Revising Writing

W r i t i n g M o n o g r a p h S e r i e s

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W r i t i n g M o n o g r a p h S e r i e s

Revising Writing

Authors

Lori Bolling

Cathlynn Richard Dodson

Elizabeth Woodworth

Program Design and Development

Sally Hampton

Introduction 1

The Elements of Revision 3Purpose

Checking for Meaning

Refining the Craft of Writing

Revision Strategies and Teaching Tips

Revision Responsibilities

Creating a Successful Environment for Revision 10

When Not to Revise, When to Revise 13

A Final Note 14

References 16

Revising Writing

Table of Contents

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Revising Writing

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The creativity for getting good words on paper is available to everyone (though some people find it difficult to let themselves use it). But revising requires wisdom, judgment and maturity. There is no way to get these qualities except through practice and experience (Elbow, 1981, p. 121).

Revising WritingOnce a draft is complete, writers turn their attention to revising. Some stu-dents (perhaps many) resist this pro-cess, thinking revision is nothing more than recopying their work. Rather, revision involves refining and consid-ering whether the piece reflects the possibilities of the genre. According to Steve Zemelman and Harvey Daniels in A Community of Writers, students often believe that “revision time usually means you did it wrong at first, and your punishment is to correct lots of errors marked in red” (Zemelman and Daniels, 1988, p. 171). Your greatest

challenge in teaching students about the revision process lies in helping them understand that revision is more than just correcting errors. Show stu-dents that revision is a vital step in the writing process: a way of rethinking a piece of writing, looking at it with new perspective and purpose. Revising means considering options to make the meaning of a piece of writing as clear as it can be. Revision also happens in the planning stage; writers can plan and revise that plan before ever writ-ing a word.

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Revising Writing

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Donald Murray, in Write to Learn, says:

Revision is reseeing the entire draft so

that the writer can deal with the large

issues that must be resolved before the

writer deals with line-by-line, word-by-

word issues involved in editing. In reading

for revision, it is important to step back

and scan the draft so that you can see it

as a whole, noticing such things as the

relationship between the section of the

draft that you cannot see when you are

concentrating on the relationship between

a particular verb and an individual noun

(Murray, 1996, p. 145).

In teaching revision, you’ll help students learn the difference between editing and revising — that both are important elements of the writing pro-cess and that each deserves its own place in that process.

Revision involves re-visioning liter-ally; Regie Routman, in Invitations, calls it, “looking again” (Routman, 1994, p. 165). When Routman goes to class-rooms to assist with children’s writing, she tries first to demonstrate herself as a writer, distributing chapter drafts and explaining to students how many drafts she does for each chapter. “I always let students know,” she writes, “how tough revision is ahead of time, and I find my honesty does not scare them off — quite the contrary. Like a pilot warn-ing passengers that they are about to experience turbulence, letting students

know that revision will be challenging helps prepare them for the work ahead” (Routman, 1994, p. 165).

Teaching revision has deep impli-cations for your students, deeper than you might suspect. Donald Graves, in

A Fresh Look at Writing, agrees that revi-sion is reseeing a piece of work, but also says, “to some degree, a child’s decision to revise … is developmental. It depends on the child’s ability to read the world and express her perceptions and understanding in her writing. Even more, it depends on the teacher’s demonstration for her students of her own reflective stance so that they will look at the world in a new way” (Graves, 1994, p. 226). Students need adequate time to rethink their work, to listen to each other and to them-selves to distinguish voice, and to work within a room that is arranged in a way that allows for interaction. With time to learn, time to grow and a room conducive to writing growth, students will gain sophistication and learn about different ways of drafting, as well as different points of view and voice.

Stressing revision as a distinct stage in the writing process offers students a chance to get a draft well in hand before judging the quality of that draft. By waiting until a draft is finished, students can look critically at a completed work. This allows them the freedom to pour rough ideas into the first draft, without stopping

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and evaluating their work, perhaps never to start again. Instead, they can concentrate on creating material, find-ing a rhythm and making something they can work with. Students will feel better if they know there will be a chance to revise later; this perception can change the writer’s approach to the first draft, create less stress and allow the possibility of experimenta-tion without fear.

