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Help! Does my partner love me? Gender differences in

attitudes towards romantic and sexual relationships.

Word count: 1,970

Over the years, scientists suggest that gender dissimilarities have evolved to ensure an

increased probability of offspring survival. Evolutionary psychologists propose that men

prefer physically attractive mates, whereas, women prefer mates that have sufficient

resources. The aim of this research is to investigate the differences in male and female

attitudes towards romantic and sexual relationships. 31 male and female participants were

asked to complete a Likert scale questionnaire and their responses compared using an

independent groups design. Findings suggest there is a significantly large gender difference

in the perceptions of sexuality: females were more positive concerning romantic relationships

than men. In the case of partner provisions and physical attraction, the difference was not

significant in line with the parental investment theory. Additionally, findings show that men

had more conventional view towards females having multiple sexual relationships. Therefore,

we can conclude that differences do occur but not explicitly due to gender.

Introduction

Is it about love? Is it about physical attraction? Or is it about sex? Trivers (1972) proposed

the parental investment theory to explain the essence of intimate relationships: women seek

physically attractive women perceived to be “more fertile” to spread his genes, whereas,

women wanted men that have sufficient resources to invest in her offspring.

Previous research has provided empirical evidence that indicates that men prefer physical

appearance, whereas, women chose mate based on their financial status (Castro and Lopes

2011). This is further supported by Herz & Inzlicht (2002) who using self-report methods

found that women gave higher ratings to resources than men who ranked physical appearance

higher. On the other hand, recent study by Castro, Hattori and Lopes (2012) indicated that

male preferences in mate selection fits with Trivers’s theory, whereas, females did not.

However, these studies cannot be generalised due to cultural differences. Buss (1989) tested

human differences in mate selection across 37 various cultures and findings reflect

evolutionary views on sexuality. Research disagrees with the female preferences: in the long

term, female who married for love had happier and stable marriages (Xu and Whyte, 1990).

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Therefore, do men care more about sexual desires and females care about love? But Regan

(1998) found that partners with high sexual desire were more satisfied, committed and in-love

than the partner that lacked the sexual yearnings. This provides the idea that sex has a

significant role in romantic relationships. So, do male and female views also vary in sexual

relationships?

Furthermore, the evolutionary explanation may have paved a way for “double standard”: a

greater sexual liberty to men than women. A very recent study found that men had more

traditional views about double standard whereas women believed it should be equally treated

for both genders (Allison and Risman, 2013). Research also showed that women were more

accepting to a man having had many sexual partners than men (Milhausen & Herold, 1999).

In contrast, research found that double standard only emerges in group situations (Marks &

Fraley, 2007). This suggests differences in male and female perspectives are not entirely due

to gender, might be influenced by other factors such as society.

Previous research have measured the gender differences which exists in romantic and sexual

relationships, however, their research was based on outdated concepts and some lacked

generalizability by ignoring individual differences. This research would focus on the views of

the younger generation, and, aim to examine if there has been a change in the gender

differences on attitudes towards romantic and sexual relationships while considering societal

influence. Do women have a more positive attitude towards intimate relations than men? Are

there any gender differences in the way double standard is perceived? Is the evolutionary

perspective a valid explanation for romantic and sexual relationships?

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Method

Participants:

This study consisted of 31 participants (14 Female and 17 Male). Data was collected from

University of Portsmouth undergraduates and the general public in areas of London and

Bristol using an opportunity sampling method. The participants used were between 19 and 26

years if age. The mean and standard deviation of the male participants’ age were 21.2 years

and 1.75 respectively. While, the mean age of the female participants was 20.4 years and

standard deviation was 1.81.

Design

The study used an independent groups design to investigate the difference between male and

female perspectives of romantic and sexual relationships which was measured using a Likert

scale. The independent variable was the participants’ gender, while the dependent variable

was their totals i.e. how positive their perspective of romantic and relationships are.

