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April 13 - May 3, 2006April 13 - May 3, 2006

IN THIS ISSUE

Inside Panoply

Rollin w/ Dixie Derby Girls

Trapt, Chevelle, and Nickelback

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In The PlanetTHE VALLEY PLANET VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306

April 13 - May 3, 2006NEXT ISSUE May 4, 2006

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306

The Valley Planet is printed for you by the good folks at Pulaski Web

in beautiful & sunny Pulaski, Tennessee.

203 Grove Ave., Huntsville Al, 35801, phone 256.533-4613

Letter from the Publisher

Thank you for reading the fine print of the Valley Planet. The Valley Planet and valleyplanet.com are published every three weeks by J W Publications in Huntsville, AL. You can pick up the paper free all over the place or get it free on the web. Copyright 2003 by the Valley Planet, Inc. All rights reserved.

Reproduction or use without our permission is strictly prohibited. The views and opinions expressed within these pages and on the web site are not necessarily those of the Valley Planet or its staff. The Valley Planet is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts or art. Back issues are available for viewing on our web site www.valleyplanet.com in the archives section. You may reach the Valley Planet office @ 256.533.4613. Email us at [email protected] or [email protected]

256-533-4613

PublishersFrankie Glassco

Jill Wood

Editor Billy Joe Cooley

Distribution Charlotte Griffin

Graphics & LayoutFrances Damian

ContributorsRicky Thomason

Allison GreggSteve MoultonBilly Joe CooleyJennifer Roberts

Roy ThomasTina Rochester

Tony FerrariKorKeya

James SpagnolaLiv Lanier

Siouxsie SlewBetty Grisham

Tina LeachFifi Bordeaux

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Gossip, On The Cover

Unchained Maladies

My Soapbox, Panoply of the Arts A Com-munity Tradition, Clear Blue WaterThe Hollow

Salsa, Real Live Roller Derby, April Lime-light Artist at HALWhen Dreams Come True

Word on The Street, Music Calendar

Earth Day 2006

Keep it Local!

Panoply of the Arts: Taking it to the Street

Dining with Friends

Dr. Anarcho’s

Nip it in the Bud

Single & Fabulous

Party of One

Todd Snider, The Garden District

Listings

News of the Weird

Changes, changes, change, Huntsville is all about changing. I am not complaining and I think

change is good; however, it sure really can be a hassle. For instance, all the work on the Parkway, will it ever be completed? Now we have some kind of delay, but what else is new, right? South Parkway is in such a mess that I try to refrain from going that way. We all know that when it is done we won’t even remember the hassle.

You know downtown is going through some changes, too. The old Heart of Huntsville mall will be leveled by 2007, the people from Axis and 721 are moving up on the hill at the end of Golf Rd. Man, do I have memories on that hill. The old Plush Horse, WOW!On the square, we are getting the “House of Brews” and Crossroads is heading

for 115 Clinton St. Whew! Changes to the (previously open) Sammy’s Live are coming up too. Oh yeah, the Dallas Mill Deli on Pratt and Washington should be opening pretty soon. That is enough to make your head spin.

Panoply is the on its way! We will have a tent so everyone come by and see us, OK? You can register for a chance to win Dora the Explorer tickets while you are there! I think with the way the Panoply people are talking that this 25th Anniversary Panoply is going to be the best. There will be street performers, great acts and a lot of cool stuff for the kids to do. Don’t forget about the good food either.

Stay Safe!Later,Frankie Glassco

THE VALLEY PLANET WWW.VALLEYPLANET.COM 3 #041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5

GossipBy Billy Joe Cooley

On the Cover

There must be something in the water, Weddings are in the works all over town this spring. Our galpal Barbara Manley will wed Latham Carmen on June 10. Then, pretty Tonya Renee Morris of Sanford, N.C., will marry Madison pianist (and engineer) Matt Adams on June 26. Good things have come to Thomas English. He is now on faculty at UAB, is working on his PhD, and he and wife Heather have a daughter named Lilli Frances. Meanwhile, his dad (Dr. Bill) had a knee replacement this week and back surgery is pending. Furthermore, the English’s godson, Rainer Moore had artwork gracing the cover of a recent Valley Planet. David Whitt is 80 and still plays piano as he did when his duties included playing the music for Lloyd Tyget’s ballet school. What a pleasant surprise running into TV legend Jamie Cooper the other afternoon over on Grove

Avenue. He is still going strong on ZTV-11 – and looking like a kid -- after all these years. This is “Be Nice to Jeremy Batey Day” in Section. He is No. 10 on the Section Lions football team. Many Huntsvillians trek up to South Pittsburg for the annual Cornbread Festival on April 29-30 (Sat. and Sun.). It attracts some 40,000 people from over the world to my little hometown. OUR GAL GAIL says “It is with great disappointment that we bid a fond farewell to Dave McConnell (The Sinatra Guy). His job has sent him to Sweden for 16 months. We will truly miss his fabulous Frank Sinatra show around town. His final show before he left was March 31 at the Jazz Factory. His entire band was there to back him up, as were all his fans. Slate Sandlison and Laura Hudson were at the Jazz Factory on Saturday March 11 to hear the news about Dave’s departure. St Patrick’s Day was very hopping. The Celtic band, Maple Hill, returned to The Corner Bar and Grill with a new Irish River dancer, Laura Thorndike. Great waitress Amy Grammer was dressed for the occasion. Chips and Salsa’s crew was festive and friendly, bartenders Brandon Craig and Greg Woodbarry stayed very busy as did waitresses Shanon Chaismar and Liz

Justice. Scott Schlapman, Jason Daniel and Joy Gibbs celebrated the wearing of green at a Mexican bar. Like every St. Paddy’s Day, late night at Finnigan’s kept a celebrating crowd right up until closing time. This time it included Sean Magens, Rachael Harris, Gabe Phillips and Bret Kuykendall. Bruce the Barkeep busily served the very happy crowd while Chris O’Brian and Jo Beth Gleason tried to tickle the ivories of Nancy Marie’s piano.

And happy birthday to Christian Critelli. Bo Williams has a website on which he extols the taste of the new Diet Mountain Dew: www.newdietdewisyucky.com. He says he gets lots of attention from the media and has a good campaign going. Gary James Bridge writes to welcome to the world his grand niece, Sheriden Skylar Moser. Our friend Jesse Jones (Tim’s dad) has opened his Karaoke Café in Henagar, across from the post office. And serves absolutely the best tasting fried onion rings in existence.------My email address is [email protected] book ‘Away Down South’ makes a fine gift.Autographed and mailed for $16.115 W. Clinton, Suite 805, Huntsville AL 35801

Springtime, by legendary Huntsville artist Betty Grisham, was chosen as the official Panoply

2006 poster for several reasons. One of the more obvious ones is that the work was created in 1982, the first year of Panoply, and it seemed appropriate

Although not specifically created in response to Panoply, the painting can also be interpreted in a very literal way as heralding the blooming of the arts in Huntsville. The beautifully-drawn central rose design features a large mature blossom that can be viewed as the many mature arts organizations that existed in Huntsville in 1982. To the right, the smaller blossom, just opening, speaks of newer art forms or organizations beginning to develop. And the small, faint bud at the far right of the stem hints at the world of art that is yet to be.

Color-wise, the rose design is set against a warm and relatively-calm space that describes a valley bound on either side by mountains of undulating color. The eight small pieces of appliquéd fabric seem to be coming down from the mountains and surrounding the rose figure. These appliqués can perhaps be interpreted as the diverse ethnic, racial, and geographical influences that have so profoundly enhanced the flowering of the arts in our valley city, Huntsville.

to choose this work and to honor this artist in 2006, the 25th Anniversary of Panoply. Additionally, the title of the piece, drawn in calligraphy by Vannah Husband, Betty’s talented daughter, relates directly to the time of year Panoply has traditionally been held since its inception. But the painting suggests many more meanings and will undoubtedly resonate differently with each viewer.

Betty Grisham’s art has always been closely associated with fabrics, from hand-painted silks to silk needlepoint, although she has also distinguished herself working on more traditional surfaces such as canvas and paper. Representative of the very best of Betty’s art, Springtime was painted directly on a stretched silk surface using dyes and with the addition of small geometric pieces of her hand-painted fabrics appliquéd directly to the surface. The wonderful range of colors causes the surface to pulse with life as if it’s dancing to a strong musical rhythm. The effect is dramatic and seems to hint at all the major art forms showcased at Panoply.


Ricky Thomason is a freelance writer from Huntsville. Email Rick at [email protected] Ricky know what you think at our forums at www.valleyplanet.com.

artwork by Debbie West

UnchainedMaladies

Ricky ThomasonWrites

It’s “Panoply,” not “pantie-plea” like I originally thought.

“Panoply,” is defined by the Merriam Webster Collegiate Dictionary as: a noun with an etymology from the Greek panoplia from pan - + hopla arms, arm or, plural of hoplan tool, weapon.

It dates from 1632. The meanings given are; 1. A: a full suit of armor or B: ceremonial attire2. Something forming a protective covering3. A: a magnificent impressive array (the full panoply of military funeral)B: a display of all appropriate appurtenances (it has the panoply of science fiction… but is not true science fiction – Isaac Asimov

An appurtenance is loosely defined as an apparatus.

Who named this deal? I suppose it has the appurtenances of a festival or a carnival without being one or something. Maybe we were supposed to wear ceremonial attire, or full suits of armor.

In truth, I liked it better when I thought it was a pantie plea. God knows all young men have made a few of those.

In the movie Sixteen Candles, Molly Ringwald’s character endeared herself to the hearts and imaginations of young geeks everywhere when she answered Anthony Michael Hall’s character’s pantie-plea, and gave him the pair she was wearing.

Talk about a prayer answered; that’s a girl with a heart. And then someone is really a nice guy when they’ll give you the shirt off their back.

Yeah, I know it was just a movie, and she was only playing a character, but they were Molly Ringwald’s panties and there’s no telling what a real pair would bring on Ebay today.

If you like pina~ coladas, and taking walks in the rain The Wall Street Journal reported that in the decade-plus since the advent of online dating some two-million Americans met their spouses online According to the Pew Internet & American Life Project, a nonprofit research organization, those two million married Internet users make up about half the total number of people who married last year.

… Now the divorces are starting.

It seems that there’s now ample evidence to suggest that people lie online.

You think?

According to WSJ in 1995, Matt Frassica, tired of singles bars and set-ups by friends, tried his hand at dating online. There he met, and later married, a woman who also liked long walks in the rain and homemade lasagna. They were even featured in People magazine as a prototype of successful cyber-romance.

Then the fairy tale ended. Mr. Frassica said he realized he was gay, and the divorce was official last year. “We avoided getting to know the real person,” says the 34-year-old corporate recruiter in San Francisco. “All we knew was the profiles of each other.” (His ex-wife confirms that.)

When people describe themselves online, they tell you about the person that they’d like to be, not who they really are. We know everyone is beautiful in their own way, but it’s far from the way they think.

Anyone who’s ever spent much time in online chatrooms, or had face-to-faces with someone they met online has stories to tell.ÿ If you’re six feet tall, the Empire State building is a mile high.ÿ Yeah? If you weigh 140 pounds, my Ford Explorer must weigh about 150.ÿ If that’s eight inches, a yardstick is 6-feet long.ÿ The only thing athletic about you is your feet.ÿ My, you really DO have the face of a saint. A Saint Bernard.ÿ You say you’re a nature lover? Hard to believe after what it did to you.ÿ If you’re outgoing, watch that door. It’ll hit you in the ass.ÿ I said I liked Shrek. That didn’t mean I wanted to date him.

If you’re tired of the lies and games of online dating, I have just the website for you. It’s Brutally Honest Personals (www.esquire.com/brutal/). Everyday people post ads there “with the hope of finding someone willing to accept them at face value. So, please, scan their profiles. You may not get exactly what you want, but at least you know exactly what you’re getting.”

57 year-old Dave describes himself this way: I’m an overweight, middle-aged underachiever. The skull tattoos on my arms complement my wardrobe, which I call rural proletarian. I sleep on the floor in a sparsely furnished apartment. I urinate frequently and pick my nose. I’m embarrassed that I own a Bible. After a tragic foray into Santeria, I’ve incurred crushing debt. SEXUAL HABITS: Can be summed up simply: brief digital, extended oral, premature genital. I have herpes.

Maybe he can get together with Rebecca: When I feel bad, it helps me to call you at work. Frequently. Rushing me off the phone will just make me cry and pester you with e-mails. I have a little dog that I tend to bring everywhere, because if I leave him at home, he yips. If you plan on sleeping with me, you will not complain when I bring him on dates in a little black bag. I’m a little curious about spanking, but we can never try it at my house, because my ex-boyfriend lives on the other side of the wall and will hear us.

If there is enough interest, your Valley Planet, ever a little ahead of the curve, would consider our own “Brutally Honest Personal Ads” section. We’re not free, but we are reasonable.

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Panoply of the ArtsA Community Tradition

By Roy ThomasRedstone Federal Credit Union

Get your FREE Valley Planet Static Cling

Decal!!Send a self addressed, stamped envelope to

203 Grove Ave. Huntsville, AL 35801

If you’ve never gone to the Panoply of the Arts event at Big Springs Park in downtown Huntsville, it’s a lot

of fun, and the cultural aspects of this weekend-long event are truly unique. It’s been a tradition in my family to go to Panoply each year.

It is a springtime event that many look forward to attending. And which Redstone Federal Credit Union looks forward to supporting.

Most people who attend Panoply can’t wait to see the unique handcrafted items for sale from Tennessee Valley artists, many of whom we’ve come to find out are members here at Redstone. And others anticipate the rich diversity of musical performances and enjoy the talents of people of all ages.

There is a little something at Panoply for everyone.

An event like this takes a tremendous amount of support from the entire community. From the private to the corporate sector. That is why it’s wonderful to see that Redstone is such a huge supporter of this artistic event.

We have enjoyed being a part of this community for the past 55 years and we’re not going to stop. It’s who we are, people helping people.

We will also have a Mobile somewhere in the park.

When you see our name, you’ll be reminded of how important it is for us here at Redstone Federal Credit Union to be a part of the community. Have fun while you’re there and check out the tent that features student artwork.

So I met Gloria Steinem over spring break. One of my heroes, and all I manage is a “You’re Awesome.” It

was one of those moments written right out of my dreams, and I said, “You’re Awesome.” Just to make sure you are hearing me on this one, let me reiterate. I met Gloria Steinem, a woman partly responsible for my options in life being more than wife or secretary and said, “You’re Awesome.” To make up for that, I am going to share a few things with you dear readers, that I wished I would have spoken of with Gloria (and, yes, my ‘awesome’‚ comment granted me a first name basis with her).

First of all, I should have said thanks. Thanks for giving Me Ms. a name other than married or not married. Thanks for fighting tirelessly for ME. Thank you for creating an outlet for women to be heard. Thank you for looking in and speaking out. Thank you for the revolution.

Then, I should have apologized. I’m sorry. I am sorry that I Can’t do more to save what you have worked all your

life to build. I am sorry that we are regressing as opposed to progressing. I am sorry that in the 2004 presidential election more than 19 million women did not vote. I am truly sorry that two thirds of those women were around my age.

I was driving to a friend’s house during the last state of the union speech when I heard on the radio that Cindy Sheehan was arrested. When I arrived to my girl’s house, I looked at her, “Dude! They just arrested Cindy Sheehan!” She replied, “Whose Cindy Sheehan?” I must have had an accusing look on my face because she then said, “Aww, come on, I mean I care, I vote.”

Right on. I dig people that vote, but that’s not enough these days. We have to step it up a little bit, my comrades. These times are crucial. But why the lack of interest? Why are people my age not involved? Why was I the only one in the room with Gloria younger than 30?

Perhaps, people feel that there is not an outlet here. That this is just Huntsville, what can be done here? (This is where I tie it all together, pay close attention. Drum roll, please).

Okay, we are trying to reorganize the NOW (National Organization for Women) chapter here in Huntsville. Anybody interested? Anybody? If so, contact me, Liv, at [email protected]. I won’t take up any more room of this fine paper with my rants, but feel free to use that email address for questions, concerns, answers, comments, I’ll take it all.

Meetings start soon. (Like, NOW).

My SoapboxBy Liv Lanier

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Visit our Tent at

PanoplyApril 28-30

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Noah Fairburn, 4th Grade, Randolph School

Olivia Skillern, 4th Grade, Rainbow Elementary

The Hollow There’s A Reason It’s A Classic


Salsa in SpringArt Party at the Huntsville Museum of Art

The Huntsville Museum of Art is bringing food, music and fun to downtown Huntsville with Salsa in Spring, an Art Party at the Huntsville Museum of Art, Thursday, April 20.

