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ISSUE 2 2010VOLUME 5THE AWAKENEROFTHE

CONSCIOUSMIND SAYYIDA

ZAINAB (AS).1

PATHOLOGY OF DIVORCE PART 2- NO MUTUAL UN-

DERSTANDING................ 7

DAYSOFHOPE (PART 2)REGRETNOURISHESHOPE

.3

This month of Safar is a true tragedy for the Ahlul Bayt. Let us learn from the leader of the

women of Karbala how to be the true mourners of this atrocious tragedy.

The Awakener of the Conscious MindBy Mustafa Barakat

Do we think we would have been at the service

of Imam usain and willing to sacrifice our

lives at Karbala? If I had to be honest with my-

self I would say that I would be willing, however

I lack the confidence in saying this. I would

suspect that the very Kufans who

betrayed our Imam would have

shared the same position. When it

comes to the moment where we

have to decide whether or not to

be by the side of our Imam at war,

what will go through our mind? I

have a family to look after, I have

to run my business, there are

plenty of people to support our

Imam and so he does not need

me, I need to go to work to pay

for my livelihood, I dont think it

is in my nature to undertake all

this violence, etc. Why is it that

we dont heed the best of actions? Could it be

anything other than our greed for this short life

in this limited world? This article will aim to

shed some light on the messages Sayyida Zaynabhad sent forth to all future generations such

that we dont end up like the Kufans the lov-

ers of this world. I have chosen to write about

Sayyida Zaynab for two reasons: firstly her

gender accommodates for both males and fe-

males; and the fact that she was not of the

masumeen which does not make her any differ-

ent to us.

The wise lady Zaynab was the daughter of the

Commander of the Faithful (Imam Ali ) and

Fima Zahr the daughter of the Prophet

(saws). She was a sister to the two masters of the

youth of paradise Imams asan and usain

. She spent a number of years of her life sepa-

rated from her beloved infallible family mem-

bers with the loss of her mother at a very young

age, the loss of her father, and her 2 brothers,

all unjustly martyred. She had been blessed

growing up in the company of great role mod-

els to look up to, emulate and learn from. How-

ever, with respect to the event

of Karbala, Sayyida Zaynab

who was in her old age was essen-

tially all that was left to stand up

to tyranny, speak the truth and

submit to the consequences.

After the battle of Karbala, Sayy-

ida Zaynab and the rest of the

captives were taken to pass by the

corpses of Imam usain and

his companions who were left

unburied. When Sayyida Zaynab

saw the body of her brother,

she put her hands under the sacred body and

lifted it as she supplicated sayingO Lord Do

accept this sacrifice from us!.

1This demonstrates

to us firstly, that Imam Husain had carried

out a plan to offer his life in martyrdom, and

secondly Sayyida Zaynab had to undertake

the sacred responsibility in presenting the sacri-

fice to Allah and promoting His cause such

that the revival of the true Islam is achieved.

Sayyida Zaynab , therefore had propagated the

story of the sacrifice of Imam such that it

may reach us today and wake us up from our

slumber. While Imam Sajjad was looking at

his slaughtered family, Sayyida Zaynab looked

at his face and said to him the following:

Why do I see you pleading for death, O the legacy

of my grandfather, of my father and brothers? By

Allah, this is something, which Allah had divulged

DISCLAIMER AND CAUTIONThe articles published in this paperare not the views of Al-Fajr or anyparticular Islamic centre but of the

author. Please handle with care as itcontains names of Allah and His

Prophet

EditorialSalaam Alaykum!Welcome once again to the Al-FajrNewsletter! This month we are back

with a special issue to enlighten youabout the aftermath of Karbala andhe events facing our communityhroughout this mourning period.

Since in inception in mid 2002, thenewsletter has grown to become ahousehold name and has stuck tots base objectives of:

Promoting education, awarenessand unity within community(hence the 'Our Community'section)

Promoting the sharing of ideas

however controversial(Viewpoint section)

Have a creative outlet for aspiringand talented young people

To publish high quality, original,well-researched, informative arti-cles on our faith and its practice.

We have deliberately released thisssue on this special day of Arban40th of Imam usain (as)) sincehis is a day we are expected to re-

flect on ourselves and particularly

ask what have we achieved this Mu-harram and what are we going toake onboard with us over the next

year. We hope you enjoy thismonths issue, and we strongly en-courage readers to provide us withfeedback. You may contact us onour website www.al-fajr.org.au -May Allah be pleased with us allnshallah

Wassalaam Mustafa Barakat andAbidali Mohamedali.

Continued on page 2 >>>>

OUR COMMUNITY. CAMPKARIONGAND MUHARRAMAT

IHIC (2009) ............. 4

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to your grandfather and to your father .Allah took a covenant from

people whom you do not know, the mighty ones on this land, and who

are known to the people of the heavens, that they would gather these

severed parts and wounded corpses and bury them, then shall they set up

on this Taff a banner for the grave of your father, the Master of Martyrs

, the traces of which shall never be obliterated, nor shall it ever be

wiped out so long as there is day and night. And the leaders of apostasy

and the promoters of misguidance shall try their best to obliterate andefface it, yet it shall get loftier instead.2

It is obvious that the martyrdom of Imam usain is an ever-

lasting story that we need to engrave in our hearts, and whoever

tries to eliminate it from our hearts will awaken us, as they are

our open enemy. Those who have let go of this story are the end

product of the leaders of apostasy and the promoters of misguid-

ance. Beware Brothers and Sisters from letting go.And hold fast,

all of you together, to the Rope of Al-

lah and be not divided among your-

selves.[Quran 3:103]Once Sayyida Zaynab and the cap-

tives arrived at Kufa from Karbala, She

delivered a speech to the Kufans, con-

fronting them with the evil they have

done and the wrath of Allah that they

earned had anybody been confronted with these fiery words one

would say: "Woe to me! Would that I were dust!" [Quran 78:40].

