pastoral care protocols for the ministry of...
TRANSCRIPT
Pastoral Care Protocols for the Ministry of Deacons
The Book of Order (G-6.0401 and G-6.0402) says of the office of Deacon,
The office of deacon as set forth in Scripture is one of sympathy, witness, and service after the
example of Jesus Christ. Persons of spiritual character, honest repute, of exemplary lives,
brotherly and sisterly love, warm sympathies, and sound judgment should be chosen for this
office.
a. It is the duty of deacons, first of all, to minister to those who are in need, to the sick, to the
friendless, and to any who may be in distress both within and beyond the community of faith.
They shall assume such other duties as may be delegated to them from time to time by the
session, such as leading the people in worship through prayers of intercession, reading the
Scriptures, presenting the gifts of the people, and assisting with the Lord’s Supper.
Historically, the Church has organized to accomplish its mission through certain offices. In the
Presbyterian Church, these office include Teaching and Ruling Elders and Deacons. This
resource has been prepared in order to assist the Deacons in effectively ministering to those
assigned to their care,
Effectively Developing Parish Relationships All Year Long
January
This is typically the month when newly ordained and installed Deacons begin their ministry. It
is important in this first month to introduce yourself to your newly-assigned parish. For those
who have previously served, it is a good time to remind the members of the parish to which you
are assigned that you are their appointed deacon. To make the work more manageable, each
of you may divide your list for phone calls and cards, but any communication should be from
both of you.
That means that only will write a note in a card and send the card, even though both of you sign
the card. Only one of you will make a telephone call on an anniversary or birthday, though you
call on behalf of both.
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Send a letter of introduction to each member family of your parish introducing yourself
and your partner deacon. This letter should include a digital picture of each of you, an
introduction, a short biography, your contact information and a listing of ways in which
you may be of service to this family. (Sample included in the Appendix)
� Sign and address all birthday cards for the month of January. You will have been
provided a list for your parish containing the names, addresses and birthday and
anniversary dates for each family in your parish. MAKE SURE THAT YOU CHECK YOUR
LIST AND YOUR CARDS AGAINST RECENT DEATH NOTICES IN THE BULLETIN, WEEKLY
EMAIL NEWSLETTER, PRAYER CHAIN AND MONTHLY NEWSLETTER TO KEEP YOUR LIST
UP TO DATE. THIS WILL HELP YOU AVOID SENDING A BIRTHDAY CARD TO A DECEASED
PERSON OR AN ANNIVERSARY CARD TO THE WIDOW OR WIDOWER OF A DECEASED
PARISHIONER. It is appropriate, especially if you know or have gotten to know the
recipient of a card fairly, to send a short note as well as a birthday or anniversary
greeting.
� Telephone those who are celebrating a birthday or anniversary on their special day.
Usually early evening (6:30 PM to 8:30 PM) is a good time to call. Your purpose in
calling should be to briefly connect, wish them a happy birthday or anniversary and offer
to close with prayer. A suggested script and several sample prayers for birthdays and
anniversaries may be found in the boxed areas below.
Hello. I am [NAME], one of your deacons. I understand that today is a special day for
you and I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday/ anniversary. Have you had
a good birthday/ anniversary? Good. I am so glad. [NAME OF OTHER DEACON] sends
his/her greetings as well. If I may, I would like to pray for you. Is that all right?
� Yes
Use one of the prayers below. When you are finished, ask, “Is there any way
that I can be of help to you or anything for which I may be in prayer for you?”
If yes, make note of the prayer request and mark your calendar for later follow-
up. If no, say, “It has been great talking with you. I hope you have a
blessed/great week. Good-bye!”
� NO
Finish by asking, “Is there any way that I can be of help to you or anything for
which I may be in prayer for you?” If yes, make note of the prayer request and
mark your calendar for later follow-up. If no, say, “It has been great talking
with you. I hope you have a blessed/ great week. Good-bye!”
SAMPLE BIRTHDAY PRAYERS
Gracious God, may this day and all [NAME’S} days be filled with the wonder of Your special love
for him/her. I rejoice with him/her in this celebration of the life that you have given. O God
keep him/her in touch with all that you have created in him/her and all that he/she is meant to
become through Your love. I pray this in Jesus’ name. AMEN.
