parents of murdered children, inc. · 41, when he was killed by a drunk driver drug trafficking...
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Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER
F “For the Families & Friends of those who have died by violence”
19620 North 38th Avenue, Glendale AZ 85308-2215
Chapter Phone: (602) 254-8818 Chapter E-mail: [email protected]
* National Organization of Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc. (POMC)
635 West 7th
Street, Ste 104, Cincinnati OH 45203 (513) 721-5683 Fax: (513) 345-4489
Toll Free Number (888) 818-7662
http://www.pomc.com/phoenix/index.html Volume 28 No. 3 March 2019 https://www.facebook.com/pages/POMC-Valley-of-the-Sun/
MONTHLY SUPPORT MEETING
LOCATIONS
4th
Tuesday - Grief Support Meetings
All Meetings Start at 7:00 PM
*NO CHILDREN
ALLOWED AT MEETINGS*
◄WEST VALLEY MEETING► Tuesday, March 26 7:00 PM
Peoria Community Center
8335 West Jefferson Street
Peoria AZ 85344
Facilitator: Joyce Lefler
602-525-7217
◄CENTRAL VALLEY MEETING►
Tuesday, March 26 7:00 PM
Mountain View Police Precinct
Community Room
2075 East Maryland, Phoenix AZ
Facilitator: Beckie Miller
Co-Facilitator: Carolee Holbrook
623-582-2406
◄BILINGUAL EAST VALLEY
MEETING► Tuesday, March 26 7:00 PM
Scottsdale Police Department
McKellips District/Community Room
7601 E McKellips Road Building A
Scottsdale, AZ 85257
Facilitators: Sandy & Paulino Navarro
480-695-4789
◄◄SPEAKER/INFORMATION►►
MEETING (2nd Tuesday of each month)
*NO CHILDREN
ALLOWED AT MEETINGS*
Tuesday, March 12, 7:00 PM
*** Mountain View Police Precinct
Community Room 2075 East Maryland, Phoenix AZ
(off AZ 51 at 20th Street between Glendale
Avenue and Bethany Home Road -
Across from Granada Park)
***Our meeting this month will feature
Daniel Torrez of the Victim Offender
Dialogue Program from Arizona
Department of Corrections. If you
want to meet with your offender learn
more at this meeting.
NEWSLETTER EDITOR
Mail Memorial Page items for “The Journey” by
the 10th
of the month prior to publication month to:
POMC Newsletter
19620 North 38th Ave Glendale AZ 85308-2215
*Please use order form on Page 11
You can also email items to [email protected]
Be sure to place any article or picture in an
attachment, otherwise it can’t be accessed
properly (especially pictures) and may not be
used. Also, be sure to put POMC Newsletter in
the subject line of the email.
CRIME VICTIMS LEGAL ASSISTANCE
PROJECT
Free legal aid to help assert victims' rights
through Arizona Voice for Crime Victims @
(480) 600-2661, P.O. Box 12722, Scottsdale,
AZ 85261 or contact Mary Wallace at
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Jim Gentry
March 2, 2001
Richard Dear, Jr.
March 2, 2002
Jarrell Javenta Lamb
March 2, 2006
Rachel Dennis
March 2, 2007
Jeffrey Coonan
March 3, 1990
Scott Hazelip
March 3, 1994
Cierra Marie Gonzales
March 3, 2002
Susan Barber
March 3, 2003
Zachary Balogh
March 3, 2012
Robert Otis III
March 4, 1998
Adrianna Aguilar
March 4, 2015
Richard Capurso III
March 5, 1995
George Perez
March 5, 2002
Fabian Valenzuela
March 5, 2013
Ann Louise Leighton
March 6, 1996
Jason A. Alcorta
March 6, 2005
Yorhan Angullo
March 6, 2013
Alexis Garcia
March 6, 2013
Kathryn Ann Koger
March 7, 1973
Michael E. Gonzales
March 7, 1996
Sean Alexander Hardman
March 10, 1997
Carlos Silva
March 10, 2005
Zoe Ann Sunderman
March 10, 2006
Ashley Erinn Alexander
March 10, 2013
Richard Murillo
March 11, 2007
Devon J. Hinman-Shackelford
March 11, 2004
Alice Brundage
March 11, 2016
Larry M. & John D. Heil
March 12, 1991
Ken Hicks
March 12, 2002
Raina Bo Shirley
March 13, 1996
Luis Raul Altamirano Suarez
March 13, 2014
Jacob Allen
March 13, 2017
Bryan Ring
March 14, 2002
John Houge
March 14, 2010
Olajuwon Milligan
March 14, 2013
Carl Beasley
March 15, 1990
Michael Strode
March 15, 2004
Alexander Cyrus Sunn
March 15, 2008
Michael Christensen
March 16, 1995
Esteban Jimenez
March 16, 1999
Ruben Espindola
March 16, 2008
Nathan Floyd
March 16, 2012
Luka & Dominic Iriarte
March 16, 2012
Mike Anthony Stinnett
March 17, 1974
Jon Brian Norris
March 17, 1996
Pattrick Pennington
March 17, 1997
Jermarr Preston
March 17, 2011
Corey Pool
March 17, 2018
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.”