The speech of Sayyida Zaynab is on the last page of this issue.

The following excerpts demonstrate the fire of those words:

What will you reply when the Prophet shall ask you, How did you

fair while you were the last nation with my progeny, my children andthe noble ones, that some of them are captives and some drenched in

their blood? This is not the recompense regarding which I advised you

with which you treated my 'Near-ones!'.3

What would we reply when the Prophet asks us how we proceeded

with respect to his progeny? Are we really ready to sacrifice our

lives for the sake of our Imam? Are we grieved enough over how

our Imam was martyred? Are we grateful that our Imam sacrificed

his life such that we may not go astray? Are we ready to give up

this world and heed towards the best of actions? Are we really

ready for the appearance of the Imam of our time? If the answerto all these questions is yes, then where is Al-Muntadhar (The

Awaited)? If we are not ready, are we really ready to receive Allahs

wrath that Sayyida Zaynab has described? O Allah! may You

have mercy upon us for the lack of preparedness.After Sayyida

Zaynab delivered her speech to the Kufans and was mourning

and wailing, Imam Sajjad said to her,O dear aunt, please re-

main silent so that what has passed away should serve as an example

for the future. You, praise be to Allah, are an intellectual without hav-

ing being trained, and are knowledgeable who needs none to make her

understand. Verily, lamenting and wailing would not return back those

who have passed away.4

It is obvious from these words that the words of Sayyida Zaynab

are not for the benefit of the Kufans, as they are doomed, but

are addressed to all future generations such that we may learn

from the mistakes of previous generations and make sure we dont

repeat them.

Now I think it is necessary for me to emphasise here that, not only

was Sayyida Zaynab a woman of words, but also of action. During

the whole ordeal, Imam Sajjad was to be killed 3 times, once at the

hands of Shimr (The Cursed), once at the hands of Ibn Ziyad (The

Cursed) and lastly at the order of Yazd (The Cursed). Each time theImam was facing death, Sayyida Zaynab would throw herself over

him and demand that they take her life before they take the life of

the Imam. Subanallah, Sayyida Zaynab had as a result protected

the Imam of that time, this is exactly what is expected of us today

for the Imam of our time, so we have to be prepared.

Continuing on, as a result of Zaynabs campaign, many people had

come to know of the events of Karbala and their hearts were

aroused. The evils Yazd had committed was discussed at every gath-

ering till it echoed throughout Damascus. The

captivity of the family of the Prophet had

sparked the attention of an ever-increasing num-ber of people. By this point, Yazd decided to re-

lease the captives such that he may avoid a possi-

ble uprising against his empire.

After being released, Sayyida Zaynab arranged

the first gathering for the mourning and remembrance (Majlis Az)

of Imam usain . The people came, listened, and learned the truth

of all that had happened. They wept and shed tears. Such gatherings

were held wherever they had stopped on their journey towards Me-

dina. Today, we continue this tradition of holding Majlis Az for

Imam usain such that we may awaken ourselves from our

sound sleep and revive our faith.

Today, there is so much to benefit from the wise words of Sayyida

Zaynab, however, in ending this article I would like to ask: How are

we expected to struggle against the enemies of our Imam while we

are currently unable to struggle against our own desires? We must

remind ourselves that we are created in this world to seek the pleas-

ure of Allah and not our own pleasure. So in preparation I encour-

age myself and others to divorce the love of this world, to practice

Amr bil Ma'ruf wa Nahy anil Munkar (enjoin what is good and

forbid what is evil) and build the shield of Taqwa . I hope that Al-lah may guide us all before death overcomes us, to confidently say:

Ya laytana kunna maakum fa nafza fawzan adhma,How we

wish we were with you, so we would earn a great achievement.

(1) Shaikh Muhammad Baqir al-Birjandi al-Safi, Al-Kibrit al-Ahmar,

Vol. 3, p. 13, citing Al-Tiraz al-Muthahhab

(2) al-Tabarsi, Al-Itijaj, p. 166 (Najaf's edition).

(3) ibid.

(4) Ibid.

Refer to the following readings for more information:

Maqtal al-Husain: Martyrdom Epic of Imam al-Husain('a), by 'Abd al Razzaq al-Muqarram.

Nafasul Mahmum Relating to the heart rending tragedy

of Karbala' by Sheikh Abbas Qummi.

The Victory of Truth: The Life of Zaynab bint 'Ali, Re-

searched and Edited by M. H. Bilgrami.

2Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (2)- 2010

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Days of HopeContinued from issue 1 Ali AlSamail

Yet on the Day of Judgment all of those who were heedless of that

Day, no matter what their reason, will feel an intense regret. In fact,

if every soul that has done injustice had all that is in the Earth, it

would offer it for ransom, and they will manifest regret when they

see the chastisement.1 When we see the hell-fire with our eyes, we

will not only give up that companion, that money and that power,

but we will in fact give up all that is in the Earth. This world will

be the cheapest thing to give up in the hereafter, so much so that

those who do not respond to Him, had they all that is in the Earth

and the like thereof with it they would certainly offer it for a ran-

som2. This world, and all that is in it, is naught but the blink of an

eye, which will mean nothing when compared to

its eternal successor.3

Our Exalted Sustainer provides us with warning

so that we will anticipate the regret that will fill

our future if we do not take heed now and wake

up from our oblivion. Once our life ends anddeath takes its hold over us, it will be too late.

