picture yourself slow dancing - delmarlearning.com · 62 picture yourself dancing the six ws of...

Picture Yourself

Picture yourself and your dance partnerwalking out to the center of the dance floor. Itmight be your 30th anniversary, a romantic

evening, or a quiet moment at home with good music.On the more formal end of the spectrum, it might beyour wedding day, and now that the vows have beenexchanged and the rings are on the fingers, it is time tocelebrate with that memorable first dance. Your newbride is on your arm, smiling, looking more beautifulthan you have ever seen her. You are feeling very sharpyourself in your tuxedo—who knew you were that tallwhen you stood up straight? As you reach the center ofthe floor, the moment arrives. You gently take yourwife’s hand from your arm, lift it, and spin her out awayfrom you, only to draw her back in and begin your dance.You confidently lead her through your first dance, movingaround the floor, spinning her, and finishing the momentwith a picture-perfect dip, all captured by your videogra-pher and photographer. Your wife is beaming as you two return to your table and continue the festivities as the cheers from your friends and family membersslowly subside.

Slow Dancing

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Picture Yourself Dancing62

The Six Ws of Slow Dance

follower’s arms draped around the leader’s neckand the leader’s arms either clasped conservativelyaround the follower’s waist or, if he is feeling a bitfresh, they might reach down to her derriere. Asintimate as this form of dancing is for the partici-pants, it is downright boring to watch.

This is where the Slow Dance for Romance comesinto play. The Slow Dance for Romance taught inthis text and on the accompanying DVD, and inShawn Trautman’s Learn to Dance series, specificallyon the Couples Ultimate Dance Sampler, takes“cling and sway” to a whole new level, makinggraceful and deliberate lead-and-follow dancingattainable for every beginner. This combination of leadable moves and simple footwork makes amundane slow dance into a romantic event toremember both for the dancers and for anyonewho has the pleasure of being an audience.

Where Did Slow DanceOriginate and Where Is ItTypically Done? As mentioned previously, slow dancing is anAmerican tradition that has subsequently spread toother cultures, accompanying the music to whichit is danced. There is no specific geographic regionwithin the United States that can be credited withthe creation of the slow dance.

Slow dancing is done in myriad settings. The slowdance being taught in this chapter is appropriate inthe nightclub setting; at a dance; at a formal event,such as a reunion or a wedding; or even in the privacyof your own living room. The slow dance taught inthis text is as enjoyable to dance as it is to watch.

As you’ll recall from Chapter 1, thereare six Ws of dance: who, what, where,when, why, and wear. The following sections

will walk you through the six Ws of slow dance.

Who Popularized Slow Dance? Slow dancing is a distinctly American tradition thathas been adopted by some other cultures alongwith the music it accompanies. No particular indi-vidual can be credited with the popularization ofcontemporary slow dancing; rather, it was popular-ized by a generation and a type of music. Theyouth of every era redefine slow dancing for theircontemporaries as they shape their musical tastes.

What Is Slow Dance?Slow dancing is meant to be an impromptu roman-tic escape from the mundane for two people. In itsmost basic form, the slow dance you frequently seeis the standard “cling and sway.” Occasionally, anadventurous leader will heat it up by wobblingaround in a circle while he and his partner cling to each other. This basic form is typified by the

Picture Yourself Slow Dancing 63

Slow dancing is appropriate on innumerable occa-sions. Because of the simplicity of the dance taughtin this text, it is extremely versatile and can beused in any genre of romantic music, be it softrock, country, Latin, Top 40, or any one of manyothers. If you are a beginner social dancer, theappropriate time to learn to slow dance is now. You will be learning the basics of lead-and-followdancing as well as moves that you will use in moreintricate dances to the slower tempo and simplefootwork of the slow dance.

Why Is the Slow Dance Danced?The slow dance is danced as an intimate andromantic interlude between the two dancers. It is

a dance of romancerather than passionor desire, like therhumba or tango. It is more intimatethan the waltz and ismore appropriate onoccasions when thewaltz is too stylizedor formal. It is also a romantic dancecreated to accompanythe 4/4 timing ofcontemporary music.

