pamphlet 02 friends
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The Prophet cited an extraordinary comparison between righteous company andevil association. He mentioned, 'Verily, the example of a good companion in comparison
to an evil one is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith's bellow. From the first
you would either get a gift of his musk's scent, buy some from him, or enjoy its good smell,
while the bellow will either burn your clothes, or give you a bad, nasty smell thereof.'
[Agreed upon] Thus, we need to be very careful when choosing associates and along these
lines, a Muslim should be very much concerned to understand the Islamic perspective of
friendship and characteristics of a good companion, in order to choose the right person to
associate with. Following are some guidelines deduced from the teachings of the Qur'aan
and the Sunnah, which designate the characteristics of a Muslims friends.
Man is liable to imitate and copy those whom he befriends. If ones friends
engage in virtuous deeds, this would prompt him to imitate good qualities.
Whereas, if ones friends indulge in bad practices, then it is very likely for
him to get accustomed with their bad characteristics and eventually
incorporate them in his behavior, knowingly or unknowingly! Such is also true
concerning ones beliefs as Allahs Messenger is reported to have said,
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Faith:
Righteousness, God-fearing:
Morals and Good Character:
Faith should be the first criterion for a meaningful
friendship. Allah says, The believers, men and
women, are Awliya (helpers, supporters, friends,
protectors) of one another; they enjoin (on the
people) al-Maroof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism andall
that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people)
from al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism, disbelief of allkinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they
perform Salaat, and give the Zakaat, and obey
Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His
Mercy on them. Surely, Allah is All-Mighty, All-
Wise. [Soorah Tawbah (9): 71] Thus, friendship
based on the correct faith aims towards
supporting and encouraging one another towards
the obedience of Allah. Its goal is much more
sublime than the friendship that is done for
worldly gain, and amongst its benefits is that it is
a means to safeguard ones Aqeedah from being
tainted with incorrect beliefs and practices.
The Messenger of Allah said: 'Men are of two
types, a man who is righteous, fearful of Allah and
honorable to Allah, or a man who is vicious,
miserable and insignificant to Allah, the
Exalted,' [al-Muntakhab by Abd bin Humayd
(793)]
Thus, the best of people to befriend arethose who possess Taqwaa (fear of Allah) for,
'Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is
that (believer) who has Taqwa.' [Soorah al-
Hujurat (49): 13] and 'Allah loves those who are
al-Muttaqin (those who possess Taqwa).' [Soorah
Maryam (19): 63]
Islam gives precedence to Taqwa in all
matters, for example, in cases of marriage while
choosing a life partner, Allah's Messenger
stressed upon choosing a pious spouse, he said,
'A women is married for four (reasons); herwealth, her nobility, her beauty and her piety.
Choose the pious one and you will be successful.'
[Saheeh al-Bukharee (7/27)] He also said, 'If a
man, whose practice of the religion satisfies you,
asks you for your daughter in marriage, you
should marry them; otherwise, there will be
corruption on the Earth.' [At-Tirmidhee]
Choosing a friend is as important as choosing a
life partner, therefore the wise choice are the
(those who possess Taqwa). Ali
advised, 'Befriend righteous people, for they are a
good resource to use in this and the last life. Have
you not heard the statement of the people of the
Fire, 'Now we have no intercessors. Nor a close
friend (to help us). (2): 175' [al-Ihya]
Benefits of accompanying righteous people
are numerous, amongst which is improving one's
religion. As people are always found to be
competitive within friends, associating with
righteous individuals inspires competing them in
righteous deeds, thus expanding the scope of
performing righteous deeds and perfecting thereligion.
