PARENTING WITH SUCCESS NEWSLETTER

From 12 to 18 Months

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Brain DevelopmentLook for Your Toddler To: • Actively explore by throwing, dropping,

squeezing, banging, etc.• Build a tower of three blocks• Use “tools” such as a stick to get at a toy• Be interested in what makes things happen:

light switch, opening/closing doors, pushing buttons

• Explore “one-to-one correspondence”; putting one object in one container

• Try to predict what will happen if he or she does something. This might mean doing the same thing over and over until she or he knows what will happen

Here’s What You Can Do:• Give your child the gift of exploration by trying

not to limit or stop behaviors except for safety reasons. Remember, a toddler is not trying to be naughty when she or he throws, bangs, drops or makes a mess. This is how your toddler learns!

• Provide things your toddler can stack.• Create chances to see how things work: let her

or him turn on the lights or sink faucets, open and shut safe doors or drawers, and/or provide toys that teach these things.

• Give her a muffin tin or other divided container and let her put one object in each section.

• Be patient when your toddler tries things over and over. It can seem annoying, but is so important for learning.

Language DevelopmentLook for Your Toddler To: • Progress from “pre-words”, like saying “bah”

for bottle, to saying about 10 words you can understand

• Understand many more words than he can say• Use jargon, which is a combination of babbling,

jabbering and real words. This is the beginning of conversation and should be encouraged

• Understand simple directions like “no”, “come”, “look”, but not always be able to do what you ask

• Use a questioning tone to get you to say a word

or name an object: toddler says “ball?” to try to get you to repeat it. When the toddler does this over and over, it may be annoying, but it is an important part of learning to talk

• Point or look at the correct object when you ask “Where is the _____?”

• Repeat words that you say• Enjoy singing and music, and may try to sing

himself or herself• Enjoy books, but be more interested in the

pictures and names of objects than in the whole story

Here’s What You Can Do:• Be encouraging when he or she tries to say

words. If your toddler says “bah”, say “yes, that’s your bottle!”

• Listen and respond when he or she uses jargon.• Remember, even though your toddler

understands many words, he or she still can’t control actions most of the time.

• Respond to your toddler’s questioning tone even if he or she repeats it many times and it gets tiresome.

• Use “parallel talk” — talk to your child about what he or she is doing, without asking too many questions: “You’ve got the big yellow ball. You’re throwing the ball.”

• Use “description” — describe things to your child: “Look, there’s a dog!”

• Use “expansion” — when you child says a word, add more words to it: “Ball?” You say “Yes, it’s a yellow ball.”

• Sing to your child. Don’t worry if you are out of tune or if you don’t know all the words; your child will enjoy it anyway.

• Play music, but keep the volume at a normal level to avoid harming your child’s hearing.

• Choose children’s books that are simple, with interesting pictures of familiar objects, and only one or two sentences per page. Don’t be surprised if your child doesn’t sit for the whole book. Keep reading anyway.

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YOUR CHILD’S DEVELOPMENTFROM 12 TO 18 MONTHS

Social-Emotional DevelopmentLook for Your Toddler To: • Want lots of attention and learn to do “cute things” to

get attention• Usually be very self-centered, want her or his

own way, and even be bossy and uncooperative sometimes

• Want mom and dad and other important people to be nearby most of the time and dislike playing in a room by herself or himself

• Copy what you do, like sweeping the floor or setting the table. Sometimes she or he will copy dangerous things, like using the curling iron, so be careful!

• Begin to recognize herself or himself in the mirror or in a photograph

• Have tantrums when she or he is frustrated or doesn’t get what she or he wants. Tantrums are normal!

• Have a security object — blanket, thumb, pacifier — to calm down. It’s good for your toddler to be able to calm herself or himself and these objects can help. Click to learn more: Thumb, Finger Sucking, Pacifiers and Security Objects

• Give hugs and kisses and show affection some of the time

• Like getting things, but not giving things• May begin to be fearful of some things: dogs, the

dark, loud noises

Here’s What You Can Do: • Enjoy your child’s “performances.”• Remember that your toddler’s brain is still growing

and she or he may not be able to cooperate or share yet. You can gently begin to teach ways to be cooperative. Remember that it will take time and lots of practice.