Dear Father in Heaven, today is [NAME’S] birthday. I pray for his/her happiness, of course, but
also for a greater sense of fulfillment in work, an ease of communication with those he/she
loves, and a sense of satisfaction in all that he/she has accomplished. Above all, may he/she
rest secure in the knowledge of Your constant love and care. In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN.
Lord, let this celebration of [NAME’S] birth be a reminder to him/her of all the gifts and
blessings he/she has received from You this day and all the days of his/her life. On this day of
celebration, I thank you for [NAME’S] life and all of his/her blessings. I ask for another year
filled with Your presence in his/her life that he/she may continue to grow in your love. In Jesus’
name. AMEN.
St. Theresa's Prayer
Dear God, may [NAME] have peace within today. May he/she trust You that he/she is exactly
where he/she is meant to be. May he/she not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of
faith. May he/she use those gifts that he/she has received, and pass on the love that has been
given to him/her. May he/she be content knowing he/she is a child of God. Let Your presence
settle into his/her bones, and allow his/her soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It
is there for each and every one. In Jesus’ name. AMEN.
SAMPLE ANNIVERSARY PRAYERS
Dear Lord, help [NAMES] to remember when they first met and the strong love that grew
between them. Enable them to work that love into practical things so nothing can divide them.
Give them words both kind and loving, and hearts always ready to ask forgiveness as well as the
grace to forgive each other. Dear Lord, we celebrate their special day and ask your blessing on
them this day. In Jesus’ name we pray. AMEN.
God of power and might, You have kept [NAMES] together for [years of marriage]. Thank you
for the joy of celebrating their life together today and for the many ways their marriage has
touched their family and those around them. Indeed, You have blessed us all with [NAMES].
Please strengthen them, guide them, and sustain them for many more years with each other
and with us, that we all may live in the light of Your love. We pray this in Jesus’ name. AMEN
Gracious God, bless [NAMES] and grant them joy in their life together. God bless them and help
them to remember the purpose for which He brought them together, the joy of years past and
the hope of years to come. Deepen their love for each other. Bless them in their family and
friends, and lead them to unending happiness in Heaven. Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy
Spirit, bless us all, and keep us in Your love forever and ever, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
� Make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on Sunday
morning. Make it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s
deacon. If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as
appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
February
February is usually a slow month unless Ash Wednesday happens to fall during the month of
February and the season of Lent starts early. Now that you have made contact by letter with
the members of your parish, it would be good to do a follow-up phone call to make personal
contact with them. Again, dividing the list between you and your partner deacon will make the
work easier.
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Call the members of your Parish Unit by phone to make personal contact with them.
This is a natural and logical next step in developing a caring and intentional relationship
with the members of your parish. If no one is home, leave a message on the answering
machine with your phone number. A sample script is provided below.
� Send inexpensive Valentine’s Day Cards to members of your parish unit.
� Send February birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.
� Make February birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make an effort to attend the “other” worship service from the one you normally
attend at least two Sundays out of this month. If you attend the 8:30 AM worship
service, make an effort to attend the 11:00 AM worship service and vice versa. Look for
and make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on at this
service of worship. These are people you do not normally see on a weekly basis. Make
it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s or couple’s deacon.
If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
March
Hi, this is [YOUR NAME]. I am one of your deacons. I am just calling for a quick follow-
up. Do you have time to talk for two or three minutes? I just wanted to make sure you
got our letter of introduction last month? Did you? Good! Do you have any questions?
Is there any that way we can be of assistance to you and your family or any prayer
concerns you might have?
All right! I just wanted to touch base and speak with you personally. I look forward to
getting to know you and I look forward to seeing you in church. Thank you for your
time. You will be hearing from me again soon. Good-bye!
March would be a good month to make a personal visit to the homes of the members of your
parish group. You have already made contact by mail. You have followed up that mail contact
with a telephone call to introduce yourself. Now, a brief face-to-face visit is in order. Again, by
dividing your list, you divide the work and enable the possibility of making contact with
everyone in your parish in half the time that would be needed for both of you to have face-to-
face contact with everyone.
It is easiest to make a visit if you have something in hand, giving you a reason to call. Very few
people will turn down the gift of a home-made baked good, so dropping off a coffee cake
serves as an easy means of introduction and allows a personal contact with limited threat to
you or the person or family on whom you are calling.