The Elements of RevisionAs you introduce your students to the actual task of revising a piece of writ-ing, make sure they understand that the first thing they must do is consider how well the choices they made in the origi-nal draft are working; then they must decide if alternative choices might work even better. “Writers develop their own approaches to revision,” says Ziegler in The Writing Workshop: Volume 1. “Some

like to plow through from beginning to end on each draft, and others prefer to revise in sections, particularly on longer pieces” (Ziegler, 1981, p. 80). It’s important to stress to students that they have options in both drafting and revis-ing. As discussed in more detail later, students who know they have options are more inclined to revise their work (Graves, 1994, p. 229).

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Students need adequate time

to rethink their work, to listen

to each other and to themselves

to distinguish voice, and to

work within a room that is

arranged in a way that allows

for interaction.

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Revising Writing

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As with the writing process as a whole, each stage has its own steps or components. By breaking down a task into manageable pieces, students can see where they must go without intimidation, plan how to progress and achieve goals.

PurposeWriters need to know why they are writing — what the purpose is. Revision, too, depends on purpose. According to Zemelman and Daniels, it’s important for students to feel pas-sionate about the piece they are work-ing on, to care about the topic they chose, to own the writing. With owner-ship comes the desire to make a piece better. Students who care deeply about their topics have more invested in their writing; they want to make it as clear as possible.

To help students consider the pur-pose behind their revisions, Zemelman and Daniels suggest having them con-sider the following questions:l Are you revising to create a perfect

product?

l Are you communicating clearly to your targeted audience?

l Are you revising to help yourself understand or develop your ideas? (Zemelman and Daniels, 1988, p. 173).

In Deep Revision, Meredith Sue Willis maintains that a major purpose of revision is to make the work fuller, more expressive, more interesting. She writes: “Thus children don’t mind going back over what they’ve written if someone really wants to know more about it and treats them as what they are — experts on their own real lives and imagined experiences” (Willis, 1993, p. 64).

. . . it’s important for students

to feel passionate about the

piece they are working on, to

care about the topic they chose,

to own the writing.

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Checking for Meaning Bringing clarity to a piece of writing is probably the main purpose of revision. Clarity involves checking for mean-ing and determining whether a reader will easily understand the message the piece has set out to communicate. Often, inexperienced writers may not realize how much the reader needs to know; they have an image in mind and are surprised when their writing doesn’t clearly convey that message (Willis, 1993, p. 64). Lucy Calkins, in The Art of Teaching Writing, believes that revision does not necessarily mean repairing a draft. She asserts that “[revision] means using the writing I have already done to help me see more, feel more, think more, learn more” (Calkins, 1994, p. 39).

Donald Murray offers some writ-er’s “tricks” for bringing clarity to writing in Crafting a Life:

l Scan the draft to see if anything has been left out.

l Read aloud to hear the music of the draft, making sure it communicates meaning.

l Look for what works and develop it.

l Cut what can be cut. Less is usually more.

l Ask readers questions and make sure they are answered.

l Consider the pace, slowing down the text so the reader can absorb each point, and speeding it up so he or she will not put the piece down (Murray, 1996, p. 141).

Refining the Craft of WritingMost students have to be instructed in the craft of writing. If your intent is to encourage a student to rethink an introduction, for example, then the student must have the tools to do so. There must be instruction on the many ways to begin writing a piece, so that the writer has a variety of options to consider and use to improve a piece of writing. The same is true of end-ings, descriptions and varying sen-tence length. Good craft mini-lessons will help you show students that the craft of writing is not a mystical talent given to only a few, but something that can be learned and used success-fully in all writing. (See Craft Lessons by Ralph Fletcher and JoAnn Portalupi for a series of craft mini-lessons for grades K–8.)

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Once the draft is complete, Ziegler, in The Writing Workshop: Volume I, advises the use of the following checklist for revision:

l Check for visual content of descrip-tion and the use of concrete rather than abstract language. Are there concepts that should be supported, if not replaced, by details?

l Look for spots where the level of language can be elevated to imag-ery, including metaphor. Is there a more lively way of saying some-thing?

l Take a hard look at the beginning and the end. Does the piece need a new beginning in light of what transpired during the writing pro-cess? Should it end where it does, or are there new horizons still to explore?

l Is the piece written in the most appropriate tense?

l Check for repetitive sentence struc-tures — starting several sentences the same way or having sentences of similar lengths.

l Check for too much description.

l Check for grammatical and punc-tuation errors.

l Read the piece out loud to see if any changes in “sound” occur to you (Ziegler, 1981, pp. 90–2).

