procrastination presentation

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PROCRASTINATION PROCRASTINATION Workshop Workshop Yaniv Phillips, Ph.D. Yaniv Phillips, Ph.D. Counseling and Psychological Counseling and Psychological Services Services

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Page 1: Procrastination Presentation

PROCRASTINATIONPROCRASTINATIONWorkshopWorkshop

Yaniv Phillips, Ph.D.Yaniv Phillips, Ph.D.Counseling and Psychological ServicesCounseling and Psychological Services

Page 2: Procrastination Presentation

I. What do people do when they I. What do people do when they procrastinate?procrastinate?

What is your style of procrastination?What is your style of procrastination?

I surf the netI surf the net I raid the refrigerator.I raid the refrigerator. I read books.I read books. I start calling up my friends.I start calling up my friends. I work on something that’s less important.I work on something that’s less important.

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What is your style of procrastination?What is your style of procrastination? (cont.) (cont.)

I become obsessed with cleaning my I become obsessed with cleaning my desk.desk.

I go out jogging.I go out jogging. I sit and stare.I sit and stare. I keep doing research.I keep doing research. I watch the TV.I watch the TV.

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What is your style of procrastination?What is your style of procrastination? (cont.) (cont.)

I read the newspaper.I read the newspaper. I go to sleep.I go to sleep. I go shopping.I go shopping. I check and write e-mails.I check and write e-mails. I listen to music.I listen to music.

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What excuses do you use when What excuses do you use when you procrastinate? you procrastinate?

I’m too tired right now. I’ll take a rest and I’m too tired right now. I’ll take a rest and then I’ll feel more like doing it.then I’ll feel more like doing it.

I don’t have enough time to do it all right I don’t have enough time to do it all right now, so there’s no point in starting.now, so there’s no point in starting.

I’ve got plenty of time to do it later.I’ve got plenty of time to do it later. I’ve got to organize my desk first.I’ve got to organize my desk first. It’s too nice a day to spend on this.It’s too nice a day to spend on this.

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Excuses (cont.)Excuses (cont.)

I don’t have the proper equipment.I don’t have the proper equipment. I’ve been working so hard—I deserve a I’ve been working so hard—I deserve a

break!break! It might not be good enough.It might not be good enough. If I wait, I can do a really first-class job.If I wait, I can do a really first-class job. I’ll wait until I’m inspired.I’ll wait until I’m inspired.

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Excuses (cont.)Excuses (cont.)

I need to exercise first.I need to exercise first. I need to keep up with what’s going on in I need to keep up with what’s going on in

the world, so I’d better read the the world, so I’d better read the newspaper.newspaper.

It’s too late in the week to start.It’s too late in the week to start. Why mail it Friday? No one will look at it Why mail it Friday? No one will look at it

until Monday anyway.until Monday anyway.

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Excuses (cont.)Excuses (cont.)

If I wait long enough, they’ll forget about it.If I wait long enough, they’ll forget about it. I’ll call later when the rates go down.I’ll call later when the rates go down. Why bother to ask? The answer will be Why bother to ask? The answer will be

“no” anyway.“no” anyway. I’ve done the worst part of it: the final step I’ve done the worst part of it: the final step

will be a breeze.will be a breeze. Two hundred years from now, will this Two hundred years from now, will this

really matter?really matter?

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The Cycle of ProcrastinationThe Cycle of Procrastination

1. “I’ll start early this time.”1. “I’ll start early this time.” 2. “I’ve got to start soon.”2. “I’ve got to start soon.” 3. “What if I don’t start?”3. “What if I don’t start?”

• a. “I should have started sooner.”a. “I should have started sooner.”• b. “I’m doing everything but…” (at least I’m getting b. “I’m doing everything but…” (at least I’m getting

something done)something done)

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The Cycle of Procrastination (cont.)The Cycle of Procrastination (cont.)

3. (cont.)3. (cont.)• c. “I cannot allow myself to enjoy anything.”c. “I cannot allow myself to enjoy anything.”• d. “I hope no one finds out.”d. “I hope no one finds out.”

