Parents’ Consultation Day – A Few Thoughts | Martin MaloneWELLING SCHOOL

PARENTS’ CONSULTATION DAY A FEW THOUGHTS

2

Parents’ Consultation Day – A few thoughts

Many teachers feel that the stress levels created by teacher–parent consultation meetings come second only to those which affect us at times of birth, death, house-moving and the moment that the head teacher walks into the room when you have just begun to mimic the colleague known to both students and staff as Mr Bean.

What we sometimes don’t realise is that many parents find the very act of walking into school for a meeting just as stressful. The effect of these two factors combined therefore, is potentially calamitous.

Apart from the embarrassing consequences of mistaking a student’s mother for their father and the grovelling apology that must follow the moment when you realise that the parent in front of you is the driver to whom you gestured so vigorously during your journey to work that morning, many of the potential pitfalls that await you can be avoided with careful preparation.

Someone has to lead the meeting, but if both parties are tentative and reluctant the potential for a successful outcome will be as sure and certain as the future recording contract of the string quartet who played so beautifully on the deck of the listing Titanic. Similarly, if both parents and teacher approach the start of the meeting as robustly as the front row forwards of opposing rugby packs about to compete for the ball, the likelihood that progress will be a casualty is very high.

The person in the lead has to be the teacher. Most parents will expect it and will be relieved to place themselves in the hands of a professional who knows what they are talking about. Thorough preparation is the key to success and progress, therefore.

Think carefully about the way in which you will establish your leadership. In most cases the simple acts of referring to the parents by name as you call them forward, shaking hands and gesturing towards the seats in front of you, will do the trick. However, it is important that you employ your emotional intelligence to quickly discover what sort of mood you are about to be met with. Don’t be fooled (or upset) by the bone crunching handshake; it might not mean that you are in for a rough ride. Eye contact is the key.

2

If it’s clear that something is amiss, most parents will let you know quite swiftly what it is. If it is something that has led them to be displeased with you, then you ought to be able to anticipate the problem, and good preparation on your part will mean that you are able to acknowledge the issues and propose a practical and acceptable way forward. This is something that you might choose to discuss with experienced colleagues before your meeting.

If, on the other hand, the parents have been so wound up by their experience at the desk of a colleague just before your meeting and want to tell you all about it, you will need to make a number of ethical considerations before deciding whether to: a) save the story for publication in your memoirs, b) write an anonamised version for the Post-It blog, so others can learn how not to do it, c) reap the gales of hysterical laughter from colleagues as you embellish and re-tell the story in the staffroom, or d) seek advice from a senior colleague about the most effective way of dealing with the issues raised in order to achieve the most beneficial outcome for the student concerned.

It isn’t unusual for parents to express their dissatisfaction with some aspect of the school’s work to members of staff whom they trust. Dealing effectively with parental complaints can and should be a ‘triple win’ situation: Most issues can be successfully resolved to the parents’ satisfaction and, ultimately, the student’s benefit; colleagues whose professional practice is in need of intervention and development can improve; and the school’s (and your) reputation as being responsive to our clients’ views is further enhanced. If we have made errors, it is important that we acknowledge them, correct them and ensure that we don’t repeat the process that caused them.

It is important to have planned and/or rehearsed the phrases and body language that you’ll use in order to keep the conversation focused and to end it on time. On the one hand it is not advisable to look at your watch and interrupt them mid sentence with the words “Right! Time’s up; off you go”, or to feign boredom by yawning and examining your finger nails, hoping that they’ll take the hint. On the other, whilst it is nice to be interested in parents’ stories of pet parrots who can recite three of Shakespeare’s sonnets and all the multiplication tables, or to discuss with them a newly found common interest collecting and exhibiting early twentieth century football boots, this is not the right time or place.

One of the simplest methods of signaling the end of the meeting is to seize the opportunity to sum-up what has been said and agreed. Most parents will be attuned to this as a universal signal that an end has

2

been reached. If the conversation has included contentious issues that are a cause for concern, your summing-up might include reference to future contact to review progress either by telephone or through a further meeting.

In any event you should make sure that any reference on your part to moving into the parents’ spare bedroom in order to monitor their teenager’s progress on unfinished coursework is taken in exactly the way that it is meant: As a joke rather than an offer to model good parenting skills and/or provide a bespoke child-minding service.

Happy consulting ……………Parents’ Consultation Meeting Checklist

Preparation

Make your appointments as soon as possible. Think about the number of students you teach in the year group, try to achieve a spread of appointment times. Manage the appointments list yourself;- don’t let the students simply choose their times. Ensure that you reserve a longer slot for potentially difficult meetings, if you can. Ensure that the students record their times in their Planners. Plan some breaks for yourself.

Think ahead so you are able to mark your students’ latest work just before the meeting if possible. In any event, ensure that you have the widest possible range of assessment data, so that you can speak about specific trends or differentiate between things that a student knows, understands and can do and those things which they are finding challenging. Have your mark book up-to-date and consider having some typical examples of their latest work to hand.

The Interview

Get to the interview room before your first clients. Set-up your table with mark book, appointment sheet and any other materials. Have a watch with you or make sure that you can see a clock. – You don’t want to overrun.

Plan what you intend to say about each student. There are a number of issues that you’ll want to cover, e.g. attendance, preparedness for learning, progress this year, levels of understanding and retention, what the student’s reaction is when they don’t understand something, readiness to be involved, approach to homework.

2

Rehearse. Very few of us find that the leadership of interviews comes naturally. Find some time to compose and rehearse phrases (and gestures?) that will help you to create an impression of competence and approachability.

Take the initiative; - don’t wait for parents to come to you. Stand-up and invite them to come and have a seat. – This is especially important when you have a number of groups waiting. They will expect you to take charge of the situation and ensure that people take their turns. Greet them positively, shake hands, offer them a seat and begin….

It’s not what you say, it’s the way that you say it. Always base your comments on facts, rather than emotion. Take command of the interview from the outset by beginning briskly and opening with some positive remarks about the student. Make eye contact with your audience. Put your remarks in context by briefly describing where the group is in terms of the totality of the course, or in relation to the next set of tests or exams, so parents can see where the students have come from and where they are going to. Move on to the main part of what you want to say, offer practical advice about the way forward, and close with some positive remarks. Thank parents for their support and leave them with a way forward for future contact.

Listen to what the parents say. They will sometimes have comments to make and they will frequently pose questions. Don’t respond to emotionally. Make note of what they say. Take your time in responding and, if you are unsure of your knowledge, explain that you will look into the issue and get back to them within a given period. Always be sure to pass on any relevant comments to colleagues. In the case of critical comments about third parties take advice from senior colleagues.