This is the Museum’s opportunity to open its doors to the public and show there’s more to be had than beautiful art.

Starting at 5 p.m., those feeling the groove can learn how to salsa and samba with dance lessons in the Great Hall. There will also be a cash bar offering margaritas and beer.

The highly popular and energetic band Mambo Gris Gris will have everyone moving from 6-8 p.m. Free food will also be provided.

The event is open to the public and tickets can be bought in advance for $8 each. Admission is $10 at the door. Museum members are FREE.

RSVPs should be made by April 17 - [email protected] or 535-4350 ext. 208.

Those wanting to join the Museum from now until April 20 can do so by contacting Member Relations at 535-4350 ext. 234. A one year membership of $30 will not only give that person free admission to upcoming exhibitions and events, this will also include free admission to Salsa in Spring.

After more than a year of tirelessly recruiting skaters, promoting the league, and

training feverishly, The Dixie Derby Girls are giving Huntsville its first taste of live Roller Derby Action on April 23, presented by Sledge Body Shop. The first grudge match is against The Tragic City Rollers from Birmingham.

You can scream for your favorite derby girl, rock to The Wednesdays from Florence during the half-time show and party with the Derby Girls and The Pine Hill Haints at Judge Crater’s Tavern at the after-party.

This is not the campy, cheesy spectacle that you might remember. Today’s Roller Derby is a fiercely competitive sport played on a flat track with slightly different rules.

Roller Derby 101The bout is played in heats or jams that can last up to 2 minutes. There are three 20-minute game periods with an unlimited number of jams in each. Two teams play in each jam, with five players in the rink for each team: 1 jammer, 3 blockers, and 1 pivot. The jammers score the points, the blockers block (of course), and the pivots set the pace of the pack.

The blockers and pivots for the teams make up the pack. On the Referee’s first whistle, the pack takes off; on the second whistle, the jammers fight their way through the pack and the first skater through becomes the lead jammer – she earns the right to call off the jam at any time.

After lapping the packs once, the jammers receive one point for each member of the opposing team that they pass. That might sound simple, but remember that the blockers and pivots

Real Live Roller Derby – Finally!

By Siouxsie Slew

are out to stop the opposing team’s jammer – at any cost. The team that scores the most points wins.

Meet Your LeagueThe Dixie Derby Girls – Alabama’s first All-Girl, Flat Track Roller Derby League – have grown from a small group of friends committed to their newfound sport to a real live Roller Derby League with over 25 members.

“We’ve worked pretty much non-stop since December 2004,” says Cherry Violence. “This is a skater-owned, skater-run league. So not only do we train to play, but we also run the business end of things too.”

The League attracts women from all walks of life. Jammer Cherry Violence is a student at Calhoun. Blocker Tura Terror is a UAH art professor. Jammer CU Afterclass is, yes, a middle school teacher. But you’ll only see their Derby Girl side out on the track.

“Part of the fun is having an alter-ego,” says blocker Di N. Pain, a hair stylist by day. “We get to step out of our normal lives, be a little theatric, while playing a sport that we love.”

The DetailsThe Bout: The Dixie Derby Girls vs. The Tragic City Rollers.The Day: Sunday, April 23.The Place: Roller Time Skate Center, 707 Arcadia Circle, Huntsville.The Time: Doors open at 6:30 pm, the bout starts at 7:30 pm.The Price: $10. Tickets on sale at Roller Time beginning April 10.The Entertainment: Half-time show featuring The Wednesdays.The After-party: Immediately following the bout at Judge Crater’s Tavern in downtown Huntsville, featuring The Pine Hill Haints.

The Huntsville Art League “Limelight Artist” is Peter Grant in the month of April. The Huntsville Art League is located at 3005 L & N Drive, Suite

2. The Gallery is open Monday through Saturday from 10 – 6:00 pm

and Sunday 1 – 4 pm.

Peter, president of the Huntsville Art League for 2005-2006, lives and works in Huntsville, AL. .

Born in St. Petersburg, FL, he grew up in Greenville, SC in the midst of an artistic family. His brother was a noted architect, and his son and daughter are currently working in fine arts. Peter took art classes as electives while pursuing a degree in finance at Clemson University. A 20-year military career after college put painting on hold, but allowed Peter to explore art around the world and develop his photography skills. He brought from this period a portfolio of beautiful photos capturing scenes and people from many countries. Peter started painting again following retirement and especially

enjoys equestrian scenes. He is an avid horseman, and can frequently be found riding his horse “Echo” during his free time.

In the Huntsville Art League, you will be able to enjoy Peter’s Southwestern touch. This style has been much influenced by visiting galleries in Santa Fe and Taos, NM. Peter paints with acrylics on canvas using a broad brush and bold, bright colors to show life and motion and evoke emotion. Peter’s love of this medium is reflected in the energy seen in his paintings and his subjects and techniques have become popular with his many new fans. Horses in motion are the focus of most of Peter’s paintings, although he also does some other subjects including abstracts.

Don’t miss the Peter Grant Limelight Reception on Sunday, April 9 from 2 -4. The public is invited to attend and there is no admission charge. HAL is located at 3005 L & N Drive, Suite 2. For more information, call 534-3860.

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Rachael Phillips, 4th Grade, Country Day School

Randy Wiegman, 3rd Grade, Holy Family School

April Limelight Artist at HAL


In our lifetimes w e

acquire many memorab le experiences. If we are lucky we get the opportunity to add a few that are truly

unforgettable. I recently had the pleasure of enjoying such an experience thanks to my good friend Daniel May.

Daniel was born with a rare form of muscular dystrophy, one that is crippling and fatal. He has already far outlived his life expectancy, which I find to be a testament to the true nature of his spirit. In the time that I have come to know Daniel I have learned that he is a talented artist with a very beautiful spirit that is an inspiration to everyone that he comes in contact with. However, Daniel’s progression is getting worse, and his heart is weak.

While sharing his music collection with me one day he introduced me to the haunting lyrics, intense harmonies and driving bass sound that is one of his favorite bands, Chevelle. I had heard one of their radio hits the “suffocating” song but didn’t know what it was called. I wasn’t familiar with their music beyond that. He mentioned that they were coming to town with Trapt and Nickelback, two more of his favorite bands. He mentioned that he would like to attend the show.

At that moment a light bulb went off in my head. I, without giving it a lot of forethought, offered to arrange for Daniel to meet Chevelle and attend the upcoming show. It seemed simple enough to accomplish. I had many contacts at their record label from my years as a magazine publisher and journalist.

And so it began...

One of the greatest joys I have experienced in life has been to be in a position to give people unique experiences that they would not be able to enjoy otherwise. I eventually arranged for Daniel, David (his brother), Monica (his sister-in-law), Brad (a close personal friend of mine), and myself to meet Chevelle and Trapt and review the entire show. I wanted to make sure that this was an evening that Daniel would not soon forget.

I had set up the meeting with Trapt to happen first and was in contact with their tour manager, Pete. When we arrived behind the Von Braun Center we were greeted by Pete who was very helpful and gracious. Several silver buses loomed behind a crowd of other people who had won meet and greets with the bands through the radio station.

The members of Trapt made a beeline straight to our group and to Daniel.

When Dreams Come TrueLocal artist with muscular dystrophy meets three of his favorite bands

BY Toni Ferrari

They were very congenial and showed interest in learning more about Daniel. They hung out with us while we waited for Chevelle and signed autographs and took pictures. They talked about the tour and the new CD.

The anticipation of seeing Daniel meet his favorite band was almost too much to handle. I had worked hard to make this happen. Chevelle’s management was not exactly easy to deal with and didn’t give the green light on the meeting until a day before the show so I didn’t know what to expect.

The very moment Pete Loeffler (lead singer and principal songwriter of Chevelle) walked over to Daniel and bent down and shook his hand, and the look on Daniel’s face...I was rewarded in ways I can’t possibly put into words. It was all worth it. I knew right then that I wanted to do this as many times as I could and for as many people as I could. At that moment several dreams came true. I knew this was one of those moments that we would never forget.

The members of Chevelle were very friendly and spent longer than I would have expected talking to Daniel. They talked about him and his art. They talked about the band. They talked about the new CD that they were recording; even giving Daniel privileged bits of inside

information. They treated him like they were all lifelong friends.

After the meeting, Pete (Trapt’s tour manager) saved the day by working out our parking situation and escorting us in through the band entrance.

As the lights dimmed and Trapt’s members took the stage, their lead singer was nowhere to be seen. Starting the evening off with “Still Frame,” Chris Brown came running from an area backstage yelling, “please help me cause I’m breaking down, this picture’s frozen, and I can’t get out

of here.” running around holding the microphone, he jumped back and forth, leaning down to grab the hands of countless screaming fans.

It doesn’t take long to figure out that Trapt’s live performance depends very much on the charisma and intensity of their lead singer, who works the people in his own unique way, truly connecting. Leaving the stage after playing all the songs you would be familiar with from both albums, Trapt quickly returned to an overwhelming response for “Headstrong”. The song that broke Trapt into America’s mainstream consciousness concluded their performance with a bang.

As the anticipation built for Chevelle’s performance David and I made our way through numerous security guards towards the photo pit. We glanced behind us at all of the people clustered in. The crowd had gotten substantially larger by now. When Chevelle finally took the stage the lights dimmed and the crowd become like a huge thunder chanting, “Chevelle” repeatedly.

Lights flashed like crazy. The band burst into their first song with ferocious energy. The second song they played was the one I was very grateful for being able to be up close and personal for. The lights went red as Pete played the opening chords of “The Red”. It was almost spiritual. He played and sang the entire song standing at the very back of the stage behind his mic stand with his left foot propped on his monitor. He played with a constrained angst and passion that immediately reminded me of Kurt Cobain. At times he leaned so far back that a normal person would have fallen only to come flying forward lightning fast to do it all over again.

Pete Loeffler sang with a haunting intensity that had me reliving much of my own childhood angst. They proceeded to put on an amazing high energy set. They certainly played their hearts out. I was so caught up in the moment that I only know that they

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played all of their radio hits and more, including a new song that they told Daniel they would play. Pete didn’t talk much, but he came through on what was important, singing flawlessly throughout the night, delivering his signature melodic and tension-filled vocals. By the time Chevelle left the stage they had become one of my two favorite bands and remain so.

The show’s headliner, Nickelback, was scheduled to come on after a short break. I hardly imagined that their performance would even measure up to that of Chevelle. Nickelback kicked off its set with Pyro effects adding extra punch to lead singer/guitarist Chad Kroeger’s radio driven riffs. The moment they started playing a wall of flames exploded on either side of the drum kit.

Nickelback included within its set several of the songs from its latest album, “All the Right Reasons,” and hits from previous albums. A welcome surprise was a couple of hits from their critically acclaimed first album, “The State”, including an awesome version of “Leader of Men”.

Playing several songs from their groundbreaking “Silver Side Up,” Chad Kroeger and company proved their musical might by playing solos all over the stage, Kroeger even getting right in our faces, literally, for drawn out guitar solo.

They played all of the songs that you would expect to an almost sold out crowd. Crowd favorites, “Someday”, “Too Late”, and “How You Remind Me,” elicited huge audience sing-a-longs.They even broke through the music and had an assortment of people shoot t-shirts and stuff into the audience with air-powered cannons.

Nickelback also paid tribute to Pantera guitarist “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott who was murdered at a concert a few years ago. Chad Kroeger mentioned “Side of a Bullet,” a song on which some of Abbott’s work appears. He said, “A good friend of mine and one of the best guitar players ever was taken

from us. He was murdered on stage doing what he loved.” That led to a taped nod of archived footage dedicated to Abbott’s career, with interviews and homemade video segments. Videotaped scenes of “Dimebag” playing guitar were played along with “Side of a Bullet.”

At the end of the night when it was all said and done all three bands were excellent with Nickelback blowing us away with pyrotechnic and stage presence. However, Chevelle left us with a haunting memorable performance that we won’t forget soon.

The next weekend I lined up a surprise for three unsuspecting people including Daniel and David.

I invited my stepdaughter, Kamie and David’s sister-in-law, Molly to go with us to meet and see one of their favorite bands, Switchfoot, perform.

I was already impressed with Switchfoot and the lead singer, Jon Foreman, because of their completely positive approach to their music and to life in general. My interview with Jon was one

of the most spiritually rewarding I have done. As well as, being a group of very talented performers, the members of Switchfoot are also true humanitarians supporting many human rights issues, including underprivileged children and AIDS victims in our country and around the world.Evidence of their immense generosity was the section that was reserved for

special needs kids and the VIP treatment that they received at this show.

The members of Switchfoot were the most humble and gracious band that my party and I could have had the honor of meeting. They were more than friendly, taking a very unique interest in each of us, including

Daniel who they spoke with in great detail about his art, offering him the opportunity to upload his art to their public website.

UK favorites Athlete put on an excellent show reminding me of Coldplay. They were energetic and insightful. They also took the time to meet with us after the show. Their artistic and melodic sound was a nice compliment to the sound of Switchfoot. They were the ideal opener.

It was amazing to me how quickly the auditorium filled up before Switchfoot’s performance. Switchfoot lead singer, Jon Foreman decided to immediately connect with the audience. As he leaned into the front row’s outstretched arms, he communicated his willingness to get close to the crowd and to be one with them. That set the mood for the night, as Foreman continued to reach out and connect with the audience.

They opened with the self-pondering “Stars” before launching into the politically charged rocker “Lonely Nation”. They played tracks from their two latest releases. In the end, at least as many songs were played from their older but more successful

“The Beautiful Letdown” As from their recent “Nothing is Sound”. They also played a couple of newer songs.

Jon likes to climb on things and jump from speakers and drum risers. He is very energetic. He and his brother, Tim, literally flew around the stage. Jon even paused a moment to play guitar with his teeth. At one point when Jon was mingling with the crowd, they almost pulled him off of the stage.

They played all of their classics like “Dare You to Move” and “More Than Fine.” This encouraged audience participation. All through the performance the band showed their creativity. They played one of Jon’s favorites, an anthemic ballad from the newer CD “The Shadow Proves the Sunshine.” The light show was excellent considering the venue being a college fitness center. They joked about the crowd joining them for a swim in the pool. The crowd was mostly students who seemed to be captivated throughout the night and were happy to remain in their standing positions clear up until the encore.

To no surprise, Switchfoot closed the show with their hit “Meant to Live” which left us with a very emotional and spiritually charged evening.

Switchfoot put on an amazing live performance, the best I have seen in a while with their positive tone and intense connection with their audience.

#041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5


M U S I C

Continued on Page 11

music calendarApril 13 - May 3, 2006

If you have a venue with Live Music or Karaoke that you would like for us to list please email to [email protected]

ThursdayApril 13, 2006

3rd Base Grill, EdgarBenchwarmer Too, Karaoke ContestBlack Water Hattie’s, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeCoppertop, Southern Rock 3Crossroads, LaSalle & Halo StereoFreddy’s, Pla’ StationHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night, (Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music Factory

Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Free WorldKaffeeklatsch @Night, Dave AndersonPhilby’s Pourhouse, Toy ShopSammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Bike Night W/The CrawlersSports Page, 5 O’Clock CharlieThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Jim CavenderThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Lacey AtchisonThe Warehouse, Tom Cremeens

I was in Chicago on vacation a week ago and was naturally on the constant lookout for homeless

people. In a city the size of Chicago, you would expect to see homeless people around every corner, begging for change or a handout, pushing their shopping cart homes around, But on this occasion I did not come across more than 10 in the span of three days. I spent a lot of time walking from place to place, riding on trains and on the subway. As I observed interactions and marveled at the diversity in Chicago I found myself comparing the city to Huntsville, both very diverse places. Here are some observations:

The homeless are more visible in Huntsville. Despite Chicago’s population, I still see more street people in Huntsville. Maybe it is because I know most of them, maybe because it is warmer, or maybe it’s just that you can never really tell the difference, especially if you do not know one personally. Whatever the reason I did not observe a massive population of homeless in Chicago, like in the movies.

The homeless in Chicago have their begging down pat. Here, the ones who do it aren’t very good at it. Begging is not tolerated in the train depots in Chicago, but what is allowed is the playing of music in the subway tunnels for change. This made me happy. You pay $2.00 to get in the gates and you can hang out most of the day in a subway tunnel and play music and make money. There are actually signs designating music playing areas. Huntsville just does not have the facilities or the population to do that. Too bad.

