pimp your writing!
TRANSCRIPT
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Pimp Your Writing!
How to kick some life intoyour writing
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How interesting is this?
Read the following sentences a student
wrote in her (supposedly) descriptive
passage about a friend:
Dave is my friend. He is tall and thin. He is
nice and friendly. He works hard in
school.
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Rate those lines
Dave is my friend. He is tall and thin. He is nice
and friendly. He works hard in school.
How interesting were those lines? If you thoughtthey were dreadfully boring, put your head on
your desk.
If you thought they were amazingly interesting,
wave your hands in the air.
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yawn
Those lines were as tired and boring as this car! Lets pimp them
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This is better:
As tall as Shaquille ONeal (though without
the skill!), Dave towers over us all. It
doesnt matter who he sits next to in class,
hes always friendly and will help anyonewith their work. When he tutors me, he is
as patient as a rivers tranquil flow. Its
wonderful to have a phenomenal friendlike him!
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Now, thats what Im talking
about!
Those lines were as vibrant and colorful as this pimped out car.
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What should be in your toolchest:
Similes: As tall as a Shaquille ONeal
Powerful adjectives: phenomenal
Strong, descriptive verbs: towers
Examples: It doesnt matter who he sits next toin class, hes always friendly and will help
anyone with their work.
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Other tools from theprofessionals
Metaphor
ParadoxPersonification
Imagery
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metaphor
Boring: Without dreams, life sucks.
Pimped out:For when dreams go/Life is a barren field/ Frozen in thesnow.
From Dreams by Langston Hughes (the mack daddy of the Harlem Renaissance)
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personification
Boring: The tornado was loud!
Pimped out:She sighs clouds,/ headthrown back, eyes closed, roars/ andrivers leap
From Uncoiling by Pat Mora (the bomb!)
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paradox
Boring: I really, really, really love you.
Pimped out:What becomes more andmore secure, the longer it is battered byinconstancy and the stress we find in our
lives?
From Sonnets on Love XIII by Jean de Sponde (This dude had game!)
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imagery Boring: Summer is so hot!
Pimped out:
I like hot days, hot days
Sweat is what you got days
Bugs buzzin from cousin to cousin
Juices dripping
Running and rippingCatch the ones you love days
from Summer by Walter Dean Myers (a whiz-bang way to describe summer)
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more examples of pimped outwriting
Boring: I saw SO many daffodils!!!!
Pimped out:
When all at once I saw a crowd,A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
From I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud by William Wordsworth (the O.R.-the Original Romanticist)
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Boring: Mom, you were a really good
influence on your family.
Pimped out:
Your breath moves through the family likethe wind moves through the trees.
From A Voice by Pat Mora (Mora has mad skills with imagery.)
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Boring: I have a really tough decision to
make. What should I do??
Pimped out:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could.
From The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost (Robert Frost is chill. Get? Frost? Chill? Hahahaha!)
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Hmmmm
We interrupt this horribly amateur
PowerPoint with a question:
Why do you think Robert Frost chose the
title The Road NotTaken? Why not The
Road Taken since that has made all the
difference?
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Boring: I cried. A lot. And I dont usually cry.
Pimped out:Then can I drown an eye,unused to flow
From Sonnet 30 by William Shakespeare, O.P. (the original pimp)
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OkNOW YOU TRY!
Pimp this: Spring is pretty. The flowersare blooming
Now this: That (boy, girl) is so cute!
And this: The snow if falling. It is so cold!
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a couple more:
yawn: My bedroom looks like a tornado hitit.
Have fun with this one: My (English,Math, Science, or History) teacher is so
boring. When (he, she) starts talking, I
want to go to sleep.
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So, rememberAs you work on your poetry
portfolios, ask yourself this question: Do I want my
writing to look like this?
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or this?