Problems in Translating Poetry

Sugeng Hariyanto (sg_hariyanto@yahoo.co.id)(originally published in http://www.translationdirectory.com/article640.htm)

ABSTRACT

Basically, poetry translation should be semantic translation for a poem is typically rich withaesthetic and expressive values. The translator may face the linguistic, literary andaesthetic, and socio-cultural problems in translating it. The linguistic problems include thecollocation and obscured syntactic structure. The aesthetic and literary problems are relatedwith poetic structure, metaphorical expressions, and sounds. While the socio-culturalproblems arise when the translator translates expressions containing the four major culturalcategories: ideas, ecology, behavior, and products. This article shows some basicconsiderations on how to solve them.

Key words: translation, aesthetic values, expressive values, collocation, poetic structure,metaphorical expression, sounds.

Translating literary works is, perhaps, always more difficult thantranslating other types of text because literary works have specificvalues called the aesthetic and expressive values. The aesthetic functionof the work shall emphasize the beauty of the words (diction), figurativelanguage, metaphors, etc. While the expressive functions shall putforwards the writer's thought (or process of thought), emotion, etc. Andthe translator should try, at his best, to transfer these specific valuesinto the target language (TL). As one genre of literature, poetry hassomething special compared to the others. In a poem, the beauty is not

only achieved with the choice of words and figurative language like in novels and shortstories, but also with the creation of rhythm, rhyme, meter, and specific expressions andstructures that may not conform to the ones of the daily language. In short, the translationof poetry needs 'something more' than translating other genres of literature. This simplewriting will present in brief some considerations in translating poetry.

SOME POSSIBLE PROBLEMS IN TRANSLATING A POEM

About translating problems, Suryawinata (1982) finds that in general a literary translatorfaces linguistic, literary and aesthetic, and socio-cultural problems. In translating a poem,one of the literary genres, the translator are also likely to face similar problems.

1. Linguistic Problems

In term of linguistic factors, according to the writer, at least there are two points toconsider: collocation and obscured (non-standard) syntactical structures. The word"collocation' used here refers to words or word groups with which a word or words maytypically combine. The combination may by syntagmatic or horizontal, like make a speech(not say a speech), run a meeting (not do a meeting), etc. Something to remember is indifferent languages the collocates tend to be different. The Indonesian phrase for run ameeting is not melarikan rapat but mengadakan rapat.

The other class of collocation is pragmatic or vertical. This consists of words belonging tothe same semantic field or be semantic opposite. Different from the first class, thecollocates in this class may be the same for several languages. Land, sea, air are exactlythe same as tanah, laut, udara.

Whatever the reason is, where there is an accepted collocation in the SL, the translatormust find and use its equivalent in the TL if it exists. But a closer attention should also bepaid to the collocation with similar form in the SL and TL, but different meaning. See thisline, for example:

I find you in every woods and gardens.

The words woods and garden are collocates, and the Indonesian equivalents arevery similar, hutan and kebun. Even the form is very much similar, the translator mustexamine first whether the meaning is the same. As it is known, the word woods in US is notexactly the same as hutan in Indonesia in term of the characteristics, area, location, etc. Inaddition, garden is not always the same as kebun. It may mean taman. The clearexamination can only be done if the translator understands the contextual meaning.

The second point to consider in term of linguistic matters is obscured (non-standard)syntactic structures. Such kinds of structures may be intentionally written in a poem as apart of the expressive function of the text. Hence, such structures should be rendered asclosely as possible.

The first step to deal with this problem is to find the deep (underlying) structure.According to Newmark (1981: 116), the useful procedure is to find the logical subject first,and then the specific verb. If the two important elements are discovered, the rest will fallinto place. After that the translator can reconstruct the structure in the TL as closely aspossible to the original structure. Besides, the structure of each phrase or clause should beexamined clearly also.

