parenting the personality styles

The uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us Parent’s How-To Guide To Understanding Little Humans

�2

Copyright © 2015 Ashley Logsdon

All rights reserved

I would like to give a whole heap of thanks and credit to the amazing Deb Ingino with www.StrengthLeader.com©. She was the original creator of these materials, and is THE go-to person for understanding personality styles and leadership!

"Whether you're an established or an aspiring leader, you can move into a higher level of performance by leading with your strengths."

www.StrengthLeader.com

Also, my dear friend Jill Davis and her www.TheWorkshopBox.com© materials. I have learned a ton going through her DISC Deep Dive, and if you are looking to teach on DISC, she will equip you with all you need!

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the publisher. Permission to quote brief excerpts for review purposed is granted without further permission when accompanied by publication data: Children’s Natural

Behavior Style Assessment Kit, © 2015 by Ashley Logsdon

Disclaimer: The purpose of this book is to provide information regarding interpersonal relationships. It is not meant to replace professional counseling for emotional or psychological disturbances. If you are looking for a deeper dive into the profiles and coaching for your family on how to utilize these tools, please check out Mama Says Namaste Coaching and find a package that is right for you!

http://www.strengthleader.com/

http://www.askjilldavis.com

http://www.TheWorkshopBox.com

http://livepage.apple.com/


Table of Contents

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

•

•

•

•

•

10.

�4


You may wonder, Why is my child so shy? or Why is my child so bold and bull-headed? We ask ourselves why one child thrives in the spotlight while the other one becomes a holy terror whenever you are in a social setting.

My experience has shown that many successful people in business and in the arts are not always the ones with the most experience or the best education -

We are each wired to have the capacity to build a successful future if we develop and nurture our strengths. The information I share with you in this booklet will provide insights to not only identify how you are wired, but how to understand the beautiful soul in your child as well.

We’ll explore the differences in how we are each wired and the corresponding strengths and motivations. For example, I love knowing what all is going on in my life, my husband’s life, and all of my girls’ lives - you can call it love and interest or control and management. It’s two different perspectives, and my goal is to bring out the beautiful gifts of personality styles to help you see the wonders and not simply the weaknesses. I’ll show you the benefits and challenges in my own personality style and how, with a proper dose of perspective and grace, you can embrace your strengths and temper the weaker aspects.

�5


You may want a little background on what qualifies me to write on this topic. My experience with DISC Personality styles specifically has been since my childhood. Growing up in a family of entrepreneurs, being homeschooled for a large part of my childhood, and having parents that always involved us in anything they were doing really gave me a rich experience in learning alongside them as they built their businesses.

My father, Dan Miller, is a career coach and author of many books like 48 Days To The Work You Love, No More Dreaded Mondays and Wisdom Meets Passion. His podcast, website and online community get tons of traffic, and his best-selling product is the 48 Days Personality Profile. A key component in all of his coaching and in his books, is the way to truly find work you love you must look at your a) Skills and Abilities, b) Values, Dreams and Passions, and c) Personality Style.

I’ve been working in my father’s business (www.48Days.com) for over a decade, and my primary focus has been in developing and coaching on these personality styles and how to utilize them with our clients. My background degrees of Psychology and American Sign Language Interpreting have also had an added impact in my ability to interpret the intention behind the actions and relate those based on the personality style of each person.

As part of my homeschooling classes, I wrote on the subject of personality styles and started speaking about this topic at a young age. I’ve spoken at ladies’ luncheons, coaching events, and to State Farm agents on how using these profiles for hiring and sales can increase profits and interpersonal relationships.

�6

http://www.48days.com/?ap_id=NamasteMamaRose

http://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/product/personality-profiles/

http://www.48days.com/?ap_id=NamasteMamaRose


I started babysitting as a “mother’s helper” when I was merely seven years old. All through my tween and teen years I nannied and babysat for families with children of all ages. I remember “back in the old days” watching four children twice a week when I was only 12. For $2.50 an hour! Times have changed quite a bit, and the experiences I had from these and my years as a preschool teacher in my early twenties definitely equipped me with a broad range of experience with children of all ages and abilities.

I worked with infants, multiples, and various ethnicities. I remember watching a whole roomful of Kurdish children while their mothers learned English. None of the children spoke English - talk about communication barriers! I have worked with autistic spectrum children, deaf/hard-of-hearing children, and many others with a variety of differences that made them beautifully unique.

My husband and I knew personality styles (he jokes how he had to take a profile to pass my parent’s approval) and we were preschool teachers together. We had this “kid thing” down pat…

And then we had our own children.

We learned that no amount of education or previous experience with other kids means you have it all figured out. Now WE were the ones deciding on discipline, health, education and more for our kids. Now WE had to call the shots and determine how to do this together as a team, with each child throwing different curveballs into the mix.

�7


Now we are nine years into this parenting thing. We are twelve years into this marriage thing. And we have much, much more to learn. Yet I feel the insights we’ve gained through the first decade are valuable enough to inspire, encourage, motivate and help others who are starting out. Maybe you are brand new to parenting, or maybe you’re a bit down the road. No matter where you are, understanding a child’s personality as they grow and develop will get you lightyears further in your connection and ability to communicate than if you try to do it without this resource. If you get through this eBook and want to go even further, check out our coaching packages.

I’ve given you insight into why and how I know the material in this eBook. I feel like this has incredible value in getting to know yourself, your spouse, and ultimately, your children. AND, I will be the first to tell you that this is not a cure-all. This is not the one solution that will take your family dynamics and transform them to June Cleaver’s happy perfect world.

Parenting is hard work. It’s draining and demanding and constantly changing. What worked last week may not work this week. Teething, growth spurts, hormones, etc can transform what you thought you knew about your child into a whole other beast altogether.

Use this book as one of many resources. This is not your “holy grail”; it’s your “flashlight in the toolbox” of parenting.

�8

http://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/coaching/


�9


One last thing before we dive in. This is one of my favorite poems, and is brilliantly sung in Natalie Merchant’s “Leave Your Sleep” album (you’ll find this and all kinds of great music/book suggestions in my recommended resources on my site). Think about this poem on the next page as you consider how we all view things from a different perspective. Remember that what is real, certain, and the truth in your own mind is still slanted by your personal perspective. Each of us brings so much that is unique about our own brains and emotions. How can we discount perspective when it comes to what is “right?”

The next time you are in a battle with a family member, think about this poem, and ask yourself: What Is My Goal?

When my oldest daughter turned four, we did the obligatory big birthday bash and invited all her “friends” from preschool. All was well and good at first, but an hour and a half into the party it was clear Clara was dun. The wild kids playing with all her precious possessions, the sugar overload that had hit her, and the fact that she didn’t even care about these people or know their names, (even after spending a whole year with them in her class)… it sent her over the edge. After a tantrum of all tantrums, we shut down the party and at 7pm Clara passed out in her bed immediately.

Her two-year-old sister, however, appeared to have just gotten an adrenaline rush. She was high on life and ready to party! After the excitement of all the kids, she was so wired, she literally stayed up in her crib, singing and playing, until 10pm that night. Talk about two extremes to the same party!

�10

http://astore.amazon.com/mamsaynam-20/detail/B002ZCDR88

http://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/we-likes-the-links/

http://www.48days.net/forum/topics/what-is-your-goal


As a parent like you, I want my children to thrive. I want to see that sparkle in their eyes that says they are happy and loving life. I dream of their future - not pigeon-holing them into a profession, but just them being the world-changers they already are… and watching how that will develop. I dream of these beautiful little world changers who will make a positive impact on everyone they meet.

Have you had those moments of frustration, where all you see is the extreme perfectionism, the high energy that turns to pushing your buttons, or the extreme sensitivity (not like I’m talking from personal experience, of course) - and you get hit with the nagging fear they won’t make a positive impact but will send people running instead!

I’m not the perfect parent. I get things wrong, I lose my cool, and I have insecurities about whether I’m doing the right thing for my girls. A wise sage of mine once told me, “The best way to be there for your daughter is to meet her where she’s at.” This was so powerful to me, as I had often found myself enforcing my point of view, when, in my daughter’s 5-year-old perspective, my viewpoint was lightyears away.

�11

http://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/how-to-be-the-perfect-parent/


When I take into account each child’s personality style, my ability to connect and meet them where they are is so much easier. When I engage successfully with one of my daughters now, I can see the sparkle of connection in her eyes, and in my heart I feel a resounding “YES!” What I see is “Yes! You get me!” and what I feel is “Yes, I understand you, and yes, this is working!”

My website is “Mama Says Namaste” for a reason. Namaste. Sweet Namaste. This is my most favorite word. This is a common salutation in places like India and Nepal - why would "hi" be so important? Namaste isn't just a casual word for an informal greeting, like "hello" and "hi" in the USA. Namaste takes us beyond an initial greeting to a deeper meaning.

There are many variations of what "Namaste" really means, but the essence is "the peace within my soul recognizes the peace within yours." Wouldn’t it be nice if Americans greeted one another in such a meaningful way?

�12

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Namaste


If you've ever watched the movie Avatar, you may remember their greeting of "I see you." It is that deeper recognition - seeing into the heart and soul of someone and finding a deeper connection. We all long for "namaste" in relationships - that connection to the innermost peace in each other that transcends all surface talk, misunderstanding and hurt and that simply connects to the core of humanity and spiritual awakening.

In my many years of experience working with individuals and organizations, I have seen a common denominator in successful businesses and relationships. When people understand their personality style and lean into their own natural strengths, amazing results occur, and they begin to better understand their children at a deeper level. This insight will help you recognize and unlock your child’s wiring, needs, motivations and strengths. You will learn the most effective method to connect with your children in their sweet spots, and in a way that gives each of you that

exhilarating affirmation of “yes, I you!”

