Maurer Productions OnStage, Inc.

Presents

A Gentleman’s Guide To Love and Murder

(The Musical) Audition Information

Auditions are

Saturday, March 7th 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM Sunday, March 8th 12:00 PM – 5:00 PM Monday, March 9th 7:00 PM – 10:00 PM

Auditions open to Actors/Singers/Dancers 17 and up

Show dates:

June 5, 6, 12 & 13, 2020 at 8pm June 7 & 14, 2020 at 2pm

You can sign up online for an audition slot at http://www.mponstage.com/CastMe

or e-mail us at Audition@mponstage.com or Call (609) 882-2292

A Gentleman’s Guide To Love and Murder Book and Lyrics by ROBERT L. FREEDMAN Music and Lyrics by STEVEN LUTVAK Based on a Novel by ROY HORNIMAN

Presented through special arrangement with Music Theatre International (MTI). All authorized performance materials are also supplied by MTI.

www.MTIShows.com

GGLM_20200115

INDEX

1. Introduction 2. Index 3. Show Description 4. Character Info 5. Character Info (cont.) 6. Important Audition Info (Please Read Carefully) 7. Audition Form 8. Conflict Calendar 9. Conflict Calendar (cont.)

10. Plot Synopsis 11. Plot Synopsis (cont.) 12. Audition Scenes (12-15)

Auditions for A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder

Book and Lyrics by ROBERT L. FREEDMAN Music and Lyrics by STEVEN LUTVAK Based on a Novel by ROY HORNIMAN Maurer Productions OnStage, the company that brought you the Perry Award winning Aida, Driving Miss Daisy and Around the World in 80 Days will be holding open auditions for its upcoming production of A Gentleman’s Guide To Love and Murder.

When the low-born Monty Navarro finds out that he's eighth in line for an earldom in the lofty D'Ysquith family, he figures his chances of outliving his predecessors are slight and sets off down a far more ghoulish path. Can he knock off his unsuspecting relatives without being caught and become the ninth Earl of Highhurst? And what of love? Because murder isn't the only thing on Monty's mind.... A knock-'em-dead, uproarious hit and the most-nominated show of the 2014 season. With ten Tony nominations and four wins, including Best Musical, Book, Direction and Costumes, it also earned seven Drama Desk Awards (including Best Musical), four Outer Critics Circle Awards (including Best Musical) and one Drama League Award (Best Musical). A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder is a murderous romp filled with unforgettable music, non-stop laughs and a scene-stealing roles. 11 Roles (6 women, 5 Men)

This production will be presented at Kelsey Theatre on the West Windsor campus of Mercer County Community College.

The production will be directed by John M. Maurer with Music Direction by Laurie Gougher and Choreography by Jane Coult.

If you have questions, please contact us at info@mponstage.com Or call 609-882-2292

A Gentleman’s Guide To Love and Murder

Audition - Dates/Times: Saturday, March 7th 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM Sunday, March 8th 12:00 PM – 5:00 PM Monday, March 9th 7:00 PM – 10:00 PM Location Mercer County Community College West Windsor Campus

Company: Maurer Productions OnStage Inc. Directors: John M. Maurer Music Director: Laurie Gougher

Producers: John M. Maurer & Diana Gilman Maurer Choreographer: Jane Coult

Stage Manager: Melissa Gaynor

Master Carpenter: Jeff Cantor Costumes: Anthony Remer

ROLES AVAILABLE (11 Adults)

The ages listed below are approximate stage ages. All characters have English accents. Most actors will be playing multiple roles.

Minimum physical age to audition is 17 years old. Montague "Monty" Navarro (20-30) Handsome, clever, charismatic, vulnerable and endearing. Discovers he is in line to become the Earl of Highhurst, and intends to kill off the family that stands in his way.

Gender: Male Baritone Vocal range top: Bb5 Vocal range bottom: Bb3

Miss Shingle (40-60) Monty's unexpected visitor. A servant from Highhurst Castle and Monty’s mother’s friend and confidant.

Gender: Female Soprano Vocal range top: E5 Vocal range bottom: Eb3

Sibella Hallward (20-30) A childhood friend of Monty. An enchanting girl of the upper-middle class with aspirations above her station. She is also the girl Monty loves.

