Relating with Others: Letting Go of Pride

Thrive in Christ Handout

Everyone has their relationship philosophies and how they do relationship because God made them very special indeed. Everyone is their own unique person and has their own different ways of living. Everyone has different interests, goals and hobbies and different opinions. I am not saying we should support their lifestyle, or say it is not sin, but we need to respect people as the individuals God created them to be. We need to treat others with grace and embrace others instead of focusing on ourselves. Too often, people argue with people over what they wear, how they relate to others that wedges come in between them and the other person. We get into too many arguments because we are either trying to get people to be like us, or we react to people thinking they are doing that. For instance, you can probably recall these phrases:

“Not everyone is like that”

“Not everyone is like you”

“Not everyone thinks the way you do”

“Everyone sees it differently than you do”

“You are different than everyone else”

“Im not into such and such”

Usually when people are told this, they try to be like everyone else and they forfeit who God made them to be in the process. Usually these people are being self-centered and are trying to intimidate them. The way to relate to others without forcing yourself on others is to:

1) Be Yourself 2) Do unto others as you would want them to do to you Matthew 7:12

Usually when we want others to relate to us, we want them to:

1. Accept us for who they are 2. Be genuinely interested in them 3. Have our best interests at heart 4. Make our lives enjoyable 5. Be Friendly and Hospitable 6. Respect our Views and Boundaries and not argue with them 7. Accept their views, opinions and actions in a given setting and not try to reason it out on your

own (ie accept how they mean and define things, not your interpretation of things) (ex. If a person used the term relationship and all they meant was this, and you say, “well this is how I

see relationships”…when talking to others and understanding others, let them be the author of their own words and actions)

8. Work with them to forge a relationship (ie a connection between two people)

We need to do the same with others…especially when comes to relationships, since:

P1. Everyone has different views concerning how they do relationships

P2. We need to relate to others

Conclusion. Respect Others Views, and forge a compromise

We get into arguments sometimes due to our pride. We think that our assumptions or opinions are blatant fact. It is why people have a hard time understanding people. We let our pride get in the way of truly understanding and communicating with others. I get asked all the time why I do not do online only relationships, or church only relationships and it’s because I do not want awkward relationships. They may reply, “Well if they want to do that, shouldn’t you let them?”, the answer is no. If we want to respect boundaries we should respect other’s as well.

You have probably heard of these beliefs, but these are matters of preference, since God created us differently and not absolutes:

1. Internet vs In Person2. X-Friend vs Friend in X 3. Labels and Categories (Acquaintance vs. Friend)

Many times, we get Opinionated , or that we get conceited in our own opinions and assumptions (statements that people believe to be true or “proven”, but are not truly proven) that we just do not realize that they are not facts. We get so conceited that we feel like we must be God in many situations, and that is dangerous. We are not God, only God is God….and these three things are just matters of opinion and preference, everyone is different.

So just try not to argue with people about relationships, for people can do it their way. Just when you go with the flow, make sure that boundaries are in place.

Everyone is different and God made us unique and special, so we should all:

1. Accept each other for how God made them 2. Honor Others3. Do your best to see things from their angle without your pride clouding it in 4. Do our best to submit to our audience, cater to their interests while submitting to God

Pride always comes before a fall, but when we look not just to our own interests, but also to the interests of others, we can truly relate to other people. We just have to get off of ourselves.

“Look not unto our own interests, but also the interests of others” Philippians 2:4