Presented by :-

Sasi Vignesh

Relationships The way in which two or more people or groups regard

and behave towards each other.

Relationships are about emotions and feelings and

requires a lot of emotional work.

Successful relationships are based upon effective

communication of our emotions. This is subject to our

emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence The ability to recognize and regulate one’s mood, to

control impulses, to motivate oneself, to empathize and to

hope.

Helps strike a balance between intimacy and distance

between people we interact with depending upon the

relational context we find ourselves in.

We all Start out as Strangers

Uncertainty Reduction Theory:-

Strategies to reduce uncertainty

1.Passive Strategies:-Observe

2.Interactive Strategies:-Probe

3.Active Strategies:-Third party intervention

We all Start out as Strangers

Another factor that affects relationship development:-

Predicted outcome value of a potential relationship.

Our initial judgement is based on physical appearance,

observed behaviors, third party information.

Kinds of Relationships

Acquaintanceships

Relationships with persons whom we know by name and

with whom we may converse if given a chance.

Kinds of Relationships

Friendships

A relationship where you dare to be yourself.

You’ll seek each other out, like being with each other,

exhibit a strong mutual regard.

Kinds of RelationshipsRawlin’s six stages of friendships

1.Role Limited attraction:-Initial contact on some level on some pretext.

2.Friendly Relations:-Exploring whether we have enough in common to continue.

3.Moving towards Friendship:-Making small personal disclosures demonstrating the desire to expand relationship.

4.Nascent Friendship:-Begin considering each other friends. Share activities. Regular interaction

5.Stabilized Friendship:- Securing the relationship.- “TRUST”

6.Waning Friendship:-Friends begin to drift apart.-”Take things for granted, lack of personal effort”

Kinds of RelationshipsROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

Three unique components:-

1.Passion:-intense positive feelings of attraction.

2.Intimacy:-sustained feelings of closeness and connection.

3.Commitment:-intention to stay through even in trouble.

Kinds of RelationshipsLaws of Attraction

1.Attractiveness:-Physical appearance and pleasant personalities.

2.Proximity/Propinquity:- Geographical, cultural, interests.

3.Reinforcement:- We like people who positively reinforce us or we perceive are the cause for that reinforcement.

4.Complementarity:-Opposites attract.(opposites are the qualities we don’t have but we subconsciously desire)

Kinds of Relationships

7 STAGES OF LOVE

1.Dilkashi (attraction)

2.Uns (infatuation)

3.Mohabbat (love/affiliation)

4.Akidat (trust)

5.Ibadat (worship)

6.Junoon (madness)

7.Fanaah ( self annihilation/destruction)

Kinds of Relationships

Dysfunctional Relationship

1.Blame-game :- excuse to vent anger.

2.Violence:-verbal, physical, sexual

3.Apologization for the toxic communication

4.Lull in emotional abuse

5.Resurfacing of the cycle.

Kinds of RelationshipsStages in a Break-up

1.Denial

2. Anger

3.Bargaining

4.Depression

5.Acceptance

Kinds of Relationships

Work Relationships:-person-to-person-on-the-job-

relations. Trust, conformations, participations, tolerance.

Family Relationships:- Family of Origin,

Family of Creation.

Emotions in Relationships

Emotional State :- Caroll E. Izard :- A particular

emotional process of limited duration.

Emotion Traits:- The tendency to experience specific

emotions when interacting with others.

Feelings:- our reactions to what we perceive. They define

the meaning of our relationships.

Emotions in a Relationship

Anger Effects:-Psychological prevention of fulfillment of a goal can cause anger.

Anger leads to psychosomatic diseases and maybe a major change in personality

Emotional Contagion:- the catching of the other person’s mood.

We unconsciously mirror and imitate the moods of people we interact with.

Suppression and Disclosure of Feelings The way we handle feelings impedes our relationships

with others.

We may bury our real feelings, hesitate to express them or

unleash them uncontrollably

Censoring Your Feelings Feelings and Emotions are frequently perceived as

dangerous, harmful and shameful.

So we express only Socially Approved feelings.

Emotional Isolationists are the persons who try to protect

themselves from any exchange of feelings by minding

their own business.

Determinants of Display Rules Gender

Culture

Personal Values

Characteristic Style of Emotional Expressions

Withholders- Never show how they feel.

Revealers- Try to show how they feel.

Unwitting Expressors- Reveal their feelings without being

aware that they have done so.

Blanked Expressors- Communicate their feelings to others

but, in fact, not.

Substitute Expressors- Substitute the expression of one

emotion for another emotion.

Effects of Suppressed and Disclosed Feelings on Relationships Suppressing feelings may become increasingly difficult to

solve interpersonal problems.

Repression of emotions can lead to serious conflicts and

blow-ups.

Revealing your feelings, you make it less threatening for

the person to reveal his or her feelings.

Conflicts and Relationships A Conflict-Free relationship is a sign that you really have

no relationship at all.

Avoiding conflicts, trying to settle them pre-maturely or

prohibiting the discussion of differences can lead to

serious problems.

There is evidently a link between the emotional lives of

your parents and your own emotional health.

Categorizing Conflicts Self Conflict: Conflicts that occurs when a person has to

choose between two or more mutually exclusive options

Interpersonal Conflict: Conflict between two or more

people

Low-Intensity Conflict: A conflict in which the persons

involved work to discover a solution beneficial to all

parties

Medium-Intensity Conflict: Each person feels committed

to win

Categorizing Conflicts (Contd.,) High-Intensity Conflict: One person intends to destroy or

seriously hurt the other.

Pseudo Conflict: When person mistakenly believe that two

or more goals cannot be achieved simultaneously.

Content Conflict: Disagreement over matters of fact.

Value Conflict: Disagreement that arises when persons

hold different views on an issue.

Ego Conflict: Disagreement in which persons believe that

winning or losing is tied to their self-worth, prestige or

competence

Resolving Conflict: Styles of Expression

Nonassertiveness- The hesitation to display one’s feelings

and thoughts.

Aggressiveness- Expressing of one’s own thoughts and

feelings at another’s expense.

Assertiveness- Expressing one’s thoughts and feelings

while displaying respect for the thoughts and feelings of

others.

Technology, Relationships and ,the Communication of Emotions The Computer has freed us to express feelings and

emotions we would be hesitant to express publicly.

However the use of the internet is isolating, severely

limits face-to-face interactions.

Handling Feelings Effectively In Relationships

Work on Feelings you have difficulty expressing or

handling

Stand up for your Emotional Rights

Check your Perceptions

Show respect for feelings

Use a script to handle feelings Assertively

Practice Four Basic Assertive Behaviours

Stop automatically asking permission to speak, think, or

behave.

Establish Eye Contact with people with whom you

interact face-to-face.

Eliminate hesitations and fillers.

Say “no” calmly , firmly and quietly; say “yes” sincerely

and honestly; say “I want” without fear or guilt.