files. Get to know them.

Keep Occurrences Low By:

Educating Treatment ParentsEducating Natural ChildrenEducating YouthConstant Monitoring

Types of Abuse

Emotional Physical

Sexual Experimentation Child Sexual Abuse

Non-Contact Sexual Abuse

Perpetrators Typically Involve Sex: Male Age: 15 Length of stay is usually 2+ years Usually on a less structured system, which allows more

freedom Treatment Parents “trust” the youth and let their guard

down About 80% of all offenders had a history of abuse

(Probably low)

Types of Adolescent Offenders

Naive Experimenters Under-Socialized Peer Influenced

Poor Impulse Control Severely Disturbed

Treatment Parents and Victims

Approximately 3 years in home– Let their guards down - It is important to maintain a

“healthy paranoia”

Female Child 2-4 Years Old

– Mobile - Hard to Monitor– Trusting of Offender– Undeveloped verbal communication

High Risk Time of Year

Summer Months (June, July, August)– During the summer months, children wear less

clothing and there is less structure. Tight monitoring becomes more difficult. Children play outside more, where it is difficult to monitor behavior.

PREVENTION Teach natural children rules & expectations:

– “Off limits” areas of house (youth’s bedrooms and bathrooms) where “disrobing” takes place

– Not to be with foster youth in unsupervised activities or areas

– Clothing (sleepwear, robes, modest clothing)– Keep toys in bedroom or playroom, picking up after

themselves, daily chores, etc– Respect for foster youth’s property, privacy, and time.

PREVENTION

Everyone follows same house rules:

– A. Youth will see foster parents as more fair if they have the same expectations for their own children as they have for the youth

– B. Eliminates the possibility of conflict or jealousy between youth and natural children

PREVENTION

Teach children how to respond:– During neutral time, discuss and practice responses to physical

threats, coercion, sexual offers or actions. The foster parents can discuss how their children would respond to engage them in appropriate behavior. A more general approach allows for direct teaching without creating anxiety for the child concerning the foster youth.

– Teach younger children how to say “no” and leave the area to tell parents.

– Teach older youth how to say “no thanks” change the subject, leave the area, and tell a parent.

PREVENTION

Teach children how to report:– Any time a foster youth’s behavior is inappropriate or

makes them feel uncomfortable (teasing, threatening, offers, etc.)

– Report in private vs. in front of other youth– There are no secrets! (Surprises differ from secrets

because a person will eventually find out what the surprise is.)

PREVENTION

Encourage same age playmates:

– Foster parents’ children have a tendency to grow up too fast. They spend the majority of their time with the older “brother” or “sister”.

– They imitate foster youth behaviors and want to be like the “big” kids.

PREVENTION

Spend time with your children daily:– Opportunity for quality time that is scheduled– Encourages open lines of communication by creating

regular opportunities to talk– Ask direct questions to learn the child’s comfort level

or concerns (“Do you like Joe?” or “What do you play when you are together?”)

– Alerts foster parents to areas that require more attention and monitoring

PREVENTION Teach foster youth house rules and expectations (cans and

cant's) to prevent misunderstandings. This can be done individually or at family meeting within 24 hours of arrival.– “Off limits” areas of the home (children’s bedrooms)– Not to be with natural children unsupervised – Clothing (sleepwear, robes, modest clothing)– Respect for natural children’s property, privacy, etc– Holding or picking up your children– No laying down or use of blankets anywhere with natural children

or any other youth– No closed doors with more than one child

PREVENTION Explain differences between natural and

foster children:– Natural children are part of the foster parent’s personal family.

They are there because they live there, not because they were sent there.

– There are times that expectations for natural children will be different from the foster youth because of age, sex, or simply because they are not in treatment.

– Provide rationales to prevent misunderstandings or resentment.

