plugged-in parents newsletter (october 2014)

8/11/2019 PLUGGED-IN PARENTS NEWSLETTER (OCTOBER 2014)

1/8

A publication of IBC Student Ministry.

www.ibcl rstudents.org 2014

BE PRESENT

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? AND VOLLEYBALL? ANDBASKETBALL? AND HOMECOMING? AND POWDERPUFF? ANDWINTER FORMAL? ANDTHE LIST KEEPS GOING, AND GOING, AND

GOINGYOU GET THE POINT.

IT IS MOST-LIKELY IMPOSSIBLE TO BE INVOLVED AND PRESENT ATEVERYTHING YOUR CHILD IS INVOLVED IN. HOWEVER, BEINGSTRATEGIC IS TOTALLY DOABLE. FOCUS YOUR INVOLVEMENT ON THETHINGS THAT MATTER MOST TO YOUR TEEN. CONSIDER THEINFLUENCE YOU MIGHT HAVE FROM THE STANDS. WHAT KIND OFFAITH CONVERSATIONS CAN YOU ENGAGE OTHER PARENTS IN? WHATQUESTIONS MIGHT BE ASKED IF YOU IF THEY SAW YOU WEARING ANIBC STUDENTS HOODIE? YOU WILL NEVER KNOW TILL YOURPRESENT.

October Issue

THIS MONTH

" HOME 22:6 PARENT ROUNDTABLE(WEDNESDAYS AT 6 PM)

" GIRLS MINISTRY (10/19)

" FUN FEST (10/29)

" FUSED FALL RETREAT(10/31-11/2)

COMING SOON

" GO CONFERENCE (11/19-23)

" OCC PACKING PARTY (11/23)

" DISCIPLE NOW (1/16-18)

PRAYER FOR MYTEEN

COURAGE

ENGAGE TOP 15 THINGS YOUR

MIDDLE SCHOOL KID

WISHES YOU KNEW

EMPOWERFOUR REASONS PARENTSMUST CONNECT WITHTHEIR CHILD

A MONTHLY PUBLICATION TO HELP PARENTS BETTER PLUG IN TO THESPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OF THEIR STUDENT

PLUGGED IN
http://www.ibclrstudents.org/


2/8



STUDENT MINISTRY STAFF

Matt Hubbard

ead Student Pastor

Melissa Sponer

Girls Ministry Associate

Ross Spigner

Middle School Pastor

Amanda Bea

Ministry Assistant

A publicat ion of IBC Student Mini str y. www.ibclr students.org 2014

MY MOST MEMORABLE

HALLOWEEN COSTUME WAS:

RAGGEDY ANNE

MY MOST MEMORABLEHALLOWEEN COSTUME WAS:

MOUSE (HOMEMADE BYMOTHER HUBBARD)

MY MOST MEMORABL

HALLOWEEN COSTUME W

SCARECROW

MY MOST MEMORABLE

HALLOWEEN COSTUME WAS:

TETRIS (I CUT MUTI-COLORED

PAPER IN TETRIS SHAPES AND

PINNED THEM TO MY SHIRT.)

From Our Heart

By now you should have received your first Home 22:6 Birthday Pack. This and future resources are simply a tools foryou to use to instruct your children in the way of the Lord. Home 22:6 is taken from Proverbs 22:6 which says, "Train achild in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." The word "train" can be defined inDeuteronomy 6:4-9. In today's fast-paced world many parents are looking for their church, Christian school, a mealtimeprayer, or the student ministry to provide the spiritual training for their children. But according to Deuteronomy 6spiritual instruction was to be a way of living. It was to be carried out first as families sat at home, when they walkedalong the road, when they lay down at night, and when they rose up. Spiritual instruction is to be an ongoing practicetaught both by example and instruction. In other words, we teach our children to walk by faith each and every step ofthe way. Our faith becomes who we are not what we do.

Once, raising a child was very straightforward and a common sense affair, but many feel it has become the single most

stressful thing they will do in their lifetime. So, what happened? "Times have changed!"

But, times have alwayschanged. The difference is that even with new technologies, demographics, and economic conditions there were stillabsolutes. There was a time when people understood that in changing times, certain things could not change; that therwere always constant truths in our life. In our world today, those truths are being challenged every day.

If there was ever a time for God's people to be true to His Word, it is now. If we do not pass on our faith to ourchildren we have failed not only our children, but also our Lord. It is never too late to invest truth to your children. I

am grateful for a church whose hearts desire is to see families grow in their faith and do life alongside each other.
http://www.ibclrstudents.org/http://www.ibclrstudents.org/http://www.ibclrstudents.org/


3/8



PRAYER FOR MY TEENThis is an excerpt on Couragein 31 Days of Prayer for My Teen by Susan Alexander Yates (Baker Books).

