power tool: chloe moodley happiness vs. disappointment

7/29/2019 Power Tool: Chloe Moodley Happiness Vs. Disappointment

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Power Tool Assessment

Name: Chloe MoodleyDate: August 16, 2012Student ID:Email: [email protected]

Complete your Power Tool in the space below and then email as an attachmentto [email protected]

Happiness vs. Disappointment

The man who makes everything that leads to happiness depend upon himself, and notupon other men, has adopted the very best plan for living happily. This is the man of

moderation, the man of manly character and of wisdom.~Plato

Children are happy because they don't have a file in their minds calledAll the ThingsThat Could Go Wrong.

~Marianne Williamson


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Copyright 2006 International Coach Academy Pty. Ltd.

Use is governed by the Terms and Conditions at http://www.icoachacademy.comLast updated Feb 2006

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Fleeting moments can bring us to a place of sheer delight or pleasure; all it takes is acatalyst to change our day from dull and dreary to fun and exciting. It could be a few

words, a song, a laughing baby, or fireworks that can spark happiness. The sensationalrush of good news, the awaited declarations of love, the comforting hugs that fill the

empty space, can all change the energy of a moment into a life-changing event. This

event is called happiness.

The decision to be happy can result in happiness at any given moment you choose to be

happy. Living in the present moment and being thankful for what you have is the greatestform of happiness. When we appreciate what we have instead of thinking of what we

dont have, we live in state of happiness and not in a state of wanting. In life we wantmore of everything and when we get more, we are never satisfied. Therefore what we

want doesnt bring happiness. We spend our waking moments thinking of the negativethings in our lives, replaying them over and over again or we exaggerate the current

situation in our lives and finally, we think about things in the future that may never occur.

We cannot change yesterday or what happened five minutes ago.We cannot predict the future or what may or may not happen tomorrow.

BUT we can change this moment by being fully present and fully engaged.

By focusing on whats happening right now, and shifting our perspective to finding theopportunity or the great lesson in life, we move out of the realm of disappointment into

the circle of happiness.

I,notevents,havethepowertomakemehappyorunhappytoday.Icanchoosewhich

itshallbe.Yesterdayisdead,tomorrowhasntarrivedyet.Ihavejustoneday,today,andImgoingtobehappyinit.

~ Groucho Marx

Two employees were up for their semi-annual evaluations. Ted was confident that he wasa great worker and a team player. He expected Exceeds Expectations but received

Meets Expectations which countered his beliefs about his productivity. Nick was alsoconfident that he was doing a great job and considered himself a team player as well. He

expected Meets Expectations and instead he received Exceeds Expectations. Ted wasdisappointed and felt it was an unfair evaluation. For a few days he complained and

moped around until he decided to do something about it. Instead of continuing down hisnegative path, he became proactive and began to use all his resources to excel at his job,

making Employee of the Month. Nick on the other hand, was ecstatic and celebrated forthe whole week thinking that he can now take a break. As a result he missed an important

client deadline and was reprimanded for his carelessness.

When we take happiness for granted we may lose it like Nick did. In these smallmoments we have pleasure but this is usually short lived unless we make a choice to

extend the length of happiness. To have long lasting happiness we need to accept the factthat we all face challenges and discover flaws. Life is not without disappointments but we


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can deal with them. Ted chose to deal with the situation by using it to explore newavenues and greater opportunities. Happiness is the ability to cope with life.

According to Merriam-Websters Online Dictionary, happiness is a state of well-being

and contentment, a pleasurable or satisfying experience. Therefore the absence of

happiness is discontentment and an unsatisfying experience that brings disappointment.In life, happiness is equated with success and getting what we want. However this is a

farce, as the songwriter puts it Moneycantbuymelove.

So what really makes people happy? Ask someone who has lost a loved one or someonewho doesnt know where his next meal is coming from or someone who has been

diagnosed with an incurable disease. Life-changing events determine the level of ourhappiness and our appreciation of life.

The three most common things people associate with happiness are family and friends,

good health and security about the future. The three most common things people

associate with disappointments are family and friends, bad health and insecurity about thefuture. How is it that the same three things that bring us happiness can also bring usdisappointments as well?

Self Application

OUR CHOICE

We make the choice to create happiness. Understanding human strengths and weaknessesare key to learning new ways to either deal with issues, recover from situations or prevent

them from happening. Knowing that every person responds differently to external stimulicreates an awareness that reduces the chance of conflict. Change begins with us rather

than the other person.

