sacred cows by joe eszterhas
TRANSCRIPT
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
1/125
S RED
OWS
oe szterhas
il i l
99
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
2/125
F DE
IN:
EXT. A CAMPAIGN RALLY D Y
A suburban mall s parking
lo t
- -
hundreds of people,
lots
of
red-white-and-blue everywhere.
Signs
that say:
TAYLOR/FORRESTER
and
JIM
TAYLOR
FOR
PRESIDENT.
Republican
SENATOR JIM
TAYLOR,
of I l l i n o i s in his l a t e - 4 0 s a t t r a c
t ive,
stands
on a bunting-draped
stage.
He speaks in
an
incisive rhythm.
SENATOR
TAYLOR
We re
not a welfare agency for
the
world. I say we put Americans
hard-earned dollars
back
into
America
Yes, I know there i s
poverty in India, but that poverty
i s not
our responsibil i ty, i t
i s
the
Indians responsibil i ty. Let s use
those
dollars
my
opponent
wants
to
give away
for our
good.
Loud CHEERS
from
the
crowd.
EXT.
A CAMPAIGN RALLY D Y
A narrow side s t r e e t in an
inner
c i t y
- -
thousands
of
people. Signs that say: RE-ELECT PRESIDENT
PARR
and
PARR/GRAHAM. The President of
the
United S t a t e s SAM
PARR, the former
Senator from
Nebraska, stands on
top of
the car.
He
i s
64
years
old: his
face i s
craggy: but,
except
for his
shock of
white hair ,
he
looks l i k e he
i s
in
his
mid-50 s.
He
speaks
in
a
low-key,
person-to-person
style .
PRESIDENT PARR
Let s not
bog ourselveS down in the
p o l i t i c s
of fear.
The
Parr
Plan
For
Progress
opens
our hearts to the
less
advantaged - -
not just here,
but in other parts
of the
world. ~
l ive in a time of peace and
prosperity.
We
are
a blessed
nation. ~ e are a blessed people.
Let s share our blessings. Let s
noe
fear
generosity. Generosity
is
nothing
to fear. Generosity
will
only
make richer.
the
s t r
e e t s
lller l e a l
Deafening
NOISE
Millions o f people
\
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
3/125
Total chaos
- - and
in
the
middle o f th e chaos we glimpse,
s tr ay in g a im l es sl y,
some
s acred
cows.
A TELEVISION
SCREEN
see the e l a b o r a t e
i n t r a and
tneme MUSIC
for the EES
Nightly
News
with
Tom
Martin. nd then we see M RTIN
on
screen: he is in
h is l a t e - 4 0 s ; t he re
is
a pol i s hed
s i n
c e r i t y
s boot
him.
M RTIN
s
an es t i m at ed t hr ee m illio n people
stag ed
the l a r g e s t pro-American
de m onst r a t i on
in
h i s t o r y in
C alc utta , I nd ia ,
a Gallup/EES
p o l l
shows
P re sid en t P arr with
a
s t i l l
climbing 28 p o i n t
lead
a g a i n s t
co n ser v ativ e
Republican
S enat or Jim
Tay lo r .
There a re onl y t h i r t y days
l e f t in th e campaign as th e
can did a tes p rep are fo r t h e i r
f i r s t
d eb ate.
INT.
THE
PRESIDENT S
BEDROOM
-
THE
WHITE
HOUSE -
NIGHT
The
P r e s i d e n t
of th e
United
S t a t e s shut s th e s e t o f f with
a remote
devi ce and
g r i n s .
Next
to
hi m in be d i s L CY
RR W in her mid - 3 0 s,
a
b e a u t i f u l
woman.
S M
PRESIDENT
P RR
Twenty-eight
p o i n t s l
You
know
what
t h a t
means? I t means
r
d o n t have
to
chase t h a t
p i s s a n t
a l l o v e r
th e
co u n tr y .
L CY smiles)
I
t hought
yo u
l i k e d pre ssi ng the
f l e s h .
S M
I do.
He l ooks a t h e r , smi l e s. Sh e s t a r t s g e t ti n g o ut of be d to
d r e s s .
He watches her a p p r e c i a t i v e l y .
S M
Where
the
h e l l
a r e yo u going?
L CY s m i l e s ,
as she d r e s s e s
r have
a
debat e
to
cover
land
l omon ow
l U I
nice in bed, Sam - -
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
4/125
I ll take v
thank
you
S
nice
at my
age.
3.
L Y (smiles l
But I m
not going
to
take
a
chance
of g ettin g th at idiot
elected
President of the
United
State
Besides,
there s no
future in i t .
Look
what
happened to Donna Rice.
S
What
happened
to Donna Rice?
L Y
Nothing.
She comes to
the bed,
kisses him on
the cheek.
L Y
Good
luck
tomorrow. The
future
well-being
of
the
Western
World
res ts in
your
hands.
He
puts
his
hand on
her
b u t t
cups i t .
S M
(smiles)
Yes
does.
She knocks
his hand
away
smiles, and walks
out .
s soon
as she goes out, J K HEFFERN N
comeS
in through another
door. He
i s
in his
ear ly-50 s , a take-charge
kind of guy,
the President s Chief
of
S t a f f .
IiEFF
(upset)
I v e been waiting out
there for
forty minutes, Mr.
president .
Sam
gets up out
of bed
- - he wears undershorts
goes to
pour himself a
drink.
S M
I m
gett ing
old, Heff. When
I was a
kid,
I wished I
could
take more
time.
Now I wish
I d i d n t take
so
much.
flEFF
(grins
l
He
wants
to t a l k .
S M
liEFF
Beats
me. Tomorrow night,
before
the
debate. Just Jimco and ctor
and me.
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
5/125
S M
T e ll him
to come to the h o t e l .
HEFF shakes h is head)
S t r i c t l y
p r i v a t e ,
no
media.
He
wants to meet
a t the h a l l a h a l f
hour before the debate.
Sam
thinks
about
i t
a
long
beat,
sips
h is
dr ink.
S M
Do you know what he i s
Heff?
He s
a skunk.
HEFF
That means we can
take
the
meeting,
but
we
have to watch the
smell .
EXT
CONVENTION HALL CLEVELAND
NIGHT
The P r e s i d e n t
g ets
out of s
limousine
in
f r o n t
of
Convention
Hall.
With
him
ar e
h is
wif e,
EMILY
in
her
e a r l y - 6 0 s , a well- kept woman:
DOC
BARLEY in
h i s e a r l y
7 0 s ,
a
rumpled man who is
Pr esident
P a r r s
congr essional
l i a i s o n
an d on e of s o l d e s t f r i e n d s :
and
Jack
Heffernan.