Perhaps you have a specialty that you would like to share with the members of your parish. If
not, there are easy ways of preparing something to drop off at the home of one of the
members of your parish unit. It may be more fun and easier if the Deacons as a whole engaged
in a night of cookie baking, making enough for everyone’s parishioners to share a dozen cookies
each. Here are some other ideas:
• Pillsbury Ready-to-Bake Cookies
• Brownies from a mix
• Nut bread
• Banana bread
• Date/ nut bread
• Other baked goods of your choice
• BISQUICK COFFEE CAKE
You’ll be amazed at how simple this recipe is and how fast you can whip one up.
First, preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Get your round, 9 x 1 ½ inch pan ready by greasing it. Next,
make your Streusel topping and set it aside:
• 1/3 cup Bisquick
• 1/3 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon (I like to add a bit more since I love cinnamon!)
• 2 tablespoons of margarine or butter
Mix the first three ingredients together. Then cut in the margarine with a fork or pastry blender until the
mixture is crumbly.
For the batter you’ll need:
• 2 cups of Bisquick
• 2 tablespoons of sugar
• 2/3 cup of milk
• 1 egg
Mix all the batter ingredients together and spread in your prepared pan. Now sprinkle that with the
Streusel topping. If you’d like, you can take a butter knife and zig-zag it through the topping for a
marbled effect.
Pop it in the oven and bake it for 18 to 22 minutes. It should look golden brown on top when it’s done.
Let it cool for just a few minutes so it will come out of the pan nicely, but to experience this coffee cake
at its best, it should really be served warm.
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Make and freeze ahead cookies, coffee cake or quick bread to take as a gift for members
of your parish unit. Visits may be made over the course of the month of March and do
not need to be made on the same day. If you make two to three visits per week, you
will cover half of your parish in one month. The important thing is to make personal
contact with each family in your Parish Unit, making sure that they know you by face
and name. Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon are usually good times to make a
brief drive-by, drop-off visit. Call before you visit and make sure someone from the
family is home. Tell them, “I just want to drop off a gift for you and your family.”
Label what you drop off with a card or sticker that says, “A gift from your Deacon,
[YOUR NAME].” Also make sure that cookies are thawed and baked goods thawed and
warmed before you drop them off.
� Send March birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.
� Make March birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on Sunday
morning. Make it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s
deacon. If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as
appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
� Phone calls to encourage participation and involvement during Holy Week and Easter
Services are appropriate. (If Easter falls in March)
April
By now you should be known and recognized by the members of your Parish Unit. The family
should also be known to you. You should be aware of any special needs that they might have.
You have accelerated the contact with the family from mail contact to phone contact to
personal face-to-face contact. Now is the time to be a bit less assertive.
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Send April birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.
� Make April birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make an effort to attend the “other” worship service from the one you normally
attend at least two Sundays out of this month. If you attend the 8:30 AM worship
service, make an effort to attend the 11:00 AM worship service and vice versa. Look for
and make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on at this
service of worship. These are people you do not normally see on a weekly basis. Make
it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s or couple’s deacon.
If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
� Phone calls to encourage participation and involvement during Holy Week and Easter
Services are appropriate. (If Easter falls in April)
May
Now that you have made personal contact with the members of your Parish Unit, you can begin
to help them get to know and develop friendships and relationships among themselves. Your
roles is that of facilitator, intentionally creating situations where members of your parish can be
together and get to know one another. The usual protocol for the month should be ongoing,
however, if you can add one event during the month, co-sponsored with your deacon partner,
you can help build and strengthen the relational networks in your parish unit and in First
Presbyterian Church.
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Send May birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.
� Make May birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on Sunday
morning. Make it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s
deacon. If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as
appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
� With your Deacon partner, plan an event to which several of your Parish Unit families
may be Invited with the intention of helping them get to know you and one another.
Several suggestions or ideas are:
• Create your own One-Dish-Date for Eight for several couples or families in your Parish
Unit [call Sylvia Jones (804) 776-8387 or LuAnn Nagel (804) 693-0981 for assistance]
• Have a Memorial Day Picnic and invite several of your Parish Unit families to participate.
• Create a Progressive Dinner within your Parish Unit and invite as many as are willing to
participate.
• Invite several couples or families for dinner or dessert.