2. Literary or Aesthetic Problems

Aesthetic values or poetic truth in a poem are conveyed in word order and sounds, aswell as in cognitive sense (logic). And these aesthetic values have no independent meaning,but they are correlative with the various types of meaning in the text. Hence, if thetranslator destroys the word choice, word order, and the sounds, he impairs and distorts the

beauty of the original poem. Delicacy and gentleness, for instance, will be ruined if thetranslator provides crude alliterations for the original carefully-composed alliterations. So,the problems in translating a poem is how to retain the aesthetic values in the TL text.

The aesthetic values, according to Newmark (1981: 65) are dependent on the structure(or poetic structure), metaphor, and sound. Poetic structure includes the plan of the originalpoem as a whole, the shape and the balance of individual sentences in each line. Metaphoris related to visual images created with combinations of words, which may also evokesound, touch, smell, and taste. While sound is anything connected with sound cultivationincluding rhyme, rhythm, assonance, onomatopoeia, etc. A translator cannot ignore any ofthem although he may order them depending on the nature of the poem translated.

2.1. Poetic Structure

The first factor is structure. It is important to note that structure meant here is the planof the poem as a whole, the shape and the balance of individual sentence or of each line.So, it does not have to relate directly to the sentential structures or grammar of a language,even in fact it is very much affected by the sentential structure. Thus, maintaining theoriginal structure of the poem may mean maintaining the original structure of eachsentence.

The simple examples below show one stanza of Chairil Anwar's Senja di PelabuhanKecil and its two translations: the first is done by Boen S. Oemarjati and the last is byBurton Raffel. Try to compare which one is better? (Do not consider the semantic aspect forthis stage.)

1.a Ini kali tidak ada yang mencari cinta

di antara gudang, rumah tua, pada cerita

tiang serta temali, kapal, perahu tidak berlaut,

menghembus diri dalam mempercaya mau berpaut

(Kasbolah, 1990: 4)

1.b This time there's no one looking for love

among the sheds, old houses, near the tale

of the masts and riggings. Ships (and) boats (that) have not gone to sea

are puffing themselves (out) in the believe (they) will be united.

(Kasbolah, 1990: 13)

1.c This time no one's looking for love

between the sheds, the old house, in the make-believe

of poles and ropes. A boat, a prau without water

puff and blows, thinking there's something it can catch

(Kasbolah, 1990: 12)

The translations of the first line both are good in the sense that they put theadverb, "this time" first, but the translation of the main clause in the second translation isbetter for it tries to maintain the "poetic structure" of the line. The further we read the lines,the better we can catch the importance of maintaining the structure as an attempt tomaintain the beauty of the poem. And finally we may agree that the second translation ismore successfully in maintaining the poetic structure.

2.2. Metaphorical Expressions

Metaphorical expressions, as the second factor, mean any constructions evokingvisual, sounds, touch, and taste images, the traditional metaphors, direct comparisonswithout the words "like' and "as if", and all figurative languages. Intentionally, the writerdoes not use the term metaphor in the sub-heading since it has different meaning for somepeople. What is generally known as (traditional) metaphor, for example, is not the same asmetaphor meant by Newmark.

To understand the meaning of metaphor as proposed by Newmark, it is advisable tounderstand the following terms: object, image, sense, metaphor, and metonym. Object,called also topic, is the item which is described by the metaphor. Image refers to the item interms of which the object is described. It is also called vehicle. The next term, sense, refersto the point of similarity between aspects of the objects and the image. Metaphor heremeans the word(s) taken from the image. And finally, metonym refers to one-word imagewhich replace the object, which is in many cases figurative but not metaphorical.

In the expression "rooting out the faults", for example, the object is 'faults', the imageis 'rooting out weeds', the sense is (a) eliminate, (b) with tremendous effort, and themetaphor is 'rooting out'. The expression 'the seven seas' referring 'the whole world' is notmetaphorical. It is figurative and a metonym.

Newmark (1981: 88-91) proposes seven procedures to translate metaphors in general.The first procedure is reproducing the same image in the TL if the image has comparable

frequency and currency in the appropriate register. This procedure is usually used for one-word metaphor, e.g. ray of hope. Ray of hope can be simply translated into sinar harap.