In this book, I want to share a methodology of looking at behavior that has been used with much success for decades. I’ll provide you with resources to identify your personality wiring and your child’s, and the best motivational strategies you can use to connect with your children in that sweet spot each time you communicate with them. You’ll learn how to identify and nurture their strengths and know the areas where they are challenged so that, as a parent, you can help them to stretch beyond their wired comfort zone in a loving and nurturing way, preparing them for their future success.

�13


So to you! Let’s get into the adventure of finding peace, love and light within our own souls, and then discovering it in our spouse and children!

�14


The history of disc Depending on your experience and age, when you hear the word “disc,” you may think of anything from a compact disc to a slipped disc. (It’s still so crazy to me that our grandchildren may not even know what a CD is, and that wasn’t even developed until I was old enough to remember it! But, I digress...)

The DISC we will be discussing is the four quadrant behavioral model based on the work of William Moulton Marston, Ph.D. (1893-1947) which he developed to examine the behavior of individuals in their environment or within a specific situation. DISC looks at an individuals’ behavioral styles and behavioral preferences. This is not to label people or put them in a category but rather to build a bridge to understanding strengths, needs, motivations and ultimately improved relationship.

Marston completed his doctoral studies at Harvard in the (then) newly developing field of psychology. In the early 1920s, Marston first studied the concepts of will and power and looked at their effects on personality and human behavior. These findings contributed greatly to subsequent work in the field of psychology. Although he wrote about DISC four years earlier, it was first really addressed in his book Emotions of Normal People, published in 1928.

Today we use DISC assessments to identify predictable patterns of behavior and specific personality wiring or styles. By learning how we are wired, we can better understand how to communicate with them, motivate others, including our family members, and interact more successfully with the world around us.

�15


Understanding DISC gives us a vocabulary to explain and relate to one another. It does not give a label or excuse for behavior. We are not all Popeye the Sailor-man screaming “I am what I am”; we can recognize our core tendencies while adapting to the personality styles around us to effectively communicate.

Used successfully in business training and hiring for decades, this is especially important in better negotiating the relationships we have with our children. By understanding their styles we can move away from potentially caustic situations where we deflate their self-esteem, and head instead into the sweet spot of relationship connection, where we are able to communicate in ways that encourage our children to do the right thing, and in ways that provide them feelings of fulfillment, building healthy self-esteem along the way. After all, isn’t that what we really want for our children?

Each one of these personality styles is unique, and with it, you will see how there are strengths and weaknesses in every quadrant. We all have elements of every personality style, and there are many other factors that are going to play a role in who we are, like birth order, gender, childhood and adult life experiences, societal/cultural expectations, etc.

�16


Like a rainbow that has seven key colors, there are thousands of other shades of those seven, and they all are a blend of more than one color. These other factors, plus the four personality styles, are all going to blend to create your unique color that will be represented somewhere on the spectrum.

This is not a cookie cutter definition of you or your child. This is not something most people will fit into perfectly. Typically, however, you will find one or two of the personality styles that really resonate with you. The point of taking a personality profile is to give you something tangible to look at for introspection. It gives you insights you will agree with or you won’t - and either way, it’s right. Simply opening yourself up to ask “is this really true” is a powerful step toward understand how you are wired and why you react the way you do. There is no right or wrong. Every unique style is needed on this earth for proper functionality and interaction.

For more on the history of DISC, check out this blog post

�17

http://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/personality-styles-101/


Outgoing or reserved: the basic stereotype

Let’s begin with some basics. There are several areas of personality where easily observed differences fit into the DISC model.

How do we greet the world? Fundamentally, each of us is either outgoing or reserved.

We are either okay with speaking up, or we’d rather remain a little more in the background.

Which are you - outgoing or reserved? Do you enjoy meeting new people? Do you sometimes initiate conversations with complete strangers while waiting in line or at the elevator? Or, do you prefer to let others do the talking while you listen?

What about your children - do you notice some natural outgoing leanings or some more reserved tendencies?

�18

D I

SC


There is another dimension of behavior we can see. Some of us are task-oriented while some are people-oriented.

Are you the type of person who, above all, enjoys being with other people, or is your preference to get things done, with or without the presence of others?

These observations about task- and people-oriented styles may help you to identify which one is your primary focus.

�19

ID

C S


Task-oriented wiring (D&C styles):

• Task-oriented people are very honest and truthful in their assessments, even if it’s hard to hear.

• They make their decisions based on facts before feelings. • They are more likely to process their emotions inward. • They are brief and to the point when speaking. • They make decisions quickly.

When encouraging a task-oriented child, complimenting them by saying “I love

how you did this project” and focusing on the task accomplished gives them

affirmation.

People-oriented wiring (I&S styles):

• They can be very charismatic and eager to please. • They are very in tune with feelings. • They readily show their emotions. • They crave a harmonious atmosphere. • They like leaving decisions open-ended; in fact, “no decision” is fine with them.

When encouraging a people-oriented child, complimenting them by saying “That

makes me feel so happy/proud/loved” and focusing on the feeling and

relationship gives them affirmation.

�20


Now, within each half of the circle, there is yet another level of definition. In the “outgoing” half of the circle there are some people who are outgoing through their driven nature, and some who are outgoing through their influencing nature.

If you are an outgoing person, when you are in a group, are you more likely to be leading the discussion (a “driven” personality or “D” wiring), or entertaining the group with a story, joke or song (manifesting the “influential” or “I” wiring style)?

�21


Then the other half of the circle, those who tend to be more reserved or laid back, can be divided into two sections again. Of these laid back, more reserved people, some are more supportive and some are more analytical.

When learning a new board game, is your more reserved child likely to be reading all the rules of the game to everyone to ensure their adherence (task-focused C style), or are they likely to be letting everyone choose their order of play while they’re happy to go last (people-focused S style)?

�22


The term DISC is an acronym for:

�23

D

I

S

Driven personality relating to leadership, assertiveness, and accomplishments.

Conscientious personality relating to structure, analysis and organization.

Influential personality relating to social situations, entertainment and communication.

Supportive personality, relating to patience, persistence and thoughtfulness.

C


�24

A Grocery Day By Ashley Miller Logsdon

(Story description of four personality styles)

It’s a beautiful Saturday, and time for the weekly errands and running to the store. Dana is a successful business manager at a large firm she started herself. Her children attend the best schools, but spend a lot of time there, as her job keeps her tied up; managing over 1,000 employees. She is a born leader. Irene, on the other hand, is involved in every PTA meeting at her children’s school and helps to organize fund-raisers and committees for everything from mission trips to cheerleading. She’s the social butterfly…which sometimes means that the actual organization falls through as a result of catching up with the latest gossip! Sarah is Mrs. Suzy Homemaker. She enjoys being a stay-at-home mom, and spends her time with

her family as often as possible, preferring the comfort of family over a large social life. She enjoys being a support and sounding board for her family.

Then we have Charlotte, an accountant before marriage, who is considering going back into the field. She sometimes has difficulty relating to people and is more content to look at the facts and stick to the way things have always been done. Parenting has been difficult for Charlotte, as her two children tend to be spontaneous and unpredictable. She makes lists and gives detailed directions for most situations.

Today is the day that Dana needs to go grocery shopping. She sets aside an hour on Saturdays to get it done. By that time she knows what she needs for the week and has a mission. She steps foot in the grocery store and…she’s off! She goes only to the aisles that have the essentials that she needs, and in less than half an hour she is out the door, groceries in hand and ready to move on to the rest of her agenda.

Irene has also decided to get her shopping done today. As she drives to the store, she calls her closest friend on her cell phone just to chat. She is still chatting away as she walks into Kroger, alert and searching for anyone she may recognize. She gets her shopping done, all the while making new friends and chatting with old ones. She discovers the lady in the produce section just started a potluck club to help out the needy families in the area. After they exchange numbers, she moves along, going up and down each aisle reveling in the knowledge that shopping, for her, is just another vehicle for socialization.

Sarah has taken her girls to the mall for the day, and of course given in to their begging for yet another outfit. After trudging out with arms full of the girls’ “must haves” she states that she needs to just “run in to Harris Teeter for a few things.” Her girls wait in the car, and she takes her list of five items into the store. As she walks in the entry, she notices little mini roses on sale, and remembers how much her oldest daughter loves them. She puts them in her cart, only to spy a sale on strawberries, her husband’s favorite. As she strolls down the aisles, she concocts a meal for every item she finds, thinking how much her family will love this or that and spying a cake that would be a great gift for the dear elderly couple down the street.

Forty-five minutes later, she rushes out to the car with a cart full of groceries, apologizing to her daughters for taking so long. They just look at each other knowingly, because they’re used to her remembering “just one more thing.”

Charlotte has planned since Monday that she needs to go to the store on Saturday at 11:30 to get the shopping done. Since then, she has made a list of exactly what she needs in each section, from Kraft Macaroni & Cheese to Grade A Large Brown Eggs. She has written down which brand is the best to get and goes with a plan in mind. She shops very carefully, paying attention to what is on sale, and what may be a better priced item so that she can note it for next time. As she comes out of the store, she feels confident that she has saved money, but wishes she had been a little faster, as she is now running late.

Here are four women with very different approaches to a simple task. They are the extremes of D, I, S, and C and are easy to identify. Each one of us may actually combine some of these characteristics, which helps to make us unique and gives us our own style. The key is realizing your own personality and that of others; to understand not only how people differ, but how grateful we are that they do!


