parenting guide on toddlers - singapore children's society · pdf fileabout this...

Parenting Guideon Toddlers

Contents

My Child Doesn’t Sleep Well 2

My Child Resists Toilet Training 6

My Child Won’t Sit Still 10

My Child is Fussy at Mealtimes 14

My Child Won’t Listen to Me 18

My Child Always Messes Things Up 22

My Child Throws Terrible Temper Tantrums 26

My Child is Rough 30

My Child Cries when I Leave for Work 34

References

Brazelton, T.B., & Sparrow, J.D. (2005). Mastering Anger and Aggression the Brazelton Way. Cambridge, Mass: Da Capo Press.

Disney Family.com (n.d.). Parenting. Retrieved 5 October, 2010, from http://familyfun.go.com/parenting/

Home of Parenting & Babytalk (n.d.). Toddler. Retrieved 5 October, 2010, from http://www.parenting.com/toddler

Parker, S., Zuckerman, B. & Augustyn, M.(Eds.).(2004). Behavioural and Developmental Pediatrics. London: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins.

About this Parenting Guide

Just when you are beginning to understand your baby’s needs and wants, your “baby” is taking his/ her firststeps and is speaking in complete sentences.

Congratulations. You have graduated to the world of parenting for toddlers (aged one to three). At this stage,you may realize that parenting is getting complicated. There are frustrating instances when you do notunderstand why your child behaves in a certain manner and you may react strongly to your child’s behaviour,or rather, misbehaviour. It is very easy to let anger take control. However, you can choose to guide your childin a different way.

Every child is different and every parent will face a different set of challenges during the child’s growing upyears. Effective parenting lies in positive interaction with your child. As your child picks up more words andlearns to interact with others by modelling adult behaviour, you can shape your child’s behaviour throughthe way you communicate with him/her.

It is impossible for this guide to be all-encompassing. Instead, we use comic illustrations to depict scenarioswhich might have left you frustrated and unsure of what to do. This light hearted guide provides plausiblereasons to explain your child’s behaviour. It also offers suggestions on what you can do to handle thesituations.

If you wish to discuss any of these parenting issues, do email us at [email protected].

Professor Ho Lai YunChairmanResearch and Advocacy Standing Committee andVice-Chairman, Singapore Children’s Society

Professor Ho Lai Yun is a Senior Consultant at Singapore General Hospital and KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital. He is also a Professor atYong Loo Lin School of Medicine, National University of Singapore and Duke-NUS Graduate Medical School, as well as the Director of ChildDevelopment Programme at Ministry of Health.

1

My Child doesn’t Sleep WellParenting Guide on Toddlers

2

Why is Ah Boyso irritable?!

During the day...

That night...

Again!Higher!

Why won’tAh Boy goto sleep?

I’ll tellyou why.

Parenting Guide on Toddlers

3

Ah Boy probably played too muchin the day. Overexcitementmay affect his sleep.

It’s good to have a bedtimeroutine like:• changing into his pajamas• brushing his teeth• reading him a story


4

Ma, Ah Boy sometimes wouldcry when we turn off the lights.

Is he scared?

Should we have a nightlight in the room? How

about giving him a stuffedtoy to hug to sleep?

Good idea!


5

Each child has a different bedtime habit.

Cut down on game andTV time before yourchild’s bedtime.

Dim the lights andkeep noise leveldown after tuckingyour child into bed.

Toddlers need around 10 to 12 hours of sleepevery night.

No! Idon’twant!

Ah Boy!You have to sit on thetoilet bowl when you

pass motion!

My Child Resists Toilet TrainingParenting Guide on Toddlers

6

Neighbour Mrs Ng brings some food over...

Hi Mrs Chan,try my homemade

cookies.


7

Once, he almost slipped intothe toilet bowl.

He’s also terrified of thesound of the flush.

Hmm...maybe..

Let me bring you somethingwhich will help.

I’m sorry Mrs Ng, I didn’t hear you. I wastrying to get Ah Boy to use the toilet bowl.

He just refuses!

Toilet bowl? Isn’t Ah Boytoo small for it?

Mrs Ng returns...


8

Look whatI’ve got!