What Kind of Attire Should Be Worn? There is no dress code or standard apparel for theslow dance. Whatever you happen to be wearingwhen you are with your dance partner and theright song starts playing is perfectly appropriate.

When Did Slow Dance BecomePopular and When Is the RightTime to Slow Dance?The slow dance as we know it today emerged inthe 1960s, when dancing to popular upbeat music(versus slow and romantic ballads) shifted fromcouples dancing to solo dancing where men andwomen danced together, but touching was discouraged and individuality was encouraged.There was a shift in emphasis from rhythm to lyricswhen appreciating contemporary Top 40 music.The ’60s also marked the advent of rock concerts,where dancing became nothing more than swayingback and forth. This is the root of today’s slowdance. The slow dance taught in this text takes the

simplicity ofthe root slowdance justdescribed, addsadditionalmovementthrough sim-ple footwork,and incorpo-rates leads andmoves from avariety ofdances to addinterest andzest to a simpleand romanticslow dance.

©istockphoto.com/Justin Horrocks


Visualize the Slow Dance

Also, write down any questions that you mighthave at this point. There’s a good chance you willfind the answer later on in this chapter, and if it’ssomething you’re already pondering, you’re sure toremember the answer for the long-term.

You’ll find that by time you get ready to stand upand try the DVD, the dancing won’t be nearly asoverwhelming. Writing down the key concepts willallow you to get a jumpstart on the rest of thechapter. You’ll also find that after you get up andtry it, you’ll probably have more questions. As thischapter goes on, the steps will be broken up withscreenshots from the DVD, pointers will be givenon where you should be during different parts ofthe dance, and frequently asked questions will beaddressed that should satisfy most (if not all) ofyour questions, and then some.

The third time you view the DVD, go ahead anddance along with it. See how far you can make itjust by watching and trying. You’ll probably findthat one of the two of you is able to pick up andunderstand the material quicker than the other.

Sometimes conceptually it’s hard toget a good feel for what you’re attempting tolearn until after you see someone else doing

it. Once you’ve seen it, you allow your mind tostart processing ideas about how to get your bodyto do the same thing. Before we get into the nutsand bolts of how to slow dance, take a few minutesto turn on your DVD player and view the sectionentitled “Slow Dancing.”

It’s best if you watch the section one time throughwithout trying to do any of it. Just give your minda chance to absorb the material so it’s somewhatfamiliar to you when you replay the section. Watchhow the dancers move, think about the words thatare used, and picture yourself doing the slow dance.

The second time you go through it, take notes.Begin to jot down the important parts of the danceso you can engage other parts of the kinestheticlearning prior to getting up and dancing along.Write down what the connection points are, whatthe basic steps are called, how many counts are ina basic, how to align with your partner, and so on.

Just remember, everyone learns at a different pace. Be cognizant of this asyou’re learning with your partner. One ofyou might pick up certain aspects of thedance quicker than the other, and that’sokay. Try to be patient and wait for theother person to grasp the material, andthen move on.


Now, take a look at the rest of these pictures. All ofthem are taken of couples slow dancing. Some areformal and some are very informal, but the couplesare all doing the same steps. See whether you canvisualize yourself slow dancing (the dance you justwatched over and over) in all these different set-tings. Then, picture yourself slow dancing at eventsyou have coming up or at local venues where youand your partner can go. If you can see it, you cando it.


Slow Dance Basics

But first, let’s not forget the two most importantrules:

1. Ladies are always right! Ladies, put yourweight on your left foot so you can be readyto start with your right. (This is what’s calledyour ready position.)

2. Guys always get what’s left. Guys, put yourweight on your right foot so you can beready to start with your left. (This is yourready position.)