The Pr esident waves
to
th e
crowd
and, smiling,
is
led
in to the h a l l by a
phalanx
of S e c ret S e r v i c e
an d
law-enforcement types.
INT. ; MAKEUP ROO CONVENTION
HALL
NIGHT
Makeup people are
working
on
him. Doc i s
t h e r e
and Heff
and
~ l y who i s k n i t t i n g
and
look s b ore d.
DOC
to
makeup guyS
Watch th e t i n t Okay? This
i s n t
Richard
Nixon
he re l
EMILY
Are we i n v i t i n g Pr esident Nixon to
the
dinne r
for
th e
Indian Vice
Pr esident
next
month?
S
hard)
Nol
HEFF
Yes
we
a r e .
He
c a l l e d
me
twice
about
i t l a s t week.
S
th e til
t in g
him baCk in .
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
6/125
HEFF plaintive)
He d o e s n t
have
anything e l s e to do,
Mr
Pr esident,
The
baseball season
is over,
S M
Why d o e s n t
he
l i s t e n to h is
tapes? He
made enough
of e m.
Doc
an d then Heff, laugh.
EMILY
Well,
think
t h a t s ve mean
of
a l l of you.
to Sam
How would you f eel i f you d i d n t
have
anything to do an d you
wanted
to come to a
White
House
dinner?
A S ec re t S er vic e agent
comes
in , whispers
something
to
Heff.
S M
I
wouldn t want
to go to a White
House
dinner
under any
circumstances.
HEFF
I m going
to
have
to ask everyone
except
the
P re sid en t to leave.
DOC upset)
What do you mean I v e got to
leave?
What
the h e l l s going on?
HEFF
National
S e c u r i t y .
DOC
s t a r t s
to leave)
Anytime anybody ever says t h a t , i t S
a
l i e .
EMILY
to Sam leaving)
Is i t
a
l i e ,
Sam?
S
gr ins)
I m not
going to l i e to you,
Emily:
of course
i t s
a
l i e .
She l a s
long b e a t ,
h
debate
i s
a
and i s
gone
tn Doc
and
the
makeup
people.
A
and then
Senator
Jim
Taylor
comes
i n . wearing
m k h is de, VICTOR M C K t ~ Mackey
man i n h 4 0 s ,
SEN TOR T YLOR
MI
P r e s i d e n t .
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
7/125
S M
Jimbo
SEN TOR
T YLOR
You know Vic Mackey
S M
All
too
well.
Mackey
extends his hand;
a
beat, an d then Sam barely
shakes i t . They
s i t
on couches facing each other - - the
Pre si de nt
an d
Senator
Taylor in
t h e i r makeup
SEN TOR T YLOR a f t e r
a beat)
Is
this
room
secure?
S M
Nothing S
secure anymore. D i d n t
the CI b r i e f you?
A long b e a t . Heff looks a t
his
watch.
HEFF
We
d o n t have much
time.
You b e t t e r
say whatever i t is you ve got to
say.
M CKEY
a f t e r
a
beat)
Mr
P resident,
do you remember
what
you did two weeks
ag o
Saturday
night?
The
P resident
t hi nks
about i t .
HEFF
impatient)
What is t h i s ?
S N TOR T YLOR
Do you?
S M
a f t e r a beat)
Yes.
I was
a t my b r o t h e r s farm
in
Nebraska.
HEFF
do n t g et
i t
- -
what
does
t h i s
have
to
do wi
M KEY
went into the
ba rn, d i d n t
yOU
lOOks a t him a long
HErF
l in
d i s b e l i e f )
What
barn?
He went i n t o
went i n t o
the barn,
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
8/125
M KEY
We
have a photograph, Mr Pr esid en t.
A long
b e a t .
Sam
j u s t
looks
a t him,
then a t
Senator
Taylor.
S M to Tayl or,
q u i e t l y )
You so n o f ab itch .
A
long b e a t , as they look a t
each
o t h e r .
HEFF
What photograph?
What s
going on
here?
M KEY to Sam
You withdraw
from the
r ace.
For
reasons
of h e a l t h .
Vi ce-P res i dent
Graham t akes your p l a c e on th e
t i cke t .
Sam
ju st s ta res
a t them
- -
Heff
stares a t
Sam
SEN TOR T YLOR
You ve
had
a br i l l i an t
l o n g - l a s t i n g
c a r e e r . You
d o n t
want to tu r n your
pl ace in American h is to ry in to a
into
a
A long b e a t .
M KEY
MOCkery
A
long
beat
a s
they
look
a t
each
o t h e r .
SEN TOR
T YLOR
You
d o n t
have
a
ch o ice,
Sam
he
looks a t
h is watch)
We
have t h r e e
m i nut e s.
M KEY
g e t s
uP )
A
p leasu r e s eei ng you,
Mr
P r e s i d e n t .
m jus t s i t s t h e r e as
they
leav e; Heff
stares
him,
sees
how
d i s t u r b e d he i s .
HErr q u i e t l y
l
Was
Lacy
out ther e with
H E f f
f r an t l
What th e
hel l
happened?
he
c l e a r s h is
t h r o a t : calmerl
Mr
P re si d en t, w ill
yo u eas e t 1
me happened?
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
9/125
SE RET SERVI EM N
They re
ready,
Pr esident.
Sam looks a t
him a
beat.
A SE RET
S E R V ~ ~
comes
A
long
beat, an d Sam
gets up. He
looks very disturbed.
INT.
THE ONVENTION
H LL
NIGHT
The Pr esident
stands a t
on e l e c t e r n ; S en ato r Jim Taylor
a t
the o t h e r . Jim Taylor looks
f u l l
of l i f e :
the
Pr esident
looks l i k e h e s been poleaxed. Heff
and
Doc watch Sam
Parr
as he speaks.
S M
haltinglYl
Well, I
think
we can be proud of
do something we should be proud
of to
conquer
d e s p a ir
poverty
in
other
ar eas
p a r t s
of
the globe
in a time o f
gener osity
of
peace
and
p r o s p e r i t y to admit to our
generosity
A TELEVISION S REEN
Tom
Martin,
the anchorman
- - S i t t i n g
next to him is Lacy
Morrow.
M RTIN
With
me now i s
White
House
correspondent
Lacy Morrow.
Lacy,
t h i s c e r t a i n l y w a s n t
the
P r e s i d e n t s f i n e s t
hour,
was
i t ?