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Continued. . . .
Thomas A. Wallander
March 19, 1992
Christine Ann Wood
March 19, 2006
Luis Alberto Valenzuela
March 19, 2010
Savannah Walker
March 19, 2017
Nora Fielding
March 20, 1994
Timothy Morrison
March 20, 2000
Ryan Cunningham
March 20, 2004
Marcus Dixon
March 20, 2009
Cody Keeton
March 20, 2017
Arthur Lopez
March 21, 1994
Jordan Bader
March 21, 2002
Maurice Green
March 21, 2006
Carlos Guerrero
March 21, 2011
Armando Hernandez
March 21, 2016
Susan Marie Schmidt
March 22, 1978
Robert A. Bukey
March 22, 2005
Armando P. Alvarez, Jr.
March 22, 2006
Greg Luecke
March 22, 2012
Cathy Small
March 23, 1986
Michael Acuna
March 23, 2003
Joseph Barresi
March 24, 1979
Cynthia Bernal
March 24, 2000
Teri Foster
March 24, 2005
Bartosz Pawel Kaluza
March 24, 2006
Delia Rivera
March 25, 2007
John Flores
March 26, 2001
Melissa D. Baker
March 26, 2004
Karen Rooney-Jordan
March 27, 2002
Stephone Shay Wickware
March 27, 2003
Jalen Sims
March 27, 2010
Antwon Wormely
March 27, 2011
Isaiah Amari Vargas
March 28, 2007
Kurtland Ma
March 29, 2014
Shannon Spotts
March 29, 2017
Raymond R. Dorsey
March 30, 1999
Nathan Lawrence
March 30, 2002
Skye Moniqua Lee
March 30, 2008
Aaron Bacon
March 31, 1994
Nathan Anaya
March 31, 2004
Penelope Montesinos
March 31, 2005
Issurah Jackson
March 31, 2008
Ricky Ray Hernandez
March 31, 2012
Joshua Fitzpatrick
March 31, 2018
Every effort is made to ensure
accuracy on these pages.
Please notify us immediately
with any errors or changes.
4
VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER NEWS
TRIAL, JUDICIAL & ARREST UPDATES
•There has been an arrest in the murder of Remzi Nesfield, son of Aieshemarie and brother to Crystal Nesfield.
•There has been an arrest in the murder of Reginald Young, son of Deborah Young. Reginald was killed in
October 2017.
Our hearts, thoughts and prayers are with each and every family member as they endure this difficult process.
IN LOVING MEMORY GIFT DONATIONS (THANK YOU!)
(*All donations are tax deductible: Our chapter exists on the generosity of others, grants, and fundraisers)
♥Robert & Kathy Verdoza in loving memory of their son, Johnnie Verdoza
♥Jan Lewis in very loving memory of her daughter, Shannon Lynn Lewis.
♥Dave & Bea Amari in very loving memory of their son, Santino Eppinger.
CORPORATE & OTHER DONATIONS THANK YOU! UNITED WAY (Please Note: the write-in number to designate funds to our chapter through your employee
contributions is 0772). You must use this number for designating any funds to go to our chapter. Our chapter
name is not listed except by number. Donations from Melissa Mersch in memory of her son, Matthew, Christine
Busch in memory of her son, Erik, and Lisa Tamborski-Bishop in loving memory of her son, Alex.
AMERICAN EXPRESS - donations from Norma Yanez.