The Four-Count BasicThe four-count basic of slow dancing is made up oftwo sets of steps and touches, or step-touches. Inlayman’s terms, it’s said out loud like this:

Step, touch, step, touch

If you’re more mathematically inclined and like touse numbers, it’s counted like this:

One, two, three, four

Before we get too far down the roadhere, let’s make one thing perfectly clear: All slow songs can include a nice, elegant,

and romantic slow dance. (In other words, there’sno song too slow to dance a slow dance to.) Theremight be songs that feel better to dance to andmight even be easier to dance to, so let’s just saythat all songs qualify. For practice purposes for thisdance, you can turn the radio on to whatever yourfavorite station is and “assume the position.” Danceto anything and everything up front until you getfamiliar with the basics and feel good about theleading and following portions. Having said allthat, let’s get into the dance.

In the four-count slow dance basic, eachstep or touch consists of only one count—nothing more, nothing less. It’s very evenand smooth, which helps people whohave very little rhythm.


To try the slow-dance basics in place, assume footposition 1 and be in your ready position.

1. First step down with your free foot. Makesure you change weight on this one.

2. Using just the toe of the foot that is nowfree, touch down beside the other foot.Make sure you do not change weight tothe toe you’re touching with.

3. Lift that toe off the ground momentarilyafter Step 2, and then step back downonto it with a definite change of weight.

4. Just like in Step 2, use just the toe of thefoot that is now free and touch downbeside the other foot. Again, make sureyou do not change weight to the toeyou’re touching with on this one.

Now that you’re able to do these steps in place,let’s go ahead and move a little bit with them.

Try it moving back and forth over and over, doingstep-touches. Steps 1 and 3 both use foot positiontwo (FP2), and Steps 2 and 4 use foot position one(FP1). Leaders, your first step is to the left, aboutshoulder-width or so apart, and followers, your firststep is to the right. Try not to be stiff-legged in thisone as you start to move. Relax and enjoy.

MirroringGo ahead and face each other, giving yourselvesanywhere from about two to five feet of space in between. You should now be in open danceposition. The very first thing we’ll go through willrequire the leader to move off to each of the eightdirectional possibilities, and the follower willattempt to mirror him. As you are probably envi-sioning right now, this means that as the leadertakes a single step to his left while still facing thefollower, the follower then takes the same-sizedstep to her right. The “identical” movement thatthe follower creates is called mirroring, and it’s partof the “visual” aspect of following.


Leaders, go ahead and take a step with your leftfoot. This is not an exercise in trying to trick yourpartner by moving at the last second; rather, it isone where trust is starting to be built. Do the slow-dance basic footwork, and this exerciseshould not be a problem. Each time it is started,the leader should start with his left foot and thefollower should start with her right.

Leaders, feel free to test any one of the eight direc-tional possibilities with your first step. Naturally,the second foot or step for the leader should be inthe exact opposite direction to take him back tocenter. For example, if the leader steps forward onthe first step, then he should step backward on thesecond; if the leader steps front-left on the firststep, he should step back-right on the second.


The Four-Count Basic as a CoupleNow that you’re both experts on doing the basicson your own and in all the different directions, it’stime to try them together. Hopefully you completedthe exercise on the previous page and didn’t justskip right to the dancing. If you skipped right tothe dancing and didn’t practice it on your own,you might have a tough time figuring out whereany problems are if they arise. Practicing beforecoming together is critical to building the confi-dence of each partner and, especially if this is yourfirst dance, you want to come in with high expecta-tions. Social ballroom dancing is probably close to25-percent skill and 75-percent attitude, so wehope you’re in good spirits moving forward here.

Your toolkit for the slow-dance basics includes:

�Foot position 1 (ready position andcounts 2 and 4 of the basic)

�Foot position 2 (counts 1 and 3 of the basic)

�Connection points 1–4 (all will be usedhere in the basic)

�Four-count basic (essential for the slowdance to work)

Next, try to do this exercise to music. Almost anysong will work, so go ahead and pick your favorite.It’ll be the last thing you try before putting it alltogether and dancing for the first time. Leaders,you might want to count out loud to give thefollower a chance to match you step for step whenyou start. This means the leader will say “5-6-7-8”and then step with his left foot. Another option isto say “Ready, and” or “Ready, set,” which effectivelytakes the place of numbers 7 and 8. Leaders, try afew of these starting points and see which oneyou’re comfortable with.