HERE IS A PERSON WHO WILL STAND STRONG? WHO WILL DO WHAT IS RIGHT NO MATTER WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES MIGHT BE? I LR THAT TO BE MY TEEN. I TOO LONG FOR THAT SORT OF COURAGE.

ATHER, TODAY IM THINKING ABOUT COURAGE. HOW I LONG FOR MY SON TO BECOME A MAN OF COURAGE. IN THIS POST-9/ 11 WORLD IT CAN BE HES GROWING UP IN A WORLD OF TERRORISTS AND IN A WORLD OF CONFUSION. TRUTH HAS BECOME RELATIV E. MAR RIAGE IS BEING REDEFINED

DISTINCTION BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG HAS BECOME BLURRED.

HES UNDER PRESSUR E AT SCHOOL TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT, TO OFFEND NO ONE. TOLERANCE HAS BECOME AN IDOL. IF ONE IS TOLERANT,CCEPTS AN YTH ING. ACCEPTA NCE C AN MEAN GOING ALONG WIT H TH E CROW D, OR AT LE AST KEEPING HIS MOUTH SHUT IF HE DISAGREES WIT H

CROWD. EVEN IF THE CROWD IS V ERY, VERY WRONG.SOMETIMES THE CROWD ISNT ONLY HIS PEERS; ITS THE ADULTS TOO.

SEE THE SAME THING IN MY OWN LIFE, FATHER. ITS SO MUCH EA SIER FOR ME TO JUST GO ALONG WITH OTHER ADULTS THAN IT IS TO TAKE A SAN D R ISK BE ING T HOUGHT F OOLISH.

THER, YOU HAVENT CALLED US TO GO A LONG OR TO REMA IN SILENT. YOU HAVE CA LLED US TO SPEAK THE TRUTH I N LOVE.* YOUR DESIRE IS THENGAGE THE CULTUR E, NOT WITHDRAW FROM IT.* BUT THAT TAKES COURAGE.

FATHER, THROUGHOUT HISTORY THOSE WHO FOLLOW YOU HAVE BEEN IN THE MINORITY. YET YOU HAVE GIVEN THEM THE STRENGTH AND THURAGE TO STAND STRONG. I PR AY THAT YOU WOULD GIVE MY SON CLEAR CONVICTIONS AND THE COUR AGE TO STAND FIRM. GIVE HIM THE STRE

TO RESIST THE PR ESSURE TO JOIN THE CROWD WHEN THEY DO THINGS THEY SHOULDNT. GI VE HIM W ISDOM TO DISCERN THE CROWDS FALSMESSAGES AND INSTEAD TO PROCLAIM THE TRUTH W ITH GRACE. AND FATHER, I ASK FOR THESE THINGS FOR MYSELF AS WELL.

AKE MY SON BOLD AND THOUGHTFUL IN ENGAGING THE CULTURE.* GIV E HIM THE COUR AGE TO SPEAK OUT WITH YOUR TRUTH. LORD, AT TIMELL H AVE TO STAND ALONE. GIVE HIM AN OVERWHELMING SENSE OF YOUR PR ESENCE WHEN THIS HAPPENS. REMIND HIM THAT OTHERS MAY D

HIM BUT YOU NEVER WILL.* THANK YOU THAT YOU HONOR AND USE MEN AND WOMEN OF COURAGE

STRONG AND COURAGEOUS . DO NOT BE TERRIFIED; DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED, FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD WILL BE WITH YOUHEREVER YOU GO. JOSHUA 1:9

RIPTURE REFERENCES (IN ORDER OF STARRED REFERENCES IN PRAYER): EPHESIANS 4: 15; EPHESIANS 6: 14 15 AND ACTS 1: 8; PSA8: 3; HEBREWS 13: 5B

FAITHCONVER

SATION

HELPS:

THEWaytoAbundant

Life

StarterQuestion:

Whatisabundantli

fe?

BiblicalResponse:

Philippians3:7

!10;2Timothy3:12

TransitionQuestion:

Sohowcansinfulma

ninheritabundant'eternallife?