The homeless in Chicago are charismatic beggars. They just don’t sorrowfully ask for spare change, they laugh, joke and cuss at you if you ignore them. For the most part I saw Chicagoans stop and listen and joke back with the homeless, the non-homeless public seemed to accept them as a valid part of society. People interacted. And this is what inspires me to write today.

The homeless are a valid part of society, making people question their own livelihoods and inspiring compassionate giving. In some cases their presence may act as a reminder that bad things can happen to good people, proving that success can be easily toppled by just one bad decision, or one case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. As some take to the streets by choice and others by circumstance the homeless population reminds everyone that community includes every living person. Our community is rich in non-profit agencies who help those who have fallen on bad times, unfortunately we do not have as much support from the government as we would like, but we try to work together to be more efficient in our causes. This is what SWOOP is all about, making the connections for youth in crisis (call 539-9440). Crisis Services is for anyone in crisis (call 211), please feel free to call and interact, strengthening our community bond...because people power is better than money power.

The National Runaway Switchboard is based in Chicago, if you would like to know more about the nation’s homeless population or statistics log on to www.1800RUNAWAY.org or call 1-800-RUNAWAY

WORD ON THE STREET By James Spagnola of SWOOP

Theatre Huntsville’s Play-Reading Committee is now soliciting ideas and titles for its 2007-2008 season. The committee will meet regularly throughout 2006 to consider a wide range of titles and genres which

will be pared down to a list of fourteen presented for TH Board approval in December 2006. In turn, the membership will choose

seven titles in January 2007 to comprise the 2007-2008 Season. TH is also accepting suggestions for play-director projects from interested

directors for the committee’s consideration. Suggestions should be submitted by calling (256) 536-0807 or by contacting Play-reading

Chair Sam Marsh at [email protected].

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306

Zackary Hancock, 2nd Grade, First Baptist Child Development Center and Academy

WANTED


Continued From Page 10

M U S I C


MadisonThe Station, Jason Albert Band

DecaturThe Brick, Live Music

GuntersvilleAdrian’s, Stan & DylanBenchwarmer, Karaoke W/CraigSandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke

ScottsboroThe Docks, Trey, Kenny & Coach

FridayApril 14, 2006

801 Franklin, Live MusicAmerican Legion Post 176, Square OneBenchwarmer, Karaoke W/CraigBenchwarmer Too, KaraokeBlack Water Hattie’s, The CrawlersBobby G’s, RenderClub Ozz, Enchanted IllusionCoffeetree Books & Brew, Fred RobertsCrossroads, Todd Snider/Adam HoodEsquire Lounge, ChaosFlying Monkey Arts Center, Eyes Around, The Drownout(Atlanta) & Skware

Freddy’s, Black LabelFurniture Factory, Room 240Home Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Redd Letters-One Of The Hottest Bands In Hsv!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Free WorldKaffeeklatsch @Night, The CrawlersMoody Mondays, HDK KaraokeNikko’s, EdgarPhilby’s Pourhouse, Toy ShopSammy T’s Music Hall, U.S.Sammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Mike RobertsSports Page, Duane Walker Band

Earth Day 2006 is on April 22, 2006, now in its 36th year of commemorating the day that many historians recognize as the birth of the modern environmental movement. Organized by Gaylord Nelson, a Senator from Wisconsin who noticed that serious concern about environmental degradation were obvious everywhere, the first Earth Day drew instant attention from a wide range of citizens across the country. With help, Nelson helped organize a nationwide grassroots celebration on April 22, 1970, that eventually included more than 20 million people.

Even after 36 years, Earth Day still remains a watershed event in the environmental movement. Since its inception, interest and participation in Earth Day has only increased and spread around the world, with activities, celebrations, and events growing steadily over time and millions of concerned citizens taking part. It is now recognized as the largest non-religious holiday in the world.

In Madison County, Earth Day is annually celebrated at the J.D. and Annie S. Hays Nature Preserve, an idyllic location on the Flint River. The cool green of trees bursting into leaf, combined with the songs of migratory birds provides a peaceful backdrop for this free family event. Earth Day will begin with a birding

Earth Day 2006Hays Nature Preserve

Submitted By Susan Weberhike with Bill McAllister, professor at A&MU and a great birder (bring binocs if you have them). The hike begins promptly at 7:30 a.m. in the parking lot of the Preserve. The remainder of the events begin at 10 p.m. with Bill Cruger with an Introduction to Reptiles (Snakes and lizards—oh, my!) that kids and adults can hold. Dr. Bloom of the Alabama Zoological Park in Mentone will be bringing a baby black bear and other critters at 11:30 a.m.. From 10 until 2 p.m. EarthScope Teachers will entertain young children with environmental activities such as

Scavenger Hunt: ABC’s Among the Trees

Touch Table Game

Tree & Plant Identification - Tree Key Activity

Bat and Cave Expert: Pati Miller - talk with “Batty Miss Pati” and stamp a Bat Habitat bookmark.

In the afternoon at 1 p.m. SORBA, the local mountain biking group, will lead a Mountain Bike Tour of our REMOTE trails—where the wild things are!!! You won’t want to miss this tour.

At 1:00 there will be two guided ecotours: One in the Preserve and the other more adventurous hike in Goldsmith Schiffman Wildlife Sanctuary. At 2:30 p.m. the same two Ecotours will be offered again. The last Goldsmith Schiffman Sanctuary Tour will be guided by professional photographer Al Rudd, who will instruct camera bugs in “Shooting great nature photos” as we walk through the swamps and bottomlands.

Exhibitors from various Conservation Organizations and Earth-Friendly Vendors will be on hand. Come enjoy the natural heritage of our Earth. We have plenty of Earth Day activities for you to learn about and appreciate.

Need More Info: Go to www.huntsvillepreserves.com or call 427-5116

#041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5


M U S I CTha’ Loft, The House Of Music Dj & DanceThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Dave AndersonThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Donnie Cox & Lisa MaloneThe Warehouse, Lacey Atchison, (5-7pm) Happy Hour The Warehouse, Dan Hardin And Ron Jeffreys

Madison11th Frame Bar, Karaoke W/Jim Nelson, Female Karaoke ContestThe Station, Live Music

DecaturHard Dock Café, Blue FlameThe Brick, LaSalle

GuntersvilleAdrian’s, Bishop BlackSandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke

ScottsboroThe Docks, Arlo Gilliam, Straight Out Of Nashville!

SaturdayApril 15, 2006

801 Franklin, Johnny HayesAmerican Legion Post 176, Square OneBenchwarmer, PushBenchwarmer Too, Battle Of The Bands (5pm)Black Water Hattie’s, Live MusicBobby G’s, RenderClub Ozz, Surprise Entertainment!Coffeetree Books & Brew, Open Mic NightCoppertop, Live MusicCrossroads, Memphis Blues Orchestra, (Am Idol’s Taylor Hick’s Band)Esquire Lounge, ChaosFreddy’s, Blood RiverFurniture Factory, Scratch BandHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Marge Loveday-Best Of The Valley’s Female Singer Of The 2005!!!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Pla’ StationKaffeeklatsch @Night, The VictrolasNikko’s, GemPhilby’s Pourhouse, 5 O’clock CharliePinhook Creek Yacht Club, Pete, Stacey & RobinSammy T’s Music Hall, 17th FloorSports Page, Bone DryTha’ Loft, The Stock Market Crash & Dorean LivesThe Corner (Bailey Cove), James IrvingThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Live MusicThe Warehouse, Jerry Fordham

Madison11th Frame Bar, Karaoke W/Jim Nelson, Male Karaoke ContestThe Station, None The Weiser

DecaturHard Dock Café, Big Daddy KingfishThe Brick, Benefit For Toys For Tots/Bishop Black & Tucos Pistol

GuntersvilleAdrian’s, Mason ReedSandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke

ScottsboroThe Docks, Arlo Gilliam, Straight Out Of Nashville!

SundayApril 16, 2006

Benchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeClub Ozz, Enchanted IllusionCoppertop, The CrawlersCrossroads, Bytchwater/Ho-AgFreddy’s, KaraokeHopper’s, Brunch W/Edgar And Evening With Janice’s KaraokeKaffeeklatsch @Night, Blues JamSports Page, Tunes KaraokeTha’ Loft, Open Mic NightThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Sunday Evening Jam Sessions With Scott Morgan

MondayApril 17, 2006

Benchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeCrossroads, Open Mic NightFreddy’s, Band Audition NightHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night, (Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Lacey AtchisonKaffeeklatsch @Night, Acoustic Showcase/Open Mic Sports Page, Tunes Karaoke ContestThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Dave AndersonThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Jerry PearsonThe Warehouse, Tim’s Krazy Karaoke

GuntersvilleSandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke

TuesdayApril 18, 2006

3rd Base Grill, DJ w/Live TriviaBenchwarmer, Karaoke W/Craig Benchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeCoppertop, HDK “Jackpot” KaraokeCrossroads, Toy ShopHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night, (Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Hopper’s, Janice’s KaraokeHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Jim CavenderPhilby’s Pourhouse, Mike RobertsSports Page, Tunes KaraokeThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Scott MorganThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Ben Trussell

GuntersvilleSandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke Contest

Anyone who has ever been around my group of friends knows that we try to support

local businesses as much as possible. By that, I mean we work with and for our friends and neighbors, we buy our sustenance from historic grocery stores and support our neighborhood restaurants, bars and music venues.

Now that’s not to say that you won’t spot me at Costco, Target or Kroger ... it just means that I am uber-conscious of where and how I spend my money. I would estimate that about 80% of my hard-earned consumer dollars support local merchants. And I would bet that most of my friends are around that percentage, as well.

With this and future articles I hope to highlight all different types of locally owned r e t a i l shops,

restaurants, b a r s , entertainment centers, and c o m m e r c i a l businesses. Why? Because we live in a world where kids go in stores like Wally World and think that everything they could ever imagine, dream of, or wish for is there.... all made by little elves in a far-off magical place called China.

Of course, I think it’s best to go ahead and get a few of my favorites out of the way...

Groceries: Garden Cove - I believe that they have the best organic fruits and vegetables in the area. Their bulk spices, pastas, nuts, grains, and granola are out of this world. The selection of natural health and beauty products is unsurpassed in quality and quantity!(corner Meridian/Pratt)

Restaurants : WildRose Cafe - Diane cooks the best down-home comfort food. All sorts frequent this downtown favorite - judges, attorneys, brew masters, residents of Russell Erskine, etc. And you never know what you’ll hear sitting at the counter (usually it’s long-time employee, Rick, telling someone to kiss

his ass). This place and the people who work there make me smile - always!www.wildrosecafe.net(downtown on the North side of the Square)

Arts and Entertainment:The Flying Monkey Arts Center @ Lowe Mill- an art center and venue dedicated to freedom of expression. There are some all-ages events ... but most are geared toward more mature audiences. Not only does the Monkey house the live art/music venue, but it

also has numerous artist studios, a theatre troupe, a martial arts

center, an all-women run retail shop, the recyclery

(used clothes) and the most awesome lending

library EVER!www.flying

monkeyarts.org(West on

G o v e r n o r ’s off the

p a r k w a y - then

left on

Seminole) And on a side

note ... can’t leave out....

Coffee:Kaffeeklatsch coffee, of course.

Where else can you get fresh-roasted coffee and incredible loose teas? Grant and Kathy are celebrating their 30th year in business. If you haven’t tried it ... I strongly recommend it! You will convert!www.kaffeeklatsch.com(downtown - corner of Jefferson and Clinton)

So there ya go ... a list of some of my most favorite local businesses. I hope you will visit them ... in the future please watch the Planet for articles on more local businesses and ways that you can support your community. Know of a locally owned business that should be included in an article? Contact the Planet. We’ll try and get them in. Thanks for your time!

KEEP IT LOCAL!By Tina Rochester

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306


M U S I CContinued on Page 11


WednesdayApril 19, 2006

3rd Base Grill, Mike & GabeAmerican Legion Post 176, HDK “Jackpot” KaraokeBenchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeCoffeetree Books & Brew, Songwriter’s Open Mic NightCrossroads, Dave AndersonFreddy’s, KaraokeFurniture Factory, Brand OakleyHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night, (Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, The NightburnersNikko’s, EdgarPhilby’s Pourhouse, Ben TrussellSammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Patio Party W/Live MusicSports Page, Pla’ StationThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Ben TrussellThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Reese RushtonThe Warehouse, Marge Loveday, (5-7pm)Happy Hour

MadisonThe Station, 5 O’clock Charlie

DecaturThe Brick, Tim Tucker



3rd Base Grill, EdgarBenchwarmer, Karaoke W/CraigBenchwarmer Too, Karaoke ContestBlack Water Hattie’s, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeCoppertop, Southern Rock 3Crossroads, SandiaFreddy’s, Pla’ StationHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night, (Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, The NightburnersKaffeeklatsch @Night, Dave AndersonPhilby’s Pourhouse, Toy ShopSammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Bike Night W/The Rocket ScientistsSports Page, 5 O’Clock CharlieThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Marge LovedayThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Lacey AtchisonThe Warehouse, Tom Cremeens

MadisonThe Station, Noel Webster

DecaturThe Brick, Ahead Of The Wake

GuntersvilleAdrian’s, Duane WalkerSandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke



801 Franklin, Live MusicAmerican Legion Post 176, Square OneBenchwarmer, The CrawlersBenchwarmer Too, KaraokeBlack Water Hattie’s, Electric VoodooBobby G’s, Live MusicClub Ozz, Enchanted IllusionCoffeetree Books & Brew, Maple Hill Crossroads, Daikaiju/The Liberty CapsEsquire Lounge, ChaosFreddy’s, BlacklandFurniture Factory, Scratch BandHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Pla’ Station-Come Get Your Funk On!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, The FiddlewormsKaffeeklatsch @Night, The Willie Nelson Impersonation Night, (Music And Gas)Moody Mondays, HDK KaraokeNikko’s, EdgarOlde Towne Coffee Shoppe, Billy C. FarlowPhilby’s Pourhouse, Booga FunkSammy T’s Music Hall, Live MusicSammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Mike RobertsSports Page, Big Daddy KingfishTha’ Loft, Lakota, Big City Dreams & One Must Fall(7pm)Tha’ Loft, The House Of Music DJ & Dance(10pm)The Corner (Bailey Cove), Dave AndersonThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Live MusicThe Warehouse, Lacey Atchison, (5-7pm) Happy Hour The Warehouse, Marge Loveday

Madison11th Frame Bar, Karaoke W/Jim Nelson, Female Karaoke ContestThe Station, Blackeyed Susan

DecaturHard Dock Café, Hot MixxThe Brick, Kevin Purcell & The Night Burners

GuntersvilleAdrian’s, Live MusicSandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke

ScottsboroThe Docks, Tony Brooks Band


801 Franklin, JazzanovaAmerican Legion Post 176, Square OneBenchwarmer, E Z Axcess

Benchwarmer Too, Government WarningBlack Water Hattie’s, Live MusicBobby G’s, Live MusicClub Ozz, Surprise Entertainment!Coffeetree Books & Brew, Open Mic NightCoppertop, The JammersCrossroads, Lasalle/Stars BelowEsquire Lounge, ChaosFreddy’s, Redd LettersFurniture Factory, Anita PalmerHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, DJ Azucar-This Ethnic Mix Master Will Drive You Wild!!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Kozmic MamaKaffeeklatsch @Night, Marge LovedayNikko’s, GemPhilby’s Pourhouse, Live MusicPinhook Creek Yacht Club, Pete, Stacey & RobinSammy T’s Music Hall, Appetite For DestructionSports Page, LipstickTha’ Loft, The Garden District, Cavalier & On My HonorThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Donnie Cox & Lisa MaloneThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Dave AndersonThe Warehouse, Scott Morgan

Madison11th Frame Bar, Karaoke W/Jim Nelson, Male Karaoke ContestThe Station, Blame Johnny

DecaturHard Dock Café, Hot Rod OtisThe Brick, The Crawlers

GuntersvilleAdrian’s, Sister LuckSandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke

ScottsboroThe Docks, Kenny & Trey


Benchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeClub Ozz, Enchanted IllusionCoppertop, The CrawlersCrossroads, Live Music

#041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5



M U S I CFlying Monkey Arts Center, Newt Johnson Quartet, (Jazz At It’s Best!)Freddy’s, KaraokeHopper’s, Brunch W/Edgar And Evening With Janice’s KaraokeJudge Crater’s, Dixie Derby Girls Post Game Party W/Pine Hill HanksKaffeeklatsch @Night, Blues JamSports Page, Tunes KaraokeTha’ Loft, Open Mic NightThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Sunday Evening Jam Sessions With Scott Morgan