The second procedure is replacing images in the SL with a standard TL image within theconstraints of TL cultures. The English metaphor 'my life hangs on a thread', with thisprocedure, can be translated into Indonesian 'hidupku di ujung tanduk'.

The next is translating a metaphor by simile, retaining the image in the SL. Thisprocedure can be used to modify any type of metaphor. The 'my life hangs on a thread',with this procedure, can be translated into 'hidupku bagai tergantung pada sehelai benang'.

And the rest of the procedures, translating metaphor (or simile) into simile plus sense,conversing metaphor into sense, deleting unimportant metaphor, and translating metaphorwith some metaphors combined with sense, are not considered appropriate for poetrytranslation.

The possible question arising now is 'how far a translator can modify the author'smetaphorical expressions?' It depends on the importance and expressiveness. If theexpressions are very expressive in term of the originality, the expressions should be kept asclose as possible to the original, in terms of object, image, sense, and the metaphor.

And then what about the culturally-bound metaphors or expressions?

As it is known, there are two kinds of expressions: universal and culturally-boundexpressions. Universal expressions are the ones which consist of words having the samesemantic field with that of most cultures in the world. Engkaulah matahariku, for example,is a universal expression for every culture sees the sun as the source of light, source ofenergy, source of life. Therefore, the expression can be simply transferred into 'You are mysun'.

See the example below. The poem in 2.a. is written by Sapardi Djoko Damono and thetranslation in 2.b. is done by John. H. McGlynn. The expression "matahari yang berteduh dibawah bunga-bunga" can be transferred directly. The expression "ricik air yang membuatsetiap jawaban tertunda" is modified slightly. The metaphor "membuat (jawaban) tertunda"is changed into "postponing (each and every answer)", which literally means "menunda(setiap jawab)"; here the translator reproduces the same image in the TL, but does nottransfer it directly.

2.a Taman Jepang, Honolulu

inikah ketentraman? Sebuah hutan kecil:

jalan setapak yang berbelit, matahari

yang berteduh di bawah bunga-bunga, ricik air

yang membuat setiap jawaban tertunda

(McGlynn, 1990: 100)

2.b Japanese Garden, Honolulu

is this peace? A small glen:

a winding footpath, the sun

resting beneath the flowers, rippling water

postponing each and every answer.

(McGlynn, 1990: 101)

2.3. Sound

The last of literary or aesthetic factors is sound. As stated before, sound is anythingconnected with sound cultivation including rhyme, rhythm, assonance, onomatopoeia, etc. Atranslator must try to maintain them in the translation. As Newmark (1981: 67) furtherstates, "In a significant text, semantic truth is cardinal [meaning is not more or lessimportant, it is important!], whilst of the three aesthetic factors, sound (e.g. alliteration orrhyme) is likely to recede in importance -- rhyme is perhaps the most likely factor to 'give' -- rhyming is difficult and artificial enough in one language, reproducing line is sometimesdoubly so." In short, if the translation is faced with the condition where he should sacrificeone of the three factors, structure, metaphor, and sound, he should sacrifice the sound.

On the other hand, the translator should balance where the beauty of a poem reallylies. If the beauty lies more on the sounds rather than on the meaning (semantic), thetranslator cannot ignore the sound factor. See the following part of a poem written byEffendi Kadarisman (example 3.a). Can a translator ignore the rhyme and assonance? Inthis case, he has to maintain the two.

3.a Are you the bubble-bubble gum?

Are you the jumble-jumble hum?

Are you the rumble-rumble drum?

Well, folks

Poems are serious jokes

Just say those nonsense words

And sing with the mocking birds

In other cases where sounds is not such important, he should try to maintain themfirst in the TL before he decides not to transfer the sound into the TL. This means he shouldtry to keep the beauty of the sound where possible. In example 4.b, the translator tries tomaintain the rhyme but still he puts meaning in the first consideration.

