PTSD: The Flashbacks You Never Wanted to HavePresenters: Rose Hart, Cynthia McGuigan & Kat Nielsen

March 28, 2015

American Adoption Congress

36th Annual Conference: Educate, Advocate and Legislate

Cambridge MA.

Cynthia McGuigan

• President & Conference Chair of AAC

• Financial Associate Harvard University

• First mom to 31 yr. Son

• Married Birth Father 25 years

• Mom to 3 daughters

• Working toward Master Program at Harvard

Survey

325 respondents

Years placed 1940 – after 2000

Age range younger than 14 – 29

Q1: What year did you relinquish your child for adoption?

Answered: 325 Skipped: 0

How old were you when your child was born

Answered: 325 Skipped: 0

Was this your first child?

Answered: 325 Skipped: 0

Did you have contact with your family?

Answered: 141 Skipped: 184

While pregnant or after placement did you have to invent a story about your condition or hide?

Answered: 312 Skipped: 13

Did you have to conceal your identity?

Answered: 156 Skipped: 169

Were you told to forget your child?

Answered: 325 Skipped: 0

Did you ever receive counseling in regards to the relinquishment and loss?

Answered: 325 Skipped: 0

Did anyone acknowledge your grief?

Answered: 325 Skipped: 0

Did you ever mourn your child?

Answered: 325 Skipped: 0

Did you feel shamed by yourself, society, family or peers?

Answered: 325 Skipped: 0

Are you still concealing your pregnancy and adoption of your child with family or others.

Answered: 320 Skipped: 5

A mental health condition that is triggered by a terrifying event. Many people who go through traumatic events have difficulty adjusting and coping for a while. But with time and taking Care of themselves, such traumatic reactions usually get better. In some cases, though, the symptoms can get worse or last for months or even years. Sometimes they may completely shake up your life. In this case you may have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder .Getting treatment as soon as possible may prevent PtSD.

Source Mayo Clinic

What is

PTSD:

Risk Factors:

Being Female

Experience long lasting trauma earlier in life

Lacking good support system or family and friends

Having other mental problems

Having first – degree relatives with mental health problems

Having first – degree relative with depression

Having been abused or neglected as a child

Source Mayo Clinic

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

andAcute Stress Disorder

VS

Adjustment Disordersand

Other Specified Trauma- and Stressor- Related Disorder

DSM 5

Traumatic Event Defined

“Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence”

DSM 5

Symptom Categories

Intrusion

Recurrent, Involuntary, & Distressing memories or dreams

Psychological or Physiological distress at similar or symbolic cues

Avoidance

Efforts to avoid memories, thoughts, feelings, and external reminders

Negative Cognition and mood

Inability to remember

Distored belief regarding the cause or future

Loss of interest

Inability to experience positive emotions

Detachment/estrangement from others

Arousal and Reactivity Irritability

Anger

Reckless or self destructive behavior

Hypervigilance

Increased startle response

Concentration problems

Sleep disturbance

Dissociation Detachment from oneself

Detachment from surroundings

Did you avoid events, special occasion and things that reminded you of your experiences

Answered: 325 Skipped: 0

The Voices of the Moms

“I was in the hospital giving birth on Christmas and signed papers on New Year’s eve. Avoided Holidays ever since until reunion but still mostly avoid. I felt forgotten, thrown away treated like a criminal, shameful, severely depressed and very alone, like someone stole my soul. “

“I couldn’t attend any baby showers –or any events related to the birth of a child. I hated myself and everyone else for what happened. My grief was complete. I had a tubular ligation at age 26 so I could not have any more children. I felt horrible I was horrible to have let her go. “

“I went to baby showers of friends but didn’t feel comfortable because I couldn’t discuss my pregnancy or birth”

Feeling emotionally numb

The Voices of the Moms

Numb, Sad, Lonely heartbroken

I shut down emotionally and tried to forget

Cold, dead Two Suicide Attempts

Few feelings as I went into a state of numbness and denial…I suppose I did think about my baby but I have no memories of doing so. Never spoke of her or my experiences to anyone. My goal was graduate and get a job. To be the perfect daughter after Such a disappointment to my parents

Did you experience hopelessness about the future?

Answered: 321 Skipped: 4

Did you have problems concentrating after placement?

Answered: 325 Skipped: 0

Did you experience unusual anger or irritability?

Answered: 323 Skipped: 2

The voices of mom’s

Disbelief to anger to grief and I fluctuate between grief and anger

Complications of PTSD

Mental/Psychological May place you in a higher risk for the following:

Depression

Drug Abuse

Alcohol Abuse

Eating disorders

Suicidal thoughts and actions

Physical

May place you in a higher risk for the following health conditions:

Cardiovascular disease

Chronic Pain

Autoimmune diseases: rheumatoid and thyroid disease

Musculoskeletal conditions

Source Mayo Clinic

“Because of Society’s expectations many mothers have felt guilt and selfish for mourning their lost Children and Trying to find them ..Only when they are given the Permission by society to grieve can they begin to deal with the loss of their children and go on to take the steps towards resolving their grief.source Adoption and Loss: The Hidden Grief, Evelyn Burns Robinson

Why

Were

WE

Impacted?

What has helped others to move forward?

Counseling

Books

Other children

Being in Reunion and coming out of the fog

Family, Church, Friends

Advanced education

Professional Work

Support Groups

AAC Conferences

Faith

Meeting other Moms

Others have not felt they can move forward.

Voice of the Mom’s

Move Forward? No I do not think ever be able to do that. But talking about it, joining a support group and being honest with myself and my feelings regarding the adoption has helped.

I do not know If moving forward is the right words. I have come to accept my situation most of the time whereas before I ignored it. That was the only way I could move through life. I never forget my daughter nor did I try to forget. I just stopped talking about her. As soon as my daughter turned 18 I filled out ISRR and 12 years later she did also. That is how reunited And reunion

Finding other moms of loss gas been a great help. They are the only ones who truly get it. Reading blogs of adoptees/moms and reading books on loss and reunion has also been helpful

Read adoption related materials and research

Attend adoption workshops/conferences

Seek out adoption CEU classes

Participate in local adoption support groups

Suggests of what we can we do to heal?

Counseling

Thank You

I want to thank the 325 respondents who took the time to answer the survey. Their help and information provided me with the necessary facts and documentation to support my workshop.

I want to also thank Susan H., Maz, Rose, Wendy, and Denise for their great input, feedback and support. Thank you for also proofreading my work and finding my errors.

Finally thank you to all of you for attending. I hope you go away with knowledge that can help you in your healing, relationships and to educate others.

Questions?

Any Question or Comments?