MondayApril 24, 2006

Benchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeCrossroads, Open Mic NightFreddy’s, Band Audition NightHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night,(Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Scott MorganKaffeeklatsch @Night, Acoustic Showcase/Open Mic Sports Page, Tunes Karaoke ContestThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Dave AndersonThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Jerry PearsonThe Warehouse, Tim’s Krazy Karaoke


TuesdayApril 25, 2006

3rd Base Grill, DJ W/Live TriviaBenchwarmer, Karaoke W/Craig Benchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeCoppertop, HDK “Jackpot” KaraokeCrossroads, Toy ShopHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night, (Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Hopper’s, Janice’s KaraokeHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Roger “Hurricane” Wilson, (Solo)Philby’s Pourhouse, Mike RobertsSports Page, Tunes KaraokeTha’ Loft, A Night Of AcousticsThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Scott MorganThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Ben Trussell


WednesdayApril 26, 2006

3rd Base Grill, Mike & GabeAmerican Legion Post 176, HDK “Jackpot” KaraokeBenchwarmer Too, Male RevueBobby G’s, KaraokeCoffeetree Books & Brew, Songwriter’s Open Mic NightCrossroads, Dave AndersonFreddy’s, Karaoke

Bike Night on Thursdays at Sammy’s Steakhouse

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306



2005

Furniture Factory, Rockin’ Acoustic DuoHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night, (Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Roger “Hurricane” Wilson BandNikko’s, EdgarPhilby’s Pourhouse, Donnie CoxSammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Patio Party W/5 O’Clock CharlieSports Page, Pla’ StationThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Ben TrussellThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Marge LovedayThe Warehouse, Marge Loveday, (5-7pm)Happy Hour

MadisonThe Station, Kozmic Mama

DecaturThe Brick, Anderain



3rd Base Grill, EdgarBenchwarmer, Karaoke W/CraigBenchwarmer Too, Karaoke ContestBlack Water Hattie’s, KaraokeBobby G’s, Karaoke

Coppertop, Southern Rock 3Crossroads, AfromanFreddy’s, Pla’ StationHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night,(Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, John Lee Hooker, Jr.Kaffeeklatsch @Night, Dave AndersonPhilby’s Pourhouse, Toy ShopSammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Bike Night W/Microwave Dave & The NukesSports Page, 5 O’Clock CharlieThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Jim CavenderThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Lacey AtchisonThe Warehouse, Tom Cremeens

MadisonThe Station, Straight Forward

DecaturThe Brick, Lanier

GuntersvilleAdrian’s, Adam HoodSandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke



801 Franklin, Live MusicAmerican Legion Post 176, Square One

Benchwarmer, Karaoke W/CraigBenchwarmer Too, KaraokeBlack Water Hattie’s, Cracker JacksBobby G’s, Voodoo DogzClub Ozz, Enchanted IllusionCoffeetree Books & Brew, Farley Drum Circle & Choir,(6pm), Weinstock(7pm)Crossroads, DubconsciousEsquire Lounge, ChaosFlying Monkey Arts Center, Walker Street OpryFreddy’s, FiddlewormsFurniture Factory, PushHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Live MusicHopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Microwave Dave & The NukesKaffeeklatsch @Night, HashbrownMoody Mondays, HDK KaraokeNikko’s, EdgarPhilby’s Pourhouse, Live MusicSammy T’s Music Hall, Brown’s CreekSammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Mike RobertsSports Page, Live MusicTha’ Loft, The House Of Music DJ & DanceThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Dave AndersonThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Jim CavenderThe Warehouse, Lacey Atchison, (5-7pm) Happy Hour The Warehouse, Chad Reeves

Madison11th Frame Bar, Karaoke W/Jim Nelson, Female Karaoke ContestThe Station, Kozmic Mama

DecaturHard Dock Café, LipstickThe Brick, Toy Shop


ScottsboroThe Docks, Big Nose Roy Band


801 Franklin, Johnny HayesAmerican Legion Post 176, Square OneBenchwarmer, Live Music

#041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5


Continued From Page 15M U S I CBenchwarmer Too, Live MusicBlack Water Hattie’s, The Bama BabezBobby G’s, Voodoo DogzClub Ozz, Surprise Entertainment!Coffeetree Books & Brew, Open Mic NightCoppertop, Jeff Stephens/PostmasterCrossroads, Rehab/Stars BelowEsquire Lounge, ChaosFreddy’s, PokerfaceFurniture Factory, LipstickHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Old Union-Original Rock & RollHopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Short BusKaffeeklatsch @Night, Glen & LibbaNikko’s, GemPhilby’s Pourhouse, 4 Door RamblersPinhook Creek Yacht Club, Pete, Stacey & RobinSports Page, Live MusicThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Lynch And CannonThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Live MusicThe Warehouse, Dan Hardin And Ron Jeffreys

Madison11th Frame Bar, Karaoke W/Jim Nelson, Male Karaoke ContestThe Station, Push

DecaturHard Dock Café, Bookem DanoThe Brick, 3 Hour Tour


ScottsboroThe Docks, Big Nose Roy Band


Benchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeClub Ozz, Enchanted IllusionCoppertop, The CrawlersCrossroads, Live MusicFreddy’s, KaraokeHopper’s, Brunch W/Edgar And Evening With Janice’s KaraokeKaffeeklatsch @Night, Blues JamSports Page, Tunes KaraokeTha’ Loft, Open Mic NightThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Sunday Evening Jam Sessions With Scott Morgan

MondayMay 1, 2006

Benchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeFreddy’s, Band Audition NightHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night, (Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Humphrey’s Bar & Grill, Jim CavenderKaffeeklatsch @Night, Acoustic Showcase/Open Mic Sports Page, Tunes Karaoke ContestThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Dave AndersonThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Jerry PearsonThe Warehouse, Tim’s Krazy Karaoke


TuesdayMay 2, 2006

3rd Base Grill, DJ W/Live TriviaBenchwarmer, Karaoke W/Craig Benchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeCoppertop, HDK “Jackpot” KaraokeHome Port Int’l Bar &

Deli, Double Open Mic Night(Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Hopper’s, Janice’s KaraokeHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Rachel LoyPhilby’s Pourhouse, Mike RobertsSports Page, Tunes KaraokeThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Irish Evening With Maple Hill BandThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Ben Trussell


WednesdayMay 3, 2006

3rd Base Grill, Mike & GabeAmerican Legion Post 176, Hdk “Jackpot” KaraokeBenchwarmer Too, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeCoffeetree Books & Brew, Songwriter’s Open Mic NightFreddy’s, KaraokeFurniture Factory, Scratch BandHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night,(Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Ron Jeffries & Dan HardinNikko’s, EdgarPhilby’s Pourhouse, Ben TrussellSammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Patio Party W/Live MusicSports Page, Pla’ StationThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Ben TrussellThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Reese RushtonThe Warehouse, Marge Loveday,(5-7pm)Happy Hour

DecaturThe Brick, Tim Tucker


ThursdayMay 4, 2006

3rd Base Grill, EdgarBenchwarmer, Karaoke W/CraigBenchwarmer Too, Karaoke ContestBlack Water Hattie’s, KaraokeBobby G’s, KaraokeCoppertop, Southern Rock 3Flying Monkey Arts Center, Old Time RelijunFreddy’s, Pla’ StationHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Double Open Mic Night, (Musicians, Poets, Comedians All Are Welcome!Hopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Absylom RisingKaffeeklatsch @Night, Dave AndersonNikko’s, Larry WoellhartPhilby’s Pourhouse, Toy ShopSammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Bike Night W/Live MusicSports Page, 5 O’clock CharlieThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Marge LovedayThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Lacey AtchisonThe Warehouse, Tom Cremeens

DecaturThe Brick, Jamie Woods And Preston Grammer



FridayMay 5, 2006

801 Franklin, Live MusicAmerican Legion Post 176, Square OneBenchwarmer, Karaoke W/CraigBenchwarmer Too, KaraokeBlack Water Hattie’s, Hot Rod OtisBobby G’s, Second Hand LincolnClub Ozz, Enchanted IllusionCoffeetree Books & Brew, Fred RobertsEsquire Lounge, ChaosFlying Monkey Arts Center, Emporer XFreddy’s, Return Of Red Clay AddictionFurniture Factory, Live MusicHome Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Live MusicHopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Governor Davis & The Blues AmbassadorsJudge Crater’s, Cinco De Mayo Party W/Ben Trussell And Micheal ClineKaffeeklatsch @Night, Cinco De Mayo PartyMoody Mondays, HDK KaraokeNikko’s, EdgarPhilby’s Pourhouse, Toy Shop

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306


Calling all Poets!

If you would like to submit your poetry

or prose please email as an attachment to

[email protected]

Sammy’s Sports Bar & Steakhouse, Mike RobertsSports Page, Duane Walker BandTha’ Loft, The House Of Music DJ & DanceThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Dave AndersonThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Lisa BuslerThe Warehouse, Lacey Atchison, (5-7pm) Happy Hour The Warehouse, Live Music

Madison11th Frame Bar, Karaoke W/Jim Nelson, Female Karaoke Contest

DecaturHard Dock Café, Big Daddy KingfishThe Brick, Runaway Coaltrain

GuntersvilleAdrian’s, Wasted MasonSandy’s Roadhouse, Karaoke


SaturdayMay 6, 2006

801 Franklin, Live MusicAmerican Legion Post 176, Square OneBenchwarmer, Government WarningBenchwarmer Too, Blame JohnnyBlack Water Hattie’s, The CrawlersBobby G’s, Second Hand LincolnClub Ozz, Surprise Entertainment!Coffeetree Books & Brew, Open Mic NightCoppertop, 4 Door RamblersEsquire Lounge, ChaosFlying Monkey Arts Center, The Queers, The Counter ClockwiseFreddy’s, Redd LettersFurniture Factory, GP-38Home Port Int’l Bar & Deli, Live MusicHopper’s, Rudy Mockabee And The Music FactoryHumphrey’s Bar & Grill, Governor Davis & The Blues AmbassadorsKaffeeklatsch @Night, Chris Cotton Blues From Memphis, TNNikko’s, GemPhilby’s Pourhouse, Live MusicPinhook Creek Yacht Club, Pete, Stacey & RobinSammy T’s Music Hall, Poptart MonkeesTha’ Loft, Live MusicThe Corner (Bailey Cove), Lisa BuslerThe Corner (Hampton Cove), Dave AndersonThe Warehouse, Live Music

Madison11th Frame Bar, Karaoke W/Jim Nelson, Male Karaoke Contest

DecaturHard Dock Café, Room 240The Brick, 5 O’Clock Charlie

It’s that time again. Time to support the arts. Time to support local. Time to go to Panoply. The weekend

festival is in Big Spring Park April 28. 29, and 30.

One of the highlights this year will be the good number of street performers. Who will be here? Glad you asked.

Let’s see. There’s Richard Johnston. He’s gonna be at the corner of Monroe near the parking garage all weekend. Johnston is a street performer from Memphis. Spectators will be delighted to watch him play his guitar—it’s a bit different from most. He makes his own guitars......out of cigar boxes! Huntsville will be glad to get him, as he has been considered the most recognized street musician in the U.S. (A friend of mine just said yesterday “Richard Johnston’s going to be there? Oh, now I have to go.”) Johnston’s debut album “Foot Hill Stomp” (an independent release) is a top seller.

Be nice to the statues around Panoply. One of them might be alive. Yes, that’s what I said. Michelle Harrell will be entertaining folks with her talents. Two words: human statue. She’s been performing since 1994, starting in San Francisco. There she was performing

a Living Doll character for various special events. She then studied dance and movement under Emilio Artesero Quesada in Switzerland. She performs solo as “Statue Viva” nationwide. So be warned, I know there’s usually an abundance of sidewalk chalk at Panoply, but if you try to graffiti the statues, one of them may take your chalk away from you!

The Arts Council hosted a talent contest, the Homegrown EXTREME Talent Contest to be exact. They were looking for local talent: strolling theatrical skits, storytellers, sidewalk musicians, gymnasts, contortionists, even mimes. (To be honest, I was pulling for contortionist mimes, so we can see exactly how small the invisible box can get). (All G-rated or family friendly of course).

I attended the contest in a last minute effort to get the story, like a good little reporter should. It was past deadline, but I got the names, yelled “stop the presses!” and submitted them just for you, the reader. Okay, that didn’t really happen as such, but I can tell you who the performers are.

The Acoustamaniacs – a strolling guitar duoPatrick Perdue – break-dancerAnthony Hulsey – 12 year old dulcimer playerShawn Webster and Rita Burkholder – percussion and accordionAlex Worlund - singer

The street performers will be roving, like troubadours. They’ll wander and..... do whatever it is they do, be it sing, tell stories, dance, play music.

Enjoy the antics of the street performer. Learn from the wandering artist because as J.R.R. Tolkien said “Not all who wander are lost.”

Panoply of the Arts: Taking it to the Street

By Tina Leach

#041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5

Walker Street Opry at the

Flying MonkeyBy Jennifer Roberts

Walker Street Opry, a Huntsville-based bluegrass band, is coming to the Flying

Monkey Friday, April 28. The show starts at 8 pm. Tickets are $5.

“The Walker Street Opry bluegrass band consists of anywhere from zero to 2.89E23 musicians from all walks of life,” proclaims the band’s web site. “However, they do share a common love of bluegrass music and...puppies...ok, mostly puppies.” Although the band claims to “cycle” in musicians, “flushing” them out routinely, they have a core of musicians that includes guitarist and lead vocalist Rick Taylor, multi-instrumentalist Phil Easterbrook, lead guitarist Blaine Anderson, mandolinist Tony Robertson, and bassist Allan Sparkman. Taylor has appeared on CMT’s Most Wanted and TNN’s New Country. He toured with Grammy-winner Clair Lynch from the spring of 2003 to 2005, playing bass and singing harmony. Colorado native Easterbrook has been playing bluegrass festivals and concerts across the Rocky Mountain region and the west since 1978. Blaine, the one who supposedly “instigated” the group, is said to be a member of the Huntsville Traditional Music Association (HTMA) as well as the Society for the Preservation of the Leisure Suit In America (SPLSIA). Robertson claims to be a retired circus performer who chases cars in his spare time. Judging by his bio, Sparkman is clearly a deviant. According to the HTMA’s web site, “While all the Walker Street Opry members are talented musicians and only occasionally play while totally inebriated, they are currently all blessed with day jobs, so audiences will not be exposed to the lean and hungry look or find the band supporting the arts from the cover of I-565 overpasses. It is huge fun listening to Rick and Phil wail into two or three bluegrass songs in a row about murder and mayhem and then lighten up into a transition into their trademark rendition of Utah Phillips’ Rock Salt and Nails.” What are critics saying about the Walker Street Opry? According to the band, the word is that “this band is really nice. Kind of like...a puppy.” For more information, follow the calendar link at www.flyingmonkeyarts.org. The Flying Monkey is located at Lowe Mill, 2211 Seminole Drive.


Calendar of EventsApril 13 - May 4, 2006

Continued Page 20

Through April 30YAM 2006, Youth Art Month opens at the Huntsville Museum of Art. From 2-4pm Artist Demonstration by Chuck Long, Linda Ruhl, Robert Bean and S. Renee Prasil. As part of the Museum’s Community Free Day program, admission will be waived to all visitors on opening day.

Through July 23The Huntsville Museum of Art’s “View of the Collection: Art Tells a Story. The HMA is located on Church St. For more information contact the Museum at 535-4350.

Through January 21, 2007A Silver Menagerie: The Betty Grisham Collection of Buccellati Silver Animals opens at the

Huntsville Museum of Art on Church St.

April 13ROMEO’S dinner at the Coffeetree Books and Brew, across from Grissom High at 6pm.

April 13Bike Night sponsored by KC’s Powersports and Rocket City Powersports at Sammy’s Sportsbar and Steakhouse. All motorcycle riders age 19 years of age and older are invited to this free event. Join us from 7pm to 9pm for prizes, food specials and fun. For more information, contact Jill at 256-650-1177.

April 13The library will host a series of evening concerts exploring our city’s musical past. Concerts begin at 6pm with free admission. For more info contact the Huntsville Public Library at 532-5975.

April 15Hike Monte Sano’s Old Railroad Bed Trail with hike leader David Young. This modest 1 1/2 mile hike will

follow the same path as the steam locomotive that traveled from the Huntsville Depot to the Monte Sano Hotel from 1888 until 1896.

April 15Zydeco Dance lessons at UAH from 1-3pm. Contact Dave Roberts at 256-858-5841 for more info or go to www.uah.edu/danceclub.

