parenting wisdom. the humor of the topic “having children is like living in a frat house - nobody...

Parenting Wisdom

The humor of the topic“Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.”

Ray Romano

The honor of the topic“Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation ”

C. Everett Koop

The BREVITY OF THE JOB“…kids don't stay with you if you do it right. It's the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won't be needed in the long run.”

Barbara Kingsolver

The terror of the topic

“Parenting is the greatest single preserve of the amateur.”

Alvin Toffler

Wisdom… which includes...

• Discernment• Character• Knowledge• SkillThe unwise…

Naïve Youth, Mocker, The Fool

Refresher: what proverbs is all about

Refresher: What proverbs is all aboutProverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

What’s YOUR purpose (for your child)?• To Trust Christ• What else (be honest)?

What’s PROVERBS’ purpose for parenting?

Parenting’s purpose

Parenting’s purposeProverbs 2:1-5 “My son, if you will receive my words and treasure my commandments within you, make your ear attentive to wisdom and incline your heart to understanding; for if you cry for discernment and lift your voice for understanding…

Parenting’s purposeProverbs 2:1-6ff “…if you seek for her as for hidden treasures; then you will discern the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom...”

What’s YOUR purpose (for your child)? • To Trust Christ• What else (be honest)?

What’s PROVERBS’ purpose for parenting?

True to itself, Proverbs’ goal is WISDOM

which is solidly grounded in knowing HIM

Parenting’s purpose

Roadblocks to Wisdom• Every “new model” has a defect– sin

Genesis 8:21“…for the intent of a man’s heart is evil from his youth…”Jeremiah 17:9“The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick…”

Roadblocks to Wisdom• Each child comes with a flaw – sin• Their natural bent is toward

foolishness

Proverbs 22:15“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child…”

Roadblocks to Wisdom• Each child comes with a flaw – sin• Their natural bent is toward

foolishness• And…Left to themselves, they get

worse!

Proverbs 29:15“…a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.”

Proverbs 22:15“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child…

…the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.”

Proverbs’ way to wisdom:

DISCIPLINE

Proverbs’ way to wisdom:

Where it begins...• Faith in Christ, Power of the Holy

Spirit• Parent on Purpose –

Learn, decide, agree & stick with it

Proverbs’ way to wisdom: discipline

Dissecting Discipline – Three Intensifying Stages…

• Instruction/Knowledge/The Word• Warning/Exhortation/Rebuke• Punishment/Chastisement


Instruction (Knowledge/The Word)

Proverbs 1:8-9“Hear, my son, your father’s discipline and do not forsake your mother’s instruction, for they are a graceful wreath upon your head and ornaments around your neck.”

3 facets of discipline

Instruction (Knowledge/The Word)

Proverbs 4:1“Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding, for I give you sound teaching; do not abandon my instruction.”


Instruction (Knowledge/The Word)Warning (Exhortation/Rebuke)

Proverbs 3:12“…a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”



Proverbs 4:26-27“Watch the path of your feet…do not turn to the right or to the left…”



Proverbs 24:25“…but to those who rebuke the wicked will be delight, and a good blessing will come upon them.”


Instruction (Knowledge/The Word)Warning (Exhortation/Rebuke)Chastening (Punishment)

Proverbs 13:24“He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”



Proverbs 23:13-14“Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall…rescue his soul from Sheol.”



Proverbs 29:15The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.


More about Punishment...• Love as the Foundation

Proverbs 3:12“…a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”


More about Punishment...• Love as the Foundation

Proverbs 3:12“For whom the Lord loves, He chastens, as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”


More about Punishment...• Love as the Foundation• Consequential – makes an impact• Consequences: Natural and

“Created”-Match the offense, match the

child• “Non-Corporal” – Consistent &

creative• Corporal


Proverbs’ way to wisdom: disciplineProverbs 13:24He who withholds his rod, hates his son, but he who loves him, disciplines him diligently.

Proverbs’ way to wisdom: disciplineEgyptian Proverb“Boys have their ears in their backsides; they listen when they are beaten.”

A few words to those who do and those who don’t…


Cultivating wisdom with discipline• Your Child’s (and YOUR) Faith in Christ

• Grace and Discipline

• Pointers from Parents on Discipline

From some of grace’s parents…People are more important than things. We buy memories, not stuff.We discipline quickly, and forgive immediately when asked. No keeping accounts.

From some of grace’s parents…We strive to parent FIRST from the positive. In other words, instead of emphasizing our opposition to negative behavior, we talk (and train) proactively toward the positive behavior we desire to see. You can’t do this re-actively. We even keep a list on the fridge that reminds us of the positives which counteract the negatives.

From some of grace’s parents…The single most important thing a father can do to turn his children's heart toward Christ is to sincerely loves Christ himself and to communicate that consistently both in and outside the home. The thing that can turn a child's heart away from Christ the most is to see his father appear to follow God in front of others but not at home.

From some of grace’s parents…"There are, of course, many factors that contribute to good parenting such as conveying unconditional love, providing quality time and setting a good example, particularly in the husband-wife relationship. But one of the most important is to establish and maintain control.

From some of grace’s parents…In the final analysis this is achieved through discipline as clearly taught in the Proverbs. We have found that authority must be established early, preferably before the child is five; however, it will continue through the early years of childhood. Proverbs 19:8 clearly implies that such discipline should not be delayed.

From some of grace’s parents…Although the discipline may be difficult for both the child and the parent, the rewards are great. This proverb states that failure to train the child could result in premature death. More generally, discipline will result in comfort/rest and delight to your soul (29:17), as well as joy and pleasure (23:24,25). God has graciously blessed us through our children."

What do we do with all this?1. Pray!2. Begin Today: Lavish, Unconditional

Love3. Agree Soon: Your goal(s), your

standards4. Keep Going: Consistent love &

discipline5. Past Mistakes? – Time to step up!• Seek and model forgiveness• Begin to talk about discipline, new

norm• Do 1-4 above

What do we do with all this?5. KIDS – work with us – it’s good for you!

Proverbs 20:20He who curses his father or mother, his lamp will go out in time of darkness.


Proverbs 2:4-5…if you seek (wisdom) as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; then you will discern the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God.


Ephesians 6:1-3Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your Father and Mother (which is the first commandment with a promise) so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”

What do we do now?6. Parent in Community!

-Look for “Parenting with Grace”-Are you in a small group?

Home Groups, Sunday Morning Groups, First Call, Mom to MomReception TODAY – between services…

grace-bible.org/resources

Grace Bible Church App

Resources

parenting wisdom. the humor of the topic “having children is like living in a frat house - nobody...

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