presentation webinar case studies ei 21 june 2016
TRANSCRIPT
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client service
trust-based sales
consulting skills
leadership
21 June 2016
ImprovingyourEmo.onalIntelligence:.psandcasestudies
Skills to improve your client relationships www.theclientacademy.com
Incollabora.onwithFIBA
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WhoareTheClientAcademy?Training,coachingandfacilita7ontoimproveyourclientrela7onships
MonicaHernanzFounder.Spanish.22years’experienceinclientrela.onships.Backgroundinbankingandconsul.ng.
Weworkgloballyfrom3offices
4areasofwork
Clientservice
Trust-basedsales
Consul.ngskills
Leadership
London 4 consultants
Madrid 2 consultants
Panama Office for Latam since 2013
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Someofourclients
Colaboracióncon
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TheClientAcademy’sEmo7onalIntelligenceModel
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• Rela7onshipwithself:amIgoodenough?
TheworldADAPTATIONTOCHANGE
YourselfSELF-TALK
OthersDEPENDENCY
OurEmo.onalIntelligenceModelisbasedaroundmanagingthreerela7onshipsatwork:
• Rela7onshipwithothers,onwhomwedependtoobtainresults:canItrustthem?
• Rela7onshipwiththeorganiza7onandtheworld:willitwork?
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WhatisEmo7onalIntelligence
Emo.onalIntelligenceisthecapacitytoreadandmanageouremo5onsaswellasotherpeople’ssothatwecanguideourbehaviourtowardsthebestresultinthecurrentsitua.on
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Sailinganalogy:Emo7onalIntelligencearethesails
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• Wearetheboat
• Theseaisourcircumstances
• Thewindsareouremo.ons
• ThesailsareourEmo.onalIntelligence.Theyallowustogetourboattotherightdes.na.onwhateverthewindandseacondi.ons
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Situa7on1:Rela7onshipwithyourself AmIgoodenough?
• Lack of confidence • Self-doubt about our skills • Strong self-criticism • Shame
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Rela7onshipwithyourselfCasestudy1:context
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• Theytendtobesuccessfulpeople,buttheirselfesteemcomesfromexternalsourcesinsteadoffromwithin.Theyobtainresultsattheexpenseofahighemo.onalcost.
• Mee7ngobjec7vescomeswithnega7veemo7ons:fearoffailure,perfec.onism,impostorsyndrome,etc…Theself-dialogueisnega.veandrelentless,buteffec.ve.
• ARerachievingachallenge,theytendtomovetothenextonewithoutcelebra7ngsuccesses.
• Increaseinthelastfewyearsofthissitua.on.Execu7vesaremoreexposedandalone.
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Rela7onshipwithyourselfcasestudy1:analogyhowtheyfeel
Analogy:differencebetweenlearningtoswimenjoyingthewaterorlearningtoswimbythrowingyourselfinthedeependwhenyou’res.llhesitant
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Rela7onshipwithyourselfPosi7vesideandcon7nuum
ShameSelf-doubt Self-confidence Arrogance
I’madisaster I’mperfect
SELF-DOUBT AND SHAME HAVE A POSITIVE SIDE • Self-doubt is like daily gymnastics to do better. • Shame is a natural response when we have made a mistake, to admit we have
done wrong and repair relationships. • If self-doubt and shame happen too frequently, then their negative side effects
outweigh the positives.
Whereareyou?
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Howtoimprovetherela7onshipwithyourself
PERSPECTIVE• Iden.fytheirra.onal/
animalvoice• Haveself-compassion
likeyouwoulddowithafriendorchild
• Arguewiththenega.vevoiceusingevidenceofpreviousachievements
ANTICIPATEOBSTACLES• Iden.fypaXernsand
obstacles.• Preparewhen…thenplans
BODYLANGUAGE• Fakeit.llyoubecome
it• WatchAmyCuddy’s
TEDtalkontheeffectofbodylanguageonthemindwww.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
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Situa7on2:Rela7onshipwithotherswhenwedependonthemforourresults
CanItrustthem?
• Vulnerability because of dependency
• Mistrust • Sensation of lack of power • Frustration because of
different work standards
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Rela7onshipwithothersCasestudy2:context
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• Theytendtobeveryindependentandresponsiblepeople
• Methodical/specialisttypeofwork:inBanking,oReninITorFinance
• Theystrugglewithdelega.onandpreferwriXencommunica.on.Itishardertorelyonyourownresultsnowadays.Weneedtactandperseverenceinrela.onshipsaswellastechnicalmastery.