• Stay in sight as much as possible and let your toddler know where you are. Let her or him play near you. If you have to leave, tell her or him rather than sneaking out. When you sneak away, it makes your toddler more anxious and she or he doesn’t learn to trust you.

• Let your toddler “help” you with safe jobs like folding washcloths or dusting. This takes extra time and patience from you, but she or he will learn a lot!

• Practice asking your toddler to give you things, but don’t be surprised if she or he won’t.

• Learn more about your child’s unique temperament. You can do this by calling 605-322-3660 or emailing temperament@avera.org

Physical DevelopmentLook for Your Toddler To: • Move from standing alone, to “cruising” (walking

while hanging onto furniture), to walking, and maybe even running by himself or herself

• Enjoy his or her new movement skills, but frequently fall and bump into things

• Try climbing on anything he or she can! • Move from crawling up and down the stairs, to

walking upright while holding your hand• Bend from a standing position to pick up objects• Try walking backwards• Practice his or her new control of arms and hands to

throw things• Try to climb out of the highchair, stroller and maybe

even crib• Enjoy exploring and not like being restrained in

strollers, highchairs, car seats; may resist having to hold your hand

• Begin using one hand more than the other• Carry things in each hand and move things from

place to place• Pick up small things like crumbs, bugs and pebbles• Turn the pages in a book, but not always

one at a time• Use his whole arm to scribble with

a crayon or marker• Be interested in feeding himself or herself

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Here’s What You Can Do: • Rearrange your home to provide room for your

toddler to practice walking.• Provide safe places and supervision to practice

climbing and using the stairs.• Provide safe things to throw. Remember that

your toddler doesn’t throw to be naughty; he or she now has control of arm muscles and needs to practice!

• Provide times when your toddler can explore without being restrained. Be sure the area is safe and an adult is watching.

• Let you toddler choose which hand to use. Don’t try to influence right or left-handedness.

• Try to relax about the tidiness of your house. Toddlers are messy!

• Give your child opportunities to scribble. Remember that your child is using his whole arm to scribble, so use big paper! This is an important pre-writing step. Be sure to supervise, because your toddler doesn’t know the difference between writing on the wall and writing on the paper.

• Give your toddler finger foods and allow him or her to practice with small utensils. Begin teaching him or her to use an open cup.

ALL TODDLERS ARE DIFFERENT All toddlers develop at their own rates. Notice your child’s growth in each area so you can encourage each new stage. Your job is to provide opportunities for your child to learn new things when he or she is ready, without being pushed or pressured. If you have concerns, contact your health care provider or the family life education office at Avera, 605-322-3660.

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PRODUCT RECALLSAll parents should monitor recalls of children’s products. We recommend the Consumer Product Safety Commission, which will either email you periodic updates on product recalls, or send a newsletter by mail. Visit cpsc.gov

Thoughts on ChildproofingChildproofing your home will be vital now! Be sure other places your toddler visits are safe as well —grandparents, babysitter and relatives. Nothing can be truly childPROOF. Constant supervision is extremely important when caring for toddlers.Water is a major hazard for toddlers. Their natural curiosity attracts them to water. A toddler can drown in as little as two inches of water because she or he does not know enough to get up out of the water when she or he inhales it. If toddlers fall into a bucket or toilet, their large, heavy heads and lack of upper body strength make it difficult to get out.Click to learn more: Drowning Prevention in Young ChildrenPulling down dangerous items from tables and counters is a risk for toddlers. Avoid using tablecloths. Keep cords for lamps and appliances out of reach.Choking can occur when a curious toddler puts small items in his or her mouth. Stairs should be gated or monitored until you are confident that your toddler can use them safety.Fall injuries can occur when a toddler falls and hits hard or sharp objects and furniture. Consider corner guards and padding for those items.Strangling hazards can occur when a toddler gets a rope, string or cord around the neck. Children’s hooded clothing should NOT have strings in the hood. Cords from window blinds and drapes are another strangulation hazard.Suffocation hazards can occur when an object obstructs a child’s breathing. Plastic bags, dry cleaning plastic, and any object that can tightly cover a child’s nose and mouth and prevent