BiblicalResponse:

John10:10'14:6;R

omans6:23;1Pete

r3:18

MyStory:

Ibegantotrulyun

derstandhowtoat

tainthisabundant'

eternallifewhen"

www vimeo

com

www twitter

com

www ins

gram com
http://www.vimeo.com/ibclrstudentshttp://www.twitter.com/ibclrstudentshttp://www.ibclrstudents.org/http://www.instagram.com/ibclrstudentshttp://www.instagram.com/ibclrstudentshttp://www.twitter.com/ibclrstudentshttp://www.facebook.com/ibclrstudentshttp://www.facebook.com/ibclrstudentshttp://www.vimeo.com/ibclrstudents


4/8



COMING SOON

October 31 - Nov 2 MS/HS Fused Fall Retreat at Shepherd of the OzarksNovember 18 - 23 GO Conference

November 23 Girls Ministry Event - 12-2OCC Packing PartyThanksgiving Dinner and Service

November 26 No Student WorshipNovember 27-28 Church offices closed for ThanksgivingDecember 1 Champions Football Banquet

2014 / October


5/8

ENGAGE

TOP 15 THINGS YOUR

MIDDLE SCHOOL KID WISHES

YOU KNEW

1. Respect me. I'm my own person,not just your kid. Sometimes Imight have opinions that di#er fromyours. Sometimes I just want to beyour baby. Respect me either way.

2. I still want to have fun with you, andfeel like home is safe and happy.Smile at me.

3. I need to make some of my ownchoices, and maybe some of myown mistakes. Don't do my workfor me or get me out of every jam.You don't need to be better thanme at everything. Don'tcondescend; you don't need toimpart your elderly wisdom on me ifI have a problem. Please wait forme to ask for your help. If I don'task for it, I might want to work itout for myself. Let me rant withouto#ering advice. Sometimes that's

all I really need, just to talk my waythrough something and for you tojust listen to me.

4. Sometimes I'm going to be moodyand annoyed and frustrated. Youneed to just let that happen (thoughyou shouldn't let me be rude toyou; that's weird andembarrassing). It might just be amood or something might be goingon that I'm not ready to talk aboutyet. If you hang around doing stu#

near me and don't interrupt or try tosolve it as soon as I start, I mightfeel comfortable talking with youabout things.

5. Trust that I'll do my work. If I don't,you can help me manage my time,but wait until I'm not taking care ofresponsibilities to think I can't.Don't just assume I can't handle

responsibility because of my age.Believe in me.

6. It feels really good when you askme to teach you about what I'mlearning or what I'm good at. Youdon't have to be awesome atcomputer programming to let meteach you some cool stu#, forinstance. I have to be a beginnerconstantly. Show me it's OK to stayrelaxed and present when you arestruggling to learn something.

7. I don't like the drama either, and itsurprises me as much as it doesyou. You think it's rough having thisalien lunatic in yourhouse? Tryhaving it in your body, and youcan't even get away.

8. If you don't like my friends, it feelslike you don't trust my judgment orlike I am stupid about choosingfriends. Or both. Ask me what I likeabout them, or what we have fundoing together, or just to tell youabout a new friend. Stay open-minded. Still, if you think my friendsare being bad to me, I need you onmy side that much more.

9. Sometimes I am completelyoverwhelmed and need to zone outfor a while. I am not becoming aslug and will not stay in my roomstaring at a screen for the rest ofmy life. Maybe just for the rest ofthe afternoon.

10.I will fight you every step of the wayif you make me do stu#I don'twant to do (get some exercise, domy homework, write a thank-younote, practice piano, apologize to

my sister, take a shower, weardeodorant...so many things), butyou should probably make me dothem anyway. I know I will feelbetter if I sweat and shower eachday, and develop my study skills,and show up tomorrow prepared,and, and, and. I know! But pleasedon't overwhelm me. I might not beable to do what I should right away.I might need reminders, later, which

will annoy me completely. Remindme anyway.

11.Explain why I'm being criticized orpunished. It feels scary if I don'tunderstand anything beyond thatyou are mad at me. And sometimewhat I need more than a scolding a hug or a cuddle. Especially wheI am more porcupine than puppy.

12.I need to have private jokes withmy friends and not explain them tyou. It's how we bond. You don'tneed to be involved in every aspeof my life to still be loved andneeded by me.

13.If my social life gets to be toomuch, I may need you to force a

little vacation from it on me. Butmost of time what I need is to worthrough how to navigate life onlineand with peers. Now is my chanceto learn how to deal, with your helJust shutting it down keeps mefrom learning how to build my lifeonline with sca#olding provided byou. Stay calm and cool, let meexplain what's going on, and talkthings through with me. Ask moretell less.

14.Especially if I've been feelingstressed, maybe you could justhang out with me. Go to the park get an ice cream or have a catch,whatever; it feels good to just dosomething together withoutdiscussing or solving or teachinganything.

15.I like it when you think I'm funny. Ointeresting. Or awesome. I actuallydo care what you think about me.

Please find something specific yoactually like about me becausesometimes I can't find anything inmyself to like at all. I might roll myeyes, but your words and

judgments do matter to me, and Iwill remember them, the good andthe bad. I will keep them with melike treasures even when I lose mykeys and wallet and ID. Which I




6/8

probably will. More than once.Sorry.

And bonus extra important thing you

should know: The fact that my opinionson this and anything else might changetomorrow does not mean I don't feelthem fiercely today. Keep up. I loveyou. Remind me you still love me, too.