If either partner gets on the “wrong foot”or goofs up during the exercise, just stop,laugh, and start back up again after theleader counts it off… 5-6-7-8, and you’reback dancing again.


Okay, let’s get into position and get this show started.The first thing you want to do is get into yourdance position with your partner (use all four connection points) and be in your ready position.Leaders, go ahead and give your countdown (5-6-7-8)and move off to your left and then back to yourright, and then repeat it over and over. Okay, you’redoing the basics now. . .step, touch, step, touch,step, touch, step, touch. . . . Great job!

Now, let’s juice it up a bit. This time when you go totry it, let’s have the leaders actually lead it. By lead-ing, we’re not talking about verbal leads; we’re talk-ing about through the body. Leaders, when you’reready, let’s see whether we can put this together andmake it work. You have four connection points thatyou will use here to help you out. The two mostimportant ones to start the dance will be connectionpoints 1 and 2. Leaders, your left and right handsmust be in sync on this one because both of themare necessary to provide guidance for the follower. Asimultaneous movement of both of hands in equalforce to your left at the same time that you step willget your partner moving. Give it a shot.

Did it work? If so, you did each of the followingthings. (You should aim for at least two of the three.)

�You successfully transferred her weightfrom her left foot to her right.

�You managed to keep her directly infront of you.

�You kept a smile on her face or caused one.

Did you realize that when you were leading her tothe left, you used the palm of your right handmore than anything else? Remember, it has to beequal between the two hands. Truly, if the followeris able to feel your hands at all and she doesn’t feellike she’s nicely fastened and on some kind of aride, it might need some work.

Regardless, now that she’s here, you have to getback to the other side where you started. This time,leaders, instead of using your left hand and thepalm of your right hand, you want to use your lefthand and the fingers of your right hand. The lefthand remains steady, yet it moves to the right andthe fingers, together (not digging into her skin),will gently pull (guide) her back to the right ifyou’re cupping her shoulder blade appropriately.Now, as she moves off to the right heading backtoward the starting point, where her weight wouldchange to her left foot, you, as the leader, want toslow her momentum down by using the palm ofyour right hand—sort of a nice cushiony landing,just to start back up again.

For the FollowersFollowers, this next part might be difficult to com-prehend because you probably want to help, buttry your best. If the leader isn’t perfectly clear onthe lead (in other words, the motion or the guid-ance), don’t move! You don’t want to be stubbornand just stand there, but if the lead isn’t nearlyperfect, make him improve it. There shouldn’t bemuch of an argument here—either you feel it andit’s enough or you don’t. The only major thing youneed to focus on here is being in good frame andsitting slightly back into connection point 2.


For the LeadersLeaders, listen up. If you give a lady a choice (onthe dance floor), she’ll take it! If you leave the dooropen for interpretation, you never know what you’llend up with. Nothing personal here, ladies; it wouldbe the same if you were leading. Okay leaders, takeyour partner in your arms in closed dance position(with the four connection points, of course) and trythe basics again. Try it over and over and practicethe leads going both directions. Have your followerclose her eyes and see whether she can follow whatyou’re doing. If you’re leading correctly, your part-ner will match your speed and do exactly whatyour body tells her to do. If the follower is havingdifficulty, there’s a better than 90-percent chance ithas something to do with the lead.

Remember that ladies are alwaysright, and men always get what’s left.

Followers, be sure to let the leader setthe tempo on the dance floor. It ismore important that the two of youdance together than to the beat of themusic. If the leader is dancing to thebeat of his own drum, or at least abeat not discernible to you, followhim anyway. The worst thing that willhappen is a true critic might look atthe two of you and wonder whetherthey are hearing the beat correctly. Ifyou try to correct your partner in themiddle of the dance, or worse, startdancing to a different beat, it willbecome painfully obvious that one ofthe two of you is off beat and thatyou aren’t dancing together.

