paranoia game 1

8/2/2019 Paranoia Game 1

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/paranoia-game-1 1/21

Nevertellyourpasswordtoanyone.Org:Sorry,mybroclosedthechatonaccidentOrg:WhatdidyousayWoose:pengtasWoose:soWoose:dieterisn'thereWoose:IamsadWoose::lOrg:D:Org:ZaiandPandarareonWoose:alrightWoose:let'sdewthisOrg:ImcheckintoseeiftheywanttoWoose:waitWoose:myfriendWoose:wantstoplayOrg:OhgodOrg:D:Org:YouknowhowthiswentWoose:otherotherotherfriendWoose:trustmeWoose:he'sgoodYourchatwithWooseisnowamulti-userchat.omniscentBirdmanenteredchat.

Org:WhatomniscentBirdman:WOLVERINES!Woose:hiWoose::DOrg:SoOrg:PandarisleavingsoonOrg:AndZaiwantstoplayTF2Woose:hmWoose:timetofindmorepeopleWoose:waitWoose:heavywantstojointooWoose::DOrg:Whoisheavy

Org:Log?Woose:yeahOrg:>:IomniscentBirdman:KeelthemAWL!Woose:logaritmOrg:>:KWoose:comeonbroOrg:>:JWoose:thisisagameaboutkillingrandompeopleOrg:NoWoose:forlittleornoreasonWoose::lOrg:No

Woose:awWoose:alrightomniscentBirdman:He'savery"civilized"humanbeing.HaveaheartOrg:YouhavetohavesomereasontokillpeopleOrg:HmmmOrg:MebbehOrg:SureOrg:ButifhedoessomethingagainOrg:>:PomniscentBirdman:WrathoftheDM?



Org:SomewhatWoose:alrightWoose:coolWoose:alsoWoose:gotanotherfriendhereWoose:canhejoin?Logaritmenteredchat.Woose:he'sfairlysaneWoose:alrightOrg::IseriousGodheadenteredchat.Woose:nowthisisapartyWoose:let'sdothisOrg:OkayOrg:IhavetomakecharactersandshitomniscentBirdman:IwanttobeKingBubba.IwillbethekingofallhotdogsandIwilleatallthecommunists.seriousGodhead:IwishtobeKingJake.Lordofeverything,masterofgoldandspacerock.omniscentBirdman:PutallmyskillsindiplomacyomniscentBirdman:AndKobiyashiimpersonationWoose:dudeWoose:he'stalkingtoeveryoneseperatelyWoose:mefirstbecausehelovesmebestest

seriousGodhead:iputallmyskillsintogemcraftingandtalkingtoburrowinganimalsomniscentBirdman:No!D:seriousGodhead:yes!>:DOrg:http://www.mongoosepublishing.com/pdf/paracharsheet.pdfomniscentBirdman:GnomesarethejewsofDnDseriousGodhead:PUTALLSKILLSINTOBOOTLICKINGomniscentBirdman:YesWoose:notloading:<Org:herpomniscentBirdman:SoomniscentBirdman:Howdowegoaboutthis?Woose:canyouuploaditsomewhereelseorsomething?

Woose:becauseOrg:BybeinggoodpeopleWoose:Ican'tfinditOrg:LOADITWOOSEOrg:>:DseriousGodhead:isthereanythingimsupposedtobedoing?seriousGodhead:also:mymandatorybonusdutywillbeHAPPINESSOFFICER!seriousGodhead:IWILLBRINGHAPPINESSTOALL!seriousGodhead:>:DomniscentBirdman:IwannabeHOTDOGofficeromniscentBirdman:KingBubbaLogaritm:wtffuckisthischaractercheetXDseriousGodhead:itsthebestestcharactersheetever!

seriousGodhead:whatarewewaitingfor?Woose:we'rewaitingtomakecharactersWoose:keepyourfuckingbootsonOrg:YeahOrg:IttakessometimeOrg:WhenyouhavepeopleOrg:WhoarehavingtroubleOrg:NotpointinganyfingersOrg:WooseseriousGodhead:WOOSE



seriousGodhead:THISISYOU------->http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/?cid=018.jpgseriousGodhead:youarehellajeffrightnowwooseseriousGodhead:SPINITFLATWAYSOrg:IwarnedyouaboutthosestairsOrg::3omniscentBirdman:JakeomniscentBirdman:JakeomniscentBirdman:MindfuckomniscentBirdman:TheguyswhomakeAdventureTimearefansofHomestuckOrg:YesseriousGodhead:LabsseriousGodhead:thisisyourightnow-------->seriousGodhead:http://www.mspaintadventures.com/sweetbroandhellajeff/?cid=016.jpgomniscentBirdman:shitletsbesantaomniscentBirdman:itsjustlikeI'mfuckingchristmasinhereomniscentBirdman:ORGomniscentBirdman:ArehotdogstreasonomniscentBirdman:?seriousGodhead:yesseriousGodhead:dontevereathotdogsagainseriousGodhead:orROBOCOPWILLARRESTYOUOrg:Depends

Org:CITIZENOrg:ActuallywaitOrg:BIRDMANOrg:THATINFORMATIONISABOVEYOURCLEARENCELEVELOrg:OkayOrg:WhoisupnextseriousGodhead:MEWoosedisconnected.Org:NEXTOrg:WHOISUPseriousGodhead:MEseriousGodhead:ohwait.....Org:HERPDERP

Org:Birdman?Log?Org:Birdman?Log?seriousGodhead:cmonguysOrg:Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?

Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?



Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?Birdman?Log?seriousGodhead:jesuschristLogaritm:w00tOrg:lolLogaritm:makecharacter?Logaritm:huh?Org:NoOrg:BirdmanOrg:LogseriousGodhead:howarewedoing?omniscentBirdman:GoodseriousGodhead:fuckingsweetseriousGodhead:whoarewewaitingon?

Org:LogseriousGodhead:aightseriousGodhead:whatyourcharlabs?seriousGodhead:whats*Org:Labs?seriousGodhead:birdmanOrg:Like,Bay12forumsLabs?seriousGodhead:akaseriousGodhead:labsOrg:OrwatseriousGodhead:idk.hemightbelabsonthere.idunno.Org:herpusderpusseriousGodhead:indeed

omniscentBirdman:IAMforumLabsomniscentBirdman:Magma.That'sallthereistosayonthematter.MagmaseriousGodhead:oh,howgrand.seriousGodhead:ihaveadeephatredofrobotsseriousGodhead:butihavebotprogrammingseriousGodhead:gofigureOrg:WaitOrg:whatOrg:DonottalkseriousGodhead:okOrg:AboutyourcharactersseriousGodhead:noonetoldmeanyrulesOrg:OrIstartmakingsomemoreclones

Org:BecausepeoplegetexecutedOrg:Beforethegamestarts?seriousGodhead:lolseriousGodhead:okseriousGodhead:pleasenoexecutionsOrg:OKAYOrg:AFEWTHINGSOrg:WEARESTARTINGOrg:NOWOrg:Everyonegets10PerversityPoints,ifIhavenotexplainedthistoeveryon



e.Aperversitypointcanbeusedonyourrolloranotherplayer'sroll,anditcnabeusedtoeitherdecrease/increasetheirchanceofsucceedingthatroll.Ifyouaregoingtouseaperversitypoint,tellmeinthelittleprivatechats,notthisbigchat.Org:Ifyouaredoingasecretaction,akashootsomeoneorsomething,tellmeintheprivatechat.Org:EveryonehasaPDC,andaMEcard.PDC'sarePersonalDigitalCompanion.THinkofPalmPilotsmixedwithsmartphones.MECardsarebasicallyamixofcreditcardsandIDsomniscentBirdman:IdownloadallthepornontothePDCOrg::IOrg:AllthosepicturesandvideosgotoInternalSecurityOrg:TheywanttohaveachatOrg:OkaySunday,December26,20104:23PM-Org:GAMESTARTINGNOW4:23PM-seriousGodhead:whatarewetodo?4:23PM-Org:Wait4:23PM-Org:BEEPBOOP4:23PM-Woose:ohgod4:23PM-Woose:what4:23PM-omniscentBirdman:D:4:24PM-Org:Ohlook,atextmessageonyourPDC's.ItsfromsomeHighProgrammer."COMETORDTSECTORFROMISSIONBRIEFING