4. “There is still time.” 4. “There is still time.”

5. “There is something wrong with me.”5. “There is something wrong with me.”

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The Cycle of Procrastination (cont.)The Cycle of Procrastination (cont.)

6. Final choice: To do or Not to do6. Final choice: To do or Not to doPath 1Path 1 Path 2Path 2

Not to doNot to do To doTo do

a.a.I can’t do this.I can’t do this. a. I can’t wait any a. I can’t wait any longerlonger

b.b.Why bother?Why bother? b. “This isn’t so bad, why b. “This isn’t so bad, why didn’t I start earlier?” didn’t I start earlier?”

c. Just get c. Just get it done: all night it done: all night cramming.cramming.

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The Cycle of Procrastination (cont.)The Cycle of Procrastination (cont.)

7.“I’ll never procrastinate again!”7.“I’ll never procrastinate again!”

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What are your assumptions about What are your assumptions about yourself?yourself?

What is your procrastination code?What is your procrastination code? I must be perfect.I must be perfect. Everything I do should go easily and Everything I do should go easily and

without effort.without effort. It’s safer to do nothing than to take a risk It’s safer to do nothing than to take a risk

and fail.and fail. I should have no limitations.I should have no limitations. If it’s not done right, it’s not worth doing at If it’s not done right, it’s not worth doing at

all.all.

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What is your procrastination code? (cont.)What is your procrastination code? (cont.)

I must avoid being challenged.I must avoid being challenged. If I do well this time, I must If I do well this time, I must alwaysalways do well do well.. Following someone else’s rules means I’m Following someone else’s rules means I’m

giving in and I’m not in control.giving in and I’m not in control. I can’t afford to let go of anything or I can’t afford to let go of anything or

anyone.anyone. If I expose my real self, people won’t like If I expose my real self, people won’t like

me.me.

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II. Procrastination is tricky because II. Procrastination is tricky because it usually involves:it usually involves:

Hidden maneuvers--such as when you do Hidden maneuvers--such as when you do too much research because you’re too much research because you’re avoiding the writing--so it might be hard to avoiding the writing--so it might be hard to recognize that there is procrastination recognize that there is procrastination happening.happening.

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A vicious cycle- avoiding the task leads to A vicious cycle- avoiding the task leads to guilt, fear of consequences and stress and guilt, fear of consequences and stress and the wish to avoid facing these unpleasant the wish to avoid facing these unpleasant feelings makes you walk away from the feelings makes you walk away from the task.task.

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Addressing ProcrastinationAddressing Procrastination

2-part approach:2-part approach: A. Recognizing all the parts of your A. Recognizing all the parts of your

procrastination persona—see the hidden procrastination persona—see the hidden maneuvers so they can be addressed. maneuvers so they can be addressed. This part focuses on behavior, and This part focuses on behavior, and strategies to change it.strategies to change it.

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Addressing Procrastination (cont.)Addressing Procrastination (cont.)

B. Begin to understand underlying B. Begin to understand underlying causes, which feed each person’s own causes, which feed each person’s own vicious cycle. Without some focus on vicious cycle. Without some focus on these root causes, the behavioral these root causes, the behavioral strategies will not have long-lasting strategies will not have long-lasting success.success.

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III. III. Why do you procrastinate? Why do you procrastinate? (Root causes)(Root causes)

Fear of FailureFear of Failure 1. 1. If I really try to write this, I/they will finally see I If I really try to write this, I/they will finally see I

am not as promising/ special/brilliant as my am not as promising/ special/brilliant as my parents/professors/ home town always thought I parents/professors/ home town always thought I was.was.

2. I cannot live up to my brother’s/father’s 2. I cannot live up to my brother’s/father’s brilliance/success.brilliance/success.

3. I will disappoint my uneducated parents who 3. I will disappoint my uneducated parents who worked so hard to help me get here.worked so hard to help me get here.

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Why do you procrastinate? (Root causes) Why do you procrastinate? (Root causes) (cont.)(cont.)