Whatever has befallen them cannot be described.

Pangs of death and grief for losing (this world) have

surrounded them. Their limbs become languid and

their complexion changes. Then death increases its sway

over them. In some it stands between the man and his power of speaking

although he lies among his people, looking with his eyes, hearing with his

ears, and with his full wits and intelligence about him! He then thinks

over how he wasted his life and in what (activities) he passed his time. He

recalls the wealth he collected when blinding himself in seeking it, and

acquiring it from fair and foul sources. Now the consequences of collectingit have overtaken him. He gets ready to leave it. It would remain for those

who are behind him. They would enjoy it and benefit by it. I t will be an

easy acquisition for others but a burden on his back, and he will not be

able to get rid of it. He would there upon bite his hands with his teeth out

of shame for what was disclosed to him about his affairs at the time of his

death. He would hate what he coveted during the days of his life and

would wish that he who envied him on account of it and felt jealous over

him for it should have amassed it instead of he himself. Death would con-

tinue to affect his body till his ears too would behave like his tongue (and

lose their function). So he would lie among his people, neither speaking

with his tongue nor hearing with his ears! He would be rotating his

glance over their faces, watching the movements of their tongues, but not

hearing their words. Then death would increase its sway over him, and his

sight would be taken by death as the ears had been taken and the spirit

would depart from his body. He would then become a carcass among his

own people. They would feel lonely when around him and would move

away from him. He would not join a mourner or respond to a caller (ever

again). Then they would carry him to a small place in the ground and

deliver him in it to (face) his deeds. Slowly, they (even) stop visiting

him!4

Death is the final closing of the book, after which man can no

longer alter anything about his eternal fate. On that day, the veilwill be removed and man will see the true reality of the world for

the first time,5 after which he will asked to be given, even if a little,

time to come back so that he may do good deeds and repair the

damage he caused during his life. Yet he will be told that no soul

will be delayed once its time comes and no soul will be returned.6

What man has sown for himself in this world will become appar-

ent to him as soon as the last breath leaves him, and he will reap

what he sowed for the eternity to come.

The only escape from the bitter regret that will encompass man

after death is to channel the regret of today into virtuous actions.

Man is advised to Work!, Work! Perform good acts while he is

still in the vastness of life, (while) the books are open (for the recording

of actions), (while) repentance is allowed, (while) the one who runs

away (from Allah) is being called back and the sinner is being given

hope (of forgiveness) before man dies and the (light of) action is

put off, time expires, life ends, the door for repentance is closed and the

angels ascend to the sky.7

Is there no one to offer repentance over his faults before

his death? Or is there no one to perform virtuous acts

before the day of trial? Beware, surely you are in the days

of hope behind which stand death. Whoever acts duringthe days of hope before the approach of his death, his

actions will benefit him and his death would not harm

him. But he who fails to act during the period of hope

before the approach of death his actions are a loss and his

death is a harm to him...Beware, surely I have not seen a

coveter for Paradise asleep nor a dreader from Hell to be asleep. Beware,

you have been ordered insistently to march and been guided on how to

provide for the journey. Surely, the most frightening thing which I am

afraid for you about is that you will follow (your) desires and widen

(your) hopes. Provide for yourself from this world what would save you

tomorrow (on the Day of Judgment)

8

We live now in the time of opportunity, in a world that was cre-

ated so that we could work for our afterlife and gain proximity to

our Lord. We must feel regret over our insufficiency before our

Lord today, while we can still redeem ourselves somehow, before

the opportunity passes and the world and all its avenues of wor-

ship become useless to us. We must make regret the facilitator for

repentance, repentance that fills the heart and spills over into

action. The flames of regret and remorse can in themselves wash

away the rust of sin from the heart; the tears that they bring can

in themselves cleanse the conscience and bring about some sort of

tranquility. Regret, when man is dead, is one of the worst forms

of torture. Regret while man is alive, is part of his salvation and

the first step towards repentance. Sincere repentance is the door

to forgiveness and salvation that never closes9 while man remains

alive, and regret is the key that opens that door, time and time

again.10

(1) Surah Yunus, Verse 54

(2) Surah Ra'd, Verse 18

(3) Surah Nal, Verse 77

(4) Nahjul Balagaha

(5) Surah Qf, Verse 22(6) Surah Al-Munafiqn, Verses 10-11

(7) Nahjul Balagha

(8) Nahjul Balagha, Sermon 28

(9) Imam Zainul Abidin , Munajat Ta'ibn

(10) Imam Zainul Abidin , Du'a Al-Hazn (Maftihul Jinan)

3Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (2)- 2010

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Camp Kariong, a truly memorable camp. The magical moment

started from around 6 am on the 16th of January 2010. Campers,

parents, supervisors and volunteers all rushed into the Imam

Husain Islamic Centre carrying bulky bags and placing

them in the car park; it got to a point where the bags

were overflowing forcing us to move them! Having done

that, we loaded all the necessities into the van and the

trailer. There was a small delay, which gave us the oppor-

tunity to get to know each other and familiarise ourselves

with the other campers, the camp leaders and the Sheikhs

(Sheikh Mansour Leghaei and Sh.