Gender: Female Soprano Vocal range top: Gb5 Vocal range bottom: F#3

Phoebe D'Ysquith (20-30) Monty’s Cousin, sister to Henry D'Ysquith, a gentle woman of good breeding and manners and luckily below Monty in the line of succession.

Gender: Female Soprano Vocal range top: high sustained C#6 with an optional Eb Vocal range bottom: G#3

The D'Ysquith Family (20- 50) A family of high position with vast wealth and influence. And many of them are ahead of Monty in the line of succession. The entire family will be played by one actor. Asquith D'Ysquith, Jr. - a dandy (20s) Lord Adlabert D'Ysquith - Eighth Earl of Highhurst (60s) Reverend Lord Ezekiel D'Ysquith - a clergyman (40s) Lord Adlabert D'Ysquith, Sr. - an elderly banker (60s) Henry D'Ysquith - a country squire (30s) Lady Hyacinth D'Ysquith - a benefactress (30s) Major Lord Bartholomew D'Ysquith – a bodybuilder (40s) Lady Salome D'Ysquith Pumphrey - an actress (30s) Chauncey D'Ysquith - a janitor (30s)

Gender: Male Baritone Vocal range top: G#4 Vocal range bottom: F#2/Bb3 Physical comedy and stamina is a necessity. Plays a full range of characters from the same family, ranging from an off-kilter priest to a closeted bee enthusiast to a lowly custodian (each of them intrinsic “English types”).

The following 6 ensemble members play every other role in the show and can be any age from 17-60.

Woman #1 Mourner; Tour Guide; Ancestral Portrait; Skater; Bridesmaid; Pub Owner's Wife; Mrs. Pebworth; Phoebe's Maid; 3rd Newsboy; Tailor; Selina Chard (Servant); Flower Girl

Gender: Female

Woman #2 Mourner; Tourist; Ancestral Portrait; Skater; Bridesmaid; Mrs. Hetherington; 4th Newsboy; Tailor; Lady Eugenia D'Qsquith; Flower Girl

Gender: Female

Woman #3 Mourner; Sibella's Maid; Tourist; Ancestral Portrait; Miss Evangeline Barley; Bridesmaid; Miss Hayes; Tailor; Hilda (Servant); Flower Girl

Gender: Female

Man #1 Mourner; Tourist; Ancestral Portrait; 2nd Clerk; Skater; Tailor; Groomsman; Tom Copley; Dr. Brownlee; 1st Newsboy; Weight Lifter; 3rd Actor; Ancestral Bust; Walter (Servant); Dr. Pettibone (Medical Examiner); Prison Guard

Gender: Male

Man #2 Mourner; Tourist; Ancestral Portrait; 1st Clerk; Skater; Tailor; Groomsman; Pub Owner; Mr. Cross; 2nd Newsboy; Weight Lifter; 1st Actor; Lord Asquith's Physician; Ancestral Bust; Mr. Waters (Servant); Chief Inspector Pinckney

Gender: Male

Man #3 Mourner; Tourist; Ancestral Portrait; Skater; Tailor; Groomsman; Pub Patron; Henry's Employee; Mr. Goodsall; 2nd Actor; Alfred Gorby (Butler); Lord High Steward (voiceover); Magistrate

Gender: Male

Important Audition Info (Please Read Carefully) What You Need to Know for the Audition

1. In order to book an audition appointment, you must register online with our CastMe system by visiting http://www.mponstage.com/registration and following the instructions. Once you have created an account on the CastMe system, you must upload your resume and headshot, as well as any additional information you feel would be appropriate and helpful in the casting process. A series of online video tutorials are available to help you with the registration process.

2. Once you have created an account on the CastMe system, you should log-in to the system and sign up for an audition appointment. If you can’t access the website or if you have any problems signing up, you can call (609) 882-2292 or email us at mailto:audition@mponstage.com to schedule an audition time. If all audition slots are full, or you are not available during the posted audition times and you still wish to audition for the show, please call and we will try to set up another time for you to audition. Walks-ins are always welcome and will be seen as time permits, but an appointment is recommended.

3. After registering with CastMe and booking your audition appointment, you must then complete the audition application and conflicts calendar contained in this packet. You must bring your printed copies of your completed application and conflicts calendar, along with a printed copy of your sheet music, to the audition. Also, if you do not upload your headshot (or recent photo) into the CastMe system, a quick snapshot will be taken of you at the audition and put into the system.