4:24PM-Org:Youbettergo4:24PM-Org:FOR*4:24PM-Logaritm:igothere4:24PM-seriousGodhead:cool.illheadthatway.4:24PM-Org:Okay4:24PM-Woose:>Let'sfuckinggo4:24PM-omniscentBirdman:Igotothesector,QUICKLY4:24PM-Org:Youallarriveatthesametime.4:24PM-seriousGodhead:lies4:25PM-Org:Youenteramassivehallwayofhallwaysofdifferentcolora4:25PM-Org:Thepathyouareonisred.4:25PM-Org:Youwalkondowntothebriefingroom4:25PM-Org:Doopdoopdoop

4:25PM-seriousGodhead:whatisthat.someonetakingashit?4:25PM-Woose:dude4:25PM-Org:Labsslunpsover4:26PM-Woose:>Icarrylabsonmyback4:26PM-Org:Youguysstartdragginghim4:26PM-seriousGodhead:okay4:27PM-Org:Acomputerscreenrollsdowninthemissionroom.4:27PM-Org:ItisTheComputer.4:27PM-Org:"Hellocitizens!"4:27PM-Woose:>waveandsmile4:27PM-Org:"THISISYOURCOMPUTER.4:27PM-Org:YOUWILLBEASSIGNEDAMISSIONTOSAVEALPHACOMPLEX."4:27PM-Org:"DOYOUACCEPT."

4:27PM-Logaritm:whyus?4:27PM-seriousGodhead:iwantspecificsfirst4:28PM-seriousGodhead:whatsinitforme?I'mtheChristmasOrg!haschangedtheirnametoTheComputer.4:28PM-Woose:>Yes,ofcourse.4:28PM-TheComputer:"DoyoudoubtTheComputer'sselectionofTroubleshootersLAUZ-R-A51?"4:28PM-Woose:>Iwillalwaysobeythemastercomputer.4:29PM-Logaritm:no!4:29PM-Woose:>YESHEDOES.



4:29PM-Woose:>TREASON!*PointfingeratLauz*4:29PM-seriousGodhead:>TOTHEGULAGWITHYOU4:29PM-Logaritm:iwouldneverdothatComputer!4:29PM-TheComputer:"WOOSE-R-GUD,whatevidenceofLAUZ'streasondoyouhave?"4:30PM-Woose:>Disobedianceandbeinggenerallyashiftyguy.4:30PM-TheComputer:"Treasonisveryserious,andtreasounous.Butfalseaccusationsaretreasonoustoo."4:30PM-TheComputer:((WOOSEBEIC))4:30PM-Woose:>Itisbasedonmyintuition,andnothingmore.InthatIamtruthful.4:30PM-TheComputer:((INCHARACTER,USEQUOTES))4:31PM-Woose:>"YUPPERS"4:31PM-seriousGodhead:"IagreewithWoose.Myintuitionistellingmethesamething."4:31PM-TheComputer:"Thatseemslikeafalseaccusation,WOOSE-R-GUD.Verytreasonous."4:31PM-Woose:"Butthemajorityistreasonous?Howcanthatbe?"4:32PM-Woose:"Ithinkarapidaquisitionofcourtmartialingiscalledforinthissituation."4:32PM-TheComputer:"WOOSE-R-GUDandJAKE-R-LOT,citizens,youwillbequicklytestedfortreason."4:32PM-TheComputer:"WOOSE-R-GUD,doyoudoubtTheComputer?"4:32PM-Woose:"No."

4:32PM-TheComputer:"Good,citizen.Nowforyourtest.WOOSE-R-GUD,whatisyourfavoritetree?"4:33PM-Woose:Evergreen.4:33PM-Woose:"Evergreen."4:33PM-Woose:"Ofcourse,thatdoesn'texist."4:33PM-Woose:"Becausethisisourreality."4:33PM-TheComputer:"Knowledgeoftreesistreasonous.TheComputerwillbewatchingyou."4:35PM-TheComputer:"JAKE-R-LOT,whichoftheOldReckoningleadersosyourfavorite?"4:35PM-seriousGodhead:"Whataretrees?"4:35PM-TheComputer:"Treeason."4:36PM-Woose::l

4:36PM-seriousGodhead:"Haha,nicejokecomputer.Ididn'tknowyouwereprogrammedwithafunnymodule."4:36PM-Woose:"AHAHAHHAHAHA"4:36PM-Woose:"AAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA"4:36PM-Woose:>Gointoconvulsionsofecstasy4:36PM-TheComputer:"JAKE-R-LOT,answertheloyaltytest!"4:36PM-seriousGodhead:"JohnF.Kennedy"4:37PM-Woose:"treason.":o4:37PM-TheComputer:"KnowledgeofOldReckoningleadersistreason!TheComputerwillbewatchingyouclosely!"4:37PM-seriousGodhead:sawthatcoming<----notincharacter4:38PM-Logaritm:"pleaseTheComputer,couldwecomebacktowhatwecameherefor?"

4:39PM-Woose:"DONOTQUESTIONTHECOMPUTER,LAUZ."4:39PM-Logaritm:"iwanttoprovemyselfifthecomputerwheretrustingenoughtoselectahumblepowerservicepersonallikeme"4:40PM-TheComputer:"Citizens,nowthatyouhaveaccpetedyourmission,itwillbeexplainedtoyou.LatelyinSectorSTL,CommunisttraitorshavebeenhijackingBouncyBubbleBeveragecarbots,andstealingtheircargo,deprivingCitizensoftheirdeliciousdrinks!YoumustfindtheseCommunistsandtheirbaseandeliminatethem!"4:40PM-omniscentBirdman:>Iwakeupandlookaround,wavingtomyfellowcitizens."Thatwasodd.Thankscomrades."



