release
DESCRIPTION
A play in 1 act by Lewis GreenTRANSCRIPT
SETTING: We are in a living room.
AT RISE: Afternoon. A MAN and a WOMAN sit on a couch. The man holds a gun.
(NOTE: If it works, there is intended to be good bit of overlapping and finishing of each others sentences. Also, both characters may at times speak simultaneously when one speech ends with a word that also begins the other character's next speech.)
MANKill me.
WOMANNo.
MAN(offers her the gun)
Please.
WOMANNo!
MANJust kill me!
WOMANNo ... I can't do that.
MANSure you can.
WOMANNo. I can't.
MANNo, I can't. You can ... You can!
(long pause)
WOMANWhy?
MANI can't tell you.
WOMANYou can't tell me?
MANI can. I don't want to. Please don't make me.
WOMANIt can't be that bad.
MANBad? Yes it is. It ... is.
WOMANI don't understand.
MANI don't want to be locked up.
WOMANLocked up?
MANI can't do that.
WOMANIncarcerated?
MANI can't be caged.
WOMANCan you start at the beginning?
MANNo. That's the problem.
WOMANIf I had the whole picture, maybe I could -- help.
MANHelp? Yes. You can help.
(offers her the gun)Here.
WOMANNo.
MANTake this.
WOMANI said no.
2.
MANPlease ... I'm ...
(falls to his knees in front of her)
I'm ... begging.
WOMANBegging? Don't beg.
(The MAN kneels there.)
WOMAN (contíd)Anything else. I would do anything else for you. Maybe I --
MANI can not be caged!
(The MAN offers her the gun again. She turns away.)
Look at me.(no response)
Look at me!(She does.)
I can't. I just ... can't.(sets the gun down on the couch between them)
I'm tired. I'm so tired. I'm exhausted! I'm too tired to sleep. Too tired to lie still. Too tired to ...
(Eventually, the WOMAN reaches out and almost touches him. Pause. The phone rings. Startling. The WOMAN looks to the MAN. The phone continues to ring. Finally she crosses the room and reaches for the phone.)
MAN (contíd)No!
(She freezes.)Don't. It's them.
(The phone continues ringing.)
WOMANWho?
MANThey know.
WOMANAre you -- sure?
MANSure? Yes. They know I'm here.
3.
WOMANBut --
MANYou're my friend. You're all I've got. They know. They ... know.
(The phone stops ringing. Long pause.)
WOMANAll you've got?
MANYes.
WOMANI'm all --
MANYou heard me.
WOMANWhat about your -- family?
MANFamily?
(He makes a gesture of futility.)
WOMANSurely they ...
MANDead. Distant. Don't care.
(pause)
WOMANI'm all you've got.
(The MAN nods. The woman goes to him. Starts to embrace him. Wants to, but can't.)
WOMAN (contíd)I could be there after -- you know -- when --
MANNo!
WOMANI could.
MANIt could be years. It could be ten years.
4.
WOMANTen years?
MANYes. It could be.
WOMANTen years. Have you ... done something ... wrong?
MANWrong?
(pause)Yes. Yes, I've done something wrong.
(pause)In retrospect, quite a few things. It's almost funny. Irony is entertaining except when it's your own. I find myself thinking about the past a lot. That's not ... good.
WOMANGood. No. It's not.
(pause)But in the future --
MANOh, not that again.
WOMANListen. I could ... would ... be there.
MANBut I wouldn't. Would I? I'd be different. After all those years. A lot different. I'd be worse. Worse than now. Or sick. Sicker. A lot sicker. I don't want to do this. I won't.
WOMANPerhaps, in the end, you wouldn't even have to.
MANI could get lucky?
WOMANIt's happens all the time.
MANBut, the ordeal. It's guilty til proven innocent. In real life. Guilty as born. You know that.
WOMANDid you hurt --
MANNo! Well, maybe. A little. In some way. Everything has consequences ...
WOMANI don't understand.
5.
MANIt wasn't even my idea.
WOMANYou could tell them.
MANThey won't care! They don't care! They have rules.
WOMANThere have to be some, don't you think?
MANDo there? Do there have to be?!
WOMANYou have to put up a ... fight.
MANFight? Me? I can't. I won't give up control of my body. Not ... not while I'm ... alive. They can have my corpse. Yeah, they can have fun with that. I always think about torture victims. People who are taken and unspeakable things are done to them. God, I'd rather kill myself, first. Not just to avoid going through it -- though I am afraid, I admit it -- but to deny those bastards the satisfaction! Of thinking they can get away with doing that to someone!
WOMANYou could get a lawyer and --
MANI can't afford a lawyer! Or bail!
WOMANBut your -- money.
MANMoney? Gone!
WOMANGone?
MANYes! All of it. All ... gone. I ... I made mistakes ... You see? I've tried so hard. I had so much potential. But ...
WOMANThings just haven't worked out.
