power,agilty and wicked enviroments
TRANSCRIPT
Power,agility and wicked environments
Who am I
Caoilte Dunne
Who Am IRaised by a strong woman who taught me respect for women.
Married a strong woman who teaches me humility all the time.
I believe that men and women are equally capable.
I believe that women live in a society that is sexist.
4 years ago ….
It did not go well ...Poor post-project reviews
Both included very strong negative sentiments from women in my team.
Unfortunately This was part of a pattern
I was effective…
Passionate Opinionated Strong Willed
Was I effective..?
Bruised EgosConflictStress
Rightly I was moved sideways
Luckily , this time ,I took notice …
and became interested in power equalization in teams
Setting some expectations
Drill down even further : power in teams
Jack Alex Bob
Mary Sue Robin
Courtney
Power In teams during meetings
Jack
AlexBob
Mary Sue Robin
Courtney
Which ideas are implemented, which are discarded and which are never suggested...
That’s where power in teams comes into play.
For in meetings ...
What will I be covering
1. Teams2. Power3. Wicked Environments4. Pre- meeting5. In the meeting6. How to nudge your team
1. Teams
What is a team?
GOAL
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
What makes a great team
Psychological Safety
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
Anya puts out a Challenge to groups status quoXander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
Not BulliedXander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
Not Laughed atXander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
Not ostracizedXander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
Never made to feel like shitXander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
OK - you can talk with safety What else
Ensure Everyone has their say
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
Not just the assertive
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
Everyone !
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
Power
How people who wield power see themselves:
How other people see them:
First let’s look at Hard Power
What’s it sourceRather dispiritingly - it’s your job title.
Hard power is given to you from the norms of authority in your culture and your position in your organization
Hard power - types
Legitimate Power - being a bossReward Power - promise of / giving of something niceCoercive power - promise of / giving of something bad
Soft power
What’s it sourceIts intrinsicWhat you knowWho you knowHow people view you
Soft power - types
Informational Power -Knowing context Expert Power - Applying theory and practiceReferent power - Being liked/Respected
So who loses out?
Everyone involved
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
The team is
● Less Physiologically safe
● Less likely to get everybody's point of view
Xander Willow Giles
Anya Dawn Tara
Buffy
The way to avoid this is
Is not to focus on the act of being powerful
But to focus on empoweringyourself and your team.
Empowering - Your style
Empowering - Choice
Wicked Environments
It seems nice
Until ...
Different learning
Flips the lever a lot
Has learnt not to
The wrong lesson
Ends up having heart disease
End ups dying of starvation
You are in a Wicked environment
Your Wicked Environment
This has happened
This has happened
This has happened
This has happened
Not everybody is effected the same way
Think of it as a slope
DominancePassive
BehaviourBehaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
DominancePassive
BehaviourBehaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
PassivePolitical Maneuvering
Making decisions outside of meetings
indirect expression of hostility (I.e passive aggression)
Triangulation (uniting in dislike )
Silence over conflict
DominanceNot listening
Speaking at length
Emotional radiation
Interrupting
Condescending
Overrides conflict
Ridicules other points of view
Some people don’t notice the slope
Some people are not affected by the slope
Some people do and some people areHowever
You have a bias to passive behaviour or dominant behaviour
We all have
Dominance
PassiveBehaviour
Behaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
Expert Power was/is my drug of choice.
I had no idea.
I thought it was a good thing...
But the effect remained the same:
Dominance
PassiveBehaviour
Behaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
AwarenessChange has occurred when one becomes aware
From Awareness comes deliberate action for behavioural change
DominancePassive
BehaviourBehaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
DominancePassive
BehaviourBehaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
DominancePassive
BehaviourBehaviour
LeaderTeam playerPerception Perception
Quick recap
Both women and men are given poor lessons about powerUsing power works against
Physiological safetyEveryone having their say
So what can we do
Let’s have some focus
Before the meeting
During the meeting
We are going to cover
It about choiceYour style
Your Choice
You will notice they are not suddenStructure
and
Intent.
You know best
Before any meeting
You have space and time.
This is the long game
All the time
Build rapportBe interested in other people
Listen to your team
Take the time to understand
Master your self talkMake sure you value your own opinion
Brave is overcoming fear not its absence.
Fake it till you make it
Culture of ideasSuspended Judgement
Valuing Diversity
From P.C to respect
Agree how your team make decisionsWho makes decisions
Majority (50% , 75%)
Silence is not consent
Group NormsExternalise Values/Mindset
Highlight power equalization
Practical Concerns
Before the meeting
You have a focus
You have a place
You have a time
All the time
Known meeting
Facilitate the meeting (before)Ensure agenda is sent ahead of time
Structure the meeting
Work with people before handFor the less outspokenensure they know why they are invited
For alphas let themselves expel energy now as opposed to in the meeting
Check your imposter syndrome
Compare yourself fairly
You deserve the role you have
You deserve self respect
Do what you need to be confidentPower poses before meetings
Meditation /Mindfulness
Visualize
Know your goal going in
You're there for a reason
Determine how much guff you can put up with
Write what you want to say beforehandGive yourself space
Give yourself time
Give yourself permission
In a Meeting
All the time
Known meeting
In a Meeting - Not giving away your power
How to ensure you are active - participating in the meeting.