BY RACHEL VAIL,BLOGGERS FOR

WWW.HUFFINGTONPOST.COM AND

AUTHOR OF UNFRIENDED

EQUIP

FOUR REASONS

PARENTS MUST

CONNECT WITH THEIR

CHILD

Parent-child connectedness canbe defined as being closelybonded by common traditionsand frequently occurringactivities. I think a good shortdefinition would be intentionaltogetherness. Its eating dinnerfive or more times a week as afamily, as opposed to eating onthe run or in front of thetelevisionor other screens. Itsdusting o#the ChristmasComedy Classics CD to playGrandma Got Run Over By AReindeer and The Hat I Got ForChristmas Is Too Big to o$ciallyring in the holiday season.(Maybe your family traditionsare classier than ours?) Itsgetting excited about laser tagin all its glory when your son is

ten, and hosting a 9.3 hour Lord of theRingstrilogy marathon when hesfifteen. Its playing, camping, cooking,and studying with your child. Qualitytime? A myth! Our kids need quantitythat comes with great quality here andthere.

Why Does Connecting Matter?

Your childs brain development relies

on connecting.

In 2005, the findings of a new studyreleased in Pediatrics report thatparent-infant connectionintentionaltogethernessplays a key role inshaping the right side of an infantsbrain during the first year of life. Some

psychologists feel so strongly aboutthe parent/child connectedness thatshould occur in the first year of life,that they advocate for a 56-weekmaternity leave much like employeesin Europe receive. Furthering thisimportant brain development research,is Dr. Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr. of theMedical Institute for Sexual Health. Hisgroundbreaking research on the brainproves that a second critical phase of

brain development occurs just beforeand during puberty. The part of thebrain growing during these periodscontrols value formationtheunderstanding of right and wrong.

These researchers are not just talkingabout the emotional and moral

development of the child, but theactual physical brain growth. Whatthey are really saying is that we ough

to be connectedby physicaproximity as well as emotionaactivityso our childrensbrains can grow as Godintended.

Your child is less likely to

experience at-risk behavior

if he or she experiences

parent/child connectedness

As I have continued myresearch in the late 1990s righup to the present, I have beenbombarded by the wordsparent/child connectednessConnectedness reduces therisk of dropping out of schoocrime, substance abuse andsexual activity. It increasesacademic performance, sociacontribution and the changes

of having healthy emotions anrelationships.

Your child is more likely to

experience positive pro-

social behavior if he or she

experiences parent/child

connectedness.

This might include academic,social or spiritual success. Itcan also manifest as a senseof caring and concern in her

family and friendships. In general, hebe more socially responsible if heexperienceswell, a little bit of familylaser tag and a whole lot of dinnerstogether!

Gods word prescribes parent-child

connectedness.

Heres a valuable Bible verse tomemorize and take to heart




7/8

concerning connection. Proverbs 22:6reads:

Train up a child in theway he should go, and

when he is old he willnot depart from it.

At first glance, it is easy to see thatGod is a$rming the way that is rightfor us to follow, in general. And thatscorrect, because the word trainis theHebrew wordhanakand would be besttranslated dedicate. This wouldindicate that our children are to bededicated to God and His ways, butthere is a deeper treasure hidden in

this verse for us.

The Hebrew word for way used in thisverse is derek. Literally, it means myway or bent. It was a Hebrewmarksmans term. Marksmen of thatday and age did not receive a standardissue bow and arrow with wires and

buttons to adjust the bow to thespecific environment. Rather, eachmarksman went out and found his ownpiece of wood, and crafted it carefullyinto a bow. Since each bow was madeof di#erent kinds of wood with varyingstrengths and levels of moisture, it waslikely that it took hours and days to

actually learn the unique bent ortendency of the wood so that amarksman could be accurate with it.The word derekrefers to the processof learning the wood.

What I think God is saying to you andto me is this: Ive got a specific waythat Id like you to dedicate your childto follow, but to be successful youvegot to know the unique strengths and

qualities of your child. And by the way,thatll take some time. So plan oninvesting it. Connect to them so youcan connect them to me.

What a task we have asparents.

Not only do we need to know andabsorb Gods moral value system, buweve got to be students of our

childrenlearning each childsbentso we can impart those valuein creative ways that will impact yourchild according to his or her uniquedi#erences.

THIS ARTICLE IS EXCERPTED AND EDITED

FROM SIX WAYS TO KEEP THE GOOD IN YOUR

BOYBY DANNAH GRESH,,BEST SELLING

AUTHOR,SPEAKER,CREATOR OF SECRET

KEEPER GIRL



WWW IBCLRSTUDENTS ORG MERCH
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plugged-in parents newsletter (october 2014)

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