4:41PM-TheComputer:"BUBBA-R-HRDG,areyoutired?"4:41PM-omniscentBirdman:"Notanymorecomputer.Iamquitecontentnow,thankyou.4:41PM-omniscentBirdman:"4:42PM-TheComputer:"Good,citizen!Sleepingonthejobistreasonous!"4:42PM-Woose:"TREASON!"4:42PM-TheComputer:"YouwillnowgotoOutfitting."4:42PM-TheComputer:BRB4:42PM-Woose:>Iguess,gotooutfitting.4:43PM-omniscentBirdman:>Gotooutfitting.4:43PM-seriousGodhead:>Outfittingiscooliguess.4:43PM-seriousGodhead:aregunstreasonous?4:43PM-Woose:No4:43PM-Woose:notatall4:43PM-seriousGodhead:wait,isknowledgeofgunstreasonous?4:43PM-Woose:nope4:43PM-omniscentBirdman:Knowledgeoftreasonistreason4:43PM-Woose:infactthat'sabouttheonlythingthatisn'ttreason4:44PM-TheComputer:Youaredirectedtooutfitting.4:44PM-TheComputer:Eachofyouaregiven:4:45PM-TheComputer:OneRed-ClearenceReflecArmor,OneLaserPistolBody,TwoLaserPistolBarrels,OnePairofRedClarenceBoots.4:45PM-omniscentBirdman:>Iassemblemygunanddonmyarmor!4:45PM-Woose:clarence

4:46PM-TheComputer:Eachofyouaregiven30plasticredsonyourMEcardsforuseinC-Bay4:46PM-TheComputer:LolatWoose4:46PM-omniscentBirdman:>InamemygunClarence4:46PM-TheComputer:TheComputerisalwaysright.4:46PM-Woose:>Wearmyarmorandclarenceboots4:46PM-TheComputer:Okay4:46PM-TheComputer:>:I4:46PM-TheComputer:NowforC-Bay4:46PM-Woose:>andwieldmyfabulouspistol4:46PM-seriousGodhead:>Donarmor,assembleandwieldpistol.4:46PM-omniscentBirdman:>SearchC-Bayforhotdogs4:47PM-TheComputer:No\hotdogs.

4:47PM-Woose:NOOOOOOOOOO4:47PM-TheComputer:Youfind:4:47PM-omniscentBirdman:D:4:47PM-TheComputer:ThreelistingsofMulti-Corders(10/13/19)4:47PM-Logaritm:iputonallmygear4:47PM-TheComputer:(Okay)4:48PM-TheComputer:SomeMulti-Corderprograms4:48PM-Woose:>SeewhatIcanbuy!:34:48PM-seriousGodhead:>DittoLogaritmhaschangedtheirnametoLAUZ-R-A5.4:48PM-omniscentBirdman:>SameLAUZ-R-A5leftchat.4:48PM-TheComputer:AfewlistingsofRedLaserBarrels(5/20/29)

LAUZ-R-A5hasbeeninvitedtochat.LAUZ-R-A5enteredchat.4:49PM-TheComputer:ATruncheon(13)4:49PM-LAUZ-R-A5:((whoops))WoosehaschangedtheirnametoWOOSE-R-GUD.omniscentBirdmanhaschangedtheirnametoBUBBA-R-HDG.4:49PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>BuyTruncheon4:50PM-TheComputer:AndOrangeLaserbarrel(30)4:50PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Attempttohackterminaltogivememoreplasticreds4:50PM-TheComputer:No



4:50PM-TheComputer:Youcant4:50PM-WOOSE-R-GUD::l4:50PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Alright4:50PM-TheComputer:ItsComputerSecured4:50PM-TheComputer:Anditsnottheterminal4:50PM-TheComputer:ItsyourMEcard4:50PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Right4:50PM-TheComputer:Okay4:50PM-TheComputer:Ilistedallyoucouldfindwithinyourpricerange4:51PM-TheComputer:Yourtruncheonshouldarriveshortly4:51PM-TheComputer:Ormaybenot4:51PM-TheComputer::34:51PM-TheComputer:Everyonecanbuystuff4:51PM-TheComputer:Goon4:51PM-TheComputer::D4:51PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>refusetobuystuff4:51PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"CurseyouC-Bayandyournotsonextdaydelivery!"4:52PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Abscondfrombuyingitems.4:52PM-LAUZ-R-A5:((canibuysomethinglikeamedkit?))4:52PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:((Knowledgeofitemsaboveyourclearencelevelistreason))4:53PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>idon'tbuyanything4:53PM-TheComputer:LAUZ-R-A51,thatinformationisaboveyourclearencelevel.

4:53PM-LAUZ-R-A5:"tonotbuyanything?"4:53PM-TheComputer:Formedkita4:54PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Idemandyouallcallmeking!KingBubba!"4:54PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>refusestocallBubba'KingBubba'4:54PM-TheComputer:Bubba,yourPDCturnson.4:54PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>D:4:54PM-TheComputer:"CITIZEN,areyouconspiringagainstTheComputer?"4:55PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"TREASON"4:55PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"TREASONOUSTREASON"4:55PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Nocomputer,theyrefusedtocallmeking.Kinghasnospecialmeaninginoursocietydoesit?"4:55PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"treason!monarchiesaretreason!"4:55PM-LAUZ-R-A5:"sorryijustheardsomeoneelsetalkaboutitcomputer"

4:55PM-TheComputer:"Kingmeansleader,andTheComputeristheleaderofAlphaComplex."4:56PM-TheComputer:"ItistreasontoconspireagainstTheComputer."4:56PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Iwasnotaware.Iwillnotusethatwordagaininthefuturecomputer.4:56PM-TheComputer:YourPDCturnsoff.4:56PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Muttersomethingaboutcommiesandreviewmissionbrief4:57PM-TheComputer:So,onlyBubbaisgoingtobuyanything?4:57PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Yeah4:57PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:BubbanameshistruncheonSteelyDan4:57PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>buyasoda4:58PM-TheComputer:Thesoadisgone4:58PM-TheComputer:Yourtruncheonhasnotarrived

4:58PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:NottheSOAD!D:4:58PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Wait4:58PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Purchaseorangebarrel4:58PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Orattempttopurchaseorangebarrel4:59PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Alright,whatever,don'torderit4:59PM-TheComputer:Okay.4:59PM-TheComputer:Okay4:59PM-TheComputer:Youaredirectedtoacarbot4:59PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Hugcarbot.5:00PM-TheComputer:Youareputintotheback,anditisfileldwithdelicio



usBouncingBubblyBeverage5:00PM-TheComputer:Yougetin.5:00PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>DONOTTOUCHTHEDELICIOUSBOUNCINGBUBBLYBEVERAGE5:00PM-TheComputer:Asyoudo,apackagerollsout.Itsays5:00PM-TheComputer:FROMC-BAY5:00PM-TheComputer:TOBUBBA5:00PM-BUBBA-R-HDG::D5:00PM-TheComputer:Youopenit.5:00PM-TheComputer:Itisyourtruncheon,insomewhatgoodcondition.5:01PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Wieldtruncheon,shitjustgotreal!5:01PM-TheComputer:Now,brb5:03PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"Guys,donottouchtheDBBB,donotlookatit,andespeciallydonotdrinkit.Itishightreason."5:04PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>PushWOOSEintoDBBB5:04PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:D:5:04PM-TheComputer:YoupushWoose,andhefumblesandhitsoneofthecontainers.5:05PM-TheComputer:Goodthingnoonesawyouhitit!5:05PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"WOOSE,DON'TTOUCHTHEDBBB!"5:05PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Scoffatruffians5:05PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>:D5:05PM-TheComputer:Okay5:05PM-TheComputer:Yourcargoesalong.5:06PM-TheComputer:YourPDC'sactivate!

5:06PM-TheComputer:ItsTheComputer!5:07PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Stareintothecomputerseyes.ItknowsIloveit.5:07PM-TheComputer:"CITIZENS.ISEEMANYCOMMUNISTTRAITORSLYINGINAMBUSHNEARBY.REMEMBER,YOURLASERBARRELSCANONLYFIRESIXSHOTSBEFORE*BZZZT*THISINFORMATIONISABOVEYOURSECURITYLEVEL.HAVEAGOODDAYCYCLE!5:07PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Purgeinformationfrommind5:08PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>cry5:08PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Laylowinthecaranddisgusemyselfasacommunist5:08PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"ack.thatinformationseemshighlyrelevant!thereisnoreasontokeepsuchimportantinformationfromus!"5:08PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"TREASON"5:08PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Treason!"5:08PM-TheComputer:"DOYOUDOUBTTHECOMPUTERJAKE-R-LOT?"

