positive parenting 0 to 5 yr olds revised august 2011

8/4/2019 Positive Parenting 0 to 5 Yr Olds Revised August 2011

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The first 5 years of any childs life are the most important years of them all, how he/she is treated during these first 5 years will shape the adult your childwill eventually turn into, the foundations of the personality of your child develops in these early years - how they go on to become a person, adult, parent areformed in these first 5 years. These are also some of the most rewarding yearsfor the parents. Enjoy them, and your child, there are some areas that will needmore of your attention than others the following may help you with those areas.

Depending how a child is responded to in the first 5 years is extremely vitalto the overall well being, self esteem, confidence, all depend on the first 5 years, everything your child sees in these years will remain in his/her subconscious and turn into either positive or negative attributes of his/her personality.

Birth -6months; Babies cry often but for a reason usually, they need to feel safe, secure, loved, well fed, attended to, it is not possible to spoil a Baby under 6 months old.

Crying; babies cry for 1 of 4 main reasons, theyre hungry, theyre cold/wet, they feel insecure/lonely, theyre in pain, check all areas if baby cries a lot, does baby have wind, teething pains, too tight clothes, not enough room, no stimula

tion, is baby cold, too hot, in wet clothes, dirty nappy, been sick. need to bewinded. Whilst its not good to ignore your baby, its also not a good idea to pick them up at every whimper, youll soon learn which tone of crying is for which area, if you pick them up as soon as they whimper they will soon come to expect you to drop everything at the slightest sound they make, let baby cry for say 3-4cries then pick them up check nappy etc, if all is fine they can go back in totheir crib or pram and be allowed to cry a while, not too long, no more than say 2-3 minutes, rock the pram or crib this often helps them drop off to sleep, orplay some soft background music, whale music is great for soothing crabby babies, theyll usually drop back off to sleep, perhaps they just want a cuddle or tohear your voice.

To a Baby being left to cry for say more than 5 minutes would seem like an hour

to an adult and abandonment issues will result if this happens often.

Babies can see at birth; so always look right at your baby smile at them talk tothem soothe them sing to them, rock them, during feeds talk to baby, make sureyou thoroughly wind them even breast fed babies, all will need to be winded, topand tail wash them in morning, and again after feeds, bathe them in evening before bedtime, always put clean dry clothes on them, and change them if theyre sick on themselves. Dont over dress, too many clothes or under dress too little, during first 4-6 weeks expect to get little sleep, and be prepared to feed on demand or 3 hourly, getting into a routine helps both you and baby, at about 4-6 weeks old baby becomes more alert to stimulation, they start to smile at you or others, they will follow you with their eyes. Their cry also changes from newborn t

o baby, baby starts noticing their surroundings more also what gets your attention. Anytime from 4 months they learn to sit up usually supported at first, ifyou lay Baby on the floor he will be able to move around and also lift their head and raise themselves up on the hands. About 6 months some Babies start to crawl, Never leave your baby unattended in the bath on the bed sofa or floor for asecond, always make sure you can see them. They start to chuckle, or laugh roughly at age 4-6 months or a little later. 6 months: they fill out need bigger clothes, less feeds, can stay awake all morning or afternoon, plenty of stimulationin these first months helps baby to learn faster, and develop their senses too.Teething is usually under way by time Baby is 6months old, Most are sleeping all through the night at 6 months too.

Grand Parents, Dads & Siblings; - Let Grand Parents take over once a week for a

few hours at least so you can pamper yourself. Also involve other children in helping you with Baby, Grandparents too need to be included, let your baby go totheir home for a few hours each week. Or ask them to babysit so you can go out f


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or the evening with your husband or partner. Also include Dads in evenings or times when he is at home, dont push him out, he played his part in the creation ofyour baby too, let him help out at bath times bedtime, all areas. Siblings willwant to help you, so let them, dont stop them from bonding with Baby, supervisethem when they hold baby, allow them to help at bath time, also try to find some time to spend with any older children, so that they wont end up feeling pushedout, include them in the daily routine, tell them Mummy will need to be shared

now and that new baby doesnt mean you dont love them, give them a doll so they can mimic you, girl or boy, dolls are OK for either. - Including your older children will be beneficial to you and them, if you dont include them this could leadto resentment and aggression from your older child in the future. Toddlers loveto help mummy do cleaning so give them a duster and let them " help" keep thembusy and occupied whilst helping them learn, Its also good to give all childrensome chores to do, like tidying their room, picking up toys, putting clothes inwash, never tell them no if they want to help you unless doing something hazardous.

6 months - 1 year; so much is happening with your baby at this time, your babywill learn to walk, talk, laugh, run, play, share, squabble, fight, dance, jump,

plus a whole array of others skills will be learned in this time frame. Alwaysencourage you child to share, be nice to and play with other babies/children ofsimilar ages, by the time baby is 1 year old he /she will be showing signs of independence and of having a mind of their own, he/she will also take their firststeps somewhere around this age, if your baby does something like take first steps, praise him /her, tell them how clever they are and make a fuss of them, cheer, clap any signs of encouragement will be well received. Have a party for the1st Birthday invite any little playmates. At each and every stage of your babiesdevelopment make something special of the event or achievement praise will really help your baby excel, also if your baby takes longer over some milestone suchas walking dont fret about this or try to force baby before hes ready, just sohe will be equal to another persons child of the same age, your baby will do things at his own pace, no two babies will be the same in how they learn, but in yo

ur encouraging and praising your babies achievements youll be helping them to develope confidence and self esteem.