April 15Special Contra Dance-Live music by Avant Gardeners of Fredricksburg, VA with Calling by Beth Molaro of Asheville. All ages welcome. 7:30-10:30 pm. Admission $8.00/$5.00 students. In gym of Faith Presbyterian, corner of Airport Rd. & Whitesburg Dr. For more info. call 837-0656.

April 15 & 16The Huntsville Botanical Gardens most popular event the annual Bonsai Show at the garden on Bob Wallace Ave from 9am-5pm and Sun 1-5pm.

April 17Huntsville Chess Club meets at Coffeetree Books and Brew, across

Dining with friends: left to right-Melissa Lloyd (Co Chairman of DWF), RayFambrough (Dessert Host), Mary Elizabeth Marr (Director of AAC), AnthonyNicholson (Chairman of DWF), Peggy Fambrough (Dessert Host).

Dining With FriendsThe AIDS Action Coalition is busy planning our eighth annual Dining With Friends event. This is AAC’s largest fundraiser of the year and the best party in town. Last year $75,000 was raised and we are hoping for an even bigger event this year. It is not too late to get involved. Dinner parties are held on or near May 6. Dinner party hosts provide dinner for their guests and each attendee donates a suggested donation of $50.00. All dinner guests are able to attend a Dessert Reception with champange and chocolate desserts. The evening will also feature live entertainment and a silent as well as live auction. If you are interested in knowing how you can be involved with Dining With Friends please call the AIDS Action Coalition and speak to Mary Elizabeth Marr at 536-4700 or call Anthony Nicholson at 651-1748.

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306


Calendar Continued From Page 17

DR ANARCHO’sRx for Old Stuff That Don’t Suck

dranarch

o@valleyp

lanet.co

m

SPOTLIGHT ON MUSIC

As God said to Moses, “Okay, get out your tablets, we’re having a pop quiz.”

A pencil and paper will do if you’re not a stoner – you know, one of those people that write on rock tablets, like Fred Flintstone.

You may or may not have heard the classic old question, but I’m asking all of you music lovers right now: “What 10 CDs would you carry if you knew you were going to spend the rest of your life on a desert island?”

Think about this seriously now. This is the music you think you will never tire of, music that will stand the test of time.

Your Valley Planet and Dr. A would like hear from you, and see your lists, just out of curiosity. The reader with the best list gets a free Valley Planet.

Before you start, let me say that if you even consider the likes of Britney Spears, Destiny’s Child, Ashlee Simpson, Beyonce, The Black Eyed Peas, Kelly Clarkson, Kanye West, or any hip-hop, rap or form of crotch-grabbing, DJ-scratching--whicka-whicka -baboomba-car-jumping s**t, drop your pencils now. This test is not for you.

Why? Because you are a musical moron and should get back to your w_______ off and pimple cream; these lists are for music lovers only.

There. That cleared about half of them out. Now, let’s eliminate 75% of the group that remains.

Drop your pencils if you regularly watch that no-talent show called American Idol.

Why? Because you are a musical moron and should get back to your w_______ off and ice cream; these lists are for music lovers only.

I know people, people I thought had good sense, people I once liked and respected, that freely admit, in public no less, that they watch American Idol.

If that’s one of TV’s top-rated shows, the long-feared, dumbing-down of this country isn’t happening – it has already happened.

Okay, for the twelve people who remain at this point, get ready, set. GO.

Dr. Anarcho’s Rx For Old Stuff That Don’t Suck for this issue is (for the first time a DVD): Pink Floyd - The Wall 25th A n n i v e r s a r y (Deluxe Edition) (1982).

That’s right, a DVD.

Although, I fully believe Real music started dying for the masses with the rise of videos. I’m not saying that there’s anything inherently wrong, or bad about music videos, I’m saying that for a couple of generations now, how music looks has become more important than how it sounds. What’s wrong with this picture?

“The Wall” soundtrack was remastered from the original master tapes. If you’ve never heard The Wall on a surround sound system, you are in for a big surprise. At times, I heard instruments and nuances that I did not hear on the album.

For the tekkies among us, you have a choice of 5.1 surround and PCM stereo surround. (TECHNICAL NOTE-

If your DVD player has 3D sound enhancement, you must turn this off for this disc.)

Additionally, the DVD gives you specific sound tests and directions on volume and surround elements, kind of like the THX optimode on other discs. They want you to enjoy it in all of its remastered glory.

Another nice touch, you also have a choice to watch the film with the song lyrics below the picture. Let’s face it, there are times in the original

“Wall” album that I could not figure out exactly what they were saying, like when the helicopter flies in, closer and louder and louder until someone screams “you! yes, you! stand still laddy!”

If possible, watch the film in high definition. It made the transfer from standard def to HD better than most films. The images are sharp, the clarity great, and the colors are saturated.

Don’t stand still, laddies. You may rent this DVD, or buy it used at Amazon.com for about ten bucks. It’s a must for every Pink Floyd fan.

And one of my desert island picks.

#041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5


Steve Moulton hosts The Pressbox every weekday afternoon from 3 to 5 p.m. on ESPN 1400 in Decatur, Ala. You can email him at [email protected].

If you have an event that you would like for us to list, send information to [email protected]


Today baseball and steroids are synonymous with each other. It’s a match made from hell.

Well either hell or BALCO? From Jose Canceso to Mark McGwire to Sammy Sosa to Rafael Palermo to yes even Barry Bonds. So what caused Officer Barney Fife, I mean Bud Selig who is now launching an investigation about steroids? Was it Canceso’s Book “Juiced” that started the investigation? Was it “Game of Shadows”? If you really want to examine the facts of why Bud did this then let’s go back to

Nip it in the Bud, sort ofBy Steve Moulton

1994. It was the year that the baseball players association decided to take half of a year off. 1994 Strike shortened season. 1995 God Bless Cal Ripken Jr. and the Atlanta Braves. 1996 The “New” New York Yankees. 1997 The Florida Marlins. 1998 The Home Run Chase. It’s credited as the one event that recaptured the American Sports Fan to the game of baseball. Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire were neck and neck back and fourth, gunning for 61*. All the “experts” at the time said, “Pitching is just watered down,” or,” There’s

no way they can keep up this pace.” Oh how wrong those experts were? (Probably about as wrong as the experts who picked the final four this year.) The chase for the home run record is the one record that baseball fans and writers covet the most. This was only part of the reason for the investigation. The names, Hank Aaron and Babe Ruth hold a different meaning to the game of baseball. Now we get Bud and his crew to investigate steroids in baseball. Having Bud on your tail is like hearing a threat from a professional wrestler talking to “Mean” Gene before the event, or an honest politician. Maybe the comparison to Officer Fyfe is unfair. After all Barney had at least one bullet at his disposal. All we have from Bud is a tie in the All-Star Game. Now more than ever baseball needs a Kennesaw Mountain Landis. We need a strong Commissioner to cut ties to any kind of cheating. Will it happen? No. This age in which we live is not about right from wrong it’s about other things mainly doe ray me. This is another reason for the investigation. After all I am sure that the Commissioner of Baseball set up this committee to take himself down, right? It would be like hearing Lawrence Welk trying to rap. It just doesn’t make any sense, but then again not much about baseball has made sense over the last five years. Although I must say hearing Pete Rose come out against steroids certainly makes me rethink my whole position. After all if you’re

on the same side of an argument with Pete Rose in the game of baseball that’s like the KKK backing you in a regular argument.

With that aside, ultimately the real reason that the Commissioner of Baseball decided to investigate steroids in baseball is simple. It’s for the purity of the game! (Sorry I couldn’t help myself, just kidding) The real reason is this: Bank of America Corp., one of major league baseball’s 18 national sponsors, said earlier this month that it won’t be part of any advertising campaign celebrating a career home run record by Barry Bonds because of steroid allegations. Roger Adams, Home Depot Inc. senior vice president for marketing said the company would not be part of a celebration unless an investigation shows that Bonds didn’t use steroids. PepsiCo Inc., another national baseball sponsor, would recognize Bonds eclipsing Aaron in a “muted way,” said North America President Dawn Hudson. If Barry Bonds were more of a people person I don’t think baseball would be in as big of a mess. And this is all because that egomaniac wants to hit 756 home runs. Bottom line is sponsors don’t like you, I don’t like you, and you will never be known for anything else except the poster child of baseball’s biggest black eye since 1919. Well, that and not being able to throw out Sid Bream at home plate, Thanks. Go Braves!

from Grissom on Bailey Cove. Open to all ages, come and play, learn from experts 6-10pm.

April 18North Alabama Woodcarvers Association will be meeting at Coffeetree Books and Brew every Wednesday at 6:00pm. Come whittle with us!


April 20Salsa in Spring Art Party at the Huntsville Museum of Art. We will have free dance lessons from 5-6pm and Mambo Gris Gris band from 6-8pm. Free food and cash bar. $1- admission for non-members $8 in advance. 535-4350 x208.

April 21

The Principle Family Fun Fest at the Huntsville Stars game beginning at 4pm. Come see the most extensive traveling baseball festival in history completely free! There will be about 20 baseball themed attractions including a museum. This all before the Huntsville Stars take on the Mobil Bay Bears at 7pm at Joe Davis Stadium.

April 21HSO Guild’s Crescen-Dough Auction to be held at the VBC beginning at 5:30pm. This year’s theme is “Viva Hunts Vegas!”. Tickets include dinner and entertainment. For ticket iformation or invitation contact Becky at 256-539-4818.

April 2125th Black Maria Film and Video Festival begins at 7pm at the Huntsville Museum of Art. Admission is $7 and $5 for Co-op members. A post-viewing reception will be held at 9:30pm for the festival director and filmmakers at the Burning Nun Book Store, 2nd Floor of the Flying Monkey Arts Center on Seminole Dr.

April 22Shred-it, Crime Stoppers USA and Wal-Mart are joining forces to help Americans combat identity theft by

hosting Community Shred events across the country throughout the month of April. Community members are invited to attend the event, part of the world’s largest Community Shred campaign taking place at more than 200 Wal-Mart stores.

April 22Dance workshop to be held at Dublin Park from 4:30-6:30. For more info contactContact Dave Roberts at 256-858-5841.

April 22Earth Day at Hays Nature Preserve- Come enjoy the natural heritage of our earth. We have plenty of Earth Day activities for you to learn about & appreciate. Exhibitors from various conservation organizations & earth-friendly vendors will be on hand. Begins at 10am with a birding hike at 7am. Free Admission.

April 23The Huntsville volunteers for Americans for Fair Taxation will hold theirmonthly meeting at 2pm at the Huntsville Public Library.

April 23The Dixie Derby Girls “1st Grudge Match” to be held at the Family

Skate Center on Arcadia Cir. The Dixie Derby Girls will be going up against B’ham’s Tragic City Rollers with the doors opening up at 6:30pm. Admission is $10 and there will be a half-time show with The Wednesday’s from Florence. Skating and Mayhem you don’t want to miss.

April 24Huntsville Chess Club meets at Coffeetree Books and Brew, across from Grissom on Bailey Cove. Open to all ages, come and play, learn from experts 6-10pm.

April 24-28Folk Festival week at the Alabama Constitution Village. Alabama’s birthplace comes to life as you’ve never seen before. Hands-on demonstrations & appearances by famous figures from America’s past lead to a fun & educational visit. Admission Charged.

April 23- June 18Richard Jolley; Sculptor of Glass-this is the first retrospective exhibition of this Southern artist who is America’s foremost figurative sculptor of glass.

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306



E V E N T S

SINGLE & FABULOUSIn the Rocket CityBy Fifi Boudeaux

Continued Page 22

In many situations, age is meaningful: Age of Aquarius, aged wine, Rock of Ages, haven’t seen

you in ages… But does age really matter in relationships? After a flurry of attention from gentlemen 12 to 15 years her junior, Fifi began to ponder the age-ranges of dating and how they affect relationships. If you were playing the “Range Game” on the Price is Right and wanted to shade in an acceptable dating age range, when would you press the button?

Dating older works for some, look at Anna Nicole Smith. She married a man 60 years older and people have the audacity to say she did it for money. We sincere ladies know it was all because 1) he called her back, 2) he never cheated, and 3) he had good reasons for not listening to her or remembering what she said. For Fifi, dating older has not worked so famously (nor so richly)…

From experience file #14, Fifi will recount a relationship with “Daddy Warbucks”* (* not his real name). Daddy Warbucks was 18 years older than Fifi. In the beginning, all was well. A well educated academic genius, Daddy Warbucks and Fifi found sports, travel, and dancing in common. Slowly,

Shades of Agethe age factor began to appear, and it was much more serious than fine lines and wrinkles. After two months of dating on a trip to NYC, Daddy Warbucks flashed back to where he was in high school the day President Kennedy was assassinated. OK, Fifi had not entered the earth yet, much less the world of fashion. All Fifi could recall at that moment was the day J.F.K. Jr.’s plane was found, and tried to empathize. A few weeks later, Daddy Warbucks happened to see a photo of Fifi’s mother. “Who’s that?” he asked with interest. Aaaaaaaaaaagh! That’s my MOTHER! That’s when the time machine smacked into Fifi’s Estee’ Lauder post- applied foundation. Daddy Warbucks was only 5 years younger than Fifi’s mother, the lady who had given birth to her at the same time that Daddy Warbucks was in High School. That thought sent any sort of passion packing a big bag. The final damning situation: Daddy Warbucks began pressuring Fifi to move in with him and dropping hints that he was ready to retire. Whoa! Take off the pumps and put on the track shoes, Fifi’s going for a

run! There is not a strong enough word to describe how over that relationship was. Fifi’s goals in life did not include ‘caregiver for elderly boyfriend’.

On the other end of the relationship spectrum, what is the youngest acceptable dating age? (Fifi means LEGALLY, Mary Kay LeTourneau!). To put it scientifically in the Rocket City, chemistry is fabulous when the test tubes are unscathed. But if it’s more your after, deep conversation and spiritual connection may not exist

unless your both into X Box, skateboarding, and shopping

at Aeropostal. Reportedly there have been sightings of HYP event attendees; polished and professional, with great dating potential. If you go for that, be mindful that your time lines may be different and reference points disturbed. Ten years younger than you translates that you were in the 5th grade

when your P.O.I. was born, Fifteen years

younger and you were a sophomore in high

school during P.O.I.’s birth. Will P.O.I. know of Sonny and

Cher? Have seen “The Monkees” outside of reruns? Been a member of “The Archies” fan club? Remember President Nixon’s visit to Huntsville? In turn, do you know who Maroon 5 is? Have you watched all episodes of The Real World Key West? Know what “The OC” means? Remember that Nikky Sixx from Motley Crew once appeared in court in Huntsville? See, it works both ways, Demi and Ashton! Fifi’s advice: Shade your age range carefully and if your going for the outdoor “Mountain Climber” type, catch him before he goes over the hill and falls into the Valley of the Unfabulous, and it’s Game Over.

A slide presentation will be at 2pm in the great hall.

April 25North Alabama Woodcarvers Association will be meeting at Coffeetree Books and Brew every Wednesday at 6:00pm. Come whittle with us!

April 27Writers’s Workshop - Area fiction writers meet, eat, talk and exchange ideas from story lines to topics such as self publishing or finding and signing with a publisher. All are welcome at the Coffeetree Books and Brew on Bailey Cove Rd at 7pm.


April 27

“Zan Boko” (Homeland) presented b AL A & M and The Film Co-op. The film begins at 7pm and will be shown at the JF Drake Memorial Learning Resources Center on the Campus. More info: www.filmcoop.org or 256-489-3884

April 28-30Aladdin & the Wonderful Lamp at the VBC Playhouse Fri at 7pm and 1:30-5pm on Sat and Sun. Contact the VBC Ticket office for details.

April 28The Huntsville Botanical Gardens Butterfly House opens. Butterflies will be fluttering at the Garden with the opening of the Tessman Butterfly House. Sat at 9 and Sun 1-5pm. Admission Charged.

April 29-30Spring Farm Days continues at Burritt on the Mountain with Wild Animals Around the Farm. On April 29th from 10am-4pm and April 30th from 1-4pm, Burritt on the Mountain will host a variety of wild animals that one could easily see around a farm. Snakes, owls, hawks and other exciting animals will be here for an interesting and educational weekend.

Through April 30The Clay House Museum is hosting local artist Michele Lee for an Exhibit and Sale. Museum entrance is free on the day of the sale, for more information contact Robin Hall Brewer, 256-325-1018. You can also meet the artist on Sunday April 30 from 1-3.

May 1Huntsville Chess Club meets at Coffeetree Books and Brew, across from Grissom on Bailey Cove. Open to all ages, come and play, learn from experts 6-10pm.