Materials

Participants were provided with a consent form (appendix 1a) that provided information

about the anonymity of their data and their right to withdraw from the study to prevent ethical

issues. The questionnaire (appendix 1b) comprised of 22 questions that asked the participants

to rate each statement on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being strongly disagree and 5 being strongly

agree); the statements were based on their personal beliefs towards romantic and sexual

relationships. They were asked to be as honest as possible to ensure the data collected is

reliable and valid. Scores ranged from 22 to 110 where a high score would indicate a positive

attitude towards romantic and sexual relationship. An example of questions used:

1. I believe in love at first sight

(As illustrated in Appendix 1b)

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To avoid response bias, various positive and negative statements were utilised e.g. I get bored

easily in romantic relationships/ I rely on a being in a relationship to make me happy.

Cronbach’s Alpha was calculated on each question scores, giving a value of 0.876. A

debriefing form (appendix 1c) was provided to each participant at the end of the study.

Procedure

To construct the questionnaire, research into the subject of romantic and sexual relationships

were carried out. Previous literature were reviewed to see the questions other researchers

used and ensure the questions generated were not gender specific or invalid.

Opportunity sample was the method used to acquire participants. Participants were asked to

complete the consent form. After giving their consent, they were given the questionnaire to

complete in a non-busy and quiet environment with no time limit, in the absence of the

experimenter to avoid experimenter bias or socially desirable answers. Participants were

given a number to allow obscurity; the only personal data provided to the experimenter was

the age and gender of the participant. When the questionnaires were complete, any questions

asked were answered, issues resolved and participants were debriefed. Data was collected,

response to negative questions were reversed i.e. if participants strongly agreed scoring 5; it

would be recorded as 1.

Results

Reliability

The Cronbach’s α-values of original questionnaire (N = 29) was 0.762 (item total statistics in

appendix 2a). The questionnaire was found to be highly reliable after revising the

questionnaire (item total statistics in appendix 2b) and deleting some items (N = 22, α =

0.876).

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Validity

Who is more positive about intimate relationship, men or women?

An independent-samples t-test was carried out to compare the gender differences in the

attitudes towards romantic and sexual relationships. Findings show that there was a

difference in the mean scores between Females (M=78.79, SD=11.99) and Males (M=67.82,

SD=12.90). Furthermore, an independent t-test showed this difference was statistically

significant; (t (29) = 2.249, p = 0.022 (2-tailed)). The magnitude of the difference in the

means (mean difference = 10.97, 95% CI: 1.73 to 20.19) was large (d = 0.88). This suggests

that, in intimate relationships, females generally have more positive attitudes than males.

Hence, we can accept the experimental hypothesis.

Figure1: Mean attitude score towards romantic relationship for male (n=17) and females (n=14).

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What perspective do males and females have about double standard?

Findings show that there was a difference in the mean scores between males and females with regards to their views on double standard. When the responses in question 7 were compared, more males (M = 3.18, SD = 1.63) agreed to the concept of double standards than females (M = 1.29, SD = 0.61) who disagreed. The difference between the two groups were also found to be statistically significant (t (21.175) = 4.222, p <0.001) and large (Cohen’s d = 1.54). Therefore suggesting that men had a more traditional outlook about double standard.

Physical attractiveness or materialism? Is it about what they can provide?

As table I shows, based on the questions: “I would be okay with marrying someone based

on what they can provide, rather than because I love them” and “Materialistic factors are

important to me in a romantic relationship”, there was no significant difference in the mean

responses.

Table 1

Differences between male and female perception of materialism in romantic and sexual

relationships.

Female (N =14) Male ( N = 17)

Mean SD Mean SD

QUESTION 14 4.36 0.93 4.00 1.12

QUESTION 26 4.00 1.11 3.94 1.09

In the case of physicality, findings illustrate that there was a difference in the mean responses

between males and females. When the responses were compared, the difference was not

significant (t (-0.867) = 0.393, p<0.05): Males (M = 16.53, SD = 3.06) and Females (M =

17.57, SD = 3.63).

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DiscussionThe Cronbach’s alpha value show that the questionnaire constructed to test attitudes of males

and females towards intimacy has internal consistency.

Findings in this study indicate that both male and female have varied attitudes towards

romantic and sexual relationship. The data calculated suggests that in sexuality, women hold

more positive views: they consider love to be an important factor. This supports previous

research that showed that women who married for love had happier and stable marriages (Xu

et al, 1990). The results also show that both men and women were interested in what their

partners would provide, and the difference perceived was not significant. Hence contrasting

research that suggested that men considered physical attributes as the most important factor

during mate selection (Castro et al, 2011; Herz et al, 2002).