Consider the example of the Sahabah ,
they were only second in righteousness to Allah's
Messenger , because they were so close to the
Prophet - the most pious. Also, a number of
narrations show that the Sahabah would
compete each other in performing righteous deeds
and achieving high ranks with Allah. For
instance, Umar said, 'The Messenger of Allah
ordered us to give charity at a time when I had
some money. I said to myself, 'This day, if ever, Iwill be ahead of Abu Bakr .' I brought half of my
money and the Messenger of Allah asked me,
'What have you left for your family?' I said, 'A
similar amount.' Abu Bakr brought all he had and
the Messenger of Allah asked him, 'What have
you left for your family?' He said, 'I left for them
Allah and His Messenger .' So, I said to myself, 'I
will never compete with you again.' [Abu Dawood]
It is necessary that the friends you choose havegood character and possess Islamic morals and
etiquettes. Allah, the Exalted, has encouraged
His slaves in the Qur'aan to associate with those
who have good characteristics. Allah says, 'O you
who believe! Fear Allah and be with those who are
true (in words and in deeds).' [(9): 119]
It is essential that those whom you choose
as friends recognize and respect the limits of
Allah. For example, they should understand the
Islamic etiquettes of speaking and language, for
sometimes talks among friends can go beyond
bounds, like one may be involved in sins like
Gheebah (backbiting), nick-naming, slandering,
etc. which are generally considered to be very
insignificant, but can have disastrous affect on
one's Hereafter. The Messenger of Allah said,
'Beware of sins which are treated as being minor;
just like a people who encamp in the center of a
valley, so someone brings a stick of firewood and
someone else brings a stick until they are able to
bake their bread. Likewise, sins which are treated
as being minor and for which the person is taken
to account will destroy him.' [(Saheeh) MusnadAhmad (5/331) and others] It is related that the
Muttaqoon
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Messenger of Allah was once passing through
one of the graveyards of Medina or Makkah; he
heard voices of two persons who were being
tortured in their graves. The Prophet said,
'These two person are being tortured, (but) not for
a major sin.' He further added, 'Yes. Indeed, one of
them never saved himself from being soiled with
his urine while the other used to go about with
calumnies (to make enmity between friends).'[Saheeh al-Bukharee (1/215)]
The importance of good character is also
manifest in the Hadeeth of Allah's Messenger
who said, 'Nothing will be heavier on the Day of
Resurrection in the scale of the believer than good
manners. Allah hates one who utters foul or
coarse language.' [At-Tirmidhee] The Messenger
of Allah was asked about the deed, which will be
foremost to lead a man to Jannah, he replied,
'Fear of Allah and the good character.'...' [At-
Tirmidhee]
One's associates and
surrounding should help him remember Allah
because man is ordered to remember Allah at all
times. Remembrance of Allah strengthens the
slave's bond with His Lord and prevents his heart
and mind from being heedless of divine guidelines
and limits. Abu Hurayrah reported the
Messenger of Allah saying, 'If anyone sits in a
gathering where he does not remember Allah, he
will bring grief upon himself (on the Day of
Resurrection), and he who lies down in a place
where he does not remember Allah, will bring
grief upon himself (on the Day of Resurrection).'
[Abu Dawood]
The superiority of the remembrance of
Allah was explained by Allah's Messenger , who
said: 'The example of the one who remembers his
Lord, in comparison to the one who does not
remember his Lord, is that of a living creature
compared to a dead.' [Saheeh al-Bukharee]
I n th e pr esen t ti me of t rial s an d
tribulations, it is very easy to be caught up in
worldly affairs. Allah warns His slaves againstassociating with those who busy themselves in
worldly pleasures and give no heed to the
remembrance of Allah. Allah says, 'And keep
yourself patiently with those who call on their
Lord, morning and afternoon, seeking His Face
and let not your eyes overlook them, desiring the
pomp and glitter of the life of the world; and obey
not him whose hearts We have made heedless of
Our Remembrance, one who follows his own lust
and whose affairs (deeds) have been lost.' [(18):
28] The Qur'aan informs us that on the Day of
Judgment there will be people who will bite their
hands in regret that they were lead astray
because of choosing wrong people as their friends,
they would say, 'Woe to me! Would that I had
never taken so-and-so as a friend! He indeed led
me astray from the Reminder (this Qur'aan) after
it had come to me.' [Soorah al-Furqan (25): 27]
Whereas, those who help one another in piety,
truth and remembrance of Allah will surely
benefit each other in the Hereafter. Allah will
grant them His Shade on the Day of Judgment
and He says, 'Friends on that day will be foe's one
t o a not her e xce pt A l -Mut t aq o on ( pio us,
righteous).' [Soorah az-Zukhruf (43):67]
Remembering Allah:
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A Muslim's primary concern before choosing friends should be to seek the Pleasure of Allah in the
friendship. The Messenger of Allah said, 'Whoever loves for Allah, and hates for Allah, gives for Allah
and withholds for Allah, has completed his faith.' [Abu Dawood]
Friendship that is based upon the sincere purpose of seeking Allah's Pleasure brings about the
love of Allah for the slave. Abu Hurayrah narrated that Allah's Messenger said, 'A man went to visit
a brother of his in another village. Allah sent an Angel to wait for him on the road. When the man came,
the Angel asked him, 'Where do you intend to go?' He said, 'I am going to visit a brother of mine who lives
in this village.' The Angel asked, 'Have you done him any favor (for which you are now seeking
repayment)?' He said, 'No, I just love him for the sake of Allah.' The Angel told him, 'I am a messenger to
you from Allah, sent to tell you that He (Allah) Loves you as you love your brother for His sake.' [Saheeh
Muslim]
From the benefits of such a virtuous friendship is that on the Day of Judgment, when, 'the sky
will be like the boiling filth of oil (or molten lead, etc.) andthe mountains will be like flakes of wool. And no
friend will ask of a friend.' [(70): 8-10] 'That day shall a man flee from his brother. And from his mother
and his father, and from his wife and children.' [(81): 34-37] 'Allah, the Exalted, will declare on the Day of
Resurrection, 'Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My Grace? This Day, I shall shadethem under My Shade, when there is only My Shade.' [Saheeh Muslim]
Friendship for Allah's Sake