D Wiring - People who score high in the intensity of the “D” styles factor take a very active stance in dealing with problems and challenges. Not afraid of confrontation, Ds are described as a born leader, independent and self sufficient, goal-oriented, “big picture” visionary, fast-paced and decisive.

I Wiring - People with high “I” scores influence others through their gift of entertainment. They are engaging storytellers and the life of the party. They are described as charismatic, magnetic, enthusiastic, persuasive, warm, demonstrative, trusting and optimistic.

S Wiring - People with high “S” scores are slower-paced, more easygoing, and are excellent listeners. High S people are supportive, calm, relaxed, patient, predictable, deliberate, stable and consistent.

C Wiring - People with high “C” styles are highly logical and love facts and statistics. They adhere to rules, regulations and structure. They like to do quality work and do it right the first time. High C people are analytical, careful, cautious, exacting, neat, systematic, diplomatic, accurate and detailed.

�25

As a child, I had a whole variety of educational experiences. At various points I was homeschooled, and growing up in an entrepreneurial family, this meant I was very

involved in learning about the family business (www.48Days.com) at an early age. By the time I was ten, I knew DISC like the back of my hand and loved to discuss

behavior and personality styles. When I was twelve years old I wrote this story to explain the different personality styles.

https://store.48days.com/?orid=18675&opid=2

https://store.48days.com/?orid=18675&opid=2


Each of the ladies in the previous story approached a common task in a very different way and with a different perspective. Sarah’s daughters could have easily been upset for her taking so long - seeing things from only their perspective indicates a mother who didn’t respect their time. However, that mindset can really limit your connection to others.

Sometimes, we limit our thinking to just how it affects us and we miss out on looking at the collaboration of

life.

In life, just as in business, we need to move away from the limiting view of “me” and move into the growth view of “we” to reach real success. Being able to appreciate and collaborate with people of all different personality styles provides us and our children the foundation needed for future success through the development of authentic soft skills.

�26


Identify and Connect with Your Child’s DISC Style

Looking at parents’ interactions with our children through the lens of DISC offers a way to improve relationships, reduce conflict, and ultimately, find ways to appreciate our children more, support their natural strengths and find ways to help them stretch past those situations which have caused them conflict in the past.

Before I give you the three keys to connecting with your child’s personality type, let me give you a little background about why I believe DISC is so useful.

I have always been fascinated by communication and how people do it effectively, and that is what led me to get two degrees in two seemingly random areas; Psychology and American Sign Language Interpreting. Yet what a powerful way to study both the mind and nature of people, and then determine how to communicate in an effective way!

As an interpreter between two languages, you cannot always translate something literally - you have to understand the nuance and the idea behind the concept and then translate in a way that makes sense to the native language. Cliches and colloquialisms don’t always make sense in a different language, and not only do you have to keep in mind what makes sense, but you have to take into account cultural differences. The Deaf culture has its own colloquialisms and culture even within their country of origin. You have a culture within a culture, and you have to take that into account when interpreting.

�27


We all have our own perspective on the world and the culture based on the location where we live..and then we have another culture within our family dynamics. Each affects the way we interpret the world. Understanding the different personality styles is an incredibly powerful way to decipher the best way to interpret or convey a message to someone.

In my family, my high D personality often makes me the go-to person to get things done. I can focus on the end-result and will make sure things are accomplished. Time to clean the house? Let’s blast through this - each person take a room, do this, do that, set the timer and boom, the house is spotless. I am the advice-giver, delegator and finalizer to ensure our goals are met; the ultimate task-master.

My high-I husband will get lost in imaginative play with the girls, creating forts and inventing stories and songs that take them off to all sorts of adventures. The girls love to play, and Daddy is the master of it; the ultimate entertainer and charmer.

My high S daughters are the little sweethearts- anytime someone is hurt, they are the first to provide comfort, get an ice-pack, and shower booboos with kisses. Highly sensitive, even my 6-year-old will tear up at an emotional movie and my 3-year-old is quick to let me know when “you hurt my heart!” Thankfully, that same tenderness shows grace and love and relationships trump any injustice of the moment.

�28


My high C daughter has no shyness whatsoever and comfortably speaks to anyone. Yet I recognize her need for alone time in a completely different way than with my other two. For her, a “time-out” is a reward. It’s a way to recharge, and a time for her to focus on tasks that are important to her. As an artist, her drawings are far from abstract and broad. They are detailed down to the tiniest dot, and she will happily spend a full day in her room drawing every single detail on one elaborate picture.

To provide your child with a foundation for future success, it is important that we, as parents, discover and nurture their strengths. To do this successfully, parents need to discover their wired style, their child’s wired style, and learn the “sweet spot” of communications with their children.

In a moment we’ll begin exploring how you can identify those personality styles. But first, let me explain about the sweet spot.

I am a yogi and absolutely love my yoga studio. In my practice, the goal is to find that quake and tremble in a pose - right before the point where you fall out. This is that “sweet spot” where you are pushed to a challenge but not to the extent of failing it. You find the perfect balance between challenge and ease to create a clear focus and further your practice.

�29


The same is true for the sweet spot of communication. We can rant and rave, pressure and cajole, and still not get the result we want. We can shut down and withdraw, but that doesn’t bring anyone closer together. What we need is that perfect balance between communicating the feelings that are within us in a way that another truly understands and can relate to.

Let’s begin with identifying your wired style. You are central to all the relationships within your family. Better understanding of your own style will help you relate with your child and the others in your life in a more productive way. If we parents don’t understand specifically why our children act the way they do and why we respond the way we do, then not only are we constantly speculating, but it’s harder to change things for the better.

Here is a quick and easy way to identify your personality style.

Check off the box for the the word that describes you most (one check per line). Don’t make any judgements of the word. If you feel that two are very close, then choose the one that best describes you when you are under pressure. (the faster you move through this, the more you answer with your first gut response vs. overanalyzing) Add up your checkmarks in each column and write in those results in the corresponding total for each column.

�30


1 Adventurous Animated Adaptable Analytical

2 Persuasive Playful Peaceful Persistent

3 Strong-willed Sociable Submissive Self-sacrificing

4 Competitive Convincing Controlled Considerate

5 Resourceful Refreshing Reserved Respectful

6 Self-reliant Spirited Satisfied Sensitive

7 Positive Promoter Patient Planner

8 Sure Spontaneous Shy Scheduled

9 Outspoken Optimistic Obliging Orderly

10 Forceful Funny Friendly Faithful

11 Daring Delightful Diplomatic Detailed

12 Confident Cheerful Consistent Cultured

13 Independent Inspiring Inoffensive Idealistic

14 Decisive Demonstrative Dry Humor Deep

15 Mover Mixes Easy Mediator Musical

16 Tenacious Talker Tolerant Thoughtful

17 Leader Lively Listener Loyal

18 Chief Cute Contented Chart Maker

19 Productive Popular Pleasant Perfectionist

20 Bold Bouncy Balanced Behaved

21 Bossy Brassy Blank Bashful

22 Unsympathetic Undisciplined Unenthusiastic Unforgiving

23 Resistant Repetitious Reticent Resentful

�31


My Highest Score: _______________________

My 2nd Highest Score: _________________________

24 Frank Forgetful Fearful Fussy

25 Impatient Interrupts Indecisive Insecure

26 Unaffectionate Unpredictable Uninvolved Unpopular

27 Headstrong Haphazard Hesitant Hard to Please

28 Proud Permissive Plain Pessimistic

29 Argumentative Angered Easily Aimless Alienated

30 Nervy Naïve Nonchalant Negative Tendency

31 Workaholic Wants Credit Worrier Withdrawn

32 Tactless Talkative Timid Too Sensitive

33 Domineering Disorganized Doubtful Depressed

34 Intolerant Inconsistent Indifferent Introvert

35 Manipulative Messy Mumbles Moody

36 Stubborn Show-off Slow Skeptical

37 Tries to rule over others

Loud Lazy Loner

38 Short-Tempered

Scatterbrained Sluggish Suspicious

39 Rash Restless Reluctant Revengeful

40 Crafty Changeable Compromising Critical

total

�32

D I S C


Now that you have completed the quick assessment, if it leaves you begging for more, be sure to check out the Mama Says Namaste Personality Profile here. You’ll get an in-depth report of 25+ pages on your specific personality style, along with a video from me going into the fears and gifts of each style. This extensive report includes a very detailed description of your personal style, the keys to understanding your motivation and your leadership strengths, exercises to help you understand your style further, and additional communication tips.

Now, let’s move on to your child! Many children (typically by reading age) really enjoy learning about the personality types and are quite engaged to do it themselves.

If the score is very high in one particular area, then the child’s personality could be viewed primarily as this style. For example, if the D score is an 18 then you can focus your reading on the D section to learn the most about your child. However, if there are several scores not too distant from each other, then your child is a style blend and you should look at each of the styles that are highest.

That being said, having a clear understanding of all the styles is vital in connecting and relating not only to your child, but to everyone you meet! Think of your children’s friends as well - and how much easier it will be to relate if you can pinpoint the different personalities that come through your door!

Now, let’s get a feel for your child’s personality style - once we have both of these, we can get more focused on their unique style and how it relates to yours!

�33



Read each sentence and put an X in front of the statement that best describes your child. Then add up the Xs in each column and write in your total.

My Child’s Highest Score: _______________________ My Child’s 2nd Highest Score: ________________________

�34

D I S C


Now that you have identified your and your child’s style, let’s talk about each of the personality styles in action.

