professional development workshops - shluchim office · professional development workshops: praise...

Professional Development Workshops:

Developed by CECE

Praise vs. Encouragement This workshop introduces the nuances of differences

between typical praise and encouragement.

Professional Development Workshops: Praise vs. Encouragement

| CECE Summer 2015

Facilitator Tips

It is important that everyone’s voice is heard in these conversations. Give everyone 1-3 minutes to

think about and write down what they will share. The benefit of this is that everyone prepares

something to say. And they will not be thinking about what they will say when others are sharing; they

can fully participate in the conversation.

During the time of silence (when they are thinking about what to share), make sure it is absolutely

silent and everyone is using the time to write ideas. (It is not the time to check texts).

Make sure everyone has a turn to share. You might the staff to pair up and share one idea with their

partner. Then the partner shares the idea with all. The benefit of this is that everyone’s ideas are

heard. And, when sharing the ideas with partner, the ideas get clarified a bit before sharing it before

the entire group. This might also be helpful for those who don’t like to share their own ideas out loud.

It is very important to highlight the current successes in your school. This validates and affirms their

efforts, before asking them to bring in new changes. Do not allow this time to be hijacked by ‘we

should do it differently’.

Acknowledge their individual efforts, insights, and current work.

Recognize that change may be difficult and there may be some initial resistance. Plan for that.

About the Worksheets

The worksheets are versatile so you can adapt. We provide an idea of how it might be used.

We encourage you to include your own examples around areas that you hope to change in your

school.


| CECE Summer 2015

Intro

Part 1 | Klalei Chinuch v’Hadracha

The Rebbeim talk about the importance of Chinuch, and the teacher's role in determining what is truly in the children's best interest and how to best present it. In this workshop, we will explore this overarching concept in the realm of PRAISE. From Klalei Chinuch v'Hadracha chapter about praise: chabad.org/library > Chasidic Texts > (view all) > The Principle of Education and Guidance > The 7th Provision: Praise and Reward http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/115360/jewish/The-7th-Provision-Praise-and-Reward.htm

“An educator or counsellor must be most deliberate in choosing the form of his praise and reproof, and in his manner of dispensing reward and punishment to both bad and good pupils.”

“The receptiveness of a pupil to his education and guidance - and as a

result, the success of his education and guidance - are dependent upon an

educator's and counsellor's efforts in this regard.”

“Praise and compliments uplift a pupil, extricating him from his present

situation, placing him on a higher plateau. And recompense in the form of

a good reward, motivate and invigorate a student, animating him with a

yearning to ascend from level to level, in both his studies and conduct.”


| CECE Summer 2015

Explore the word ‘praise’:

Part 2 | Discussion and Worksheet

| Discuss:

A way to truly explore a concept is to find synonyms, antonyms, etymology (origin of word), common usage, the word in other languages, taking the concept to extremes.

| Exercise:

Create a Word Cloud of words related to Praise. Give out worksheet 1. They should begin to fill out each section. As they write in words, they

choose a few to write on post-its and share with the group. Put the post-it-notes on large paper in middle of the table or on the

board. Sort according to categories on the worksheet. Throughout the entire workshop, you can add words to the Word

Cloud. (See Appendix 1 for 'Some suggestions for Word Cloud - Praise'.)


| CECE Summer 2015

Discuss the Objective of Praise

Part 3 | Discuss

What do we hope will happen because of our praise? What are our intentions? What are our motives?

Write their thoughts on the board – on separate lines. [Some possibilities: encourage - positive reinforcement of appropriate behaviors – children should have self-respect – boost children's confidence – help children know what are good actions/ behaviors – develop relationship/ mutual regard]

| Discuss: Be painfully honest. What are our intentions with the praise?

Manipulating children. Is it possible that telling kids they’ve done a good job may have less to do with their emotional needs than with our convenience?

Rheta DeVries, a professor of education at the University of Northern Iowa, refers to this as “sugar-coated control.” Very much like tangible rewards – or, for that matter, punishments – it’s a way of doing something to children to get them to comply with our wishes.