BEING THANKFULOne of the greatest forms of happiness is being thankful for what we have at any given

moment. Instead of focusing on what we dont have or what we could have or what mayhappen, we can focus on the present moment. Allowing ourselves to become consumed

with the past, places us in a state of disappointment. Being consumed with the futurerather than the present, places us in a state of want. As a result we neglect the things that

are important.

LOVING OURSELVES

We create our own emotions. For example, we feel love when we love ourselves first andthen others. We can only trust others when we trust ourselves first. We can only respectothers when we respect ourselves first. This is the secret to happiness. Loving ourselves,

trusting ourselves and respecting ourselves without the approval of others is thebeginning of long lasting happiness. Understanding that we have to be at peace with

ourselves first is fundamental in creating happiness. If we dont believe in ourselves,nobody else will. But it doesnt stop there. Showing love without expecting to receive


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anything in return is an indicator of a happy contented person. Practicing the art of activelistening paves the way for trust and respect.

EXPECTATIONS

Although we live in an amazing age of technology, there are so many unhappy,

disappointed people walking around. It could be an unhappy relationship because of highexpectations or just didnt work out as planned. It could be a breakdown incommunication because someone is not actively listening or empathizing. Or maybe a

desire to own a bigger home and a better car that means long hours at work and less timespent with family or incurring debt by living beyond our means. Or we could be watching

the television and without realizing it, we start comparing ourselves to someone with agreat body or flawless skin. These feelings of dissatisfaction lead to a decreased level of

happiness.

Its the expectation we put on ourselves or others to deliver, and when it doesntmaterialize, disappointment sets in. You begin to feel miserable and happiness

disappears. Consider Ted for a moment. He could have continued complaining andmoping around. He could have thought to himself Why should I care?. He could have

given up and stayed disappointed. But he used this experience to turn his disappointmentaround to do better and excel, resulting in happiness.

OPPORTUNITIES

Every disappointment is an opportunity for happiness. If we are happy 100% of the timehow would we ever be able to experience the joy of true happiness? It takes a moment of

disappointment to create a lifetime of happiness. All negative emotions have a purpose.Its the key to survival.

Happinessisnottheabsenceofproblems,it'stheabilitytodealwiththem.~Steve Maraboli

The story we have heard so many times about the farmer's donkey that fell into a well:

The donkey cried but the farmer couldnt get him out. The farmer decided he was too oldand wasnt worth saving. He decided to cover him up with dirt. The farmer invited the

neighbors to help him shovel dirt into the well. After a while, the donkey stopped crying.When the farmer looked down the well, he saw that with each shovel of dirt, the donkey

shook it off and stepped on it. The farmer continued to shovel dirt and the donkey kept onshaking it off and stepping on it. Finally the donkey stepped up and out of the well.

Life is full of disappointments. What we need to do is use the same disappointment as a

stepping stone to our freedom and happiness. We can allow disappointments to take awayour happiness or we can create happiness by using every circumstance as a bridge to our

success.

Don'tcrybecauseit'sover,smilebecauseithappened.~Dr. Seuss


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Coaching Application

Happiness involves positive emotions and an attitude that life is worthwhile. People arelooking for long lasting happiness. Finding the catalyst that makes the shift is the turning

point from negative emotions to a positive mindset. The move from disappointment tohappiness is the choice of the client. It is one they have to make. When they learn to see

beyond the situation, they begin to create happiness.

Getting a client to express gratitude for the fundamentals things in life causes them toappreciate what they have, and not focus on what they dont have. Creating an awareness

of living in the present moment and changing the dynamic of that moment is monumentalto raising the happiness bar. Instead of being in a state of want, they progress to a state of

satisfaction. Positive emotions are created thereby driving the client towards the state ofhappiness.

They begin to love, trust and respect themselves. Happiness is created.

Happinessisthemeaningandthepurposeoflife,thewholeaimandendofhuman

existence.~Aristotle

Reflection

1. What are you grateful for in your life?2. What defines happiness for you?

3. How would you rate your happiness level on a scale from 1-5?1 = not really happy2 = somewhat happy

3 = happy4 = very happy

5 = extremely happy4. What is one thing you can do to shift to the next level of happiness?5. How would you like happiness to look in your life?6. What can you do to move past the disappointment?7. What would happen if you move past the disappointment?8. What are some of the ways you can create your positive emotions?


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References

1. "Book Excerpt: Authentic Happiness."ABC News. ABC News Network, 02 Sept.

0000. Web. 16 Aug. 2012. .

2. BrainyQuote. Xplore, n.d. Web. 16 Aug. 2012..

3. "Happiness."Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 16 Aug. 2012.

.

4. Hsieh, Tony.Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose. NewYork: Business Plus, 2010. Print.

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