�35


The “D” Style

The “D” Personality style definitely portrays a born leader. Independent and self-sufficient, they are visionaries who see the whole picture and are ready to take action and get to the goal! They are the movers and shakers. Ds are more inclined to try to solve a problem through action rather than trying to have a lot of conversation about it. They love the end result, so sometimes they are more inclined to “cut to the chase” than address the emotions going on. Being a D myself, when my husband comes home and says he doesn’t feel well, my natural inclination is to simply say “change your mindset and keep on going”. Florence Nightingale was definitely not a D!

That being said, this isn’t a negative - it’s simply one type of personality style! Each style has amazing strengths that are unique to that style. However the biggest thing to be aware of is:

Any strength, when under pressure, can become a weakness

�36


Ds are assertive and dynamic leaders. They have a flair for the dramatic. A high D can be confrontational and blunt, which makes an authoritarian role easy for them to step into. A male can get away with being the “boss man” who tells it like it is, yet we put a woman in the same role and she unfortunately gets placed more in the role of a lady that starts with a “B” instead of a “D”!

When my husband and I were working in my father’s business, he would joke about how he would sit out of “firing range” when we would do meetings with Dad - another high D. Dad and I can fire back and forth with extreme bluntness and be perfectly okay with it. For my mother and my husband, it can sound like a war zone, but for us we are simply communicating succinctly.

Ds tend to be dictators. They want to be in charge - no, they must be in charge! If they are in the house, they need to set the rules; if they are on the team, they need to be captain; and in the office, they aspire to be the leader whether they are qualified or not. Knowing their need for control, this is a perfect opportunity to turn the “dictator” into the positive “director” - look for ways where D children can have control, lead positively, and change from being bossy to effective leadership while taking the feelings of others into account.

�37

At our “Coaching with Excellence” events with 48Days, I speak on DISC styles and how to

communicate effectively with coaching clients.


Ds can be quite dogmatic. They identify their position on an issue and can stubbornly stick to it. They are determined and demanding. Tell your D child “no” and what they hear instead is “ask me again later.” A four-year-old is not trying to be rebellious, but rather is driven to get her vision fulfilled because she is so confident in her position that she is sure we are wrong!

Ds need to be busy with a job, and whether they are in charge of something or someone, as long as they have something that they hold responsibility for, they are happy. Remember that when you are doling out chores in your house - children thrive on feeling involved, and giving them responsibilities help them feel like an important part of the family team. A high D child is not only going to thrive with responsibility (no matter how small), but they may create it into a role much grander than simply sweeping the floor. Before you know it, you may have a floor that is swept, mopped, and furniture moved around for a new look!

Ds are optimistic dreamers - they are sure the next one is the big one! The next toy, girlfriend, job...they have a tendency to live for the next big goal and love to project that agenda in a motivating (and sometimes forceful) way. Stress relievers for a high D are to work harder, exercise more, and avoid situations beyond their control. If you see workaholism or avoidance becoming the norm, look for what areas are causing stress in your (or your child’s) life.

�38


Remember that in your quest for power and control, always looking ahead means you are not fully focused (or in control) of the present. Be a visionary, and yet remember that your greatest power is still in the present moment.

Since Ds are driven to the bottom line, they can also be quite practical. They feel that talk is cheap - their philosophy is walk the walk. Their philosophy is “don’t just tell me about it - act on it!”

I watched “Fiddler on the Roof” recently with the girls, and there is a scene where the men are talking about the Jews being kicked out of the town. The man breaking the news starts to talk and tell his story about the announcement in the paper. He starts to elaborate, running down one bunny trail and another (clearly a high I, which you’ll read about next) and another cuts him off and says “I said to talk…you’re babbling!” Minutes later, another calls the whole group out on simply talking and complaining about the issues, and not taking action. It’s easy to pick the high Ds out of the crowd!

Ds are decisive decision makers. Just ask them to make a decision and they will respond quickly with no angst about it. Since they live in the present and for the future, they don’t concern themselves much with what has happened in the past. Therefore, they are not so much concerned with the possibility of making a mistake as much as they are simply determined to plow forward. My father and I joke about how we tend to be “ready, fire....aim” type of people.

�39


This can be a fabulous asset to take a risk or challenge, thus you see many high-D entrepreneurs. It’s a natural fit as there is so much confidence and drive that makes you think you have it all figured out. However, as you will learn, Ds find more success when they learn to collaborate with others.

Many businesses fail because the visionary tries to take on all aspects of building a business thinking it’s easier to be in control of it all. There’s a whole other eBook on the importance of building a team!

Ds do not mind conflict. As a matter of fact, they will sometimes instigate conflict to move into something more exciting. They are the ones bringing up politics, religion and education at a party. They love a good debate.

They are strong-willed, fast-paced, and like to get things done. They “dress for success” and if there was a font-style for Ds it would be bold and all caps!

As I mentioned before, however, any strength can become a weakness. Although Ds are wonderful in a fast-paced leadership role, they also have some challenges they need to recognize.

With their “get-to-the-point-fast” approach to everything, they have a natural tendency to anger easily, be overly sarcastic, and/or give off an air of superiority to others. Confidence is powerful and wonderful...ego, however, can easily replace confidence and you end up with a power-play where ego and pride come before relationships.

�40


Since Ds love to be in charge, it’s sometimes hard for them to admit when they are wrong, or don’t know something. Two things that don’t come naturally or easily (and I am guilty of this) is to apologize, and remain teachable.

Ds are notorious for “apologizing” by twisting it - “I’m sorry YOU are upset” instead of addressing what they did to cause the injustice. Master negotiators and manipulators, sometimes they don’t see the lesson or the harm - they just so clearly see if from their perspective, they don’t realize the impact it has on others. This is an issue for all personality styles - so make sure you remind your children/yourself no matter what personality style you are, that everyone has their own perspective. Remain teachable, and always take ownership of your shortcomings.

The strength of a D is in direction. They lead by effectively guiding people to the end goal. They see the vision off in the distance and are bound and determined to get there.

I recently watched the movie “Mr Bean’s Holiday” with the girls - Mr. Bean was bound and determined to find his vacation spot, and as he focused on his trusty compass, he walked a direct line with absolute obliviousness of anything else around him. He was so focused on the end goal that he walked through busy intersections and literally over people if they were in his way! �41

My high D/C father, leading others at our coaching even on how to not only lead and be a coach, but to make an

impact AND make money doing it. See that? End result!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00QJN33II?ie=UTF8&creativeASIN=B00QJN33II&linkCode=xm2&tag=mamsaynam-20


Sometimes a D personality style can be the same way - so focused on the end result they overload the feelings of people around them. They are so confident in their own agenda they lose sight of how other people play into it.

While others may perceive arrogance in the D, from their own perspective they don’t feel they’re exhibiting an air of superiority; they are not only confident in their decision, they don’t mince words and can state it all pretty bluntly. When channeled the right way, this confidence can inspire and motivate others in a highly effective way. But taken to the extreme, this same confidence can repel people quickly.

Ds are very self-sufficient. This isn’t perceived as being aloof by them; they are simply not wasting anyone else’s energy - they’ll handle things themselves! In their eyes this is helpful - they don’t need anyone else to help them so others can save their energy and help people who need it. Even in a team atmosphere, a D has a hard time working together vs. simply taking it all on their plate and doing it on their own.

As a baby, a D is likely to be high energy, bright and determined. They take it all in, are adventuresome, energetic and super precocious. As a child, a high D may be in charge, adventurous, productive, busy and strong-willed, as well as hard-to-please, impatient, pushy and assertive. Growing into their teen years, Ds can be competitive, goal-oriented, independent and confident, sometimes taking responsibility beyond their own necessity and taking charge as much as they can.

�42


They are comfortable with responsibility and are independent - when they are thriving, they can be very trustworthy and competent. However, under stress, watch for addictive behaviors with work, exercise, authority and caffeine/sugar/drugs.

Since they aren’t inclined to allow for rest, they can push themselves to the max and crash hard. Help your D children by modeling rest and recovery in your own life.

Ds are highly crafty and precocious children. My oldest is a combination of D and C, and her D style is most demonstrated in the way she will lead and coordinate a group play (of course she’d rather be the director, producer and set manager vs. the actress) and be the first in creating new adventures and games for everyone to play.

Ds need to feel challenged. Having control and choices makes them feel they are in an environment in which they can be comfortable. They need to know the bottom line and what the point is at all times.

In my house, all the kids have to know the reason behind everything. “Because I said so” flat doesn’t cut it, and although it drives me crazy to justify my reasoning, on the flip-side my little leaders understand having a purpose behind their actions and making educated decisions in life, and less likely to succumb to peer pressure.

I’m not raising minions to follow orders; I’m raising the next generation that has to learn to think for themselves and not be afraid to challenge the norm and form new and innovative ways

of thinking.

(Believe me, it’d be a lot easier to be authoritarian and simply gain compliance without justification.)

�43


Be sure to give your D children some “limited” power. This doesn’t mean you give over all control - you simply allow them to have freedom within your parameters.

For example, one thing that works particularly well with D children who challenge their bedtime is to give them a choice within your comfort zone. Instead of saying “you must be in bed by 9pm,” try instead, “you can choose any bedtime you like before 9pm”. Ds need to be reminded that others in authority are often a necessity, and you can work together for a compromise rather than having a power struggle.

Ds require some level of freedom in their activities. Being confined by inflexible rules and unrelenting process steps can create a backlash in which your Ds will need to break the rules and do it their way. Don’t give them an easy job - they love difficult assignments because the bigger the challenge for them, the sweeter the victory.

Ds can relate to leadership that provides direct answers and establishes goals. They can accept a certain level of pressure - it actually inspires them to achieve. They need to be reminded in the process, however, that people are important, and that means people besides themselves. One thing I am constantly reminding my daughter of is that there is no thing or task more important than the person and relationship.