Anything from 1 year old is the time you want to start teaching them what no means, be consistent dont waver, dont say no then change your mind, or yes and thensay no, you have to set boundaries for your child and stick to them, if your child refuses to take any notice of you when you tell him/her no, then start yourdiscipline routine. I always used the chair, I would tell my son no, once , twice would also contain a warning, 3rd time that was it, he went into the chair and was excluded from all family activity until such time as he said sorry, this could be any thing from 1- 5 minutes, but he wasnt allowed out of the chair to join in until he said sorry, I persevered he soon caught on, at about age 2 I began to tell him why he was being put in the chair in more detail and also told himit was because he had been naughty. I wouldnt encourage chastising them by saybed with no tea or something like this, food isnt a reward and cant be used aspunishment, food is a necessity, treats can be stopped as a punishment, but whatever way you decide to discipline/punish/chastise your child stick with it, always. Tell them what they have done that is/was naughty and why if possible. I found that by being firm but fair I got results. I never gave in, hard as that wasat times, I knew if I did that once then that would be it small children are crafty, if they get same response enough times theyll learn, it may take a while but you have to let them know youre the boss and there are rules too, but not by shouting or screaming at them or hitting them, that just teaches them to shout and scream back. The tone of your voice can help them learn.

I left my Son in a supermarket once, he was on the floor rolling around screaming because I said he couldnt have some sweets he wanted so he went into a full blown tantrum, some people said shame on me others said good for you. I took no n


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otice of anyone else, I walked out of the shop and left him to it, some 20 or sominutes later he came walking out looking all sheepish and said sorry Mummy; that was it I forgave him and we then went home he didnt do that again, expect some tears when you discipline them and tantrums, stamped feet, screaming, pleading, theyll use every trick, ignore them, theyll possible strike out at you, ignorethis too name calling, ignore it, screams ignore, threats ignore. theyll soon realise you mean what you say but you must be consistent at all times. If you are

nt this will confuse them and theyll become even harder to handle.

2 year olds; Often referrred to as the terrible two`s, this is because they arecoming into their own at this age, they also see themselves as the centre of their own universe. They will often have opportunities to interact with others ofsame age let them it will be beneficial to their development, you will discoverthey can be quite competitive they can show signs of liking, or disliking, another child, they will fight, kiss, slap, bite, hug, dance with, and all sorts ofother interaction skills are beginning to form, at this age you can help them tolearn to share, be kind, friendly etc, they will also have a sense of theirs, and may not want to let go another childs toy, youll have to gently but firmly remove the toy from their grip, saying thank you and good girl or boy, and give it

back to its owner. Expect tears, stamped feet, tantrums, screams, and more, toavoid this you can teach your child to share with say siblings, other childrenof same age, if you dont encourage your child to share though you could end up having some real issues, and an upset and angry child.

Potty time; Children cannot control their bladder until they are 2 years old give or take a month or 2, although some have been known to be out of nappies muchearlier, that I would think was either luck or reflex action to the coldness orhardness of a potty, so if your toddler is still wearing a nappy start to teachthem to use a potty after theyre 2 years old, dont force them into it its not arace, mine wore his potty, beat it like a drum, everything but sit on it, but then one time he watched his Daddy and from then onwards he wanted to do his peepee in the big daddy pot, within 6 months he was out of nappies day and night, als

o put training pants on them at first, make a fuss of them if they aim in to thepot tell them how clever big and special they are make it a celebration.

Nursery school age 3-4 children can go to nursery school for so many hours eachday usually mornings, its hard to let your baby 3 year old go but go he/she mustits great and invaluable for them to learn about being without Mum being with other children their age, being independent, having an organised environment andmore, it really does prepare them for Infants school.

Teach your toddler his name address and phone number, start doing this when he/she is about 2 years old, they might not be able to remember it to begin with, soyou will need to keep at it, this could prove invaluable should you and your child become separated whilst out shopping or something. We cant be with our children 24/7 and as any parent knows children can be so fast, it may only take a seconds distraction for your child to wander off or be abducted, or similar, so inteaching them their address and phone number and to always inform you of wherethey are going and with whom you could be helping to save them from something nasty.

Teach your toddlers that they are always stay within the sight of a grown up iftheyre out on a pre school outing, also to stay with all other children in the group, so that theyre not on their own. Its a bad world out there and perverts lurk in all areas where kids may be found or not found even, but mostly in areas children frequent, its not always strangers who take them off and hurt them.

Another piece of useful advice is always know where your child is at all times,also who he is with and their address phone number etc,check its a valid addressand phone number too, you take them to the place and you go collect them, dont


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rely on another person to do this, or to be alone with your child, also ask theperson to phone you if your child isnt where they are supposed to be, or if he/she isnt spotted for say 2 minutes or even less.

Maria A.L.PIKE 2009 edited 17/8/2011

positive parenting 0 to 5 yr olds revised august 2011

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