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WALKING THIS VALLEY- Tucson Chapter Vol. 37 No. 1 January-February 2019

Past Events: December Candle Lighting

(www.whatsyourgrief.com)

Tucson Chapter

P.O. Box 30733

Tucson, AZ 85751-0733

(520) 721-8042

www.tucsontcf.org

National Headquarters

P.O. Box 3696

Oak Brook, IL 60522

Toll free (877) 969-0010

www.compassionatefriends.org

We’re sorry for the reason you’re here, but we’re glad you’ve found us. –Tucson TCF

Tucson Chapter Meetings: CHRIST CHURCH UNITED METHODIST 655 N. CRAYCROFT

Second and Fourth Wednesdays 7:00pm-9:00pm

January 9, 23 February 13, 27 March 13, 27

Welcome! All bereaved parents, grandparents, and adult siblings are welcome at our support group meetings. Here

you will find comfort, caring people, and most of all-HOPE. Coming to the first meeting is hard, but you have nothing to lose and much to gain. For many it is the first real step toward healing. Although it may seem

overwhelming, we encourage you to come to several meetings to give yourself a chance to become comfortable. The hope of The Compassionate Friends is that those who need us would find us and that

those that find us would be helped. TCF also provides information to help members be supportive to each

other. We are not professional counselors. We are bereaved families who want to help each other.

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Debbie at The Compassionate Friends Tony's Momnationaloffice@compassionatefriends.org

12/31/2018 3:42 PM

Ring in 2019 with Hope

not just "Another" Another birthday

Another year on their date of death

Another holiday

Another New Year

There is a keen awareness when “another” is looming. The awareness can be worse than “another”

itself. The days and weeks leading up to “another” can be distressing. These days and weeks start a

season of additional grieving.

We grieve our loss but also grieve that there is yet “another."

It’s as if our grief has a rewind mechanism. The grieving is not the same as the first days, weeks, or

months but it sometimes can be as intense. The uncertainty of how I will feel on “another” leaves me

sometimes feeling nauseous. It’s as if I’m on a merry-go-round of agony and heartache.

There’s internal pressure that I should not feel as badly as I did on the previous “another.” But

“another” seems to be taking me farther away from my loved one. “Another” seems to purposefully try

to dim my memories.

There’s external pressure placed that “another” should not even be significant anymore. “Another” to

outside others must surely mean I am somehow less affected by this forever loss. Life does not stop to

let me fully prepare for "another."

“Another” does not come alone. It sometimes brings its partners of sleeplessness, irritability, and

impatience. Though many have tried to escape “another,” it cannot be escaped no matter how hard one

tries. “Another” unnecessarily reminds me of my forever, unending loss.

If there’s anything I am certain of with “another” it is that I am not alone. I know all my compassionate

friends are going through the same thing on their own “another.” I know they understand “another” and

that “We need not walk alone.”

"Another" New Year is upon us. There are thousands of families walking this journey alone. You can

help bring hope to others.

You can let them know that they in fact, are not alone.

You have the power to help other moms, dads, grandmas, grandpas, brothers, and sisters know hope

can return to their lives.

The Compassionate Friends needs you to help others face "another."

Ring in hope for 2019!

Please share this email with anyone who has lost a child at any age from any cause.

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Upcoming Events:

Steering Committee Meeting

January 30, 6pm Viscount Suite Meeting Room Anyone interested in volunteering or with ideas to share is welcome to attend.

Spring Event

Likely to be an ice cream social since that went well last year.

To be held on a weekend afternoon in March or April.

2019 National Conference:

The 42nd TCF National Conference will be in held in Philadelphia, on

July 19-21, 2019. “Hope Rings in Philadelphia” is the theme of this

year’s event, which promises more of last year’s great National

Conference experience. Updates will be posted on the national website

as well as on the TCF/USA Facebook Page and elsewhere as they

become available. Plan to come and be a part of this heartwarming

experience.

A Name for My Pain

I have given a name to my pain— it's called "Longing." I long for what was,

and what might have been I long for his touch and smell of sweat;

I long to hold him one more time. I long to look on his beautiful face

and impress it upon my memories and heart. I long to return to the day before and protect him from his death.

I long to take his place, so he may live and have sons too.

I long for time to pass much faster, so my longing and pain will lessen.

Will they?