5:08PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"idonot,goodcomputer."5:08PM-TheComputer:"THECOMPUTERWILLBEWATCHINGYOU."5:09PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>hide5:09PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Burstoutofthecarbotlikethefuckingkool-aidman."OOOOHHHYEAAAAAAAHHHH"5:09PM-TheComputer:"TheComputerisalwaysright."5:09PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>...whenitgetstoitsdestination5:10PM-TheComputer:BooM!5:10PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Letmedothetalkingcomrades,Iwilldisgusemyselfandyouwillactasmyprisoners."5:10PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Rescindmylastcommand.5:10PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>HIDE5:10PM-TheComputer:Thecarslidestoastandstill!

5:10PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Adoptrussianaccent.5:10PM-TheComputer:Carbot:"Nooo.Icantmove!Noooooo.Iwanttomove."5:10PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Holdweaponattheready5:10PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Wecanambushtheambushcomrades."I'mtheChristmasOrg!haschangedtheirnametoDirtyCommies.5:11PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"THEDBBBHOLDSTHEPOWER"5:11PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Popmyheadoutofthecar."Don'tshootcomrades,Ihaveprisonersforyouall!"5:11PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>GraballoftheDBBB.5:11PM-DirtyCommies:"Comrades!Itisdatime...



5:11PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Talktocommies5:11PM-DirtyCommies:"Vhatisthis,acomradeindacah?Da!Hehasdabeveages!"5:12PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"'Elloman?What'shappenin'?I'mArtyom.5:12PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Dacomrades,Ihavebroughtthisalongwiththesqushymeatbags!"5:12PM-DirtyCommies:"Comrade!Vatchout,capitalists,da!5:12PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"Noomaan.Thisisfortheleader.Da."5:12PM-DirtyCommies:OneoftheCommunistspullsalaserpistol5:12PM-DirtyCommies:Heshootsatwoose5:12PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Fuckingfuckuphisshit5:12PM-DirtyCommies:Pew!5:12PM-DirtyCommies:Itmisses.5:13PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>SHOOT5:13PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Divebehindcar.5:13PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:D:5:13PM-LAUZ-R-A5:aretheyattackingfromonesideourboth?5:13PM-DirtyCommies:Woosemisses5:13PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"Carbot,thisisyourtimetoshine!Helpus!5:13PM-DirtyCommies:Waitwhat?5:13PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Divebehindcarwithbubba5:13PM-DirtyCommies:Theyareattckingfromfront5:14PM-DirtyCommies:Itslikeasemi5:14PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Takecover

5:14PM-DirtyCommies:Youareinthebackcompartment5:14PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Duck5:14PM-DirtyCommies:Withthebeverages5:14PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Woose,weneedtogetcomradecarworking.Useyourmechanicalskills.5:14PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>GrabtheDBBB.Itholdsthepower.5:14PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>HackCarbotinterface5:14PM-DirtyCommies:WoosegrabssomeoftheBBBG5:14PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Getittohitthemetal5:15PM-DirtyCommies:AndWoosehacksin,butyoucantmove,sincethecarbotswheelsarepopped5:15PM-DirtyCommies:Thecommiesfire5:15PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Hackinterface,makecarbotgrowl

5:15PM-DirtyCommies:PEWPEWPEWPEW5:15PM-DirtyCommies:Wooseishit5:15PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>hideandwait5:15PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>DUCK5:15PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>GOOSE5:15PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>FFFFFFFF-5:15PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Firefrombehindcover5:16PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Rushatcommieswithtruncheon!Knockthemout!5:16PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>takeapeekoutandseeificanshootsomeone5:16PM-DirtyCommies:Jake-R-Lothitsacommie.5:17PM-DirtyCommies:Hishandisfried5:17PM-JAKE-R-LOT:WOOT5:17PM-JAKE-R-LOT:woah,myhand?

5:17PM-JAKE-R-LOT:ortheguyihit5:17PM-JAKE-R-LOT:?5:17PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>CryandpourBBBGoverwound5:17PM-DirtyCommies:Guyyouhit5:17PM-JAKE-R-LOT:k5:17PM-JAKE-R-LOT:justchecking5:17PM-DirtyCommies:BUBBAjumpsoutandtakesaswingattheleadcommie5:17PM-DirtyCommies:Bam!5:17PM-DirtyCommies:Butheisnthurtthatmuch5:18PM-DirtyCommies:(remember,perversitypoints,usethem,also,usethem



secretly)5:18PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Keepswinging,likeanANIMAL!5:18PM-DirtyCommies:Lauztriestofire,butmisses5:18PM-DirtyCommies:Thecommiesfire5:18PM-DirtyCommies:OnehitsBUBBA5:19PM-DirtyCommies:Butheisbarelyhurt5:19PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:FUCKYEAH5:19PM-DirtyCommies:Bubbaswings,feelingvigorous5:19PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:I'MANANIMAL>=O5:19PM-DirtyCommies:BAM!5:19PM-DirtyCommies:Thecommunistsbrainsexplode5:19PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>ishootagain!5:19PM-DirtyCommies:brb5:19PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:RAGGLEFRAGGLE5:21PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Runcomrades!Wedon'thavetofight!"5:21PM-DirtyCommies:Bzzt!Lauzfiresashot,andmaimsanotherone.5:21PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Getout,startrepairingwheels5:21PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Assistinrepairs5:22PM-DirtyCommies:Theyareslashed/popped5:22PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Persuadecommiestoflee5:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Useclothingfromdeadcommiestorepairwheels5:22PM-DirtyCommies:Theremainingcommierunsaway,andhelpstheothertwogetaway5:22PM-DirtyCommies:Twofire

5:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>greasetrackswiththeirorgans5:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>etc.5:22PM-DirtyCommies:Bothmiss5:22PM-DirtyCommies:Doesntwork5:22PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Knockthemout5:22PM-DirtyCommies:TheComputerstartschattingagain5:23PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Checkinbackforextratires5:23PM-DirtyCommies:"CITIZENS,GREATJOBINEXECUTINGONEOFTHECOMMUNISTS.HOWEVER,THESEBEVERAGESMUSTMAKEITTOTHESECTORSTILL.HAVEAGOODDAYCYCLE."5:23PM-DirtyCommies:Now,ihavetogoforDinner,Iwillbebacksoon5:23PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:Adios5:23PM-JAKE-R-LOT:lamesauce

5:23PM-JAKE-R-LOT:commiesdonteatdinner5:26PM-JAKE-R-LOT:fine5:26PM-JAKE-R-LOT:inthemeantime5:26PM-JAKE-R-LOT:woose,playkfwithme!5:26PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:ehhhh5:26PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:ehhhhhhhhhhhhh5:26PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:let'splayblackcocks5:26PM-JAKE-R-LOT:YOU5:26PM-JAKE-R-LOT:lmao5:26PM-JAKE-R-LOT:ok5:27PM-JAKE-R-LOT:iwillengageblackcocksmode5:30PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Jake5:30PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Idon'thaveamicrophone

5:30PM-WOOSE-R-GUD::P5:30PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:jointheparty5:30PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:Joinskype5:31PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:ah5:31PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:fuck5:31PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Ididn'tgetmyaccount5:31PM-WOOSE-R-GUD::l5:48PM-DirtyCommies:Hello.5:48PM-DirtyCommies:ITISTIMETOPLAYMOREPARANOIA5:49PM-DirtyCommies:GUYS