MANI'm sick. Sick of all of it. Sick of trying. Sick of being alone. Alone together. Alone alone.
WOMANMaybe someday, we could be -- together.
6.
MANTogether?
WOMANWe could have.
MANWe should have.
WOMANIf only we'd --
MANMet sooner.
WOMANBefore ... You know ...
MANIt's the timing. It's all the bloody timing!
7.
WOMANThe timing was wrong.
MANWrong. All wrong. Oh, God! If I could go back ...
(Words momentarily fail him.)Oh, Jesus! What I could have ... The life I could have ... If only I could have known! Known then what I know ... now.
WOMANNow.
MANI give up.
WOMANDon't.
MANPlease take the gun.
WOMANNo.
MANJust take it.
WOMANI don't want to.
MANI know. Just take it. You don't have to do anything.
WOMANI'm not going to.
MAN(holds the gun out to her)
Okay, then.
WOMANWhat makes you even think ...
MANWe promised. Each other. You must remember -- it was serious; we weren't just kidding around -- when we promised --
WOMANOh that.
MANIt was a promise. That only friends would make. Serious friends.
WOMANThat was different. Very -- different.
8.
MANDifferent? Not true. We promised. We would kill the other if ever they were in an accident.
WOMANAnd were paralysed. Some horrible existence like that. In a coma.
MANI'm in a coma. You have no idea how much effort ... I told you I'm sick. Sick of it all. I'm sick of the bags. Especially the bags.
WOMANThe bags?
MANThey always look at me like a criminal, but I always get paper in a plastic. And they don't realize, I make up for it. I use them again. For the garbage. I probably bought much fewer plastic garbage bags than they did.
WOMANYou recycled.
MANIn my way. But they didn't know and I got sick of telling them. Like I got sick of getting them. Every week, sometimes twice, three times a week. Grocery bags. They come in. I empty them. Then I fill them with trash. That starts to stink. So I have to take them out. To the dumpster. All that trash. Always. All that food in. All that trash out. In, out. In, out. Over and over. And over. In my apartment. My little apartment. With the rules. And the noise. Other people have houses. Big houses. With pools. I have to share walls. Park in a spot. And no pets!
WOMANYou're just upset. Frightened.
9.
MANNo. I've blown it. I've blown it.
(pause)I made bad choices. They seemed so good at the time but ... they were bad.
(pause)That's why I really can't be sure of anything, can I? I mean, I've been so sure in the past and been so wrong, right? Look, come here, sit down.
(He leads her back to the couch. They sit.)
We've been through a lot.
WOMANI know.
MANYou know I believe.
WOMANI know.
MANOne way or another.
WOMANI know.
MANWe both believe.
WOMANYes, we do.
MANThat there's something more.
WOMANYes.
MANA soul. That goes on. Perhaps returns.
WOMANI believe that.
MANI know. That's why. That's why I came to you. It's like a card game. After a certain point, you know you can't win. And ... you'd just rather get a new hand. A new deal. That's what I want.
WOMANA new hand.
MANI want a new hand.
10.
WOMANBut you'd have to start -- over.
MANOver? Yes. That's what I want. Maybe I get to suckle a nipple and shit myself. That sounds pretty good right now.
WOMANBut you'd cry. I mean if -- if there were -- if we do come back -- There are times you'd --
MANScream bloody murder! Yes. That, too. But, remember after that. Remember when we were young? When we were new? Everything was possible for us. We lived in world of infinite possibilities, not ...
WOMANResponsibilities.
MANJobs. Rent. Grocery bags.
WOMANI remember my childhood.
MANRemember how good we felt? When we were little kids? God, it seems like yesterday. I wish ...
WOMANYes?
MANI wish ...
WOMANWhat?
MANI don't think I paid attention.
WOMANTo what?
MANI must not have or -- it wouldn't have gone by so fast.
WOMANYour life?
MANSo damn fast. What? Oh, yes, my life. All those years. Gone.
(snaps his fingers)Like that!
11.
WOMANIt does go fast. We don't realize when we're young.
MANWhat I remember most is that when I was a kid my back was ... perfect. Never sore. I slept so well. And the energy! Remember how we'd wake right up, so full of energy.
WOMANDidn't even need coffee.
MANOr drugs or pills or vitamins. And all that mattered was what game to play.
WOMANWho to play with.
MANRight!
WOMANI didn't have anyone ...
MANThat's right, you didn't.
WOMANDidn't have anyone to play with. Because of my mother.
MANBecause the house wasn't clean.
WOMANI couldn't have anyone over.
MANThat was so ...
WOMANAnd of course my father was always ... gone.
MANGone. Business?
WOMANI had that room full of toys. And ... no friends.
MANThat's right. No brothers or sisters.
WOMANWhat about yours?
MANThey don't care.
12.
WOMANThey won't -- help?
MANHelp? No. We're not ... close. None of us are ...
WOMANClose.
