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TRANSCRIPT
Q: HOW CAN YOU DEFEND YOURSELF UNDER WATER?
A: CARRY A SWORD FISH!
Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS GLUESTICKS AND FISH?
A: FISHSTICKS!
Q: WHY CAN’T A NOSE BE 12 INCHES LONG?
A: BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE A FOOT!
Q: WHY ARE SHELLFISH SO STRONG?
A: BECAUSE OF THEIR MUSCLES!
Q: WHAT DID ONE INSECT SAY TO THE OTHER?
A: YOU BUG ME!
Q: WHAT DOES AN ALLIGATOR COOK IN?
A: A CROCK-POT!
Q: WHY DID THE FOOT SMILE?
A: HE WAS TOE HAPPY!
Q: WHAT DID THE THREAD SAY TO THE SPOOL?
A: I’M ALL WOUND UP!
Q: WHAT DID THE LITTLE GIRL’S RIBBON BECOME IN THE RAIN?
A: A RAINBOW!
Q: WHAT DID THE MOTHER BEAR SAY TO HER CUB?
A: DON’T GO OUT IN YOUR BEAR FEET!
Q: WHAT DID THE TICK SAY TO THE CLOCK?
A: WHAT ARE YOU TOCKING ABOUT?!?
Q: WHEN ARE STEPS RUDE?
A: WHEN THEY STAIR (STARE)!
Q: WHAT DID THE TOAST SAY TO THE KNIFE?
A: BUTTER ME UP!
Q: WHAT DID THE BUCK CALL HIS WIFE?
A: DEER!
Q: HOW DO YOU GET A TALKATIVE SHIRT TO BE QUIET?
A: BUTTON IT UP!
Q: WHEN DO YOU PUT A BUG ON YOUR BREAD?
A: WHEN IT’S A BUTTER-FLY!
Q: WHY CAN’T AN ELEPHANT FORGET?
A: HE HAS A TRUNK FULL OF MEMORIES!
Q: HOW DOES A DENTIST EXAMINE ALLIGATOR’S TEETH?
A: VERY CAREFULLY!
Q: WHAT FISH ARE THE MOST VALUABLE?
A: GOLDFISH!
Q: WHAT HAS FOUR LEGS BUT CAN’T WALK?
A: A TABLE!
Q: WHY DID THE CURTAIN IGNORE THE WINDOW?
A: BECAUSE HE WAS A PANE!
Q: WHY DID THE TWIN ELEPHANTS HAVE TO LEAVE THE BEACH?
A: THEY ONLY HAD A PAIR OF TRUNKS!
Q: WHAT DID THE MUSTARD SAY WHEN IT WAS LEFT BEHIND?
A: DON’T WAIT FOR ME, I’LL KETCHUP!
Q: WHAT BOOK HAS THE MOST WORDS IN IT?
A: THE DICTIONARY!
Q: A MAN WENT TO THE BEACH BUT FORGOT HIS LUNCH - WHAT DID HE EAT?
A: A SAND - WICH!
Q: WHY DID THE CAT WANT TO BECOME A NURSE?
A: IT WANTED TO BE A FIRST AID KIT!
Q: WHAT DID THE TEAM THINK ABOUT THEIR STADIUM BEING COVERED?
A: IT WAS A DOME IDEA!
Q: WHAT LIES ON ITS BACK 100 FEET IN THE AIR?
A: A CENTIPEDE!
Q: WHAT KINDS OF CATS LIKE TO GO BOWLING?
A: ALLEY CATS!
Q: WHAT LIES ON ITS BACK A MILLION FEET IN THE AIR?
A: A MILLIPEDE!
Q: WHAT DO KITTENS PUT ON THEIR BURGERS?
A: CATSUP!
Q: WHAT’S A GORILLA’S FAVORITE FOOD?
A: APE-RICOTS!
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL IT IF A DOG GIVES YOU A BIG KISS?
A: POOCH SMOOCH!
Q: HOW DOES A FLOWER GET A BOAT ACROSS A LAKE?
A: IT ROSE (ROWS)!
Q: WHERE DO YOU LOOK FOR KITTENS IN THE LIBRARY?
A: IN THE CARD CAT-A-LOG!
Q: WHAT DID THE AUTHOR SAY ABOUT HIS NOVEL WHEN IT WAS FINISHED?
A: IT’S A COMPLETE MYSTERY!
Q: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CAT AND A FROG?
A: A CAT HAS NINE LIVES BUT A FROG CROAKS EVERY NIGHT!
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BUG WITH A SORE THROAT?
A: A HORSE (HOARSE) FLY!
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW THAT PLAYS GUITAR?