4. ACTING… All actors are required to audition with one of the monologues provided. Prepare the one that is closest to the roles you are looking for. You may be asked to improv, read from any of the monologues or with another person.

5. SINGING… Please prepare a FULL SONG in the style of the show. Song selection should demonstrate legit, classical vocal technique. Pop/belting is not necessary for this genre. Please bring sheet music, preferably in a binder. An accompanist will be provided. No a capella auditions or recorded accompaniments are permitted. Auditioners may be asked to vocalize in order to determine vocal range.

6. DANCING…. You will be taught a short routine during the auditions. Wear loose clothing and shoes you can dance in.

7. Actors must arrive at least 10 minutes before the start of their audition time. The audition process may last up to 60 minutes. During that time, the actors, whether individually or in a group, will be asked to sing, act, dance and fill out paperwork.

8. If needed, call backs will be on Monday, March 9.

9. The read through is tentatively planned March 14th from 12pm to 4pm. You should expect up to three rehearsals per week, two evenings during the week and one weekend afternoon. Not all actors will be required for all rehearsals. Call sheets will be made available to the cast to tell you which rehearsals you will need to attend. However, all cast members should plan to be available most evenings for the two weeks before the show opens.

10. All cast members are asked to assist with load-in and load-out. Load-in occurs on the Sunday evening (May 31st) before opening night, and load-out occurs after the last Sunday performance (June 14th).

11. Please print and bring with you the following 3 pages.

Maurer Productions OnStage Inc. ______________

Do not write on this line

A Gentleman’s Guide To Love and Murder Audition Form

Name:_______________________________________________________________________________________________ Address: _______________________________________________City/State/Zip___________________________________ Home Phone: _______________________ Work Phone: _______________________ Cell Phone: _____________________ (circle contact preference) Email Address #1: _____________________________________________________________________________________ Email Address #2: ______________________________________________________________________________________ Sex/Pronouns_________________ Age Range: _________________________ Date of Birth (month & day)______________

PERSONAL

What Role(s) are you Auditioning for?______________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________

ROLE

My Resume is Attached: Yes No (If no resume see below) My Resume is Online: Yes No My Acting, Singing and Dancing Experience Includes (List Shows, roles, dates, etc.): _________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Background

Voice: (Circle One) Soprano, Alto, Tenor, Baritone, Bass Vocal Range: ______________________________________ Years of Formal Voice Study: ________ Years of Formal Acting Study: ________ Years of Formal Dance Study: ________ How Do You Rate Your Dance Skills: ______________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Are You Currently Studying Acting, Singing, or Dancing? If so, where/with whom?___________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Do You Read Music? Yes No Have You Studied an Instrument: Yes No List Special Skills (e.g. Juggling, magic, unicycle riding, play band instrument etc. Particularly important for Marcy) _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________

SKILLS

List All Conflicts on the Following Calendars including holidays March

Sun Mon Tues Wed Thur Fri Sat 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Audition

8 Audition

9 Audition

10 11 12 13 14 Tentative read through

15 16 17 Saint Patrick’s Day

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June

Sun Mon Tues Wed Thur Fri Sat 31 Load In

1 Tech

2 Tech

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4 Final Dress

5 Show 8pm

6 Show 8pm

7 Show 2pm

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11 12 Show 8pm

13 Show 8pm

14 Show 2pm/Load Out

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SYNOPSIS: A Gentleman’s Guide To Love and Murder Act One

London, 1909. In the Prologue, we learn the nature of the evening's bill of fare ("A Warning to the Audience"). In a prison cell, Monty Navaro, the ninth Earl of Highhurst, takes up a pen to write his memoir: "In the event of my execution, while I still have time." His story begins in a shabby flat in Clapham, where he receives an unexpected visit from Miss Shingle, an old friend of his recently departed mother ("You're a D'Ysquith").