The reason praise can work in the short run is that young children are hungry for our approval. But we have a responsibility not to exploit that dependence for our own convenience. A “Good job!” to reinforce something that makes our lives a little easier can be an example of taking advantage of children’s dependence. Kids may also come to feel manipulated by this, even if they can’t quite explain why.


| CECE Summer 2015

Explore Typical ways of Praising


| Discuss:

We will look at typical words/ phrases of praise and encouragement that just roll off our tongues. How they might land on the child? How do they impact his sense of self, motivation, how he understands the world. Through the conversation, we will identify some differences between praise and encouragement. And also touch on some negative effects of praise.

| Exercise:

Begin to compile 'Instead of … Say this…' Give out worksheet 2. Do not write anything on it during this exercise. Ask participants to write typical praises on separate post-its. Then, discuss each one separately. How might a child perceive/

receive that praise. (see Talking Points 2 - 'Pitfalls of Typical Praise') Determine together if that sentence belongs in the 'instead of …'

column or in the 'rather say...' Is it more of a praise or encouragement?

| Discuss: Children need unconditional support. Many of those in the 'instead of...' column are conditional: you get my praise (attention, acknowledgment, approval) if you do [whatever]

| Summarize:

What are differences between praise and encouragement. (Talking Points 1 – Differences between Praise and Encouragement.)

Optional: Create a word cloud for Encourage. (See Appendix 2 for 'Some suggestions for Word Cloud – Encourage'.)

| Discuss: Other negative effects of praise from the Talking Points 2 - 'Pitfalls of

Typical Praise' that were not brought up during the exercise.


| CECE Summer 2015

Discuss the Whys and Hows of Effective Encouragement


| Discuss: The hows of effective encouragement. Praise is like sugar. A little is okay, a lot hurts us. (From hereon, let's try to avoid using the word 'praise' and use the umbrella 'encouragement'.)

(See Talking Points 3 - 'Effective Encouragement') A quick synopsis from the talking points: Recognize the good in people. And comment on it (or not).

Recognize the good in people; Look out for it o Benefit to the noticer

What to encourage. o What may not need reinforcement

Overall o Be specific o Wait for the child o Keep it real

What to say o Describe and Summarize o Talk less, Ask more o Acknowledge the process, not the person o Show how their actions impacted others

Explore effective encouragement for different scenarios. | Exercise: Let's bring all this into our preschool classrooms.

Divide the group into smaller groups. Give each group a few scenarios (see Appendix 3) Complete worksheet 2.

o We provide the worksheet in Publisher so you can edit it. You may want to emphasize ‘Time of Day’ and/or ‘Working in Centers’ or other scenarios relevant to your school. You may also want to include a scenario about Co-workers.

o You may want to write up the scenario or have the teachers come up with the scenario.

Each group should share with the entire group. Discuss what is less effective about the 'instead of..' and what make the 'rather say this' more effective. Discuss other ways to say the same thing.

Add to the worksheets. Optional: add a few co-worker scenarios to the conversation.

| Wrapping it Up

Gather all worksheets and make a master lists for all.


| CECE Summer 2015

Talking Points: 1

Difference between Praise and Encouragement

Does praise motivate kids? Sure. It motivates kids to get praise. Alas, that’s often at the expense of commitment to whatever they were doing that prompted the praise.

Praise Encouragement

1 is laden with value judgments regarding an individual’s worth as a person

focuses on specific behavior

2 emphasizes external rewards emphasizes self-pride (intrinsic)

3 focus primarily on the final product — on winning a trophy or praise

acknowledges effort / self-discipline / gradual steps toward accomplishment

4 communicates faith in a child’s abilities. It communicates positive expectations

5 long-range effect of praise is dependence on others

long-range effect of encouragement is self-confidence

1. Praise is often laden with value judgments regarding an individual’s

worth as a person, “You are such a good girl. You are a nice person.” In contrast, encouragement focuses on specific behavior: “You put all your books away. Now they won’t get stepped on and torn. Way to be organized!”

2. Encouragement emphasizes self-pride rather than external rewards. The

focus shifts from stressing the need to please others to the importance of meeting personal goals and expectations. Example: “You made it all the way through the obstacle course. Smart thinking. You can be proud of yourself!”