�44


�45


Read more real life examples of high Ds and childhood here

You can determine your child’s personality style by asking one simple question:

“TELL ME A BIT ABOUT YOURSELF.”

A high D style will tell you all about their accomplishments and achievements. Captain of the football team, graduated with honors, class president or CEO. These are the first things they jump to.

�46

Parent Tips

• As the parent, make sure you establish that you are in control, but give them authority over as much as is reasonable in their lives

• “There are two lasting things we can give our children - one is roots, the other, wings” - allow for independence, even if it’s easier to do it for them

• Help your D child establish goals• Establish a responsibility chart so your child can see her progress and be encouraged by it• If your D child breaks a rule, responding with a clear consequence is very important. “Every

action has a consequence”• “Relationships and people are always more important than things and tasks.” - teach them to

say “I’m sorry” and to be humble enough to learn from their mistakes• I feel strongly about this for every personality style, but especially with high D children, never

“tattle” on them - talking about their faults to others in their presence. It’s a betrayal of trust for them and you can quickly become the enemy. Let them know you are on their side and they can trust you to stand with them.

http://www.apple.com


The “I” Style

The I personality is the Influencer. These children love to talk and they make everything sound fabulous! I remember being shocked at how, even before she was six months old, my middle daughter was so fascinated by people - whenever we walked into a room, she was immediately scanning for faces and her whole face would light up with glee when she found someone to coo to!

And now, my high I daughter is the one who will dance, perform, and has never met a stranger. She talks to anyone, and has no fear of getting to know people of any age. At six, her friend list is continuously growing - we had a surprise party (high I’s love surprises!) last year for her with over 50 people just to ensure all her friends were there!

I’s inspire. Spend time around one and you will feel great, too! They help you to have fun in any situation, and are always looking on the bright side of life.

They are agents for change - they stimulate things and need to see something is happening. Change is highly motivating for them, so it’s not surprising to see a high I with a different hairstyle or color every time you see them. They are constantly redecorating in their homes and environment.

�47


I’s don’t want to feel like they are missing a single moment in life, so they’re the ones who stay up late at a party and be ready to get up early the next morning for a group trip to the beach.

My youngest daughter loves to have conversations with everyone. One a special hike with just my husband and her when she was two, that child told stories and engaged in conversation for so long Nathan and I both dwindled and focused on the strenuous hike and she literally talked herself to sleep!

I’s leave an impression! When they walk into a room, you notice. Everything seems to lighten up - they have a positive vibe and radiate energy wherever they go. And yes, part of why you know when they walk into a room can be boiled down to one word: loud! Laughter that fills a room, large and expressive body language, colorful appearance and generally large personality are all excellent identifiers of a high I. They are full of life and energy and it is apparent everywhere they go!

I’s are interesting. They are very connected and are incredible networkers. They know all the people (rather than facts), jokes and stories. They love to laugh, and make others laugh as well. The “class clown” is most always the I. They are happy to talk to anyone anywhere, and aren’t afraid to embellish to make their story even better.

�48


High I’s are very impressionable. They have a strong desire to be liked by people and will follow the crowd more easily than others. While all personality styles can give into peer pressure, teens who are high I’s are particularly vulnerable - so parents, be mindful of that. When they are stressed, they seek release in ways they see as “fun” - shopping, eating, romantic relationships, mood-elevating drinks/drugs. This can lead to a downward spiral of toxic relationships, binge eating/drinking and mountains of debt if not recognized. A high I can struggle with being alone (equating aloneness with rejection, which is their greatest fear) - so helping your teen be at ease with aloneness and stillness can be huge in helping them navigate the chaos of the world. Going strong and being the life of the party all the time can cause some pretty intense crashes.

I’s are like chameleons - they can change as they need to in order to more easily adapt to their environment they find themselves in. This can be a wonderful thing in that they are easily adaptable to any situation and can flow smoothly from one thing to the next. However, this also means their environment can make just as much of a negative impression on them as a positive one.

I’s like to be the center of attention, and they like to get immediate feedback from the people they are with. Many successful athletes have been high I’s because they like the praise and attention that comes with excelling in sports and the immediacy of the results. Same goes for drama - being able to entertain before a captive audience is a dream! Not only do they love to entertain, but they are powerful persuaders and motivators - they inspire others to come to life alongside them!

�49


I’s are most concerned with relationships first. When I ask Ellie what her favorite things are, she immediately starts talking about how she just likes to be around people, and simply wants to have a party and visit vs. accumulating presents. Affirmation for a high I is to let them know how good they make you feel and how much you enjoy their presence. This means much more than a physical token of appreciation. They love gifts only insomuch as it relates to them connecting to people and seeing the joy on their face when they receive it!

I’s are imaginative, cheerful and social ... and in their whimsical fun and flitting around from one thing to another, they can leave a disorganized path of incompletion behind them! There are times I simply walk with Ellie through the house, helping her see in each room where evidence of her presence has been: inside out socks and shoes laying in the middle of the kitchen floor where she took them off as she was running to her next adventure, fifteen outfits on the floor due to her constant wardrobe changes, markers with no lids on them and paper strewn everywhere for a half-finished art project…

�50


I’s can be a little impulsive. Sometimes in their efforts to join in whatever conversation is going on, they may impulsively say something they hadn’t planned on saying. I once had someone tell me to “think three times, speak only once.” Powerful feedback for an I personality, where sometimes the words come out before the thought is even fully formed!

What I’s want above all is acceptance. They are friendly and compassionate and carefree, and they want, more than anything, to be liked and included. The biggest fear for a high I is rejection. They want to be a part of the team, and when their fear is triggered, this is where you see their strengths become their weaknesses. When they sense someone pulling away or (literally) stepping back, they sense rejection, and are likely to start talking faster and moving into the personal space of whoever is giving off the “I’m not into you” vibe. In an effort to get someone to like them more, they overdo it and end up turning someone off because they come on too strong.

Since Ellie is just now six, we’ve experienced her strengths as both awesome aspects of her personality style, and also had many opportunities to see those strengths come out in a not-so-great way as she learns to manage her impulsivity and the need to be included. It’s hard enough as a young child to manage your impulses, but you take a high I who loves change and knows that during the middle of a long and boring movie, if she just does a little poke at her sister...over and over again...it’ll get a reaction and change things up a bit, you bet she’s going to do it!

�51


Hello button-pushers - if you have that child always looking for a reaction, and often getting a negative one, this is a great time to assess their personality and see if, as a high I, they need to have some outlets for change and attention to keep their button pushing at bay. We tell Ellie all the time “every action has a consequence” and remind her that there is always a reaction for her actions. And with relationships being so important to her, a natural consequence for button pushing is pulling her out of the situation and not allowing her to be around others when she is seeking any attention and it’s going downhill fast.

A high I also loves to tell a good story. When we tell stories, it bypasses the ego and the conscious brain - what this means is that you can comprehend and understand in a better way than a simple lecture, because your brain is entertained! When you are engaged in a story, you retain things more readily and are able to learn in an effective way that engages and makes sense.

A high I is a natural-born storyteller - this charisma and flair for engaging others makes them very effective teachers and persuaders, no matter what their profession. The caveat here is that it goes both ways - telling a story is powerful…but remember that when you are constantly talking, you leave out the opportunity to learn something new. If you or your child is a high I, make sure you allow for a pause.

�52


Allow others to talk as well. If interrupted, don’t immediately start your story again - there is a good chance you were interrupted because they aren’t as interested in the story and ready to move on.

I’s endear you to them quickly because of their friendly, outgoing nature and enthusiasm. High I’s seem to have the ability to attract others to them to listen to their stories or to simply have fun. When it’s not extreme and getting a rise out of her sisters, Ellie is the one who has the gaggle of neighborhood kids showing up at our door, and the one who knows everyone’s name!

As babies, I’s are bright, playful, imaginative, and want to be held a lot. They cry for attention and are into everything. They always want company and love to show off, especially when they learn something new. You may find your child to be happy, affectionate, enthusiastic, friendly, and a good communicator...as well as disorganized, easily distracted, emotional, impulsive, very active, and not great at following through with things.

High Is are extremely precocious, wide-eyed and daring, and their innocent curiosity can definitely get them into trouble (like the time Ellie decided to draw on her own eyeshadow and panties with a red sharpie at 5am). Their vivid imagination allows for plenty of opportunities for creative play.

�53


In their teen years, I’s can be friendly, charming, the life of the party, popular, spontaneous and adaptable. They also may have a harder time deciphering what is truth and may be more likely to succumb to peer pressure. Gossip and drama can play a big role in their lives, yet they can channel this excitement for a good story into something positive as well - it’s all about recognizing the ultimate motive.

High I’s have some challenges that arise as a result of their wiring. They need to overcome their nature which allows them to be pressured into doing things they should not do, just so they will be liked. While showing confidence on the outside, on the inside high I’s are concerned with failure and can at times be fearful of that failure and rejection to the point of being overwhelmed by it.

I am guilty of having “shiny object syndrome”, and this is definitely a trait of an I. I’s can be restless and may sometimes lack focus. I’s can be somewhat inconsistent, and since they don’t want to disappoint anyone, they try pleasing everyone - and inevitably something falls through the cracks.

For an I, having a job that has a definable pattern and structure and also provides some creativity or dramatic flair is best. The more freedom they have to soar - while having some structure to keep them from floating off to happy-land - the better. I’s are excellent tour guides - they can bring even the most boring details to life with their stories and flair for the dramatic. They are incredible performers, convincing actors, sales people and speakers.