The Basics in All DirectionsNow that you’re both experts on doing the basicsfrom side to side, you’ll find that you might soonget bored, if you haven’t already. What you’ll donow is move not only from side to side, but alsoforward and back and at diagonals. (You’ll use youreight directional possibilities on these.) The step-by-step guide is broken down for leaders and fol-lowers separately, but you should both try to learnthe opposite footwork to give you a better perspec-tive of what’s happening with your partner.

For the Leaders: Part 1Leaders, on your next basic you’ll step front-left onthe first count (extended third foot position), tapyour right foot together on two (first foot positionwith your weight still on your left foot), and thenstep back-right with your right foot on three (back to the extended third foot position again),and then tap your left foot together on four (backto the first foot position), which brings you backinto the ready position to start a new direction.Below is the visual depiction of your steps.


For the Followers: Part 1Followers, your steps are the exact opposite onthis one. You’re going to step back-right on thefirst count, tap your left foot together on two(first foot position with your weight still on yourright foot), and then step front-left with yourleft foot on three, and then tap your right foottogether on four (back to the first foot position),which brings you back into the ready positionto start a new direction. At the right is the visualdepiction of your steps.

New Dimension to the LeadWhen you were just going side to side in thefour-count basic, the majority of the lead camethrough connection points 1 and 2, whereasconnection points 3 and 4 were just along forthe ride and to keep you looking good. Withthese next steps, all four connection pointsbecome engaged. Leaders, connection point 3(your right elbow) will be slightly lifted (an inchor two) in order to shift your follower’s weightfrom a balanced perspective to one where herweight is now in motion backward. This shouldcause her to take a backward step when shemoves. In addition, the leader will be steppingtoward the follower, triggering connection point4 on the inside edge of the leader’s right shoul-der. Followers should feel pressure on their lefthand and, in order to maintain their frame, theyshould then want to move backward to keep theproper distance. In contrast, by slightly droppingthe elbow (connection point 3), the leaderallows the follower’s weight to shift toward theelbow, which makes it easier to lead steps inwhich you need the follower to move towardyou (in other words, you’re stepping back in some direction).


For the Leaders: Part 2You’ll now add onto what you just learned in Part1. After you get back into a ready position fromdoing the four counts going front-left, you’ll goback-left. The steps are broken down as follows.

Leaders, on your next basic you’ll step back-left on the first count, tap your right foot togetheron count two (first foot position with yourweight still on your left foot), and then stepfront-right with your right foot on three (back to the extended third foot position again), andthen tap your left foot together on four (back to the first foot position), which brings you backinto the ready position to start a new direction. At the right is a visual depiction of the steps.

For the Followers: Part 2Followers, your steps are the exact opposite onthis one. You’re going to step front-right on thefirst count, tap your left foot together on two (first foot position with your weight still on yourright foot), and then step back-left with your leftfoot on three, and then tap your right foot togetheron four (back to the first foot position), whichbrings you back into the ready position to start anew direction. At the right is a visual depiction ofthe steps.

Mixing Up the Directions for PracticeLeaders, it’s now up to you to start putting a fewpieces together to test out your lead. Under yourbelt, you now have a number of steps that you canexecute in almost any order as long as you startwith your left foot, and only after completing abasic with your right foot.


The steps that you can mix up and try in any orderinclude:

�Side basics (left and right)

�Front-left basic

�Back-right basic

�Back-left basic

�Front-right basic

The side basics (left and right) are what you shouldconsider your default basic. If at any time duringthe dance the leader cannot think of anything elseto do or just wants to take it easy for a moment,these are the steps that should be done. Then, atany point after completing a basic, the leader canstep either front-left or back-left because he hasthe option to decide where to go.

To practice all of what you know at this point, turnon your favorite song and assume the position (thefour connection points and your ready position).Leaders, you’ll want to start out doing the basics atime or two or three or four, and then, when you’reready, try to go either front-left after completing abasic or back-left and see what happens.