5:49PM-WOOSE-R-GUD::D5:49PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:hi5:50PM-DirtyCommies:"CITIZENS,GREATJOBINEXECUTINGONEOFTHECOMMUNISTS.HOWEVER,THESEBEVERAGESMUSTMAKEITTOTHESECTORSTILL.HAVEAGOODDAYCYCLE."5:50PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Plotagainstthecomputer5:50PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Imean5:50PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Checkbackformoretires5:50PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Examinesorroundings5:50PM-DirtyCommies:Youseenotires.5:50PM-DirtyCommies:Onlybeverages.5:51PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>examinethefuckoutofthosesorroundings5:51PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Don'tworrycomrades,Imeanfriends,wecanjustrolltherestofthebevaagetothenextdixtrict.5:51PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>couldwecarrythebeverages?5:52PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Movebeverages,byHAND,todestination5:52PM-DirtyCommies:Okay5:52PM-DirtyCommies:Youeachbegincarryingaboxofbeverages.5:52PM-DirtyCommies:Thecarbotgaveyouthecoordinatestothesector.5:52PM-DirtyCommies:Toottoottoot5:53PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Bidcarbotatear-filledfarewell5:53PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>rigcarbottoexplode5:53PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Guys,Icanfindashortcut"5:53PM-DirtyCommies:Youcannotrigthecartoexplode.

5:53PM-WOOSE-R-GUD::l5:53PM-DirtyCommies:Youhavenoexplosives.5:54PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Onwardguys,wemustbediligent"5:54PM-LAUZ-R-A5:"FORNOTBEINGACUSEDOFTREASON!"5:54PM-DirtyCommies:Yougoon.5:54PM-DirtyCommies:Andon.5:55PM-DirtyCommies:Whenyoureachpartofthesectorwhereyouneedtogo.5:55PM-DirtyCommies:Inthemiddleofthespaceisafountainwithastatueofthecomputer.5:55PM-DirtyCommies:Yougoon.5:55PM-DirtyCommies:WhenblacksuitedCommiesdropfromtheceiling!5:55PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Guys,weneedtodropitofftothoselivingquartesover...here"Showsthemcoords

5:55PM-DirtyCommies:"Da,da!Deraredabeverages,comrades!Attack!5:56PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"WHY,THEFUCK,DOYOUNEEDTHESESOBAD!?"5:56PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>takecover5:56PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>takecover!5:56PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>disgusemyslefascommunist!5:56PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Comrades,wecansettkethispeacefully!"5:56PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:settle*5:56PM-DirtyCommies:Fivecommiesdroppedfromtheceiling.Twoholdlaserpistolswithredbarrels.Theothersholdknifesandbrasknuckles.5:57PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>shotatguyswithlaser!5:57PM-DirtyCommies:Youtakecover!5:57PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Chargecommiesandpummelleader!5:57PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:SupportBubbawithlasersots

5:57PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:shots*5:57PM-DirtyCommies:Yourunatthem!5:57PM-JAKE-R-LOT:sorry,imback.5:58PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:SOLATE5:58PM-WOOSE-R-GUD::L5:58PM-JAKE-R-LOT:mymomisbasicallyahugebitchandallthereistosayonthematter5:58PM-JAKE-R-LOT:also,woose,suckme.becauseyoudonthaveanxboxmic.5:58PM-WOOSE-R-GUD::DDD5:59PM-DirtyCommies:ThemaincommieiswoundedbyBubba'sblow!



5:59PM-LAUZ-R-A5:"PROTECTTHEBEVERAGES!"6:00PM-DirtyCommies:ThetwocommiesfireatLauzandJake!6:00PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Tossasinglebeverageupintheairtodistractcommies6:00PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"FleecomradesorfacethewrathofSTEELYDAN"6:00PM-DirtyCommies:Theymiss!6:00PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Catchupwithgroupandtakecover6:00PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Fireacarefullyaimedshotatcommienumber1.6:00PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Weareaneliteforceofcummunistdeliverymenandwillnothesitatetodestroyallwhoopposeus!"6:01PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"BUUUULLLSHIT"6:01PM-DirtyCommies:Woosewoundstheleader!6:01PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>fireagain!6:01PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Fistpump6:01PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Attempttoknockoutleader6:01PM-LAUZ-R-A5:"let'strytocapturetheleaderguys!"6:02PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Fireatotherhenchmen.Mostnotablytheonewiththegun.6:02PM-DirtyCommies:Jakefiresandkillstheleader!6:02PM-JAKE-R-LOT:FUCKYES.6:02PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:DAMMITJAKE6:02PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Jake6:02PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>supportfireforsomeoneto...6:02PM-WOOSE-R-GUD::l6:02PM-DirtyCommies:Woosemisseshisshot!

6:02PM-LAUZ-R-A5:DAMMITJAKE!6:02PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"Teehee.IAMBECOMEDEATH,DESTROYTEROFWORLDS!"6:02PM-DirtyCommies:ThetwoothercommiesrunforwardwithknivesatJake6:02PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Igiveyouonelasechancecomrades!"6:02PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"eerrrr...leaders!"6:02PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Letjakegetshanked6:02PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Runthefuckaway6:02PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>abandonjake6:03PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>abadonjake6:03PM-DirtyCommies:Jakeisstabbedinthestomach!6:03PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:teeheee6:03PM-JAKE-R-LOT:sonofabitch6:03PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Alright,goandhelpjake

6:03PM-LAUZ-R-A5:TRAITOR!6:03PM-DirtyCommies:TheCommieshootswoose!6:03PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Okcomrades!Youwillbepunished!"6:03PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Fireatassholewhoshankedme.6:03PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>supportwoose6:04PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>AttempttoKNOCKOUTcommies6:04PM-DirtyCommies:Woose'srightarmdisintigrates!6:04PM-JAKE-R-LOT:lol6:04PM-DirtyCommies::36:04PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"ohdear.Ow."6:04PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"thatswhathappenswhenyoudonthelpmethefirsttime!"6:04PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>supportwoosewithlasergun6:04PM-DirtyCommies:Youmiss.

6:05PM-DirtyCommies:Jake'sturn6:05PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>PullwoosebehindcoverandusemyMEDICALskills6:05PM-DirtyCommies:Thenbubba6:05PM-DirtyCommies:Jake6:05PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Fireatguywhoshankedme6:06PM-DirtyCommies:PEW6:06PM-DirtyCommies:Youhaveliketwoshotsbeforesomethinghappens6:06PM-JAKE-R-LOT:ibelieveihave3,dirtycommies6:06PM-DirtyCommies:Thecommiegoesdown,andisimmobile6:07PM-DirtyCommies:Youfiredearlier



6:07PM-JAKE-R-LOT:twice6:07PM-DirtyCommies:Inthecar6:07PM-JAKE-R-LOT:once.6:07PM-DirtyCommies:Hm6:07PM-DirtyCommies:Yeah6:07PM-DirtyCommies:Okay6:07PM-JAKE-R-LOT::D6:07PM-DirtyCommies:BubbaisgoingtopullWooseover6:07PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"Myguessisthatthebarrelexplodes.Whowantstofindout?"6:08PM-DirtyCommies:Wooseispatchedupabit6:08PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Shouttocommies:"Onelastwarningcomrades!Leavenow!"6:08PM-DirtyCommies:Buthelosthisarm6:09PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>shotatcommies6:09PM-DirtyCommies:ThecomradestabsatJake6:09PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Shootatcommieswithremainingarm6:09PM-DirtyCommies:Buthedodgesaway6:09PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Wewon'theasitatetokillyou!"6:09PM-DirtyCommies:ThecomradeshootsatLauz6:09PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>getup,thenshootatcommies6:09PM-DirtyCommies:PEW6:09PM-DirtyCommies:Lauzgetsshotintheleg,andfallsdown.6:09PM-DirtyCommies:Immobile