L Y
Well,
the spin-doctors
a re
trying to
put
the be st possible face on i t
Tom but
I v e
c e r t a i n l y
seen the
P resident
perform b e t t e r .
He
d i d n t
have
an y of h is n a t u r a l
rhythms.
He
ha d a hard time g e t t i n g to the
p o i n t . I t
was
what
I
would c a l l
a
very flaccid
performance.
M RTIN
He
was
s t i f f
L CY
But
d i s j o i n t e d .
He
s t i f f but the r
f and, as we
rEormallce
may
have
been
rmance was
know i t II
t
counts,
says: What
M RTIN
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
10/125
e
9 .
INT
IR
FOR E
ONE
NIGHT
Eyes gl a z e d,
s t a r i n g
s t ra ight ahead, the Pr esident s i t s in
the d ar k n ess,
a
drink
in
h is hands.
Heff s i t s next
to
him, s t a r i n g
s t ra igh t ahead, t oo,
saying
not hi ng.
A long
be a t , and then f inal ly
- -
S
How
ba d
was
?
HEFF
(af ter
a beat)
I d o n t know; we l l see th e numbers
tomorrow.
Sam says n o th in g , a long b e a t , he
s ip s h is
d r i n k . He
d o e s n t
look
a t
Heff.
S M q u i e t l y )
was o u t
a t
th e farm
- -
i t was
my
d a d s
farm, i t s Mose s
now
I t s
where grew
up.
HEFF l os in g p at ie nc e)
know a l l
tha t .
I m n ot ask in g
yo u
to
compose
a
campaign biography
h e r e . I composed
your
campaign
biography.
A
long
be a t
- - Sam s i p s
h is
d r i n k .
S M
I was t i red . Connie came in from
L A Sh e t o l d
me she s
g e t t i n g
divorced again.
HEFF
So what - -
your
d a u g h t e r s
get t ing
divorced
a g a i n . What does that
have
to do w ith a ny th in g?
S M
(ref lec t ively)
I t d ep r essed
me I
didn t
ra ise her
to
g et divorced a l l th e t ime.
don t know
w h a t s
happening to th e
v alu e s in th is countr y, Hef f .
HEFF
(a f te r
a long
b e a t )
Mr
P re si de nt , p le as e
- -
S M
t i red , r was
u
h i t t
s .
went
i t off .
a
b e a t ;
he
love that ba rn.
a l l th e t
depr essed.
Mose
th e
Jack
to
smiles
was
in th e r e
I was a k
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
11/125
i
1 0 .
HEFF
a f t e r a long beat)
So?
S M
d i r e c t l y )
So
r woke
up
with a hard-on and
poked a cow.
Heff s i t s there a
long
beat, d oesn t look him.
HErF quietiy)
r
sorry?
.
S M impatient)
r poked a cow. I grew up on a farm,
for P e t e s
sake.
I t s
as
-
American as the fireworks on the
Fourth
of
J u l y .
HEFF
in ShOCk)
You
poked you mean
- -
S M
Yeah I fucked her .
A
long
b e a t , an d then Heff closes
h is
eyes.
INT.
THE
OVAL OFFICE MORNING
Heff
and
Doc s i t
there.
With them
a r e : M R SIMPSON
34,
yuppie- ish, a P r e s i d e n t i a l
speech w r i t e r .
BILLY
LONG
48,
a b a t t l e - a x e
of
a woman very
p l a i n ,
the White
House Press
S ecretary. CLARK CRAWFORD 72, p atrician , d i s t i n g u i s h e d .
a
Democratic
k ing ma ke r a nd advisor to many P r e s i d e n t s .
There i s
a
s i l e n c e
in the
room. They
d o n t
look
a t
each
other, then
- -
CRAWFORD
I m s o r r y .
cannot
accept
t h i s .
do not believe
t h i s .
MARK a
s l i g h t
smile)
I t
is
unprecedented,
ll
do some
rea
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
12/125
CRAWFORD
r wish
he would have
DOC
You
want a
crook
in the White House?
CRAWFORD
I have many years of
experience
dealing
with those
kinds
of
problems.
A beat , and the President
walks
into
the
room.
He
looks
very chipper.
S
Good
morning.
He
looks a t
them,
smiles .
They avoid his lOOK.
He
s i t s
down
casually behind his big desk.
SAM (looks them over)
Well,
see you ve
a l l
been
briefed.
A long beat as they avoid his look.
BILLY
(f inal ly)
There
i s
hardly
any
sl ippage
from
the
debate.
We
l o s t
two points .
We re
26
up.
Figure the
media
w i l l
keep rep lay ing th e
debate tape
for
72
hours: w e l l lose,
a t
the
max
four more.
Nobody
says
anything.
O (smiles)
They love you, Mr. President .
A long beat: nobody
says
anything.
SErF
(hesi tant ly)
How do you f e e l Mr.
President?
SAM
Great.
s l e p t l i k e a
baby.
They look a t him. He g r i n s .
SAM (suddenly
serious)
All
r i g h t .
We ve ~ a decis
consider ,
but
I want
to
say a
personal to you.
He get: up and
and easygoing.
a he
talkS: he
i s completely
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
13/125
S M
I m
just
an old count boy. you
know. What
happened
in that
barn
happens a l l the time
in
Nebraska.
I t s
l ike
going up
the water
tower
a f t e r
the
senior prom,
i t s
l ike
having a
beer with
your dad the day
you turn
18,
l ike
going to the
cemetery
with
a
picnic
basket
on
Memorial Day. I woke up in
that
barn
and
got a
l i t t l e
nostalgic,
t h a t s a l l .
(he
smiles)
Maybe I wanted to feel l i k e I was 14
again.
(a
beat: he
smiles)
Maybe I
get t ing
old.
A
long beat, and then, f i n a l l y
- -
DO (quietly)
Like
hel l
you
are ,
Sam.
Like
h e l l
you are .
A long
beat ,
and
then - -
R WFORD
(with d i s t a s t e
Is i t i l l e g a l ? Is - - what you did
i l l e g a l ?
-
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
14/125
13.
What
about the
raph?
O (emotionally)
So
what i f
they ve
got one
What
are they going to do with
i t ?
Who s
going to show
the President of the
United
States
in flagrante on
the
Evening
News?
LLY
Whether the networks use i t would
depend on
how
revealing i t i s . I
don t
know
about the meohanics
of
th is ,
oow-wise.
How
you .
S M
(smiles l
Very
oareful ly.
