Madam Principal, esteemed teachers, faculty and friends, the first thing I would like to say is ‘Thank you’. Not only have you given me a great honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I have endured at the thought of giving this address, have made me lose weight. A win-win situation, you see!

Dear class of 2017, I am so proud of you. Thank you for asking me to speak to you today. I had a wonderful time trying to imagine who had been ahead of me on the list and had said no; I was positive you'd have to have gone to my dear friend, Zeba Samiha first. And I meant to call her to see what she would have said, but I forgot. Nonetheless, I will try to be at least as helpful, if not quite as charismatic.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I asked myself what I wish I had known during my final year at school, on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’.

I came to the conclusion that a raw, true, unpolished picture of what lies ahead would have been very nice, even more so for us because it’s an all-girls college. It has been women for women, and women against women, for most of our lives. What happens when men come into the equations and the gender equality or unequality comes into play. On this crucial day, I would like to address exactly that.

Now beware! Because my desire is to present a true-to-life picture, it might at times, seem unfair and hopeless, but I would like to make it very clear in parenthesis, that life, in all its infinite variety, is truly a wonderful gift.

Two years ago, sitting exactly where your are today with our whole life ahead of us, it never once occurred to any of us that the sexism that we have hitherto only heard or read about, was so ‘real’ outside the gates of college, sometimes especially in those who are closest and dearest to us. It never once occurred to us that even today, a hundred years after women got their voting rights, we might still not be seen as important men, but as, say, First Ladies, in the lives of important men, even by those who had always encouraged us to pursue excellence.

During those days, a snippy article in ‘The Daily Star’ compared the 21st century or modern Bangladeshi women to a kind of tunicata, a breed of small fish. Why so? As it was, this particular branch of small fish spend the first part of their lives frantically swimming around the ocean floor exploring their environment, and the second part of their lives just lying

there breeding. Yes, it was a horrible thing to say, but what was more terrifying is that it had truth in it. It must have, since ………

Now, why am I telling you these? Surely, these are characteristics of bygone days, aren’t they? No, my dears, it isn’t. Don't underestimate how much antagonism there is toward women and how many people wish they could turn the clock back.

A few months ago, our class had a reunion, when a friend pointed out that "Our education was a dress rehearsal for a life we were never supposed to lead." Isn't that the saddest line? We weren't meant to have futures, we were meant to marry them. We weren't' meant to have politics, or careers that mattered, or opinions, or lives; we were meant to marry them. If you wanted to be an architect, you married an architect. Non MinistraresedMinistrari—you know the old joke, not to be ministers but to be ministers' wives.

A few months into real life, one time or the other, you’ll sigh “The college days were the best of days”, because as soon as college days are over, we are meant to choose, between family and career. In the beginning, the idea was that men were to have careers, while women, families. Then the idea changed to 'women could have a career OR a family'. But even today, it never once occurred to anyone, that we can have it both. A few months after college, you'll be put at crosswords, you'll be asked often, again and again, this one question: If you pursue your career, when will you have a family? As if these are mutually exclusive by default. You'll be stifled from imagining immensities; you'll be taught that it's only prudent to compromise,that you cannot be the family's bread-winner and have a happy husbands, that you cannot be fiercely focused on your career and still rear your children into good humans. All this time, it will never once occur to them, and very soon, it will never once occur to you, that there's no reason, why you can't have it all. A few months into real life you'll be at crosswords, and then even you don't remember a single word I say, I hope you'll pay heed to those of Yogi Berra, the former New York Yankee who made a specialty of saying things that were famously maladroit: "When you see a fork in the road take it." Yes. When you face that fork, take the whom damn thing, the entire package. Two paths diverge in a wood, and you get to take them both. It's one of the

nicest things about being women; we can do that; we can have them both. Did I say it was hard? Let me say it again so that none of you can ever say the words, nobody said it was so hard. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don't be frightened: you can always change your mind.

Above all, be the center of your life.