Zaid AlSalami). By the morning we

were like family.

As time passed we had hopped into

the bus and headed straight for

camp Kariong. On the way there

we had a Latmiyah session thanks

to Hussain Jamali. When we got

there we were restless, but imme-

diately began to help the volunteers and supervisors unpack the

camping gear and the food. We were truly exhausted but we were

informed about the wildlife and the potential dangers that could

occur during our

stay. After dhuhur prayers, sister Jamali presented a session about

first aid in the wild. We then were introduced to the activities of

the day which included a workshop with sister Samaher, a game

of sports either soccer or cricket and swimming.

Throughout the camp there were several activities including bush

walks, swimming, sports, a bonfire, workshops, water fights, an

obstacle course, quizzes and lectures. Alamdulillah during the

camp all our prayers were done on time, usually followed by a

brief lecture by Sheikh Zayd Al-Salami. With the help of Sheikh

Mansour Leghaei and Br. Hussain Jamali, small Majlis and

lamiyat sessions were held after Maghrib and Isha Prayers every

night of the camp.

One of the night activities held was called Jaish al Mahdi or the

army of Imam Mahdi. This took place at night after the Majlis,

which worked well because we had the story of Imam Husain (as)

fresh in our minds. The first two nights involved learning how to

4Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (2)- 2010

Every month, Al-Fajr will highlight activities of the community to create a camaraderie between ourselves and become

more aware of the services and facilities that different centres around Sydney offer. We shall endeavour to provide a snap-

shot of the activities/objectives of different centres from the members themselves! This month, we shall begin with the Imam

Husain Islamic Centre, highlighting the Muharram program and the youth summer camp.

Camp Kariong-2010 by Leith Al-Saffar

Our Community

get organised into groups and exploring unknown places. The

third was similar, but involved more activities, while the last

night was unforgettable. We were divided into two armiesJaishKufa or the army of Kufa andJaish Furtor the army of Furt.

Each was left to defend

its own base, flag and

protect its members;

while we were also re-

quired to collect hos-

tages from the other

army.

Everyone was sad that

the camp had come toan end, but everyone

had learnt something

new; whether it was waking up for Salat al

Fajr or learning something about Islam. This camp was a

spiritual boost to motivate us and keep us on the right

path.

Alamdulillah I think it was a mission- accomplished.

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5Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (2)- 2010

This Muharram at the Imam Husain

Islamic Centre was one of the biggest

on record, attracting over 300 people

every night! Our own Sheikh Mansour

enlightened the community with anintense series of lectures reaching into

the core of our beliefs. Below, we have

summarised the core topics that Sheikh

discussed:

1 Imam Husain in the Words of Imam Mahdi a.f

The reasons why believers should cry

Application of the Quran and the visitation of Ziyarat Ashura

and associating ourselves with Imam Husain

The benefits of the turba of Imam Husain

2 - Imam Husain, the Martyr of the Holy Quran

What were the aims and objectives of Imam Husain Believers should respect the blood of Imam Husain in theory

and in practice and not repeat the mistakes of the Kufans

The different levels of respects towards the Quran and Imam

Husain

3 - Ahlul Bayt (a.s), the Guardians of the Holy Quran

The wisdom behind the Prophet appointing his successors

The love of Ahlul Bayt and its benefit

Its how you end your life that matters

4 - The Element of Truth & Trust in Karbala

The characteristics of the follower of Ahlul Bayt

The virtue in being truthful and trustworthyBelievers should be careful who they associate themselves with

5 The Campaigner Against the Distortions of Islam

Types of distortions that had occurred in the history of Islam

Distortions in other monotheistic religions

Allah promised that the Quran will never be textually distorted

Ahlul Bayt had protected the Quran from distortion of its

meaning

How Imam Husain corrected the distortions at the cost of his

life

6 The Campaigner against Moral Perversions / Distortions

Believers should examine themselves with respect to moral

perversion and the benefits of repentance and reflecting and

repairing our mistakes

Self purification and guarding oneself from our open enemy

A Fsiq (shameless sinner) is an enemy of Imam Husain

The link between committing a sin and todays technology

7 Warnings from Karbala

The love of this world is the head of all problems

How to be truly successful in the life of this world

The reality of the lovers of this world

Those who stood and watched their Imam being martyred

8 Lessons and Warnings from the Murderers of Imam

Husain

The consequences of following the wrong leaders

The characteristics of the right leaders

The importance of knowing the leader of your time

How the Kufans had come to follow the wrong leaders

Preparing for the appearance of Imam Mahdi

Which leaders should the Muslims follow during the major

occultation

9 - The Everlasting Role Models: A humble dedication to the

companions of Imam Husain

Using the stories of the Prophets for learning

The companions of Imam Husain did not betray him

The characteristics of Imam Husains companions that made

them so unique

The worship of Imam Husain and his companions even dur-

ing difficult times

10 - The Final Warning from

Ashura

Examining oneself whether or

not we are on the right path

Maintaining our good deeds

till we die

Watching out from those

who desire to divide us

Ahlul Bayt and dying for the

sake of Allah

Why shall we grieve?

The full audio/video of these lectures were streamed

live and recorded. They can be purchased at the Imam Husain

Islamic Centre reception or downloaded from www.ihic.org.au

We were blessed this Muharram to be joined by a recent revert to

Islam, Gavin Fox. He describes below his experience of Ashura atthe Imam Husain Islamic Centre:

Salam Alaykum, Brothers and Sisters. My name is Gavin Fox and

I am writing this to share with you my very first experience of

Ashura, at the Imam Husain Islamic Centre. Firstly, I will give

you a brief introduction about myself, and how I became a Shia

Muslim. You guessed it, with a name like Gavin Fox it kind of

gives it away that I am not from a Middle Eastern / Muslim de-

scent.

Having reverted to Islam towards the end of 2009 with the assis-

tance of Sheikh Mansour, I am fairly new to the world of Islam.

You may ask the number one questions such as: why did I choose

to become a Shia Muslim? I could talk about how Ive visited the

Middle East and Muslim countries, or by reading numerous

books, meeting various Muslim people, both Shia and Sunni.

The fact of the matter is, I am a Shia Muslim because these are

the true teachings of Islam. However, most importantly, the Holy

Quran alone, the manual for life, was sufficient for me.

Now that I have given you a brief description on how I became a

Shia Muslim, let us move on to my very first Ashura experience.

My knowledge of Ashura was very basic. I was not prepared for

what I was about to encounter, for instance I had known that

Imam Husain was martyred however I wasnt aware of the depth

The 10 days of Muharram by Gavin Fox

Continued on page 6 >>>>

Muharram at Imam Husain Islamic

Centre

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of what really happened in Karbala. I was shocked to hear about

how Yazids army killed Imam usains 6 month old baby, with

an arrow shot through its neck, after he had requested water for

his very thirsty baby. I was particularly deeply touched by the part

of the tragedy when Imam Husain had then raised the blood of

his baby towards the heavens, asking Allah to witness what thesepeople have done to a baby belonging to the family of their

Prophet (a.s.). How

can anyone commit

such an act?

I remember hearing

about the little

daughter of Imam

usain while in the

abandoned ruin in Damascus. She was crying and insisting to see

her father while Zaynab was trying to console her. Then theybrought the head and told her this is your father. I was very

moved when hearing about how she hugged the head of her fa-

ther. How can someone do that to an innocent child? And finally

the story of how Ibn Ziad had felt joy and happiness out of strik-

ing the mouth of Husain with a cane such that he may fulfil his

sadistic inhuman personality. How evil must one be to do such

inexcusable acts?

After every lecture we beat our chests as a way of expressing our

grief, and to remind all of us what Imam Husain died for. This

also had encouraged me to purify my heart to that of Imam

usains. Also by repeatedly saying those words during the chest

beating helped to remind me about how it would have been like

to be on the battle fields of Karbala.

While not really knowing what to expect, I watched to see what

others would do and followed. I saw the look on peoples faces

and knew that these people were mourning for the death of Imam

Husain. It was a moment to remember what he did for our relig-

ion, in sacrificing his life as well as his family. I have never experi-

enced the feeling of sadness along with the feeling of honour.

The whole experience was somewhat overwhelming but I havecome to comprehend it as the battle between the forces of good

and evil. After taking part in Ashura it has changed my life for

the better. I am constantly reminded on how lucky I am. I only

hope that people value and learn from such history. Every time a

drop of water touches my tongue it prompts me to think about

how it must have been like in Karbala for Husain and his family,

dying of thirst yet still focusing on what mattered the most. That

is saving Islam from corruption.

I understand that we really have to learn from this and ensure

that good is victorious over evil and to be the best people we canbe to our Creator, but most importantly engraving what hap-

pened on the land of Karbala in our hearts. Imam Husain will

remain as a symbol of revolution against all tyrants and oppres-

sors and his cause will continue as a symbol of dignity and free-

dom for all the mankind. Praise be to Allah! The one and only

God, Creator and Sustainer of the universe

For ten nights each year, part of the world has a slightly different

mood. Hues of red and black take over; mosques and Islamic cen-

tres fill up with people who come to show their allegiance to the

Ahlul Bayt. Gatherings of remembrance spring up in many differ-

ent venues and each venue seems to draw a great audience.

This year, within Sydney alone there were up to twenty three of

such gatherings. This raises a question of balance between diver-

sity and unity, and whether a large number of gatherings are in

fact beneficial or harmful to the community.

The first benefit that this phenomenon provides is choice. People

are no longer limited to a particular speaker or even to a particu-

lar language. Speeches are given in Arabic- in a few of its different

dialects- English, Urdu and Farsi. This provides many people who

previously had no opportunity to learn about Karbala to now do

so, and this is especially important for the youth. The differentspeakers and their different styles also give people an opportunity

to learn more easily, because listeners often interact with different

speakers in a different manner, and may be far more influenced

by one speaker than another.

However from this multiplicity and

choice emerge certain problems. The first is that many

listeners begin to surf between gatherings, in order to experience

the different speakers and environments. While this in itself has

benefits, it does not allow speakers- in many cases- to give a con-

tinuous series of lectures and instead they are forced to speak on

unrelated topics from night to night. It may be argued that this

decreases the effect of the message on the listener, not allowing

him or her to follow through and receive one powerful message

during these ten nights.

Another phenomenon that emerges is that many gatherings have

to be held in community halls, rather than in mosques or Islamic

centres, and it may again be argued that this removes one of the

benefits of the gatherings of Muharram, that benefit being to

draw people back to mosques through the rest of the year. Even if

these gatherings are effective, these youth will have no base to turn

to after the gatherings of Muharram cease.

This also raises the question of whether it is more preferable to

invite speakers from overseas or alternatively allow the array of

speakers available within Australia to communicate to their own

community. On one hand overseas speakers provide the audience

with diversity and a unique approach

6Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (2)- 2010

Our Community ... Continued

Majlis or Majalis

Viewpoint

by Ansaar

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7Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (2)- 2010

which differs from that of local speakers. However, this may lead

to a major disadvantage. I am sure it is agreed that one of the pur-

poses of Muharram is to be able to encourage the followers of

Ahlul-Bayt to make more long-term commitments to Islam. Usu-

ally when a speaker has an impact on an individual there is a level

of fraternity embedded between the listener and the speaker,

whereby the listener seeks to pursue their spiritual goals with the

speaker. When the speaker needs to leave, this contact too ceaseswhich may lead to a fragmented impact in the long-term for the

listeners.

Finally, many of these gatherings are held within the same vicin-

ity and at the same time, and sometimes this can lead to division

and a sense of competition between different groups of Muslims.

This is a highly undesirable outcome which one hopes will be

avoided through the common sense and intelligence of the atten-

dees and organisers of all the different gatherings.

In any case, the community must analyse and discuss this issueand decide, come next Muharram, whether we prefer a centralised

approach that may somehow still offer choice, or continue on the

path of increasing diversity?

This month, we shall focus on one of the most common causes of divorcethat of no mutual understanding. We shall try to

decipher the roots of this problem and attempt to suggest possible long term remedies for this disease.

The Pathology of DivorceNo Mutual UnderstandingSeries of Lectures presented by Sh. Mansour LeghaeiWritten by Abidali Mohamedali

The main causes of divorce

To fully understand a problem, the first point of discussion has

to be the causes of the problem so as to alleviate the likelihood of

that problem recurring. But in all cases, prevention is certainly

better than cure. It is therefore important that before delving into

discussions on the causes of divorce that the very first step to

marriage, i.e. spouse selection be analysed. It is certain that if the

reasons for marriage and the choice of spouse is not ideal, the

possibility of marital problems and therefore divorce is greatly

increased.

The human being has 4 major stages of life,

1. The crisis of Birth- In this stage it is not only the baby but

the mother as well undergoes severe crisis. Apart from the

pangs of childbirth, the child is extremely sensitive to the en-

vironment and is fragile and weak. Inappropriate care at this

stage in life could mean disability and problems for the rest of

life.

2. Crisis of puberty and Adolescence- this is the crisis a human

faces when he/she becomes an adult and therefore faces adult

responsibilities after life of being a child. This stage involves

numerous physical, biological and mental challenges that are

often misunderstood or not well understood by parents. This

often leads to family problems. Again, severe mistakes or cor-

rect decisions made at this stage can result in a miserable or

misguided life or a happy and well adjusted life.

3. Crisis of Marriage- In this stage again, one is expecting to live

with the person of choice for a long time usually more than

half of ones life and more than the time one has spent with

their siblings and parents. This critical aspect of ones life

would determine if he/she is happy or miserable the rest of

their lives.

4. Crisis of Death- This is the last stage and perhaps the mostcritical as it can determine the nature of life in the hereafter.

Of all these stages, birth, puberty and death are natural challenges

for the human. These challenges face all humans and are usually

never controllable or predictable. One has to deal with them as

and when such crisis appears.

The only one that the

human has full control

over is the crisis of

marriage. There is no

pressure or force ap-

plied by Islam in

spouse selection and

once selected one can

only blame or be

proud of oneself only for that decision. This therefore

means that the decision of being happy or miserable in marriage

is entirely up to the individual. Therefore one of the primary

causes of divorce is the incorrect decision one makes at the time

of marriage. Nevertheless, having made such a decision, there are

several factors that catalyse or precipitate the outcome of divorce.

These causes fall in two broad categories:

1. Causes of divorce claimed by applicants themselves

2. Real causes, or other causes, causes that are often not ac-

knowledged nor apparent to the applicants

Of these real causes there are 5 typical (most common) causes of

divorce: No mutual understanding

Domestic Violence

Drugs, alcohol and gambling,

Remarriage (or infidelity (cheating))

Critical financial problems

In the next series of articles, we shall analyse in detail each of the

causes and tease out the real and apparent reasons for such causes

and how to tackle such problems. We start with the first and most

common one: No mutual understanding.

No Mutual UnderstandingAlmost every single case of divorce is due to family problems

which arise as a result of some form of misunderstanding that

usually snowballs into a serious problem. Although as humans we

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are gifted with the ability to communicate, often this very com-

munication can lead to our undoing. There are several disadvan-

tages to verbal communication, some of which will be highlighted

here in the context of relationships.

Problem of expression of thought-

As humans, we do not have the ability to read minds which may

seem like an obvious statement but is often one of the fundamen-tal causes of misunderstandings. The human language by its very

nature is very limited by the ambiguity of statements and the use

of similes and synonyms which often do not correlate with the

thought process. The classic example of this in Shakespeares

Romeo and Juliet where Romeo says tomorrow you shall find

me a grave man. This word grave can have the meaning of sad

or alternatively the meaning of dead!

Problem of dialogue between the deaf!

It has been proven psychologically that we listen to words and

interpret them on personal experience rather than the reality of

the words spoken. It has been shown further that

the conclusions we make from what we hear is

based on what is talked about and what experi-

ence we have had previously in regards to that

issue. An example which is often cited in this

context is the rather hilarious yet relevant and

poignant tale of the family of the deaf.

The tale is that a poor, unemployed deaf man

happened to meet one of his friends who greeted

him. The deaf man assumed that he was being

offered a job and rushed to tell his wife what hethought he had heard. The wife, also deaf, as-

sumed that the husband was informing her that

he has bought her a necklace that she had always

dreamed of! She ran to her daughter, also deaf,

who longed to be married, with this wonderful

news. As expected the daughter got really excited

assuming that the mother was informing her of a

suitor! She ran with this news to the grand-

mother, also deaf, and told her of this. The grand-

mother, who was thirsty told her apple juice is

fine!. The story could be extrapolated any number of ways but

importantly serves to make the point that it is often we do not

talk to each other but interpret what we hear and therefore if we

do not associate a person or an issue with something positive, we

cannot appreciate what is being said or the person saying it!

Ambiguity-

Often what is said is not what is meant as a person cannot articu-

late their exact thoughts into words. Again pointing to the defi-

ciency of this form of communication.

Reticular Activating System (RAS)-

This is the part of the brain which interprets stimuli from thesenses based on previous experience or consciousness. A person

driving a new red car would suddenly more clearly be able to no-

tice other similar red cars on the road while one who has no such

experience would not even notice this phenomenon. Similarly, in

conversation, it often happens that one party would focus on a

statement or word that activates the RAS, whether or not that

statement neither was relevant to the situation nor was it said

with particular intent, malicious or not.

The classic situation and thought processes outlined below dem-

onstrates these phenomena and proves that a slight change in

thinking can make a world of difference in any relationship.

Main Causes of MisunderstandingThere are a few major causes of misunderstandings between peo-

ple in any relationship

Different perspectives- often people do not place themselves

into the situation of the other to understand the attitudes of the

person. An example would be a man coming home, having lost

his job, would be depressed and sad while his wife, having heard

of the birth of her niece would be happy and elated. If not han-

dled properly, this could be a source of friction and conflict.

Hidden thoughts- Often hidden thoughts lead to misguided

judgments and misunderstandings

Choosing the wrong time to discuss things- This often leads toconflict as the mind is not able to grasp the issue as it is dis-

tracted by the current situation

Pessimism- Negative thinking often leads to inappropriate inter-

pretations of actions and words and leads to the vicious cycle of

thought and action as illustrated above.

Etiquette of ConversationIn order to tackle this particular cause of divorce, and in fact con-

tribute to every form of relationship, significant changes need to

take place in the method of conversation. Simple yet effective

techniques may alleviate many relationship problems. Some ofthese etiquettes are outlined below:

Think before you talk. It is a fact that, once something has been

said, it is very difficult to take back especially if the consequences

have already taken place. It is therefore

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9Al-Fajr Vol. 5 (2)- 2010

imperative, that in order to have a healthy relationship, one

chews ones words before throwing them out. Thinking about the

consequences, benefits or harms of the words often would lead to

holding back of those words.

Choose your words carefully- It is important that in

a marital relationship, it be kept in mind that

the spouse is a loved one and thereforedeserves more respect and appreciation

than anyone else. It is important for

men for instance to go home with a

smiling face and be happy about go-

ing home, joke with their wife and not

with others or others wives! Similarly,

it is important for wives to be smiling

with their husbands and choose words

carefully when speaking to their hus-

bands.

Stand under- This is the real meaning of understand!- It is impor-

tant to stand in the shoes of the other party and understand the

reasons and motivations of the spouse before commenting, hav-

ing negative thoughts and making judgments. This also includes

standing on ones own ego and suppress pride to be able to let in

the thoughts of other people especially ones loved one.

Listen attentively and positively- This is often the major prob-

lem for both spouses as seen in the dialogue of the deaf. For both,

leaving work at work is often a good place to start. Focusing and

being sympathetic to problems of the spouse however trivial they

may seem, paying attention when being spoken to and using body

language to assist communication.

If needed, ask the speakers to explain what they really meant-

It is often best to ask the spouse about what they really meant

than getting ones own interpretation or an interpretation of a

third party. It is important not to jump to conclusions without

clarifying the idea of what was said. Why would one seek the

interpretation of a verse of the

Quran, from other than the H.

Prophet at the time of the

Prophet?

Ask - but amicably- When clarify-

ing a statement or a comment, it

is important to ask with humility

and with a sincere and genuine

need to clarify the issue, not arro-

gantly and with anger and hatred.

Choose the correct time- It is fundamentally important to

choose the correct time to ask a question or to raise a sensitive

issue. Having lived together, spouses are expected to understandthe sensitive times or frame of mind their partner may be in and

therefore avoid bringing up sensitive issues at that time.

Avoid sensitive jokes- Psychologists say that up to 60% of jokes

are serious! It is therefore important not to joke about what is

sensitive to either partner. Sensitive issues such as joking about

member of the opposite sex will often lead to conflict due to the

presence of the zealot nature of both sexes especially that of

males.

No Honesty!- This advice may at first seem contrary to intuition

but is often a cause of friction between couples.

Often, just to fill conversation gaps, a party may

talk about bad things one may have committed inthe past that either may have no relevance to the

conversation or indeed to the future. It is advised

that certain secrets be kept secret i.e. not exposed

to the spouse as those secrets are probably things

that one has already regretted and repented for.

Not everything in ones previous life need to be

discussed especially that of previous relationships,

as this can plant the seeds of jealousy and suspicion.

Men and women communicate differently- Just as there are

physical differences between the sexes, the verbal communicativedifferences can sometimes be overlooked. It is important to un-

derstand the technique of conversation of the spouse so as not to

misunderstand. It has been shown that women have more ad-

vanced communication skills than men. Other differences that

need to be understood include:

Women enjoy talking more than Men- This has been

proven scientifically.

Women ask to continue conversation while men ask to

get to the point- Women often enjoy conversing with their

husbands and therefore prefer to talk.

Most women, at time of distress, talk to other women -

This is a problem women need to overcome. Although this is

not a problem entirely due to women, men often do not lis-

ten or pay attention to the problem driving women to speak

to others. It has been shown that up to 68% of women prefer

talking to a female mate (mother, sister, friend) at times of

conflict. There are 2 major problems associated with this be-

havior:

Rumors- The personal family problems inevitable

spreads to the entire community and therefore making

the situation even worse.

Wrong advice- Friends, parents or siblings often give the

wrong advice therefore resulting in a further aggravation

of the situation.

Women reveal their feelings more than men when they

talk- The classic tears on tap is often as a result of the emo-

tional thinking and often misunderstanding of the real situa-

tion.

Women believe that communication can solve marital

problems- This is a correct assumption as men often believe

there is nothing to talk about. This is often rooted in the

mans pride, arrogance and fear. It is absolutely imperative

that problems are solved early and misunderstandings clari-

fied early before any permanent damage is done. It is impor-

tant that couples do not visit secular counselors due to their

poor understanding of the religion and divorce in particular

in addition to their financial motive for assistance. Speaking

to a qualified experienced religious counselor early and regu-

larly after marriage can often solve all such problems.

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Sayyida Zaynab (as) in the bazaar in Kufa

Wake Up O People!

All Praise is due to Allah peace and blessings be upon my

[grand] father Muhammad (S) and upon his good and righteous

Progeny (a). Now then, O Kufans! O men of vaunt! O treacher-

ous men! O retreaters! Beware! May Allah not stop your tears and

may your chests burn incessantly with the fire of grief and sor-row. Your example is that of a woman who assiduously prepares a

strong rope and then untwines it herself, wasting her own hard

labour." You have broken your

pledges by deceit and there remains

nothing in you except pretence, self-

conceit, exorbitance and dishonesty.

You have adopted the flatter of maids

and coquettishness of the enemies as

your customs. Your similitude is of

that of vegetation that grows on filthy

soil and is yet green, or like the mor-tar applied unto graves.

You should know that you have perpetrated a very morbid deed

and have prepared evil provision for your next life, because of

which Allah's anger is against you and His wrath would fall upon

you.

Now you are crying aloud and wailing over my brother! Yes, cry,

because it behoves you to cry. Yes, weep profusely and laugh less,

because you have earned the shame of killing the Imam of the age.

The stain of his blood is now on your clothes and you cannot

remove it, nor can you secure acquittal from the charge of killing

the son of the last Prophet of Allah, the Chief of the youths in

Paradise, the General of the battlefield, and an Asylum of your

group. He was a residence of repose for you and your well-being.

He healed your wounds and safeguarded you against whatever evil

came towards you. You approached him when you quarrelled

among yourselves. He was your best counsel and you relied upon

him, and he was a lantern of your path.

"Know that you have been guilty of the most heinous crime in

the world and have prepared the worst provision for the Day of

Judgment. Curses be upon you and may destruction overtake you.

Your efforts have gone wasted and you have been ruined. You have

transacted a losing trade. You have occupied a place in Allah's

wrath, while the stamp of contempt and misfortune is sealed upon

your forehead.

Woe be to you! Do you know that you have am-

putated the dear child of Muhammad (S)?

And what pledge have you broken off from

him? And what endeared family of his have

you brought out onto the streets? And what

veil of sanctity have you snatched away

from them? And what blood have you shed

from him? What an awry thing have you

brought forth that it is likely that theheavens would fall down and the earth

would disperse, while the mountains

would crumble down as much as the fill of the earth and the heav-

ens.

By killing your Imam you have committed a singularly evil act of

rebellious behaviour and heedlessness towards dignity. In view of

all these acts would you wonder if blood should rain down from

the sky? In any case you should mind that the chastisement of the

Next World will be severe. At that juncture there will be no one to

help you. Do not regard the time and opportunity given you byAllah as small and unimportant, and do not be satisfied with it

because if Allah is not quick in acting it does not imply that He is

unable. For Him there is no fear that the time of vengeance is

passing away. Allah is certainly waiting in ambush for you.

This speech is compiled from the writings of Sheikh al-usi in his Amalias well as that of his son, from Al-Luhuf of Ibn aws,, Ibn Nama, Ibn

Shahr Ashub, and from al-Tabarsi's book Al-Itijaj.

Activities at the Imam Husain Islamic Centre

Being one of the most active communities in Sydney. The Imam Husain Islamic Centre Offers a wide

range of activities throughout the year and for all ages. This is an opportunity for you to awaken your

conscience and take a stand against ignorance and prejudice. www.ihic.org.au

Congregational Daily Prayers Friday Prayers Weekly Supplications:

-Dua Ahd Every Morning

-Dua NudbaEvery Friday Morning

-Dua TawassulTuesday Evenings-Dua KumaylThursday Evenings

Classes

-Adult Hawza-Sun. Mon. Wed.

-Islamic studies and Quran Classes forchildrendetailed right panels

-Friday Evening Lecture by Sh. Mansour