A: A MOOSICIAN!
Q: WHAT DO THE COWS DO WHEN THEY ARE FIRST INTRODUCED?
A: THEY GIVE EACH OTHER A MILKSHAKE!
Q: WHAT HAS TEETH BUT CAN NOT BITE?
A: A COMB!
Q: HOW DO BULLS DRIVE CARS?
A: THEY STEER THEM!
Q: WHAT KIND OF CLOTHES DO FROGS WEAR?
A: JUMPSUITS!
Q: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GO INSIDE WITH A SNOWSUIT ON?
A: IT MELTS!
Q: WHAT DID THE GUM SAY TO THE SHOE?
A: I’M STUCK ON YOU!
Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A POLICEMAN WITH A SKUNK?
A: LAW AND ODOR!
Q: HOW DO YOU CUT THE SEA IN HALF?
A: WITH A SEE-SAW!
Q: HOW DO YOU BRUSH A BEE’S HAIR?
A: WITH A HONEY COMB!
Q: HOW MANY APPLES GROW ON A TREE?
A: ALL OF THEM!
Q: WHAT DO YOU FEED A DISAPPEARING CAT?
A: EVAPORATED MILK!
Q: WHY DID THE BANANA SPLIT?
A: BECAUSE IT SAW THE MILKSHAKE!
Q: WHY SHOULDN’T YOU PLAY HIDE-N-SEEK WITH A LEOPARD?
A: YOU’LL ALWAYS BE SPOTTED!
Q: WHAT DOES AN AARDVARK LIKE ON ITS PIZZA?
A: ANT-CHOVIES!
Q: WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A CENTIPEDE AND A PARROT?
A: A WALKIE-TALKIE!
Q: WHAT IS BLACK AND WHITE AND BLUE ALL OVER?
A: A ZEBRA AT THE NORTH POLE!
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A CAT IN A STATION WAGON?
A: A CAR-PET!
Q: HOW DO RABBITS TRAVEL?
A: BY HAREPLANE!
Q: WHERE DO BABY COWS EAT LUNCH?
A: THE CALF-ETERIA!
Q: WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A SHEEP AND A PORCUPINE?
A: AN ANIMAL THAT KNITS HIS OWN SWEATERS!
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A CROCODILE THAT LIKES TO BOWL?
A: AN ALLEY-GATOR!
Q: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A KANGAROO GETS ANGRY?
A: HE GETS HOPPING MAD!
Q: WHY COULDN’T THE SKELETON GO THE PARTY?
A: HE HAD NO BODY TO GO WITH!
Q: WHAT ARE FROGS’ FAVORITE KINDS OF SHOES?
A: OPEN TOAD SHOES!
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A CANINE THAT LIVES AT THE BEACH?
A: A HOT DOG!
Q: WHAT KIND OF BALL WON’T BOUNCE?
A: A SNOWBALL!
Q: WHERE DOES A POLAR BEAR KEEP HIS MONEY?
A: IN A SNOW BANK!
Q: WHAT IS THE LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER’S FAVORITE INSTRUMENT?
A: THE FOGHORN!
Q: WHAT’S THE HARDEST THING ABOUT LEARNING TO RIDE A BIKE?
A: THE PAVEMENT!
Q: DID YOU HEAR THE JOKE ABOUT THE BANANA PEEL?
A: NEVER MIND, IT SLIPPED MY MIND!
Q: WHAT DID THE DIAMONDS NAME THEIR BABY?
A: JULES!
Q: WHY DID THE INNER TUBE TAKE A NAP?
A: HE WAS TIRED!
Q: WHAT DID THE MONEY NAME HIS KID?
A: BUCK!
Q: WHAT DID THE OREGANO’S NAME THEIR KID?
A: HERB!
Q: WHAT DID THE HOT DOGS NAME THEIR KID?
A: FRANK!
Q: WHY WAS THE POUND SO PATIENT?
A: HE WAS USED TO WEIGHING!
Q: WHAT DID THE FISH NAME ITS KID?
A: GILL!
Q: WHY WAS THE DOCTOR SO CALM?
A: HE HAD PATIENTS (PATIENCE)!
Q: HOW DID THE BELL ASK HIS GIRLFRIEND TO GET MARRIED?
A: HE GAVE HER A RING!
Q: WHAT DO CHICKENS GATHER THE SEASHORE?
A: EGGSHELLS!
Q: WHY ARE STORK DOCTORS SO EXPENSIVE?
A: THEY HAVE BIG BILLS!
Q: WHAT WAS THE BLACKSMITH’S FAVORITE MUSIC?
A: HEAVY METAL!
