Parenting Through CrisisParenting Through Crisis

The EventThe Event

Produces fear or occurrence to the risk of life/injury. Produces fear or occurrence to the risk of life/injury. -This activates the stress response-This activates the stress response

Disrupts levels of communication.Disrupts levels of communication. -Inability to communicate safety and/or support prolongs the stress -Inability to communicate safety and/or support prolongs the stress

response.response.

Your child is in proximity of the event.Your child is in proximity of the event. -Involved, nearby, brushes with, knowledge of.-Involved, nearby, brushes with, knowledge of.

Your child has a relationship with those affected by the Your child has a relationship with those affected by the event.event.

-Level of connection ranging from close to acquaintance, seen before, -Level of connection ranging from close to acquaintance, seen before, same age, knew of, etc.same age, knew of, etc.

The event encapsulates your child’s environment.The event encapsulates your child’s environment. - The entire school is damaged or threatened.- The entire school is damaged or threatened.

What is Critical Incident What is Critical Incident Stress?Stress?

A natural reaction of a normal A natural reaction of a normal person to an abnormal event. person to an abnormal event.

Such an extraordinary event can Such an extraordinary event can produce physical, emotional, produce physical, emotional,

cognitive and behavioral cognitive and behavioral responses immediately or responses immediately or

delayed.delayed.

ParentsParents

News of event activates the perception of News of event activates the perception of child being at riskchild being at risk

Inability to communicate heightens stressInability to communicate heightens stress

Lack of information heightens stress.Lack of information heightens stress.

= Increase sense of helplessness= Increase sense of helplessness

Only until safety is perceived, the stress Only until safety is perceived, the stress response remains activated.response remains activated.

After the EventAfter the Event

Physical safety and order being restored.Physical safety and order being restored.

Stress response deactivatedStress response deactivated

Find a way to attend to your reactions as Find a way to attend to your reactions as the child will take cues from you.the child will take cues from you.

Children’s CIS ReactionsChildren’s CIS Reactions

Based on Developmental AgeBased on Developmental Age

Preschool ages 1-5Preschool ages 1-5

Elementary School 6-11Elementary School 6-11

Middle School 12-14Middle School 12-14

High School 15-18High School 15-18

Preschool 1-5Preschool 1-5

Developmental MilestonesDevelopmental MilestonesAttachment, bondingAttachment, bondingExploring- mobile, testing new boundariesExploring- mobile, testing new boundariesSecurity- maintain safe home base, receives reassurance to Security- maintain safe home base, receives reassurance to separateseparate

Disrupting EventDisrupting EventChild displays regressive behaviorsChild displays regressive behaviorsIncrease clinging, thumb sucking, potty trouble, sleep disruptionIncrease clinging, thumb sucking, potty trouble, sleep disruption

Healthy ResponsesHealthy ResponsesDoses of love, affection, attention and reassuranceDoses of love, affection, attention and reassuranceReturn to routineReturn to routineDo not watch news coverage on TV with child in roomDo not watch news coverage on TV with child in room

Elementary School 6-11Elementary School 6-11Developmental challengesDevelopmental challenges

Managed separation from homeManaged separation from homeSelf esteem and confidenceSelf esteem and confidenceRole and fantasy playRole and fantasy playInquisitiveInquisitiveSibling rivalrySibling rivalry

Disrupting EventDisrupting EventFantasy/realty blurredFantasy/realty blurredAffect and emotions out of sync (excited to see a fire truck)Affect and emotions out of sync (excited to see a fire truck)Loss of contact with outside world and structureLoss of contact with outside world and structureRegressive behavior- same as preschool behaviors plus aggressiveness with Regressive behavior- same as preschool behaviors plus aggressiveness with siblings, impulsive, isolation and self absorptionsiblings, impulsive, isolation and self absorption

Healthy ResponsesHealthy ResponsesReturn to routine and structureReturn to routine and structureDaily discussions to intercept and clarify child distortions of the eventDaily discussions to intercept and clarify child distortions of the eventReturn to playReturn to playContact school to understand how they will address the event.Contact school to understand how they will address the event.Hugs and reassurances.Hugs and reassurances.

Middle School 12-14Middle School 12-14Developmental ChallengesDevelopmental Challenges

Transitional periodTransitional periodThe height of awkwardnessThe height of awkwardnessPeer group and the opposite sexPeer group and the opposite sexEmergence of personalityEmergence of personality

Disrupting EventDisrupting EventStruggle with getting back in the flow of their busy scheduleStruggle with getting back in the flow of their busy scheduleResistivenessResistivenessDecline in school performanceDecline in school performanceLoss of interest in activitiesLoss of interest in activities

Healthy ResponsesHealthy ResponsesRespond with the inclusion of family and friendsRespond with the inclusion of family and friendsRevisit history of positive experiencesRevisit history of positive experiencesReassurance that things will be okReassurance that things will be okContact schoolContact schoolHugsHugs

High School 14-18High School 14-18Developmental ChallengesDevelopmental Challenges

Peer acceptancePeer acceptanceSeparation/IndividuationSeparation/IndividuationLimit testingLimit testingIdentity formationIdentity formation

Disrupting EventDisrupting EventEmotional intensity and swingsEmotional intensity and swingsDenial of its impact/terribly frightened insideDenial of its impact/terribly frightened insideMore rebellious or isolativeMore rebellious or isolativeSomatic complaintsSomatic complaintsSubstance AbuseSubstance AbuseLife changing decisions (not going to college)Life changing decisions (not going to college)

Healthy ResponsesHealthy ResponsesCreate or identify safe havens (at home, school counselor, drop-in centers)Create or identify safe havens (at home, school counselor, drop-in centers)Support positive peer movement (rally)Support positive peer movement (rally)Return to routine.Return to routine.Delay life changing decisionsDelay life changing decisionsRespect teens need to self workRespect teens need to self workHugs if the let you, Listen if they’ll speak to youHugs if the let you, Listen if they’ll speak to you

SummationSummation

Remember reactions to traumatic events are Remember reactions to traumatic events are normal. It is the event that is abnormal.normal. It is the event that is abnormal.Tend to your stress responses as well. Children Tend to your stress responses as well. Children will take cues from you.will take cues from you.Understand the developmental challenges of Understand the developmental challenges of your child to identify how your child was affected your child to identify how your child was affected and the return to routine.and the return to routine.Contact school to understand their approach to Contact school to understand their approach to the event.the event.Seek professional assistance if symptoms or Seek professional assistance if symptoms or behaviors do not return to their pre-event behaviors do not return to their pre-event function.function.