3. Encouragement acknowledges effort as a child works toward

accomplishment. Children are supported throughout the process of learning and excelling: “You’re passing food at our table without spilling. What good concentration.” Praise tends to focus primarily on the final product — on winning a trophy or ribbon. Taken to an extreme it’s easy for children to acquire the attitude that “winning is not everything; it’s the only thing.” They may perceive that developing a skill is only worthwhile when they can be better than everyone else. Chronically discouraged children think any means justifies the end in order to win and satisfy their need for praise. Praise dependent children are in danger of developing warped values regarding fair play and the spirit of true sportsmanship. Encouragement highlights ongoing effort and self-discipline. Gradual steps toward competence are celebrated. Example: “You’re playing so gently with your baby sister. That’s a great way to help her trust you.” When we focus on effort, in addition to results, we help children realize


| CECE Summer 2015

that the process of attaining a goal can be as rewarding as achieving a goal. (Haven’t we heard as much from accomplished people who say success is a journey, not a destination?)

4. Encouragement communicates faith in a child’s abilities. It

communicates positive expectations: “You’ve got a good eye for how pieces fit together. You’re going to get that puzzle together soon.”

5. Jane Nelson, in the book Positive Discipline sums it up this way: “The long-

range effect of encouragement is self-confidence. The long-range effect of praise is dependence on others.


| CECE Summer 2015

Talking Points: 2

Pitfalls of Typical Praise

More generally, “Good job!” is a remnant of an approach to psychology that reduces all of human life to behaviors that can be seen and measured. Unfortunately, this ignores the thoughts, feelings, and values that lie behind behaviors. For example, a child may share a snack with a friend as a way of attracting praise, or as a way of making sure the other child has enough to eat. Praise for sharing ignores these different motives. Worse, it actually promotes the less desirable motive by making children more likely to fish for praise in the future.

1. Praise Junkies They might become dependent on praise. They might become over-eager for approval from others.

2. Feel insecure Students who were praised lavishly by their teachers were more

tentative in their responses, more apt to answer in a questioning tone of voice (“Um, seven?”). They tended to back off from an idea they had proposed as soon as an adult disagreed with them. And they were less likely to persist with difficult tasks or share their ideas with other students.

3. Praise feels like judgment We may not have realized that “Good job!” is just

as much an evaluation as “Bad job!” The most notable feature of a positive judgment isn’t that it’s positive, but that it’s a judgment. And people, including kids, don’t like being judged.

4. Lose interest An impressive body of scientific research has shown that the

more we reward people for doing something, the more they tend to lose interest in whatever they had to do to get the reward. Now the point isn’t to draw, to read, to think, to create – the point is to get the goody, whether it’s an ice cream, a sticker, or a “Good job!”

5. Warped Values Praise dependent children are in danger of developing

warped values regarding fair play and the spirit of true sportsmanship. They might do or say anything that will get them their quota of praise for the day; they may be hard to trust. Also, they may perceive that developing a skill is only worthwhile when they can be better than everyone else.

6. Too dependent on praise as motivator Sometimes they are so dependent on

praise, they won’t perform (behave) without it. 7. Reducing achievement. If overpraised for too little effort, they may not strive

beyond minimal expectations. Praise creates pressure to “keep up the good work” that gets in the way of doing so. Partly because their interest in what they’re doing may have declined. Partly because they become less likely to take risks – a prerequisite for creativity – once they start thinking about how to keep those positive comments coming.


| CECE Summer 2015

Talking Points: 3

Effective Encouragement

Recognize the good in people; Look out for it.

Seek and you shall find. Look for tiny incremental progress. Describe what you observe, not only 'praiseworthy' results. Benefit to the noticer: helps us see the best in others and by actually

naming it and talking about it, it gives it more energy. What to encourage.

Effort – progress – persistence - determination The process – initiative – reaching goal What may not need reinforcement: Some people insist a helpful act

must be “reinforced” because, secretly or unconsciously, they believe it was a fluke. If children are basically evil, then they have to be given an artificial reason for being nice (namely, to get a verbal reward). But if that cynicism is unfounded – and a lot of research suggests that it is – then praise may not be necessary.

Overall

Be specific: Specific descriptions are by definition not exaggerated, so they are not easily dismissed. They are not empty or hollow because they are rich in content. The child knows you are paying attention because you are describing in detail. When they hear vague praise, they think it sounds hollow.

Wait until the child shares her pleasure in her work before doling out praise. Apart from the issue of dependence, a child deserves to take delight in her accomplishments, to feel pride in what she’s learned how to do. She also deserves to decide when to feel that way. Every time we say, “Good job!”, though, we’re telling a child how to feel.