Use this list as a starting point. Modify it with your class and then add to it as you find other things to con-sider in the process of revision.

Revision Strategies and Teaching Tips As a student works to clarify and refine a piece of writing, content will inevitably be reorganized, deleted, added or reworked. Students need to understand that revising is not editing. Editing is about looking at the conven-tions of language: spelling, punctua-tion, grammar, mechanics. Revision is, in part, about making language usage choices so that the writing becomes richer.

“Many students claim they have revised a piece when all they have done was to ‘fumigate’ — exterminate errors,” says Ziegler. He offers this metaphor for approaching revision:

Imagine that you are a boss of a factory or

company, and the words you have written

are your employees. You are an extremely

tough, demanding boss, but a fair one. If

the workers are productive, they stay; if

not, they go.

Some words get fired because they don’t

do their jobs well and need to be replaced,

as in “The meal set up before him was

unappetizing.” The word unappetizing gets

the pink slip, perhaps being replaced by

“greasy, with a faint odor of ammonia.”

The word boss must also recognize when

to hire new workers — there is a job to be

done, but no one is doing it: “There were

stains on her shirt.” Something is missing

in this sentence. Were they coffee stains,

wine stains, or mud stains? It makes a

difference (Ziegler, 1981, p. 80).

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The following strategies may facilitate revision by helping students understand that being prepared for revision is as important as the act itself. The preparation makes revision easier.

When writing on lined paper, write on every other line so

space is available to make notes or change words or phrases.

When writ-ers wish to add writing to a project, the

blank back side of a page provides the perfect spot. Rather than cut and tape information, students may simply mark the spot on the front side of the project where they wish to insert infor-mation, then write additional text on the back side.

When writers wish to add to or move text around within

a piece, they can write the additional text on a separate piece of paper, indi-cating on the original draft (with an asterisk or other symbol) where the additional writing goes. They also can cut the additional text from the sepa-

rate paper and tape it on the original draft close to where it will eventually be inserted.

When writers wish to move text around within a piece, they can cut the writing into small pieces that can be moved around and taped in the revised order. (See the mini-lesson on teaching cutting and taping.)

The practice of lining out instead of eras-ing should

become automatic early on in the Writers Workshop. Since revision is an important stage in the writing pro-cess, and a student’s ultimate goal is to grow as a writer, all evidence of that growth must be saved. Not only will this assist your assessment of students’ progress, but they will appreciate seeing how much they’ve accom-plished as writers.

To validate and reinforce the “no erasing” philosophy,

tell students that when they wish to remove text from a piece of writing, they should mark through it with a single line rather than erase it, scribble through it or use liquid paper to mark it out.

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Cut and Tape

Skip Lines

Don’t Erase

Delete Information

Write on Only One Side

of the Paper

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It’s also important to teach the value of revision. “Until children can value one part of the story over another, and know how to heighten meaning through the exclusion or reorganization of information, they do not grow in revision abilities,” says Graves in Writing: Teachers and Children

at Work (Graves, 1983, p. 156). The fol-lowing ideas for teaching may serve as a starting point for your students in their mastery of the revision step of the writing process:

Ask students to identify various parts of speech or elements in

their paper, such as nouns, pronouns, adjectives, comparisons or dialogue. Then ask if they can think of any words that are more interesting. Read several examples aloud. Discuss how changing a word can make the piece sound better.

Discuss with students how the beginning of a narrative

should engage the reader in a variety of ways. On the board, write an ordi-nary beginning and then discuss alter-native adjectives, nouns and dialogue.

Use the begin-ning discussed above, but try rearranging the sentences in a

variety of ways to see which is most effective.