breathing should be kept out of a child’s reach. Picnic coolers and large plastic storage boxes can be airtight, so they pose a suffocation hazard. Toddlers can climb into these containers and become trapped because they may not know enough to push the lid off.Click to learn more: Preventing Suffocation and Strangulation in Young ChildrenBurn injuries can occur when matches and lighters are in a child’s reach. There is no such thing as a childPROOF lighter! Keep these items out of your child’s reach. Supervise toddlers around barbeque grills, fireplaces, stoves or anything hot.Click to learn more: Burn PreventionPoisoning is common in preschool children because of their curiosity, lack of knowledge, and the tendency to put everything in their mouths. Check every room in your house for poisonous substances that could be ingested, inhaled, or cause poisoning by skin contact and put these items out of your child’s reach. Remember to check the garage! House plants can also be poisonous. If you are not sure about your plants or shrubs, contact the South Dakota Safety Council or your county extension office. Keep the Poison Control Center Number, 1-800-222-1222.Click to learn more: Poison Prevention GuidelinesGuns should be kept in a locked gun safe. Trigger locks are an additional protection. Ammunition should be stored separately. Toy Safety will be important to keep in mind throughout your child’s life. Pay attention to age guidelines on toys. Periodically check toys for sharp edges, broken pieces that could be choking hazards or any damage that could affect the safety of the toy. Be cautious of homemade toys or toys purchased at craft shows. They may not follow safety standards.Click to learn more: Toy Safety

LET ’S MAKE IT SAFE

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HEALTH HINTSLead PoisoningLead poisoning can result in permanent brain damage in children. Paint or plaster containing lead, lead plumbing pipes, contaminated soil, and foreign manufactured toys painted with lead paint can cause lead poisoning when children put their fingers in their mouths after touching one of these sources. If your home contains chipped or peeling paint, or you know you have lead pipes, visit cdc.gov/nceh/lead/ for more information.

ImmunizationsIt is very important to keep your child on an immunization schedule. Your health care provider can advise you. If you can’t afford immunizations, call Sioux Falls Immunization Coalition at 605-339-4357.

LITTLE BODIES NEED BIG NUTRITION Giving Up the Bottle or BreastWeaning a baby is a personal decision made by parents. Many health care providers, including pediatricians, suggest weaning during the 12- to 18-month period. Prolonging the bottle can lead to ear infections and teeth problems. Some babies learn to depend on the breast or bottle to soothe fussiness or to get to sleep.

Pasteurized whole cow’s milk is a good choice for children under age 2. Low-fat milk products can be used later. Children under two need fat in their diets for brain development, and their diets should not be fat restricted. There are transition formulas on the market that can be used, but they can be expensive. Consult your health care provider for the best option for your baby.

To help your child with the weaning process• Start by offering milk in a cup at one meal,

followed by water in a bottle (if your child takes a bottle). Gradually progress to using only a cup at mealtimes.

• Give juice in a cup. Remember to use only 100 percent fruit juice and only 4-6 ounces a day. Never put juice in a bottle or give your child fruit drinks or soda.

• Don’t assume that every cry is a need for feeding. Consider how long it has been since the last feeding. Try a cup first, instead of breast or bottle.

• When your child seems to be done eating, remove the breast or bottle instead of allowing him or her to play. Remember that you can continue to cuddle or play with him or her without feeding.

• As always, never put your child to bed with a bottle. • Be cautious in using sippy cups, especially those

with spill resistant valves. These can lead to tooth decay because the liquids in the cup wash over the child’s front teeth. Your goal should be to help your child learn to use an open cup as soon as possible, even though this can be a little messier. Try putting small amounts in the cup to minimize mess. A soft straw can be another option.