• Have a Parish Unit Potluck
• Pick one or several of the couples in your Parish Unit and invite them to:
o The movies
o Get ice cream
o A small-group Bible Study
o A picnic at your home
o Lunch or brunch after church
o A wine and cheese party at your home
o A movie night at your home
o Play cards with you
o Make homemade ice cream with you
o Go to a baseball game with you
June
Summer is about to arrive, graduation is about to occur, school is about to let out and families
will be traveling and going on vacation. Such times are difficult to find people at home and it is
not easy to make or maintain contact. This is a time when you can slow down a bit.
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Send high school and college graduation cards where appropriate.
� Send June birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.
� Make June birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make an effort to attend the “other” worship service from the one you normally
attend at least two Sundays out of this month. If you attend the 8:30 AM worship
service, make an effort to attend the 11:00 AM worship service and vice versa. Look for
and make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on at this
service of worship. These are people you do not normally see on a weekly basis. Make
it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s or couple’s deacon.
If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
� With your Deacon partner or by yourself, plan an event to which several of your Parish
Unit families may be invited with the intention of helping them get to know you and one
another. This should be with a different couple or group than in May.
July
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Send July birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.
� Make July birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� If you have a flower or vegetable garden, consider sharing the excess with members of
your Parish Unit.
� Make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on Sunday
morning. Make it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s
deacon. If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as
appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
� With your Deacon partner or by yourself, plan an event to which several of your Parish
Unit families may be invited with the intention of helping them get to know you and one
another. This should be with a different couple or group than in May or June.
� Send out a postcard to members of your Parish Unit to let them know that you are
praying for them and that if they have a need, they should call you. (See example)
You are in myYou are in myYou are in myYou are in my prayers . . .prayers . . .prayers . . .prayers . . .
(Front)
(Reverse)
August
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Send August birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.
� Make August birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make an effort to attend the “other” worship service from the one you normally
attend at least two Sundays out of this month. If you attend the 8:30 AM worship
service, make an effort to attend the 11:00 AM worship service and vice versa. Look for
and make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on at this
service of worship. These are people you do not normally see on a weekly basis. Make
it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s or couple’s deacon.
If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as appropriate.
Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your family. I hope you are having a restful and relaxing summer and are enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. See you at church! Mary Christmas, Deacon 804804804804----555555555555----1234 (Home)1234 (Home)1234 (Home)1234 (Home) 804804804804----555555555555----4321 (Cell)4321 (Cell)4321 (Cell)4321 (Cell)
Mr. and Mrs. Cole
Furniss
867 Pirates Cove
Arrrrgh, Virginia 23077
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� If you have a flower or vegetable garden, consider sharing the excess with members of
your Parish Unit.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
� With your Deacon partner or by yourself, plan an event to which several of your Parish
Unit families may be invited with the intention of helping them get to know you and one
another. This should be with a different couple or group than in May, June, July or
August.
September
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Send September birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make September birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� If you have a flower or vegetable garden, consider sharing the excess with members of
your Parish Unit.
� Make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on Sunday
morning. Make it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s
deacon. If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as
appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
October
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Send October birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.
� Make October birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make an effort to attend the “other” worship service from the one you normally
attend at least two Sundays out of this month. If you attend the 8:30 AM worship
service, make an effort to attend the 11:00 AM worship service and vice versa. Look for
and make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on at this
service of worship. These are people you do not normally see on a weekly basis. Make
it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s or couple’s deacon.
If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
� Invite the members of your Parish Unit, either by phone or written invitation, to attend
the Harvest Festival with you.
November
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Send November birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make November birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on Sunday
morning. Make it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s
deacon. If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as
appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
December
� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or
prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to
minister to these members of His family.
� Include the members of your Parish Unit in any Christmas cards you send out. Cards
may be delivered through the US Postal Service, hand delivered or delivered through the
First Church Christmas Card Project.
� Send December birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make December birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for
guidance.
� Make an effort to attend the “other” worship service from the one you normally
attend at least two Sundays out of this month. If you attend the 8:30 AM worship
service, make an effort to attend the 11:00 AM worship service and vice versa. Look for
and make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on at this
service of worship. These are people you do not normally see on a weekly basis. Make
it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s or couple’s deacon.
If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as appropriate.
� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for
more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.
� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship
Luncheons.
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of January
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of February
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of March
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of April
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of May
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of June
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of July
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of August
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of September
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of October
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of November
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of December
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of January
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of February
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of March
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of April
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of May
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of June
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of July
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of August
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of September
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of October
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of November
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of December
Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last
name.
NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER
January Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each.
◄ December ~ January 2012 ~ February ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Notes:
More Calendars: February, March, April
February Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each.
◄ January ~ February 2012 ~ March ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
Notes:
March Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each
◄ February ~ March 2012 ~ April ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
More Calendars: April, May, June
April Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each
◄ March ~ April 2012 ~ May ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
Notes:
May Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each
◄ April ~ May 2012 ~ June ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Notes:
June Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each
◄ May ~ June 2012 ~ July ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
July Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each
◄ June ~ July 2012 ~ August ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Notes:
August Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each
◄ July ~ August 2012 ~ September ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Notes:
September Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each
◄ August ~ September 2012 ~ October ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
Notes:
October Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each
◄ September ~ October 2012 ~ November ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Notes:
November Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each
◄ October ~ November 2012 ~ December ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
Notes:
December Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each
◄ November ~ December 2012 ~ January ►
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Notes:
WHEN A MEMBER OF YOUR PARISH UNIT IS HOSPITALIZED
OUTPATIENT SURGERY/TESTS OR BRIEF STAY (overnight)
BEFORE SURGERY/TESTS
� If you find out about their surgery BEFORE it actually occurs,
call your parishioner the day or night before the surgery
(early evening, if the night before, no later than 7:00
PM). Offer to pray with them. A sample phone conversation
is offered for you use below or feel free to ad lib. Sample
prayers are provided for your use in the Appendix of
this manual.
Hi, [NAME]! This is your deacon [YOUR NAME]. Do you have time to talk for just a moment?
(Wait for answer or response) I heard you were having surgery/tests tomorrow and I wanted to
touch base with you before you go in. Is there any way that I can be of help to you or your
family in the next couple of days? (Wait for answer or response) Is there anything you need?
(Pause)
Well, I promised to keep this short. Please know that I will be praying for you as you go through
your procedure. May I pray with you now, over the phone? (Wait for response)
If “YES”
Offer prayer for the person or use one of the “Prayers for Those about to Undergo Surgery” in
the space below.
After praying with them, close with “Thank you for the opportunity to pray with you. Have a
good evening and may God be with you.”
If “NO”
Thanks for the opportunity to speak with you. I hope all goes well for you tomorrow. Have a
good evening and may God be with you.
PRAYERS FOR THOSE ABOUT TO HAVE SURGERY, TESTS OR MEDICAL PROCEDURES
God, be with [NAME] during [insert medical test or procedure]. Calm any fear, soothe any pain,
and hold [NAME]’s hand throughout the procedure. Guide those administering the procedure,
that it may be done quickly, efficiently, and painlessly, to the glory of Your name. Amen.
[The following prayers are adapted from The Book of Common Prayer]
Almighty God our heavenly Father, I ask that you comfort [NAME] in his/her illness/suffering.
Bless the tests and procedures that he/she is about to undergo that they might work for his/her
healing and cure. Fill his/her heart with confidence that, though at times he/she may be
afraid, even so he/she may put his/her trust in you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Strengthen your servant [NAME], O God, to do what he/she has to do and bear
what he/she must bear; that, accepting your healing gifts through the skill of surgeons and
nurses, he/she may be restored to usefulness in your world with a thankful heart; through Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.
Heavenly Father, giver of life and health: Comfort and relieve your sick servant [NAME], and
give your power of healing to those who minister to his/her needs, that he/she may be
strengthened in his/her weakness and have confidence in your loving care; through Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.
AFTER SURGERY/TESTS
� Pray regularly for the patient and the patient’s
family.
� Send a get-well or “thinking of you” card
within one day of finding out about your
parishioner’s hospitalization (either before or
after surgery). Send the card to their home
address since they will likely be out of the
hospital before yourcard would normally
arrive at the hospital.
� Follow up with a phone call to your parishioner’s home after they have returned from
the hospital. A sample telephone conversation is provided. Often the family will be
fielding telephone calls, especially if the patient has had surgery, even though it is
considered outpatient surgery or has only required an overnight stay. It is enough to
express your concern for the patient to a family member and to inquire after
his or her condition. Remember, surgery that once required a two-three day stay in
the hospital is now considered routine and patients are released much sooner. That
does not mean that the severity and stress of the surgery or procedure is any less.