Tell students you are going to dramatize a feeling and that

they should watch what you say and do closely. Stomp your feet. Cross your arms. Scrunch up your face and frown. Ask students to describe what actions occurred and how they showed what you were feeling. Then tell stu-dents, “I’m very angry.” But don’t allow tone of voice or body language to enhance your statement — be very calm. Now, ask students which was the more convincing display of emo-tion. Explain that the description should show a reader the emotion of a character. Telling just isn’t as effective.

Taking time to cover individual elements of the revision process gives students the chance to learn many strategies so they can begin to focus on what works and what doesn’t in their writing. But besides knowing what to do, students need to understand that their responsibilities in the revision stage shift as they move from writer to responder.

Show, Don’t Tell

Choose Precise Words

and Concrete Details

Revise the Beginning

of a Narrative

Reorder the Beginning

of a Narrative to Engage

the Reader

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Revision ResponsibilitiesIn the Writers Workshop, student roles regularly change. They are the author in teacher/student conferences, in response groups, with a partner and in the Author’s Chair; they are a responder in response groups, with a partner and as part of the audience for the Author’s Chair. The feedback they receive and the feedback they give become part of the revision process. Each of these roles requires different action. Students need to know their responsibilities for each role so they can perform comfortably and well.

When a Student Writer is the Author

l Self-conference before the response session.

l Read the piece or parts of a piece you have questions about or need the most help with.

l Read clearly, slowly and loudly.

l Listen to the responders’ sugges-tions and comments (even if you don’t follow their advice).

l Look at the responders as they speak.

l Ask questions.

l Leave the response session with specific goals and notes to refer back to while revising.

When the Student Writer is the Responder or the Audience

l Look at the author.

l Listen carefully as the author reads.

l Tell the author something positive about the piece.

l Give the author feedback on your impressions as a reader and regarding his or her fulfillment of the criteria.

l Use phrases like:

“I like the part where you say …”

“Tell me more about …”

“I like the beginning because …”

“I am confused about …”

l Ask questions like:

“Have you considered other ways to begin your piece?”

“Have you considered other ways to end your piece?”

“What do you see as the most important part?”

“What will you do next?”

l Take notes to give the author.

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pieces need time to rest before they are revised, that some pieces are worth spending more time on than others and that time must be allowed to do the actual work of revising. The following tips can help you set up the right kind of environment to encourage planning, drafting, revising, editing and publica-tion. Adopt what you can; adapt what you need to; ask students what tips on the list they might like to see happen, or those that already happen, in your class. Let them be part of creating an environment that will encourage and support revision — indeed, all the steps of the writing process:

l Have students write about topics that have genuine personal mean-ing, topics they have chosen for themselves.

l Ask students to read aloud regu-larly, in addition to sharing stories of importance.

l Give students a chance to write for an audience outside of the school.

l Make sure your classroom environ-ment is full of the tools and sup-plies of the writing trade — paper, pens, scissors, rubber cement, type-writers or computers, dictionaries, thesauruses.

l Display model writings in your classroom, including not only stu-dent work but that of professional authors and teachers as well.

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Creating a Successful Environment for RevisionAs with every aspect of the writing process, success with revision depends largely on creating a safe environment for student experience. Everything, from the way you physically set up your classroom to helping students understand what has meaning for them personally, will play a vital part in your students’ approach to writing in general and rewriting in particular. When the setting is right, it’s easier to teach actual usage and mechanics skills through conferences and mini-lessons, as needed (Zemelman and Daniels, 1988, p. 182).

Zemelman and Daniels suggest creating a positive atmosphere for revision by showing students not only how to revise but also by helping them understand why revision is neces-sary and providing a positive defini-tion of revision. In addition, it’s vital to arrange the “when” needed in the revision process — to understand that

As with every aspect of the

writing process, success with

revision depends largely on

creating a safe environment

for student experience.

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l Sometimes write while the students write, to model that all writers go through the same process.

l Confer often with students about their writing. Create a workshop atmosphere that provides individ-ual attention, however brief.

l For early drafts, focus on content, meaning, support, clarity and detail rather than grading.

l Have students keep revising in mind as they are writing, saving their work in folders so they know they’ll be returning to it after a rest-ing time.

l Encourage communication with others — mutual audiences, editors, helpers, collaborators (Zemelman and Daniels, 1988, p. 171).