May 2North Alabama Woodcarvers Association will be meeting at Coffeetree Books and Brew every Wednesday at 6:00pm. Come whittle with us!

May 4Story telling night at the Coffeetree Books and Brew on Bailey Cove Rd starts at 7pm. Area Story Tellers gather and entertain with tales, some tall, some humorous and others filled with history or lessons for living.

May 4Bike Night sponsored by KC’s Powersports and Rocket City

Powersports at Sammy’s Sportsbar and Steakhouse. All motorcycle riders age 19 years of age and older are invited to this free event. Join us from 7pm to 9pm for prizes, food specials and fun. For more information, contact Jill at 256-650-1177.

May 5Monkey Speak is spoken word open mic. Readers of poetry, short stories and more are invited to participate. Admission is $5 and will be at the Flying Monkey Art Center in the Lowe Mill on Seminole Dr. *For Mature Audiences

May 5-6The Renaissance Theatre presents Agatha Christie’s “The Hollow” beginning at 8pm at the Lincoln Center on Meridian St. Romance, deceit, classic Christie wit, and of course…. murder…. are sure to keep you on the edge of your seat. For more information contact the theatre at 536-3117.

May 5Jim Parker presents Songwriter’s Showcase at the VBC Playhouse. Don Henry, Steve Nelson, James Wold & opener Roger Dale. For

#041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5


Allison Gregg is an eternal optimist who has never had it so good. Email Allison at [email protected].

Continued From Page 21E V E N T S

The Men We Need

...we are people

who need people...

Men are getting a bad rap these days. Commercials make them out to be bumbling

idiots. Talk shows portray them as whores who can’t control their sexual urges. If we leave them up to their own devices, they’re likely to harm, maim, or even accidentally kill something. These images are far from the truth. Men are great – they truly are the best toys God gave women. If you play with them properly and use them to your advantage, you’ll come out ahead. I’ve seen the list of five men every woman should have, I’ve got a different take on it. In no particular order, they are:

The one who loves you unconditionally: Nearly seven years ago I met the man who plays this role in my life. He is the only person that gets away with calling me Allie (a nickname I despise). Through his unconditional support, I’ve been able to grow in countless ways. During the darkest days of my life, he was one of the few people that were there on a daily basis, coaching me through. We aren’t exactly touchy-feely-cordial. No, quite the opposite. We’d pull each other’s hair and tease like second graders. Half-a-dozen years later, our friendship is one of the strongest I have. Just last month we were on a walk when he commented on the early years of our friendship and how much I had changed for the better. He often looks at me and says with a smile, “Oh Allie, you’re just as lovely as the day I met you…” For one brief moment, I am the most special woman in the world. Before I can argue that I’m actually lovelier today, the moment has passed and we go back to elementary school-age behavior. Our relationship filled a hole in my heart, and I’m grateful to say that while time passes and significant others come and go, he will always have a place in my heart. Having someone who cares for you unconditionally will propel you to great things, even if you never realize they were the ones pushing you.

The one who lets you behind the curtain: Women are difficult to understand. I’ve been one for more than 32 years and they still confuse the heck out of me. However, as often as they leave me scratching my head – men are worse! I see guys dating women who are pure trouble, preoccupied with raising kids, or just not worth it. As I was pondering this with a guy friend he pointed out some things that I would never suspect. And if I did realize that was what was going on, there’s no way I’d waste my time dating “that kind of guy”. According to him, guys date girls who are rude because they think the women have a soft spot for them. He said that, “She can be mean to every one else, but if she’s nice to me, it makes me feel special.” And he also said dating single moms is great for several

reasons, first and foremost, they won’t be occupying all your time – they’re busy with the kids. Plus, if you don’t want kids of your own: presto, instant family.

The one who believes in you more than you possibly can: For eight years, one man has stood behind me making me look good – literally. My hairdresser, Tony, believes in me more than I could ever imagine. A true Southern gentleman, he goes to great lengths to point out what’s obvious to everyone but me. He’ll remind me I’m independent (a little too much), to stop talking about the great American novel and start writing it, and that I’m only young once. While the young is starting to slip, he’s got a point with the other two. In my mind, the limitations to my achievements are omnipresent. Through his eyes, there are none. He thinks I’m every ounce of fabulous. I hope that one day I’ll see myself through his eyes – I’ll see a girl who is capable and strong, not how I see myself now: anxious and self-conscious.

We are people who need people – all of us. We need people to love us and believe in us, because sometimes it’s a little hard to do ourselves. We need people to show us how the other half lives and why. But more than that, we need to listen to them: they’ll cheer us on, steer us from danger, and pull us ahead. I can’t imagine my life without these men. Despite what the media might be trying to tell me, I know who I’m going to listen to and why. Because in the end, they’re the ones who listen to me.

more information contact the VBC Ticket office.

May 5-6Rocket City BBQ Whistle Stop Festival will be held at the Historic Huntsville Depot from 4-11 on Friday and 10am-11pm on Sat. Come join the many different kinds of award winning BBQ and live music. Admission Charged.

May 6Special Contra Dance-Live music by Kaleidoscope with Calling by Erin Magire, Doug Roth & Bryan Walls. All ages welcome. 7:30-10:30 pm. Admission $8.00/$5.00 students.

In gym of Faith Presbyterian, corner of Airport Rd. & Whitesburg Dr. For more info. call 837-0656.

May 6Free day with Sacred Harp singing at the Burritt on the Mountain. 9:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. Come hear the music from the movie “Cold Mountain.” Held in the Madison Baptist Church on the Museum grounds, this all day singing attracts singers from around the Southeast. Sacred harp is a shaped-note religious folk music, which is sung acappella. Sacred harp singing roots go back to the founding of our country, and today it survives primarily in the South. No admission fee.

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306


“Todd Snider (has) the heart and humor of John Prine, the wild unpredictability of Roger Miller, and a fresh, original spirit and freedom of imagination that’s absolutely his own.” --Kris Kristofferson

“Todd Snider writes great songs and also is great performer. He totally connects with every audience. Hardest act to follow since Steve Goodman.” -- John Prine

“When Todd Snider played it was absolutely one of the best gigs I’d everseen. He has a wonderful take on the world and the craziness that goes on and he tells it like it is with a great sense of humor. He’s a rebel with a cause and I love him.”- Johnnie Walker, BBC Radio

If you’ve never heard of Todd Snider, then “That Was Me: Todd Snider 1994-1998” (Hip- O/UMe), released Aug. 30, 2005, is an introduction. If you’re already a fan, then his first compilation, following seven critically acclaimed albums, is a tribute to the wry, honest, brutal and yet funny Snider. Featuring 17 tracks culled from his first three albums plus a previously unreleased cover of Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville” -- all digitally remastered from the original master tapes --That Was Me was created with Snider’s full participation and includes his own liner notes and detailed songography.

An iconoclastic hero of alt-country, Americana, college radio and modern folk, Snider’s influences are the likes of Randy Newman, Bob Dylan and Neil Young. Born in Portland, OR, he moved to Santa Rosa, CA, after high school and learned to play the harmonica. His brother, living in Austin, TX, figured Todd might find a job in a band there so he sent him a plane ticket. After seeing

Jerry Jeff play in a local bar, Snider indeed decided that was what he wanted to do with his life.

During a mid-80s stint in Memphis where he established a residency at theDaily Planet club, he was discovered by Keith Sykes, a member of Jimmy Buffett’s Coral Reefer Band. John Prine then hired Snider as an assistant and eventually had him open shows. When Buffett heard Snider’s demos, he signed him to his MCA imprint Margaritaville Records. His debut album, 1994’s Songs For The Daily Planet, starred “Talking Seattle Grunge Rock Blues” as well as “Alright Guy,” “Trouble,” “You Think You Know Somebody,” “Easy Money” and “That Was Me.”

For 1996’s Step Right Up, Snider and his band, the Nervous Wrecks, continued blending bluegrass, blues, folk-rock and country-rock to forge their own distinctive sound.

Snider has since issued four albums on Prine’s indie Oh Boy Records, includ-ing 2004’s East Nashville Skyline, and he continues to tour across the country.

It just doesn’t get much better than this. Idle Hands Records Rock band “The Garden District” will

be rocking the stage at tha Loft, April 22nd, at 7pm. Idle Hands Records is an independent record label based in Auburn, Al.. Using the term, “record label” loosely, Idle Hands says, “We are more like a lower-middle class family of artists whose goal is to pool our resources and get the music out to more people”. This means you will have the opportunity to hear really great music again. Which is something that has been missing from the music industry for a long time. Many people from the older generation know a lot about this but the new generation (the late 70’s and 80’s babies) know very little about great live independent music. It’s Auburn and Huntsville, Al. Baby! The independent and underground music scene is about to emerge!

This is independent and underground music at it’s best! The Garden District, from New Orleans, Louisiana, comprised of four super musicians, Kevin Frank on guitar and vocals, Jonathan Pretus on guitar and vocals, Matt Shouppe on Bass and vocals and Jeremy Miller on the drums and vocals, have the ability to “rock your socks off”, as the new saying goes. These guys bring an element not seen in every band, with everyone from the

lead guitarist to the drummer doing vocals. It’s like everyone is backing each other on this one. These guys have an incredible sound!

You don’t want to miss this exciting show. Also performing with “The Garden District”, April 22nd, 7pm at tha Loft, will be another exciting band from Corinth, Ms., “On My Honor” and “Cavalier” from, Gadsden, Al. We can say that this show is going to be an incredible show because both “on My Honor and “Cavalier” have played at tha Loft before and they rocked the house...literally. These guys don’t just sing, they perform. They are very exciting to watch!

So don’t miss Auburn based, Idle Hands Records Rock band, “The Garden District” Live, at tha Loft, April 22nd, at 7pm. It is going to be an amazing night!

For more information, please visit us at, www.thaloft.com. You can check out any of these bands on our “shows and events page”. We’re located at 22l1 Seminole Dr., inside the Historical Lowe Mill building on the 3rd floor. We hope to see you there.

TODD SNIDER--THAT WAS ME: TODD SNIDER 1994-1998 --

The Garden District

By Korkeya

#041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5

LIVE at the Crossroads on Friday, April 14 at

11 p.m.


[email protected]

801 FRANKLIN 801 Franklin Street, Huntsville (Downtown by Medical Center), 256-519-8019. Lunch: M-F 11-2, Dinner: M-W 5-10 pm & Th-Sa 5 pm-1 am. Lounge opens 4 pm M-F. Full Bar & Extensive Wine List. www.801franklin.com

BEAUREGARD’S (3 Huntsville locations) 1851 University Dr. , 256-512-0074 511 Jordan Lane, 256-837-2433 975 Airport Rd. SW, 256-880-2131

BENNIGAN’S1009 Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-534-6141www.bennigans.com

BISTRO LA LUNA Covenant Cove Lodge & Marina, 7001 Val-Monte Drive, Guntersville, 256-582-0930. www.covenantcove.com

BONEFISH GRILL 4800 Whitesburg Dr. , 256-883-0643

BUFFALO WILD WINGS2750 Carl T. Jones Dr. 256-650-4115

CHEF GREEN’S ON THE FOUNTAINFountain RowHuntsville, Al 35801

CHILI’S (2 Huntsville locations)4925 University Drive, 256-722-9620 2740 Carl T. Jones, 256-882-1230

CRAWMAMMA’S 5000 Webb Villa, Guntersville, 256-582-0484

D&L BISTRO7500 SW Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-881-7244, located in Main St. South

THE DOCKSGoosepond Colony, 417 Ed Hembree, Scottsboro, 256-574-3071.

EDEN’S EAST2413-B Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-721-9491Vegetarian fare, M-Thu: 11am-6 pm; Fri: 11am-3pm

FURNITURE FACTORY BAR & GRILL619 Meridian Street N, Huntsville (just north of Downtown), 256-539-8001.

GREEN HILLS GRILLE5100 Sanderson Street NW, Huntsville (corner of Wynn and University), 256-837-8282.

HUMPHREY’S BAR & GRILL109 Washington Street, Huntsville (Downtown, corner of Washington and Clinton), 256-704-5555. 11 am – 2 am everyday. www.downtownhuntsville.comLive music almost every night – SEE CALENDAR

JAZZ FACTORY109 North Side Square, Huntsville (Downtown on the Square), 256-539-1919.

K C’s COYOTE CAFE410 Old Town St., Guntersville, 256-582-1676

LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL300 Franklin Street, Huntsville (Downtown on the Square), 256-539-7777

LOGAN’S ROADHOUSE (2 Huntsville locations)4249 Balmoral Drive, Huntsville, 256-881-0584 University Drive NW, Huntsvile 2315 Beltline SW, Decatur, 256-432-2746

MAIN STREET CAFE101Main Street, Madison, 461-8096

MAMA ANNIE’S4550 Meridian Street N, 489-3275

THE PALATTE’ CAFÉHuntsville Museum of Art300 Church St.Huntsville, Al 35801

PAULI’S BAR & GRILL7143-C Hwy 72 W, Huntsville (corner of Slaughter Road & Hwy 72), 256-722-2080. www.downtownhuntsville.com

PAULI’S CHOPHOUSE109 Washington Street, Huntsville (Downtown, corner of Clinton and Washington), 256-704-5555. M-Th 5 – 10 pm, F-Sat 5 – 11 pm, Sun 11 am – 2 pm. www.downtownhuntsville.com

PRINCETON’S CEDAR MILL GRILLE1208 Beltline SW, Decatur, 256-351-6247

SILVER POINT RESTAURANT7840 Hwy 72 Madison, 856-895-3343

STARFISHCorner of Pratt & Russell, Huntsville, 256-327-5555www.downtownhuntsville.com

T-BIRDS CAFE1792 Hwy. 72 East, Huntsville, 256-852-9191.

TGI FRIDAY’S4935 University Drive NW, Huntsville 256-830-2793, www.tgifridays.com

TOP O’ THE RIVER7004 Val-Monte, Guntersville, 256-582-4567

WILD FLOUR BISTRO600 Jordan Lane NW, Huntsville (shopping center, corner of Holmes and Jordan). 256-536-0939.

WINGS SPORTS GRILLE4250 Balmoral Dr. SW, Huntsville, 256-881-8878.www.wingssportsgrille.com

ALABAMA BREAD COMPANY975 Airport Rd., Huntsville, 256-882-2010.

CAFE BABA 5000 Whitesburg, Huntsville, 256-519-2323.

CAFE DOMAIN 6585 Hwy 431 S, Ste. C, Huntsville, 256-882-6747

COFFEE CREATIONS616 HWY 31, S ATHENS, AL 35611

COFFEE AND TEA COMPANYMadison Square Mall University Dr. Huntsville 256-837-7085

COFFEE TREE BOOKS & BREW, THE 7900 Bailey Cove Rd., Huntsville, 256-880-6464

HIGHLANDER COFFEE SHOPPEBob Wallace AveHuntsville, AL 35805

JAMO’S CAFÉ413 Jordan Lane NW, Huntsville, 256-837-7880.

JAVA JAAY CAFE1713 6th Ave. SE, Decatur, 256-351-8555.

KAFFEEKLATSCH103 Jefferson Street, Huntsville, 256-536-7993.

KENNY MANGO’S COFFEE SHOP & GALLERY119 N Side Square, Huntsville, 256-755-6559.

LAGNIAPPES COFFEE CAFE119 East Moulton, DecaturCoffee, Espresso, Bakery & Deli.

OLDE TOWNE COFFEE SHOPPE511 Pratt Ave NE, Huntsville, 256-539-5399

SEATTLE SOUTH2113 Whitesburg Drive S, Huntsville,(Whitesburg Medical District), 256-534-0513

WEST SIDE COFFEE PLACE & CAFE2699B Sandlin Rd., SW, Decatur, 256-353-2025

WILD ROSE CAFE121 North Side Square, Huntsville, 256-539-3658CAJUN CAFE704 Hwy 231 Lacey’s Spring 256-650-5586

Continued On Page 25

PO BOY FACTORY815 Andrew Jackson Way, Huntsville (in Five Points) 256-539-3616.

TIM’S CAJUN KITCHEN114 Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-533-7589.

PAPOU’S110 South Side Square, Huntsville, 256-534-5553Greek Restaurant, Lunch & Dinner, Full Bar.