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Rela7onshipwithothersCasestudy2:howtheyfeel
Analogy: difference between controlling everything at a RISK board-game and feeling you could be run over by a train and not even know about it. Other people may have out you in that position.
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Rela7pnshipwithothersPosi7vesideandcon7nuum
Totaldependency
Workswellwithothersbuttendstotrusttoomuch
Workswellwithothersbuttendencytomistrust
ControllingTotal
independence
Ican’tdothingsalone Ican’tcounton
anyone
• Positive reinforcement for taking care of things others leave unsolved
Whereareyou?
EXCESSIVE CONTROL HAS A POSITIVE SIDE
• Vulnerability early in life? Learned that dependency is a bad thing?
• Hyper-responsible children (e.g. Older siblings?)
• Negative effect: too much work, unnecessary effort. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and people start to avoid responsibility because you will pick it up.
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Howtoimprovetherela7onshipwithothers
SHOWEMPATHYAskfortheotherperson’sversionofeventsandreallylisten.Avoidblame.Ask:helpmeunderstandhowyouareexperiencingthissitua;onsothatwecandosomethingaboutit.
THINKASATEAMResistthetempta.ontoappor.onblametomakeitclearthatitwasn’tyourfault.Thinkaboutwhatyouhavetoloseinfutureiftherela.onshipsours.Collaborateasateamtosolveit.
FOSTERAUTONOMYDon’tcri.cizetoomuchortheywillfeelthatwhatevertheydo,youwon’tbehappy.Agreeonwhatneedstobedoneandleaveautonomyonhowtogetitdone.
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Situa7on3:Rela7onshipwiththeworldthroughadapta7ontochange
¿Puedoconfiarenellos?
• Dependencia • Desconfianza • Sensación de
falta de poder • Insatisfacción ante
diferentes estándares de trabajo
Willitwork?
• Fear • Uncertainty • Lack of control • Helplessness
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Adapta7ontochangecasestudy3:context
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• Theytendtobepeoplewhopriori7zestability,security,rou7nes
• Detailedworkwheretheyhavetoiden7fyrisks:Inbankingriskmanagement,compliance,finance.
• Forthemchangeisapainfulprocessofpersonalturmoil.Theychangewhenit’sabsolutelynecessaryandwhenresonshavebeenwellexplained.
• Forthemop7mismhastobebasedonfacts
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Adapta7ontochangecasestudy3:howtheyfeel
Analogy:differencebetweenrelinquishingcontrolinasafeenvironmentlikearoller-coasterandfeelingyou’refreefallingheadfirst.
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Adapta7ontochangePosi7vesideandcon7nuum
Iavoidchange
Mo.va.ontochangeisposi.ve(aspira.onal)
IseekchangeotherwiseI’m
bored
Itrytodothingsthesame
Ican’tdothingsthesame
• Theywantpriorthoughbulplanbeforechanging
Whereareyou?
• Abilitytoseethreatsandriskswhenothersdon’t
• Colleaguescallthempessimists,theycallthemselvesrealists
Mo.va.ontochangeisnega.ve(avoidance)
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Personalized plan to leave the comfort zone. Small steps to get into the stretch zone.
Adapta7ontochangeGe^ngoutofthecomfortzone
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Howtoimprovetheadapta7ontochange
ANALYSISUseyouranaly.calstrengthtoobjec.velyassesstherisksyou’reconcernedabout.Donotsimplygetthemoutandchurnthemoverandover.Dosomethingaboutthem.Debateandeithercrossthemoutorplantominimizethem.
SUPPORTCreateapersonalizedplanofac.vi.esandpeoplewhocangiveyousustenanceduringthechangeprocess.Internalsources:exercise,sleep,relaxa.on,nutri.onExternalsources:hobbies,peopleimportanttoyou,keepingotherthingsstable
REALISTICOPTIMISMThereisevidencethatabiastowardsop.mismproducesbeXerresults.Makeaconsciousefforttobeop.mis.c,whilstminimizingthethreats.Lookforevidenceofpastsuccessesofcopingwithchange.
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Summary:wehavetalkedaboutemo7onalintelligenceinthreeprac7calsitua7onsthatelicitstrongemo7ons
TheworldADAPTATIONTOCHANGE
YourselfSELF-TALK
OthersDEPENDENCY
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Threekeymessages
The origin of the things you find difficult is positive. At some point those behaviours have served you well.
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Identify your irrational voice and don’t listen to it 2
Improving your emotional intelligence requires intentionality and practice
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