Self FeedingIt’s OK to eat a little or a lot. The amounts your toddler eats may vary from meal to meal and from day to day. Toddlers aren’t growing as rapidly as infants, so they don’t need to eat as much. They tend to be very active, and many only sit long enough to satisfy their immediate hunger before they want to get down and play. You may have to provide additional snacks every few hours, but make sure snacks are as healthy as the food you would serve at a meal. Minimize juice and teach your child to drink water when thirsty. Many toddlers go on “food jags” when they eat only a certain type of food, like grains, for a week or two. Continue to offer a variety of foods at each meal. Remember that a serving size is about 1 tablespoon per year of age. Your child may eat more than this, but filling the plate with adult size servings and expecting him or her to eat it is not realistic. Try not to use food as a reward (if you eat all your green beans, you can have ice cream) or as a punishment (if you don’t eat your meat, you can’t go out to play). Get rid of the clean plate rule. Children should learn to listen to their bodies, and stop eating when they are no longer hungry. Mealtime should be a pleasant time, free from conflict, bargaining or bribing. Click to learn more: Children’s Nutrition Guidelines

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THINKING ABOUT GUIDANCE AND DISCIPLINE

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Characteristics of a Toddler

Toddlers have unique thinking strategies that make them seem naughty much of the time. Toddlers are not like 4- and 5-year-olds, and can’t behave like them!• Toddlers have limited language; they have ideas

but can’t express them, which can be frustrating.• Toddlers don’t understand how the world works.

They test everything by shaking, throwing and mouthing; sometimes destructively. They don’t understand that things break, belong to other people and cost money!

• Toddlers have very little self control. They can’t always resist “touching”, stop themselves from doing things they know they aren’t supposed to do, or remember what “no” means.

• Toddlers are impulsive — they do things without thinking first.

• Toddlers learn by doing things over and over — even things they aren’t supposed to do! They want to be sure they know what will happen when they do something!

• Toddlers learn by imitating. They don’t know the meaning of danger and will sometimes copy something you do that could hurt them — like handling the curling iron, trying to drive the car or climbing a ladder.

• Toddlers learn by being out in the world! They need to see new things and new places, hear new words, and see positive, smiling faces!

• Toddlers are not able to share. This will become possible after age 3, but don’t expect it now, or punish a toddler for not sharing. You can begin to teach your child about sharing in a positive way. You can also teach trading.

There is no simple way to allow a 12- to 18-month-old toddler to explore safely or make her or him obey your requests. Your child loves to explore and needs to explore to learn, but it’s so easy to get into trouble when you don’t understand what danger is. You will need to keep watch constantly.

Techniques for Guiding YourToddler’s Behavior

• Let your child know when she or he is doing well. “Good job helping Mom!” “I like the way you are holding my hand!” Praise good behavior

• Tell your child what he or she CAN do and minimize the no’s.

• Plan ahead for outings by talking to your child about behavior, taking along activities and snacks, and being prepared to leave if your toddler cannot handle the situation.

• Tell your toddler what you want him or her to do, instead of asking. If you say, “Do you want to pick up your toys now?” Your toddler will probably say NO! Instead, say, “It’s time to pick up the toys now. I’ll help you.”

• Make the things you want her or him to do interesting: “Let’s sing a song while we change your diaper.”

• Give another idea. “I can’t let you jump off the couch, but you may jump off this stool.”

THINKING ABOUT GUIDANCE AND DISCIPLINE

Punish or Teach? Think about Your Guidance Goals

Even at this young age, there are things you can do to help your child learn to control his or her own behavior. When parents try to teach the right behavior rather than punishing the wrong behavior, they give their child a better chance to begin to learn self control. Think carefully before slapping your toddler’s hand or spanking. It may stop her or his behavior right now (or it may not), but it certainly doesn’t teach the behavior you want her or him to learn. This doesn’t mean letting your child do whatever she or he wants. It means using positive ways to TEACH her or him how to behave.

Spoiling

Children get spoiled when parents give in to unreasonable demands, fail to limit annoying behavior, or let their child’s minor needs inconvenience others. Spoiling will not happen because you play with your child or listen to her or his needs. Set clear, reasonable limits for your toddler that are age appropriate. Let her or him practice these skills instead of doing things for her or him.