With the stunning discovery that he is eighth in line to inherit a magnificent title and fortune, Monty sends a letter to the head of the family, Lord Asquith D'Ysquith, Sr., asking for a job in the D'Ysquith banking house. He then rushes to tell the news to his childhood sweetheart, Sibella Hallward, arriving just as she prepares to go out ("I Don't Know What I'd Do"). Monty tells her that only eight other D'Ysquiths stand before him in the line of succession, which means that he could be Earl himself some day. "And pigs might fly!" Sibella laughs. "Eight people would have to die for that to happen! How likely is that?!" Sibella teases Monty about her forthcoming outing with Lionel Holland, who is not only rich and good looking, but drives a motorcar. Regardless, Monty kisses her impulsively and passionately. Although Sibella shares his ardor, she draws the line at a future together. Sibella is determined above all else to marry a man with wealth and influence.

A letter from Asquith D'Ysquith, Jr., rebuffs any notion that Monty will be recognized by the D'Ysquiths ("Foolish to Think"). Among a group of tourists who are led by an informative guide, Monty visits Highhurst Castle, ancestral home of the D'Ysquiths, where the family portraits seem to speak directly to him ("A Warning to Monty"). The imposing and perpetually aggravated Earl, Lord Asquith D'Ysquith, discovers Monty on the wrong side of the velvet rope and ejects him ("I Don't Understand the Poor").

Seeking an ally, Monty visits the Reverend Lord Ezekial D'Ysquith. While enthusiastic about the architectural splendor of his historic church, the doddering cleric shows Monty no sympathy. In his zeal to share the view, Ezekial steps too close to the tower's edge. When he reaches out for help, Monty hesistates ("Foolish to Think – Reprise") and lets the Reverend fall. In one moment, Monty's life has changed forever... and, of course, the action has been set.

Monty then follows the man who snubbed him so unmercifully, Asquith D'Ysquith, Jr., to a winter resort, where he finds the young dandy skating on the lake with Miss Barley, his chorus-girl mistress ("Poison in My Pocket"). Grief-stricken over the "accidental" loss of his only son, Lord Asquith D'Ysquith, Sr., offers Monty a job at the family banking firm. Flush with excitement over his acceptance by the D'Ysquiths at last, Monty hurries to tell Sibella – only to learn that she is engaged to Lionel Holland ("Poor Monty").

At a village inn, Monty rescues wealthy landowner, Henry D'Ysquith, from the fists of an angry tenant farmer. Grateful, Henry buys Monty a round ("Better with a Man") and invites him back to his country estate, where he reveals his passion for beekeeping. Over time, he assures Monty that one builds up a resistance to bee stings: "I dare say it would take a hundred bees to kill me now." When Monty returns the following weekend to set a trap, he meets Henry's lovely, innocent sister, Phoebe D'Ysquith, with whom he develops an instant rapport. As the two draw closer, Phoebe is unaware that her brother is being pursued by a swarm of bees ("Inside Out"). Monty is left to console Phoebe, and it occurs to him that should he achieve his goal of becoming Earl, "I could find no finer woman to be my countess."

Lady Hyacinth D'Ysquith, an unmarried society matron of a certain age, is furious that her latest charitable venture has been ruined by scandal. She and her colleagues are aided in their search for a new cause by a helpful "Baron Philpot" aka Monty ("Lady Hyacinth Abroad"). After reading of Lady Hyacinth's tragic death at the hands of cannibals in deepest, darkest Africa, Lord Asquith D'Ysquith, Sr., notes Monty's closeness to the succession. While maintaining an affair with the newly wed Sibella, and continuing to offer consolation to the mourning Phoebe, Monty disposes of the fitness-obsessed Major Lord Bartholomew D'Ysquith and the transcendently terrible actress, Lady Salome D'Ysquith Pumphrey, whose Hedda Gabler takes naturalism one pistol shot too far. Asquith Sr.'s, sudden heart attack leaves only Lord Adalbert as the obstacle between Monty and the Earldom ("The Last One You'd Expect").

Act Two

At Asquith D'Ysquith, Sr.'s, funeral, the mourners discreetly ask the question on everyone's mind ("Why Are All the D'Ysquiths Dying?"). At Highhurst, Lord Adalbert is preoccupied with the same question ("Why Are All the D'Ysquiths Dying? – Reprise"). After an assignation with Sibella at his bachelor apartment, Monty explains why he stares at her so intently ("Sibella"). With the unexpected arrival of Phoebe, Sibella hides in the bedroom while Monty desperately tries to keep the two women apart ("I've Decided to Marry You"). Monty accepts Phoebe's proposal, with Sibella none the wiser.