When measuring the importance of physical characteristics on romantic and sexual

relationship, the scale used, if a participant responded, “Neither agree nor disagree” with each

item, they would have a score of 18. Findings show that both men and women were not

interested in the appearance of their mate in both sexual and romantic relationships. This

disputes the Parental Investment theory proposed by Trivers (1972). Hereby suggesting that

there are other factors that affect the opinions of each gender when it comes to making

decisions that relate to love or sex. However, this might not be entirely true as the parental

investment theory only apply to relationships with offspring which the participants used do

not represent.

Furthermore, Allison and Risman (2013) found that men held more old fashioned views

about “double standard”. This study provides further evidence that describe women to be

more egalitarians than men towards the idea of double standards. But, are men just really

biased towards the opposite sex? Well, this finding could be explained by the fact that

throughout the years, the society has engrossed our minds with the idea that males and

females are not equal. Moreover, this difference could also be due to the effect of the “need

to appeal to peers”. Mark and Fraley (2007) established that double standards only occurred

in group conditions. This highlights the impact of external factors on the opinions individuals

possess.

This study can be criticised for making assumptions: the experimenter supposed that the

participants all shared the same situation i.e. they were all single or in a relationship.

Therefore, the responses given by individuals in a relationship would differ from the

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responses of the “singletons”. Therefore, the researcher would be criticised for making a

fundamental attribution error as they underestimated the effects of the situation of the

participants. However, this research has shown that views of the gender has changed over the

years and become more susceptible to the current situation-participants sampled cared more

about what their partners could provide more than their physicality due to the importance of

“wealth” portrayed by the media.

As there is no argument with the fact that there are gender differences in individuals ranging

from their physical anatomy to their opinions. Therefore, future research should investigate

the effect of religion on the attitudes towards sexual and romantic relationships of both males

and females. As there are many religious beliefs that have been placed in an individual’s life,

how significant is the effect of religion on attitudes towards intimate relationship?

To conclude, this research has identified that there is a significant difference between the

perspective of men and women towards sexual and romantic relationships. However, in

contrast to previous studies, it shows that the difference in views on what the partner should

provide in an intimate relationship is not statistically significant. Additionally, further

research should consider the influence of other factors.

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References

1 Allison, R., & Risman, B. J. (2013). A double standard for “Hooking Up”: How far

have we come toward gender equality? Social Science Research, 42(5), 1191-1206.

2 Buss, D.M. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences: Evolutionary

hypothesis tested in 37 cultures. Behavioural and Brain Sciences, Vol 12 pp 1-49.

3 Castro, F. N. & Lopes, F. (2011). Romantic Preferences in Brazilian Undergraduate

Students: From the Short term to the Long term. Journal of Sex Research, Vol 48 (5)

pp 479-485.

4 Castro, F. N., Hattori, W.T. & Lopes, F. (2012). Relationship maintenance or

preference Satisfaction? Male and Female Strategies in romantic partner choice.

Journal of Social, Evolutionary and Cultural Psychology, Vol 6(2) pp 217-226.

5 Herz, R.S. & Inzlicht, M. (2002). Sex differences in response to physical and social

factors involved in human mate selection, Evolution & Human Behaviour, Vol 23,

359-364.

6 Marks, M., & Chris Fraley, R. (2007). The impact of social interaction on the sexual

double standard. Social Influence, 2(1), 29-54.

7 Milhausen, R., & Herold, E. (1999). Does the sexual double standard still exist?

Perceptions of university women. Journal of Sex Research, 36(4), 361-368.

8 Regan, P. C., Lakhanpal, S. & Anguiano, C. (2012). The Relationship outcomes in

Indian-American love based and arranged marriages. Psychological Reports, Vol

110(3) pp 915-924.

9 Trivers, R. L. (1972). Parental Investment and Sexual Selection. Illinois: Aldine

Publishing Company.

10 Xu, X. & Whyte, M.K. (1990). Love matches and arranged marriages: A Chinese

Replication. Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol 50(3) pp 702-722.