June Williams-Muecke TCF Houston West, TX

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January Birthdays JACK ATKINSON ROBERT BREMOND SHANTI CARLISI ZAC CLARK COLLEEN CONTER GARY DURRENBERGER KATIE EDMONDS KATHRYN EIDE RYKEN EVERETT KAREN FORD ALEX GRADIAS EDNA HERRERA TIMOTHY HESKIN ROLAND JAMES ANDREW INGARGIOLA MEGHAN JONES MIA MATHESON JOSEPH (JAY) KAPLINSKI SEBASTIAN MEYER AARON MILLER PENELOPE OSWALT DONN OWENS KYLE PETTEYS MICHAEL JOHN PADILLA DAVID RADTKE MICHEAL P SHEATS CHRISTOPHER PULLEN NICHOLAS SIMS ERIC TAYLOR GREGORY RAMIREZ JR. BECKA ROSENWALD EMILY TRENT ANTHONY THOMASON ROBERT ERIC TURNER RAMES VALENZUELA MARIO VERDUGO JR LINDSAY WAKEFIELD PHILIP WORKMAN NICHOLAS A. BUONAVOLONTA JOVAN ANTONIO ESCARCEGA KETZIA AMAIRANY FLORES CHADWICK THOMAS KENYON JAMESON GILES PERSONIUS LARRY CASTAÑEDA

January Remembrance Days DANIELLE BARNETT PHILLIP BECKER JAKE BOUDREAU ERICA LYN BOWDEN CLYDE BURKEY JOHN JOSEPH CEPIN IV GEORGIA COLEHOUR LUKE DAINS STEFAN ENRIQUEZ LAURA GORMAN ANDREW GAINES MICAYLA JASMINE FULLER TYGE IRSKENS II EDNA HERRERA CESAR TIZOK GONZALEZ BRIAN JOEL HARPER KENNETH LUIKART AMY KRUPPENBACHER STEPHEN MAHAFFEY MIA MATHESON DAMION MATTHEWS DANIEL J. McCLAIN JARED PATRICK ALEX ANDRU MENDOZA MARIELLE MENTZER JASON PHANCO TRACY ANN POLLINS LUKE RUTHERFORD SHERYL SCHUBERT JANESSA JACLYN SMITH CLINT SMITH LINDA STUBBINS JESUS TARAZON-ROSAS OLANDO TRUJILLO ANTHONY THOMASON MARCOS RENE TORRES

EDWARD SAMUEL WEISS ANTHONY JOEL WELLS CONNIE CHRISTINE WILSON NICHOLAS A. BUONAVOLONTA

In this universe nothing is ever wholly lost. That which is excellent remains forever a part of

this universe. Human hearts are dust. But the love which moves the human heart, abides to

bless the last generation.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Online Support information is available on the National Compassionate Friends Website at www.compassionatefriends.org. There are over 26 private Facebook groups available for parents, grandparents, and siblings.

(One benefit from National) Remembrance Cards

In order to receive remembrance cards during your loved ones birthday month and

the death anniversary month, you must individually sign-up, with your complete

information, for the memorial book located on our website found under the “Find

Support” tab after clicking on “To The Newly Bereaved”

(https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/to-the-newly-bereaved/).

The national office does not have the resources available to complete this for

the chapters.

What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other? ~ George

Eliot

Unless expressly stated, the views expressed in articles, poetry, etc. in Walking This Valley are

not necessarily the views of The Compassionate Friends, The Chapter Steering Committee or

the Editorial Team. The Editor reserves the right to edit any contributions.

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February Birthdays DAVID BAKER JEREMY BRIGHT CHANCE MORGAN ALLISON LUKE DAINS SAHARA FAHMY ISAIAH BATES-SCOTT HOLLY VICKERS WESTON FOARD AISLYNN TIANA DAVIS ROGER PAUL EAGLE BRIAN FRAZIN MATTHIAS EDWIN ENLOW KEVIN GEIS JOSHUA GIBSON D. FRANCES ENRIQUEZ DANIEL LEE GEIS KYLE HENSON PETER JAMES "PJ" FARRELL PETER KJOLSRUD PAIGE LOVE RAUL (BUDDY) GARCIA JOSE EDY LEYVA DANIEL LOWE CHARLES A. (CJ) GRAHAM SHAY EMMA HAMMER BRIAN JOEL HARPER CHRISTOPHER J.R. HESSE ERIC SETH KOVITZ ROLANDO MONGE AISLYNN TIANA MAGUIRE BRIDGET MEMBRILA JOSHUA MOSS THOMAS WILLIAM NEAL NICHOLAS PUTNAM CASSIE RAIO KATELYN NICOLE STANES REBECCA SIEGEL AZAR IAN RUST DAREK SLAYTON