OR OR Fear of successFear of success

1.1. I feel guilty surpassing my mother/father.I feel guilty surpassing my mother/father.

2. I always had it easy and my sibling struggled. If I get this s/he 2. I always had it easy and my sibling struggled. If I get this s/he will really feel shame/left out.will really feel shame/left out.

3. In my family, the males were the successful ones, so if I (female) 3. In my family, the males were the successful ones, so if I (female) get there I leave my mother and sisters behind.get there I leave my mother and sisters behind.

4. I’ll lose friends/ will become a workaholic/ will lose my 4. I’ll lose friends/ will become a workaholic/ will lose my independence/ will become too predictable/ will become dull. independence/ will become too predictable/ will become dull.

5. I would have to make a lot of difficult decisions on my own.5. I would have to make a lot of difficult decisions on my own.

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IV. Strategies: a. Work to identify IV. Strategies: a. Work to identify underlying fears. underlying fears.

1. Do you procrastinate on matters in which you 1. Do you procrastinate on matters in which you are supposed to excel or in which you have are supposed to excel or in which you have little experience?little experience?

2. Are you aware of particular anxieties about 2. Are you aware of particular anxieties about the things you postpone?the things you postpone?

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Identify underlying fears (cont.)Identify underlying fears (cont.)

3. What would happen if you stopped 3. What would happen if you stopped procrastinating? How would you then deal procrastinating? How would you then deal with situations and other people differently?with situations and other people differently?

4. What if you do your best and you do not 4. What if you do your best and you do not excel?excel?

5. What are the dangers of your improving and 5. What are the dangers of your improving and succeeding? succeeding?

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What is your procrastination What is your procrastination code?code?

I must be perfect.I must be perfect. Everything I do should go easily and without effort.Everything I do should go easily and without effort. It’s safer to do nothing than to take a risk and fail.It’s safer to do nothing than to take a risk and fail. I should have no limitations.I should have no limitations. If it’s not done right, it’s not worth doing at all.If it’s not done right, it’s not worth doing at all. I must avoid being challenged.I must avoid being challenged. If I do well this time, I must If I do well this time, I must alwaysalways do well do well.. Following someone else’s rules means I’m giving in and Following someone else’s rules means I’m giving in and

I’m not in control.I’m not in control. I can’t afford to let go of anything or anyone.I can’t afford to let go of anything or anyone. If I expose my real self, people won’t like me.If I expose my real self, people won’t like me.

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What is your style of What is your style of procrastination?procrastination?

I surf the netI surf the netI raid the refrigerator.I raid the refrigerator.I read books.I read books.I start calling up my friends.I start calling up my friends.I work on something that’s less important.I work on something that’s less important.I become obsessed with cleaning my desk.I become obsessed with cleaning my desk.I go out jogging.I go out jogging.I sit and stare.I sit and stare.I keep doing research.I keep doing research.I watch the TV.I watch the TV.I read the newspaper.I read the newspaper.I go to sleep.I go to sleep.I go shopping.I go shopping.I check and write e-mailsI check and write e-mails

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What excuses do you use when What excuses do you use when you procrastinate?you procrastinate?

I’m too tired right now. I’ll take a rest and then I’ll feel more like doing it.I’m too tired right now. I’ll take a rest and then I’ll feel more like doing it. I don’t have enough time to do it all right now, so there’s no point in starting.I don’t have enough time to do it all right now, so there’s no point in starting. I’ve got plenty of time to do it later.I’ve got plenty of time to do it later. I’ve got to organize my desk first.I’ve got to organize my desk first. It’s too nice a day to spend on this.It’s too nice a day to spend on this. I don’t have the proper equipment.I don’t have the proper equipment. I’ve been working so hard—I deserve a break!I’ve been working so hard—I deserve a break! It might not be good enough.It might not be good enough. If I wait, I can do a really first-class job.If I wait, I can do a really first-class job. I’ll wait until I’m inspired.I’ll wait until I’m inspired. I need to exercise first.I need to exercise first. I need to keep up with what’s going on in the world, so I’d better read the newspaper.I need to keep up with what’s going on in the world, so I’d better read the newspaper. It’s too late in the week to start.It’s too late in the week to start. Why mail it Friday? No one will look at it until Monday anyway.Why mail it Friday? No one will look at it until Monday anyway. If I wait long enough, they’ll forget about it.If I wait long enough, they’ll forget about it. I’ll call later when the rates go down.I’ll call later when the rates go down. Why bother to ask? The answer will be “no” anyway.Why bother to ask? The answer will be “no” anyway. I’ve done the worst part of it: the final step will be a breeze.I’ve done the worst part of it: the final step will be a breeze. Two hundred years from now, will this really matter?Two hundred years from now, will this really matter?