As mentioned in the introduction, Graves feels it’s important that the classroom be set up to encourage stu-dent interchange, including peer feed-back and cooperation. Students need to be able to say “Listen to this; tell me what you think of it” (Graves, 1994, p. 229). Graves maintains that many teachers may need to pay more atten-tion to the conditions that foster sound revision, such as understanding the audience. “A sense of audience,” he writes, “is [a] major factor that con-tributes to effective revision. Until children can begin to step outside themselves, take other points of view, and become effective first readers of their texts, they will find revision irrelevant” (Graves, 1994, p. 239).

Listening also is a fundamental part of the revision process: Students must learn to listen to each other, and you must learn to listen to students. In Teaching Writing: A Workshop Approach, Adele Fiderer offers some strategies for effective listening:

Ask: “What would you like help with?”

Listen.

Say: “Tell us what you’re writing about.”

Listen.

Respond to the writer’s stated need.

Ask about something you don’t understand or want to know more about.

Listen.

Say: “Here’s what you told me.” (Repeat the writer’s words.)

Suggest some things the writer might want to try.

Ask: “What will you do next?” (Fiderer, 1993, p. 101).

Another key to leading students toward willingness to share and revise is to help them find writing that has meaning for them. When students have a personal interest in a topic, revision is an easier task; students care more about the piece and are more likely to want to make the meaning clear to the

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Revising Writing

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readers. Although topic selection can happen during the planning stage, the importance of the topic selected will be felt throughout the writing process

and, in particular, during revision, when students must return to their work again and again. (See the mono-graph and mini-lessons on planning for details on generating topics.)

Indeed, writing every day is a crucial element in creating a success-ful environment for revision. When students write during work time in the Writers Workshop, they know that writing is valued because special time is reserved for that work. Daily writing allows students to return to their topic each day, and they assume responsibil-ity for the importance of the finished piece. Graves maintains, “When there are several daylong spaces between one class and the next, children lose touch with their thinking . … They sometimes lose interest and wish to start a new

piece, since that is easier than revising an old one” (Graves, 1994, p. 226). For the writing to stay focused, it needs to be returned to each day; by working with a piece over and over, day after day, students will build a momentum that will guide their work to a satisfac-tory conclusion.

By reinforcing the idea of revi-sion, students will learn that the first draft is not supposed to be the best draft. Students who learn that revi-sion is okay, that first drafts are only the first of many, that change is good, that rethinking is cool, will be better equipped to progress as writers. Carol Avery tells her students, “If you change your mind or decide you want something different in your writing, just line out the part you don’t want and then keep on writing. All writ-ers change their minds. I don’t know of a writer who gets his ideas down just the way he wants them the first time” (Avery, 1993, pp. 184–85). When students willingly get rid of erasers because they no longer feel the need to eliminate evidence of rethinking — when rethinking becomes a goal for students — you’re on the right track toward helping students incorpo-rate the process of revising into their regular writing routine. According to Graves, students must learn to see information as flexible: “The first indi-cation that a child sees the words as temporary or flexible is when she lines out rather than rubs out. The lining out says, ‘I shall return to this matter later

Students who learn that

revision is okay, that first drafts

are only the first of many,

that change is good, that

rethinking is cool, will be better

equipped to progress as writers.

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on. I sense something needs work but I don’t want to lose the flow of ideas’” (Graves, 1994, p. 234). Graves says he models this behavior by demonstrating the temporary nature of words when he writes with students.

Consider reading to students about published authors and their writing process, as well as inviting published authors to the classroom. Published authors can bring samples of vari-ous drafts to show students that even professional writers go through many stages during the writing process, and that each of the stages contains differ-ent steps and can be approached with different strategies. You might even want to have a bulletin board or a spe-cific area of your classroom designated for information about books and their authors, a place for students to explore how others write and revise. Students then know that they aren’t alone in this process, that everyone — from their teacher to professional authors who have books in their library — goes through a similar routine to write well.