But
i f
you re an
old-style
l i b e r a l
Demoorat, with
great
feel ing.
DOC
(emotionally)
They re
bluffing
We don t even
know i f
they ve
real ly got
a
picture
A
long
beat , as they
consider
i t .
CR WFORD
What
i f
a
photograph
dues
surface?
What
i f
i t
does
become an
issue.
What
i s your defense,
Mr.
President?
That everyone
who grows up
in
Nebraska does
i t ?
O (emotionally)
Yes They
got c h i l i in
Texas,
orange juice in Florida,
maple syrup
in
Ohio,
and
cows
in Nebraska
A
long beat , as
they
look a t Doc.
ILLY
I suppose we could try
to extend our
case to
Iowa,
Kansas, Oklahoma,
Arkansas
We re never
i t
al i M l r
able to make
,El i
(suddenly)
does i t
make
what
he
h bedroom
that
the
kind
5
?
What
di rence
in pri
or his barn?
I s n t
r f we
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
15/125
e
DOC
You're
damn right i t
is
We can
turn i t around
on
the
bastards
and
make
i t
a civ i l
r ights issue
As they think
about that ,
the
President 's
phone RINGS.
He
picks i t up, l i s tens
then
hits
a button
his desk.
The
big TV
se t
in the back
of
the
room comes ALIVE. We
see
the
anchorman,
Tom
Martin,
on
screen
MARTIN
In
a
blister ing address to the VFW
Convention
in
St. Louis , Republican
Vice Presidential candidate
Michael
Forrester attacked
what
he referred
to
as
a long
history of
Democratic
corruption.
FORRESTER
of Wyoming
is
a
big,
beefy
man in his 50 's .
FORRESTER (on screen)
They're
not
the
party
of
Roosevelt,
they 're the
party of Wilbur Mills
and
Wayne Hays
and Gary
Hart
and
Jim
Wright and Barney Frank.
They
are
the
party
of godlessness, harlotry,
and abortion.
Are
they
the
kind
of
people
you want
leading your
America?
Sam
shuts
the
se t
OFF
a long
beat.
O (emotionally)
What
about Spiro
Agnew
gett ing paid
off
with
his
bags
fu l l
of steaks?
What
about
Rockefeller
dying in
the
saddle humping
his secretary?
What
about
that
Texas dwarf with
his
hard-on , chas ing
HEFF
(ref lect ively)
Why would they
bring
a ll that up
now?
A
long beat .
CRAWFORD
O
you
know
what
I
wish,
Mr
President? Do you know
what
desperately wish?
sn
l iberals would
be
more
conservative
r
dai
rs .
S M (after
a
beat,
smi les)
Then we WOUldn t
really
be
l iberals .
we
rk?
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
16/125
~
R WFORD
I v e always
believed
in
hypocrisy
.
S M
(smiles)
Not me.
DO (affect ionately)
God bless you, Sam
REFF
(af ter
a
beat ,
quietly)
They ,e set t ing
us
up. They ,e
not
bluf f ing .
They ve
got the
photograph.
S M (af ter
a beat l
I
agree.
He
looks dis turbed.
HEFF
(angry)
I want
the
e A and FB
D irectors in
my
of f ice
in
twenty minutes
SAM (calmly)
Please make
sure t y don t
abuse
t he i r
sanct ions.
HEFF (smiles)
Absolutely, Mr. President .
INT.
THE
OV L OFFICE
FTERNOON
He
s i t s .
alone, turned
away from
his
desk, s t a r ing
out
the
window
a t the se t t ing
sun.
He reaches for
his
phone, picks i t up.
SAM
Where s my wife?
(he l i s t ens)
d l i ke to come
up and
see
her .
A beat , and he
hangs the phone
up and
cont inues
to s ta re
out
the
window.
INT.
TH
LIVING
QU RTERS
UPSTAIRS FTERNOON
Sam wa
sin
Emi
in
her
e arly -6 0 s , is
watching
a
paint ing
being
hung. Three young women IDES a re with
her. The paint ing ,
consis t ing
of a few l ines , is very
t ac t .
( to
S IJIl
I t s a Pal l igo.
(she
looks
a t
the pa
ingl
I
te i t , don t
1
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
17/125
16.
S a f t e r
a
beat)
I
sure
do. are
you hanging
i t
up
i f
y hate
it?
~ I L Y
He s from the Third
World.
He s
coming
to the dinner for the Indian
Vice-President.
She shrugs.
S
grins)
Seat
him
next to
Nixon.
She
looks a t him, the twinkle of
a s l i g h t
smile
MILY
You re awful,
Sam.
e looks a t her ther e is a sadness between them
now.
S
smiles)
I know t
a beat)
What the
h e l l .
I v e always been
awful.
They look
a t
each other
a
beat.
S
Can I
talk
to
you
a lone , Emily?
She
looks a t him,
s u r p r i s e d .
MILY to
the Aides)
Would you
excuse
u s, please?
The women le a ve . They
look a t each o t h e r . Sam d o e s n t
know
how
to
begin.
MILY
I have a reception for
t he N atio nal
Council
o f th e Ju n io r League in 4S
minutes, Sam.
S
Emily, I m the
Pre side nt
of the
United
S t a t e s
MILY
the
F i r s t
Lady, Sam.
and I vl got
to
be
I m
got
n
VI
tei l l .
And
ve
ne.
in 4S
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
18/125
1 7 .
r know y o u r e the
F i r s t
ady
mily
but i f r can make time for you, you
can make time for me
too,
c a n t
you?
EMILY a f t e r
a beat,
sadly)
You
ha ve n t
made
time
for
me
in
t h i r t y
year s,
Sam.
They
look a t
each
ot he r
a long be a t .
EMILY
What
is i t ,
Sam? T e l l me.
He looks a t her
a
beat, then away.
with d i f f i c u l t y
They ve got some d i r t they re
threatening to us e
in the
campaign.
She
says
nothing:
he
looks
a t
her:
her face
i s
a mask.
EMILY
a f t e r a
long beat)
What do you want from me sympathy,
Sam?
Don t
you think that re ally is
asking
too
much? I feared the
d a y -
would
come when
one
of your
adventures
would
I v e
learned
to
seal
myself of f ,
Sam
The
c hild re n a re
grown. They ve
known
about your l i t t l e sweetmeats
for
years. Connie,
I m
a f r a i d,
has
become as promiscuous as you are.
I m
sorry,
Sam
I m
sorry
for
you an d
I m sorry
for me
an d
I m sorry for what
i t s
going to do
to
the
country i f
i t gets out.