Q: WHY DIDN’T THE ROOSTER CROSS THE ROAD?
A: HE WAS CHICKEN!
Q: WHAT DID THE MAPLE TREES NAME THEIR KID?
A: WOODY!
Q: WHY DOES A HUMMINGBIRD HUM?
A: HE DOESN’T KNOW THE WORDS!
Q: WHY COULDN’T THE BAKER BUY A NEW CAR?
A: HE DIDN’T MAKE ENOUGH DOUGH!
Q: WHY DID THE TURKEY HAVE TO LEAVE THE SUPPER TABLE?
A: HE WAS GOBBLING HIS FOOD!
Q: WHAT DID THE RIVER NAME HER BABY?
A: BROOK!
Q: WHY DOES A QUARTER FLIP HIGHER THAN OTHER COINS?
A: IT HAS AN EAGLE ON IT!
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A SLEEPING COW?
A: A BULLDOZER!
Q: WHY DO OWLS ALWAYS GET INVITED TO BIRD PARTIES?
A: THEY’RE SUCH A HOOT!
Q: WHY DID THE FARMER PLAY MUSIC IN HIS YARD?
A: HE WANTED TO SEE A BARN DANCE!
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A SMART A DUCK?
A: A WISE QUACKER!
Q: WHAT DID THE PAINTER NAME HIS KID?
A: ART!
Q: WHAT BIRD HAS THE WORST MANNERS?
A: A MOCKING BIRD!
Q: WHAT KIND OF BIRD STICKS TO SWEATERS?
A: A VEL-CROW!
Q: WHAT ARE THE SMARTEST ANIMALS?
A: FISH, BECAUSE THEY STAY IN SCHOOLS!
Q: WHAT DID THE WHALE DO WHEN HE GOT MAD?
A: HE BLEW HIS TOP!
Q: WHAT DID THE BEE NAME HIS KID?
A: BUZZ!
Q: WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE SHARK BECAME FAMOUS?
A: HE BECAME A STARFISH!
Q: WHAT’S THE BEST SIDE OF THE HOUSE TO PUT THE PORCH ON?
A: THE OUTSIDE!
Q: WHY DID THE MOTHER CLAM SCOLD HER CHILDREN?
A: THEY WERE BEING SHELLFISH!
Q: WHAT SHOE SHOULD YOU PUT ON FIRST?
A: RIGHT, THE OTHER ONE SHOULD BE LEFT!
Q: WHY DID THE FISH HAVE A BAD REPORT CARD?
A: BECAUSE ALL OF HIS GRADES WERE UNDER “C”!
Q: WHAT WAS THE KITE’S FAVORITE INSTRUMENT?
A: THE STRINGS!
Q: WHAT FISH GOES BEST WITH PEANUT BUTTER?
A: JELLYFISH!
Q: WHAT ARE THE FISHERMAN’S FAVORITE KIND OF MOVIES?
A: ROW-MANCE!
Q: WHY ARE THERE CURRENTS IN THE OCEAN?
A: BECAUSE OF THE ELECTRIC EELS!
Q: WHAT DID THE DOG SAY TO THE FLEA?
A: YOU BUG ME!
Q: WHAT IS A CAT’S FAVORITE VEGETABLE?
A: AS-PURR-AGUS!
Q: WHY DID THE FISH HAVE A BAD REPORT CARD?
A: BECAUSE ALL OF HIS GRADES WERE UNDER “C”!
Q: WHAT IS A CAT’S FAVORITE DESSERT?
A: PIE A LA MEOW’D!
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE DOG WHO WENT TO THE FLEA CIRCUS?
A: HE STOLE THE SHOW!
Q: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAT WHO ATE A BALL OF YARN?
A: SHE HAD MITTENS!
Q: WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW?
A: SPOILED MILK!
Q: HOW DOES A FARMER KNOW HOW MANY COWS HE HAS?
A: HE USES A COWCULATOR!
Q: WHAT HAS TREE HORNS AND GIVES MILK?
A: A COW DRIVING A CAR!
Q: WHAT DID THE DOUGHNUT SAY TO THE LOAF OF BREAD?
A: I WISH I HAD AS MUCH DOUGH AS YOU!
Q: WHAT FALLS DOWN BUT NEVER GETS HURT?
A: RAIN!
Q: WHY IS A BAD JOKE LIKE A DULL PENCIL?
A: IT HAS NO POINT!
Q: WHAT WAS THE BOULDER’S FAVORITE MUSIC?
A: HARD ROCK!
Q: WHAT DID THE MUSICIAN USE TO WRITE WITH?
A: CYMBALS (SYMBOLS)!