PREVENTION

Teach youth to report:– When they have a problem with a natural child– To allow the foster parents to handle the situation or

discipline of the child– Protects natural children from being disciplined in an

unfair or harmful manner, even if done innocently by the youth

– When they are the target of sexual or physical abusive behaviors from other youth

PREVENTION

Ask the youth about your natural children:

– Helpful to know how youth feel about natural children or if any problems exist

– Allows foster parents to teach alternatives and resolve problems

– Youth may have constructive suggestions

PREVENTION Monitor: Adequately monitoring the location and

activities of the youth is one of the most effective prevention measures (10 minute rule)– Know the whereabouts of foster youth and natural children at all

times (teach youth to report whereabouts)– Don’t use foster youth as babysitters – Random checks prevent predictability– Maintain a healthy level of paranoia– Monitor off limits areas: garages, shed, basements, bedrooms,

bathrooms, etc

PREVENTION Watch for incidents involving mildly abusive

behaviors or behaviors that can cause sexual arousal:– Horseplay, teasing, snapping towels or rubber bands, wrestling,

thumping on the head, “put down” remarks, or name calling

– Without immediate intervention, these behaviors can lead to more serious behaviors such as a loss of temper, fighting, property damage, physical harm, or sexual arousal

Foster Parent Modeling Around Sexual Behaviors

Be aware of excessive “sexual play”, “sexual innuendoes”, and “sexually seductive behaviors” between you and your spouse when in the presence of the youth. You may inadvertently be setting your spouse or child up for problems.

Model appropriate public affection which is important for youth to observe (kissing goodbye, holding hands, complimenting)

Responding to Incidents Respond with controlled emotion. An uncontrolled

emotional response might indicate the youth has found a way to “get to” the foster parents and may increase behaviors

For minor incidences increase monitoring, teach alternative behaviors, and review expectations

For more abusive behaviors inform consultants, caseworkers, and the police when directed to do so

Assure the victim’s immediate needs are met and offer support and comfort

RESOURCES

Safety of Natural Children

Purpose of the workshop

To sensitize you to the need for awareness and caution for potential abuse.

To de-sensitize you to unwarranted fear. To keep occurrences low through

prevention. To make the foster home "experience" a

safe and positive one for your natural children and the foster youth.

Definitions of Abuse Abuse - Occurs when there is a perpetrator and a victim. One party is

in control (through intimidating, coercing, inflicting the suffering, being more powerful, at a greater developmental level).

Emotional Abuse - Maltreatment which may include excessive or unreasonable demands on the victim, constant or persistent teasing, belittling, verbal attacks, and complete or partial rejection of the child.

Physical Abuse - Maltreatment which inflicts bodily harm or pain on the victim and may include slapping, punching, pinching, pushing, pulling hair, burning, etc.

Sexual Experimentation - Sexual behavior which involves mutually consenting parties at about the same developmental level. May involve "Saying", "looking", "showing", "touching". Childhood experiences of a consensual nature (suggestive remarks, invitations, playing "doctor").

Child Sexual Abuse - Any inappropriate, suggested or actual sexual exposing or touching between a child and adult or individual at a greater developmental level.

Non-contact Sexual Abuse - A child, seeing by intent sexual activities such as sexual intercourse, masturbation, nudity, etc. A child being seen or photographed (sexually) by an adult or individual at a greater developmental level.

Demographics Residential Youth Involved:

– Sex– Age – Length of stay in program – Types of offenders

Family Teacher's Children:– Sex – Age

"High Risk" time of year– When– Why

Length of Stay for Family Teachers:– Who – Why

Disposition of Residential Youth:.– Remain in home – Transfer to another home– Transfer to another program

Teach Natural Children

Teach your expectation and rules (cans and cant’s) Everyone follows the same house rules Teach your child how to respond to the residential

youth Teach your child how to report Encourage same age playmates Spend individual time with your children each day

Teach Foster Youth

Teach your expectation and rules (cans and cant’s) Explain the difference between your children and

the foster youth Teach youth how to report Teach on sexual related issues Ask the youth about your natural children

Monitoring Know the whereabouts of your children and

the foster youth at all times Set and monitor "off limit" areas of the

home Don't leave youth children with the foster

youth unsupervised Watch for mildly abusive behaviors

General guidelines when responding to an incident Maintain a controlled emotional response Separate the victim and perpetrator Assure that the victim's immediate needs are met Report to the Consultant Interview the victim for pertinent facts Discuss need for further investigation with the Consultant When advised, call police, caseworker Discuss treatment goals and disposition of perpetrator with Consultant Complete incident report within 5 working days

Safety of Natural Children