Immediately thereafter, try to return to where youstarted, and then either go into your default basicsagain or go directly into another direction (eitherthe same one you just did or the opposite direc-tions). Play with it by trying different directionsover and over until both you and your partner feel good about it, and don’t be afraid to makemistakes. Mistakes will happen, and feet will prob-ably be stepped on. It’s okay! In fact, it’s perfectlynormal. Just be courteous and respectful when ithappens, and try to laugh it off as much as possible.The more fun you have with it, the better yourchances of continuing the practice and of practic-ing what’s right.Leaders, it’s always best to

start a move after completing abasic (left then right), but it’snot an absolute. If you wantedto start back-right, for instance,you could do so after doing theleft part of your side basic, butit might confuse you up front ifyou mix the moves up too much.

Until you’re comfortable, youmight want to stay with thestructure of doing everything in sets of two.


Here’s the part where you get to startmoving around in different directions. Nolonger will you have stay one-dimensional

by just going back and forth and frontward and backward. You’ll now get a chance to move in a circle you’ll create, either to the left or to the right.Remember, the moves are called out for the leaders,so if it’s called a left turn, the leader will be turningto the left, and if it’s a right turn, the leader will beturning off to the right. It’s important for the follow-ers not to get caught up in the names, or else they’llbe thinking about directions and not following them.We’ll start out with the left turns because they’re typ-ically a bit more difficult than the right ones.

Left TurnsThe left turns will enable you to add movement andchange your direction. This move is called a left turnbecause you will be turning to the leader’s left.

For the LeadersLeaders, you’ll want to start with one basic left toright, and then stop once you get to your readyposition. On your next basic, you’ll step back onthe first count into an extended third foot position,which means although you’re stepping back, you’llbe stepping back and turning your left foot to facea new direction. Try to keep the step fairly small,maybe eight inches or less from the back of yourright foot. You’ll then tap your right foot togetheron two (first foot position with your weight still onyour left foot), and then step right with your rightfoot on three (back to the second foot position),and then tap your left foot together on four (backto the first foot position), which brings you backinto the ready position to start a new direction. At the right is the visual depiction of your steps.

Left and Right Turns


For the FollowersFollowers, your steps are the exact opposite on thisone. You’re going to step front-right on the firstcount, but you’ll do so a bit differently—your footwill end up facing your partner, rather than facingaway from him. Take a look at the first figure at theright to get a visual of this. Then, you’ll tap yourleft foot together on two (first foot position withyour weight still on your right foot), and then stepleft with your left foot on three, and then tap yourright foot together on four (back to the first footposition), which brings you back into the readyposition to start a new direction.

Right TurnsAnother movement-maker, right turns will allowyou to “unwind” from your left-hand turns. Likeleft turns, the name right turn is assigned becauseyou will be turning to the leader’s right.

For the LeadersThe right turn starts out a bit differently than theother steps that we’ve done to this point. On thisone, leaders, you’ll want to start from a ready posi-tion and do a half of a basic, which means you’llstep left with your left foot (into the second footposition) on the first count. On count two, you’llbring your right foot together and touch (first footposition). The first two steps here are essentiallythe first half of a basic. The next two steps arewhere all the action happens for the right turns, sobuckle up and hold on tight. Now that your weightis on your left foot and your right foot is free tostep, you’re going to step off to the right into anextended third foot position (see the third figure atthe right), where you’ll step directly between yourpartner’s two feet if this is done correctly. Countfour on this one is simply bringing your left foottogether (back to the first foot position in a newdirection) and tapping, which brings you back intothe ready position so you can start a new move.


For the FollowersJust like all the other steps thus far, the followers’steps are the exact opposite on this one. The firsttwo counts are the same as your regular basics(step right with your right and then touch withyour left). Through this point, you should feelnothing different in the lead, as it feels like you’redoing the basics. As you go to step with your leftfor count three, you should feel like you’re beingpulled forward and to the right, which will forceyour body into turning toward your partner as youstep. You’ll essentially be cutting the corner anddoing about a quarter turn to the right as you stepforward with your left. At the end of count three,you should be facing your partner with yourweight on your left foot, and your partner’s rightfoot should be just to the right of your left. (Hisright foot is supposed to be in between your twofeet.) Count four should be your normal countfour, as you’ll bring your right foot together (intothe first foot position) and tap. At this point, you’llbe back to the ready position and ready to start thenext move.