Keep it real. Offer authentic praise for real achievements. Don't say, "That must have taken a lot of effort" when it clearly did not. When they hear exaggerated praise, they dismiss it.

What to say Describe and Summarize

Describe in detail what you noticed. “You heard the 'clean up' song and right away started to put the blocks in their right places.”

Summarize. Name the quality of strength of the child's action. “I saw persistence”, “That took initiative”, “That was so considerate”

Example: "Look at all the different ways you're trying to make that piece fit in your puzzle. You're working hard to figure it out, aren't you?"


| CECE Summer 2015

Talk less, ask more. Even better than descriptions are questions. Why tell him what part of

his drawing impressed you when you can ask him what he likes best about it? Asking “What was the hardest part to draw?” or “How did you figure out how to make the feet the right size?” is likely to nourish his interest in drawing.

Acknowledge the process, not the person A. Acknowledge the strategy (e.g., "You found a really good way to do

it.") B. Acknowledge with specificity (e.g., "You seem to know a lot about

frogs.") C. Acknowledge effort (e.g., "I can tell you've been practicing.")

His work and effort are being affirmed. When the teacher adds her emotional response to his work, he knows he has connected with her. His effort is recognized clearly and is truly appreciated.

Show how their actions impacted the other If a child does something caring or generous, you might gently draw his

attention to the effect of his action on the other person: “Look at Abigail’s face! She seems pretty happy now that you gave her some of your snack.”

“Thank you for sharing that thought with us. We now understand it better.”


| CECE Summer 2015

Appendix: 1

Some suggestions for Word Cloud - Praise

SYNONYMS

celebrate applaud cheer value commend

recognize appreciate compliment thank approve

admire congratulate give credit throw spotlight on

ANTONYMS

disapprove criticize blame

IN OTHER LANGUAGES (Hebrew/ Spanish, etc.)

הלל שבח

תודה זמר

תהילה ברכה

ETYMOLOGY (the origin of the word)

From Middle English praisen, preisen, from Old French proisier, preisier (“to value, prize”), from Late Latin pretiare (“to value, prize”) from price, worth, reward. Words from same origin: prize price

EXAMPLES / COMMON PHRASES that depict this word/ phrase

“Good job” “Super”

“You are so smart/ artistic.. “Kudos”

prizes student of the week

TAKING IT TO EXTREMES—How might someone do this to the maximum and to the minimum

neglect fail to notice disrespectful

sweet talk exaggerate brown-nose hype rave

fawn over flatter suck up con jack up


| CECE Summer 2015

Appendix: 2

Some suggestions for Word Cloud – Encourage

SYNONYMS

boost embolden reassure strengthen spur on restore enliven excite

rally push forward persuade inspire advocate endorse support promote

urge prod advance suggest/ recommend steer invigorate energize motivate

ANTONYMS

discourage dishearten hurt dissuade

weaken block dampen repress

deaden admonish punish

IN OTHER LANGUAGES (Hebrew/ Spanish, etc.)

encourage, cheer, promote, strengthen, invigorate, hearten- ְלעֹוֵדד adopt, strengthen, encourage, nerve, strain, stretch - ְלַאֵמץ stimulate, energize, spur, encourage, impel, urge - ְלַהמִריץ encourage, embolden, grant, man, reman - ְלַפְרגֵן

ETYMOLOGY (the origin of the word)

early 15c., from Old French encoragier "make strong, hearten," from en- "make, put in" + corage "heart, innermost feelings; temper," which remains a common metaphor for inner strength and bravery. Words from same origin: Courage

EXAMPLES / COMMON PHRASES that depict this word/ phrase

“Practice makes perfect” “You'll get it soon”

TAKING IT TO EXTREMES—How might someone do this to the maximum and to the minimum

neglect fail to notice

leave alone pushy

coerce bribe


| CECE Summer 2015

Appendix: 3

Typical Scenarios

TIMES OF DAY transitions circle time drop off dismissal (putting on coats) pick up snack meal going outside coming back inside walking to another room clean up time

CLASSROOM CENTERS/ LEARNING Art Blocks Dramatic Play Discovery/ Science Field Trips Outdoor Learning Literacy Math Music/ Movement

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