Sample Follow-up Phone Call for Those Recently Hospitalized
� If there is a long convalescence, it is appropriate to make a brief home visit after about a
week. There are two rules of thumb here:
• First, is the Golden Rule. Put yourself in the other person’s place. What would you want
or desire from your deacon? If you have gotten to know this person fairly well, you will
have a sense of how much contact is appropriate. Some will be content with a card and
a phone call as an expression of care and concern. Others will gladly welcome a
personal visit. Prayerfully use your best judgment.
• Second, is the “Err On the Side of Doing Too Much” Rule. People will rarely remember
what you say. However, they will remember what you do. They will remember that you
sent a card, made a phone call or dropped by to visit. One of the largest Presbyterian
churches in our Presbytery has a simple rule for pastoral care when rendered by
Deacons, Stephen Ministers or members of the congregation. The rule is this:
“SHOW UP AND SHUT UP”
That may sound a bit harsh! However, the point is this . . . your presence indicates your
concern and caring better than any other method of pastoral care. In addition, you may
be plagued with the question, “What will I say?” That is where the second part comes
in. Go without a pre-arranged script and LISTEN!!!
If you go with the sole purpose of representing Christ, communicating the care and
concern of a Christian friend and an intent to listen to the concerns of the person you
visit, you will have a positive and productive encounter with the person you are
contacting. REMEMBER: They likely won’t remember what you say. They will always
Hi, [NAME], this your Deacon [YOUR NAME]. How are you this evening? [PAUSE] I
don’t want to keep you for more than a moment as I know you have recently gotten
home from the hospital. I am just checking in to see how you are coming along. Is
there anything you or your family need that I can help with? Well, I hope you are
feeling better and that your recovery time will be short. If I can be of assistance,
please give me a call. In the meantime, you will be in my prayers.
Have a good evening and may God’s love and peace surround you.
remember that you came to visit!
ONGOING TREATMENT/CHEMOTHERAPY/DIALYSIS/RADIATION TREATMENT AND EXTENDED
CONVALESCENCE/ HOSPICE CARE
As part of the Pastoral Care Team at First
Presbyterian Church of Gloucester, Virginia, the
individual deacon plays a very important role. Often,
members of your parish unit will be faced with chronic
illness that requires frequent trips to the doctor or
ongoing treatment such as radiation therapy,
chemotherapy or dialysis. Such treatments require
logistical complications for the patient and family
members. Schedules must be juggled, transportation
needs to be arranged and caregivers can be
overwhelmed, especially in the early phases of
treatment.
THE DEACON’S TASK IS NOT TO SUPPLY ALL LOGISTIC AND PASTORAL CARE NEEDS FOR
THE PERSON IN YOUR PARISH UNIT OR THEIR FAMILY. That being said, the Deacon has a very
important role in facilitating a response to those needs that can be met by:
• The Pastor and staff
• The Stephen Ministers
• The Board of Deacons
• The membership of the congregation
Such needs might include, but not be limited to:
• Transportation to and from the doctor
• Transportation to and from therapy sessions
• Transportation to and from church
• Occasional meals
• Lawn care
• Respite care for the caregiver (sitting with the patient so the caregiver can go
shopping)
To that end, the following is appropriate.
� Pray regularly for the patient and the family of the patient.
� Contact the parishioner or the parishioner’s family by visit and ask if you may briefly visit
to speak with the family about ways the Board of Deacons and the members of the
congregation may be of assistance.
� Take the brochure, “How May We Help?” [see Appendix] with you when you visit. Go
through the brochure with the parishioner or a member of the parishioner’s family to
assess their needs for assistance and the ways in which the Board of Deacons, pastor,
Stephen Ministers and members of the congregation may be of assistance.
� While present in the home, make a visit to encourage and offer comfort to the patient.
� With the completed Needs Assessment in hand, contact the Chair of the Board of
Deacons to begin the process of meeting the needs of the member or member family,
either through the Board of Deacons, the request for a Stephen Minister or through
the membership of the congregation.
� Follow-up regularly to make sure the patient and family are receiving the care they
need.
DEATH OF A PARISHIONER OR PARISHIONER’S FAMILY MEMBER
The role of the deacon is critical at the time of
death. You will probably receive word after-the-fact.
You will likely receive information of a person’s passing
either through email via the Prayer Chain, a specific
email to you from the Church Office informing you of
your parishioner’s death or a phone call from the
Administrative Assistant. Please also pay attention to
pulpit announcements, information conveyed through
the weekly email newsletter, the obituary in the
Gazette-Journal and other means.