Leaders, make sure you shift your entireframe to the right when you’re placingyour partner where she needs to go.Connection point 2 is used the most forthis one, as you’ll feel like you’re pullingyour partner into place to get her to stepwhere she needs to.


The following are a number of drillsset up specifically for you to practice whatyou’ve learned. Instead of just picturing your-

self slow dancing, this is where you’ll put it alltogether and dance it for yourself. Try to go througheach one of the drills because they focus on differentmoves, leads, and thinking patterns. At this point,you should feel confident enough to take your slowdance with you just about anywhere to show it off.

Drill 1: Normal, Close, and ReallyClose (Three Different Distances)Set up in your ready position and four connectionpoints and do the basics a couple of times. Stopand set up again, but this time you should cut thespace between you and your partner in half and trya few more basics. Then, stop a second time andreposition yourself again. This time, you shouldalmost be touching with your bodies. You’ll noticethat the connection points will have to changeslightly to account for the close quarters, but thatyou can still do the leading and following. Therewill be an appropriate time for each of these dis-tances, and you’ll get to pick it. Try them out andtest the different moves at each distance, as shownin the images on this page.

Fun Drills to Put It All Together

Followers, as your stance gets closer,your connection point 4 becomes moreand more important. A quick and sneakyway to maintain your part of the danceframe when extremely close to yourleader is to make sure you are offset tothe left. This will also help your neck ifyou are shorter than your partner. If yourpartner is to your right, you can press upagainst his shoulder blade and still lookhim in the eye without getting a kink inyour neck from looking up at him fromthe side rather than directly head-on.


Drill 2: Slow, Medium, and Fast(Three Different Speeds)Turn on the radio and test out a few differentsongs. Try to dance to a few different speeds soyou’ll know what you’re most comfortable with.Some songs will be so slow that you feel like you’redragging, and other songs you considered slow willfeel more like a swing once you start dancing tothe beat. It’s best to test the different song speedsat home so you’ll get a good feel for them prior tobeing out in front of others. For the really slowsongs, you’ll see that it takes quite a bit more con-trol than for the faster ones, and the ones in themiddle will feel very comfortable. Go ahead; give afew songs a try.

Drill 3: The Basics, Front and BackHere, you’ll go back and work on just the basics,but you’ll do them left and right, and then frontand back, and in non-repeating patterns that covereach step. Start with a few basics, then do themfront and back, then a basic or two, then back andfront, and so on. This drill will reinforce the lead-ers’ ability to change direction and the followers’ability to follow. Practice these steps until bothpartners are comfortable moving in each direction.You can combine this drill with Drill 1 or 2.

Drill 4: Left and Right TurnsStart with a couple of basics and then do two orthree left turns. Then, after a basic or two, do a fewright turns until you’re comfortable. After you’vedone each of them individually, start combiningthem—do a left turn, then a right, then a left, thentwo right turns, and so on, just to mix it up andtest the lead.

Drill 5: Putting It All TogetherHere, you’ll take your first real shot at putting it alltogether. Go through each of the moves one timein a very controlled manner. First the basics, thenthe front and back basics, then the combination ofthe two, then the left turns, then the right turns,and so on. Once you’ve gone through them once,try to put your own spin on things. Leaders, try todance through each of the moves, but put them ina different order so the follower cannot predictwhat’s coming up. This will help with your leadand also with her follow. Try them many differentways until you’re both comfortable.

