raising confident kids get a kids’ eye view awkward! (it’s puberty) competence = confidence
TRANSCRIPT
RAISING CONFIDENT
KIDS
Get a kids’ eye view
Awkward! (It’s puberty)
Competence = confidence
KidsHealth.org is the #1 website devoted to children’s health in English & Spanish
1 million+ visits a day
PINK LOCKER SOCIETYbook series
Four books - for ages 8 and up
Three sons
17
15
& 7
First day of school
Pink Locker Society BLOG
60,000 questions18,000+ comments
“MY MOM, WHENEVER I TELL
HER SOMETHING, INSTEAD OF HER UNDERSTANDING AND GETTING WHAT I’M
TRYING TO SAY, SHE FINDS A
WAY TO MAKE IT MY FAULT OR WILL LATER USE IT TO
EMBARRASS ME.”
-DANCEGIRL22
i’m 12, i like a girl named jessica and i don’t know what to do.
We're already "normal" friends. She seems shy
around me, and i feel shy around her. We do talk a lot. She started to ask me "The questions." Like;How old am I,how many pets do i have,
my favorite color, etc. things like that. Does this mean she likes me too? Is
she trying to figure me out? We sit next to each other at
lunch a lot. So maybe i should ask her out?
Meet Evan!
Meet Emily-Anne!
What can parents do?
ListenObserve Reach out
Listen
Is there more to what your child is saying?
New book
by the author of
Queen Bees & Wannabees
(which inspired the movie Mean Girls)
Interviews with 200+ boys
Observe
Can you learn anything by watching your child at a sports practice or party?
Reach out
Can you approach them in a way that won’t shut
them down?
3 ideas for reaching out
Pick up on cues: If your daughter wanders into the bra department, there’s likely a reason
Consider alternative means of communication: Many kids say they’d rather text, write a note about
a problem.
Anticipate: No one likes to rush things, but your children will be glad that you provided information about the stuff they don’t understand – and that
everyone is talking about.
Puberty checklist
O Be informed yourselfO Find multiple ways of communicatingO Do not tease or embarrassO Keep confidences
Be informed
Puberty starting slightly earlier
BOYSO Between 9 and 14
GIRLSO Between 8 and 13O First period: Most around 12-13O First period can arrive as early as 9 and as old as 16.
Be informed
O Consider norms – leg shaving, types of bras, deodorant, boxers?
Find multiple ways of communicating
O Appropriate websites – KidsHealth, Pink Locker Society, Brainpop,
O BooksO Multiple conversationsO Keep it light and positive and
consider privacy.
Book recommendations
No teasing or embarrassing
O It’s natural, but avoid it. O Teasing sends the message that you do
not take them or their problems seriously
O Strive to keep confidences and be sensitive about sharing with opposite gender parent, siblings, grandparents etc.
Confidence: How Parents
Can HelpO Be in tune with your child, know their
struggles.
O Expand your idea of “achievement.” (Let your child lead.)
O Help kids and teens set the right goals.
True achievement builds confidence.
Remember Evan?
•Underwent years of treatment
•Day-in, day-out dealing with a front-and-center difference
•Developed a desire to explain and promote understanding
Remember Emily-Anne?
•Bullied
•Changed schools
•Struggled to fit in
With Meryl
And Lady Gaga
Emily with Mom and Dad
Evan and his Mom