CHAPTER ITEMS FOR SALE
We have red and black bracelets for POMC with “Always in our Hearts” on them for $3 each, Window Decals for
your automobiles with our chapter logo and information for $5 each, Sun Catchers with our logo for $3 each and
Act of Kindness cards (you can attach to a donation or gift to someone…they have a space to write your loved
one’s name on them “This act of kindness was given in very loving memory of: ______________________”.
These cards are $3 for 10 cards. You can order by simply writing it on a piece of paper. Include $2 for shipping
and handling. Mail to POMC, Valley of the Sun Chapter, 19620 North 38th
Avenue, Glendale AZ 85308-2215.
These items can also be purchased at our Speaker Information meeting. For more information email:
SPEAKER INFORMATION MEETING FEBRUARY – SPOUSAL LOSS
This month we had a panel of members who had lost their spouses to murder, sharing the unique challenges of
life without a husband. Karan Bellemare whose husband, Jeff, was murdered in November 2017, while working
as a security guard at a Maryvale apartment complex, shared her story and that her husband’s case is unsolved.
Karan was afraid for her husband because his company did not allow them to carry guns for protection. She
shared that a few weeks before he was killed, she had a nightmare about him being hurt. One of the struggles with
losing a spouse, especially a husband, is that he was the main bread winner. His company did give her a widow
death benefit, but it was based on part time $10 an hour labor. It helped but not enough. She was also a caregiver
at the time to her mother and a disabled son. On top of all the challenges, the grief, the trauma, learning to
navigate without a husband, her brother and mother died within 6 weeks of each other. Karan shared lastly with
us that when your soulmate is gone, it is as if you’ve lost your right arm. A friend told her she would need to truly
reach deep down and find who she is without her husband and team mate.
Darcy Forst lost her husband, Ed, to murder in June of 2007. Ed was driving when he was rear-ended by another
car with 4 passengers. Words were exchanged and Ed was shot. He then hit the accelerator and crashed into a
propane tank that fortunately did not explode. Despite the business community raising one million dollars for a
Silent Witness reward, the case remains unsolved. Darcy shared her anger and frustration with media and police
and after the detective on the case and two subsequent Silent Witness detectives retired, Darcy and her family
decided not to do any more interviews to keep the case in the public eye and returned all the money they could in
the Silent Witness fund to those who donated it. She endured 8 years of counseling and says it was probably 3
years before she even left her house. She had to learn about finances and sold her husband’s business to the
partner who truly did not give her the value of what it was worth, but she knew nothing else at the time. Darcy
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also shared that at one point she tried to commit suicide. It is so hard on the family and you lose friends after
murder. And she is still not over what happened. In truth, we never get over it.
Jean Fisher lost her husband, Gary, in April of 2015. She had known him for 44 years and had been married for
41, when he was killed by a drunk driver drug trafficking illegal. For 16 months she endured the court process
before he received a 12-year sentence. Friends told her to get over it and move on. Others told her to get rid of all
his stuff all while she was trying to make sense of a world that no longer made sense, to a “new normal.” She
shared how she lost most of her friends and some of her family relationships. Financial problems ensued and
even things around the house she could not fix, that her husband used to fix, challenged her. She no longer had
the other half of her team to care for their home. All the firsts are hard, she also shared. The first holidays,
anniversaries, birthdays. She hates that people think grief comes in 5 neat little stages, as it is all over the place
and repeats the stages.
One of our attendees at the meeting, who also lost a husband, shared how she is afraid to sleep alone. It did not
help that her husband was murdered in her home. We all share the trauma and grief of losing a loved one to
murder but spouses have a lot of other challenges in learning to live alone and not have that spouse to help them.
We are grateful for our spouses who shared their stories with us.
►►►FRY’S COMMUNITY REWARDS PROGRAM FUNDRAISER FOR OUR CHAPTER◄◄◄
Our chapter is now a part the Fry’s Community Rewards program. If you shop there, you can simply sign up
(one time only) to connect your VIP card and we will get a percentage of proceeds. Just go to
http://www.frysfood.com, select Register, under Sign In information, enter your email and create a password.