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Time management—project Time management—project planning and follow throughplanning and follow through

A. Plan your daily schedule—Write down A. Plan your daily schedule—Write down everything you will do on that day. Make everything you will do on that day. Make sure to estimate the length of time you will sure to estimate the length of time you will engage in each activity and write when engage in each activity and write when you will start it and when you will end it.you will start it and when you will end it.

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Tuesday’s scheduleTuesday’s schedule Planned schedulePlanned schedule

7am7am 88 99 1010 1111 12pm12pm 11 22 33 44 55 66 77 88 99 1010 1111 12am12am 11

Actual scheduleActual schedule

7am7am 88 99 1010 1111 12pm12pm 11 22 33 44 55 66 77 88 99 1010 1111 12am12am 11

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Time management—project Time management—project planning and follow through (Cont.)planning and follow through (Cont.) B. Write down what you B. Write down what you actually actually did. Again, try did. Again, try

to be as specific in detailing all your actual to be as specific in detailing all your actual activities as you can, especially the length of activities as you can, especially the length of time you actually engaged in each one of them. time you actually engaged in each one of them.

C. Compare your plan with what you actually C. Compare your plan with what you actually did. What did you over- or under- estimate in did. What did you over- or under- estimate in your anticipated schedule, as compare with how your anticipated schedule, as compare with how long things actually took you? long things actually took you?

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5. To make change, you need to:5. To make change, you need to:

a. Go slowly and gradually. a. Go slowly and gradually.

b. Communicate with othersb. Communicate with others

c. Expect setbacks. Progress takes time.c. Expect setbacks. Progress takes time.

d. Pay attention to your resistances—it can d. Pay attention to your resistances—it can teach you something important about yourself.teach you something important about yourself.

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Setting and Achieving goalsSetting and Achieving goals

a. Set a concrete, specific and observable a. Set a concrete, specific and observable goal.goal.

b. Select only one behavioral goal--b. Select only one behavioral goal--and and only oneonly one-- for the next 2 weeks. -- for the next 2 weeks.

c. Small steps. Break down your goal to c. Small steps. Break down your goal to mini-goals. mini-goals.

d. Take a photo of your progress. d. Take a photo of your progress. e. Stick to a Time Limit you set for your goal.e. Stick to a Time Limit you set for your goal.

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Following through with your projectFollowing through with your project

a. Watch for your excuses. a. Watch for your excuses.

b. Self-Monitor your Thinking—One step at a Time. b. Self-Monitor your Thinking—One step at a Time.

c. Don’t Abandon the Project– Get Past the First Part.c. Don’t Abandon the Project– Get Past the First Part.

d. Reward Yourself for progressd. Reward Yourself for progress

e. Be flexible about your goale. Be flexible about your goal

f. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done.f. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be done.

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Time Management Strategies Time Management Strategies Estimate time correctly and realisticallyEstimate time correctly and realistically..

a. Practice telling time-- the schedule a. Practice telling time-- the schedule exercise should help with this goal.exercise should help with this goal.

b. Anticipate interruptions.b. Anticipate interruptions. c. Don’t spread yourself too thinc. Don’t spread yourself too thin d. Identify your prime time—admit you d. Identify your prime time—admit you

have limits.have limits. e. Enjoy your free time and plan for it.e. Enjoy your free time and plan for it.

