part i: communicating is the most important skill you can...

PART I: COMMUNICATING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL YOU CAN LEARN

Every interaction with another human being is an attempt to influence them in some way.

Iwillpaymorefortheabilitytodealwithpeoplethananyother

abilityunderthesun.–JohnD.Rockefeller

IfIwentbacktocollege,I'dconcentrateontwoareas:Learningtowriteandtospeakbeforeanaudience.

Nothinginlifeismoreimportantthantheabilitytocommunicateeffectively.

–GeraldR.Ford

- 1 -

PART II: CONNECTING – THE FIRST ESSENTIAL STEP OF COMMUNICATING

WHAT IS CONNECTING? CONNECTING IS A KEY FOUNDATION OF INFLUENCE. To influence your audience, whether it is one person or an audience of a thousand people, you must:

1. Connect with your audience. 2. Be seen as an expert in your chosen area of influence. 3. Share something relevant to them.

Everyone has 3 questions before they choose to allow you to influence them:

ü Do you care for me? ü Can you help me? ü Can I trust you?

Notes:

Connectingistheabilitytoidentifywithpeopleandrelatetotheminawaythatincreasesyourinfluencewiththem.

–JohnC.Maxwell

- 2 -

PART III: DEVELOPING THE SKILL OF CONNECTING 4 Keys to Becoming a Better Communicator Who Connects with People

1. Great Information a. Learn from other people’s experiences. b. Gathering information is not enough on its own.

2. Experiential Growth a. Every time you speak, you have an opportunity to put information into practice. b. Treat every conversation or speaking opportunity as an experiment.

3. Feedback from an Expert a. Get trained ears and eyes on your communication. b. Apply the feedback to help you get better over time.

4. Model Excellence a. See what is possible. b. Watch how it is done.

When it comes to modeling excellence, John Maxwell is an exceptional example. He is not only a world class communicator, but his style and approach are relevant to almost every audience in every situation. Notes:

Thereisnolimittoyourdevelopmentasaspeaker.

- 3 -

PART IV: THE PRINCIPLE CHALLENGES TO CONNECTING AND COMMUNICATING Communication is not what is said. Communication is what is heard. The mark of a great teacher (communicator) isn’t what he or she says or knows; it’s what the student hears and understands. Notes:

Thesinglebiggestproblemwithcommunicationistheillusionithastakenplace.–GeorgeBernhardShaw

- 4 -

PART V: MEETING THE AUDIENCE WHERE THEY ARE Whether you are speaking with an audience, group or individual, people feel a connection with you when you:

ü Value them, they believe you like them and they trust you. ü Find common ground with them. ü Talk about things that are dear to them. ü Create powerful shared emotional experiences with them. ü Unite with them in pursuit of a common goal. ü Create an intimate conversational space with them. ü Communicate openly.

Notes:

Thefirstruleincommunicatingis,“Knowyouraudience.”

- 5 -

PART VI: MODELING EXCELLENCE VIDEO 1 – It’s not about you. To become great at connecting, realize:

ü It’s not about you; it’s about the audience. ü You have to lose yourself to the people you’re talking to. ü Quit worrying about how good you look and how good you sound. ü Humor disengages the ego.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Communicating is not about impressing the audience; it’s about connecting with them. • Trying to impress the audience creates a gap between you and the audience. • People aren’t looking for perfection. They are looking for connection.

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

1. How does John introduce humor?

2. What is the advantage of using humor?

3. Which principles and practices from Everyone Communicates, Few Connect does John

use in this clip?

CONNECTING PRINCIPLES CONNECTING PRACTICES Connecting increases your influence. Connectors connect on common ground. Connecting is all about others. Connectors keep it simple. Connecting goes beyond words. Connectors create an enjoyable experience. Connecting requires energy. Connectors inspire people. Connecting is more skill than natural talent. Connectors live what they communicate.

Connectingisallaboutothers:Wheneverpeopletakeaction,theydosofortheirownreasons,notforyoursormine.

- 6 -

PART VII: MODELING EXCELLENCE VIDEO 2 – Raising anticipation. When we hear something is coming, and then the speaker moves a little bit sideways, we want to hear the thing more, as it creates anticipation. KEY TAKEAWAYS The 4 Hs of connecting:

ü Hope ü Help ü Heart ü Humor


1. How many pauses does John have over 5 seconds? _____

2. How does he fill the pauses?

3. How many different styles of delivery does John use in this clip? _____


use in this clip?


- 7 -

PART VIII: MODELING EXCELLENCE VIDEO 3 – It’s kind of small! KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Contrast is a very powerful way to intensify the audience’s focus and attention. • The unexpected story line is a great way to get the audience to lean in. • Contrast can make things that aren’t that funny, very, VERY funny. • Use humor (within reason) to make light of difficult conversations. • Intuition with experience can work really well, but intuition without experience can be very

risky. QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

1. How can you add humor to your everyday conversation?


use in this clip?


ThepeopleIwanttobearoundarepeoplewhowanttoimprovethemselves.–JohnC.Maxwell

- 8 -

PART IX: MODELING EXCELLENCE VIDEO 4 – I’m so clumsy. VIDEO 5 – I started out preachy. KEY TAKEAWAYS

• To dial into your conversational delivery, imagine that you are talking to a close friend. • Be willing to change your delivery style for the sake of your audience or team. In John’s

early days as a communicator, he realized he came across as too strong, highly confident and intimidating, so he knew he needed to back off.

• Figure out what works for you. John discovered that his preferred method of delivery – sitting - makes him more conversational.


1. How can you keep the audience engaged when “accidents” happen?

2. What does John say is the key to success? ___________________

3. What things can you do to remove the “barriers” to your communication?


use in these clips?


Conversationalintimacyisoneofthefastestwaystoconnectwiththeaudience.–BillGove

- 9 -

part i: communicating is the most important skill you can...

Documents