Select User Card # and enter your Fry's VIP number, last name and zip code. Under Select Your Preferred
Store, enter the zip code of that store. Select Find Your Store then select Create Account. You will be
prompted to confirm your email. Click the hyperlink to finish creating your Online Account. If you already have
an Online Account with Fry's, you can skip this and go to
https://frysfood.com/topic/community?activePage=community-rewards-2. Select Sign In and enter your email
and password. Select My Account and then Account Settings from drop down menu. Click Edit under
Community Awards. Under “Find Your Organization”, select the box next to POMC and enter the NPO
number #DX532. Save changes and you are good to go. If you have registered correctly, you should see our
organization information listed under "Community Rewards" on your account summary page. Thanks for your
support.
☺☺☺☺☺AMAZON SMILE FOUNDATION☺☺☺☺☺
We are also part of Amazon Smiles, in which a portion of your purchases goes to our chapter. If you use our
special link, you will automatically be asked if you want to support our chapter, Valley of the Sun.
https://smile.amazon.com/ch/31-122548
►►►►►JACKSONS FAMILY CARWASH FUNDRAISER FOR CHAPTER►►►►►
A new way to help raise funds for our chapter has been offered by Jacksons Carwash. With every windshield
replacement through them using the referral code PARENTS, our chapter will receive $50. Just call 480-505-
5983 and give the referral code and set up your appointment. Thanks for your support. Every little bit helps us to
continue providing our programs and services.
CHAPTER SIBLING COORDINATOR Amanda (Harris) Labelle is our Sibling Coordinator and provides support for siblings outside of meetings.
You can reach her by phone for more information at 623-866-3189. Amanda lost her brother, Joshua, to murder.
ANNUAL FUNDRAISER AUCTION AND DINNER
Our 24th
annual fundraiser auction and dinner will be held on Saturday, February 23. Please note additional
information in the enclosed flyer. Please support us for this wonderful cause raising funds to provide our services
and programs to our families free of charge. We need your support.
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NEWS FROM THE NATIONAL OFFICE OF POMC
Website: www.pomc.org Phone 888-818-7662
E-mail: [email protected]
The National Office location is 635 West 7th
St., Suite 104, Cincinnati, OH 45203.
• This year’s National POMC Conference will be held in Denver Colorado at the Marriott Denver Tech
Center, August 8 – 11, 2019. For more information, please contact National or go on the website www.pomc.org.
Conference Rules: Absolutely no pet dogs or emotional/comfort support dogs are allowed in any POMC
session, workshop, meal or common area/Registration between August 7-11, 2019. No exceptions! An
Emotional Support Dog is an animal that provides comfort just by being with a person. Because they have
not been trained to perform a specific job or task they will not and do not qualify as service animals under
the ADA.
Service Dogs are welcomed.* Service dogs as defined by the Americans with Disabilities Act. Service
dogs are dogs that are trained to mitigate the handler’s disability. This does not include Emotional
Support Animals. If your dog helps you feel better, it is not a service dog. All service dogs will have
impeccable manners. If your dog is misbehaving, whether it is a service dog or not, you will be asked to
remove it (this is legal per ADA).
National Crime Victims’ Rights Week is the week of April 7-13, 2019. The theme this year is
“Honoring our Past. Creating Hope for the Future”. There will be ceremonies around the United States
honoring this event.
Amazon supports POMC! Please visit the National website at www.pomc.org and look for the Amazon
link. By accessing Amazon through the POMC website, POMC will receive a percentage of all purchases;
4 – 13%, depending on the item. This does not increase the cost of your purchase. It is a great opportunity
to purchase items and also contribute to POMC while doing so! Please share this wonderful opportunity
with chapters, family and friends. We appreciate everything you do to support POMC! If you should have
questions regarding the Amazon link, please don’t hesitate to contact us.
Please remember, if you have a car, RV or boat or any other kind of vehicle you do not need anymore, call
Action Donation Services. They will pick the vehicle up and donate the money to POMC. We have
received a check from their organization for the donation of an old car. If you are interested, please call
866-244-8464.
Attention Certified Members: The National Board of Trustees voted on August 2nd,
that all members
who have certified in the past and kept their certification current until now, will no longer need to be
recertified. The vote made your certification a permanent status. If you have any questions on this, please
contact Sherry Nolan at [email protected].
CONTACT PERSONS: Please watch for your yearly Contact Person Update form which will be
mailed/emailed around the first of January. These are due on March 1, 2019. If you do not receive your
mailing, please contact us no later than February 1, 2019.
The Grief Retreat Weekend will be held in Cincinnati, Ohio, and in Phoenix, Arizona, on the weekend
of April 26-28. This weekend is free, but you must pay a $25 deposit to hold your spot. The registration
form is on the website to fill out.