But
t h a t s the best I can do.
I know.
advance
S a fte r
a long
beat)
I just wanted to give you
warning.
EMILY sadly)
I
got my
advance
warning t h i r t y
seven years ago, the
f i r s t
time
discovered you were
u n f a i t h f u l
me.
Although
I m
sure th at i f I ha d
been discerning, I would have
r i t e a r l
A
a t
EMILY
l e s l
00 y remember t h a t l i t t l e
lived in in
Chevy h ~ e
f i r s t
came here?
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
19/125
e
He says nothing, looks
a t
her .
EMILY smiles)
We were
happy
there,
we re n t
we
Sam I t ha d
t h a t
l i t t l e
yard in
the
back
the kids were
l i t t l e -
you d come
home
from work e a r l y ,
we d cook in the back yard . . .
She t r a i l s o f f .
S quietly)
I remember
EMILY
a f t e r
a beat)
d o n t
know
whatever made
me
think
of i t .
she looks a t her watch)
I
have
to
go,
Sam
He looks
a t
her , nods.
EMILY
Who is i t t h a t l i t t l e t e l e v i s i o n
r e p o r t e r ,
Sam?
Sam looks
a t
her
a b e a t , then shakes
h is
head.
EMILY
Don t
l i e to me Sam
a t l e a s t
we ve had t h a t .
You ve
never l ie d
to
me
~ o t a small
thing in
WaShington.
S M
I t s not her.
She looks
a t
him a
long b e a t .
EMILY
a f t e r a beat)
I s
ther e anything
e l s e
I d o n t know
about?
S M a f t e r a beat)
What do you
me n
ny
with?
EMILY
e l s e
they
can d i r t y you
ing
ll
j liit c a n t
S M
uncomf or table th n
t o t e l l
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
20/125
1 9.
~ ~ Y a f t e r a b est)
You look t i r e d .
Sam. Try
to
r e s t .
You may
not
bel i eve
i t , but
y o u r e
not a
spring
chicken anymore.
She
sm i l e s
a t him with f eelin g - - a b eat, and
then
he
smiles a t her. She turns
to
walk
o u t.
S
q u i e t l y )
Thank
you,
Emily.
She d o e s n t hear
i t ;
but
t he n,
he
sa i d
i t
so
s o f t l y he
d i d n t
want her
to
hear
i t .
EXT
THE
TRUMAN
BALCONY OF THE ~ t t T HOUSE - NIGHT
He
s i t s
out on the balcony, a
drink
in h is hand, a
phone
next to him. He s t a r e s . He piCKS
the
phone
up.
He looks
very
t i r e d .
S
Can you g e t my son
fo r
me p lease?
A long b e a t , as
he
waits - -
INTERCUT
- - And we
s ee SAM PARR JR.,
a
good-looking, easy - g o in 9
man in
h is
4 0 s on the phone in h is r an ch -s ty le house 1n
Denver.
SAM
ve r y t i r e d )
How s the i nsur a nc e
b u sin ess?
His
smile
i s forced.
SAM JR. s m i l es )
Hey Dad did you g e t my wire
a f t e r the debate? I thought
yo u
were
g r e a t ,
Dad.
SAM
stunk up
the
j o i n t and yo u know
t
SAM
JR.
New
yo u
were
j u s t
a
l i t t l e
t i r e d ,
t h a t s a l l .
SAM
am
t i
SAM JR. a f t e r
a
Dad - - a re okay?
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
21/125
20 .
S
(with
diff icul ty)
No
I m
not okay. r want to
talk
to
you
about sOmething.
A
long beat - -
he doesn t
know
what to say.
S
JR.
Lighten up,
Dad
- -
i t can t
that
bad.
At
that
moment Sam s grandchildren, MILLIE 6, and JOEY
8, grab the phone
from Sam J r .
MILLIE
Hi,
Grandpa We saw you on
the
TV
You
were good,
Grandpa
S (with d i f f i c u l t y
Why thank you,
darl ing.
MILLIE
You
want
to
talk
to
Joey? Joey
got
a
new
goldfish. He murdered the
other
one.
MILLIE (grabbing
phone)
Bye, Grandpa Love you
I did notl
Grandpa
JOEY (grabs phone)
I did not murder i t ,
JOEY (grabbing
phone)
Bye,
Grandpa
Love you
S
(emotionally)
I
love you, too,
goodbye.
S
JR .
(gets phone
back)
Sorry. What
i s i t
you
wanted
to
talk to me
about, Dad?
Sam
r z s
- -
how
can
he talk to him
S (af ter a beat)
Never mind. Listen,
r v e got
to
go. r v e got Gorbachev
on the
other
l i n e .
ad
i
Wait
a
i
SAM
JR. (suddenly upset )
minute, Dad There s
on the
Russ
Good
eer.
SAM
ght, kiddo.
ll talk to you
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
22/125
And he
hangs
up
and just s i t s there, staring out
into the
darkness
EXT
THE
ROSE GARDEN NIGHT
w l s
there are
Secret
Servicemen
a l love r
the
place
trying to
be unobtrusive.
NOTE:
The
Secret
Servicemen
wear
sunglasses
whenever
they
appear,
even at
night.
Doc Barley see s
him
as
he
is getting into his car. Doc
goes over to him.
DOC
What are you doing out here, Sam?
SAM (looks disturbed)
I
jus t
wanted to get
some
air
Doc.
Doc walks with him
as they
head toward the White House
gates
with
t his b atta lio n
of Secret
Servicemen
t rying
to
blend
into the
darkness.
SAM
You
know
something,
Doc? Sometimes
I think I
never should
have
l l
the
darn
farm
DOC
Well, just think
what
shape this
country d
be
in
i f
you
never
would ve lived here.
He
gestures
toward
the
White House.
SAM
(smiles I
This country s
in great
shape no
matter what happens. Vietnam.
Watergate.
Irangate. Contragate.
Assassinations. AIDS. We re
s t i l l
t ickin9
DOC
I t we got through a l l
that ,
we
can
get
through
Cowgate,
too.
looks
a t
h and
grins.
They
keep
walking.
MOREl
Now you
whored
1c
ye.u: l
here,
DOC
l h t en
to
Sam. I v e
a t
the
town
when
you rs t
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
23/125
O
CONT DI
~ were so
poor,
you used to to
every cocktai l party in town to f i l l
your pockets with hors d oeuvre so
you d
have
some
dinner.