SAZIOCorner of Pratt & Russell, Huntsville, 256-327-5555Mediterranean Cuisine, Full Bar, Patio Dining

BELLACINO’S PIZZA & GRINDERS (3 locations) 4851 Whitesburg Dr, 256-880-8656 8572 Madison Blvd, Madison, 256-774-1918 11700 N So Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-650-4648

BIG ED’S PIZZERIA721 Clinton Avenue, Huntsville, 256-536-2872

CHEEBURGER, CHEEBURGER (3 locations)5000 Whitesburg Dr., Huntsville, 256-885-3700300 Hughes Rd, Madison, 256-464-9990Providence Main, Huntsville

DUFFY’S DELI2324 Whitesburg, Huntsville, 256-533-4179

McALLISTER’S DELI (2 Huntsville locations) 4800 Whitesburg Drive S, 256-880-1557 and1480 Perimeter Pkwy, 256-425-0034. Appetizers, Salads, Sandwiches, Spuds & Desserts. Kid’s Menu.

TONY’S ITALIAN DELI119 James Madison Drive SW Huntsville, 256-772-4448

SCHLOTZSKY’S DELI (2 Huntsville locations)4319 University Drive NW, 256-830-640011120 Memorial Pkwy SW, 256-650-63008969 Hwy. 20, Madison, 256-464-5300

SOUL BURGER2900 Triana Blvd. SW, Huntsville, 256-534-8585

STANLIEO’S SUB VILLA (2 Huntsville locations) 605 Jordan Lane, 256-837-7220 602 Governors Drive, 256-536-6585

TERRY’S PIZZA (3 Huntsville locations)9034 Memorial Pkwy S, 256-881-59873612 Governors Dr, 256-536-3389 and2514 Memorial Pkwy N, 256-539-3467

BB PERRINS608 Holly St, NE, Decatur, 256-355-0980

CLEM’S BBQ & FISHERY3700 Blue Spring Road NWHuntsville, 256-852-6661

DREAMLAND3855 University Dr., Huntsville 256-539-7427

GIBSON BARBECUE (3 Huntsville locations)3319 Memorial Pkwy., Huntsville, 256-881-48518412 Whitesburg Drive, Huntsville, 256-882-0841735 Hwy 72 E, Huntsville, 256-852-98821715 6th Ave., SE, Decatur, 256-350-6969

MERIDIANVILLE BAR-B-QUE11537 Hwy. 231N., Meridianville, 256-828-3725

OLE HICKORY PIT BBQ5061 Maysville Road New Market, 256-859-2824

SMOKEY’S BARBEQUE8073 Hwy 72, W, Madison256-721-0300

THOMAS PIT BBQHwy 72 ,W, Madison256-837-4900

BLUE PLATE CAFE 3210 Governors Drive, Huntsville, 256-533-8808

ERNEY’S1605 Pulaski Pike NWHuntsville, (256) 533-5734

G’S COUNTRY KITCHEN2501 Oakwood Dr., Huntsville, 256-533-3034

MULLIN’S607 Andrew Jackson, Huntsville, 256-539-2826

ROLO’S CAFE505 Airport Rd., Huntsville, 256-883-7656

BANDITO BURRITO (2 locations) 3017 Governors Dr SW, Huntsville, 256-534-0866208 Main St., Madison, 256-461-8999

CASA BLANCA MEXICAN RESTAURANT(4 locations) 7830 Hwy 72 W, Ste 230, Madison 256-864-0360140 Browns Ferry Rd, Madison 256-464-60447900 Bailey Cove Rd, Huntsville 256-883-44471802 Hwy 72 E, Ste D, Athens 256-771-0130

EL MARIACHI (3 locations)14450 Hwy 231/431 N Hazel Green, 256-828-1466 1836 Winchester Road, Huntsville 256-851-7255 7193 Hwy 72 W, Madison, 256-890-0900

EL PALACIO2008 Memorial Pkwy SW, Huntsville 256-539-6075

GARIBALDI’S2107 Old Blue Spring Rd. Hsv 256-851-7394

GUADALAJARA MEXICAN RESTAURANTS11208 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville 256-882-7311 &8572 Madison Blvd, 256-774-1401

LA ALAMEDA3807 University Drive NWHuntsville, 256-539-6244

LITTLE ROSIE’S TAQUERIA4781 Whitesburg Dr S, Huntsville, 256-882-0014

PEPITO’S3508 Mem. Pkwy. S, Hsv256-858-0059

QDOBA MEXICAN GRILL4800 Whitesburg Drive, Huntsville 256-489-1367

ROSIE’S MEXICAN CANTINA (2 Huntsville locations)6125 University Drive, 256-922-10017540 S. Memorial Pkwy, 256-382-3232

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306


Continued From Page 24LISTINGSCARRABASParkway Place Mall Huntsville, Al 35801

ITALIAN PIE5000 Whitesburg Dr, Huntsville, 256-883-9112

LA STRADA12824 Hwy 431, Guntersville. European cuisine. 256-582-2250. www.lastradabama.com

LUCIANO964 Airport Road SW, Huntsville, 256-885-0505

RICATONI’S ITALIAN GRILL107 N. Court St., Florence, 256-718-1002

ROMANO’S MACARONI GRILL5901 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-722-4770

TELLINI’S CAFE & GRILL4855 Whitesburg Dr. Hsv256-881-9155

EDO JAPANESE RESTAURANT104 N. Intercom Drive, Madison, 256-772-0360

MIKATO JAPANESE STEAK HOUSE & LOUNGE4061 Independence Dr. NW, Huntsville, (one block N. of University on Jordan Ln.), 256-830-1700.

MIKAWA RESTAURANT1010 Heathland Dr, Huntsville, 256-837-7440.

MIWON JAPANESE RESTAURANT404 Jordan Lane NWHuntsville, 256-533-7771MIYAKO10013 South Parkway256-880-9879

NIKKO JAPANESE RESTAURANT6565 Hwy. 431, Hampton Cove, 256-536-3690

SHO GUN JAPANESE STEAK & SUSHI BAR3991 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-534-3000.

TOKYO JAPANESE STEAK HOUSE & SUSHI BAR 1105 Wayne Road, Huntsville, 256-217-1719

MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE6920 University Dr. Huntsville, 256-830-4433

SURIN OF THAILAND975 Airport Rd SW, Huntsville, 256-213-9866

THAI GARDEN RESTAURANT 800 Wellman Ave. NE, Huntsville, 256-534-0122

CHINA MOON 11700 S Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-880-2626

DING HOW II4800 Whitesburg Dr., Huntsville, 256-880-8883

JADE PALACE 4925 University Drive NW, Huntsville, 256-830-2458

TAI PAN PALACE2012 Mem. Pkwy, S, Hsv256-539-5797

DEUTSCHE KUCHE418 Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-534-4807. Authentic

HILDEGARD’S2357 Whitesburg Dr., Hsv256-512-9776

OL HEIDELBERG CAFÉ6125 University Drive NW E14, Huntsville, (shopping center next to Rosie’s), 256-992-0556.

TASTE OF D’ISLANDS 2105 Mastin Lake Road, Huntsville, 256-851-9262.

CASA MONTEGO INTERNATIONAL LOUNGE 2117 Jonathan Drive, Huntsville, 256-858-9187.

BENCHWARMER FOOD & SPIRITS2998 University Drive, Huntsville 256-539-6268.www.benchwarmersportsbar.com.

BENCHWARMER, TOO! 3000 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-489-9600.

BILLIARD STREET CAFE2703 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-539-6268.

BLACK WATER HATTIE’S10000 S. Memorial Pkwy. 256-489-3333.

BLUE PARROT MARTINI & CIGAR LOUNGE 7001 Val-Monte Drive, Covenant Cove Resort, Guntersville, 256-582-0930. www.covenantcove.com/parrot.htm

BOBBY G’S PLACE1009 Henderson Road, 256-837-4728

BRICK DELI & TAVERN, THE209-A 2nd Ave. SE, Decatur256-355-8318.

CHARLOTTE’S PLACE1117 Jordan Ln.Huntsville, AL 35816

CHIPS & SALSA CANTINA10300 Bailey Cove Rd SE Huntsville, 256-880-1202.

CLUB MIRAGE4701 Meridian Street, Huntsville, 256-851-2920.

COPPER TOP BAR & GRILL200 Q Oakwood Ave., Huntsville, 256-536-1150Formerly Zesto’s in Five Points. Appetizers, sandwiches & more. Karaoke & Live Music

CORNER GRILL & PUB, THE (2 Huntsville locations)10300 Bailey Cove Road SE, 256-880-2103. 129-A Old Highway 431,Hampton Cove

CROSSROADS, THE 721 Clinton Ave, Huntsville, 256-533-3393. Live Music 7 nights. www.crossroadsmusic.biz

END ZONE, THE 1909 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-536-2234.

FINNEGAN’S PUB 3310 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-881-9732

FREDDY’S4070 Mem. Pkwy South Huntsville 35802256-880-2590Corner of Golf Rd. & The PaekwayNew Restaurant with a New Attitude!

FURNITURE FACTORY BAR & GRILL619 Meridian Street N, Huntsville (just north of Downtown), 256-539-8001.

HARD DOCK CAFE3755 U.S. Hwy. 31, Decatur, 256-340-9234

HALF TIME BAR AND GRILL8873 Highway 72 W, Madison, 256-430-0266

HOG WILD SALOON 2407 Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-533-7446

HOOTERS4730 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-722-0166.

HOPPER’SHoliday Inn-Research Park, 5903 University Drive, 256-830-0600

HUMPHREY’S BAR & GRILL109 Washington Square, Huntsville, 256-704-5555. Beef, seafood, sandwiches. Come for the food – Stay for the Fun. Best Patio in Huntsville. Happy Hour every day 11 am – 6 pm. Live music every night, no cover. Open 11 am – 2 am everyday.

INSOMNIA6402 Hwy 72, WHuntsville, AL 35806

JEMISON’S EATERY & PUB350-A Market St. NE, Decatur, 256-351-0300.

JUDGE CRATER’S PUB & GRILL110 Southside Square, Huntsville 256-534-6116

KAFFEEKLATSCH @NIGHT103 Jefferson Street, Huntsville, 256-536-7993.Live Music nightly.

THE MAIN OFFICEHwy 231/431, Hazel Green, 256-829-9100

MARTINI’S OF MADISONRamada Inn, 8716 Madison Blvd, Madison,256-772-0701.

MOODY MONDAYS 718 Church St, Huntsville, 256-533-4005

NIKKO JAPANESE RESTAURANT6565 Hwy. 431, Hampton Cove, 256-536-3690

OTTER’S Marriott Hotel, 5 Tranquility Base, Huntsville256-830-2222.

5 POINTS GALLERY401 Pratt Ave. NE, 256-539-9658

801 FRANKLIN801 Franklin Street, Huntsville, (Downtown by Medical Center), 256-519-8019. Dine with fine art. www.801franklin.com.

ATHENS ST. STUDENT UNION ART GALLERY 300 N. Beaty St., Athens, Athens State University, 800-522-0272

ARTISTIC IMAGES2115 Whitesburg Drive, Huntsville, 256-534-3968.www.artisticimagesgallery.com

CAROLE FORET FINE ART206 West Market St., Downtown Square, Athens256-232-2521. www.caroleforet.com

DRAGONFLY GALLERY & DESIGN125 Main Ave. S., Fayetteville, TN, 931-433-3024

HUNTSVILLE ART LEAGUE GALLERY3005 L&N Drive, Suite 2, Huntsville, 256-534-3860. Monday-Saturday 10 am - 6 pm; Sunday 1-4 pm.www.huntsvilleartleague.org.

HUNTSVILLE MUSEUM OF ART300 Church Street So. in Big Spring International Park, Huntsville. Gen. admission fee is $7 for non-members. Discounts for seniors over 60, military, students with a valid ID, and groups of 10 or more. Admission is half-price for non-members on Thurs nights. Members & children <6 free. Hours 1-5pm. Sunday; 10am-5pm. Mon-Sat; extended hours on Th 5-8 pm. Call 256-535-4350 or 1-800-786-9095, or visit www.hsvmuseum.org.

LADAGE ARTISTRY321 S. Jefferson, Athens,256-216-0039. http://ladage.dews.net.

MERIDIAN ARTS (2 locations)305-A Jefferson Street, Huntsville, 256-534-7475. M-F: 10 am – 6 pm, Sat: 10 am – 4pm; and 370 Little Cove Road, Gurley, AL, 256-776-4300. Tu-F: 10 am – 6 pm, Sat: 10 am – 4 pm. www.Meridianarts.net.

MONDO DE TATUAGE GALLERYCorner of 6th Ave. and 7th St., Decatur256-306-9099.

MVAC FINE ARTS GALLERY300 Gunter Ave.,Guntersville, 256-582-1454.Hours: Mon-Fri 9-4, Sat 10-3.http://mountainvalleyartscouncil.org

SIGNATURE GALLERY2364 Whitesburg Drive S, Huntsville,256-536-1960.

TWO FEATHERS NATIVE AMERICAN GALLERY7529-A S. Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-882-0078.

PHILBY’S POURHOUSE 111 Jefferson Street, Huntsville, 256-512-5858.

PINHOOK CREEK YACHT CLUB2704 Johnson Road, Huntsville, 256-880-3714.

ROSEBERRY PUB & GRILLHwy 67 Scottsboro256-574-4231

RUGGBY’S4820 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-895-0795.

SAMMY’S LIVE2322 Memorial Parkway, SHuntsville, AL 35801

SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL116 Washington Street, 256-539-9974. www.sammytsplace.com

SANDY’S ROADHOUSE12740 Hwy. 431 S, Guntersville, 256-571-0450.

THE SHACK105 Swancott Road, Triana 256-461-0227. The bar that never closes!

SPORTS PAGE LOUNGE & DELI 9009 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-880-9471.

THE STATION8694 Madison Blvd., Madison, 256-325-1333.

STEVE’S BILLIARDS & LOUNGE2322 Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-539-8919.

TABU & THE VIP ROOM7200 Governors West, Huntsville, 256-830-1233.www.theentertainmentcomplexhsv.com

TWILIGHT ZONE 2140 Gunter Ave. in the Holiday Inn,Guntersville, 256-582-2220

UPSCALE 2021 Golf Rd, Huntsville, 256-881-8820www.clubupscale.com

VISIONS 6404 University Dr. NW, Huntsville, 256-722-8247

WINGS SPORTS GRILLE4250 Balmoral Dr. SW, Huntsville, 256-881-8878.www.wingssportsgrille.com

2ND STREET MUSIC HALL208 2nd Street, Gadsden 256-547-0010

3RD BASE GRILL7904 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-882-9500.

ADRIAN’S1405 Sunset Drive, Guntersville, 256-582-3106

ALLEN’S GRILLE & GROG9076 Madison Blvd, Madison, 256-772-8514.

THE BARN2510 Ready Section Road, corner of Pulaski Pike, Toney

#041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5


Send your Weird News to Chuck ShepherdP.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679or [email protected] go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)COPYRIGHT 2004 CHUCK SHEPHERDDISTRIBUTED BYUNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111;(816) 932-6600

Chuck Shepherd, photo Bob Baggett Photography

Researchers at Massachusetts Institute of Technology are working on a high-tech device with seemingly a multitude of uses in lessening our crushing overload of banality: a boredom detector. A talker, via a wearable camera and software that measures facial expressions and movements, could know whether he has lost touch with a listener (via signals from eyebrows, lips, nose, etc.). The device was designed for the autistic (who are typically oblivious of other people’s reactions), but would be useful to anyone underskilled at being interesting. So far, the software is said to be accurate 64 percent of the time, according to a March report in New Scientist.

The Entrepreneurial SpiritBold Marketing: (1) Among men’s colognes recently launched: the Elizabeth Arden-NASCAR “Daytona 500” fragrance and the Ecuadorean Football Federation’s set of three soccer-motif scents, ranging from a “sporting” aroma to “an intense smell ideal for after work.” (2) Butte, Mont., has long been unhappy with the presence of the Berkeley Pit, a huge, putrid, toxic lake filled by runoff from arsenic, copper, cadmium, cobalt, iron and zinc mines. Last year, however, the town began to figure out that tourists would actually pay to see the 500-acre, 900-foot-deep, foul, wretched mess. Attendance was so good that the admission price was recently increased.

Specialty Products: The apparently successful Iraq Insurance Co. (a state-owned firm with 50 salespeople nationwide) is thought to be the only company in the world to offer “off-the-shelf” terrorism life insurance (paying a bodyguard’s beneficiary, for example, the equivalent of about $3,500, which is a policeman’s yearly salary, for a $90 premium, according to a New York Times dispatch). As of mid-March, no policyholder had been killed. (2) Among the “brand” names used by marijuana traffickers to sell dope-laced candy, according to federal agents who made arrests in March in Oakland, Calif., are Buddafingers, Pot Tarts, Double Puff Oreo, Puff-a-Mint Pattie and Toka-Cola.