On the 2018 Annual Report, the National Board of Trustees added on the Memorial Monument and
Memorial Garden page the following: “Please be aware that the responsibility for the maintenance of the
Memorial Garden or Memorial Monument must be with the Chapters”.
FYI- We have put this information on our website. Please be advised that for the winter season, the
National Office may possibly be closed due to inclement weather.
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Memorializing Love One) By Judy Hawk/Scottsdale Arizona/February 2006
In the time following a loved one’s death, a time when individuals and families are in the process of grieving the loss, they will begin to make attempts at establishing ways to remember their loved one. This usually begins with the funeral/memorial service where family and friends recognize and remember the person. The service is a time of sharing memories and saying last good-byes. A touch point can best be described, according to the dictionary, as “a mark or effect left... a place that will emphasize or bring notice to a person at a special moment when a tender touch or remembrance is needed.” Deep within the human spirit is the need to honor and remember the people we love. It is almost an unheard cry of the soul to pledge never to forget the person and his or her part in our lives. Because of this desire to keep memories alive, people are impressed to make touch points (places to remember their loved ones). These touch points are not only physical reminders, but they also contribute to bringing comfort and peace to the heart and soul. Some touch points help bring closure in a loss. Others serve to provide an ongoing source of remembrance whenever they cross our paths, our minds and our thoughts. Touch points become a valuable part of grief recovery and a return to moving into a place of acceptance and restoration. Following are some suggested ideas for touch points: The cemetery gravesite is a good place to begin. Choosing a marker and meaningful inscriptions are important. Give yourself enough time after the service to sit down and put the name/dates/symbols and additional words together before you make a decision to order the marker. Markers usually take a number of weeks for completion, so you have time to think about what it will say about your loved one. Give yourself time! For families who choose cremation, there are a number of options that can help to build “touch points” for you. You may choose to use an urn/box for the ashes and keep them at home. You may choose to scatter the ashes, and when doing so, the time, place and people involved can be a memory builder for everyone. Photos, poems, etc., can become a part of the family’s good-bye to their loved one. The place and time you choose will set in motion a yearly remembrance of your loved one that will provide sweet memories. In situations where a death has been an accident, one way that many families choose to remember is to put a cross/flowers at the location where the accident occurred. These sites are healing for a family member to see, and the public will be made aware of the death. Most families will replace the flowers or cross on a regular basis for many years. Sometimes in cases of homicide, drowning, etc., a memorial place can be established at the location. When a death occurs at a location where a permanent memorial cannot be placed, then a family may choose to plant a tree in a park, along a roadside, at their church, or at their home. A living tree/plant represents a life well lived and a promise that life goes on. A memorial at a church, youth center, community center, and park are also options. Many times, a family can place a memorial marker at the site with their loved one’s name. No matter what the cause or situation of death, there are numerous ways a family can make their loved one’s life remembered. Your home is usually the most important place to remember your loved one: pictures on the wall, maybe a wall of pictures from childhood up to the present. Keepsake boxes with personal items are good. Making the memory in your home can be suited to highlight your loved one’s interests and personality. For instance, if he or she liked race cars, the “picture wall” could reflect this with cars and banners. If a woman is a homemaker, then add items to the wall that reflect her talents, such as quilt squares, pictures of children, a favorite necklace, a hat or recipe (framed). Let your imagination flow! Each time people come into the home, they will be drawn to what that person’s life reflected. A touch point can be established by finding a special place or a corner of your home where you can go to be alone with your loss. For instance, a quiet patio with plants, comfortable chairs, a view of the clouds and the sky could become your “touch point” place for remembering. You could place a candle, a small picture or a vase with a rose on a table nearby and use this area for your daily devotions and prayer. Tell your family that this is your place to be alone. Find a corner with a comfortable chair in your bedroom or living room and do the same. Finding a place of your own is important. Men may find that the outdoors is good—a familiar walking path in the park, a chair in the garage or workshop, a bench in the backyard. Be creative and think of what your needs will be for a “touch point” place of your own. Sometimes you may decide to plant flowers in a planter/flower bed, and as they bloom, place holiday items with them, such as plastic windmills that move with the wind, Easter eggs, flags, pumpkins, anything seasonal. On birthdays and anniversaries, release balloons with notes, fly kites or fly seasonal banners. Children especially enjoy visual remembrances. Let them decorate, make pictures, write songs or poems. Help them make memory books to use as touch points for themselves. Listed below are many different ideas for making memories. With an infant, child or teen’s death, I suggest purchasing a type of chest (like a hope chest) or a decorative box and begin to build memories by placing personal items of the child’s