�54


Because of their need for shared fun experiences with others, the most important question I’s want answered is “Who? Who will be going? Who will I be with?” If you want your I child to be eager to go to Aunt Margie’s for dinner, you’d be wise telling him who is going to be there and how much they would love to hear your I-wired son’s new joke.

I’s need their environment to offer opportunities for them to talk about their ideas within friendly relationships. They respond best to leadership when the leader is a friend offering social interaction; not someone who puts them to tasks in a solitary cubicle - they’d go crazy!

I’s need to remember they can become distracted, so they need to manage their time effectively - I am a D/I style, and I have to schedule everything...I mean everything on my google calendar. Not because I’m a control freak, but because if it’s not written down, I’m likely to completely forget it or miss the time! I’s need to tune into to factual non-emotional information. While it may seem boring to them, it might contain gems of information that not only gives them credibility, but may validate or disprove what they are presenting!

�55


�56


Read more real life examples of high Is and childhood here

You can determine your child’s personality style by asking one simple question:


A high I style is going to immediately jump into stories. Expect this one little question to take you down a bunny trail of adventures as you may hear a hilarious story of how they got their name, about the time they traveled to Australia, or their plans to “make it big” with their next big idea.

�57

Parent Tips • Help your I child become more organized by teaching him how to effectively use charts or a

chore list• Help your I child to understand when to say no to friends and when it is important to be an

individual. This is an important lesson for all styles, but requires a special emphasis for I children due to their natural need to be a part of a group.

• When your I child needs to do a task (like homework), make sure you set aside time beforehand for them to have some fun and get their wiggles out.

• If an I child misbehaves, the cold shoulder is just...cold. This feels like complete rejection to them. Instead, tell them what they did wrong, why it was wrong, and what the consequence will be. Alone time can be a teaching tool that isn’t just shunning them - but helping them to sit with their thoughts without the distractions of friends, and really comprehend what they did. Always allow them to right their wrongs, so they feel fully back in good graces, and reassure them that you love them and know they will make a better choice next time!

http://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/high-i-style/


The “S” Style

S personality types are the steady and stable ones in our lives. They are reserved, but also people-oriented. Ss desire a great deal of security, and love routine and predictability. The old adage “slow and steady wins the race” fits well here, as there is a higher percentage of S styles than any other personality style, and these are the most consistent, even-keel and slower paced of any style.

Physiologically, we can connect the four personality styles to the four quadrants in the brain - and D and I styles process things at a faster pace (3 seconds) than S and C styles (7 seconds). This doesn’t mean slow=stupid - far from it!! Ds and Is are also known to “ready, fire….aim”. When an S or a C speaks up, they’ve already formulated the thought - they have more of a filter to sift through what is most important.

Ss are the sentimental children. They have movie stubs from dates and keep pictures, old cards and letters. They hold on to things simply because of the connection to the memory and person it reminds them of. They like to recall fond memories so they can relive those great feelings of the past which are familiar and comforting to them.

�58


When you envision a dog, you think loyal, faithful, dependable and trustworthy. For a dove, you think of a peacemaker and love. Both of these are great descriptors for the S personality style. Of the Earth elements, Ds are fire, Is are air, and an S is water, with its smooth and steady flow.

Ss are sweet and sympathetic. If you have an S in your corner to go through life with, you are indeed a lucky person. Ss loyalty goes beyond any other! If you tell them a secret, it will remain a secret. Period.

Ss are very supportive and will go the extra mile for you....or two or three! They are genuinely nice and giving people - and at their core, they are submissive. They H-A-T-E conflict/confrontation and will avoid it if at all possible. Since they are more likely to give in than confront, they can be viewed as weak.

�59


At one of our live events where I spoke on personality styles, I had a high S manager sitting on the front row. He was charming and you could just look at him and see the kindness flowing from his eyes. He said something that has been a mantra for Ss everywhere:

“Don’t mistake kindness for weakness.”

It’s not that Ss are weak; they simply use more discernment on what is worth a battle!

Their amiable and agreeable nature is simply them allowing people to go their own pace, and really treating others as they want to be treated!

My mother says she can nurture a rock. She has enabling down to a fine art. She is a giver who goes out of her way to make people feel at home. Her newest book, “Creating a Haven of Peace” talks in depth about how she created that welcoming, soothing environment in our home that so epitomizes her S style.

As a baby, your S child may appear shy, easygoing, reserved, timid and undemanding. They are very in-tune with emotions, so a harsh tone of voice may be enough to completely crush them (vs. a high D who may take this as an invitation for some confrontation!) They may love naps and are generally happy babies.

As an older child, they tend to be harmonious, affectionate, slower to get things done, lower energy, lovable, easygoing and sweet. They can be cautious and reserved, and are more likely to be shy.

�60

http://astore.amazon.com/mamsaynam-20/detail/1630477710


In their teen years, Ss are the true-blue BFFs. Because of their loyalty (especially in these tumultuous years), they can get caught up in people-pleasing in order to avoid conflict. They can be very indecisive and resistant to change, which may make them seem unmotivated and lazy. Keep in mind they are figuring things out and most likely are facing many changes during this time (puberty, transitioning to adulthood, graduation, significant others, etc).

There are many things being thrown their way, and sometimes complacency is the easiest way to get through. They are peacemakers and tend to be the go-to when teen drama erupts. It can be a lot of pressure to be the shoulder to cry on for every friend, and the stress of carrying everyone else’s burdens can be overwhelming. A coping mechanism may be to numb the emotions by TV, internet/video games, sleeping, drinking/smoking to dull the intensity to a more manageable level. When you see them start to shut down, look for ways to provide some security and consistency in an otherwise roller-coaster life. Not only are they steady, dependable and loyal, but they crave this - steadiness, dependability and loyalty - in their own lives.

My youngest daughter is an S, and, although shyness is not in her repertoire, she is definitely sensitive and loving! Remember that we are typically a blend of 2-3 styles that raise to prominence, and we usually all exhibit at least one trait of each style. So although an S is by nature shy and reserved, there are many S/I and I/S combinations that bring forth a more outgoing front-and-center S.

�61


My daughter is highly sensitive and emotional, and has screamed at me in the middle of the grocery store “Mommy! You hurt my HEART!” When she feels something, she feels it deeply and passionately and is very distraught over anything she feels is an injustice (like me making her sit in the grocery cart when I can do whatever I want).

Since Ss like calmness and a steady pace, you’ll find they are very dependable. They live in routine and are very orderly and efficient in their approach to tasks. They would like to keep things as they are and not rock the boat, so if you need someone to keep things consistent, Ss are great for that.

S can definitely stand for “support” as well - they are willing to illustrate what needs to be done and they show appreciation for efforts put out by others. They are valuable team players who are excellent encouragers for others to stay on task and work together to complete a project.

Ss look for simple solutions to problems and are happy to break down something big into manageable chunks. They are very diplomatic and eager to see things from everyone’s point of view, so as a team player, they will be the first to notice when the team is discouraged and look for solutions to build everyone back up again.

�62


Ss have a dry sense of humor, and even though they prefer to stay in the background, they can come out with some of the most humorous and witty observations at just the perfect time. What I referenced as a necessity for a high I - “Think three times, speak only once,” is a mantra that comes very naturally to an S personality. Their well thought out responses are well received; as it’s rare they are harmful or hurtful to anyone (all feelings are considered).

Ss are loyal, patient, good listeners and kind-hearted. They like to take care of others and be a support. When you need some extra love and encouragement, simply call up an S - they are quick to identify the need and offer the relationship connection you need.

Ss also have some challenges to overcome. Their greatest fear is loss of security, and if their environment changes, they can switch to the defensive, feeling they are in hostile territory. They can appear stingy (think of the little child who simply cannot share the teddy bear) - not because they are thinking “it’s MINE” but more because they don’t want to lose the stability of their current environment.

A child who doesn’t want to share their things may not be truly selfish, but may instead find comfort and security in their toys being their own and their room being safe as it is - having kids come in and disrupt their safe zone may be overwhelming and you will see a negative behavior lash out as their survival reaction for losing their security!

�63


When parenting an S child, the two key focuses for parents should be in helping their child connect in ways that build their self image and their self-confidence. In an effort to avoid conflict, when under pressure an S will withdraw, act indifferent, and shut down their emotions. This highly sensitive and empathetic person can become their own antithesis when under stress. They can appear lazy, indifferent, and apathetic - simply as their own survival mechanism for dealing with feelings of insecurity and conflict.

Ss thrive in helping people out. Ss work best in an environment where they can connect with others. It can be unnerving to have sudden changes, so a high-pressure sales position is not typically a great fit. That being said, simply switching the terminology from them “selling” to “serving” their client can make a very dynamic and successful salesperson, as they easily see things from other perspectives and can identify the need to truly serve their clients. It’s all about service, and you will find many caretaker roles are a natural fit for S styles.

�64

Dr. J-J Bones at your service!


Ss are naturally indecisive. It’s not as much about being wrong as it is displeasing others. When asked their opinion, they generally don’t share it as easily in case they have the “wrong” opinion (consider when voicing something, the potential requirement to back it up and justify...hence confrontation). They strive for a harmonious world, so instead of giving an opinion about where to eat, for example, they are more likely to just give in to the majority or default to others. When an S is really indecisive, just be patient, ask a few questions, and be supportive - in time they will usually come around.

Ss are happy in their supportive roles, and perfectly content to be spectators and allow others to have the limelight. They are more likely to stand back from the action and will only step in when they are given specific instructions. Since they want to be a support to others, often the most important question for them is “How would you like this done?” or “How would you like me to participate?”