A potty?

Let Ah Boy take his time. He will be able to usethe toilet bowl when he’s bigger.

Start Ah Boy with this potty when he regularlywakes up dry after naps. It means that he’s readyfor toilet training.

The potty makes it easierfor his bowel movement aswell. His feet can touch thefloor and that helps himpush.


9

Do not scold or punishyour child if he has‘accidents’. Showacceptance.

Most children begin toilet training between18 months old and three years old.

It’s okay. I’msure you’ll dobetter next

time.

Be patient and encouraging.

From age one,your child isbeginning to besensitive to adults’comments. Whatadults say mayaffect his self-esteem.

My Child Won’t Sit StillParenting Guide on Toddlers

10

Calm down, Ah Boy couldbe bored. Why don’t we take

him to the playground nearby?


11

A while later...

Ah Boy! Lookwhat you’vedone! Sitdown now!

Calm down. Children can’t sit stillfor long. Ah Boy could be bored.Why don’t we bring him to the

playground?

Why don’t wetake him to the

playground nearby?


12

Yes, I should also prepare moreactivities to keep him occupied when

he’s seated.

Look,Ah Boy is much happier

now that he gets tomove around.


13

Toddlers’ attention span will becomelonger as they grow older.

Break up your child’s activitiesinto smaller segments.

Prepare a variety of activitiesto engage your child.

Children cannot sit still for long. It is natural for themto want to explore andplay. Playtime is funand importantfor theirdevelopment.

When your childgrows older, hewill be able to betterrestrain himself.

My Child is Fussy at MealtimesParenting Guide on Toddlers

14

Ah Boy!Openyour

mouth!

It’s been an hour!Why are you eating

so slowly? Sit still!Stop moving

about!

At dinner time...


15

Mummy!I wantto eat!

What?!Now youwant to

eat?


16

We just have to cutthe food into smaller

pieces for him.

Let Ah Boy join usat the dinner table.

He may like to try thedishes prepared.


17

• Serve a reasonable portion.

• Use smaller plates, forks and spoons.

• Discomforts like sore throats or mouth ulcers may makeswallowing painful.

• Let your child eat together with the family. It is normal for toddlersto make a mess as they are still developing their fine motor skills.

My Child Won’t Listen To MeParenting Guide on Toddlers

18

Ah Boy,stop running!

Listento me!I said,“Stop!”

STOP!You

might knock someone

down!

Stop running!You might fall!


19

Ah Boy, you have to stoprunning. This is dangerous.You might hurt yourself.

Other children mightget hurt too.

At home, he’ll run aroundthe kitchen and he likesto play with electrical

points too.

How did youget Ah Boy

to listento you?


20

You can child-proof your home.Keep sharp objects in a drawerwith a childproof latch. Cover allunused electrical points withsafety plugs.

When talking to Ah Boy, keep yourinstructions simple and clear.


21

Be firm and explain to your childthe reason behind your instruction.Keep your instruction simple anddirect.

It helps to keep eye contact whentalking to your child.

Your child may forget aninstruction. It is more helpful toremind him instead of screamingat or pleading with him.

From age two, your child beginsto understand how others feel.Explain to him how his actionswould affect others.

My Child Always Messes Things UpParenting Guide on Toddlers

22


23

Hold it!Calm down!

You’re sucha naughty

boy!

Ah Boy!What haveyou done?!!

This is Ah Boy’s wayof trying things out.Hitting will not help.


24

Ah Boy, we can’tdraw on walls. Here’sa drawing block for

you to draw in.

Come, help Po Poput away the

clothes and cleanthe walls.


25

Get your child tohelp clean up themess he made.This would remind him not to do itagain.

Try to remain calm when your child misbehaves.

Toddlers are constantly exploring their surroundings.

Give your child something to draw on.Drawing helps develop his fine motor skills.

My Child Throws Terrible Temper TantrumsParenting Guide on Toddlers

26

I WANT!I WANT!

I WANT!

I WANT!I WANT!

I WANT!


27

I WANT!

IWANT!

I WANT!I WANT!

I WANT!

No, you can’thave that toy.

We have somany at home!