You
remember that? You never took a
penny in your l i f e you
always
had
one considerat ion: the people . .
and
maybe
pussy.
I
don t
care
i f
you hump
hummingbirds,
hamsters, and
one-eyed
rhinos. I m
not going
to
l e t
you
drop
out of this race.
A long beat, as they walk.
S
love
t h i s country.
don t want
to do anything to hurt i t .
O
You p u l l o u t Sam
- - y o u l l
hurt
i t .
That
ni twi t
Vice-President
of
yours with
his ladi-dah
West Coast
ideas doesn t stand a chance
against
Jim Taylor and you know
i t .
You
think Jim Taylor cares about the
people? He
cares about Texas Oil
and
Boeing and the
defense budget
and the
suburbs. Jim
Taylor
l iving
here
would make
Nixon
look l i k e
OR
and
Reagan
look l i k e
Abe
Lincoln
Think
about
i t
Saml You
want Jim
and Tammy Bakker lying there
together
doing Christ knows what on
that
horsehair
mattress
in the
Lincoln
bedroom? Never mind you and
your
cow, t h a t s
obscene
A long
beat as
they
keep walk ing
toward the g a t e .
S
(quiet ly)
This c ou ntry s lik e
a
big bus,
Doc.
nd
a l l the people in i t
want
to
make sure t h a t the
man
a t
the
wheel
i s n t
going
to go
off
the c l i f f .
What are they
going
to think i f
t h i s
s t u f f comes out?
and Doc look
a t
each other a beat , and then t h e y
keep
walking.
nd the
Touris ts
who
are
down a t the White House
a t 1 times during the day
and
night see
t h e P re s i-
now s t a r t Secret Servicemen r
as he stands re
waves
as
h
Sam leoks a t him.
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
24/125
23 .
INT.
HIS
EDROOM -
He walks in . He looks t i red. The room is dark.
L CY
Su r p r ise;
He puts the l ights on, s ees her under the
s h e e t s .
She
wears blacK
l inger ie .
Lacy Morrow
is
a
very
b e a u t i f u l
woman. He s t ands th er e, looking a t her.
S M a
sl ight
smile)
I m t i red
honey.
L CY big sm ileI
Well, g et in here , Sam ll f r e she n
you
up.
He s i t s down on the sid e of the bed, lOOKS a t
h e r .
S M gent l y)
Don t
you
ever
worry
t h a t
this
might go p u b l i c somehow?
L CY
People woul dn t mind with you.
Everybody knew about JFK. God
am
I m
so so r r y I missed
JFK,
I
w s
jus t a baby.
S M a l i t t l e jealo u s)
JaCK ha d a
ba d
baCK.
A beat
up .
L CY
He ha d
to
move
ve ry, very
s l owl y.
he s m i l es a t
her
so r t
of s adl y
an d th e n g e ts
Good
n i g h t .
couch.
S M
I m
going to
f in d a
L CY
re
yo u ser io u s? What s t ma t t e r,
Sam? Something s th e ma t t e r, Sam.
I jus t know i t .
S M
s
thlll
matter.
L CY
can
was
in
Cleve
r
an d
kiss
s under
the
cover
gen t l y on
r a
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
25/125
24.
S
You said
r was
flaccid
imagine
t h a t on nationwide
TV
you
cal led
me
f lacc id .
You. Of a l l people.
That s a helluva thing to say
about
a man.
His
hand i s under
the
sheet; we can t e l l he i s fondling
her
breast .
L CY (smiles)
You re
not
f laccid now Sam. You re
the
President
of the-Dnited
States .
You don t want
to
sleep
on
the
couch,
Sam.
S (to
himself. quietly)
Oh
boy.
L CY
You re
the
most loving man I know
Sam. I
sleep better
knowing
you re
in
the White
House.
She is gUiding his hand.
S
I m the horniest man I know. I t s
always
been
my curse.
She
guides his hand lower,
s t a r t s
breathing deeper.
L CY
nd
my
and America s blessing.
S
I guess
I m too
old for
the
couch.
L CY
Yes,
you are.
nd he
moves
onto the
bed
next to her.
INT. HIS
EDROOM
MORNING
He i s asleep; Lacy
i s curled
around him.
Heff
and Doc
come storming into the
room.
HErr
{very agitatedj
Mr. Ptll sidentl
S
Jesus,
esff ,
i s n t
a
damn
peep
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
26/125
25.
H F
I t s a matter of national securi ty ,
Mr. President
L CY
(getting excited)
Oh
my God
I t s the Libyans
again,
i s n t i t ?
H F
Out, Lacy
Now
Lacy gets
out
of bed, half-covered with
the sheet .
Doc
ogles
her.
L CY
r
c a n t go, Sam. r t s my .
They l l
f i r e
me.
Sam s i t s up on the side of
the
bed in his pajamas, rubs
his eyes.
L CY
Please l e t me stay, Sam.
S M
Go
on,
honey.
Don t worry,
i f
i t s
Khadafi
again, ll
give ~
your
scoop.
She moves toward the door hesi tant ly , turns baCK.
L CY
Do you promise, Sam?
S M
I
do.
L CY
Is
i t
a firm promise?
S M
Unequivocal.
nd Lacy t r a i l i n g the sheet, is gone. Doc
watches
her
leavt
DO
(admiringly)
You ve s t i l l got the
eye,
Sam
lookll a t Heff, who lookS
a g i t a t e d .
A
be.n:,
a
we t
puts it
stands
up, st : . ret
in brown envelope.
opens i t a t
rllph - -
beat, and then
Sam
i s
head
the
envelope.
They watch him.
He
goes to
a window looks
out.
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
27/125
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
28/125
O
r checked
Jimbc out
the day a f t e r
his nomination.
S M s t a r t l e d j
You
did?
DOC
He s
olean.
HEFF
Nobody s olean except
maybe
George
McGovern and he s
dead
S M
No, he i s n
t
HEFF
Yes, he
i s .
He
died in November of
7 2
DOC
Jimbo
jacks-off a l l
the
time.
That s i t .
S M (smiles)
I t f igures.
A beat.
HEFF
They want an answer, Mr.
President .
What do we
t e l l them?
S M
(nervous)
I need a c i g a r e t t e .
HEFr
(very
upset)
I f you s t a r t smoking again, t s
going
to
be more controversial
than
E l s i e l
S M
(upset)
George Bush
got
away
with
no
broccol i
DOC
(s tern)
He s
r ight ,
Sam.