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Memorializing Loved Ones Part 2: inside the chest or box. Some people may prefer to make their own boxes if handy with wood or other materials. Inside the boxes place items like favorite stuffed animals, dolls, cars and toys. Select a favorite outfit, like a shirt, sweater, dress or hat to place in the box. Put together a favorite book, the child’s own creative work, a favorite picture, tape or CD, jewelry, school items and a blanket/quilt or pillow. In other words, you are building a chest of your child’s favorites things. As you select these items, you will find so much to treasure as memories. It will be difficult, so take your time. If it takes a year or two, don’t worry. You can always go back at any time, sit down and open the lid and allow yourself to enjoy that special child and add another memory item. Making photo albums or scrapbooks are ways of preserving a person’s life for now and future generations. However, I recommend that you wait for a period of time after your loss before you begin these projects. Most of the time, this type of project brings memories rushing in before a person has had enough time to heal from the loss. Usually the second or third year after a loss is manageable for most people. Be good to yourself and try not to rush into a project that you are not ready to handle. Scrapbooks and photo albums can be set aside until the time is right. Deciding how and when to make a memory or memories of loved ones will differ with each individual. Each person can be creative in his or her own way. Some women will design and make a quilt, while others may make individual quilt squares with pictures/verses and frame them for a picture wall. Some people will write a poem, keep a journal or have a shirt made (with a picture) or a cap with the person’s name on it (kids love to wear these). Internet sites for high schools, colleges and clubs are available to post pictures/info about a loved one’s death. Most high schools have website postings of alumni who have died. A flower or vegetable garden can be planted and provide a year-round opportunity for memories. This type of memory provides not only beauty and gifts of food, but opportunities to be outdoors and for exercise. Post a sign, “Sally’s garden,” and provide a place for others to remember. Holidays and seasons provide many opportunities to make touch points. Because holidays, like birthdays and the anniversary of a death, are so difficult to experience, especially the first year, it is important to find one or two ways to remember your loved one at these times. The simpler, the better! At Christmas, try buying an ornament for the tree that makes a statement about the loved one. For instance, you can buy one for the music lover, the fisherman, the hockey fan, the cook, etc. Start a practice of purchasing a different ornament each Christmas with the same theme. As you decorate the tree each year, you will make a special place for each ornament, and your family will remember. If you hang stockings, don’t change your tradition. Try having family members write a little note to put in the loved one’s stocking. At Thanksgiving, have each person take turns around the dinner table sharing a special memory about the loved one. With all the holidays, use your imagination to do something creative and special. One of the best ways to make touch points is to visit the cemetery (if possible) and spend some time sitting on the grass, just remembering. You may place a note with the flowers, place a small cross and choose an item to leave as a reminder. This is a place you can always go to when you choose. It provides a reminder to you of a special person who was a part of your life.
MEMORIES ARE A GIFT OF LOVE
by Beckie A. Miller
When memories are all you have of the loved one once a part of you
they become a precious gift of love that cannot be taken away.
The heart that is broken by the loss of a loved one no longer here
can cherish the memories forever more,
that run freely through our minds and touch our hearts for all time.
When memories are all you have be thankful for them one and all
be grateful for the love you shared
for that love is best a memory than never to have been at all.
Who would we be to have never known those we shared too brief a time?
And yet it was enough to love so deeply that pain forever sears our soul.
Despite it all, I’d rather feel the pain than never to have known them at all.
When memories are all you have, they are the most precious gift of love…
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POETRY PAGE
“I HEARD YOUR VOICE IN THE WIND TODAY”
I heard your voice in the wind today
and I turned to see your face;
The warmth of the wind caressed me
as I stood silently in place.
I felt your touch in the sun today
as its warmth filled the sky;
I closed my eyes for your embrace
and my spirit soared high.
I saw your eyes in the window pane
as I watched the falling rain;
It seemed as if each raindrop that fell
quietly said your name.
I held you close in my heart today,
it made me feel complete;
You may have died … but you are not gone
you will always be a part of me.
