rocket lawn chairs 2
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Fences Are Fucking Evil
John Hugar
The fence probably seems like a harmless thing. Something
that merely exists as a barrier between one building and another. But I
can promise you, it’s something far more sinister than that. Fences are
not only an evil device, possibly born in the fieriest pits of hell, but
they just might be responsible for all of the problems in modern socie-
ty today.
First off, let’s think about what a fence does. It often acts as a
means of separation. They separate one house from another, the kid
who is strong enough to jump over the fence from the kid who isn’t,
the player who is strong enough to hit a home run from the player who
pops out at the warning track. Let’s be honest; it’s no coincidence that
the American Dream involves owning a “white picket fence”. It’s not
just about accumulating enough wealth to be able to afford such an
item, it’s about being able to effectively keep the neighbors out.
Fences are also pretty divisive. If they weren’t we wouldn’t
have to phrase “sitting on the fence” to describe someone who has yet
to make up their mind about a given political issue. One side of the
fence would have all the pro-choice people while the other would have
all the pro-lifers. The fence exists as a means of keeping the two sides
from ever reaching a consensus. Once again, it’s all about the separa-
tion.
So, let’s see where we are so far. Fences exist to divide us, both
physically and emotionally. But why do we have to be divided? If we
want to achieve the brotherhood and equality that all the hippie musi-
cians of the 60s speak about, wouldn’t the first step be to tear down all
the fences? Wait, I’ll go one step further with that: Wasn’t the Berlin
Wall essentially just a very large fence? And what was the reason for
it? Once again, to divide people who believed different things. In this
sense, it was a physical and emotional barrier.
However, it did inspire David Bowie to write “Heroes”, where two
lovers on opposite sides met at the wall and shared a tender kiss. And
what was the point of that? To show us that love can conquer any
fence. As usual, Ziggy Stardust shows us the way.
So, for all the reasons, fences are an unnecessary bother. They
exist to keep us separate from each other. They promote class warfare,
and they stop us from reaching an understanding. On top of all that,
have you ever tried to climb a fence? And you have one leg on each
side? And that one of the spikes hits you right in the balls? That shit
hurts! And it ruins your pants! That settles it! Tear all the fences down
now!
(Art by Ben Park)
[Fences help to keep things out]
Fences help to keep things out.
Preventing people from making me pout.
With rigid walls, and a sturdy post.
They ensure I am a lonely host.
A lonely host who wont feel harm,
By falling prey to someone's charm.
Me, myself, and I make three,
Reveling in my misery.
This fence of mine will be my doom.
forever alone, locked in this tomb.
I realize now when it is too late.
This fence I built, could've used a gate.
-Jeffy Weffy
My World Divided
The vast expanse of grass and trees
The perfect size for games
Friends just a safari away
Or if needed a daring rescue
One day ends another begins
Something has changed
What are these holes?
What are these posts?
This isn’t good
It’s not fair
Every morning as I look
My great world grows smaller
No more safaris
No longer to rescue
My world divided
I hate this stupid wall
Some much time later it seems like years
A hole appears in that bad wall
A head shows followed by a shout
“Come into my fort and swim in my moat”!
By:
Allison Courtney
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[Recreate a creation]
By: Anonymous
I want to recreate a creation
Something big
Something amazing
I want to create a re-creation
It will be three stories high
High enough for a library on the top floor
Floors done with marble class
Classical modern will be the outside
Outside will have a huge lawn of grass
Grass accompanied by flowers of the best kind
Kind of like something out of a magazine
Magazines won’t be the main inspiration
It will have lots of rooms
Rooms for everyone in the family that visits
Visit my kitchen, garden, and pool
Pool table in the basement with entertainment of love
Each room will be designed for a person
Personal touches are the best for a home
Homie feelings with an air of elegance and awe
Awesome equipment, comfortable furniture
Furnish each room with a different theme
Themes that are possible not just imaginable
Imagine the bicycles, cars and skateboards you will see
See a whole imaginary house
It is surrounded by a huge fence
Fences of corresponding material for corresponding areas
Areas that are enclosed and made only for us
Then I will destroy and tear it down
Starting with that huge gaudy fence on the borders
The borders missing next is the top floor
Floors will be removed and smashed into splinters
Splinters and fluff, clouds and swirls
A recreation of a creation
A creation of the mind
They are arguing. They are not seeing eye to eye. They are
disagreeing, and presenting, and rebutting, and riposting, but mostly
they are just arguing.
They are saying things to eachother. Things like “Yes, but…”
and “Well, no. If…” and “Supposing we assume that…”, but mostly
they are not saying very much at all. They are trying to remain civil,
but they are becoming angry.
They’re really getting into it now. One man is saying that,
while he respects the other man’s opinion, he cannot abide by its exist-
ence, and the other man is still not saying very much at all.
Now one man’s dagger is making sharp arguments to the hole
in the other man’s stomach, and the hole is softly burbling that it con-
cedes; all is in agreement.
—Metonymically Meta-anonymous in Chicago
By: M
eg Leach
Hey hey good-lookin’—
—and welcome to the second issue of ROCKET LAWN CHAIRS— read it or rub it
on your nipples, whatever toots your whistle—who are we to judge?
The issue you hold in your hands was built around the common theme: FENCES. Were
you touched? Were you tickled? Were you turned on? And are you… inspired? Are
you suddenly filled with an overwhelming and incapacitating urge to be part of
homegrown magazine publication? If so, read on—this is the page with the submis-
sion rules—
1. Everything is accepted. Photography, drawings, paintings, comics, poetry, short sto-
ries, instruction manuals, recipes, hieroglyphics—if it can be put on paper, we will
run it.
2. We will edit your work as much or as little as you desire. If you want us to scour
your work over for grammar and spelling, we will do that. If you want us to run your
piece with eraser smudges and cross outs, we will do that as well. If you submit a
piece without instructions, we will run it as we see fit.
3. Submissions are accepted in two different ways. The first is through email:
The second is by using our physical drop box in the Lockwood library. To do this,
insert your submission in any random book and send the title and call number to our
email. We will email you when your submission is received.
4. The theme of the next issue is: MATCHES. Submit anything you want, so long as a
match is in there somewhere. We accept submissions until the last day of the month,
and will run the next issue as close to the first Monday of each month as possible.
(There are some exceptions, but this month isn’t one of them, so don’t worry about
it.)
5. Barring some act of mysterious funding, this magazine is printed entirely using pros-
titution wages and print quotas. If you want to donate your print quota, send us an
email and we will arrange a time to meet with you and print things.
6. This is the most important rule: this magazine likes to travel. Please don’t throw it
away—take it with you and leave it somewhere. Leave it in your chemistry class, or
Starbucks, or an airplane. Stick it in a random mailbox, or hide it in a laundry basket.
Give it to a stranger. Pass it on, and if you put it somewhere really cool, send us an
email, because we like shit like that.
We hope you enjoyed the second issue. Now go have an adventure—and then come back
and tell us about it so we have something to print. Be hearing from you soon.