Ss need to be appreciated for their support of others. They are motivated by security and the assurance that all is well. Positive affirmations and words of encouragement go a long way with an S, and they often get their support by hearing the gratitude of others.

�65


All children are vulnerable during a divorce or death of a parent, but S children, with their highly sensitive nature, can be very visibly affected by these situations. When upheaval happens in their lives, make sure there are very concrete consistencies they can count on. Even with my high S husband, when there have been times of work or family upheaval, it has been critical for us to have a consistent “date” every night where we check in and allow for ample time to talk through what happened that day and how we are handling it. This consistent check-in is what has gotten him through many rough patches of uncertainty in other areas of our lives.

Ss respond best to leadership (including parenting) that is relaxed and friendly, non-threatening, and that allows time for the Ss to adjust to changes. Remember the importance of meeting people where they are - and for an S, that means you allow time for them to process and adjust with any transition, be that a work change for an adult, or moving from play to dinnertime with a toddler.

�66


�67


Read more real life examples of high Ss and childhood here

You can discover your child’s personality style by asking one simple question:


A high S style will tell you about the relationships first. An adult will immediately tell you they are a mother, father, husband, wife, etc and tell about the family members. A kid will tell you about their pets, their siblings, and their friends. The first identifier for them will be the relationships they have.

�68

Parent Tips • If you are angry, tone it down. Strong aggressive approaches are too intimidating.• Your tone of voice and body language immediately set the stage for whether your child is able

to listen or is retreating from conflict.• Allow for some consistency and routine in your daily life so your S child has comfort in the

predictability. • Give your S child some time to adapt to changes. If you know of some change coming, give

them advance notice so they can prepare and be able to think and talk through concerns. • High Ss don’t care for surprises. They want time to plan and process. • Ss, when hurt, can build up resentment and carry deep grudges. Work through ways to

process and let things go, and stress the importance of letting the negative emotions out instead of stuffing them in.

http://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/high-s-style/


The “C” Style

Ahh, Cs. As a D/I, I am so grateful for the C personality because it is so much the opposite of who I am! Cs are the competent individuals in our lives that make sure we have our i’s dotted and our t’s crossed. They are careful to follow the rules and, if you aren’t clear on the details…for anything….just ask a C.

Cs bring order into our lives - C can be coined for “compliant”, however it’s not that they are passive or give in - it is more because they comply by the rules and what has been tried and true in the past. Cs will stand their ground and are usually educated enough to do so, since they’ve backed everything with facts and previous history. Their motto is, “what worked in the past?”

Cs are cautious. Their biggest fear is being wrong, so they are very serious about not making mistakes. They will hold back doing something until they have analyzed the situation, thought it through, and are confident in their ability to get it done perfectly.

Careful and analytical, Cs are the ones that will find every error in this eBook, or things that may stand out (like the red stem in the plant on the graphic above and how it doesn’t “fit” with the color scheme).

�69


Cs are known for their incredible critical thinking. They have an amazing ability to have numbers jump off a spreadsheet to reveal a problem or answer. Even with largely creative endeavors, Cs are the ones that can pinpoint the rhythm in the music, the steps in the dance, and the symmetry in the photographs. Cs can be pigeonholed as numbers people due to their attention to detail, but there are many very creative and artistic Cs that bring that detail out in a very different way. They are usually bright and gifted in some area, whether it’s math or art or something else. They always look to improve things and can be found creating new and improved versions of old things. They always look at what has worked, but make no hesitation to try to make it better!

My daughter Clara has been a little entrepreneur since age 4, and her card business is really blooming. She loves the detail of Zentangle-inspired drawing, and is thrilled with the concept of spending copious amounts of time perfecting the details and then duplicating it into cards to sell. She sees the system and logical steps that allow her to get more money by selling duplicates vs. an individual drawing. Now she’s plotting how to sell paintings as giclee canvas prints so she can keep all her originals and still make money!

�70

http://mamasaysnamaste.com/product/capns-creations


Cs just love the details - give them facts, figures, lists, organizing and alphabetizing tasks - these can all be fun for a C! If there is an instruction manual, you bet it’ll be read by a C, and they will patiently sit back and wait while the Ds and Is barrel through, fully prepared to jump in and fix it with all the necessary knowledge to do it right.

Cs are very introspective, and don’t tend to be as open with affection. They have a large personal space and are content to be more to themselves. They like space, time to process, and to set their own pace. They like to keep things under control, and will set up systems and methods to get things done. With this, it can be very frustrating for a C when an I comes barreling in and disrupts their order, their agenda, or their work (spoken from experience with some substantial sibling squabbles in our house!)

Cs need quality answers. Telling you C 8-yr-old “we’ll leave soon” isn’t good enough. They need to be told what time you are leaving (1:15pm) and if they are too young to tell time, they need another milestone to look for, such as “love, we’ll be leaving right after lunchtime”.

Be prepared for lots of “why?” They want to know why you act the way you do, how things work, what will happen, and when. They are naturally skeptical and inquisitive. C children will have lots of questions and can be exhausting (believe me, I know!) Why is the sky blue? Why do babies cry? Why are we doing this? When you answer any “why” question, be sure to respond with a substantial answer built on solid research. Cs need accurate answers and information, and quality answers motivate them.

�71


I know from experience if you try and make something up, there is a high chance that you will be called out on it and have to figure out how to back it up. Be honest with them - if you don’t know the answer, tell them and help them figure out how to get the answer. It’s important that you maintain their trust by not just making something up, but being open and honest when you don’t know. If they don’t trust you, you are setting yourself up to get the 3rd degree anytime you state any “fact”. Work with your C child early on to start looking for answers themselves. Help them find great resources and provide them with ways to do research, along with methods for verifying facts.

Often you hear that Cs are very orderly and neat. You will see a C woman with perfectly styled hair, color-coordinated, nails perfectly manicured and just the right purse with her outfit. You can go into their room and find it immaculate, with clothes folded perfectly and organized not only by season but by style and color as well. A high C’s handwriting is usually very easy to read and perfect. We had a tutor who’s handwriting was so perfect I always joked that it looked just like computer font!

That being said, not all Cs are clean with everything. They like order…but order in their mind may still spell chaos in your home. My daughter has every lego laid out and accounted for and all her clothes sorted by color, but watch out for the explosion in her bedroom! Because of her eye for detail, she treasures every little thing, and it’s often a struggle to get her to throw things away and not just hoard. I’ve seen high Cs that have a gazillion papers on their desks and clutter everywhere. But…don’t touch anything!! Although it may look like madness to you, it is all in its right place in their minds!

�72


For a C style, it’s important to keep in mind that simply knowing all the facts does not make them the expert in life. Sometimes Cs can rely so much on what is on paper - the statistics, the facts, the excess information - that they lose sight of people in the process.

Human interaction is a curve ball - no matter what you’ve read, there is always the chance that a personal interaction will result in something different. For someone who doesn’t like change, it can be very frustrating when what you know should be true doesn’t line up with what is.

Being educated is more than just retaining information - it is essential that you don’t just soak it in, but you live it out. A surgeon who has only taken college courses is not who I want operating on me! It takes years of interning, shadowing others, and being in the midst of the unpredictability of people that really educates a surgeon on how to perform. Book knowledge is just that. It’s a stepping stone in the right direction, but facts are not the whole picture. Take into account faith and connection - relationships always involve an element of the unknown.

�73


For example, it can be extremely frustrating and overwhelming for Clara when she has a grand plan for creating yet another movie, and part of the script is that she has to go outside. It is a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and she’s created everything around the story outside. However, there is one big issue - the other person in the movie, Ellie, doesn’t want to go outside today. Clara knows it’s perfect weather and it is what the movie needs, but no matter how much it logically makes sense, Ellie just flat doesn’t want to go outside.

A C can have everything logically laid out, but they cannot compartmentalize the power of choice. So every human interaction is going to involve a potential curve ball, and it’s critical to remain open to that possibility, recognizing that no matter how it’s been proven in the past, life does not always go as planned.

There are a few challenges that C personality styles will need to overcome. Since a high C hates being wrong, perfectionism can really take over. Sometimes their perfectionism is exactly what makes them end up “failing” at something - like working so hard on getting something right that they miss a deadline…or see they can’t get it perfect so they crumple it up and throw it away. Teaching about flexibility is critical - they can make others feel inferior to their standards of perfectionism, and due to their highly analytical nature, they can get stuck in the details, completely missing the big picture.

Cs can be moody and react to environmental changes easily. They are generally loners, or at least very comfortable with being alone. For Clara, “time out” is a reward I give her in order to help her recharge after a full day of being around kids.

�74


When she was younger, I would pick her up from her preschool have her go sit by a tree for five minutes before we drove home with her sitting in a carseat next to her 3-yr-old sister who talked incessantly. For a C, working on their latest project, reading a good book, or building a model car would be preferred over a night on the town.

They respond best to environments that provide assignments which require planning and precision. They are not risk takers and prefer the safe, sure-footed path. They like limited risk where tasks are clearly defined with explanations and rules. Cs respond best in a leadership environment that supports an orientation to detail and has well-established standards or rules within a supportive environment. Cs need to remember that taking a well thought-out risk may be okay, that there are several levels to excellence, and that a thorough explanation is not always possible.

�75


As a baby, a C child is more reserved, quiet and curious. C babies thrive on schedule and are content to be left alone. They may be more sensitive to foods, smells, textures, etc (an S is more like this as well), as new isn’t always perceived as a good thing. As a child, they are deep thinkers, talented, musically inclined (remember they like rhythm and rhymes), and tend to be a loyal friend. Your C child may be moody, critical and intense, and just when you think they are lost in their own perfect world, they will do something that reminds you they are listening and they really DO care about those they love!