As long as the sun shines …
the wind blows …
the rain falls …
You will live inside of me forever,
for that is all my heart knows.
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THE COURAGE TO GRIEVE (A Weekend of Hope and Healing in the Pines)
April 26 – 28, 2019 in beautiful PINE, ARIZONA
Our chapter is hosting our thirty-first, self-help, rewarding weekend of the courage to grieve, to face the
many overwhelming and difficult emotions that are the aftermath of murder and are often compounded by the
intrusion and frustration of the judicial process. Beneath the explosive emotions of rage, hate, and revenge,
lay the more primary feelings of pain, fear and helplessness. Unresolved, these emotions can cause survivors
to feel they are losing their minds. The isolation survivors feel from those who will not or cannot deal with
the impact of the loss, leave survivors alone with their grief or discourage them from grieving at all. An
integral part of this weekend will be an examination of love, tenderness and affection, relaxation techniques
and the encouragement to move forward, uncover and experience within a safe environment of others who
truly understand. The weekend has been designed to influence the reconstruction of a new life - a life that
has a renewed sense of purpose, though forever changed by murder.
The weekend begins with dinner on Friday night. Those attending will all meet at the cabin in Pine at
5:00 p.m. with introductions to the group. This cabin was purchased by Roger and Carol Fornoff specifically
for retreats. Their daughter, Christy Ann, was killed in Tempe in 1984, while collecting money for her
newspaper delivery route. Our chapter has hosted 31 retreats at the Fornoff’s cabin in the beautiful and
peaceful pines surrounding it.
The cost of the weekend is no charge to our families, as we obtain grant funds. Meals are home-cooked
and served family style as if you were at home. Roger is a very good cook and he loves doing so. Space is
limited to a maximum of 17, so reserve your spot now. *While no charge to attend, we do need a deposit of
$50 (per person attending) which will be refunded to you after your participation that weekend (check or
cash, please).
Many of those who have attended the grief weekends will tell you, though it is hard emotional work, it is
very beneficial and rewarding. Husbands and wives, siblings, all family members should attend together and
learn that while we each grieve differently and had our own relationship with our loved ones, we all share the
pain and the trauma of losing a loved one to murder.
Please sign me up for the grief retreat in Pine. Deposit - $50 check or cash)
Name:_________________________________________________________________________
Address:___________________________________City:__________State: _____Zip________
Phone: Home:____________ Cell:_____________ E-mail: ___________________________
Need to Carpool _____
Any questions, please call Beckie @ (602) 254-8818 or E-mail [email protected]
*Mail form to POMC, Valley of the Sun Chapter, 19620 North 38th Avenue, Glendale AZ 85308-2215
*Map, info on what to bring and an information questionnaire will be mailed after sign up.
11
VALLEY OF THE SUN
BOARD OF DIRECTORS (2019)
Beckie Miller, Chapter-Leader .......... .(623) 582-2406 Don Miller, Treasurer ........................ .(623) 582-2406 Mari Bailey, Secretary…………………(602) 405-7401 Carolee Holbrook, Co-Leader ............(602) 300-7665 Ola Wladyszewski…………….............(480) 703-7115 Marie Belmontez……………………….(562) 508-2397 Amanda Labelle……………................(623) 866-3189 Paulino Navarro..................................(602) 828-1106 Sandy Navarro, Co-Leader.................(480) 695-4789 Anna Ybarra……………………………(623) 986-9168
(Volunteers)
Carolee Holbrook - Office Assistance Mari Bailey - Facebook Information Admin
CONTACT NUMBERS
SIBLING SUPPORT: Amanda (Harris) Labelle is our
chapter's Sibling Coordinator providing support for
siblings. Her contact info is 623-866-3189 or email is:
POMC VOICE MESSAGING)....................(602) 254-8818
Chapter E-mail.……………………. [email protected]
Chapter Fax: .................................................(623) 582-0917
CRISIS LINE/MOBILE CRISIS TEAM
Empact Crisis Line ............................ ..(480) 784-4949
OTHER HELP LINES
Teen Lifeline.......................................…...(602) 248-8336
GrandCare (Grandparents help line) .....(602) 274-5022
Crime Victims Legal Assistance Project (480) 965-5640
MCAO Victim Services.............................(602) 506-8522
Crime Victim Compensation....................(602) 506-4955
♥♥♥ THANKS FOR CARING ♥♥♥ To the Mountain View Police Precinct for donating our meeting room. To the Department of Public Safety (VOCA), for the grant for our newsletter, and everyone who has donated gifts of their time, talents and energy to our chapter activities. With your help, we are able to continue the outreach that is needed by our community.