27.
them
c a n t
thl Y ever
r ight?
get the damn order
He s t a r t s goi
RINGING
on
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
29/125
HEFF
Oh shi t I t s the hot
l ine
O
That s a l l
we needed
- -
what does he
want?
Sam
goes
the phone
wari ly,
picks
i t
up.
S
Hello?
(he l i s tens)
Yes,
Mike.
How are you?
(he
l i s tens)
Well, appreciate that , Mike.
(he
l i s tens)
Well, sometimes
th ese th in gs
happen
in our
campaigns.
Heff
and Doc look a t each other.
S (on
the
phone)
just got
the
photograph
a
couple
minutes
ago myself.
HEFF (to Doc, angrily)
Goddamnitl
O
(angri ly)
knew i t l I knew i t l
S
(on
phone)
That s nice
of
you, Mike. I t real ly
i s . Thank you, I appreciate i t .
He
hangs up. They s ta re
a t him.
S
He
got i t
l a s t
night
already.
O
they
were
behind
th i s .
S
ome on, Doc - -
nix
on that
HEFr
(upset)
Nixon?
What
about
Nixon?
S
- -
We re
a l ibe ra l administration.
in glasnost.
O
I m
a
l ibe ra l l I m
a
JFK-LBJ-Scoop
Jackson l ibe ra l
How
the he l l did
they
get i t
did i f they re
not behi i t ?
28.
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
30/125
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
31/125
30.
S MPSON
They re c a l l i n g us the same
we re c a l l i n g them,
to see
what
we re
going
to do
with
i t an d What
t h e y r e
going to
do with
i t .
KOHNER
We re
having i t
analyzed - - i t s
a
waste
of
time
- - nooody s
got
th e
negat i ve.
M RTIN
Well,
i t
c e r t a i n l y
looks l i k e Sam
S MPSON
P l eas e. I am not even
going
to
consider the
p o s s i b i l i t y
t h a t t h i s
i s the Pr esid en t of the
United
St a t e s engaged in - - in - - wi t hout
t o t a l , a bsol ut e , s c i e n t i f i c
v e r i f i c a t i o n .
M RTIN in n o cen tly )
Where d id you grow up,
Ar t hur ?
S MPSON
Where d id grow up? What does t h a t
have
to
do with i t ? grew up in
Boston.
Where did you
grow
up?
M RTIN s l i g h t smile)
grew
up
in E st e s, Iowa.
S MPSON
d o n t
understand
th e re le va nc e
M RTIN
wiping s m i l e o f f )
Never
mind.
They
walk
i nt o a
small, c u b i c l e - l i k e
o f f i c e .
Lacy
Morrow
s i t s t h e r e .
L Y
smiles)
Arthur, E l l i o t
- -
h i,
what a
pl e a sa nt s u r p r i s e - -
E l l i o t tak es a
photograph
out o f an envel ope, p u t s
in
front o f
her - -
we
d o n t
see the
phot ogr a ph.
Lacy looks a t i t and breaks out in wi , u n c o n t r o l
l a u g h t e r .
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
32/125
L Y
What
am
I
l augh ing about ?
I t s
sick
t h i s
i s supposed to be the
President of the
United States
doing
i t
t o
a cow?
S MPSON
Yes i s .
She s t a r t s
to laugh again.
KO N R
Please take a close look
a t
the
photograph,
Lacy.
She
laughs again and
then her
laugh
freezes.
L Y
Are you serious?
M RTIN
We re
serious.
L Y
But you
c a n t
be
- -
t h i s
i s supposed
to be
She t r a i l s
o f f
s t a r e s i t .
M RTIN
Is
i t him?
She
looks a t Martin.
S MPSON
Is i t
M RTIN
Sorry.
Iowa.
She
stares a t them.
31.
ome on.
ome
on,
L Y
ome
on
you guyS
I mean
- - really
Are you nuts?
M RTIN
Look
a t
ths
photograph,
Lacy
She looks a t a l l
three
of
them.
L Y
does tha t mean?
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
33/125
32.
KOHNER
(hard)
You
know
what means. I t
means
we
knew
about the Pres ident s
p r o c l i v i t i e s .
That s
one of the
reasons you re covering the
White
House.
L CY (offended)
I f
I
told
my
f rie nd G lo ria
Steinem
what you j u s t
said to
me
KOttNER
I
said
i t was
one of the factors
- -
a
very minor, almost negligible, though
not comple te ly i r re levant
factor .
She s t a r e s
a t them.
M RTIN
(quiet ly)
Look
a t
the
photograph,
Lacy.
Please.
A long beat ,
and
then she looks
a t
the
photograph fo r a
long
beat.
L Y (quietly)
Oh
my God.
She
s t a r e s
a t i t .
S MPSON
How do you know my dear?
L Y
( in a whisper)
I v e
seen
that
smile.
She
keeps
star ing
a t
the
photograph.
S MPSON
I
see.
INT.
A V ST COWFERENCE ROOM D Y
I t i s
a
meeting
of
the National Security Counci1.
VICE-
PRESIDENT PETER R H M
chairs
the
meeting and t
a t the
head
of the
long,
beautifully-burnished mahogany confer
ence t a b l e . He i s 44, a
good-looking,
d a r k - h a i r e d you
n
9
looking
man.
S i t t i n g around
t h e
t a b l e
of
them, are:
GENER L BENJAMIN
Chairman of the
RO ERT
RASTINGS almost
s k e l e t a l
in
h i s
50 l ,
wl i u i
s w i re r im m e d glass s, r e c t o r
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
34/125
33 .
NDREW M RLEY
- -
t h i n .
almost sK eletal
in his
5 0 s
wear
ing
gold wire-rimmed g l a s s e s
the
CIA D ir e otor .
JOSTIN NDERSON - - s h o r t bald
pr ies t ly ,
th e S ec re ta ry
of
Sta.te.
JOE C RSON
- - broad-shouldered
in
h is
4 0 s bla c k
the
Attorney General.
DON LD Y NUCCI - - horn-rimmed g l a s s e s very
tr im 5 0 s
the S ec re ta ry o f Defense.
E GOLDM N - - 5 0 s
f iery , a
pepper-pot
of
a man the
Se c r e ta r y o f th e In ter ior .
VICE PRESIDENT GR H M
I v e asked you to come here to th i s
s p e c i a l
meeting o f
th e c o un cil in
th e utmost se c r e c y to disc u s s the
g r a v e s t
ma tte r
o f n a t i o n a l
s e c u r i t y :
th e
competence
o f
the
P re sid en t o f
th e
United
S t a t e s
to
govern.
s
he
speaKs
we
see
t h a t most of th e men i n th i s room
d o n t
l ike him. .- -
VICE PRESIDENT
GR H M
W i l l you p lease p a s s thes e down?