�76

Clara creates thank-you notes at every restaurant we go to. Not only does it instill gratitude, but it gives her something to focus on in the loud chaos

of a restaurant.


�77


Read more real life examples of high Cs and childhood here

You can discover your child’s personality style by asking one simple question:


A high C style is easy to identify - their response to this question is: “Why do you want to know?” or “What do you want to know?” It can seem on the defensive, but remember, they want to make sure they get the answer correct! Ambiguous questions will always be answered with a clarifying question.

�78

Parent Tips • When he is disappointed after recognizing he made a mistake, help your child learn that

mistakes take him closer to his ultimate success. • Help your child understand that it is not her job to supervise everyone else’s work. • Don’t push your children into the limelight. Once they establish trust, they will then let loose a

little more. • Encourage your child’s creativity. • For a child that naturally keeps to themselves, make sure to reach out and touch them.

Sometimes they can so easily stay in their personal bubble that it’s a shock to get a hug. Ask permission, and cuddle with your little one. When they are upset, don’t critique or fix - simply try hugging them in silence. Everyone needs human touch and connection, even when they don’t recognize it.

http://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/dot-your-is-and-cross-your-ts-the-high-c-personality-style/


�79

If you are relating to another D, simply be yourself. Ds appreciate other Ds

and their candidness. That being said, make sure you do not engage in

competition for control. A conversation has give and take, so share control

and don’t try to dominate.

If not held in check, Ds can run over Ss. Be friendly, realizing Ss don’t like change or confrontation - so give them

some space to deal with a change, and soften your approach. This will

help you to connect with them in a way that is near and dear to their hearts.

When talking to an I, stretch yourself to be friendly. Let the I have the opportunity to tell a story and be

slightly less “business-like”or abrupt so you can connect and create rapport.

Ds working with Cs need to answer the C questions with quality information. Give them facts and time to process.

Provide Cs space to analyze first before they act.

If you are a byconnect with a


�80

Get right to the point with a D. Stay focused and cut the small talk. Make

sure you stress results, and don’t have ‘shiny object syndrome” Don’t crowd

them - close talking is a huge turn-off.

Don’t come on too strong or in an overly friendly fashion without first

earning their trust. Your connection needs to be people-focused, offering

support to others. Focus on them and encourage them to talk - to build trust and not to dominate the conversation.

The social talk will be fun, but if you are looking to get something

accomplished, make sure you stay focused on your mutual task - even having a written agenda to check off will help you accomplish something.

Don’t waste a C’s time with idle chit-chat. Focus on providing them with

facts. Put yourself in their shoes and give them the details they need. And

same as a D, give them ample personal space!

If you are an byconnect with a


�81

Be more assertive than what is naturally comfortable for you - push to exude more confidence, and speak up. Stay strong and don’t be intimidated - what you have to say is important and

worth hearing. Remember to give them the bottom line.

Provide supportive reassurance in a confident manner to your fellow S.

You can waste a lot of time by neither of you taking the lead, so keep in mind that to truly serve each other, it’s okay for one person to make a decision for

both if needed.

Take the responsibility to keep the connection focused in a relatable way.

Don’t let the I overwhelm the conversation - speak up to be heard. This is a connection where you can liven up and express in a welcoming

environment, so come out of your shell a bit and have fun!

Remember Cs are naturally skeptical, so don’t shut down when they

challenge you - they are simply looking for those quality answers - be

prepared to back up what you say.

If you are an byconnect with a


�82

Within the context of the big picture (and bypassing all the details that got

you to your conclusion), quickly provide them the bottom line. You

don’t have to worry about small talk, and they appreciate organized bullet

points.

Be friendly and not too pushy. Ss are not as focused on what you know as much as they are that you care about

them. If you simply hit them with details and no small talk, it can feel

like an attack - you have to support a connection with them first.

Give the I some room to talk and offer some response to their stories so they

know you are listening. Don’t overwhelm them with facts, and if their eyes start to glaze over, remember it’s okay to add some humor in - they will

appreciate it!

The fact-laden precision of your connection will feel really familiar.

Don’t one-up each other on perfectionism, and seek ways to bring the people connection in a bit so your relationship doesn’t remain sterile and

only task-driven.

If you are a byconnect with a


�83

• I prefer to be in charge of myself and others. • I need an environment where I can see myself as

confident and you can recognize my competence as well. • I want to have the freedom to set my own priorities. • Put my accomplishments on the wall - let me have my

achievements recognized.

• I prefer an environment where I am in the safety of a group.

• A consistent and supportive environment works best. • I like repetition and predictability. • I work best when I am not pressured and am allowed to

go at my own pace. Challenge me to grow, but don’t force.

• Allow me to focus on a few things at a time and don’t overwhelm me.

• My optimal environment is one where people are accepted and it’s an engaging atmosphere.

• I need an environment that is upbeat and friendly. • I love to influence others, so allow me my moment to

shine. • I work best when I am not bogged down with details -

allow for me to flow some.

• My best environment is detailed with clear expectations. • I want to have a clear plan and independence to do it

without someone looking over my shoulder. • I need to know what you want from me. Exactly. • I want to be rewarded for my ideas and any

improvements I recommend.

Optimal ENVIRONMENT for each style


�84

• Offer me control and some “limited” power. • Remember I work hard and play hard. • Provide me an opportunity to make decisions or solve

problems. • Challenge me and recognize my achievements.

• My motivation is to feel stability. • I can’t be under too much pressure. • I am demotivated by conflict. • I love being happy and seeing others the same way. • I enjoy pleasing and serving others.

• I am motivated in an environment that is friendly and engaging.

• I’m motivated by short projects I can work on with others. • I love public recognition. • I thrive on socializing and feeding off a crowd. • Make everything hands-on and interactive.

• I enjoy analyzing and digging deep into an issue. • I am motivated by quality and precise instructions. • I need to be able to find solutions. • I want to create systems and organize. • Give me all the details to be successful.

Optimal MOTIVATION for each style


�85

• I want the control! • Tell me the bottom line. • Push me to delegate and be a part of a team. • Put me in charge of something meaningful. • Give me goals to push for. • Challenge me.

• I want things to be easy! • I don’t like change, so give me some time to transition. • Help me to understand, because I need to feel I’ve

pleased you. • Go over the material one more time with me. • Count to seven after you ask a question - it gives me time

to process. • Give space in your conversation for me to think things

through and give input.

• I want to have fun! • Keep my atmosphere relaxed. • I enjoy having some level of creativity. • I learn best by seeing and a hands-on approach. • I thrive by acting things out or playing games - this is what

makes learning memorable for me.

• I want it to be perfect! • Respond to my questions with quality factual answers. • Let me go the extra mile and get the extra credit. • Tell me exactly what you want me to do - don’t spare the

details. • Don’t be ambiguous.

Optimal LEARNING CONNECTION for each style


�86

• Get right to the bottom line. • Keep it short and specific. • Stay logical, not emotional. • State the action step you want from me.

• Be clear in your communication and carefully explain how things will get done.

• Demonstrate patience and support. • Explain my contribution and provide support and follow-

up as needed. • Be collaborative and non-threatening.

• Keep it friendly. • Allow some social interaction. • Allow me to express my ideas. • Give me recognition for my accomplishments.

• Tell me why. • Be very specific with the information you provide, and

offer it with patience. • If you want action, provide the benefits and risks

surrounding the action. • At the wrap-up of any communication, clearly review the

key points you’ve made.

Optimal WAYS TO CONNECT for each style


So…what now?

I hope you have gotten a lot out of this eBook. Personality is such a critical element

in really being able to connect with others. Everything about

www.MamaSaysNamaste.com focuses on being authentically you and having

authentic relationships. This requires us really knowing ourselves…and each other!

As our children grow up, teaching them how to recognize the various wired styles and

learn that no style is better than another is a valuable skill that will last their lifetime.

Helping them to discover their strengths early on and grow through the areas of

challenge will set them on a path of positive connection with all their interactions.

When they encounter a problem with a child (or

adult) in school or play, offer them insights into

the different personality styles and personal

perspectives. Teach them how to recognize the

styles of their friends and how their own

personality styles can best connect with other

styles.

�87

http://www.MamaSaysNamaste.com


As Sir Francis Bacon said, “Knowledge is power.” Giving your children insight into

these personality styles will help them learn to avoid or diffuse challenge situations. It

will help reduce those feelings that can sabotage self-esteem as they learn to focus

on the unique strengths they bring to a situation, and also recognize strengths in

others. Negativity can be deflected with the understanding of the personality style

and emotional history others are bringing to the situation, which creates a more

understanding environment. This can move a child from a position of angst and

vulnerability to one of power and understanding.

We all have unique wiring and strengths. By recognizing and nurturing your child’s

strengths you can help set a foundation for their future success. When you

understand how both you and your child are wired, and communicating within a

framework that pinpoints that “sweet spot”, you can have successful relationships at

home, at school, and beyond. Create that environment where when you say, “I see

you”, you really see them for all they are!

�88


Additional Resources:

Community: I absolutely love answering questions and coaching people on how to

truly love themselves and others. Join the FaceBook Group and introduce

yourself. Feel free to post questions we can discuss together!

Coaching: If you are looking for some action steps to get your family back on the

right track (or started, if you haven’t gotten a groove yet), you can read my

coaching packages here.

Profiles: For an in-depth 25+ page report and a graph analysis by me, check out the Mama Says Namaste Personality Profile.

Click here for more about the profile plus a video from

me!�89

https://www.facebook.com/groups/MamaSaysNamaste/

http://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/coaching/


parenting the personality styles

Documents