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Self-esteem and its relationship Self-esteem and its relationship to procrastinationto procrastination

Self-worth = Ability = performance Self-worth = Ability = performance ““If I perform well, that means I have a lot of If I perform well, that means I have a lot of

ability, so I feel good about myself.” ability, so I feel good about myself.” Performance is so central to your self-Performance is so central to your self-

esteem.esteem.

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Self-esteem and its relationship Self-esteem and its relationship to procrastination (Cont.)to procrastination (Cont.)

Self-worth = Ability =/= Self-worth = Ability =/= (Procrastination) Performance.(Procrastination) Performance.

By procrastinating, you can continue to By procrastinating, you can continue to believe that your ability is greater than believe that your ability is greater than your performance indicates.your performance indicates.

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Who are the people who have Who are the people who have influenced you?influenced you?

Who among them represent your models Who among them represent your models for success? for success?

What about them made you think of them What about them made you think of them as being successful? as being successful?

How did they treat you? How did they How did they treat you? How did they treat themselves?treat themselves?

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who are the people who have who are the people who have influenced you? (Cont.)influenced you? (Cont.)

Who among them are your models for Who among them are your models for failure?failure?

Write a list of your models; write down Write a list of your models; write down

your ideas about them and how you think your ideas about them and how you think they’ve affected you and your they’ve affected you and your procrastination.procrastination.

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The role of your family in The role of your family in shaping who you areshaping who you are

What were your family expectations from What were your family expectations from you and what were their messages to you and what were their messages to you? you?

What are your current expectations of What are your current expectations of yourself? yourself?

See whether some of these early See whether some of these early assumptions and expectations of you assumptions and expectations of you became part of your inner “parental” became part of your inner “parental” voices.voices.

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The role of your family in The role of your family in shaping who you are (cont.)shaping who you are (cont.)

can you separate your family attitudes can you separate your family attitudes toward you from your own expectations of toward you from your own expectations of yourself? yourself?

Can you take your family attitudes as only Can you take your family attitudes as only oneone point of view out of many? point of view out of many?

How important to you are their How important to you are their expectations from you?expectations from you?

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5 primary familial themes5 primary familial themes

1. The pressuring theme1. The pressuring theme The “nothing you did is good enough” The “nothing you did is good enough”

attitude or the “everything you did was attitude or the “everything you did was extraordinary” attitude. extraordinary” attitude.

Procrastination is used to avoid any risk of Procrastination is used to avoid any risk of failure.failure.

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5 primary familial themes (cont.)5 primary familial themes (cont.)

2. The Doubting theme2. The Doubting theme In contrast to the pressure to achieve, this family In contrast to the pressure to achieve, this family

expresses uncertainty in your ability to expresses uncertainty in your ability to accomplish much. The “you don’t have what it accomplish much. The “you don’t have what it takes to succeed” attitude. takes to succeed” attitude.

a. Procrastination is used to confirm these a. Procrastination is used to confirm these doubts ordoubts or

b. Proving the family wrong and becoming a b. Proving the family wrong and becoming a perfectionist. Procrastination is used to protect perfectionist. Procrastination is used to protect against your own doubts in yourself, especially against your own doubts in yourself, especially fearing the “horrible” truth: that you can’t do it. fearing the “horrible” truth: that you can’t do it.

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5 primary familial themes (cont.)5 primary familial themes (cont.)

3. The Controlling Theme3. The Controlling Theme The controlling parents are invested in their The controlling parents are invested in their

child’s successes but they often ignore the child’s successes but they often ignore the child’s own wishes. Independence is child’s own wishes. Independence is discouraged discouraged

procrastination is used as a passive form to gain procrastination is used as a passive form to gain some control and power over your life. some control and power over your life.

procrastination is used to express defiance procrastination is used to express defiance against other people’ attempt to control them.against other people’ attempt to control them.

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5 primary familial themes (cont.)5 primary familial themes (cont.)