Time Out

Time out is a guidance tool to help your child take a break from behavior that is not OK. Toddlers between 12 and 18 months of age may or may not be ready for time out. Time out is a short break (1-2 minutes per year of age) to help the child gain control. For young toddlers, parents can take a “self time out.” This is when you say in a firm voice, “I don’t like it when you hit.” Then turn around and walk away for 1-2 minutes. Simply hug your child and resume normal activities.

The child will begin to learn that some behaviors make her or him lose your attention. Your attention and eye contact are very important to your toddler, and she or him doesn’t like losing it!Click to learn more: Terrific Toddlers

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Hot Topics for Toddlers

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Biting

Biting is a common behavior in toddlers, especially those in childcare.Click to learn more: Handling a Biter

Don’t Rush Toilet Training

Friends and family may be telling you that it’s time for potty training. In the United States, children are usually 2 or 2 1/2 before they begin this task. Children 12-18 months usually do not have the developmental skills needed to be successful. Consider waiting a while before introducing potty training.

Very few children are ready for toilet training before the age of 2. Trying to potty train a child who is not ready will be frustrating, and usually will result in failure. It’s best to wait until your child is a little older. You can set the stage for toilet training by calling attention to things that are wet and dry, including the diaper, giving words to body functions — “It looks like you are pooping,” or “You went potty in the bathtub.” If your child wants to explore the potty chair or sit on it, that’s fine, but don’t expect much progress just yet.Click to learn more: A Parent’s Guide to Toilet Training

CHILDCARE CORNER

Continue to visit with your childcare provider often about your child’s care. Be sure your care provider understands toddler behavior and agrees with you on approaches to guidance and discipline. Ask your care provider to limit television time with your toddler.In childcare, toddlers need to

• Have their emotional needs met through rocking, smiling, cuddling, etc.• Have time for rest or quiet time when needed• Have a safe place to practice walking and exploring• Use all their senses in their play• Learn language by being talked to, being listened to, being read to, hearing the names of objects

For more information on choosing childcare, contact the HelpLine Center by dialing 211 in the Sioux Falls area or visit their website helplinecenter.org.

A Word about Television and Electronic Screens

Because of the brain development happening, real life experiences are better for toddlers than watching television or other electronic screens. The sound and lights from television, even children’s programs, can distract toddlers and can keep them from doing activities that are more helpful to learning. Toddlers need to experience the textures, dimensions and properties of REAL objects to learn about them. Toddlers need to hear REAL interactive language with a response in order to learn it. Television and electronic screens do not supply these important concepts. Many experts feel that children under the age of 18 months should not watch television or use electronic screens AT ALL.

Sensory Activities

Toddlers love activities that let them feel, squeeze and test objects. You might want to consider using a sensory box. Buy a large, clear plastic box about 6 inches deep. Place the box on an old towel or plastic table cloth and put in some dry oatmeal. Give your child cups or scoops, toys to hide, or large funnels.

Be sure to supervise! Dry oatmeal could be a choking hazard for children this age, if they put too much in their mouth.

Bath time is also a sensory activity! Provide funnels, cups, scoops and other interesting toys for your child to pour, fill and dump. Always supervise bath time and NEVER leave a child unattended in the tub for even a few minutes.

Sit your child in the highchair or at the table and provide a piece of dark construction paper, a clean paint brush and a small cup of water. Protect the surface with a plastic cloth in case the color bleeds. Let the child “paint” with the water. It will turn the construction paper a darker color. Remember that it is OK if your child dumps the water! You can even let the paper dry and reuse it!

ACTIVITY CORNER

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When Your Toddler Drives You Crazy!Parenting a toddler is emotionally and physically exhausting! All parents get upset with their toddlers sometimes. If you feel angry and out of control, here are some ideas:

• Take deep breaths, count to 10, close your eyes• Put your toddler in a safe place for a few

minutes (crib, playpen) to give yourself a time out to calm down

• Ask a trusted friend or relative to relieve you so you can have a break

If you feel that your emotions are difficult to manage, talk to your doctor, spiritual advisor or counselor. Getting help means that you are responsible and that you care about your child.

MOMMIES MATTER; DADS DO, TOO

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