I told you not to drink out of the toilet.

Pedro: What two things can you never eat for breakfast?Pee Wee: I haven’t the foggiest.Pedro: Lunch and dinner.Chase Y., Moreno Valley, California

I try to keep busy all year. In the summer I make cookies, and in

the fall and winter I make toys in Santa’s workshop.

Laugh at 4,000+ more jokes at jokes.boyslife.org

PEDRO’S PICK

A MAN IS WASHING HIS CAR with his son. The son asks, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

Andrew S., South Ogden, Utah

WARPED WISEMAN WONDERS: “Why is it called a ‘building’ if it’s already built?”Jack D., Carlsbad, California

Erik: How do snakes get into Hogwarts?Leroy: How?Erik: They just Slytherin. Logan W., Fairfield, California

SARA: What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?TRAVIS: What kind? SARA: Lawsuits.Sara R., Irving, Texas

SAL: Did you hear about the musician who got arrested? JIM: No. What happened?SAL: He got into some serious treble.Peter R., Chapel Hill, North Carolina

TEACHER: If you have three apples and four oranges in your left hand, and three oranges and four apples in your right hand, what do you have?STUDENT: Very big hands.Vallabh T., San Ramon, California

MARK: How many roaches does it take to screw in a light bulb?JOHN: How many?MARK: You can’t tell. As soon as the light comes on, they all scatter.John D., Johnstown, Pennsylvania

Parwaan: What is a computer’s favorite snack?Pedro: I don’t know. What?Parwaan: Cookies.Parwaan V., San Ramon, California

MUKUND: Did you hear about the phone that went to the dentist?BECKHAM: No. Why did it go?MUKUND: It had a Bluetooth.Mukund S., Novato, California

JOHNNY: What does the bike instructor always say about helmet safety?LUKE: I have no idea.JOHNNY: “It’s wheelie important.”Som K., Franklin Square, New York

I AM SO GOOD at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.Tyler S., Camden, North Carolina

BILL: What did one knife say to the other?CAROL: I don’t know.BILL: “Looking sharp.”Ben G., Davis, California

TOM SWIFTIE: “That campfire is blazing!” Tom said warmly.Luke T., Birmingham, Alabama

A PUNNY BOOK: Pizza Toppings by Ann Chovies. Jack G., Batavia, Ohio

JACK: What do you call a talking dinosaur?JAKE: What?JACK: A thesaurus.Jack D., Carlsbad, California

TOM SWIFTIE: “I’m so tired of boat rides,” Tom said sternly.Thomas F., Union City, California

Think&  Grin

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