pennsylvania state police - cacpfo.org · verbal judo in japanese, ju means “gentle” and do...
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Tactical Communication
Pennsylvania State Police
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Tonight’s Presentation
Draws from Verbal Judo, The Gentle Art of
Persuasion by Dr. George Thompson and
Jerry Jenkins
Draws upon Tactical Communications as
taught by the Pennsylvania State Police
Academy
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VERBAL JUDO
In Japanese, ju means “gentle” and do
means “way”, thus judo means “the gentle
way”.
Verbal judo is an art…
– These techniques will allow you to:
• Speak with people, even difficult people, without
causing or escalating conflict.
• Remain calm while others attempt to incite you.
• Take criticism with dignity and style!
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VERBAL JUDO
Goals
– Enhance personal safety
– Enhance professionalism
– Increase proficiency by improving
performance
– Exercise Power and Influence
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VERBAL JUDO
Sun-tzu, a confucian philosopher once said, “To win
one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not
the highest skill. To subdue the enemy without
fighting is the highest skill”.
The secret: It’s ok if someone insults, resists or
attacks you verbally. Laugh it off to show that it has
no meaning, no sting. If you fight back and resist the
affront, you give it life and credibility. If you defend
yourself you invite a counter attack.
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When we talk….
The other guy waits to interrupt.
How fast do we think ?
How fast do we speak ?
So what we say better count.
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People Under Pressure….
Rarely say what they mean
Words are clouded by emotions:
fear, anger, embarrassment, etc.
We need to strip away those
words
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So what do we do?
Activate our tactical language.
Achieve a state of “mushin”
Warrior before battle does what?
Are we not warriors ?
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The Heart of the Message
Strip away the “junk”
And hear the real message
This message is usually simple enough
The key is to hear it.
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When we talk….
Our authority comes from…
The rules, the regs
The Association.
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VERBAL JUDO
There are three types of people in
the world
– Nice people
– Difficult people
– Wimps
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Nice people
Nice people do exactly what they are told.
– They respect authority
– They don’t complain
– They don’t argue
However, if you do not treat them well, they
will feel rotten about it. You will then loose
credibility and more importantly, their support!
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Difficult people
Difficult people by their very nature will not do what you tell them the first time you ask.Their nature causes them to say “why? what for?”
Difficult people are as eager to argue a point as nice people are to cooperate.
“Why?” is the most American question there is!
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Difficult people
When these people challenge your authority it is usually pointless to explain why you asked them to do something.
If you want voluntary compliance from a difficult person, you need to clearly and specifically explain what’s in it for them and what they have to gain! Only when this doesn’t work should you explain to them what they have to lose.
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Difficult people
Two principles for dealing with
difficult people:
– Let them say what they want as long as
they continue to do what you say!
– Always go for the win/win solution.
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Wimps
Wimps will smile to your face and then stab you in the back.
They act friendly and then complain about you to anyone who will listen. These are the people who will file a lawsuit against you if you give them the opportunity.
Wimps do not like authority and hate being told what to do. They like revenge!
If you confront the wimps honestly, they will immediately weaken and be exposed.
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Officials
There are two kinds of officials:
– Peacemakers
• Can end a brawl with a few choice words
– Troublemakers
• Can cause things to go from calm to chaotic
by simply showing up at a scene.
• Are masters at deploying the most common
type of abuse….VERBAL ABUSE!
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Achieve mushin
Assume all is recorded…..because it probably
is.
Your feelings are irrelevant during the game.
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When confronted
Engage Tactical Language
Natural Language is confrontational
Harmonize the message with your tone of
voice, facial expressions, demeanor, and
other non verbal behaviors.
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REMEMBER
“ If it feels good…….
….it’s no good”
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Empathy
The most powerful word in the English language!
Empathy has Latin and Greek roots. Em, from the Latin, “to see through.” and pathy, from the Greek, means “the eye of the other.” So to empathize means to understand, to see through the eyes of another.
If you can’t empathize with people, you will not be able to get them to listen to you!
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Why Empathy ?
It allows people to realize you understand or
appreciate what they are saying.
Ever speak to someone who is emotionless
and says nothing back to you ???
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Showing Empathy
Minimal Encouragers:
“Uh huh, yes, mmmmhh, right”, etc.
Ask clarifying questions: “Let me mke sure I
have this right” (Shows you care enough to
understand the concern)
Why do all this ? It gives you the right to
speak and suggest.
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Strip Phrases
Strip phrases allow you the opportunity to
deflect and not immediately address things
and at the same time remain calm.
They allow you to remain in control because
you are being tactical and responding---not
reacting---to the problem.
Use them to maintain “mushin”
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Strip Phrases
‘ppreciate that
understan’ that
Heard that
Got that
Roger that
What phrases can you come up with?
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5 STEPS OF VERBALIZATION…
1. ASK (ethical appeal)
2. SET CONTEXT (reasonable appeal)
3. PRESENT OPTIONS (personal appeal)
4. CONFIRM (practical appeal)
“Coach, is there anything I can say to earn your
cooperation at this time?”
5. ACT!
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IN A CLOSE GAME, I CHECK MY PULSE. I KNOW IF IT GETS OVER ONE HUNDRED IT’S GOING TO AFFECT MY THINKING
-Phil Jackson
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• YOU NEED TO BE AT
YOUR BEST …
• WHEN EVERYONE
ELSE IS AT THEIR
WORST!
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Verbal Judo
Allows us to:
– Treat everyone with…
• Respect
• Dignity
• Pride
• Assertiveness
• Professionalism
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Verbal Judo
When we disrespect people, put them down
in front of others or make them feel bad, we
loose our power and create more enemies.
We loose our professional face. We get
upset, we use language irresponsibly, and we
no longer have a disinterested state of mind.
In other words…We have become part of the
problem!
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Using these skills…..
Allows us to be sure we acted appropriately
They can play that video, and you are on
ethical ground
It also allows us to gain compliance. And that
is the ultimate win in tactical communication.