6:10PM-DirtyCommies:Woosegetsup6:10PM-DirtyCommies:Andmisses6:10PM-JAKE-R-LOT:whatisthestatusofthecommies?6:10PM-DirtyCommies:Woosehasthreeshotsleft6:10PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Keepfiring6:10PM-DirtyCommies:Twoarealive6:10PM-DirtyCommies:Onewithaknife6:10PM-DirtyCommies:Orthreearealive6:10PM-JAKE-R-LOT:stabbingme?6:10PM-DirtyCommies:Butoneisdown6:10PM-DirtyCommies:Onehasalaser6:11PM-JAKE-R-LOT:ok6:11PM-DirtyCommies:Yes

6:11PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Prioritisetheonewiththelaser6:11PM-DirtyCommies:Youmissed6:11PM-DirtyCommies:ItsBubbasturn6:11PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Runatcommiestryingtoknockthemoutandwarningthemtoflee!6:11PM-DirtyCommies:Youhittheonewiththeknifewithyourtruncheon6:12PM-DirtyCommies:Heisdazedbytheblow6:12PM-DirtyCommies:HestabsatJake!6:12PM-DirtyCommies:AndJakeisslashedonthearm,butitmostlyisjustasuperficialwound6:12PM-JAKE-R-LOT:stupidcommiesstabbingatme.6:12PM-DirtyCommies:ThelasergunmanfiresatWoose!6:12PM-DirtyCommies:Butmisses

6:13PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Blastcommiewhoisstabbingme.6:13PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>shotatthelaserman6:13PM-DirtyCommies:Pew!Heishit6:13PM-DirtyCommies:Lauzcantdoanything,heisimmobile6:13PM-DirtyCommies:Butthecommiekeepsgoing6:13PM-DirtyCommies:Woose6:13PM-DirtyCommies:go6:13PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Fireatthelaserman6:14PM-DirtyCommies:pew!6:14PM-DirtyCommies:Heishit



6:14PM-DirtyCommies:TheknifecommieattacksJake!6:15PM-DirtyCommies:Jakejustpusheshimback!6:15PM-DirtyCommies:Thelaserguncommiefires!6:15PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Fire5thshotatknifecommie6:15PM-DirtyCommies:Andmisses!6:16PM-DirtyCommies:jakehitsthecommiesleg!6:16PM-DirtyCommies:Hestumbles!6:16PM-DirtyCommies:Itdisintigrates6:16PM-DirtyCommies:Pew6:16PM-DirtyCommies:Hetakesastab6:16PM-DirtyCommies:Butmisses6:16PM-DirtyCommies:Bubba6:16PM-DirtyCommies:BUBBA6:17PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Knockoutremainingcommies6:17PM-DirtyCommies:Youmissthecommieashestumbles.6:17PM-DirtyCommies:Woose6:17PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Fireagain,atthedudeshootingatme6:17PM-DirtyCommies:Youmiss!6:17PM-DirtyCommies:Whatshotwasthatforyou!6:17PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:secondtolast6:18PM-DirtyCommies:Okay6:18PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:soIhave1more6:18PM-JAKE-R-LOT:whatsthestatusofthecommiesagain?6:18PM-DirtyCommies:Thelasercommieputssomethingdownathisfeet,andr

uns!6:18PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>examinething6:18PM-DirtyCommies:Hmm6:18PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Jake6:18PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:youaresodead6:18PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:Takecover,draggingLAUZ6:18PM-LAUZ-R-A5:((imalreadyincoverright))6:19PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>:D6:19PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Getthefuckdown6:19PM-DirtyCommies:Jake,youarentsurewhatitis6:19PM-DirtyCommies:Youhearabeeping6:19PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>RUN6:19PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>AWAY

6:19PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Gojake,gotothething6:19PM-DirtyCommies:Theknifecommies6:19PM-DirtyCommies:tacklesyou6:19PM-DirtyCommies:Bam!6:19PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Abandonjake6:19PM-DirtyCommies:Youfalldownwithhim6:19PM-JAKE-R-LOT:didntitakethisguyslegout?6:19PM-JAKE-R-LOT:howishetacklingme?6:19PM-DirtyCommies:Hehoptackledyou6:19PM-DirtyCommies:ITSPOSSIBLE6:19PM-DirtyCommies:THECOMPUTERISALWAYSRIGHT6:19PM-JAKE-R-LOT:.....barely6:20PM-DirtyCommies:AREYOUDOUBTINGTHECOMPUTER

6:20PM-DirtyCommies::D6:20PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:TREASON6:20PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:TREASON6:20PM-JAKE-R-LOT:nocomputer6:20PM-LAUZ-R-A5:TREASON6:20PM-JAKE-R-LOT:youarealwaysright6:20PM-DirtyCommies:THebeepinggetslouder6:20PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:good6:20PM-DirtyCommies:Bubba?6:20PM-JAKE-R-LOT:wait,whereaminow?



6:20PM-DirtyCommies:WOose?6:20PM-DirtyCommies:Youarenearthebeeeping6:20PM-DirtyCommies:Yougottackled6:20PM-DirtyCommies:Heisontopofyou,withaknife6:20PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:(somehow)6:20PM-WOOSE-R-GUD::p6:21PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>abandonjake6:21PM-DirtyCommies:"Da!Youaregoingvithme,comrade!6:21PM-JAKE-R-LOT:jackass6:21PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>wrestlecommies.attempttothrowhimoff.6:21PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:COVERYOURSELFWITHHISBODYJAKE6:21PM-DirtyCommies:Bubba?6:21PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:IT'STHEONLYWAY6:21PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:KISSHIM6:21PM-DirtyCommies:Youthrowhimoff!6:21PM-DirtyCommies:BOOM!6:21PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"You'reonyourown!"6:21PM-DirtyCommies:Thebombgoesoff6:21PM-JAKE-R-LOT:huzzah6:21PM-DirtyCommies:Ittakesthecommieswithit6:21PM-DirtyCommies:AndJake6:21PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:awww6:21PM-JAKE-R-LOT:idie?6:21PM-DirtyCommies:Youfryintheexplosion

6:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:youhavelike,6otherdudes6:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:don'tworry6:22PM-DirtyCommies:Lauzisdying6:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:butstill6:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:firstmission6:22PM-DirtyCommies:Heneedshelp6:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD::P6:22PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Walkovertocorpse"Sorrybuddy,Ilikemylegs."6:22PM-JAKE-R-LOT:wow.idoallthefuckingworkandimtheonetodie.6:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>HealLauz6:22PM-DirtyCommies:"YOURCLONEWILLBEHERESHORTLYJAKE-R-LOT"6:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Or,attemptto.6:22PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Kockoutwoose

6:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Withlike,1arm.6:22PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:What6:22PM-DirtyCommies:Kockoutwoose?6:22PM-DirtyCommies::36:23PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Slowlyslipintomadness6:23PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Stareintotheabyss6:23PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Takelastshotatbubba6:23PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Summonenoughstrengthtofaponcebeforedying6:24PM-DirtyCommies:Youdied6:24PM-JAKE-R-LOT:fuckingyay6:25PM-DirtyCommies:BubbaslamsWooseonthehead6:25PM-DirtyCommies:WooseshootsBubba6:25PM-DirtyCommies:Buthemisseshorribly