Drill 6: Testing the LeadLeaders, this is where it gets fun and interesting.Go ahead and drop connection point 1 and useonly connection points 2, 3, and 4. You’re nowgoing to lead your partner through all of the differ-ent moves, but you’re going to do it without yourleft hand. First, just work on the basics. Do a fewleft and right and focus on using your right handas a guide for both directions. Then, add in thefront and back basics combined with the left andright basics. Now you should start to feel likeyou’re really taking hold here. It’s about to getinteresting. When you’re comfortable with thebasics in all directions, you get to try the left andright turns. Start with the left turns and see how itgoes. Try not to be forceful (remember, this is asmooth dance) as you place your partner in frontof you over and over. Then, change direction andgo the other way for the right turns. This oneshould feel a bit easier for you if you have the rightcontrol. After you’ve done each direction, startlooking to combine all the moves together and tryto dance an entire song.


Hot Tips for Slow Dancing

Now that you’ve had a chance to go through the slow dancing, it’s time toreinforce a few traits and give you a few

pointers on how to make you and your partnerlook good. Take a look at the following tips and try to work them into your dance.

�Slow dancing with someone does notautomatically give you the right to hangall over that person or press your bodydirectly up against him or her. Respectyour partner and use the connectionpoints to your advantage. However, ifthe situation allows for extremely closeconnections, then don’t be afraid to usethem.

�Dancing together at the same speed ismore important than dancing to thespeed of the song. Followers, take note.If the leader is dancing slower or fasterthan the song, try to follow along withhis speed rather than the speed of thesong. Everyone will notice if the two ofyou are dancing to two different beats,but you might be the only one whonotices you are offbeat if you are danc-ing in unison.

�Avoid the temptation to sing along toevery word of the song playing. Theremight be times when you’ll want toemphasize a phrase or two just for fun,but let the singing stay in the voices ofthe recorded artists.

�For the sake of your partner and every-one watching, don’t let your hands slidedown onto your partner’s rear end. Astempting as this might be, most peopleare uncomfortable with this position,and almost everyone who’s watchingwill find it extremely tacky. Most impor-tantly, whatever you do, don’t attemptthis “connection point” with a stranger.

�As a leader, be careful with dipping yourpartner. If you’ve never practiced a dipor if you don’t know how to do one, try-ing it out during your dance is not rec-ommended. If you’re going to dip yourpartner, do it gently and with control.It’s not uncommon for both partners toend up on the floor on a poorly executeddip. Know your limitations.

�Enjoy your dance. Above all else, try toenjoy the moment while you’re doingthe slow dance. Take in the surroundings,the music, the atmosphere, the feelings,and so on. Let your body relax and go oncruise control, especially if you’re com-fortable with the leading and followingdrills from earlier in the chapter. Don’toverdo it, and your partner will want todo it again, and again, and again….


7. Left turns start on count one with the leaderstepping back with his left.

8. Right turns start on count three with theleader doing a half basic with his left, andthen stepping off to the right.

Next StepsWhen you’re comfortable with the slow dance thatyou’ve gone through, you might want to take it abit further. There are many more facets of thedance that you can easily add into your repertoire.Underarm turns (arches), momentum turns, dips,and leans can all easily be added into your danceonce you’re comfortable with the basics. Take itone step at a time and have fun while you learn.The slow dance is one of the most versatile andromantic dances if done correctly.

Congratulations! You’ve made it through your firstdance. You’re now ready to heat up the dance floorwith a smooth and romantic slow dance. To revieweverything you’ve gone through, we’ve made aquick little checklist for you. See whether you cango right down it and put yourself in each positionand move without much thought. Start with num-ber 1 and go straight through.

Review1. Ladies are always right! Ladies, put your

weight on your left foot so you can be readyto start with your right. (This is what’s calledyour ready position.)

2. Guys always get what’s left. Guys, put yourweight on your right foot so you can beready to start with your left. (This is what’scalled your ready position.)

3. All four connection points are used in thebasics of the slow dance.

4. The slow-dance basic consists of four counts(step, touch, step, touch).

5. The basics can be done in almost any direc-tion (front, back, left, right, front-left, back-right, back-left, and front-right).

6. Always go back to the basics when you’re notsure of what else to do. The basics should beyour default movement during the slowdance, whether the music is slow or fast andregardless of how close in distance you are toyour partner.

Review and Next Steps for Your Slow Dance

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