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AppendicesAppendix 1a

CONSENT FORM

Dear Participant

Thank you for agreeing to take part in our study. You are going to be asked a number of questioned based on personal opinions and attitudes towards romantic and sexual relationships. You need to answer these as honestly as possible, and there are no right or wrong answers.

All results will be completely anonymous and all data will be kept confidential and will be used for the purpose of this study only. Filling in the questionnaire should only take approximately 15 minutes: however, you can complete it in your own time. If you have any questions please feel free to ask the experimenter. Please note that if you feel uncomfortable with any of the questions you do not have to answer them. You have the right to withdraw your data at any time if you no longer wish to take part in the study, although your results would be extremely useful to us. Your participant number is ___. Please quote this number if you contact the experimenter regarding your specific questionnaire.

Please sign below if you are happy to take part in this study

Signed: _________________

Date: _______________

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Appendix 1b

Participant Number: _____ Gender: _____________ Age: ______

You will now need to fill out a questionnaire on your attitudes towards romantic and sexual relationships. Please indicate how strongly you agree with the following statements by choosing and circling an option from 1-5 (1 being strongly disagree and 5 being strongly agree with the statement). Please feel free to ask the experimenter any questions if you do not understand. 

1. I believe in love at first sight

2. It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

3. I would consider physical appearance to be more important when seeking a romantic relationship compared to a casual relationship

4. I don't have to be physically attracted to someone to be in love with them

5. I look for a certain physical appearance when seeking a romantic relationship

6. I get bored easily in romantic relationships

7. I feel that it is more acceptable for a male to sleep with a number of casual partners compared to a female doing the same

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8. I would like to be in a romantic relationship

9. I would be sceptical about developing a romantic relationship with someone if I found out they had a more extensive sexual history than my own

10. I feel somewhat embarrassed when talking about my sexual history

11. I would feel more comfortable experimenting with sex when in a romantic relationship, compared to having sex with casual partners

12. In a romantic relationship, it is absolutely necessary for me to be physically attracted to my partner

13. Love is very important in a romantic relationship

14. I would be okay with marrying someone based on what they can provide, rather than because I love them

15. I prefer a long lasting, romantic relationship over a having a number of casual partners

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16. I would be open to trying a long distance relationship

17. I would feel comfortable being in a polygamous or 'open' relationship

18. I would feel highly disappointed if I were in a romantic relationship where there was little sex

19. I do or previously have felt jealous of someone else's relationship

20. I feel sexual intercourse with a romantic partner is much more fulfilling and exciting than casual sex

21. I have to feel a strong attraction to somebody in order to have sex with them

22. I don't have to have sex to be in love with someone

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23. A relationship without physical intimacy and sex wouldn't work

24. I feel happier when in a stable, romantic relationship, compared to having a number of casual partners

25. I rely on a being in a relationship to make me happy

26. Materialistic factors are important to me in a romantic relationship

27. I would do anything for the person that I love

28. I would have to be physically attracted to someone in order to have casual sex with them

29. I would feel happy if someone said that they wanted to have casual sex with me

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Appendix 1c

DEBRIEF

Thank you for taking part in our study. The aim of the study was to see if the attitudes of romantic relationships differ between men and women. If you have any questions or have been affected by any of the questions you came across in this questionnaire then please do not hesitate to ask the experimenters, or alternatively feel free to contact us at UP686679@myport.ac.uk. If you are not happy with any of the answers then you can still withdraw at any time and your scores will not be used.

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Appendix 2a

Group Statistics

Gender N Mean Std. Deviation Std. Error Mean

Version_2 Male 17 67.8235 12.90463 3.12983

Female 14 78.7857 11.99473 3.20573

Independent Samples Test

Levene's Test for Equality of Variances

F Sig.