To celebrate their engagement, Monty escorts Phoebe to a weekend with Lord Adalbert and his combative countess, Lady Eugenia, at Highhurst Castle ("Final Warning"), where he discovers the inconvenient presence of Sibella, also a weekend guest. At dinner, Monty is shocked to see Miss Shingle and learn that she has been a servant at Highhurst for 39 years. Monty realizes that this may be his only chance to complete his mission ("Poison in My Pocket – Reprise") but he is foiled in his attempt. With his relatives dropping like flies, Lord Adalbert relives his near-death experience in the Boer War ("Looking down the Barrel of a Gun") and collapses unexpectedly.

At the death of Lord Adalbert, Monty becomes the Ninth Earl of Highhurst. His triumph is short-lived, however, when, at his wedding to Phoebe, an Inspector from Scotland Yard arrests Monty for murder ("Stop! Wait! What?!"). At trial, Monty vehemently denies poisoning Lord Aldabert's port, but the circumstantial evidence is damning. Back in his prison cell on the eve of the verdict, Monty is astonished to discover that the unassuming janitor, Chauncey, is also a D'Ysquith. Phoebe visits Monty in his cell, and he tries his best to console her. She has but one question: "That woman, Mrs. Holland – is she in love with you?" Monty hesitates, which is all the answer that Phoebe needs.

That night, Sibella pays a surprise call on the Inspector while a Magistrate receives an unexpected visit from Phoebe ("That Horrible Woman"). With seemingly irrefutable evidence, the women each accuse the other of Lord Adalbert's murder, making it impossible for either of them – or Monty – to be charged. Monty is awakened by the news that he is being set free. As he emerges from prison, Monty is greeted by the secret conspirators, Sibella and Phoebe. Monty Navaro has finally triumphed at last... or has he? ("Finale") Close

Audition monologues All actors must audition with one of the monologues below. If there isn’t a monologue for the part you are trying out for, just pick one from below.

Montague "Monty" Navarro: (Meeting his first relatives’ demise) Perhaps emboldened by the new found knowledge of my heritage, I was compelled to make an attempt to connect with my Mother's kin. The Reverend Lord Ezekiel D'Ysquith was the one Parson in the family and I envisioned that he, more than anyone, might receive me with sympathy. (Turning to speak with the Reverend) Thank you for speaking to me and giving me a tour of your lovely cathedral, I'm afraid there's a great deal of family history I haven't been privy to. So, then, I may count on you, Lord Reverend? To put in a good word for me, with the D'Ysquiths? Perhaps with the Earl, himself?.. No? (desperate) Yes, it is a marvelous view, your lordship. Are you certain you couldn't make an exception, in this one case? For the sake of my charming Mother, your cousin? Or perhaps out of loyalty to my Grandfather, your childhood playmate? (frustrated) Have you no ... Christian charity, then? What was her great sin, after all? Only love! (worried – reaching out hand) Careful my lord you are close to the…. (realization strikes) no, nothing… please go on. (Reverend falls to his death) (Monty talks to audience dispassionately) The Reverend’s death was ruled an accident. It was a windy day in Lincolnshire, rather typical for that time of year. And it was no secret among his flock that the Lord Reverend was prone to inebriation. Had he deserved it? I couldn't say he hadn't. What I did know for certain was that, in one moment, my life was now changed forever. Miss Shingle: (Cockney Maid) I knew you and your mother were having a rough time of it, but I didn't know it had come to this. Have you any prospects, love? Maybe Oxford or Cambridge?.. No… You know you rather favor your father ... physically, I mean. Only met him once, Castilian, you know. As dashing a face and figure as you will ever see. Tell me, love, what do you know of your mother’s family? Nothing? Well, have you heard of the D'Ysquith family? And the family estate, Highhurst Castle? Are you aware of their position? Their vast wealth and influence? Well my boy, you’re a D’Ysquith! Now don’t give me that look, like I’m mad as a hatter. I'm as sane as the day is long. And by my estimation, only eight other relations stand between you and the current Earl of Highhurst, Lord Adalbert D'Ysquith himself. Still don’t believe me? Very well, then. If your mother was not a D'Ysquith, what was her maiden name? Sibella Hallward: (Excited) Oh, Monty, I've got wonderful news - well, perhaps you won't think so. I am engaged. To Lionel Holland. Now, don’t act surprised. It is not... unexpected. Oh, I do hope you'll come to the wedding. It is to be the eleventh of May. (changing tact to seduction) So… Lionel tells me the rumor is that you’ve joined the D'Ysquith family banking house in the City. At quite a… comfortable salary they say. So what you told me was true, after all. I should never have doubted you. Oh Monty, you've grown older. Not in looks. You still look like a boy. But now you look as if you never, ever had a care in the world. Do you want to kiss me? Why do you hesitate? Lets not worry about Lionel, I remember a time when you felt the very air I breathed was love's own narcotic. Please, Monty, don't torture me.