The team needs your point of view
All the time
Known meeting
Facilitate your meetings (during)
Ensure structure
Echo , Paraphrase
Bring in the reluctant voices
A ‘Round’ before discussion
Go a-round the table
Everybody states their initial position
No interruptions
Agree when someone says your point before youAmplification
Make yourself part of the conversation
Get your position out early
People who talk early have more influence
Before the alpha takes control
Before the alphas make it about them
Don’t “Vague” it up
Be aware of qualifying language
‘Sorry’ , ‘Perhaps’ , ‘just a thought’
Don’t swamp your awesome point with weakness
Before you commit to a task ensure it is your roleThe ‘administrative’ stereotype exists
The ‘Mom’ stereotype exists
Suggest task rotation
Not letting your power be taken
When someone wants their way at the expense of the group.
When someone makes you not matter
All the time
Known meeting
Treat new ideas as experiments
Awesome for limiting expert power
Very effective because it focuses on impact
Have more than one option
Get away from rail roading
Other options come from somewhere
Nominate someone as devil's advocatepermission is given to be critical.
Dissenting point of view becomes required.
Include when challenged
Ask for solutions from the challenger
“What should we do differently”
Lift up other women
Sometimes you need that support.
So give it.
Practice your script
When you are interrupted
When you are dismissed
When someone takes your idea
Know your limits
When you are objectified
When you are passed over
When you bullied
So lots there !
Before any meeting
● Build rapport● Master your self talk● Culture of ideas● Agree how your team make
decisions● Group Norms
All the time
Before any meeting
● Facilitate the meeting (before)● Work with people before hand● Check your imposter syndrome ● Do what you need to be
confident● Know your goal going in● Write what you want to say
beforehand
All the time
All the time
Known meeting
In a Meeting - Not giving away your power
All the time
Known meeting
● Facilitate your meetings (during)
● A ‘Round’ before discussion ● Agree when someone says
your point before you● Get your position out early● Don’t “Vague” it up● Before you commit to a
task ensure it is your role
In a Meeting - Not letting your power be taken
All the time
Known meeting
● Treat new ideas as experiments
● Have more than one option● Nominate someone as
devil's advocate● Include when challenged● Lift up other women● Practice your script● Know your limits
How to nudge your team
Some ideas you might have heard recently… Build rapport
Treat all new ideas as experiments
Facilitate your meetings
Start with the whyPhysiological Safety
Everyone giving their view
Increased quality of ideas
Create a commonality of interestAgree (with what you can)
Build ( On what's shared)
Compare (the differences)
Gauge the AwarenessHow self aware is your team's alpha ?
How self aware are you ?
Don’t let someone else be the enabler of your value
You get what you tolerate
So lots to do ....
How to nudge yourself
You're always fighting the wicked environment
But eventually it will come down to you embracing change
Your mindset , Your behaviours , your self talk.
I know this because I have been attempting to change for a while
To be an asset rather than a liability to my team
I have discovered change is hard.
But not Impossible !
The slope can helpWoman leaders on average
are “more likely to be democratic, collaborative, and participative”
Which leads to ….Psychological Safety
Everyone having their say
I.e Great teamsWhich means you get to be the great leaders of the 21 century.
In summary:
● Treat meeting with respect ● If you talk too much - talk less, talk last.● If you never speak, the team needs you
to speak up.
It's in your hands
No really
Change is hard - not impossible
ReferencesFacilitator’s guide to participatory decision-making - Sam KanerTeamwork is an Individual skill - Christopher M AveryGroup Dynamics for Teams - Daniel LeviCrucial Conversations - Patterson , Grenny , McMillan ,Switzler
Thanks to Kirsty , Sol , Dom ,Erin ,Nuz and Paula Felicity , Iseult , Helen and TanyaAnd as always My Girl
ReferencesVarious resources about gender and meetinghttp://time.com/money/4450406/men-interrupt-talk-more/http://time.com/4206660/hillary-clinton-sexism-shrill-yelling/https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2016/09/13/white-house-women-are-now-in-the-room-where-it-happens/https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=enhttp://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politics/2016/1008/How-women-lead-differentlypsychological safety and googlehttp://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/magazine/what-google-learned-from-its-quest-to-build-the-perfect-team.htmPowerhttps://hbr.org/2016/10/dont-let-power-corrupt-youSelf Talkhttps://melissaambrosini.com/wealth/7-things-you-must-stop-letting-your-mean-girl-tell-you/Imposter syndromehttp://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2014/04/03/impostor-syndrome
Twitter : @CaoilteDunneLinkedIn : CaoilteDunneSlideshare : http://www.slideshare.net/caoiltedunne/poweragilty-and-wicked-enviroments
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