MANAnd I don't want them to know. Oh, God no. I couldn't take it if they ... found out ... about this. You're lucky you were an only child.
WOMANNo! I --
MANYou are. You don't realize.
WOMANI was trying to tell you. Some children don't ... you know... some children have problems. Serious problems.
MANI know. I ... I wasn't thinking of that. I was thinking of my particular situation.
WOMANBut if we come back -- if you come back -- there's no way to -- know.
MANKnow. No. There isn't. I know. I don't care. I don't care, I'll take my chances.
(He starts to hyperventilate.)
WOMANWhat are you doing?
(He continues.)Stop that! I don't like --
(THE MAN puts the gun barrel in his mouth. THE WOMAN freezes. HE cocks the revolver. His left hand holds the gun very tightly as he tries to get himself to pull the trigger with his right. Both hands shake. He wants to so bad but can't. He collapses. The gun drops. It goes off! A lamp shatters.)
MANOh God. I'm sorry. You're okay, right?
13.
WOMANI'm ... okay.
MANI wouldn't want to hurt you.
WOMANYes, I know.
MANI wouldn't want to hurt anybody.
WOMANI know.
MANWell, except for, Hitler or somebody like that. Or you know, that stuff you say when you're driving, when you're angry. But you don't really ... if you were given the chance, you wouldn't really ...
WOMANYou wouldn't really hurt anyone.
MAN(goes to pick up the gun)
I'm so sorry -- I'll be more careful.
WOMAN(stops him)
That's okay.(reaches for the gun)
I'll take it.(picks it up)
I'll hold it. I'll just ... hold it.
MANHold it. Good. Yes, I ... I need help. You see? See how I need help?
(no response)I thought about it. This would be safer for you, than if, if I were in the hospital, paralysed. Then you'd be in trouble. There are rules about that. But, this. You just, you just tell them. Tell them I pointed the gun at you. They'll believe that because -- well they will. And you can say that we struggled, and they'll believe that, especially because --
(indicates the shattered lamp)And then you, you tell them you got it away from me, and stood up, and I was below you, on my knees. And I was enraged, and told you you didn't have the nerve to fire, and I was going to take it away from you and kill you. And I lunged at you and you fired. Into my head. Something like that. They'll believe it. They will. And you'll be okay. And they'll have my body, they'll have what they want. And so will I.
14.
(She sits down on the couch. He kneels there on the floor.)
WOMANWhat if ... what if we don't -- return?
MANReturn?
WOMANYes.
(pause)
MANThen, fine.
WOMANI mean. We believe.
MANYes. Yes, we do believe.
WOMANBut we don't ... know.
MANKnow. No. We don't know. We don't really know anything, do we?
(Long pause.)
WOMANI guess not.
MANIt's all a mystery.
WOMANWe can only guess.
MANWe have our experiences. But we can be fooled. We can fool ourselves. Deep down we know that. We know it's a mystery. We're in suspense.
WOMANAnxious.
MANIll at ease. Because we have no assurance we'll get the answer. Or ...
WOMANOr like the answer?
15.
MANBut, we probably will. We discussed this many times. You and me. And that gun. We're all made of protons, neutrons and electrons, right? Same stuff. Just stacked differently. That's all. Something makes us different.
WOMANThan the gun.
MANAnd that lamp. Or this couch.
WOMANSomething. Something more.
(long pause)
MANAnd if not, I say fine. Think about it. Suppose there is nothing. It's all just, just particles, stacked ... differently.
WOMANDifferently.
MANAnd there's nothing. After. It would be just be like a light turning off. You wouldn't know what your missing. No pain. No anxiety. No ill ease. It would be like ... going to sleep. Falling deeply asleep.
WOMANBut you don't wake up.
MANBut you don't know that you don't wake up. So it would just be peaceful ... a release.
WOMANI'd like there to be more.
MANAnd there probably is. Everything points to it. But, if not, I'm prepared. I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind being released. From all this.
(We hear sirens approaching. He looks to her, beseeching. The sirens get louder. Stop as we hear cars pull up outside. She rises. Footsteps. He looks at her. Pounding on the door. She moves toward it. Stops. Looks back to him. Pause.)
16.
MAN (contíd)Thank you.
(He bows his head slightly. She raises the gun and fires.)
(BLACKOUT)
(long pause)
MAN'S VOICEThank you! Oh... Oh, that wasn't so bad. Just hot. Just hot when there was that flash. Just for a second. I could've done that. If I'd known. Easy.
(pause)I'm still here! Yes! Still here ... God, it's dark. I wish I could move ... I can't ... I God, oh no. No, no, no, no, no. I can't just think. This can't be all. This can't ... Is this it? This can't be it. This can't be. Maybe if I'm quiet. It'll just stop.
(pause)I can't stop. I can't stop thinking. Oh, God I can't move anything. I can't feel anything. Oh, Jesus! Oh, no! Oh, God no!
(END OF PLAY)
17.