When a parishioner dies, the following protocol should apply:
� Pray for the family of the deceased.
� Immediately prepare something to take to the family. It doesn’t have to be homemade,
but should be something that will be helpful to the family in entertaining out-of-town
guests and family members. Usually, simple “munchies” are easiest and most
appreciated. The following are appropriate:
o A simple casserole
o Cupcakes
o Cookies
o Nutbread or poundcake
o Chex Mix
o Cheese Tray
Keep your visit short. DO NOT GO IN THE HOUSE UNLESS INVITED. IF INVITED,
DECLINE. Just communicate the following message: “I am your Deacon and I am so
sorry for your loss. I brought something for you and your family. Please know that you
are in my prayers. If I can be of further assistance, please call me.” [LEAVE YOUR
DEACON CARD]
� Send a sympathy card to the family.
� Plan to attend the visitation at the funeral home if there is one. Make sure you make
contact with the family again, identifying yourself as the deacon of the deceased.
Express condolences to members of the family. Leave a copy of your calling card and let
the family know that if they need anything to please call you.
� Attend the funeral or the memorial service for your parishioner. Again, make sure that
you connect with the widow/widower or family members at the reception following the
service.
� MAKE SURE THAT YOU IMMEDIATELY EDIT YOUR BIRTHDAY AND ANNIVERSARY
CALENDARS AND LISTS. REMOVE THE NAME OF THE DECEASED FROM BOTH LISTS. IF
YOU HAVE ALREADY SIGNED AND ADDRESSED A BIRTHDAY OR ANNIVERSARY CARD,
MAKE SURE THAT YOU PULL IT FROM THE “TO BE SENT” STACK AND DESTROY IT!!
It would be embarrassing to you and potentially catastrophic from an emotional
perspective if a widow or widower received a birthday card addressed to a deceased
spouse or if a widow or widower received an anniversary card when a spouse has
passed away.
“Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds;”---Proverbs 27:23
Follow-up Care—Week One
� Pray for the survivor and the deceased’s family.
� Drop by the home of the survivor about a week after the funeral. Let them know that
you are just checking in with them to see how they are doing now that family has gone
home and all of the activity related to the death/funeral/memorial service is over. Let
them know that you will be checking with them over the next few weeks just to see how
they are doing.
Follow-up Care—Week Two
� Pray for the survivor and the deceased’s family.
� Make a telephone call to the survivor about two weeks after the funeral/ memorial
service. Ask if there is any way that you may be of help or service to the survivor.
� If you have not seen them in worship since the funeral, express concern at their
absence. Offer them a ride, if needed and offer to sit with them in church, if they would
like.
Follow-up Care—Week Three
� Pray for the survivor and the deceased’s family.
� Send a “Thinking of You” card and write a short note to the survivor.
DEACON MONTHLY REPORT FORM Month of __________________ , 2011
Number of Birthday Cards Sent _________________
Number of Anniversary Cards Sent _________________
Face-to-Face Contacts with:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Phone Calls Made:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Home Visits Made:
NAME DATE REASON
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Other activities:
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Hi! This is just a quick note to introduce
ourselves. We are your new deacons.
My name is Mary Christmas (mine is the
top picture!) and I have just been recently
ordained and installed as a deacon. I have
been assigned the parish of which you are
a member. I look forward to getting to
know you and serving you in any way that
I can.
I am a retired elementary school teacher.
My husband Jim is a lawyer. We have
three children; Sarah, William and Jesse
and have three grandkids. We moved
here from Los Angeles and have been
members of the church for six years.
If you need to contact me, my contact
information is as follows:
Mary Christmas
1234 Maple Glen Drive
Gloucester, VA 23061
804-555-1234 (Home)
804-555-4321 (Cell)
Hi! I am the other deacon assigned to this parish. My name is Terry Kloth (my picture is the
bottom one!). I am in my second term as a deacon, but was previously assigned to another
parish, so we are new to one another. I have been a member of First Presbyterian Church for
20 years, so I already know many of you, but look forward to getting to know you better.
I am an accountant, still in practice. My wife Emory and I have two children, Carl and
Elizabeth, and one grandchild.
If you need to contact me, my contact information is as follows:
Terry Kloth 804-555-8990 (Home)
5678 Upupanda Way 804-555-4556 (Cell)
Gloucester, VA 23061