Phoebe: (Meeting Monty, very innocently and a bit flighty) Oh! You must be Mr. Navarro. My brother tells me you are a cousin, your mother was (trying to remember name) Isabel D’Ysquith? Forgive me, but I don't recall ever hearing about her. (remembering) Wait now I remember, oh poor dear, the family considered your father… unsuitable. And because your mother married for love and not for money or property, she was…. cut off. So that is why they behaved as if she, and you, had never even been born. Mr. Navarro, I am most intrigued. What a beautiful story. Horrid, yes, I'm certain, but still beautiful: she dared to marry for love! Tell me, did your father have his own fortune, or were you quite penniless? You must forg me; Henry often scolds me for being indelicate. When I think of the indignities you've suffered. It must have inspired an awful resentment of the upper classes. (Admonishing herself ) Oh no! There I again! And now I'm making assumptions about you, when there's nothing I despise more than peopl making assumptions about me. I know they talk about me in the village. They see a girl who's rich a from an important family and not unattractive and they assume ... well, they assume a lot of things. The truth is ... none of them know me at all. Not who I truly am. Tour Guide (A bit pompous.) Welcome to Visitors Day at Highhurst Castle, ancestral home of Lord Adalbert D'Ysquith, Eighth E of Highhurst. It is from these very walls that D'Ysquiths past defended themselves against King Joh ... Who was to meet his rebellious Barons at Runnymede ... In the banqueting hall, you will note a c of mail worn by Richard, the Lion Heart... Come a long! Come a long! That'll be sixpence, please. Lady Eugenia (arguing with the Earl.) What do you mean the fish is an abomination? You specifically requested cod. I know very well you detest cod. But that is what you wanted and who am I to argue with his high a mighty, the Earl? I must have been the most gullible woman on earth. It's true. I should never have believed your vow to love, honor and cherish. Look at this place. “Highhurst Castle” the beloved family estate. It's falling apart and reeks of mildew. (A beat.) Not unlike my husband. Oh, don’t give me that “Till death do us part, my darling” prattle. Because I cling to that thought eve day, My Sweet! Inspector (arresting Monty) My congratulations on your wedding, your lordship. I wonder if I might have a word with you, in private. We’ve never met, your lordship. Chief Inspector Pinckney, Scotland Yard. You are the Earl Highhurst, are you not? So sorry to interrupt such a festive occasion, but I am under strict instruction to arrest you. For murder. Yes, I’m afraid, your lordship, I must arrest you for the murder of Lord Adalbert D’Ysquith, the eighth Earl of Highhurst. Originally thought to be natural causes, after the medical examiners post-mortem, it was deemed to be foul play. Lord High Steward (at inquest) Lord D’Ysquith Navarro, on the charge of “willful murder", in the death by poison of Lord Adalber D'Ysquith, eighth Earl of Highhurst, you have plead, not guilty? Chief Inspector Pinckney, Scotland Yard, you testified that no one was allowed in or out of the castle until each of the guests and all of t staff had been interviewed thoroughly. Dr. Pettibone, Medical Examiner, at the post-mortem, you examined what Lord D'Ysquith had ingested that night, and determined there was poison in the port Lady Eugenia D'Ysquith, your late husband, the Earl, said that he feared Mr. Navarro was so eager t succeed him, he might smother him in his sleep, is that right? Based on the evidence presented here, this case can be moved forward to trial.

