principles of communication chapter 8: relationships

Principles of Communication

Chapter 8: Relationships

Dusit Thani College Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 2

SCOPE

• Chapter 8 Lecture and Discussion:• Relationship Types• Factors that Affect Relationships• Steps Needed to Ensure Effective

Relationships

•Chapter 8 Case Study• Instructor Review• Student Q&A

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Relationships

Why have relationships?

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• Emotional needs• Social needs • Physiological needs

Dusit Thani College Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 43/16/2015

8.3 Interpersonal Relationships

Intimacy



• An interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more people that may range from fleeting to enduring.

• The context can vary from… • family or kinship relations friendship

• marriage relations with associates

• work clubs

• neighborhoods places of worship

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Dusit Thani College Second Semester 2013 Slide No. 63/16/2015

• What makes a good friendship?

• Enjoyment• Acceptance• Respect• Mutual assistance• Confiding• Understanding• Spontaneity




• A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between two individuals.

• This includes…• Romantic or Intimate Relationship

• Parent–Child Relationship

• Groups of People (uncle and family, or mayor and town)

• Nations (international relations between USA and China)

What is this relationship type?

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8.4 Interpersonal Relationships Development

• George Levinger’s (1983) 5 stages of a relationship:1. Acquaintance – Two people meet and share some common interest to maintain a

friendly or cordial relationship.

2. Buildup – During this stage, people begin to trust and care about each other with a need for intimacy, compatibility and common backgrounds.

3. Continuation – This stage follows a mutual commitment to a long-term friendship, romantic relationship, or marriage.

4. Deterioration – Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of trouble, such as boredom, resentment, and dissatisfaction.

5. Termination – The final stage marks the end of the relationship, either by death in the case of a healthy relationship, or by separation.

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8.5 Flourishing Relationships

• Positive psychologists use the term “flourishing relationships” to describe interpersonal relationships that are not merely happy, but instead characterized by intimacy, growth, and resilience.

This is for personal or professional

lives, and is considered positive

with plans for spending long

periods of time together.

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8.6 Communication Theories and Empirical Research

• Minding Relationships… the mindfulness theory of relationships shows how closeness in relationships may be enhanced.

• Five components of “minding” include:1. Knowing and being known: seeking to understand the partner

2. Making relationship-enhancing attributions for behaviors: giving the benefit of the doubt

3. Accepting and respecting: empathy and social skills

4. Maintaining reciprocity: active participation in relationship enhancement

5. Continuity in minding: persisting in mindfulness

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• After studying married couples for many years, psychologist John Gottman has proposed the theory of the “magic ratio” for successful marriages.

• Successful couples will average a ratio of

five positive interactions to one negative

interaction (5:1).

• A 1:1 ratio usually means divorce.

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• Eric Berne – EGO States and Transactional Analysis

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Dusit Thani College 3/16/2015

• A transaction is an exchange of strokes.

Transactional Analysis

• A stroke is a “unit of recognition”.

• We are all desperately seeking strokes from others.

• A stroke could be a nod of the head, a hand shake, a “hello” or a “get stuffed”.

• All of these acknowledge that the other person exists.


• Strokes can be positive (“Hello”)

Transactional Analysis

or negative (“Get stuffed!”)

• Conditional (“I hate you when you’re mean like this!”)

• or Unconditional (“You’re stupid!”)

• The only thing worse than a negative stroke is no stroke at all…………..


• Transactions are based on our ‘ego-states’.

Complimentary Transactions

P

A

C

ParentBehaviours, thoughts and feelings we learn from our parents or parental figures.

AdultBehaviours, thoughts and feelings in direct response to the here and now (rational/objective)

ChildBehaviours, thoughts and feelings replayed from our childhood ( < 6 years old)


Person A “Ow! I’ve cut myself.”Person B “Oh dear, come here and let me clean it up”.


P

A

C

P

A

C


Person A “I think you need to go and wash your dirty face”Person B “OK, I will go do it now”.


P

A

C

P

A

C


Person A “Nice weather for the time of year.”Person B “Yes, great to have a bit of sun”.


P

A

C

P

A

C


Person A “Go wash your dirty face!”Person B “Don’t be rude!”

Crossed Transactions

P

A

C

P

A

C

This can lead to surprise or confusion.

Berne says that when transactions are crossed the conversation stops until one or other of the parties changes ego state.


Person A “You’re an idiot!”Person B “No! You’re an idiot!”

Crossed Transactions

P

A

C

P

A

C


Always react as Adult to Adult.


8.7 Other Communication Perspectives

• One of the biggest problems for couples is the repeated conflict that promotes a negative mind in each person.

• New methods of therapy move partners to more positive, comfortable exchanges.

• Expressing gratitude and sharing appreciation for a partner is the primary means for creating a positive relationship.

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8.8 Intimate Relationship

• An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy.

• Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity.

• The term is also sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual relationship.

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• Intimacy is a familiar and very close affective connection with another and requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity.

• As an action (verb) “intimate” means to state or make known.

• • As an idea (noun), an “intimate” is

a person with whom we have a particularly close relationship.

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• Psychologist Desmond Morris found that most new relationships followed 12 predictable steps on the path to sexual intimacy.

• The 12 steps he identified (in order) are: Step 1: Eye to Body Step 2: Eye to Eye

Step 3: Voice to Voice Step 4: Hand to Hand

Step 5: Arm to Shoulder Step 6: Arm to Waist

Step 7: Mouth to Mouth Step 8: Hand to Head

Step 9: Hand to Body Step 10: Mouth to Breast

Step 11: Hand to Genitals Step 12: Sexual Intercourse

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• There are two types of love; passionate and companionate.

• Companionate love is friends.

• Passionate love is boyfriend or girlfriend.

• A couple refers to a passionate love relationship between two people who have made a commitment to each other.

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• Terms for partners in intimate relationships include:

• Boyfriend/Girlfriend

• Confidant

• Family member

• Friend

• Spouse

• Mistress

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Summary

• Chapter 8 Lecture and Discussion:• Relationship Types• Factors that Affect Relationships• Steps Needed to Ensure Effective

Relationships

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BREAK!

• Now, take a 30-minute break and then return to the class to work on your term paper focus.

• Enjoy!

Take a break!

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The Team

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Handout Review

• You will now be given a handout with comprehension questions.

• Use the book and the notes you’ve taken to answer the questions as best as possible.

• You have 45-minutes to complete the handouts and return them to the instructor at the end of class.

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Case Study Review

•Take 15-minutes to compare your case study summaries with a partner and create a revised idea to present.

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HOMEWORK!

• Go to the copy shop next to the canteen and get a copy of Unit 9: Professional Communication, Groups, and Leadership.

• Read Unit 9 and complete sections 9.1 Key Vocabulary and Chapter 9 Review: Case Study.

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principles of communication chapter 8: relationships

Documents

relationships steps

dusit thani college

romantic relationship

term flourishing relationships

healthy relationship

cordial relationship

relationship types factors

scope chapter