JAMES TURNER ANTONIO TIRADO CHRISTOPHER SCOTT CURTIS MICHELLE VICTORIA PADILLA NICHOLAS ANDREW SAN ANGELO JENNIFER DUTTON

February Remembrance Days BILL ANDERSON DAVID BAKER NICK BARNETT TAMARA DAWN BASS

PHILIP BIGGERS JADEN ELIJAH BLUE RANDY Z. ZIMMERMAN KELLI BONN CALEB CANDLER CARM-IDRELLE CASSEUS MEADOW CENTER KATIE DECKER JOHN PATRICK CLINE ALAN DOYLE ELISA GASTELLUM DONALD GREENE RAAD HALABY CINDY HARTRANFT JAY JOHNSON REBECCA KATZ CHRISTIAN LAWSON GREGGORY RYAN KAISER BRIDGET MCCABE ANGEL LEON CHARLES JOSEPH KEEN ZEMIRA BAYLA LENC DALE MELLBERG PAUL METZGER SHAWN NOBLE PAUL ROBOLD NATHAN NOWECKI-HUBBLE DAREK SLAYTON AZAR IAN RUST CHRISTOPHER PULLEN JULIO C. VERGARA KENNETH WALTER SHAWN DOUGLAS RAMON II JA-MUS WHITFIELD NOAH ZACARIAS BENJAMIN ROHEN-TRAPP

“Grief is never something you get over. You don't wake up one morning and say, 'I've

conquered that; now I'm moving on.' It's something that walks beside you every day. And

if you can learn how to manage it and honour the person that you miss, you can take

something that is incredibly sad and have some form of positivity. “

Terri Irwin

Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/grief

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EMILY RENEE SORKIN KATELYN NICOLE STANES

CRISIS HOTLINE INFORMATION

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

Suicide Hotline 1-800-Suicide

Depression & Crisis Hotline 1-800-784-2433

The National Institute for Trauma &

Loss in Children (TLC)

1-877-306-5256

Families Anonymous

(Addiction/Recovery)

1-800-736-9805

Al-Anon Family Groups

(Addiction/Recovery)

1-888-425-2666

Post-Partum Depression

1-800-944-4773

OTHER TUCSON SUPPORT

GROUPS

Information & Referral

Services…..800-352-3792

Homicide Survivors, Inc…..520-

740-5729

FOOTPRINTS-

Pregnancy and Infant

loss….520-873-6590

Tu Nidito/Children to

Children…..520-322-9155

Alive Alone

http://www.alivealone.org/ -for

parent(s) who have lost their

only child

MISS FOUNDATION

http://www.missfoundation.org/

Survivors of Suicide……. 520-

989-0467

Chapter Steering Committee

Leader: Sharon Farrell Co Leader: Tara Chico/Donna Ruboyianes

Editor: Diane Allison Contributing Editors: All members- contributions wanted!

Outreach/ Correspondence: Estella Salazar

Facebook: Melissa Chico, Cat Morrow

Website: Julie Shulick

New Attendee Coordinator: Cat Morrow

Library: Debbie Russell

Treasurer: Cindy Walter

Facilitators: Cindy Walter, Melissa Chico, Tara Chico, Carolyn Manka, Kim Teschner

Regional Coordinators: Barb & Gene Caligari, Chandler, AZ; Denise Dean

Fundraising: The Tucson Chapter of the Compassionate Friends earned $2150 from the

Jim Click Raffle in 2018. This is our largest fundraiser and although we did not sell any of

the three winning tickets we truly appreciate all those who purchased tickets to help fund

our efforts in supporting those who have lost a child, grandchild, or sibling.

Thanks also to all who either put money in the jar at meetings or give through their

employer (ECAP).

Photo buttons are now made at meetings. Bring your child’s photo printed on plain paper (button is 3.5” round) and ask anyone with a ribbon on their nametag for assistance.

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A National self-help, non-profit organization for families who have

experienced the death of a child

THE TUCSON CHAPTER

P.O. 30733

Tucson, AZ 85751-0733

Return Service Requested

January-February 2019

Non-Profit Org.

U.S. Postage

Paid

Tucson, AZ

Permit No. 2296

Contact: hotline (520) 721-8042 or visit our website at www.tucsontcf.org