Volleyball is quite popular among female devout Muslim refugees in Kenya, according to a March New York Times dispatch, even though the women’s bulky hijabs frequently shift around, hindering the “digs” and “spikes.” The Nike company recently came to the rescue by designing (and then donating) sleek hijabs that cover the skin and hair appropriately, but also permit much freer movement on the court. Nike is silent on its marketing plans, but worldwide, the number of Muslim girls and women of prime sports-playing age is huge.

Science on the Cutting Edge In work by various labs in the United States, the Netherlands and Australia (reported by Toronto’s Globe and Mail in March), meat was grown in test tubes, and such dishes may yet be a staple in progressive kitchens. “Before bed, throw starter cells and a package of growth medium into the (coffee maker-sized) meat maker and wake up to harvest-fresh sausage for breakfast,” wrote the Globe and Mail. Engineered meat would taste like beef or pork, but could be created to be as healthful as salmon. One private group told researchers it was interested in growing human meat, but funding for any of the work will be difficult, said a Medical University of South Carolina scientist.

A family has been found in Kurdish Turkey whose members walk on all fours, use the palms of their hands for balance, and stand upright only with difficulty, according to researchers who filmed the family for a March British television show. According to Professor Nicholas Humphrey of the London School of Economics, scientists’ best guess for the family’s condition is that their inbreeding caused the reprise of genetic traits long thought to have been evolutionarily passed over.

Man’s Best Friend (Except Sometimes) In February, two girls (aged 12 and 13) ran away from home in Cleveland, headed by bus for Minneapolis, along with Bambi, one girl’s family dog (represented to the driver as a “guide dog”). However, the girls overfed Bambi on junk food, and the dog became so flatulent as to cause a commotion on the bus, which eventually drew police officers, who then discovered the girls were runaways.

Bright Ideas In February, the Missourian newspaper reported that Columbia resident Adam Ballard, 22, now in his second year in the Army, is overeating and under-exercising so as to gain weight rapidly and exceed the Army’s body-fat requirement, which will force his discharge rather than his deployment to the Middle East war zone. According to The Columbian, 3,285 soldiers were discharged for excess body fat in 2004 (although not all were war-zone shirkers). Ballard said he had no qualms because recruiters had originally assured him a desk job.

Least Competent Criminals Inexplicable: Phillip Williams, 47, for some reason approached two uniformed police officers in Tampa, Fla., in March to ask their opinions of whether the substance he had just purchased for the crack pipe he was holding was indeed

cocaine. After examining the pipe, the officers suspended their then-current investigation of a burglary and put the cuffs on Williams. The month before, in Orlando, Michael Garibay, 34, approached a sheriff’s deputy in a marked patrol car and asked him if he was “straight,” which, as Garibay proceeded to explain to the befuddled officer, meant, “Do you want to buy cocaine?” After Garibay pulled out a baggie of white rocks, he was arrested.

Recurring Themes: In March, Gary Brunner became the latest person to go to a police station and ask naively if there were any warrants on him, only to find the answer to be yes and that he was under arrest (for drug possession, Carmel, N.Y.). And Bryan Palmer, 21, and Peggy Casey, 31, were interviewed by police investigating a burglary in South Windsor, Conn., in March, but were released. Detectives changed their minds, though, and were futilely searching for them when the pair showed up at the police station to innocently ask how the investigation was going.

The Sacred Institution of Marriage (1) In February in Pattaya, Thailand, the woman who was the former Guinness Book recordholder for living in a cage with scorpions was married to the man who holds the equivalent record for time spent with centipedes, with consummation immediately afterward in a coffin. (Kanchana Ketkaew had stayed 32 days with 3,400 scorpions and Bunthawee Siengwong 28 days with 1,000 centipedes.) (2) After Ms. Sohela Ansari told friends in their village in West Bengal state in India that her husband had mumbled “talaq, talaq, talaq” in his sleep, word got to local Muslim authorities, who declared the couple divorced. (A Muslim husband may obtain a divorce merely by the utterance, and the West Bengal clerics ruled that he need not be awake at the time.)

Readers’ Choice In March, Deputy Fire Chief Leroy Johnson, 52, of Mesa, Ariz., announced his retirement after becoming possibly the highest-status person in the country in recent years to be allegedly witnessed having sex with a barnyard animal (a lamb). Another possible record-setter was Kimberly Du, 36, who was charged in February in Des Moines, Iowa, with faking her December death to avoid prosecution on several traffic tickets, which might be the pettiest criminal charge anyone has ever tried to avoid by faking death.

Not Even Safe in Your Own Bed Anymore People who recently had their sleep disrupted by out-of-control vehicular traffic crashing into their homes and right over their beds: Maryella Wallace, Davenport, Iowa, June 2005 (no serious injuries). A couple in Altamonte Springs, Fla., December (driver in a stolen car; no serious injuries). Juan Diaz, Fairdale, Ky., March (no serious injuries). A couple in the Houston suburb of Missouri City, Texas, March (two fatalities).

Are We Safe? In a two-day period in March, alarming reports revealed that “dirty (radiation) bombs” easily entered the country in car trunks in tests, that one-third of U.S. civilian nuclear research reactors were insufficiently secure, and that concerns were heightened about the 2,000 shoulder-fired missiles said to be unaccounted for in the world’s arsenals. On the other hand, the Los Angeles Times reported that the fishing village of Dillingham, Alaska, at least, is secure, now that a $200,000 Homeland Security anti-terrorism grant has paid for 60 “downtown” surveillance cameras (with 20 more to come). Dillingham (pop. 2,400) is about 300 miles from Anchorage, with no roads linking it to anywhere.

Compelling Explanations In earnest testimony in March, Douglas Dyer explained how it was just bad luck that his married girlfriend got shot twice, fatally, in the middle of her back by the rifle he was holding. Dyer said he had originally intended to kill himself, but when she grabbed at the gun to stop him, it fired into her hand. Then, as she ran out a door, he followed and bumped the door open with the gun, causing it to fire and accidentally hit her flush in the back. As his body flinched from the shot, banging into a wall, the rifle again accidentally fired, putting another bullet in the center of her back. (The Rockland, Maine, jury apparently didn’t believe a word of it and convicted him of murder.)

Brian Blair is now a Republican county commissioner in Tampa, Fla., but before that was a professional wrestler for 20 years. He now says it wasn’t the dropkicks, pile drivers or neck breakers that ended his career, but rather tripping over a tray of dirty dishes at a Carrabba’s Italian Grill in Tampa in 2001, which he said injured his head, shoulder and knee, and his lawsuit is still pending. (His previous lawyers resigned in March.) Blair wrestled for four months after that injury, but said the matches were the less-strenuous “tag-team” contests. Also, hospital records show a blood-alcohol reading of 0.089 90 minutes after the incident, though Blair told the Tampa Tribune he only had a sip.

At the Nov. 14 meeting of the governing board of Provincetown, Mass., Selectwoman Sarah Peake raised a formal objection to the continued presence of the historical painting that graces the board’s meeting room, though it is of a previously uncontroversial scene of Pilgrims voting on the Mayflower Compact. Peake’s objection (according to a November report in the Boston Globe) is that there are no women in the painting.

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 #041306050306


The Valley Planet Music Exchange is FREE to any individual looking to buy, sell, trade or find bandmates. You get a headline and 3 lines of text for the low, low price of nothing. If you wish to embellish your ad further, say, with a small photo (add $5) or more words (add $1 per line), it’s up to you. Now, if you are a business, you gotta pay a little something, $12 per column inch. Please call Jill Wood at (256) 533-4613 if you would like to put your business in the Exchange. Email your ads to [email protected] or send them by snail mail to Music Exchange,203 Grove Ave. Huntsville AL, 35801. NO AD WILL RUN UNTIL PAYMENT HAS BEEN RECEIVED!

UNIVERSITY CENTER ART GALLERYUniversity of Alabama in Huntsville, 256-824-1000

UPTOWN GALLERY1220 South Memorial Parkway, Huntsville 256-880-2044. www.uptowngallery.com

WHITNEY DAVIDSON GALLERY501 Church Street NW, Huntsville, 256-539-0063

WILLIS GRAY GALLERY211 B Second Ave. SE, Decatur, 256-355-7616

ALABAMA CONSTITUTION VILLAGE109 Gates Ave., Huntsville, 256-564-8100. Open daily, 9 am - 5 pm, except Sundays.

AMERICAN INDIAN MUSEUM2003 Poole Drive NW, Huntsville, 256-852-4524. www.american-indian-museum.com

BURRITT ON THE MOUNTAIN: A LIVING MUSEUM3101 Burritt Drive SE, Huntsville, 256-536-2882.Summer Hours (April - Oct): Tues- Sat 9am to 5pm Sun noon to 5 pm. Regular Adm. fee is $5 adult, $4 senior, military & students, $3 child (children under 2, free). www.burrittmuseum.com

CATHEDRAL CAVERNS STATE PARK637 Cave Road, Woodville. 256-728-8193 Open daily at 10 am.CLAY HOUSE MUSEUM16 Main Street, Madison 256-325-1018. Tour this antebellum home with “A Walk Through Time”, 100 years of decorative style from 1850 - 1950 featur-ing Noritake Porcelain.

COVENANT COVE RESORT & MARINA7001 Val-Monte Drive, Guntersville256-582-1000 or 888-288-COVE. www.covenantcove.com

EARLYWORKS MUSEUM COMPLEX404 Madison Street SE, Huntsville, 256-564-8100.

GORHAM’S BLUFFPisgah, 256-451-ARTS. The Gorham’s Bluff Institute is a non-profit organization dedicated to

providing arts and cultural activities to Jackson County and Northeast Alabama.

HARMONY PARK SAFARI431 Clouds Cove Road, New Hope. 1-877-7ANIMAL. Drive through animal exhibits. Open March through November.

HARRISON BROTHERS HARDWARE124 Southside Square, Huntsville, 256-536-3631. Alabama’s oldest hardware store.

HUNTSVILLE BOTANICAL GARDEN4747 Bob Wallace Avenue, Huntsville, 256-830-4447. The 110-acre garden is open year-round. Summer Hours, Memorial Day through Labor Day: M-Sat, 9am-8pm; Sun, 1–8pm. $8 Adults, $6 Senior or Military, $3 Children ages 3-18.www.hsvbg.org.

HUNTSVILLE STARSJoe W. Davis Stadium, 3125 Leeman Ferry Rd, Huntsville, 256-882-2562.

HUNTSVILLE HAVOCProfessional Hockey, Eastern Hockey League. 700 Monroe Street. Huntsville, AL 35801 (256) 518-6160.

THE LAND TRUST TRAILSBankhead Pkwy., Huntsville, 256-534-LAND Year-round hiking on 547 acres of Monte Sano preserve. www.landtrust-hsv.org

MONTE SANO STATE PARK5015 Nolen Ave., Huntsville, 256-534-3757

SCI-QUEST102-D Wynn Drive, Huntsville, 256-837-0606. An exciting hands-on science center. www.sci-quest.org

TENNESSEE VALLEY VIPERSArena Football, American Conference Southern Division. 700 Monroe St, Huntsville, VBC, 256-551-3240. www.vipersaf2.com

THREE CAVESDirections: Off California St., turn onto Hermitage, left onto Kennemer Dr. Call The Land Trust at (256) 534-5263 to reserve your spot on a public cave tour or to arrange a private tour for your group.

US SPACE & ROCKET CENTER1 Tranquility Base, Huntsville, 256-837-3400. Open 9am-5pm year round except for Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Day, and New Year’s Eve and Day. Admissions: Museum only – Adults $12 & Child 3-12 $8, www.spacecamp.com

VON BRAUN CENTER700 Monroe St. Huntsville, 256-533-1953. Check calendar for events. www.vonbrauncenter.com

THE WEEDEN HOUSE300 Gates Avenue SE, Huntsville, 256-536-7718

ARS NOVA SCHOOL OF THE ARTS7908C Charlotte Drive, Huntsville, 256-883-1105. www.arsnovahsv.com

Continued From Page 25LISTINGS

BROADWAY THEATRE LEAGUE 700 Monroe St. Suite 410, Huntsville (all performances held at Von Braun Center) 256-518-6155. www.btleague.org

FANTASY PLAYHOUSE CHILDREN’S THEATRE3312 Long Avenue SW, Huntsville, 256-539-6829 FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER2211 Seminole Drive, Huntsville, 256-489-7000Flying Monkey Arts Center is a not for profit community arts collective that encourages, supports and promotes the arts. www.flyingmonkeyarts.org

FOOTLIGHTS COMMUNITY THEATER302 Hoffman St. Athens, 256-216-0903www.footlightstheater.orgFootlights@footlightstheater.org

Wanted, exp. lead guitarist Call George @ 337-9856

Professional DrummerVersatile StylesChris @ 227-6490

Torin AsunderDeath Metal BandJay @ 783-3176

Wanted, members for aChristian BandContact 256-716-3731 [email protected]

CLASSICAL GUITAR AND LUTE New to Huntsville; exp teacher/performerMichael Poulos, BM, MM 539.6838

DRUMMERLooking to start or join open minded musicians to play prog. Alt-rock 232-7505 & [email protected]

Bassist & drummer for accoustic/electric bandRod @ 759-1919

MUSIC EXCHANGEWanted, free ads to put here, send to [email protected]

Guitarist Looking For A Band Classic Rock From A-ZNew Music Toocall Mike@603-7937 orLeave Message@776-9749

For saleAudio-Technica Headset Mic, Model ATM 75-$125, 881-0755

1983 Tama Imperialstar drumkit Contact Adam Jackson @ 256-233-2118/431-5130 [email protected]

WANTED: Upright bass player for Rockabilly Trio. I have the bass if you can play it. Slapping a must. We al-ready have gigs waiting. Call Matt @ 256-566-6330.

Billy Joe Cooley

Call Now:(256) 534-8888

Email:[email protected]

Billy Joe Cooley, 115 W. Clinton Ave., Suite 405,

Huntsville, AL 35801

America’s StorytellerBanquet Speaker, Humorist

Dates Available forChurch Groups, Civic Clubs

Theatre Huntsville’s Play-Reading Committee is now soliciting ideas and titles for its 2007-2008 season. The committee will meet regularly throughout 2006 to consider a wide range of titles and genres which will be pared down to a list of fourteen presented for TH Board approval in December 2006. In turn, the membership will choose seven titles in January 2007 to com-prise the 2007-2008 Season. TH is also accepting sugges-tions for play-director projects from interested directors for the committee’s consider-ation. Suggestions should be submitted by calling (256) 536-0807 or by contacting Play-reading Chair Sam Marsh at [email protected].

#041306050306 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5

HUNTSVILLE BALLET COMPANY800 Regal Drive SW, Huntsville, 256-539-0961

HUNTSVILLE COMMUNITY CHORUS3312 Long Avenue, Fantasy Arts Center, Huntsville, 256-533-6606

HUNTSVILLE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRANorth Side Von Braun Center, Huntsville 256-539-4818.

LOWE MILL2211 Seminole Dr., Huntsville, Art, Music, Film and Poetry. See Calendar for Event Dates

RENAISSANCE THEATRE AT LINCOLN CENTER1214 Meridian Street N, Huntsville, 256-536-3434.www.renaissancetheatre.net

THEATRE HUNTSVILLEBusiness Office. 1701 University Dr, Suite 1, Huntsville, 256-536-0807. www.theatrehsv.org.CARMIKE CINEMAS1359 Old Monrovia Road, Huntsville,256-430-0770. 607 Fourteenth Street, Decatur, 256-350-0935www.carmike.com.

FUNTASIA FAMILY FUN CTR.2016 N. Mem. Pkwy Huntsville256-536-0676

MADISON BOWLING CENTER8661 Hwy 72 W, Madison, 256-722-0015.

837-6110www.redfcu.org*Annual cashback bonus will be applied as a credit and not a payment in the month posted to the account. If the account becomes past due or is closed before the cashback bonus is credited to the account, excluding lost or stolencards, the cashback is forfeited. Annual purchases of up to $5000 will receive a 1% cashback bonus and annual purchases of $5,000 and over will receive a 2% annual cashback bonus. The cashback bonus will accumulate monthlyfor the program year and will be credited to the cardholder account annually. To be eligible to receive the bonus, the account must remain open and current for the entire accrual period. Balance transfers are not included in thecashback bonus calculation.

Must be RFCU member to apply. Credit cards are subject to credit approval. Rates, terms and conditions are subject to change without notice. Restrictions apply. Contact RFCU for more details about this offer, the cashback rebateand the current APR s on regular credit card purchases, balance transfers and cash advances. RFCU is an Equal Credit Opportunity Lender.

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