6:25PM-DirtyCommies:Woose?6:25PM-DirtyCommies:Bubba/6:25PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Knockhimout6:26PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Abscondfromlife.6:26PM-DirtyCommies:BubbaslamsWooseagain.6:26PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Kickhimintheballs6:26PM-DirtyCommies:Woosefallsdown.6:26PM-DirtyCommies:Immobile.6:26PM-JAKE-R-LOT:FIREYOURLASTSHOTWOOSE6:26PM-JAKE-R-LOT:MAKEITCOUNT



6:26PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Idon'thaveanymoreshots6:26PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Firegunanyway6:26PM-JAKE-R-LOT:oh.whathappenedtoyourbarrel?6:26PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>HealLaud6:26PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:useditup6:26PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:alright,nevermindthen6:27PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>replacebarrel6:27PM-DirtyCommies:Woosefires.6:27PM-JAKE-R-LOT:nothingspecialhappened?D:<6:27PM-DirtyCommies:However,itisahorribleshot,andtheweaponthenmalfunctions.6:27PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:huh6:27PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:thought'dexplode6:27PM-DirtyCommies:YounowareunconsciousWoose6:27PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>HealLaud6:28PM-DirtyCommies:Thelastthingyouseearecommiespouringoutofabuilding6:28PM-JAKE-R-LOT:woose,joinmeinhell!6:28PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Butkeephimunconsious6:28PM-DirtyCommies:Lauzisupalready,staggeringaround6:28PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Completeprimedirective6:28PM-DirtyCommies:COmmiespouroutofabuilding6:28PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Standdownlauz6:29PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Run"

6:29PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"I;llholdthemoff"6:32PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Betheotherguy6:32PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Zvarri6:32PM-DirtyCommies:Layx6:32PM-JAKE-R-LOT:yes6:32PM-DirtyCommies:Lauz6:33PM-LAUZ-R-A5:yes?6:34PM-DirtyCommies:Acarsppedsin.6:34PM-DirtyCommies:Jakeisdroppedoff.6:34PM-DirtyCommies:Hestumblesout.6:34PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"Higuys!"6:36PM-DirtyCommies:Snap!6:36PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>HealLauz

6:36PM-DirtyCommies:Abrightflashcomesfromlauz'sPDC,ashetakesaphotoofBubbawiththecommies.6:37PM-DirtyCommies:ItissentdirectlytoINTSECandthecomputer.6:37PM-DirtyCommies:Youhearavoicecomefromaroundyou.6:38PM-DirtyCommies:"GREETINGSCITIZENS.ITAPPEARSTHATSOMEOFYOUAREDIRTYCOMMUNISTMUTANTTRAITORS.TROUBLESHOOTERS.YOUHAVEFOUNDTROUBLE.NOWSHOOT."6:38PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>"Ah,Iguesszhereisnohidinkitnow.Keelthemcomrades!"6:38PM-DirtyCommies:BOOM!6:38PM-DirtyCommies:Alargenoisecomesfrominside.6:39PM-DirtyCommies:Alargerobotwalksout.6:39PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Takestufffromdeadme.

6:39PM-DirtyCommies:Thecommiesrunbackin6:39PM-DirtyCommies:"Dada!6:39PM-DirtyCommies:Letthemfight,ZEBOTOFZEMOTHERLAND"6:39PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>ExamineLauz'scondition6:39PM-DirtyCommies:TherobotcomesforLauz.Ithassomesaws.6:39PM-DirtyCommies:Lauzishurt.6:40PM-DirtyCommies:Buthecanmove,somewhat.6:40PM-DirtyCommies:Wooseisstillunconscious.6:40PM-DirtyCommies:Threecommiesremain,andsodoesBubba.6:40PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>stealthilymovebehindbot,andattempttoreprogramit.



6:40PM-DirtyCommies:Itsprettybig6:40PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:"Standbackcomrades,zeebotwillmakeshortworkofzem."6:40PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>o.kcaniusesomeskilltodeterminesomeweakpointonthatrobotD:6:40PM-DirtyCommies:Thecommiesgobackinside6:41PM-JAKE-R-LOT:doesmyreprogrammingattemptwork?6:41PM-DirtyCommies:No6:41PM-DirtyCommies:Itwalksforward,abouttocrushWoose6:41PM-LAUZ-R-A5:>shotattheweakpoint6:41PM-DirtyCommies:STOMP!6:41PM-DirtyCommies:Wooseisdead.6:41PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:awww6:41PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:youbastards6:41PM-DirtyCommies:Aclonewillbesentshortly.6:42PM-DirtyCommies:BZZZT!Lauzshotmisseshorribly.6:42PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Shootatbotsweakspot.6:42PM-DirtyCommies:Bzt!6:42PM-DirtyCommies:Youhitthebot6:42PM-DirtyCommies:Itdoesntlooktohurt,6:44PM-JAKE-R-LOT:whatisthestatusofthesodastuff?6:44PM-DirtyCommies:Someiscrushed6:44PM-DirtyCommies:Butmosthasbeentaken6:45PM-DirtyCommies:Lauzswitchesbarrelstoayellowbarrel.

6:45PM-DirtyCommies:Hefires6:45PM-JAKE-R-LOT:canicarrytheremainderofthecolabymyself?6:45PM-DirtyCommies:Bzt!6:45PM-DirtyCommies:THerobotisstunned.6:45PM-DirtyCommies:Slightly6:45PM-DirtyCommies:Youcangetsomecola,yes6:45PM-JAKE-R-LOT:butnotall?6:45PM-JAKE-R-LOT:ok.>Fireatbotagain.6:45PM-DirtyCommies:Notall6:46PM-DirtyCommies:TherobotreachesdownatLauzandpickshimup.6:46PM-DirtyCommies:Hecannotmoveorshoot.6:46PM-DirtyCommies:Ohyeah,PDCscanbeusedasagrenadeinselfdestructmode.

6:46PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>FireatbotsarminhopesthathewilldropLauz.6:47PM-DirtyCommies:Youfire,butitdoesn'tstopthebot6:47PM-LAUZ-R-A5:ishetryingtocrushme?6:47PM-DirtyCommies:Kinda6:47PM-DirtyCommies:Jake,goagain6:47PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>TakePDCfromdeadmeandactivateselfdestructmode.Huckitatthebotandtakecover.6:48PM-DirtyCommies:BOOM@!6:48PM-DirtyCommies:ItdropsLauz!6:48PM-LAUZ-R-A5:ffffffff-6:48PM-DirtyCommies:Lauzfallstohisdeath6:48PM-DirtyCommies:ACLONEWILLARRIVESHORTLYFORLAUZ6:49PM-DirtyCommies:"JAKE-R-LOT,FORLOOTINGINTHEPRESENCEOFCOMMUNISTS,

YOUAREOBVIOUSLYACOMMUNISTASWELL.SHOOTTHETRAITOR.6:49PM-DirtyCommies:Acarsppedsby.Wooseisdumpedout.6:50PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"fuck.me."6:50PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Gotocommiesandasktojointhem.6:50PM-DirtyCommies:Thebotsawsyouinhalfinresponse.6:51PM-DirtyCommies:Aclonewillarriveshortly.6:51PM-DirtyCommies:Wooseagainsttherobot.6:51PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>TakeoutPDA.IfIdon'thaveone,aquireonefromthevariouscorpseslyingaround.6:51PM-DirtyCommies:Youhaveone