Memorial Wall Order Form
Please add my loved one’s name to the “Valley of the
Sun Memorial Wall in their Memories.” Each
Nameplate is $10. Our wall is displayed at many
special events across the valley during the year.
NAME__________________________________
Age:___________ Murder date: _____________
Picture Board
___ Check here if sending picture for the picture
board & or Holiday Memorial Video (no cost).
You may email picture to [email protected]
Chapter Bracelets
Red and black with words “Always in our Hearts.” $3
each # ordered _____
Chapter Window Decals
$10 each for auto or home with our logo and chapter
information: # ordered _____
*Make all checks or money orders out to POMC
*Mail to 19620 North 38th Avenue
Glendale AZ 85308-2215
Call 602-254-8818 and leave a message if you wish
to pay by credit card. Minimum $20 order
“The Journey” Memorial Page Order Form (newsletter)
Please reserve: □ ½ page (suggested donation of $10)
□ Full pg (suggested donation of $20)
Month you wish memorial to appear in: ________________
Loved One’s Name________________________________
Age _____
Date of Death_______________
YOUR Name_____________________________________
YOUR Phone Number______________________________
YOUR E-MAIL __________________________________
A half page will hold a picture and short poem OR message,
depending on space. If a photo is included, please provide
identification of the person on the back. If you wish the photo to
be returned include a self-addressed, stamped envelope, big
enough for the picture to fit in. Unless otherwise specified,
location, size and structure of the text and picture will be at
editor’s discretion and space permitting.
**We also, if space is available, print "Survivor to Survivor"
stories if you would like to send in a one page, single spaced and
typed document. Also, if you have written poetry about your loss
or have a favorite poem to share with others. We do edit for
misspellings and or profanity. There is no charge for these
items, either poetry or shared stories.
*Return this form with your material for The Journey by the 10th
of the month preceding the issue you wish it to appear in; for
example: September 10 for October's newsletter, etc.
*A donation for the memorial page can be made by sending a
check made out to POMC and mailed in care of:
POMC
Valley of the Sun Chapter
19620 North 38th Avenue
Glendale AZ 85308-2215
Return Address PARENTS OF MURDERED CHILDREN, INC.
VALLEY OF THE SUN CHAPTER 19620 North 38th Avenue
Glendale AZ 85308-2215 (602) 254-8818
WHY WE ARE HERE: MISSION STATEMENT: “POMC makes the difference through ongoing emotional support, education, prevention, advocacy, and
awareness.”
VISION STATEMENT: “To provide support and assistance to all survivors of homicide victims while working to create a world free of
murder.”
This project is supported by Grant No. VOCA-2018 -POMC-00264 from the US Department of Justice - Office for Victims of Crime. The opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the US DOJ or the Arizona Department of Public Safety.
“It shall be the policy of Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc., to provide equal membership/employment service opportunities to all eligible persons without regard to race, religion, color, national origin, citizenship, age, sex,
sexual orientation, marital status, parental status, disabilities, membership in any labor organization, political affiliation, and for employment only, height, weight, and record of arrest without conviction.”
*If you feel you have been discriminated against, you may file a complaint with our National Office,
635 West 7th Street, Suite 104, Cincinnati, Ohio 45203. www.pomc.org (513) 721-5683
To refer a complaint to an appropriate investigating entity:
Office for Civil Rights
Office of Justice Programs
U.S. Department of Justice
810 7th Street, NW
Washington, D.C. 20531 www.ojp.gov
In order to file with the federal Office for Civil Rights (OCR), two forms must be downloaded from the internet and submitted in writing to the ORC. The forms can be found at www.ojp.gov/about/ocr/complaint.htm.
Arizona Department of Public Safety
VOCA Administration
Civil Rights Coordinator
PO Box 6638 - MD 1320
Phoenix AZ 85005-6638 (602) 223-2491 www.azdps.gov/services/crime_victims
Parents Of Murdered Children, Inc., is a self-help organization dedicated to the aftermath of murder. The success of its mission depends upon the participation of the families and friends of those lost to murder.
POMC number (602) 254-8818