4.a Dalam tubuhmu kucari kepastian

tapi yang tertinggal hanya kenangan

Bisikan-bisikan segera fana

Tak sedikit pun tercatat, meski hanya kata-kata

(Rosidi, 1993: 200)

4.b In your body, I searched for certainty

but what's left was only memory

Whispers soon faded away

Nothing's noted, even words only (translation, Hariyanto)

3. Socio-cultural Problems

Words or expressions that contain culturally-bound word(s) create certain problems.The socio-cultural problems exist in the phrases, clauses, or sentences containing word(s)related to the four major cultural categories, namely: ideas, behavior, product, and ecology(Said, 1994: 39). The "ideas" includes belief, values, and institution; "behavior" includescustoms or habits, "products" includes art, music, and artifacts, and "ecology" includesflora, fauna, plains, winds, and weather.

In translating culturally-bound expressions, like in other expressions, a translator mayapply one or some of the procedures: Literal translation, transference, naturalization,cultural equivalent, functional equivalent, description equivalent, classifier, componentialanalysis, deletion, couplets, note, addition, glosses, reduction, and synonymy. In literaltranslation, a translator does unit-to-unit translation. The translation unit may range fromword to larger units such as phrase or clause.

He applies 'transference procedure' if he converts the SL word directly into TL word byadjusting the alphabets (writing system) only. The result is 'loan word'. When he does notonly adjust the alphabets, but also adjust it into the normal pronunciation of TL word, he

applies naturalization. The current example is the Indonesian word "mal" as thenaturalization of the English word "mall".

In addition, the translator may find the cultural equivalent word of the SL or, if hecannot find one, neutralize or generalize the SL word to result 'functional equivalents'. Whenhe modifies the SL word with description of form in the TL, the result is descriptionequivalent. Sometimes a translator provides a generic or general or superordinate term fora TL word and the result in the TL is called classifier. And when he just supplies the near TLequivalent for the SL word, he uses synonymy.

In componential analysis procedure, the translator splits up a lexical unit into its sensecomponents, often one-to-two, one-to-three, or -more translation. Moreover, a translatorsometimes adds some information, whether he puts it in a bracket or in other clause oreven footnote, or even deletes unimportant SL words in the translation to smooth the resultfor the reader.

These different procedures may be used at the same time. Such a procedure is calledcouplets. (For further discussion and examples of the procedures, see Said (1994: 25 - 28)and compare it with Newmark (1981: 30-32)).

The writer does not assert that one procedure is superior to the others. It depends onthe situation. Considering the aesthetic and expressive functions a poem is carrying, atranslator should try to find the cultural equivalent or the nearest equivalent (synonym) firstbefore trying the other procedures

See the first stanza of Shakespeare's Sonnet XVIII below.

5.a Shall I compare thee with a summer's day?

Thou are more lovely and more temperate

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer's lease hath all too short a date;

It is understood that "summer" is very beautiful for temperate countries, and it impliesdistinguished beauty. But the cultural equivalents or near equivalent of "summer" does notmean so for Indonesia, for example. And to translate any expression containing such words,the translator should, once again, consider each expression carefully in term of theimportance and expressiveness. If the expression is very important seen from the wholemeaning of the poem and very expressive seen from the originality of the expression, thereis no reason not to supply the cultural or near equivalent in the TL (See Newmark, 1981:50).

In the above case the translator does not have any choice; he has to supply the culturalequivalent in the TL. Let the reader learn and understand what a certain word means forothers in the other part of the globe. "Summer's day" is a day when the sun shines brightlyand the flowers, especially the sweet-scented roses, are blossoming everywhere in England.Meanwhile, the Indonesian "musim panas" means agony of life where irrigation channels aredry, the rice fields crack all over, and the dust scatters everywhere. Later, however, thereader will learn the beauty pictured with "summer" or "musim panas" when he notices thatthe poem was written by an Englishman.

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