Version_2 Equal variances assumed .215 .647

Equal variances not assumed

t-test for Equality of Means

t df Sig. (2-tailed) Mean Difference

-2.429 29 .022 -10.96218

-2.447 28.532 .021 -10.96218

Std. Error

Difference

4.51309

4.48024

95% Confidence Interval of the Difference

Lower Upper

-20.19249 -1.73188

-20.13184 -1.79253

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Appendix 2b

Item-Total Statistics

Scale Mean if

Item Deleted

Scale Variance if

Item Deleted

Corrected Item-

Total Correlation

Cronbach's Alpha

if Item Deleted

Q4 70.6774 172.892 .250 .877

Q6 69.1613 158.673 .684 .863

Q8 68.7097 161.280 .700 .864

Q11 68.9032 153.490 .773 .859

Q12 70.8387 174.873 .296 .875

Q13 68.5484 165.656 .681 .866

Q14 68.6129 170.645 .377 .873

Q15 68.7742 159.047 .739 .862

Q16 69.9677 161.499 .529 .869

Q17 68.5806 163.252 .636 .866

Q18 70.8710 175.849 .230 .877

Q19 69.8710 172.116 .203 .881

Q20 68.6774 159.692 .801 .861

Q21 69.7419 169.598 .330 .875

Q22 69.1290 170.249 .271 .878

Q23 70.6452 164.903 .466 .871

Q24 68.9677 159.032 .752 .862

Q25 70.6129 176.712 .126 .881

Q26 68.8065 171.295 .335 .875

Q27 68.7097 174.746 .285 .875

Q28 69.4194 167.918 .416 .872

Q29 70.0323 164.632 .440 .872

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Appendix 4

question 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

AGE 20 19 19 19 19 20 19 21 21 20

GENDER female female female male female male female male female male

1 3 2 1 2 1 1 3 1 3 2

2 4 2 3 3 1 3 3 3 4 5

3 2 1 3 3 4 2 4 4 1 3

4 2 1 3 4 2 2 2 1 1 2

5 4 4 3 2 4 5 4 2 4 3

6 5 3 5 4 3 4 5 3 4 3

7 1 1 1 1 1 4 3 1 2 1

8 5 3 5 5 1 4 4 5 5 4

9 4 2 2 3 2 2 4 3 3 4

10 5 5 2 1 3 5 2 5 2 5

11 5 2 5 5 3 3 5 3 5 5

12 2 1 3 3 2 2 2 1 1 3

13 5 3 5 5 3 3 4 5 5 5

14 5 5 4 3 2 5 4 5 5 5

15 4 4 5 5 3 4 5 4 5 4

16 5 2 5 2 3 4 5 5 3 3

17 4 4 4 4 3 5 5 5 5 5

18 1 2 3 3 3 1 1 1 2 2

19 5 4 4 1 3 3 2 4 5 4

20 4 3 5 5 3 4 5 5 5 5

21 2 1 4 5 3 1 2 4 2 4

22 4 4 5 5 3 4 4 1 5 5

23 1 1 4 4 3 2 3 1 1 2

24 5 3 5 5 3 4 4 5 2 3

25 4 1 1 3 3 1 2 1 4 1

26 5 4 5 4 3 5 4 5 2 4

27 5 4 3 4 3 4 4 5 3 4

28 2 4 5 3 3 2 3 5 5 4

29 3 2 5 5 3 2 2 5 3 3

question 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

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AGE 20 19 19 19 19 20 19 21 21 20