28

Screamingand shoutingwill not getyou whatyou want.

I WANT!I WANT!

Back at home...

Ah Boy, look! You have manytoys at home. Mummy andDaddy won’t buy you newtoys each time we go out.

Ah Boy,calm down.We’re goinghome now.


29

If the temper tantrum gets violent, hold onto yourchild to prevent him from hurting himself.

Manage your child’s expectation. Let him knowwhen he is allowed to have a new toy.

When your child throws a temper tantrum, check if it iscaused by physical discomforts.

Remain calm and stay in control. Scolding and shoutingat your child will not help.

In a public place, take your child away from the scene.He will continue his temper tantrum if he notices thathe is attracting attention.

My Child is RoughParenting Guide on Toddlers

30

Near dismissal time at Ah Boy’s playgroup

OWW!

Ah Boy,STOP!

I SAW IT FIRST!NO, I DID!

ME FIRST!NO, ME!

IT’S MINE!NO, MINE!


31

I’m so sorryAh Boy bityour son.

Come,let me talkto Ah Boy.


32

Sorry.

Ah Boy, the toyshere are for

sharing.You playtogether or you

take turns. It’s wrong tobite or hit.

Now, say sorryto your friend.


33

• Supervise your child closelywhen he is around otherchildren.

• Give your child positivefeedback when he showsself-control.

• Help your childcommunicateand interactwith others.

Good boy,thanks for

sharing the toy.

My Child Cries When I Leave For WorkParenting Guide on Toddlers

34

Ah Boy,Mummy andDaddy aregoing to

work. Bye! No!I want to

go withyou.


35

Ah Boy, staywith Po Po. Let’sgo play with thebuilding blocks

later.

Ah Boy, Mummy andDaddy can’t takeyou to work. We’ll

be back in theevening for dinner.


36

Bye Bye, Ah Boy,see you tonight.


Explain to your child that your absence is only temporary.He needs assurance to feel secure.Never sneak off.Develop a goodbye ritual and give your child time toadjust to it.

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About Singapore Children’s Society

Singapore Children’s Society has been fulfilling a very meaningful role to disadvantaged children, youth andtheir families in Singapore since 1952. We are an independent and non-profit organisation that reliespredominantly on public support for many of our programmes, including public education initiatives such asthis Parenting Guide.

If you find this Guide useful and would like to contribute towards our programmes, kindly fill up your particularsand donation details in the following page and mail it back to us at:

Singapore Children’s SocietyNo. 298 Tiong Bahru Road#09-05 Central PlazaSingapore 168730

Your kind donation will help us touch the lives of needy children and youths and allow us to commit to ourmission of bringing relief and happiness to children in need.

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With effect from January 2011, we will need your IC number to help you get your tax deduction from donations due toIRAS requirements.

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DONATION DETAILSI enclose a Cheque/PO/MO made payable to Singapore Children’s Society

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Please subscribe me to “Sunbeam” – Children’s Society’s quarterly newsletter

Singapore Children’s Society is an Institution of Public Character and all local donations qualify for 2.5 times tax exemptionbenefits. For more information about us, please visit our website at www.childrensociety.org.sg.

If you have any feedbacks for us, please contact us at [email protected] or 6273 2010.

Thank you for your support!

We hope the tips in this guide will come in handy whenever you are unsure of how to manageyour toddler. Most importantly, enjoy your parenting journey as happy parents make happy children.

We would like to express our gratitude and appreciation to Mrs Maria Shiu and the other membersof the Research and Advocacy Standing Committee (RASC) for their help and advice in putting

this guide together.

Other title in this Parenting Guide series (downloadable from http://www.childrensociety.org.sg)Parenting Guide on Babies

You may also find the following useful in your journey as a parent:Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention micro site (http://www.childrensociety.org.sg/childabuse/)

e-CSEW Directory (http://csewdirectory.childrensociety.org.sg)

Produced bySingapore Children’s Society

Research and Outreach Centre9 Bishan Place, Junction 8, #05-02

Singapore 579837Tel: 6358 0911 Fax: 6358 0936

[email protected]

June 2011

parenting guide on toddlers - singapore children's society · pdf fileabout this...

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