When Not to Revise, When to ReviseNot every piece of writing should be revised — not an easy concept to master for students who have been diligently practicing revision. Students may want to begin by revising one of every five pieces they start, and students, not teachers, should pick the pieces they want to polish. After students learn to distinguish between what should and shouldn’t be revised, you can ask for as many as 10 pol-ished and published pieces during the school year, depending on the class, the age and the time you have with your students. Whether it’s one or 10, you should allow students to choose the pieces they will revise and pub-lish, pieces that hold the most inter-est for them. If students retain some ownership over their work and the right to make revision choices, they will be more likely to revise better and smarter.

Sometimes, students may be having problems with revision for a number of reasons. Graves lists the following:

l lack of knowledge about the subject;

l lack of understanding about the uniqueness of writing;

l lack of audience sense;

l motor problems;

l lack of time to write;

l writing too much; and

l unfamiliarity with the genre.

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He suggests that if you find a student confronting any combination of these problems, revision may not be appropriate at the moment. He advises that “what is paramount are the child’s interest in and information about the topic” (Graves, 1994, pp. 236–37). A return to the planning stage can happen any time. Students need to know that such a move is okay, even expected.

Graves also maintains that if it becomes necessary for a student to abandon a piece of writing for any reason, you need to be accepting of such a decision. In addition, you may be able to demonstrate in your own writing when you’ve made a poor choice; explain why it was a poor choice; and model how you then put the piece in a folder, maybe to never revisit it. And yet, you can still con-sider your time with that piece of writing a learning experience (Graves, 1994, p. 238).

A Final NoteRevising provides an opportunity for writers of any age to look again at their options and to make or rethink choices based on original goals and intentions. Students need to remember that the most important element to focus on is intention, rather than mechanics. Revising is all about taking the time to see if the writing meets its original intention. And if the writing is far off the mark, then the writer can decide whether to revise. In revising, the goal is to demonstrate “not so much how to revise as a certain stance toward the world, a sense of our intentions, and how we listen to ourselves when we write” (Graves, 1994, p. 239).

Revision is a vital part of the writ-ing process, and it helps a writer develop important reading skills as well. Revision will become a success-ful step in the writing process for your students when they are comfortable with the environment in which they write, comfortable with the people who surround them, comfortable with the idea that revision doesn’t mean a piece is bad — only that a change is needed. To create a classroom of writ-ers who value revision is to create a classroom of writers who grow, and grow willingly.

Routines, Rituals and Artifacts

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References

Avery, C. (1993). ...And with a Light Touch: Learning about Reading, Writing, and Teaching with First Graders. Portsmouth, N.H.: Heinemann.

Calkins, L. (1994). The Art of Teaching Writing. Portsmouth, N.H.: Heinemann

Elbow, P. (1981). Writing with Power: Techniques for Mastering the Writing Process. New York: Oxford University Press.

Fiderer, A. (1993). Teaching Writing: A Workshop Approach. New York: Scholastic.

Fletcher, R. and J. Portalupi. (1998). Craft Lessons: Teaching Writing K–8. York, Me.: Stenhouse Publishers.

Graves, D. (1994). A Fresh Look at Writing. Portsmouth, N.H.: Heinemann.

Graves, D. (1983). Writing: Teachers & Children at Work. Portsmouth, N.H.: Heinemann.

Murray, D. (1996). Crafting a Life in Essay, Story, Poem. Portsmouth, N.H.: Boynton/Cook.

Murray, D. (1996). Write to Learn. Fort Worth, Tex.: Harcourt Brace.

Routman, R. (1991). Invitations:

Changing as Teachers and Learners K–12. Portsmouth, N.H.: Heinemann.

Willis, M. S. (1993). Deep Revision: A Guide for Teachers, Students, and Other Writers. New York: Teachers & Writers Collaborative.

Zemelman, S. and H. Daniels. (1988). A Community of Writers: Teaching Writing in the Junior and Senior High School. Portsmouth, N.H.: Heinemann.

Ziegler, A. (1981). The Writing Workshop: Volume I. New York: Teachers & Writers.

In This Series

Rituals, Routines and Artifacts: Classroom Management and the Writers Workshop

Mini-Lessons for the Writers Workshop

Planning: A Rehearsal for Writing

Drafting: Getting Words on Paper

Response Groups: Providing Feedback to Writers

Writing Conferences

Revising Writing

Editing for Clarity and Conventions

Author’s Chair: Bringing Closure to the Writers Workshop

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