Relationship Advice from Those Who’ve Mastered It!!Couple walking in the snowAn author of a recent article completed for The Huffington Post sought out friends and clients that seemed inherently skilled at having successful relationships. Her research resulted in an article that produced several tips for building a stable and successful partnership.!!To have a successful partnership, the individual must first have an in-depth knowledge of themselves—of their own faults, weaknesses and insecurities. Personal insecurities and faults should not be projected upon the partner. People tend to be drawn to those who have qualities that they admire—qualities they wish they could employ themselves. However, as time passes, and the task becomes more difficult to transfer, infatuation can morph into blame and frustration. A spontaneous person is suddenly seen as flighty, through the individual’s projections of his or her own issues. Tied to this is the development of false expectations for a partner. Do not develop the notion that the partner is perfect; all humans have their faults that need to be understood. The past also needs to be let go; individuals must know that this new partner is not the same as their ex. Releasing this bias allows new situations and conflicts to be approached in a fair manner. Finally, know when space is needed. Don’t be the individual who enters a relationship and disappears—the person who stops engaging in hobbies and seeing friends and family. Partnerships need some inherent independence to really thrive.!!Communication is also very important; it is especially important that communication is authentic—that an environment is created in which each partner feels free to speak as they need to and that they will be heard. With this, it is important that there is a balance of give and take. Each partner needs to take their turn sharing and listening; there should not be an imbalance, as that can spur problems. Some individuals fear opening up, as it also opens the person up for heartbreak. This fear needs to be overcome, as it is not fair to expect the partner to share and give nothing in return. To achieve this, it can be important to be familiar with a partner’s love language. According to The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, there are five ways individuals communicate—Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Gift Giving. Understanding how a partner communicates opens lines of communication immensely. Finally, the pair should be able to make each other laugh. This involves an inherent trust—an ability to lower one’s walls and simply enjoy each other’s company.!!This ability to lower walls has further applicability on the relationship as well. To be able to lower one’s walls and trust that the expectation on the relationship is a positive one can work wonders. If the individual believes the relationship will go badly, eventually that self-fulfilling prophecy will catch up. However, if only good things are expected, good things will come from

the partnership. Along similar lines, if the individual is able to drop their wall—to love themselves, their partner and all others—it will make the task of loving their partner specifically much easier. With this comes the knowledge that the individual is one hundred percent whole on their own, and that their partner serves to complement them, not complete them.