GENDER female female female male female male female male female male

1 3 2 1 2 1 1 3 1 3 2

2 4 2 3 3 1 3 3 3 4 5

3 2 1 3 3 4 2 4 4 1 3

4 2 1 3 4 2 2 2 1 1 2

5 4 4 3 2 4 5 4 2 4 3

6 5 3 5 4 3 4 5 3 4 3

7 1 1 1 1 1 4 3 1 2 1

8 5 3 5 5 1 4 4 5 5 4

9 4 2 2 3 2 2 4 3 3 4

10 5 5 2 1 3 5 2 5 2 5

11 5 2 5 5 3 3 5 3 5 5

12 2 1 3 3 2 2 2 1 1 3

13 5 3 5 5 3 3 4 5 5 5

14 5 5 4 3 2 5 4 5 5 5

15 4 4 5 5 3 4 5 4 5 4

16 5 2 5 2 3 4 5 5 3 3

17 4 4 4 4 3 5 5 5 5 5

18 1 2 3 3 3 1 1 1 2 2

19 5 4 4 1 3 3 2 4 5 4

20 4 3 5 5 3 4 5 5 5 5

21 2 1 4 5 3 1 2 4 2 4

22 4 4 5 5 3 4 4 1 5 5

23 1 1 4 4 3 2 3 1 1 2

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24 5 3 5 5 3 4 4 5 2 3

25 4 1 1 3 3 1 2 1 4 1

26 5 4 5 4 3 5 4 5 2 4

27 5 4 3 4 3 4 4 5 3 4

28 2 4 5 3 3 2 3 5 5 4

29 3 2 5 5 3 2 2 5 3 3

11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

21 20 20 21 20 21 22 19 20 22 22 21

female male female female male female male female female male male male

5 2 5 5 3 2 3 1 1 5 3 1

5 4 3 4 3 3 5 1 4 5 5 5

4 2 4 4 4 1 3 1 3 3 4 3

2 1 3 3 1 5 5 1 3 3 1 2

4 4 5 5 3 5 4 4 4 4 4 4

5 2 3 5 4 3 5 3 5 1 3 3

1 4 1 1 2 1 5 1 1 5 5 2

5 2 4 5 5 5 5 5 5 2 5 3

3 5 5 3 4 2 1 5 3 5 3 3

5 5 2 4 4 5 5 5 3 5 5 5

5 1 2 5 2 5 5 5 5 1 3 2

2 1 4 2 2 4 2 1 2 2 2 1

5 4 3 4 4 5 5 5 5 4 4 2

5 4 3 5 5 5 5 5 5 3 3 5

5 2 2 5 4 5 4 5 5 1 5 1

5 1 2 4 3 5 2 4 2 1 3 2

4 1 2 5 4 5 5 5 5 3 4 3

3 1 2 3 2 1 1 1 2 1 2 1

5 4 2 4 5 3 5 4 4 2 2 1

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5 2 2 5 4 5 5 5 5 3 2 4

4 2 3 4 2 4 3 5 5 1 4 2

4 3 3 4 5 4 5 1 5 5 1 2

4 1 1 4 2 5 1 1 1 1 1 1

5 2 2 5 3 5 5 5 5 3 3 2

3 1 2 4 2 1 2 1 1 1 4 2

3 3 4 2 4 5 5 5 4 3 3 3

4 3 3 5 4 5 5 2 4 5 4 3

4 2 2 4 2 4 3 3 3 1 4 4

3 1 2 3 1 4 2 5 1 1 1 4

23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Version 1 Versio

n 2

21 26 26 21 24 19 20 20 22

male Male Female Male Male Male Male Female Male

2 2 2 4 2 3 3 3 2 106 83

5 5 5 3 4 4 4 4 3 78 61

3 2 2 4 3 3 4 2 4 108 93

1 3 1 3 1 1 2 2 1 102 87

5 3 1 4 4 2 4 4 2 77 61

2 5 5 1 2 3 3 5 5 91 69

4 1 2 3 5 5 4 1 2 100 77

3 3 4 4 4 3 4 4 5 98 79

5 5 4 3 4 2 2 4 3 97 78

4 4 2 2 4 2 2 4 5 103 80

4 5 5 3 3 5 5 5 3 117 90

1 1 2 2 1 2 2 2 2 70 44

4 5 5 3 4 3 5 4 5 81 56

2 5 4 2 5 4 3 4 4 116 90

4 4 5 4 3 4 4 4 5 93 70

1 2 2 1 2 3 2 2 1 112 93

2 5 5 4 5 5 5 4 5 111 85

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2 1 3 1 4 2 2 3 2 95 77

2 2 1 2 1 1 3 1 1 101 82

4 4 5 2 4 4 4 4 5 80 48

4 3 2 4 4 1 4 2 3 93 64

4 2 4 1 2 5 4 5 4 76 53

2 1 2 1 2 4 4 2 3 86 58

3 3 5 3 4 3 3 5 5 93 71

2 1 4 3 1 2 2 3 4 102 84

2 5 5 2 5 5 5 5 4 77 54

4 5 5 3 4 5 5 4 5 93 67

4 3 5 2 4 1 5 4 4 88 67

1 3 5 3 2 1 2 4 3 101 78