6:51PM-DirtyCommies:PDC6:51PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>ActivateHyperspeed6:52PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>SearchforWi-Fiaccesspoint.Hackintothebot,andreprogramit.6:54PM-DirtyCommies:"AMUTANTTRAITORISAMONGYOU.ITSNAMEISWOOSE-R-GUD6:54PM-DirtyCommies:Youfindanaccesspoint6:54PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Ignorecomputer,continuehack6:54PM-DirtyCommies:Youhackthebot6:55PM-DirtyCommies:Acarspeedsby.ItdropsofLauz.6:55PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Programittoprotectmeunderallcosts,disobeyordersfromanyoneexceptme,andtokillallcommunists.6:55PM-DirtyCommies:Okay.6:55PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>ActivateittokillBubba.Painfully.6:55PM-DirtyCommies:Itturnsbacktothebuildingandstompsin.6:55PM-LAUZ-R-A5:runoverandgetmyoldgunandPDA6:55PM-DirtyCommies:BooM!6:55PM-DirtyCommies:Okay6:56PM-LAUZ-R-A5:teararagfrommyoldclothesandhidethecolorofmybarrel6:56PM-DirtyCommies:Therobotstompsonin6:56PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Runoutabackdoor6:56PM-DirtyCommies:Itbeginskillingthecommies,butitstompsonsomeofthebeverages6:56PM-DirtyCommies:Anorangesuitedcommieshootsfireattherbot

6:57PM-DirtyCommies:Robot*6:57PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:>Runandhidedammit!Runandhide!6:57PM-LAUZ-R-A5:runafterwoose6:57PM-DirtyCommies:Bubbabeginsrunning6:58PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Searchcommunistcorpsesforweapons.6:58PM-DirtyCommies:Youfindmanyhammers6:58PM-DirtyCommies:Andsomesickles6:58PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:hmmm6:58PM-DirtyCommies:Andsomelaserbarrels(red)6:58PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Grabthelaserbarrelfrommycorpse,andfindafunctioninggun.6:59PM-DirtyCommies:Youhaveone6:59PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Ah.

6:59PM-DirtyCommies:Whenyouarecloned,yougetone6:59PM-DirtyCommies:Ofeverythingyouhad6:59PM-DirtyCommies:therestdisappeared6:59PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Takeallofthelaserpistolbarrels.6:59PM-DirtyCommies:Okay6:59PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Also,grabahammer.6:59PM-DirtyCommies:youfindthree7:00PM-DirtyCommies:Youtakeahammer7:00PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>Gatherupremaingbouncingbubblybeverages,andproceedtothedropoffarea.7:00PM-DirtyCommies:Youstartgatheringsome7:02PM-DirtyCommies:Youhearaboom7:06PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>usemymeatychunkstoattractflies

7:07PM-DirtyCommies:Didntyoucomebacl?7:07PM-DirtyCommies:Woopse7:07PM-DirtyCommies:Acopterbotdropsoffapackage!7:07PM-DirtyCommies:Veeeee7:07PM-DirtyCommies:JAKEjumpsout.7:07PM-JAKE-R-LOT:huzzah7:07PM-JAKE-R-LOT:isthereancolaleftlayingaround?7:07PM-DirtyCommies:Okayguys7:07PM-DirtyCommies:Scenarioover!7:07PM-JAKE-R-LOT:awh.



I'mtheChristmasOrg!haschangedtheirnametoTheComputer.7:08PM-TheComputer:"Citizens!Goodjob.Whereisyourfourthmember?"7:08PM-LAUZ-R-A5:bobba?7:08PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"AretalkingaboutBUBBA?7:09PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"7:09PM-LAUZ-R-A5:didyounotgetthepictures?7:09PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"Dirtycommunistscum."7:09PM-TheComputer:"Youhavereturnedthebeverages.Good,nowthecitizenscandrinkagain!However,itlookslikenotallwasreturned.Whereistherestofthebeverages?"7:09PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"Ichasedhimoffwitharobot."7:09PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"Destroyed.7:10PM-TheComputer:"WOOSE-R-GUDisamutanttraitor.PleaseenteroneoftheInternalSecuritiesHappyroomsforultimateHappiness!"7:10PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:"alllrightthen."7:10PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:>RUNTHEFUCKAWAY7:10PM-TheComputer:"Killthetraitor!"7:11PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Shootatwoose7:11PM-TheComputer:"Happinessismandatory."7:11PM-TheComputer:Youcannotshoothim,herunsawaufast.7:11PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>Chaseafterhim7:11PM-TheComputer:Youcannotseehimanymore.7:11PM-TheComputer:Hegotaway7:12PM-TheComputer:"Youdidnotkillthetraitor?Youarebothtraitors!"

7:12PM-TheComputer:AgroupofVultureSquadsrunsout.7:12PM-LAUZ-R-A5:RUNAWAY!7:12PM-TheComputer:Theyobliterateyouwithlaserrifles.7:12PM-LAUZ-R-A5:RUNTHRUETHENEARESTWALL7:12PM-TheComputer:Cloneswllbedeliveredlater.7:12PM-TheComputer:THeykilledyoubeforeyoucouldgetout7:12PM-TheComputer::D7:12PM-JAKE-R-LOT:"itried!ididthebesticould!"7:12PM-TheComputer:ThetruewinnersoftheSecretSocietyare...7:12PM-TheComputer:drumrollplease7:13PM-LAUZ-R-A5:ffffffffffffff-7:13PM-LAUZ-R-A5:fffffffffffff-7:13PM-LAUZ-R-A5:ffffffffffffffffff-

7:13PM-LAUZ-R-A5:ffffffffffffffff-7:13PM-JAKE-R-LOT:>drumroll7:13PM-TheComputer:WOOSE-R-GUD!7:13PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:NIOCE7:13PM-JAKE-R-LOT:idontunderstandtheobjectiveofthisgame7:13PM-TheComputer:HesuccessfullystolesomeoftheBouncingBubblyBeverages.7:14PM-TheComputer:JAKE-R-LOTalmostmadeit,buthedidnotpersonallykilltherobotprototype.7:14PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:It'stocompletethesecretsocietymissions7:14PM-TheComputer:BUBBA-R-HDGfailed,anddidnotstealanyoftheBBB.7:14PM-TheComputer:LAUZ-R-A51didnotsuccessfullytaketherobot'scircuits.

7:15PM-TheComputer:Notonlythat,butyouhavetocompletetheComputer'smissions.7:15PM-WOOSE-R-GUD:Iwinthegameyaaay7:15PM-TheComputer:Yourgoalistogettohigherclearencelevels,aswellasrankinginyoursecretsociety.7:16PM-TheComputer:WoosewaspartofFreeEnterprise.7:16PM-TheComputer:JakewasapartoftheFrankensteinDestroyers.7:16PM-TheComputer:LauzwasPro-Tech7:16PM-TheComputer:AndBubbawasacommunist.7:16PM-TheComputer:Allweremutants.



7:17PM-JAKE-R-LOT:ok7:17PM-TheComputer:Thatwasfun!7:17PM-JAKE-R-LOT:yeah7:17PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:Yep7:17PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:I'msuchafilthycommie7:18PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:FUNISTREASON7:18PM-TheComputer:BubbahadAdrenalinControl.7:18PM-TheComputer:Whichiswhyhecouldbustsomanyheads.7:18PM-TheComputer:Whichhewasn'tsupposedtodo.7:18PM-TheComputer:Oneofhisobjectiveswastokilltheleastamountofcomrades.7:19PM-TheComputer:IthinkLauzdidn'tkillany7:19PM-TheComputer:lol7:19PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:That'swhyItriedtoKOthem7:19PM-BUBBA-R-HDG:Ionlykilledone:(7:19PM-TheComputer:Lol.

paranoia game 1

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