The D'Ysquith Family (The actor auditioning for the family must audition with all of these short monologues and present and interpretation for each of these family members) Asquith D'Ysquith, Jr. - a dandy (20s) Mr. Navarro, regarding your inquiry of my father, Lord D'Ysquith. After careful consultation with several members of the D'Ysquith family, it is my duty to inform you that we are unaware of the existence of your mother or, consequently, yourself. It would therefore, be of no use for you to trouble the firm, or the family, again. And, further, if you should ever attempt to call yourself by the name D'Ysquith, we shall be forced to turn the matter over to our solicitors." Lord Adlabert D'Ysquith - Eighth Earl of Highhurst (60s) Mr. Navarro D'Ysquith Montague! A splendid chap, far as I can tell. And a cousin of mine, strangely enough. His mother was a bit of an embarrassment.Water under the bridge, of course. Lady D'Ysquith tells me he's next in the succession - funny that! With everyone else dropping like flies, I shouldn't wonder if he'll smother me in my sleep tonight. What?! Well, I'm getting the evil eye, so do let's go into dinner. If there's anything I can't abide - (To his wife, pointedly) - it's cold hen. Don't you agree, Nirvana? Sorry Navarro. Reverend Lord Ezekiel D'Ysquith - a clergyman (40s) Why yes, of course I remember Isabel. Charming girl. Broke her father's heart. He and I spent our childhood summers together at Highhurst, you know. Glorious days, glorious days. (continuing his tour of the cathedral) The chancel was added in 1621 by the first Earl himself. It contains three late twelfth century windows depicting the Martyrdom of St. Ursula and her eleven thousand virgins. Lord Asquith D'Ysquith, Sr. - an elderly banker (60s) Some time ago you wrote, claiming a relationship to the D'Ysquith family and asking us to help you to some situation in which you might earn your living. I must apologize for our unsympathetic attitude on that occasion. Should you still be in need of a post I shall be very glad if you will pay me a call...Yours very truly, Lord Asquith D'Ysquith, Senior Henry D'Ysquith - a country squire (30s) I must say, chum, that was awfully good of you to step in like that. You've come from town, haven't you? Oh, one can always tell. It's the way town men put on their clothes. A touch of exaggerated fashion, which betrays a pleasure in personal appearance. Fellows who live in the country don't feel it's good form to wear your clothes too well, but that's all rot. What say we have us a round, shall we? It's the least I can offer in return for your gallantry in the aid of a total stranger.

Lady Hyacinth D'Ysquith - a benefactress (30s) Oh, Baron! I couldn't possibly! The degradation! The deprivation! And the Children… Beggars and thieves, the lot of them! Imagine not rising for "God Save The King”! Oh where will my largesse be truly appreciated? I need a place so low that hope itself has been abandoned. Ah yes! the untouchables in India ... India! Land of Hindus and Muslims! Of tamarind and saffron! Exotic and unknowable! That's it! Major Lord Bartholomew D'Ysquith – an explorer and bodybuilder (40s) The problem with this country, Mr. Goodbody, is that everybody is weak! Have you studied eugenics, my friend? We must find a way to prevent the unfit from multiplying themselves. If we fail, I'm afraid the Empire is likely to slip through England's grasp. What luck, our meeting like this. Have you tried yogurt culture? Delicious. And a natural laxative, don't you know. In fact, I myself had a yogurt enema just the other day. Why not skip the middle-man, eh? What? Right! Lady Salome D'Ysquith Pumphrey - an overacting actress (30s) Bang! Oh, dear me, I didn't hit you, did I? Oh, I just stand and shoot up into the blue, into the big blue sky! Bang! When I think about it now ... there was a kind of courage about it, this hidden intimacy! It was our secret, shared by no other living soul! Oh, you brute!Bang! Chauncey D'Ysquith - a janitor (30s) Mind if I tidy up a bit, your lord ship? Just a quick once around and I'll be out of your way. Thank you… and, if I might, my lord, they' re saying you gave quite an impressive speech at the trial today. Oh, yes. And I was proud to hear of it, I was, being a D'Ysquith myself, you know. Chauncey D'Ysquith my Lord. My father was Nesmith D'Ysquith, maybe you've heard of him? Bit of a black sheep, he was. The family never wanted nothing to do with him. Can't say as I blame them. Wasn't much of a father, neither. I never said anything before because I’m kind of a shy sort, really. But tonight, didn't know as I'd be seeing you again. Whatever happens, I wish you good luck, my Lord.