4. The Clinging Theme4. The Clinging Theme Family encourages dependency and parents are Family encourages dependency and parents are

experienced as a lifeline to their child survival. experienced as a lifeline to their child survival. The child becomes a “parentified child,” and is expected The child becomes a “parentified child,” and is expected

to take care of her parents’ physical and emotional to take care of her parents’ physical and emotional needs. needs.

A. Procrastination is used to protect against feeling A. Procrastination is used to protect against feeling separate, more independent or different from one’s separate, more independent or different from one’s family. family.

B. Procrastination is used to prevent feeling close to B. Procrastination is used to prevent feeling close to other people. other people.

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5 primary familial themes (cont.)5 primary familial themes (cont.)

5. The Distancing Theme5. The Distancing Theme No development of emotional closeness between family No development of emotional closeness between family

members; little interest in sharing inner thoughts, members; little interest in sharing inner thoughts, emotions and experiences with each other. Children feel emotions and experiences with each other. Children feel that they are a burden, an intrusion, and that their needs that they are a burden, an intrusion, and that their needs are unwanted or intolerable.are unwanted or intolerable.

A. Procrastination is used to avoid seeking help from A. Procrastination is used to avoid seeking help from others. others.

B. Pressure to be Perfect leads to perfectionism. B. Pressure to be Perfect leads to perfectionism. Procrastination is used to protect against increasing fear Procrastination is used to protect against increasing fear of whether you can actually reach the targets you’ve set. of whether you can actually reach the targets you’ve set.

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In all the 5 familial themesIn all the 5 familial themes

The child is not treated as a multi-dimensional The child is not treated as a multi-dimensional person, and certain human qualities are ignored person, and certain human qualities are ignored or undervalued. or undervalued.

A child may come to believe that he will be loved A child may come to believe that he will be loved if: if:

I am the perfect child (pressuring); I am the perfect child (pressuring); I don’t threaten you with my success (doubting); I don’t threaten you with my success (doubting);

I follow your rules (controlling); I follow your rules (controlling); I take care of you (clinging); I take care of you (clinging); I don’t demand too much from you (distancing). I don’t demand too much from you (distancing).

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In all the 5 familial themes (cont.)In all the 5 familial themes (cont.)

As an adult, she may say to herself: I can As an adult, she may say to herself: I can only feel good about myself If: only feel good about myself If:

I can be perfect; I can be perfect; I don’t stand out too much; I don’t stand out too much; I don’t let anyone push me around; I don’t let anyone push me around; I am attached to someone else; I am attached to someone else; I’m separate from everyone. I’m separate from everyone.

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The Secret Battle for AutonomyThe Secret Battle for Autonomy

Many people procrastinate because they Many people procrastinate because they want to feel they are in control of things. want to feel they are in control of things. They use procrastination to fight a battle They use procrastination to fight a battle for independence and autonomy. for independence and autonomy.

Their self-worth is defined by Not doing Their self-worth is defined by Not doing the task. Their ability refers to how well the task. Their ability refers to how well they are able to resist control or restriction they are able to resist control or restriction of their autonomy. of their autonomy.

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The Secret Battle for Autonomy The Secret Battle for Autonomy (cont.)(cont.)

Self-worth = Ability (to be autonomous and Self-worth = Ability (to be autonomous and defy control) = Performance (on my terms via defy control) = Performance (on my terms via procrastination)procrastination)

It is difficult to change because it is not only a It is difficult to change because it is not only a battle for control but also a battle for self-worth battle for control but also a battle for self-worth and self-respect. and self-respect.

In your procrastination, can you find an element In your procrastination, can you find an element of “not wanting to follow the rules” or “why of “not wanting to follow the rules” or “why should I do it my advisor’s or teacher’s way?”should I do it my advisor’s or teacher’s way?”

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Uncovering the secret agendaUncovering the secret agenda

The procrastinator is powered by a secret The procrastinator is powered by a secret agenda. agenda.

It is important to work to uncover this It is important to work to uncover this agenda in yourself, since, as we know, it agenda in yourself, since, as we know, it ultimately destroys, rather than builds, ultimately destroys, rather than builds, success.success.