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Official Statement Regarding the Status Quo
Dear United States Congressmen and Congresswomen,
We here at the Perbtani administration have recently come to be aware of an
unexpected situation. A situation that requires important attention from the most
qualified members of this United States assembly.
On the evening of September 23rd, 2019, a group of American scientists conducting
research in Antarctica stumbled onto a layer of permafrost deep below the surface. After an
incident in which they drilled too far into the layer of permafrost, a disease once thought to
be permanently eradicated from modern society was released. The head scientist on the
expedition, Filomena Selvanik, and her partner, Lonnelius Walters unfortunately
contracted the disease shortly after breaking through the permafrost. They are currently
exhibiting heinous, potentially fatal symptoms and are scheduled to come back to the U.S.
as soon as they can. Symptoms include: whooping cough, nausea, vomiting, dizziness,
migraines, sweating, bloody stool and hemoptysis. This break in the ice from their drilling
coupled with the rapidly increasing change in climate we’re experiencing is expediting the
spread of this disease and we must act quickly.
We as an administration and we as a nation are of course concerned for the safety of
not only these two brave scientists but the rest of the world as a whole. During your session
on the date of October 5th, we will be watching and observing and determining which of
you are the most qualified individuals to address this potential crisis. We will be selecting
approximately 16 of the most qualified, knowledgeable, and capable congressmen and
congresswomen to help establish how to deal with this issue. The legislation below is the
legislation that will be debated and analyzed by those individuals. Any further updates or
potential legislation will be given to you as the situation develops.
Good luck and godspeed.
Sincerely, the Perbtani Administration.
Advancing Research Correlated To Iced Contagion (A.R.C.T.I.C) Act
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BE IT ENACTED BY THE CONGRESS HERE ASSEMBLED THAT:
SECTION 1. A. The United States shall work multilaterally with China to
invest in further research in Antarctica specifically to develop our
understanding of the disease being released by permafrost.
B. The United States shall also impose a ban on all carbon-
emitting energies beginning in 2022 as to slow down climate change which
contributes to the melting of permafrost in the Arctic.
C. The United States shall put 75 billion dollars into the
budget of the Department of Energy specifically for furthering the
development of green energy alternatives both through research and the
subsidization of currently existing green energy companies.
SECTION 2. A. “Permafrost” shall be defined as a thick layer of subsoil
that appears in polar regions that can contain harmful bacteria and
diseases.
B. “Carbon-emitting energies” shall be defined as any form
of fuel or power source that emits CO2 when being utilized.
C. “Green energy alternatives” shall include but will not be
limited to solar energy, wind energy, and the production of biofuels.
SECTION 3. A. The United States Arctic Research Commission will work
in tandem with the Department of State to coordinate permafrost research
with China.
B. The Department of Energy will have the responsibility of
determining what green energy alternatives shall be prioritized, what
green energy companies are worthy of subsidization, and how the budget
of 75 billion will be split.
SECTION 4. This bill shall be implemented immediately after ratification.
SECTION 5. All laws in conflict with this legislation are hereby declared
null and void.
Submitted For Debate By the Perbtani Administration