We se e a stack of photographs - - we d o n t s e e th e photo
i t s e l f . s they p ass the m down
we
se e the i r
fac ia l
r e a c
t i o n s :
some a r e
open-mouthed
some cough some
shOW no
response some turn i t
upside
down
an d
back.
The
V ic e - Pr e side nt
an d
S e c r e t a r y of
S t a t e
Anderson
g i v e
each o th er a smug
v i c t o r i o u s
look as
th e o t h e r s
look a t
their photo.
INT.
THE CONFERENCE ROOM
L TER
Everyone
jus t s i t s thece
the i r
photograph in f ron t o f
them. A long b e a t .
VICE PRESIDENT
GR H M
Who
would
l ike
to begin?
GENER L WOODS
Does
Sam
know
yo u
c a l l e d
th i s
meeting?
VICE PRESIDENT
GR H M
idering th e
matter
a t
hand
an d
cons
ing
own c o n s t i
i o n a l
respons t l i t es
an d
our
possible
c our se s of action
I thought
i t
b e s t
not
to a dvise the
President.
GENER L
WOODS
5 kick r l
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
35/125
34.
SECRET RY OF
ST TE NDERSON
nervous)
want
to make c lea r th a t
we
are not
here
to
pass
on
the a u t h e n t i c i t y o f
t h i s a ll eg ed i nc id en t.
We are
here
to co nsid er
t domestic an d
global
national s e c u r i t y
implications
posed
by the p o t e n t i a l
i n t e r n a t i o n a l
dissemination
of these a l l e g a t i o n s .
GENER L W S
t Graham
Sam s s t i l l
gonna kick
your
ass.
A long
beat.
GENER L W S
d o n t
see
what
the big
whoop-de
doo
is .
Sam s alw ays stuck
i t into
~ n y t h i n g
t h a t
walks.
He
t ied one
on
an d i t happens.
TTORNEY
GENER L
C RSON
You
mean he was
drunk?
The
P re sid en t o f the
United
S tates was
drunk?
SECRET RY
OF INTERIOR GOLDM N
Well, I d have
to be p r e t t y damn
drunk to
do
i t
SECRET RY
OF DEFENSE Y NUCCI
How much is the Pr esident drinking?
FBI
DIRECTOR H S ~ I N S
He s always lik e d h is Jack D ~ n i e l s
a t
the
end
o f
th e day. H e s
not
joyr iding
around
th e
ranch
l i k e L
d id
with
a six-pack
or crawling
around
on
h is hands and
knees with
Kissinger
l ike Nixon d i d .
SECRET RY
OF INTERIOR GOLDM N
His
drinking has always
be e na .
p a r t
of h is pol i t ica l s t r a t e g y . When he
was in the S e n a t ~ he voted w ith the
North and
drank with
the
Soutb,
and
every
bi l l he cared about got
through.
TTORNEY GENER L C RSON
What about th e black
box?
Nukes and
s
d o n t
mix.
GENER L
W S
t worry th e box. No
President
I v e ever known even knows
to
open
it
That stuns
everyone
a beat.
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
36/125
35.
ATTORNEY GENERAL
CARSON
There s
no evidence t h a t the
man
in
t h i s photograph is the
P res ident
of
the
United S t a t e s .
There s
no
ev id en ce of
any
kind even t h a t t h i s
photograph
i s r e a l .
GENERAL WOO S
laughs)
Are
you
kidding?
That S
Sam.
How
much do you want to bet t h a t s
Sam
CIA DIRECTOR MARLEY
We
are already analyzi the
photograph - - the glossy i t s e l f . We
d o n t
have
the
negative,
of
co u rse,
,but we
are
c ov er tl y a c ti ve
in
determining
the photo
lab
where
i t
was processed.
FBI DIRECTOR HASTINGS
We
a re o ve rtly
covertly a c t i v e
in
making
t h a t
determination.
ATTORNEY
GENERAL CARSON
What does o v er tl y c ov er tl y mean?
FBI DIRECTOR HASTINGS
I t
means
we
are not doing
what
w e r e
doing.
To put i t another way - - w e r e
doing
what
w e re
not doing.
ATTORNEY GENERAL CARSON a f t e r a
beat)
Observe
your
sanctions.
MARLEY
N
HASTINGS
t o g e t h e r )
Of
cours e.
VICE PRESIDENT
GRAHAM
The New York Times, the Washington
P o s t , an d
the
networks were
aerrv ered copies t h i s morning.
That s t u n s everyone. A long b e a t .
SECRETARY OF
INTERIOR
GOLDM N
Who the
h e l l
delivered em?
FBI
DIRECTOR HASTINGS
active
in
making t h a t
nat
e
I
t
l e t l y )
-
8/10/2019 Sacred Cows by Joe Eszterhas
37/125
e
36.
Vice-President Graham looks l ike he is despera te ly t ry ing
to hide
a
secret
smile.
SECRET RY
OF
INTERIOR GOLDMAN
Are you
crazy?
In the final month
of
the
campaign?
We'd be handing
over the White House to them
SECRET RY OF
ST TE NDERSON
The
Vice-President
wi
GENER L WOODS
(to Graham)
The Vice-President s going
cO
get
reamed
worse than that COw
VICE PRESIDENT GRAHAM
(angrily)
resent
that I ve served in the
Senate,
in
the
sta te legis lature
GENER L
WOODS
In
California
VICE PRESIDENT GRAHAM
My
personal l i f e
is
clean.
SECRET RY
OF
INTERIOR
GOLDM N
Aw, bullshi
t
VICE PRESIDENT GRAHAM
(offended)
I beg
your
pardon?
SECRET RY
OF
INTERIOR GOLDM N
You re from California
You
think
anybody
in America thinks
Cal iforni ans a re
clean?
They
think
you re
from
outer
space.
VICE PRESIDENT GRAHAM (eaken aback)
President Reagan
was from
California
GENER L
WOODS
(angri ly)
ae
was from
Notre Dame
FBI DIRECTOR
H STINGS
( a f t e r
a
beat)
Perhaps
we re
overstating
the
potent ial
pub lic react ion to
th is .
DIRECTOR
/A l\ RLE l
perhaps
we re not.
VICE PRESIDENT
GRAHAM
is
ranl:
I:'i
SECRET RY
re
the
Californian,
0 t on tha t
INTERIOR r;CILLJN,1: